This is my longest chapter yet and it is a school night so read at your own risk

Josie Archer was a strange case. To the untrained eye, she was the very definition of a swot. The truth was, behind the judgmental glares, the studying until she literally went mental, Josie was a person - she had good and bad qualities and was very tempted to break every rule put in front of her. She was a supportive and loyal friend. She could sometimes speak harshly but that was only because she was passionate about her beliefs and opinions. She was also an extremist who was driven by her need for her parents' attention and approval. So she studied and studied hard to be the best at everything she did and when that didn't succeed in getting a big thumbs up from mum and dad she chose a much different path. What came from occasionally skiving off classes to spend the day laying in bed or mouthing off to her teachers or colouring her hair and piercing her nose, changed into something else entirely. Something even Eilidh wasn't sure of. She was afraid that Josie might do something actually stupid this time.
She, of course, had no idea where it had come from, the switch was as unpredictable as every other time. It started out like a normal day. Lily was already up and out doing whatever it was that Lily did so early in the morning, Marlene had ripped open their curtains to surprise them with the full force of the sun while she sang merrily and happily, Mary had groaned attempted to get up but decided against it, Eilidh hadn't even bothered to respond and merely pulled the covers over her head, Josie whimpered, rolled out of bed, and made her way to the bathroom. Later Josie and Marlene would team up and pull Eilidh out of bed while they ignored her inappropriate language and empty threats.
After a good shower turned Eilidh into the semi-sweet and cheerful person she usually was, they would walk to the Great Hall, arm in arm, to meet Lily for a cup of tea while they waited for breakfast to appear.
"Morning," Lily grinned. As usual, Lily was already on her third cup of tea.
"How was the library?" Eilidh would ask with a conspicuous note of disbelief. Not even Josie got up at who-knows-what o'clock to go to the library.
Then Josie would ask about some assignment or something class related, in this case, it was: "Did you finish your transfigurations essay?"
Then Eilidh would roll her eyes and give Mary that look that said 'seriously, they're worrying about academics this early in the morning?!' and Mary would shrug and give a slight smile while Lily and Josie compared their essays.
"So, how late did you stay out last night?" Marlene asked, probably noticing the dark circles under Eilidh's eyes despite her attempts at hiding them.
Eilidh bit her tongue, swallowing the words she wanted to say, something along the lines of, 'I'm sorry my main focus in life isn't my sleep schedule,' or 'I'm sorry I don't have a problem getting E's in my classes with less than eight hours of sleep,' or 'I'm sorry I have friends that actually like to have fun,' or 'I'm sorry my little brother needs me,' or, in this case, 'I'm sorry that I physically cannot sleep like a normal person and that you cannot understand that.' She smiled sweetly because she knew Marlene was only asking because she cared, and said "I actually went to bed early last night," and left it at that.
Persephone joined them, as usual, shuffling her feet, rubbing her eyes, and yawning a giant yawn. "Morning ladies," she said, "how's the search going?" The search referred to Mary and Marlene actively trying to find a date to the ball. They only had a few weeks left.
"I might be going with Amadeus Mulciber," Mary shrugged, looking as if she didn't particularly care about this prospect either way.
Persephone wrinkled her nose. "Absolutely not," she said, "my best friend is not going anywhere with Amadeus Mulciber. I wish you'd let me set you up." It was the first time Eilidh remembered agreeing with Persephone so strongly.
"I hate being set up," Mary protested, who had never been set up with anyone before.
"Oh, please don't go out with Mulciber. Sev hangs out with him and everytime I get near him my skin crawls," Lily shivered.
"He's not that bad, Lily," Mary argued. "He's a little weird b-"
"A little weird? He's creepy," Lily grimaced. Mary sighed and gave up arguing.
"I could set you up with someone really great," Persephone offered, smiling encouragingly.
"I could set you up with one of my boys," Eilidh offered. "I think only Sirius has a date… and maybe James but I think you'd get along with Remus better anyway."
Mary shook her head quickly wearing a strangely blank expression.
"I could get you, Sturgis Podmore," Persephone said, braggingly. Eilidh fought back a snarl and turned away.
Marlene caught her eye and smiled at her knowingly. "I think Mary and Remus would be great together," she said, loud enough to be heard over Persephone ranting about how great Podmore was. She faltered only briefly at Marlene's comment but then continued on as if no one had spoken. "Speaking of Remus, has he said anything about our study date?" Marlene asked, trying to distract Eilidh.
"You two have study dates?" Eilidh asked, teasingly, raising an eyebrow.
"It sounds better than me tutoring him. Most of the time I think he should be tutoring me," Marlene said. "Anyway, he's had to cancel on me a few times for whatever reason, I'm sure James and Sirius keep him busy, but he needs to catch up in potions before we move on to the next chapter."
"I'll let him know," Eilidh promised.
"How is Sirius anyway?" Lily asked.
"Fine. Completely mental but fine," Eilidh shrugged.
"Anything we should know about," Lily said, trying to seem nonchalant. She was needlessly pouring herself another cup of tea.
"Erm, James is not at all serious about the girl he's going to the ball with. I don't even think he knows her. Pevensie set him up," Eilidh shrugged. It had been the focus of their ridicule last night, when Pevensie strutted into their dormitory without knocking, announced "Dyana Medina. Saturday, at seven o'clock. Astronomy tower. You're welcome," and abruptly left. Then Remus remembered that Pevensie had said something about him having a girl for James, and the teasing commenced until James was red in the face embarrassed and stormed out.
"I asked about Sirius. I don't give two shits about Potter," Lily snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.
It took all of Josie pointing out that Lily was too interested in 'Potter's' goings on for her own good, and Lily claiming it was only because she hated him so much, and Marlene pointing out that there was a very fine line between love and hate for them to realise that maybe Lily's dislike of James was more like something resembling the opposite.
Josie hummed the wedding march under her breath.
Lily opened her mouth to no doubt spew some scathing remark but something caught her eye and cut her off. That something happened to be a red-faced angry Severus Snape, marching over to them, looking substantially more greasy than usual.
"What happened?" Lily asked, her eyes bulging. Eilidh and the other girls could only stare in silence. Snape was covered in head to foot in some kind of sticky oil. It dripped off his eyelashes and nose and had completely saturated his school robes.
"I am going to be late to first period. Will you hand in my essay?" he asked, curtly.
Lily accepted the rucksack Snape held out for her, her mouth still hanging open. Snape turned on his heels and stalked off.
"That looked really gross," Eilidh remarked.
"Eilidh!" Lily snarled at her.
"To have on him! Obviously, that wasn't his fault," Eilidh defended.
"Eilidh," Lily hissed between clenched teeth. It took only a moment for Eilidh to realise what Lily was talking about. Her boys, James and Sirius, in particular, were sitting not far from them, laughing boisterously, acting out something that looked terribly like someone having a shock than being incredibly embarrassed and angry about it.
"I'll talk to them," Eilidh said, already on her feet. She hoped that this wasn't their fault but sincerely doubted it wasn't. She couldn't really blame them either. "Tell me that wasn't your fault."
"It wasn't my fault," James said automatically.
"Good. Now tell me the truth," Eilidh said, sitting down next to Sirius.
Sirius cleared his throat and picked up his newspaper.
"What truth?" James asked.
"The truth about Snape. Was that your fault?" Eilidh asked, as clearly as she could.
"No, that was his mum's fault," James said.
"Should've kept her legs closed," Sirius mumbled. Eilidh kicked him under the table. He winced very slightly but continued to ignore her.
"James," Eilidh said, warningly.
"Relax. It's not going to hurt him. We found it in the hospital wing," James said, indifferently.
"Found what in the hospital wing?" Eilidh questioned.
"Castor oil. It's good for you," James said, earnestly.
"As a laxative," Sirius mumbled. James snorted.
Remus sighed heavily. "Marlene is calling me over."
"Remus," Eilidh said, trying to sound patient and not irritable.
"I tried to tell them to take the high road," Remus defended and quickly made his way to Marlene.
"He put James in the hospital wing," Sirius said, defiantly. Eilidh sighed. She couldn't be angry with them, not for this, no matter what Lily said in Snape's defence. James smiled in an 'I'm sorry you're upset' way and loaded up his plate with eggs and toast. Peter looked maybe a little paler than usual and he was also supporting dark circles under his eyes. She tried to catch his attention but he was too focused on his breakfast. She turned back to Sirius, contemplated apologising for getting so upset at him for defending his friend then thought the better of it. He should have taken the high road like Remus said.
He gazed back at her, realised that she wasn't going to say anything, flicked his newspaper, and continued to read.
Sirius read the newspaper so habitually it rivalled her grandmother's habit of reading the bible. Miss Catherine Shaw began every morning at six with a tall glass of lemon water, two boiled eggs, and a chapter of the Ignatius version of the holy bible which, if she were not reading it, she kept in the pocket of her apron. The book itself was falling apart at the seams and had so many markings on the pages Eilidh always wondered how she was able to read a word of it. Really, it was Grandmother Shaw's fingers that showed her dedication; the soft pads of her fingertips were cut across with scars from papercut after papercut so deep they appeared constantly wet. Sirius was in the early stages of these fingers. The first three fingers of both hands were stained black with ink. His forefinger and thumb on his right hand showed signs of minor injury so regularly that the papercut he received that morning didn't even register until he saw the blood colouring the pages. He stared at the red mark with the concentration of a man trying to straighten a corkscrew with telekinesis. The newspaper, he would usually fold up and store for later use in his left back pocket, was cast aside as he looked up at James waiting for his attention.
James, who had the habit of wearing his glasses slightly askew, favoring the left, of never brushing his hair or tying his shoes, and smirking at seemingly nothing at all, was smirking in a sort of forlorn and unconscious way, with his head resting against his hand so he could watch Remus at the far end of the table.
Remus was exact in his mannerisms. They were rehearsed so he was never closer than four and one-half inches away from anyone else, his eye contact was forced on his part and he clearly found it difficult, but he made a strong effort to keep his nervous habits under control. He sat with his hands clenched together in his lap under the table with exactly four and a half inches of space between him and those on either side of him while he stared attentively at Marlene, who was the opposite in manners.
Marlene liked to talk with her hands which, because of the time of day, caused the grease from her sausage to flick around in danger of landing on someone's face. Her eyes looked everywhere but at Remus while she sat so close to Josie that she might have been sitting on top of her. The contrast always made Eilidh laugh for Marlene's manners only made Remus tense up more which only caused Marlene to boisterously try to get him to relax creating a repeated cycle. At this point, she was on the verge of setting Josie off, which would cause Lily to tell her to lighten up and let people live, and Josie would snarl and Marlene would tell them to stop bickering like children, then Mary would make a feeble attempt to change the subject. Had Eilidh been there she would have ignored Mary's attempt in favour of teasing the already irate Josie.
Indeed, Josie had just turned away from her conversation with Mary to rebuke Marlene for elbowing her in the back. Eilidh, with a heavy sigh, turned back to her boys.
Peter was seeing how much torn up bits of parchment he could fit into James's hair without him noticing.
"Do you think he's broken?" Sirius mused, looking amazed at James's oblivion. "I mean…" He waved a hand in front of James's face, finally shaking him out of his reverie.
"Stop it!" he snapped, combing a hand through his hair to let the parchment fall. Peter and Sirius chuckled at each other. Before James could snap at them again, Eilidh interrupted.
"What were you reading in the paper, Sirius?"
"Now that James is back from planet Lily, all we're waiting on is Remus, then I'll tell you," Sirius said with a subtle and heavy look down at the newspaper.
"Is it really that bad?" Eilidh asked. At this point, she knew that both James and Sirius only liked to go over bad news once and had often made her wait until they were all gathered before they would tell her anything.
She found this to be especially trying. Eilidh was not a patient person and usually opted to do things on her own so she wouldn't have to wait for other people to get things done. Her increased time with the boys was nothing if not a learning experience.
"It… things are going to change," Sirius answered carefully. It was not the response she was expecting. She was prepared for a bitter response about an incompetent Ministry or a resentful remark about the Death Eaters. This careful and ensure Sirius was unfamiliar and therefore unsettling.
She glanced quickly at James for his opinion on Sirius's mood (he was just as concerned as herself,) then Remus to gauge his progress with Marlene. He was nodding repetitively which meant that they had reached the factual part of their discussion and that it would be quickly over. Still, she chanced a glance down at the Daily Prophet laying open between her and Sirius. An untouched crossword taking up half the page sat right in front of her, underneath was the last bit of an article on a newly discovered sea creature off the coast of the Middle East. The other page contained a large advertisement for a Celestina Warbeck concert.
Eilidh began unconsciously bouncing her knee as she turned her attention back to the crossword puzzle. Number one across: in need of mopping. Spilt. Number six across the wandmaker's friend. Bowtruckle.
"Eilidh," Sirius said, sounding amused, "that paper is more likely to burst into flames than it is to give you any answers."
"Must be why its called a puzzle. I'd never thought of that before," Eilidh returned.
"Oh, is that what you were doing? Would you like a quill?" Sirius laughed. Eilidh glared at him but his smile didn't dissipate in the slightest. He stared over her head at Remus, caught his attention, then waved him over.
"Wow you must be special, Nicnevin," James observed, "whenever I get impatient he only tells me that patience is a virtue."
"Only because you get impatient about things I can't control," Sirius argued.
"Who's impatient?" Remus asked, taking a seat on the other side of Sirius.
"Eilidh," James answered.
"What is it Eilidh?" Remus asked.
"Sirius is withholding information," Eilidh accused.
"It's important. We were patiently waiting for you," Sirius said, taking up his newspaper again.
No other words needed to be spoken. Remus was once again as stiff as a board, though perhaps only three inches away from Sirius. James turned his body so Sirius would have his full attention. Peter set down his fork and wiped his mouth as he watched Sirius expectantly.
And Sirius began:
"Reform at Hogwarts
Due to the recent scandals at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (including but not limited to the sacking of the late Deputy Headmaster and professor of Defense against the Dark Arts, Corliss Danton, only three years ago) the ministry has finally decided to intervene. Parents will be delighted to hear that a ministry appointed proctor will be positioned at the school to keep their children safe. The proctor will be nominated by the Board of Governors.
Parents would also like to hear that Albus Dumbledore will be placed under observation and a possible inquiry will occur."
"How are they going to observe Dumbledore?" James interrupted Sirius with obvious disapproval at the news. Sirius said nothing but tossed the newspaper aside with apparent disdain.
"I reckon that'll be apart of the proctor's job." Remus looked heavily and thoughtfully at nothing in particular.
"What do they mean by inquiry?" Peter asked, his face scrunched up in both disgust and confusion.
"Who the hell cares about that berk, Danton? He was a shit teacher," Sirius grumbled, pushing his plate away, evidently losing his appetite.
"Dad liked him," James defended halfheartedly.
"A lot of people did. He started here right after Professor Dippet retired. The Headmaster before Dumbledore," Remus explained at his friends' questioning looks. "They trusted Danton almost as much as they trust Dumbledore. Or used to trust Dumbledore, at least."
"It's not like he could continue teaching!" Sirius protested. "He fell asleep in the middle of his sentences. He rarely graded anything despite everything we turned in. And -"
"He told you off for setting Bellatrix's rucksack on fire?" James said, smiling knowingly.
"He defended my insane cousin," Sirius returned with less mirth than he had received. "What was Dumbledore supposed to do? He couldn't work and this isn't a retirement home."
"Wonder who they'll nominate as the proctor?" Peter mused. Sirius scowled at him, offended at his lack of sympathy for Dumbledore.
"Well, Dumbledore has to report all the crazy to the Governor's, right? So probably an auror. That's their job, to catch dark wizards," James said, looking to the others for their agreement.
"If they can spare one, I suppose. But, I think, things are too intense outside of school for any of them to waste time on a thing like this," Remus said smartly.
"Right. This is probably just the Ministry trying to make it look like they're being productive. Reform at Hogwarts," Sirius scoffed, finding his appetite again and angrily stabbing at his eggs with a fork.
Eilidh couldn't help but think this might be a good thing. With a proctor here to monitor the halls and maybe even question students, their current Death Eater infestation might come to an end or at least bring their plans to a slow crawl.
"Remus, ask your dad to volunteer," James said. Remus looked at him questioningly. "Volunteer to be the proctor. Better one of our parents than one of theirs." James tilted his head in the direction of the Slytherin table.
"It didn't say that they were asking for volunteers," Remus murmured, taking up his goblet of pumpkin juice.
"Yeah, but, the Governors are going to have to nominate someone and your dad used to work for the Ministry, didn't he? Maybe if he calls in a few favours they might take him into account," James argued. Remus shrugged and took a long drink from his goblet like he was waiting for someone to fill the silence that had fallen. His friends, however, were accustomed to his methods to avoid questions he didn't want to answer so Remus was met with four faces looking expectantly at him.
"He's erm, he's had a hard time finding jobs recently and he's a bit sensitive about the subject," Remus mumbled, his head bowing lower and lower until he was making eye contact with his breakfast cereal.
"But that's perfect!" James exclaimed, making Remus jump.
"Being a Ministry appointed proctor will be much more secure than taking up odd jobs," Sirius said, trying to sound casual.
"And it'll probably pay more," Peter added.
"We'll help you write to him. Eilidh too. Woman's touch, you know," James said excitedly.
Eilidh smiled kindly at him but otherwise kept her opinions to herself. She trusted James to know where the line was with his friends.
"Wait, no. This can't - that's not the only reason," Remus sputtered, his face growing red out of embarrassment, then, "if they ask why he left the Ministry in the first place he'll have to lie or tell the truth and I'm not registered."
"So, we'll help him come up with a lie too. And dad still has connections at the Ministry so that'll help. And Sirius - er Eilidh probably has connections," James said, his mind already stubbornly made up.
"Oh, that'll be great," Remus muttered sarcastically. "The Nicnevins defending the father of a…." Remus's eyes swept the Hall with such acute vigilance the Ministry might as well have been sitting next to them. "What about your father? Why can't he volunteer?"
"Nah, too old," James shrugged dismissively. "Really, your father is the only one that can do it."
"Your dad's not that old," Remus argued.
"If Mr Potter doesn't volunteer he can focus his time on getting your father appointed," Sirius said. James, evident by the look he shot Sirius, hadn't wanted this fact to be pointed out. Remus, as still as a statue, rolled his eyes and hoped that this would put an end to the conversation.
"You'll try, yeah?" James asked, forcing Remus to hold eye contact. Remus clenched his jaw and gave a short nod. James gave a silent thank you and turned his attention to Sirius.
"What if they mean for someone else to observe Dumbledore, someone other than the proctor I mean?"
"Then there'll be two Ministry employees at Hogwarts. Not good for our operation but it's not horrible. It'll hinder the snakes quite a bit, won't it?" Sirius said.
"Yeah, but… the Mandrakes," James said in a low voice, leaning closer to Sirius to be sure that he'd be heard.
"That's what I meant," Sirius nodded, gravely.
Eilidh had the distinct impression that she wasn't meant to hear this bit of their conversation so she politely shifted her attention back to her tea and waited until James pulled back. There wasn't much they could do with Mandrakes, nothing that was too dangerous anyway.
"We should think worst case scenario," Eilidh announced. James's comment that one of their parents might become proctor had been gnawing at her. If an actual, full-grown Death Eater were placed in a position of power at Hogwarts… well, the thought alone was enough to fill her with dread.
James and Sirius pulled away from each other quickly.
"What worse case?" James asked, defensively.
"If Remus's dad doesn't make Proctor and one of theirs does. Enough of their parents are on the Board of Governors, it's very possible," Eilidh said, trying to remain calm. How could whatever scheme he was planning with the mandrakes be more important than this?
"Even more possible than my dad making it," Remus agreed.
"Sirius what is it called -?"
"Pessimist," Sirius answered James's half-spoken question.
"Yes, exactly. You two are a bunch of pessimists. Mr Lupin will become proctor and everything will be alright. Right, Pete?" James slapped Peter on the back, issuing a noise that sounded rather painful, and smiled at him expectantly. Peter looked sick to his stomach and made a show of chewing his toast so he wouldn't have to speak.
"Everything will be perfect," Sirius agreed for him. "With Mr Lupin here we'll be living like kings. And queen."
"And if he doesn't get the position?" Eilidh persisted stubbornly. Sirius gave her a subtle, hard look that actually caused her to falter. Sirius was never one to let a conversation like this drop so what changed?
"If he doesn't, then they're more likely to appoint an Auror than anyone else. We said that already," James said, his tone light but his look was just as hard as Sirius's had been.
"You're probably right," she said, uncertainly. She looked at Remus and Peter for any sign that either of them knew what she didn't. Remus was lost in thought and absentmindedly tracing the mouth of his goblet with his forefinger. Peter was staring at his plate, still looking sick. She assumed that their optimism had been for Peter's sake. What she couldn't understand is why they would cater to him so ardently. "Maybe they'll get Mad-Eye. That'd be cool, I've always wanted to meet him," she added, her casual tone more believable now.
"Makes sense. Hogwarts is a priority to them and Mad Eye's one of their best," Sirius said.
"Do you think he has to take that eye out when he sleeps?" James grinned.
"Gross, James. We're eating," Eilidh scolded.
"He has to take it out at some point! And if he's asleep we could nick it without him-"
"We are not doing anything to Mad-Eye Moody, James. Do you have a death wish?" Remus asked.
"I'm just saying, it'd be cool to take a look at that eye of his," James said.
"Why don't you just ask him?" Eilidh said, smirking.
"I'm not asking him!" James said.
"Haas," Sirius hissed for Professor Haas had just entered the Great Hall like everyone else who wanted to eat breakfast. He walked stridently past the Slytherin table nodding to a few students along the way. The only thing significant about this was that Sirius and Remus were dead set on believing that Haas was covering up some use of dark magic.
Eilidh sighed audibly and exchanged looks with James and Peter. Sirius and Remus looked back when Professor Haas was comfortably settled at the staff table, just as he had done every morning since the second of September.
"Highly suspicious," James said, raising an eyebrow and stroking an imaginary beard. Eilidh and Peter laughed.
"Seriously," Sirius said. James, Peter, and Eilidh looked at him innocently. Sirius grumbled and threw his napkin down on the table. Eilidh touched his forearm, hoping to comfort him.
"I think we should break into his office," Remus whispered, very seriously, leaning in so far that his tie dipped into his cereal.
James choked on his pumpkin juice. Peter paused mid-chew to stare at Remus like he had Devil's Snare growing out of his ears.
"That's a good idea. We're bound to find something incriminating," Sirius said.
"Like a couple of burglars," Eilidh nodded in agreement. Sirius huffed and rolled his eyes. He was growing very irritated with her.
"I'm in," James said, holding in a cough.
"James!" Eilidh said.
"It's not every day Remus Lupin wants to break into a teacher's office," James defended. "Maybe we should do McGonagall's next? I think she still has my-"
"We are breaking into Haas's and Haas's only," Remus said, firmly.
"But remember the charmed parchment from first year? We could copy the spell and use it on the you know what," James argued.
Whatever the you know what was, it was important enough for Remus not to be able to come up with an argument against. He turned back to his breakfast instead.
"Do you think we could do it without getting caught?" Peter asked.
"Haas, yes. McGonagall, no, but James and I will take care of that one," Sirius said.
"Dumbledore said I was on thin ice," Peter said.
"He said the same thing to me," Sirius said, waving him off.
"They've been saying it since second year after we crashed into those pigs on the front gate," James added.
"Only cause Filch made such a fuss about it," Sirius said.
"Wait, why are we breaking into McGonagall's office?" Eilidh demanded.
The look that James gave was one of pure guilt. Sirius, however, was quicker, "We're not. James and I are."
"It's been something they've been wanting to do since we got here. Deputy Headmistress's office. It's a pretty big notch on their rebellion post," Remus explained.
"Exactly. Next is Dumbledore's," Sirius said. "Well, Remus already knows how he just won't tell us. We'll figure it out eventually."
"Eilidh, I need a favour," James said quickly.
Eilidh glared at Sirius a little more. She really, really didn't like being lied to. But she didn't point it out. She merely smiled and turned to James.
James, who was typically fidgety, was still except for his rapidly tapping forefinger. Eilidh knew him well enough to know that whatever happened next was a ploy.
"I need you to distract your dorm mates tonight," he said. "It's for a prank. Don't worry, you won't be affected. But I'll need you guys completely out of the tower. Maybe take them to Hogsmeade."
"I can't just up and take them to Hogsmeade, James, and exactly how will me helping you prank my friends not affect me? They'll find out I helped you and it'll be us against them. Again," Eilidh added bitterly, towards Sirius, not James, though she didn't look at him.
"They won't find out, we'll make sure of it. And, instead of Hogsmeade, you can tell them you're falling behind in classes and need help catching up. You know, because you've been spending so much time with your boyfriend and his very handsome, funny, charming best mate," James grinned. Eilidh always found James's smiles to be contagious.
"I'm not saying that," she said.
"You don't have to say all of it. Just pick one," James said.
"No," she said, shortly, as she got up to leave. "Have fun breaking into Haas's office."
"Where're you going?" Sirius asked.
"To sit with my friends," she said, taking one step away.
"Do you still want me to walk you to Arithmancy?" Sirius asked.
"Nope," she drawled, taking another step.
"Okay. I'll see you in Transfigurations then since you're not helping with Haas," he said.
"See you," she said brightly. She really could have argued and probably would have had she not been so completely and utterly done with being lied to. She sat down next to Josie with a huff and rested her head on her shoulder. Josie patted her head, sympathetically, and continued eating.
"Boys suck?" Marlene asked, knowingly.
"How'd you know?" Eilidh moaned.
Marlene laughed, mechanically, and said nothing.
"Marlene does not have a very high opinion on the male sex at the moment," Mary said obligingly.
"She didn't seem to mind Remus," Eilidh observed, checking her watch. It was almost time for class.
"Remus Lupin is a saint and needs to be protected at all cost," Marlene argued, pointing a spoon at Eilidh for emphasis. Eilidh held up her hands as a sign of peace.
"He does hang out with Potter," Lily said, then added at Eilidh's warning look, "even you have to admit that he's not a saint." They had decided that it was impossible for them to completely avoid the James Potter subject and maintain their friendship but they could spare their other friends from being in the middle of their drama. They'd have a very long and drawn out 'discussion' about this when they didn't have an audience.
"James, no. But Remus is different… I wouldn't say he's a saint though," Eilidh said. After all, he was the one to propose breaking into a teacher's office.
"Exactly," Lily said. "So, I take it the one who sucks today is Prince Charming?"
"Prince Charming always sucks," Eilidh grumbled.
"Professionally?" Mary smirked.
"It was a joke!" Eilidh said, half humoured, half irritated. She was never going to live that remark down.
"You did run off with him in the middle of girls night," Lily said suspiciously.
"You all suck," Eilidh growled, playfully. "I'm going back to Prince Charming."
"Prince Charming can't protect you in Arithmancy," Lily sang with a devilish grin.
"I'm sure I can convince him to skive off. He's only got Care of Magical Creatures," Eilidh smiled, innocently, while Lily almost glared back at her.
"You can not leave me alone in that class again," Josie protested.
"I wouldn't. Besides we've got some plotting to do. Those boys are definitely up to something and they're not telling me what it is. It involves McGonagall's office and our dormitory," Eilidh said.
"The fact that it involves our dormitory should be a surefire sign that you need to kick some arse," Marlene said around a mouth full of toast.
"Agreed. I just thought you lot might want to be in on it." Eilidh shrugged and inspected her fingernails.
"How are they getting into our dormitory?" Lily asked.
"I don't know. They aren't telling me anything," Eilidh said.
The bell rang and every student in the Hall leapt to their feet.
"Eilidh, wait," Mary whispered, resting a hand on her arm. It was easy to get separated in the crowd exiting the Great Hall, Lily and the rest wouldn't even notice till they made it to class.
"Is everything alright?" Eilidh asked. Whatever Mary's reason for holding Eilidh back was, it seemed urgent and Mary didn't usually have urgent matters.
"Yes, of course, I just wanted to make sure you weren't upset," she said.
Eilidh shook her head. "Why would I be upset?"
"Because I kind of ignored you when you said you could set me up with Remus," Mary shrugged.
"Oh, no -"
"I just want you to know that it's not because I don't like them or because I'm taking Lily's side. I just…" Mary scrambled to finish her sentence, couldn't, sighed, and sat back down. Eilidh, very confused and now actually worried, followed her. "I need to swear you to secrecy," Mary whispered.
"Okay," Eilidh vowed, nodded.
"Like, you can't tell anyone this, not Sirius, not Lily, not that random bloke you met in a muggle cafe once. No one." Mary's eyes had grown wide as she gripped Eilidh's hand.
Eilidh clenched her jaw and tried not to laugh."Absolutely no one. Got it," she said.
Mary finally released her. She turned away and took a deep breath. "I was going out with Peter for a little bit."
Eilidh couldn't quite believe her ears. "What?" she exclaimed.
"He wanted to keep it a secret for some reason. I swear I wanted to tell all of you so much I could burst," Mary said, begging Eilidh to understand.
"Okay," was all Eilidh could think to say.
"Anyway, erm, I broke up with him and now it's really awkward and I just don't want to do that again. You know, date someone from our house. It would only be worse if I dated Remus because he and Peter are friends, so that's why I ignored you," Mary said. Eilidh couldn't believe that Mary had had an entire relationship, from start to finish, without anyone finding out about it. And Peter! Peter wasn't exactly the most subtle of people.
"What?" Eilidh exclaimed again.
"Please don't be mad. I told you I wanted to tell you all but he really didn't want to for some reason. We were going to reveal our relationship at the ball. But then I broke up with him," Mary rambled.
"Mary," Eilidh said, gripping her shoulders. She had wanted to say 'what the fuck' or 'shut the fuck up' but said instead, "I'm not mad."
Mary instantly relaxed.
"You don't know why he wanted to keep it a secret?" Eilidh questioned.
"No," Mary shook her head. "Whenever I asked him he'd get all weird."
"Weird," Eilidh breathed.
"Yeah," Mary agreed. "Promise you won't say anything?"
"I won't," Eilidh said but she had so many questions. And she really wanted to confront Peter. "We should get to class."
They found their friends at the foot of the stairs leading up to Professor Vector's class. Eilidh was uncharacteristically quiet as her mind swam with questions and trying to connect the string of events that could have led to Peter and Mary dating, maintaining a relationship, and breaking up without anyone finding out. James had been suspicious. He had known. Maybe he had seen something? If she hadn't been sworn to secrecy she would ask him.
"I'm in if Persephone can join. She's awesome at this stuff," Mary said.
"You already know I'm in," Lily said.
It took her a moment to realise what that they had picked up their previous conversation in the Great Hall. Mary wanted Persephone to join them in pranking the Gryffindor boys.
"You already invited her to girls' night," Eilidh told Mary. Persephone Machault wasn't necessarily the worst person to be around but she wasn't the greatest either.
"But, you said yourself that James Potter was brilliant with schemes and strategy. We've never really had to make a plan of attack before. Persephone has and she's really good at it," Mary argued.
"Cough, Slytherin, cough cough," Marlene said.
"Aren't you supposed to be -?" Mary started, looking scathingly at Marlene.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll see you bitches later," Marlene grinned before skipping off to Divinations.
"Machault can come if Josie's in," Eilidh said, feeling confident that there was nothing Mary could say to make Josie take a good chunk of time out of her study schedule. She skipped up the steps, arm in arm with Lily, and Mary immediately started on Josie.
"Taking breaks is good for you. It improves memory," Mary argued while Josie, being well acquainted with all of their practised arguments and coercion techniques, ignored. "If you don't allow yourself to have a little bit of fun once in a while the stress is going to kill you. How do you think we're going to feel if we have to bury you before we even graduate…" and so on.
Eilidh took her seat at the front of the classroom, glanced around at the familiar posters of formulas and symbol definitions, then began copying the notes already written on the chalkboard.
"I hate you," Josie told her as she took the seat next to her. Eilidh looked behind her to where Mary sat with Persephone, already talking up a storm. "I told her I'd do it," Josie said, unapologetic.
Eilidh clicked her tongue. "How are you ever going to pass your O.W.L's?"
"Shut up," Josie said. "Doing this means I can't take that extra trip to Hogsmeade this month."
Eilidh stared at her in disbelief. "I can't believe you were ever sorted into Gryffindor."
"You're the one that put me in that position," Josie said.
"Good morning class," Professor Vector said much too excitedly for both an Arithmancy class and a morning class.
"You don't have to be a bitch about it," Josie whispered.
"Please pass your assignments to the left and to the front and finish copying the notes on the board…"
Class went on. And on. Until Eilidh's head was swimming with numbers and figures and probabilities and statistics. Until her head ached with the amount of information that she was taking in and couldn't possibly think anymore. The bell rang its monotonous dong dong dong and the students scattered like rats on the pavement.
"Look, I'm sorry I put you in between me and Mary and I'm sorry I said what I did but all you had to say was no. You say it all the time, you're like the queen of no's." Eilidh said, which was a shitty way of apologising, yes, but she didn't really think she had anything to apologise for.
"Fine. I'll start saying yes then. To everything. Fuck school. Fuck my grades. And fuck my O.W.L's!" Josie ranted, marching off in the opposite direction of Transfigurations.
"Josie," Eilidh called after her. "Josie!"
"She said at breakfast she forgot her Transfigurations book," Lily said. "I told her I would share but you know how she gets."
So Eilidh nodded and pushed her worry down as they fast walked to the Transfigurations corridor on the opposite side of the castle. As usual, the boys beat them there. Not, as usual, James and Sirius were sitting on top of their desks. James spotted them, laid out in a position that was reminiscent of Burt Reynolds's famous nude photo, and grinned. She was instantly reminded of Mary and Peter; her thousands of unspoken questions made her tongue feel heavy in her mouth.
"Morning, Evans," James said.
"That it is," she responded, then turned to Eilidh, "I'm going to sit with Severus," and walked off to the Slytherin's side of the classroom.
"How was Arithmancy?" Sirius asked, taking Eilidh's hand.
"Fine," she said, tossing her rucksack into her chair.
"Just fine?" he asked.
"It was numbers and formulas and more numbers at eight o'clock in the morning, so yeah, it was just fine," she said.
"Okay. Er, do you think I could steal you away from your friends for lunch, I'd like to talk to you about a few things," Sirius said.
"Yeah, sure," Eilidh said, taking her hand back and knocking her rucksack off the chair so she could sit down.
"Do you actually want to?" he asked.
"As long as whatever we talk about is the truth, then of course," she said, smiling.
"That's exactly what we're going to talk about," Sirius said, looking at her significantly as if she would know the truth just by his expression.
He was completely barking as usual. His truth could mean one of many things. He could want to discuss the truth about Professor Haas. Or maybe it was his backwards way of saying they were going to help Remus come up with lies his father could tell the ministry. The list went on and on and at the very bottom was the truth about what Eilidh really wanted to know. She sighed and told herself that it really wasn't her business, that it was between his friends and him and that was a completely different relationship between her and him.
"I'll see you at lunch then," she smiled, a little more honestly this time.
"Great," he grinned and bent to peck her cheek before dashing off to Remus and Peter.
James was still draped across her and Josie's desks. He was smirking an on-purpose, knowing smirk with a dangerous glint in his eye.
Eilidh, reluctantly and very grudgingly asked, "what?"
"I suppose you'll be wanting the dog house to yourselves?" James drawled. Eilidh could only assume that 'the dog house' was his accidentally offensive title for Remus's shack.
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Get off of my desk!" Eilidh blushed furiously as she pushed James's feet to the floor. He merely laughed heartily and wickedly, it made her want to punch him and it made her smile uncontrollably. "Go to hell, Potter," she spat while he joined his friends.
"Love you, too, Nicnevin," he cooed.
The bell rang. McGonagall shut the door. The seat next to Eilidh remained empty.
Eilidh looked at Mary questioningly and was met with an equally confused expression. She glanced around her, assuming that Josie was so angry with Eilidh that she didn't want to sit with her but Josie wasn't anywhere.
The class went on. And on. Eilidh tried but couldn't take in a word of what McGonagall said. She sat slumped in her seat, bouncing her knee, and checking her watch every thirty seconds. Then every fifteen. Every ten. The bell rang.
Eilidh was the first out of the class. She ran to the nearest lavatory. Josie wasn't there. She checked every single one as she made her way back to Arithmancy and eventually found her, curled up behind the stalls with her knees to her chest and her head in her hands.
"Josie?" Eilidh said, approaching her slowly.
"I'm fine," Josie said, her muffled voice still echoing around the empty tiled room.
"You didn't come to Transfigurations." Eilidh knelt and carefully rested her hand on Josie's arm.
Josie had been crying, her eyes were still puffy and red and her cheeks were stained with running makeup.
"Mary made a second copy of her notes for you and I told McGonagall that you started your period and went to get a pain potion from Pomfrey. You can turn in your essay during break," Eilidh said softly. She was well acquainted with these fits that Josie would get into every now and then. Her emotions would build and build until she broke. The next few days would not be easy for the Gryffindor girls.
"I'm really sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it at all," Eilidh said, sincerely.
"It's not that." Josie wiped a stray tear that was leaking from her eye and sniffled.
"Then what is it?" Eilidh asked, moving to sit beside her.
"Nothing. I'm fine. Really," she insisted.
"Jo," Eilidh said, the weighted word convey more emotion than anything Eilidh could have struggled to string together. Josie sighed.
"I got a letter from home. After I wrote to them about how excited I was to come home for Christmas," Josie sniffled and roughly rubbed her forearms.
Eilidh took one of her hands feeling a surge of empathy for Josie.
"They're going on a business trip and won't be home. They didn't even say where. But they've hired our old nanny because they know just how thrilled we'll be to see her," Josie said, bitterly, her resentment stalling her tears and twisting her mouth into a sneer. "Maybe I'll just stay here."
"You should be with family," Eilidh said.
"I see the Professors more than I ever see my parents. And I'll have the library to myself," Josie argued.
"What about your sister?" Eilidh asked.
"She always goes to visit her old school friends," she said softly. She rested her head against the bathroom wall and closed her eyes.
Eilidh let her rest and used the time to think hard. She wished she were James because James has access to a house where he can store all his friends for safe keeping. Suggesting that Josie stay at the Potters would only make Josie laugh and put Eilidh in a huge amount of debt with James. But she couldn't stay at Hogwarts. That was too sad. Sadder than going back home and spending Christmas with her old nanny.
"Maybe you can spend Christmas with Lily? Or Mary, or Marlene?" Eilidh suggested, weakly, already knowing her answer would no. They both had too much pride for their own good.
"Aren't you spending Christmas here?" Josie asked, wiping her nose on her sleeve.
"Erm," it was with a great amount of reluctance that Eilidh decided to be honest, "no. I'm spending it with James. And the boys. They have this huge plan that they insisted I join."
"Oh."
It was amazing how much one word, one syllable could hurt so much.
"Maybe there's still time for me to cancel," Eilidh said. "I'm not sure how far they've gone in solidifying their plans - there might be time still."
"No, don't worry about it. I'll be fine." Josie smiled bravely, unable to hold eye contact.
"Will, you at least talk to Lily and everyone about this?" Eilidh pleaded. Josie was worse than she was when it came to dealing with things on her own.
Josie sniffled and clambered to her feet. "Yeah, of course."
Eilidh watched her carefully, trying to figure out what she would do next.
"I'm tired. Think I'll go back to the dormitory and take a nap. Cover for me?" Josie was already out the door before Eilidh could answer let alone stop her.
"Jo!" Eilidh ran after her, looked up and down the empty corridors, then hit the wall, "Fuck!" She ran her hands through her hair, trying to get her thoughts in order so she could figure out what to do. Marlene would already be in class and she was the only one that could talk Josie out of doing something stupid. Mary would be the least helpful so, Lily was her best option right now.
She ran down corridor after corridor, ignoring strange or worried looks, until her lungs burned and her legs grew weak. She had reached the library which was one of many options to find Lily at this point in the day. She glanced down rows and rows of bookshelves but found only random useless faces.
"Whoa, hey. Eilidh!" the voice was instantly recognisable as Sirius's. He was sitting with his friends at the cluster of tables in the far side of the library. Several students shushed him. He ignored him and waved her over. "Are you alright?"
"Have you seen Lily?" she asked.
"What's going on?" James asked, looking confused and concerned - they all did. Eilidh took a deep breath to calm herself so she could put on the appropriate front. Josie would kill her if they found out about this.
"Nothing," Eilidh smiled sweetly, "I just need Lily. It's a girl thing."
"Bullshit," Sirius said.
Eilidh glared at him. He was the last person to call her out on anything with everything he pulled this morning.
"Sirius," Remus warned.
"Just let us help," James said, calmly.
"I can't. It-"
"Let James go with you, he's good in a crisis. The rest of us will look for Lily," Sirius said, gently but leaving no room her to decline.
"I can-" Eilidh started to protest but Sirius brushed her hair out of her face and gently pecked her lips. He walked away briskly with Remus and Peter following, leaving her stunned. "What the hell was that?"
"He's actually good at people-ing sometimes," James shrugged. "So, what's going on?"
"I can't -" she looked at James, remembering every time he was able to calm her down though he barely knew her, remembering how well he understood Sirius and how Sirius, and all his friends really, listened to him. "I don't really know what's going on. It's not the first time this has happened but Josie's really going through some shit."
"Okay," James stood and swung his rucksack over his shoulder. "Where is she?"
"I don't know," Eilidh said, quietly.
"Do you have any ideas? What did she say the last time you saw her?" James questioned.
"She said she was going to the dormitory to take a nap but I know she's not going to do that," Eilidh said, confidently. Josie didn't sleep at all when she was like this.
James nodded and placed a comforting hand on her back. "Maybe she still went there. For some other reason? Or maybe we could find something that will tell us where she went?"
It was feeble but it was the only thing that she had so Eilidh agreed and quickly led the way back to Gryffindor Tower. They darted through the Common Room, Eilidh looking for signs that Josie might have been there. James faltered at the foot of the girls' dormitory steps. Eilidh groaned inwardly, glanced to make sure that the Common Room was empty, then turned to James.
"Swear to me that you will not abuse what I'm about to show you," Eilidh demanded.
James looked confused for a second then, "okay, I swear."
"Solve fasciculos." It was the standard counter-curse that could undo almost any spell. It was no wonder why James's mouth fell open.
"What?" he demanded.
Eilidh rolled her eyes and darted up the steps.
"That was it! You'd think founders would be a little more clever. I mean there must be boys sneaking up here all the time!" James exclaimed.
"Not really. They all think the founders were cleverer than they were," Eilidh said. Everyone had it in their heads that it was some complex spell, it had to be, this was Hogwarts! They had boys transfiguring their bits or polyjuicing into girls just to try to climb up here but it never worked.
Eilidh paused outside her dormitory, scared of finding Josie, scared of not finding Josie, realising now that she had just invited James Potter into Lily Evans's dormitory, realising now that Josie couldn't tolerate James on a good day and he had something of a temper…. This was going to turn out marvellous! She reached out her hand to grasp the door handle.
"Wait!" James said. "What should I expect when we go in there. You know, if she's there."
"Some very typical I need attention teenage rebellion," she said. James nodded and she went to the door again. "Just don't take anything she says personally."
"Okay," he said.
"The important thing is to keep her away from Pevensie and Seligmann and all them, okay?" she said, sternly and clearly.
"Wow okay," James said.
The door handle was ripped from her hand. Josie had swung the door open and was standing with her head cocked to the side in only her pants and a tank top.
"Were you going to come in at any time or were you just going to stand outside the door whispering about me?" she challenged.

"We were planning on coming in. Eilidh thought you'd like to talk to me," James said.
Josie looked him up and down a soft smile playing on her red stained lips. She had clearly been planning on going somewhere and had dramatically changed her hair and her make-up to do so.
"Well, I wasn't planning on staying but you're more than welcome to join me. We won't be doing much talking." Josie laughed as she disappeared into their illegally magically extended wardrobe.
"Josie, it's the middle of the day. Nothing like that's going to be open," Eilidh said. She pinched James before he could open Mary's trunk. "You're not helping," she hissed.
"Okay," he whispered, rubbing his arm. "Hey, Jo? Josephine? Josie? I don't know what you prefer."
"You can call me anything," she smirked, hiding behind the wardrobe wall.
"Yeah, okay. Erm, Eilidh's right, nothing exciting is going to be open right now, so why don't we just hang out here, skive off our classes and head out at sundown when the fun stuff happens," James offered, smirking the kind of smirk that he usually saved for Lily and even running his fingers through his hair.
"Merlin's balls," Eilidh muttered. At the very least she was bound to run into Marlene or Lily before sundown.
"You're right. Besides I'm sure you've never been in a girls dormitory before, this must be exciting for you. That one's Lily's bed, in case you were wondering. I know how fond of her you are," Josie smiled and batted her eyes in an enticing yet threatening way.
Eilidh chuckled softly, proud that her friend wasn't dumb enough to fall for whatever James was trying to pull however desperate she was at the moment.
James laughed nervously. "Right. We'll let you get dressed now."
Josie disappeared into their wardrobe again and Eilidh to the opportunity to punch James's arm as hard as she could. He staggered back a few paces.
"Ow! What the hell, Nicnevin?" he growled.
"What are you doing? I asked you to help me!" she hissed.
"I am helping!" he snarled.
"That was not helping," she said, pointing to the wardrobe, wishing she could wash the image from her eyes.
"Yes, it is, okay. Sometimes it's best to like play into their… stuff. Trust me. I'm best friends with Sirius for a reason," James said.
"Yeah, because you encourage his behaviour!" she said. "Oh my God, what was I thinking."
"No, no… well, yeah but no! Look, there's no way you're going to stop her from getting the attention she wants, just like there's no way you're gonna stop Sirius from getting the adrenaline rush he wants. Its best to give it to them yourself that way you know its safe," James explained and as much as she hated it and as much as it went against everything her head was screaming at her, she felt she was right and she had learned a long time ago to trust her gut over her head.
"Eilidh!" Josie stuck her head out of the wardrobe again. "Do you mind if I borrow some of your clothes?"
"You're going to borrow them anyway, aren't you?" Eilidh asked, smiling bitterly.
"Yes," Josie chuckled and ducked back into the wardrobe again.
"What is she going to find in your clothes that she's gonna want?" James asked, almost condescendingly.
Eilidh turned to face him and crossed her arms over her chest. "Meaning what?"
"Wh- nothing! You're just more of a jeans and t-shirt type and she's in the mood for… I don't know, leather," James said.
"Leather?" Eilidh questioned.
"Hey, I'm a mama's boy, through and through. If you really want to know what she's looking for go ask Sirius," James said.
"Sirius?" Eilidh asked in disbelief. Sirius was too nervous to do anything like that. At least around her, he was.
"He's a Black. He knows things," James shrugged.
"What the hell does that mean?" Eilidh questioned.
"Er, I don't actually know. But he just knows things," he said.
"Sounds like your boyfriend might be a little out of your league, love," Josie said, striding out of the wardrobe. She had borrowed the one pair of jeans that actually fit Eilidh's scrawny legs and her vest which she wore as a shirt paired with Marlene's boots. "So, what are we going to do to kill time?" she grinned.

***Thank you Love Fiction 2018 :)

***It doesn't feel like I've been writing this thing for 2 years (one maybe, but not 2!) Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me from the beginning, thank you to those who started reading yesterday, and thank you to all of you in between :D It's been great and I don't think I would have the courage to continue if it hadn't been for your support.

Much love,

XO