Story: It Is What It Is, Chapter 12.
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA

Happy thanksgiving, Everybody!

I FINALLY got the data off my computer after paying like 350 dollars for a new one and a data transfer, so I got access to the file I needed. I only had a day to come up with some actual content for the dialogue, though, So I hope this isn't too dramatic or rushed, but I swear I tried, yet I couldn't figure out any other way to get to the part that I wanted to, without just explaining what happened before it. ;=;

I hope this chapter is okay, because I truthfully feel like it's probably pretty bad. I just like writing drama-with-a-happy-ending kind of stories, so forgive me.

sincity27 said: As much as l would love a mustang/ Hawkeye living arrangement, I think the Riza flows better for the story

Most of the people who have been reading this story have said that it would be better for Ed and Al to stay with Riza as well (on Ao3 too), so that's probably what I'll go with, at least for the time being.

KittyKatz009 said: Yay! We finally got the reunion! This was a great chapter. I like how Al stood up to her on behalf of Len. I also like the cliffhanger. I feel like Ed telling Al this chapter in public wouldn't go over well, so having them move somewhere else is best.

I think Ed and Al should stay with Riza because they are more comfortable with her and she is more equipped to deal with them. Also with Hayate, he could be an asset since animals can sense distress.
Great job and I can't wait for the next chapter!

I'm glad you liked the chapter! I constantly worry that people get annoyed when I take so long to get to certain points. :w:

And yes, Riza will definitely play a vital role in Edward's recovery in ways that Roy can't, even though Roy and Al will definitely play one as well. I hope you like this chapter! TwT

I'm also questioning whether I should bring Ling in eventually or not, and I'm wondering what to do with the homunculi, if I should do anything? Winry may come in in the next few chapters, or I may hold back on her a bit. Anyway, I hope y'all are enjoying this story and stick with me to the end!

Sur l'histoire ~ (Onto the story)~

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"Al, there's something I... There's something we need to talk about."

Alphonse had always wanted Edward to open up to him, but, now, Alphonse, could only feel dread. It was somehow ironic, really, but, despite wanting to be there for Edward, he had never felt more apart and insecure. What if it was something that he couldn't help him with after all? Without his body, he had most certainly lost certain aspects of his humanity.

But even so, Alphonse refused to leave his brother's side. Even if there were certain things that he couldn't help with, he could at least listen. It was something that he'd always been good at. Besides, it was difficult to know what actions to take if he didn't know what was wrong.

They were standing in Riza's house. Mustang hadn't felt like going straight back to his office and immediately being bombarded with paperwork again, and, for once, Riza felt there was something more important and urgent to deal with right this minute, so she offered to let them go to her place, since it was closer than Mustang's to the station.

A neighbor had been looking after Black Hayate while Riza was gone, but as soon as Riza stepped in the door, the dog was by her side licking her hand. The neighbor soon left after Riza thanked her for looking after him. It was quite evident that Black Hayate was happy to see all of them, as he tried to kiss each one of them.

However, when he went over to Edward, the boy couldn't help feel uncomfortable as the dog began to sniff his non-automail arm. Alphonse noticed it, but didn't think too much at first, until Riza scolded the dog. That's when he wondered if there was something wrong with Edward's arm. Dogs had very keen noses, and Black Hayate had been trained for that kind of thing, so it couldn't be nothing. Or maybe he really was just overthinking it?

After Riza had got Black Hayate situated, she had sat down at the table, him by her side, followed by Roy and Edward. Alphonse opted to keep standing.

The table was silent for a while as Mustang and Riza waited for Edward to speak.

"Edward, isn't there something you should be telling Alphonse right now…?" Riza urged in a soft voice, but she wasn't being condescending.

"I…" Edward trailed off into silence, feeling nervous, and sick to his stomach. He could feel Mustang's eyes on him, expecting him to speak. "Can you promise me something, Al…?"

"What is it?" Alphonse asked in concern.

Edward felt like the words were caught in his throat. He let his bangs shadow his eyes. "Promise you won't hate me…"

Alphonse was immediately taken aback by Edward's request. Edward and him may have occasional disputes, but they always worked things out in the end. So why would Edward say something like that? A small part of him couldn't even help but wonder if this had something to do with his missing body, but he pushed that thought aside.

"What are you talking about? Even if we may disagree on things sometimes, I could never hate you, brother." He said.

At hearing that, Edward felt a pang of guilt.

I've been cutting.

Three simple words and he couldn't say them. Because, together, they would hurt Alphonse, and Edward didn't want that. And on top of that, it would spark up conversation with his brother that Edward wanted to avoid more than anything, but he knew he needed to tell Alphonse, so it would be off his chest and Roy and Riza would be satisfied.

That's when he decided to show Alphonse instead of telling him. It would be much easier anyway, since he'd never been good with words.

So, slowly, he pulled back his sleeve and despite his hesitance, he continued and began unraveling some of the bandages, flinching a bit at the pain. When a fair amount of the cuts were revealed, Alphonse was in disbelief. There were so many of them and they were so deep!

All those times that Edward had said his arm was twisted… this was the truth? He had been lying?

"What… are those?" Alphonse asked, yet a huge part of him didn't want to hear the answer. "Who did that to you?"

Edward felt his blood go cold, as he looked away with guilt. So despite everything, Alphonse really was just a child. He had never thought of the concept of self-harm, before. "I..."

"He's been cutting..." Roy answered simply, knowing that Edward wouldn't be able to bring himself to speak after that, or at least not answer Alphonse's question. But it wasn't like Edward hadn't done enough. Roy actually found respect for Edward for having to the courage to be able to bring himself to show his cuts.

"Cutting...?" Alphonse repeated, before it finally dawned on him what they were trying to say, and what he had missed in his observation of his brother for so long. "You mean... he did that to himself?"

Mustang's and Riza's grim expressions confirmed it. Edward sunk even further in on himself.

"Brother, why didn't you tell me anything...?" Alphonse's voice was weaker than ever, but carried the tone of somebody who felt betrayed.

"Because I couldn't... I was afraid that you would be mad at me..." Edward muttered, even weaker than Alphonse's voice.

"Well, you're damn right I'm mad...!" Alphonse said, a little harsher than intended, catching their attention. Edward's eyes widened with pain. Of course, it wasn't like he hadn't expected it, though. "But I'm not mad over the fact you've been hurting yourself, I'm mad because you lied to me about this, Ed. We're brothers, aren't we? We're supposed to be there for each other! So why didn't you come talk to me for once in your stupid life, instead of simply telling me that you had twisted your arm?"

In truth, Alphonse was less mad, and more frustrated than anything else over having been unable to do anything to prevent things from getting this far. Furthermore, he was scared. Terrified, in fact, of the possibility of finding Edward dead in a pile of his own blood one day. "So is this... my fault...?"

"Of course not, Al...!" Edward insisted. "None of this is your fault...! I just..." He turned his head away to avoid facing any of them. "don't know how to deal with things sometimes... It... helps me…"

"How does tearing your skin to pieces help? You could have died! Or is that what you actually want? To die and leave me on my own? Because that's something I won't allow! We promised we'd get each other our bodies back and stick by each other's side!" Alphonse wasn't usually the most expressive person, but for some reason, he found that he couldn't just drop it. All of the stress that had been piling up over the last few weeks and even months was finally reaching its peak.

Edward felt a worse pang of guilt than before. Alphonse had no clue that Edward actually had almost died. "I'm sorry..."

At hearing Edward's low apology, Alphonse grew silent for a moment, feeling guilty suddenly for snapping at his brother like that, before speaking in a less harsh voice than before. "No, I should be the one apologizing..."

This confused Edward, as he looked up at him with painfilled eyes. "But why? I'm the one who's been hurting myself. You have every right to be upset…"

"Even so, I should have noticed something, before it got this bad... I've known you long enough that I should have been able to prevent it. Yet I never saw how bad you were suffering..." Alphonse looked down, feeling incredibly conflicted. All this time, he had had suspicion that something else was wrong, but he had wanted to trust his Brother's words, yet he had been naïve, and failed to see through his act.

Edward smiled sadly. "You're so kind to people, Al. You always try to keep things cordial even when I'm nothing but I huge jerk. You've always been that way, ever since we were kids. But you're my little brother. I can't just come running to you every time I'm upset about something or every time I get a cut or bruise. Besides, I was the one hiding it from you, you can't blame yourself for that."

"You're wrong, Ed..." Alphonse mumbled. "It doesn't matter which one of us is older. All that matters is that we support each other. I want to be there for you...!"

Edward was silent for a moment as if he was considering his words, before he broke his gaze away from Alphonse, turning his head away.

"...This isn't your burden to bear, Al..." he uttered in a low voice, not able to bring himself to admit reliance on his brother.

Something snapped in Alphonse's mind at this point. Edward was always rushing off and doing reckless things, while trying to bear everything on his shoulders, but this was by far one of the worst decisions he'd ever made. As if he'd allow him to continue down this harmful and reckless path.

"Well, why shouldn't it be? After everything we've been through together, doesn't it mean anything to you? Don't you trust me?!"

"Of course I do!" Edward insisted. "I just..."

"You just what? Because from what I can tell, you don't!" Alphonse snapped.

Black Hayate had began to wine a bit, nuzzling Riza's leg, as he sensed the hostility in the room. It was at this moment that Riza stood up. "That's enough, both of you. I think it would best if you two separated for a bit."

Roy and Riza both understood that Alphonse had needed to get this off of his chest, and that Edward needed to hear that Alphonse was worried about him, not mad at him. However, it was also apparent that Edward and Alphonse both did need some time apart after this, or they would only make things worse. Because she could see error from both of their parts and that things would only get more stressful if she allowed it to continue.

"I need some time alone. I'll be back later." Alphonse simply murmured, turning to leave.

"Wait, Al...!" Edward tried to get up, but Roy reached out, grabbing his hand to stop him.

They exchanged glances, and Roy gave him a look that told Edward to sit back down, and surprisingly he didn't protest.

Alphonse glanced back at him one last time, conflicted, but knew if he stayed, he might say or do something he'd regret. So he simply left the house.

"Edward, are you alright?" Riza asked softly, kneeling down slightly beside him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Edward mumbled, not turning to look at her. The pain in his eyes and voice was obvious.

Riza gave a pained smile. "You don't have to lie, you know…"

Edward, however, didn't respond, obviously still focused on the argument he just had with his brother.

"Hey," she said, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Hm?" Edward briefly glanced at her this time.

"I'm going to talk to Alphonse a bit. I want you to stay here with Roy, okay?"

"Okay…" Edward didn't particularly like the idea of being with Roy alone for long, but decidedly didn't protest.

"No fighting while I'm gone, you two." Riza said.

"Right, I'm sure I can keep from biting Fullmetal's head off for up to at least half an hour." Roy joked.

Edward smirked a bit, albeit incredibly weakly at hearing that.

Riza smirked a bit herself, before heading out after Alphonse.

- End of Chapter

...

A/N: I hope y'all enjoyed that. Ed and Al will make up soon, I promise that Al won't stay 'mad' too long and Ed is just confused, but he'll come around soon enough. Al will definitely be there for Ed when it counts. Anyway, I'd love to hear your feedback, even if it's something as simple as "Really enjoying this! Please update when you can!". And thanks so much to all of my followers and favorites.