DETROIT- HAVERFORD HILLS CEMETERY
08, FEBRUARY 2040 - 00:11:53
-WINTER-
POV: HANK
My ears are ringing loudly in my head, so much that I almost can't hear anything going on around me… not that I really want to. So, for the time being, I sit stiffly on a metal chair placed under an ugly blue pop up tent set up in the city cemetery.
It's raining of course…
Because it always is the day of a funeral.
That's just logic.
A lot of people from the office showed up… not sure why that surprises me…
Connor was a pretty popular guy around there, doing his best to make sure to befriend everyone he possibly could.
Fowler's here, and so is Tina, and Chris, Ben, and a few of the other android officers I never bothered learning the names of. They all have their heads bowed down in silence, quietly waiting for the service to start. It's your standard police issued funeral, complete with a firing squad, flag barriers, and bagpipes. The whole shebang.
Thankfully, given my job title, I can say that I haven't been to many of there types of funerals… maybe three in my whole career and now I can add one more to that list. Two if you wanna get technical.
One funeral for my fellow officer and partner.
And another for my son.
I sigh softly and rub my head, the high pitched squealing of the bagpipes beginning to agitate my injured head. Thankfully I didn't rear-end the other car that badly… no one was hurt. All except me that is, but I hit it just hard enough to give myself whiplash and mild concussion… a busted leg too. But a few months in a neck brace, cast and crutches and suspension from duty won't kill me.
Unfortunately.
I was an idiot for thinking I could actually pull it off this time, but… I guess a tiny part of me (the rational side of my mind, the part Connor wormed his way into influencing) is a little bit relieved that I lived to see another day.
But not for this…
This is the day I wanted to miss the most.
The day I bury another son.
For a while, I'm completely immersed in my thoughts, so much so that I almost don't hear everything go quiet. The bagpipes pull to a screeching halt, the small chatter spoke among the other officers abruptly stops and there's a small gasp split between the crown.
I look up and around to see what brought on the small disturbance.
Who more like.
Markus.
He walks up quietly, trailed by two other androids, a female with reddish brown hair, and a male I recognize as a teaching model.
North and Josh, I think their names are.
The damn Robo Jesus himself shows his face in public, this time without hoards of protesters and anti-android fanatics, just to attend the funeral of the boy who tried to kill him.
What has the world come to?
"Hank, I presume?" he asks in a soft voice as he sits beside me.
We've met once, just barely, a simple hello when I dropped Connor off at the New Jericho building when they were refurbishing the place.
"My name is Markus, I'm one of Connor's friends," he says, extending a hand out to me.
I ignore it.
"I know who you are," I say, trying not to let my voice convey much emotion, "The great revolutionary Markus Manfred, right? Spent a better half of a week trying to persuade Connor outta hunting you down. I gotta say in the long run I'm glad you were able to talk some sense into that head of his".
"Ah… alas, Connor's deviating wasn't entirely my own doing. I merely spoke to him, the rest was up to him".
"Cut the modesty act kid, we all know he crumbled to his knees at the sight of you… I watched all of the marches when you deviated androids with your mind. That boy didn't stand a chance against you".
Markus hums in slight amusement, "I must say he did put up a good fight, but in truth, I doubt he could hurt a fly".
He's not wrong.
That dumb android was close to tears when he accidentally stepped on a snail. The kid didn't want to kill anyone, and just thinking that fucking Cyberlife forced him to potentially harm others… hurts.
Thankfully, he never had to fire his gun on the job…
But during the Revolution?
Hell, I don't think that kid would have ever forgiven himself for the lives he took on the night he deviated.
I will never forget the time I found Connor curled up on the floor of the living room, shaking and shivering, eyes wide and nearly bloodshot as he desperately rocked himself back and forth in place. He looked like a child, small and helpless…
/\
"I killed them," He'd said, tone cold and robotic, "I killed them, Hank".
"Who?" I'd asked.
"The guards at Cyberlife… I killed them,".
"That wasn't your fault… you were doing what needed to be done to save the Revolution," I tried to reassure him.
"They had families, Hank… wives, a husband… c- children".
He stuttered... something I've never heard nor expected to hear from the android.
"It wasn't your fault," I said again, not really having much more of an argument.
"I wasn't even thinking when I did it… I should have stunned them. I could have saved them too… they didn't deserve to die".
"They would have killed you, Connor… it was something that had to be done".
"Stop trying to justify the fact that I'm a murderer, Hank!" Connor had basically screamed, causing Sumo to bark in annoyance, "I am a murderer,".
"Connor…" I say, trying to hold the android's trembling head in my hands.
He pushes me away.
"No,".
"Connor, look at me".
"Please… no," he said, shaking his head.
"You're not a murderer,".
"But I am! I killed them, I got the deviant on the roof killed, I got the deviant in the interrogation room killed… a- and I almost killed Markus".
I said it again, stern and hard.
"You are not a murderer, you understand me?! All those other time, all those time? That wasn't you, okay? That was Cyberlife… not you, you're Connor… not Cyberlife".
Connor closed his eyes and seemingly choked on a non-existent sob.
"Now tell me, tell me who you are, what you do and where you are,".
A grounding exercise… to help him relax.
He cleared his throat.
"My name is Connor, I'm the-... I'm an android officer that works for the DPD. I am a detective, my partner is Lieutenant Hank Anderson. He is my caretaker, I live with him and his dog Sumo in Detroit, Michigan. It is currently 4:13 AM, on June 23, 2039. I am currently on the floor of your house, suffering from what I understand is a nightmare induced panic attack, you are attempting to comfort me. I am safe".
I can't help but roll my eyes at the complexity behind his words. "Kid… tell me your name again, right this time… I didn't pay 300 bucks for a piece of paper and nothing else from it".
Connor chuckles and nods, steadying his breath.
"My name is Connor Anderson… I am your son".
\/
We're quiet again, for a few moments, listening as the bagpipe players slowly get over themselves and continue playing, the officers returning to their chatter.
"How are you doing, Hank. In all seriousness?".
I sigh, and rub my temples, growing tired of being asked that question.
"My son is dead, I totaled my car, I'm injured and everyone keeps asking if I'm okay. Aren't you 'droids supposed to be smart?".
That earns a sharp hiss from the North girl, and she opens her mouth to say something, but Markus silences her by raising a hand.
"That… was a rather stupid question, Lieutenant. I'm just trying to help… in a way, I understand your pain".
"The hell you do," I snap again, not exactly wanting to lose my cool, but that comment irks me to no end, "You have no idea what pain I'm going through".
"I lost my father late last year. His name was Carl Manfred, the painter. He was one of the only humans at the beginning that wanted me to have my own free will, he is part of the reason we are all free. And I lost him… I lost the person I lived for, the person who made me the man I am today. So yes, in a way, I believe I do understand your pain".
I shut my mouth, immediately feeling even shittier for getting upset.
"I-... fuck. I- didn't know. I'm… sorry for your loss?".
"It's quite alright," Markus says, taking a breath, the topic of his father's death seeming still painful for him to remember, "And thank you, I miss him greatly but I know part of Carl is always with me".
Oh… always with that bullshit.
*sigh*
I don't get why that's always the default thing to say when people lose someone close to them, just say that 'they're still with you'.
No…
No, they're not.
Connor is dead.
Cole is dead.
I'm alone.
And that's that.
"Thanks, I guess," I mutter grimly, shifting slightly in my seat, deciding to change the subject, "So uh… these two your bodyguards?".
The Josh boy snickers, but North looks annoyed as if it's the only emotion she knows how to show.
"We're here per Markus's request," Josh says, "I hope that's alright".
"'S fine kid. Just surprised Robo Jesus is here for an officer's funeral,". The one he almost killed, I add silently in my head.
"Connor was my friend. He was a friend to all of us… without him, the Revolution would have never succeeded. He freed an entire building full of androids. I'm just paying my respects to a fallen soldier".
"Don't call him a soldier," I hiss softly, "He's not fucking a soldier… he was just a kid, he doesn't deserve to be remembered as a fucking soldier, he should be remembered as a kid who gave his life to save others,".
All three androids fall silent, almost in shame.
Good, I think.
Let them sit in it and fester.
Maybe they'll think twice before calling my son a soldier.
"Listen, Henry," North says, the first to speak up.
"It's Hank".
She rolls her eyes and groans.
"Listen, Hank, Connor may not have been a soldier, but he was a fighter, and nobody can deny that. But his gonplei ste odon, his fight is over. Let's remember Connor for what he has done, not what he hasn't".
I stay silent, not exactly sure why she started speaking another language (let alone from that one show we shall not speak of), but in the end I know she's right. I know… after this, I'm going to have to try and move on again. But this time there's no one to help me through it.
I'm just about to open my mouth, say something about it being impossible to not think about all the things he'll never do, when Fowler walks up onto the podium, the mic getting feedback that squeaks through the speakers.
"May I have your attention please," he says, clearing his throat, "Today we are here to remember and commemorate the life of Connor Anderson, a wonderful officer, detective, and friend to all of us. Let us bow our heads in a moment of silence".
So that's what everyone does.
Except, me… not exactly being the type for praying and religion.
If anything I'm cursing at whoever the fuck is up there for taking both of my sons away from me.
"For years leading up to the Revolution last November, most of society viewed androids as disposable, replaceable machines. Here at the DPD, Connor changed all our minds about that. He proved himself not only to be an excellent officer but a kind and caring individual who cares and looks after all his fellow officers".
That's a bit of an understatement.
I don't know how many times that kid did overtime just so that some of the rookies didn't drop dead from sheer exhaustion, 'Mr. I don't need sleep'. Hell, I think Chris even let him babysit his kid while he and his wife went out for a date night.
People trusted him.
His co-workers respected him.
The rookies looked up to him.
The other android officers aspired to be like him.
Connor brought out the best in people.
"It was a tragedy when we discovered his passing," Fowler says.
You mean, murder.
"And I know all of us are saddened and grieving, so if you need to talk… please refer to the grief counselor on staff. She's here to help you".
I can't help but feel that last bit was directed at me.
These officers are strong, Connor's passing shouldn't affect them as badly as it is me.
"And now there are a few officers here who would like to say their final goodbyes," Fowler says, gesturing to a somber-looking Chris as he walks up to the podium. He smiles softly and half-heartedly, eyes looking down upon the wooden casket that holds the android in question.
"Uh… hi," Chris says, removing his cap, "I'm Chris… one of Connor's friends. Uh, he... he was a great guy, kind and friendly with everybody, even with those who didn't even deserve his attention. It… took a while for me and some others to warm up to the idea of an android being a higher rank without exactly earning it but… the kid was a hell of a lot more talented than any of us expected. I… I'll miss 'em, heh. We all will".
He finishes, everyone claps and another officer takes his place.
Tina this time, she talks about how she'll miss being able to gossip and chat about things happening around the office and with her wife.
She finishes, everyone claps and another officer takes her place.
Mike.
I haven't seen much of him since the Revolution, but all I know is that Connor had saved him long before the Android and I met. On Connor's first mission in fact… the one he… failed.
"He saved my life," Mike says, "I… I kinda wish I was able to save him, ya know… return the favor".
Me too, Kid, I think to myself, Me too.
I clear my throat and try to focus on what's going on but I can't even will myself to put in the effort.
I zone out as officer after officer lines up and says something kind and wholesome about Connor… then, pretty soon, it's my turn to speak.
"And finally, we have Lieutenant Hank Anderson, Connor's father, here to say a few final words," Fowler says, gesturing over to me.
I hadn't gotten anything prepared, I hadn't even thought about doing anything considering I didn't think I'd even be attending given what I was trying to do a few weeks ago.
"I'll help you up," Markus says, seeing my struggle to get up with my crutches, but I shoot him a look and he sits down, raising his hands up in defeat, "Alright…".
With that, I struggle to my feet and hobble up to the podium, half wanting to take the mic from Fowler and chuck it across the vast yard. But… I just think of what Connor would say if he were here (which would be a paradox considering this is his funeral) he'd want me to act civil and respectful, pay respect with honor and class.
So… for his sake… that's what I do.
People clap, and the mic gets feedback once I begin to speak.
Then… all is quiet.
I'm standing right in front of the coffin, it's open of course… not much to hide since they were able to fix up the damaged areas… but not the bi-components. So there's lies perfectly still and pristine in the wooden box, his LED silent and still.
He looks almost human.
I would argue that he is.
Connor is dressed in is Cyberlife suit as opposed to his police uniform, except it's stripped of its logos, armbands and I.D markers. He's just a normal kid being buried in his best Sunday suit.
I tear my eyes away from him, knowing the longer I stare the harder it's going to be to continue.
Don't cry, Hank.
You've gotta stay strong…
It's almost over…
"I never thought I'd live to see the day where I'd be attending a funeral for an android, let alone one I'd come to call my son," I begin leaning heavily against the casket. "I can't begin to tell you how many times this dumb bastard got himself shot to shit, always trying to be a hero".
And a hero he was … he just… took it too far this time.
"When… *sigh* when Connor first came to the DPD, I wanted nothing to do with him. Hell, I even threatened to kill 'em once. But the kid wasn't fazed, not entirely… I- I think all he ever wanted was to belong, fit in, have a place to call his own. Have the one thing he wanted the most be was denied at all turns. And he wanted that from me… me of all fucking people. Heh,".
The chuckle is dry and cold, not my usual sarcastic, smart-ass remarks.
"But the damn 'droid grew on me, got me out of a bad place simply because he cares… he cared about a washed up, angry, depressed, suicidal scumbag like me… because he could. And that's that… Connor he just-".
The mic squeals again as I cough and force out a sob
It's not voluntary, and everyone seems put off by it.
"That was Connor, he wanted to help people… even at the cost of his own life".
Keep it together…
Keep it together…
But I know I can't.
"He just wanted to protect me, and I couldn't protect him… and I'm his dad!".
Another harsh chuckle escapes my lips.
"He saved me so many times… and I just wish I able to return the favor!"
Fall Apart
Fall Apart
Fall Apart
Fall Apart
Fall Apart
And just like that… everything comes crashing down.
"I couldn't protect him…".
Tears make themselves present in my eyes and Fowler takes the mic before I drop it. "Go sit down, Hank. It's okay… you don't have to say anything else".
I shoulder him away, completely numb to everything else around me. Shellshock might be a good word for what I'm experiencing or all the grieve that I've been bottling up for the past few weeks. I hardly realize it, but I stumble over to him and grip his shoulder, my vision blurred by salty tears.
"I didn't even get the chance to tell my boy I loved him… after everything, he did for me… I couldn't even tell him his dad loved him".
I'm weak… so weak.
Pathetic...
To think that I could never tell Connor, my adopted son but son all the same, that me, his own fucking father, loved him… tears me up inside.
Did he know?
Was it just an unspoken thing between us?
I mean… Connor himself had said it a few times, I teased him saying that I know and that he was sappy and a goofball, but did he know I meant it back?
I'll never find out.
Markus has gotten up now to try and help pull me away from Connor's casket, like a child being dragged away from the candy aisle.
"It's okay, Hank… just settle down" Markus says, a firm hand on my back, "Just let it go".
God... how many fucking times have I been told that over the years.
That it's going to be okay.
It's not…
It never will be.
So I give up and accept the inevitable, that after this… the finality of Connor's death.. Nothing is ever going to be okay again.
People don't clap when I step down, the look more disturbed than anything else. Perhaps it's because I tend to not show much emotion, and I just broke down in front of all my co-workers, they all got a glimpse at the broken man I truly am inside.
In a few moments, I'm back in my seat, silent tears falling from my eyes as Markus tries to comfort me, but everything has gone numb around me.
The service continues… and the only reason I acknowledge any time passing is the gunshots that rip through the air above us.
The Firing Squad.
A high honor for a detective, an android at that.
The shots goes off and I close my eyes and flinch.
I watch Connor die over and over in my head, a spray of blue blood filling the air when the gun goes off, Derik pulling the trigger.
The bastard was DOA once he got to the hospital, I wasn't sorry… I'm still not. He got what he deserved for killing my son, and Gavin got suspended for twice as long as me for endangering the life of an officer, so good riddance to him too.
I'm just glad HR didn't give me too much shit for shooting the guy in the first place, he had just shot my partner and was still a threat to others.
But for some stupid fucking reason, Gavin's words ring in my head.
"You know what you should cry over? The fact that you almost killed that little girl's father right in front of her eyes. She's probably traumatized cause of it,"
She's safe now… the little girl.
But part of me knows Gavin's right.
I took this little girl's father away, just like he took away my son.
Ironic isn't it…
"An eye for an eye and the world goes blind," I say blankly, watching as the casket is lowered into the ground.
"But what is the world now if people were taken for no other reason than an accident? Fate, perhaps? What then?".
Markus looks at me, confused at first and I know he's scanning me… he has the same look Connor gave me whenever I was acting out of it.
Concern.
"We move on,".
xXx
The service ends, people cry and say goodbyes and give me condolences.
Fowler gives me a look as if to say, hang in there.
I ignore him and continue with my sulking.
Markus and the others help me up despite my wishes against it, wanting to be left alone… especially after everything.
"Why the fuck are you even here, Markus?" I hiss, honestly finding it even more difficult to move when I have two androids on my side tugging me forward whilst on a bad leg.
He pauses.
"What?" he asks, eyebrows furrowing for a moment, "What do you mean? Connor was my friend, of course, I'm going to attend his funeral,".
"Why though? 'Cause for a while there it seemed like Connor was scared of you,".
He laughs a little but stops when he sees the seriousness of my tone and face. "Why would he be scared of me, despite our past, I wouldn't hurt him… or even consider doing anything of the sort".
"None of us would," Josh adds.
"Okay… so why did he come home one night, nearly crying, saying how he messed up things between him and Jericho… something to do with the death of a deviant before the Revolution".
Connor didn't say much about what happened (other than what I already knew) so I didn't pry, knowing that his stress levels were high enough as it was.
Everyone goes still for a moment, Markus's expression growing almost dark and the others look away completely.
"Simon," he mutters, letting go of me and gesturing for Josh to do the same.
"The android at Stratford Towers?" I ask, grabbing the crutches from North.
He nods.
"I see now what you mean now. *sigh*. When he told me what had truly happened to Simon after we left Simon on the roof, and… how he'd used Simon as a tool to find Jericho, I was livid. I had good reason to, despite this being actions done by pre-deviant Connor, he was aware of what he'd done and why".
I have to physically hold myself back from beating the shit outta this fucking android. Connor didn't have a choice, he didn't know what he was doing was wrong, back there on that roof was the first time he ever felt, and it was utter terror.
FEAR.
Connor didn't pull the trigger.
He was simply going along with what he was told was right the entirety of his short life up until that point. He was doing anything to survive, knowing that if he failed, he'd be killed, dismantled and replaced.
People will do anything in the name of self-preservation.
"What did you do to my son…" I ask in a hushed, enraged tone.
Markus swallows.
Nervous…
He's nervous…
Good.
"I… I'd told him that his services were no longer required by New Jericho and that he was not to return to the facility unless I gave him specialized permission".
"It… was not a unanimous decision, but Connor had left before anyone was able to talk to him," Josh says, giving the other android the side eye.
"The others at Jericho… they had been less accepting of Connor's integration into our society. Most still saw him as 'The Deviant Hunter', that was the name he made for himself in their eyes," North explains, a small sense of guilt coating her voice, "I admit that at one point I had been one of them, but he was trying to fit in,".
"What happened, what did you do to my son?!" I snap again.
Everyone is quiet for a moment before answering.
"We're not sure… but we assume that some of the others caught word of what happened to Simon and, uh… tried to take matters into their own hands".
"We had found spots thirium around the parking lot a while after he left… it matched Connor's".
I furrow my eyebrows angrily, reaching forward and grabbing the tall android by the jacket, "You're telling me your people beat up my son for something that wasn't his fault?".
Markus gently pulls my hands away from him, "We're not sure… once things cooled down between us and I allowed Connor to return, I asked if anything had happened that night, and he said no… I didn't push him for an answer".
"Unbelievable… un-fucking-believable," I mutter, "Aren't you all about protecting androids 'n shit? Wasn't that the whole point of the fucking Revolution?!".
"What happened was out of our control, Hank. The most we were able to do was find the androids and enstate a punishment," Markus reassures me as if that's supposed to make me feel better.
"Oh, and Connor was in control of what happened to that Simon fella? Was Connor the one who pulled the trigger on the gun that killed your friend?! No… he wasn't. Whether you want to hear it or not, Simon killed himself, not Connor," I yell, quickly losing my temper if I haven't already, "Life isn't fair to good people, kid. I thought you of all people would understand that".
I sulk off before anyone can say anything, Markus letting out an aggravated exhalation of breath, clearly having not wanted to hear what I had to say.
But I could care less.
He doesn't follow me, nor do any of the other androids.
I just want to go home, be alone with my dog and drink away the world.
I just want the pain to stop…
Deep down I know it won't, because like I said before, Life isn't fair to good people.
But I'm not a good person…
So maybe, just maybe… I deserve this.