AN: Big attention! I highly recommend going back and reading the first couple chapters. A lOT of re-work and additional detail was added.(Not anything specifically story changing, but it helps better explain the story.) I also fixed a ton of typos.

But anyway, enjoy.

xXx

Gaara is getting his first tattoo.

And I promise it's more of milestone than it sounds, because it's his own hands that guide the needle.

Of course an inexperienced artist probably shouldn't begin practice with themselves. But a first for decorating the body in ink, as well as being the one to do it, seemed fitting. Bringing a needle so close to skin, to stab and repeat. As consistent as this new scar would be. He'd never done this before, and he'd never planned on doing it again.Tattoos were too permanent for his taste, but everything else in his life seemed so fleeting. Like the shock he felt when he realized he'd lost actual months of his life in a split second of bliss. Drowned deep in Sakura's trance.

He'd been on his way to find her moments ago, but then he realized he wasn't quite sure where to start. So instead he started with himself. He couldn't find the strength to hate himself for being so uncontrollably ignorant, so he decided to love himself instead. The only consistent thing in his life.

He's not exactly sure how he ended up in front of his bathroom mirror, and even more unsure how he'd gotten the tattoo gun in the first place. But all of that didn't much matter right now. The kanji for love would adorn his head like a constant reminder. Not of love for himself in particularly. But perhaps of the love it might take, and the lengths you must go to love yourself. If maybe one day he looked in the mirror and lost his will, there's a constant reminder looking back at him to keep the love for life, his life, intact.

And should he forget months of his life again?... The self written message wasn't going anywhere. This was the kind of anchor he needed. You can say what you want about tattoos, scars even, but at least they don't leave.

The real irony being that he seemed to be leaving himself oh so often lately.

xXx

"Well that's new." Sakura laid a feathered touch to Gaara's forehead and he instinctively winced away in pain.

"Holy…" she held a hand over her mouth in shock. "That's real?!"

"Yeah… I guess it is."

When he spoke, the gentle crease of his forehead reminded him of the fresh pain he'd just endured. But more importantly he realized, he was here again. Face to face with what he could only assume had been causing his mental torment. One minute he'd been cringing in no small amount of agony as he jabbed into his own flesh and the next he was back at the café. Smiling at her the way only she could make him do.

The contrast was maddening, but still, he smiled.

"It was kind of an impulse sort of thing." The decision seemed dramatic now that he thought about it. He couldn't seem to remember what had him so worked up in the first place? In this very moment everything seemed fine. Whatever catastrophic trigger of the anxiety he felt minutes (or he supposed hours) ago, seemed to dissipate.

"Oh don't worry." Sakura got up to leave her side of the table, instead moving next to him in the cramped booth seat. Her arm cradled around his and she could feel him stiffen and melt into her all at the same time. "I like my boys with a little extra personality." A kiss on his cheek followed her ever steadily increasing attention.

'When did we?...'

"You mean you don't mind?" A face tattoo was pretty major by any means, and his little self project wasn't exactly modest in size. So Sakura's quick expectance of his change was a bit unexpected.

'When did we get so close ?'

"Gaara…" She leaned in to kiss him once more, but instead teased the edge of her lips just beneath the ear. "I have pink hair, I'm paler than cream, and would you just look at these?" Sakura's gaze bolted down at her own chest as she did her best to wedge Gaara' s arm in-between were her cleavage would be.

If she had any.

"I mean honestly They're perky and all, but they're so tiny! But hey." Her eyes met his again and she could feel the heat radiating off of him as his eyes tried to dart any and everywhere else. "I'm still enough to make you blush. So please, as long as your happy. I'm happy. Yeah?"

"Yeah…"

It was strange feeling that settled on the boy. With the mess of emotions and blending experiences, Gaara was glad to find there were little plots in his daily madness that had obviously been soothed by Sakura, bringing them to this very comfortable position.

Sakura used her free hand to trace crescent like swirls on his chest. "You seem a little stressed today." She said solemnly, frowning as her hand glided to his abdomen and continued her soothing pattern there." And you're getting so skinny! You need to eat more." He turned to see the pout on her face and knew better than to argue.

"Yes ma'm."

The smooth touch turned into a sharp jab at his shoulder. "Don't sass me!"

The laugh they shared was short, but it felt genuine. The way everything seemed to be feeling today. His laugh felt real, and instead of ethereal, she looked real. And perhaps most importantly, this felt real.

An anxiety ridden teenage author and what he could only understand to be a pink-haired ghost, were cuddled up together in a cafè booth having coffee together.

And maybe that's not as strange as it sounds.

Gaara found himself easing into her touch. It'd surprised him at first, but something about feeling her there reminded him that Sakura wasn't just some delusion. And that the riot of pink right next to him was there to stay. He can't really recall when their bond became this… comfortable. But a feeling deep inside him told him not to pursue that topic.

To maybe never pursue that topic.

'Just live in the now Gaara.'

It made him smile. Even if he couldn't remember much of how it developed. It felt right, and he supposed that's all that really mattered.

"Does your new tattooing 'hobby' mean you're going to ditch me again?"

Odd that yesterday was the only day he'd actually remembered in completion. The only day he assumed that he hadn't seen her in a very long time. Probably since school started.

He tried not to think about that.

It's important to note that Gaara hadn't been looking at her. His head rested back comfortably against the booth wall, eyes fluttering open and shut as he found peace in the moment. But when she posed that question he could feel the venom in it. He dared to look over at her again while a shiver ran down his spine. He could feel the grip around his arm squeeze a bit demandingly, and the heat of her touch drop ever so lightly. A beauty spoke but he could swear he felt frost next to him.

But when he turned to face her, he only saw a warm smile just short of dripping with sweetness.

"I'll see you after class." He gulped down the fear and put on a smile.

"Promise?" There it was again, that feeling of something dreadful lived in her words.

"Promise."

"Here." Sakura folded a small note in her hands and shoved it into his pants pocket. "Same place. Be there."

She pulled his face close to hers, the cool of her hands on the base of his neck did nothing to soothe the heat rising up from his core and into his face at the closeness of her. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the still bare part of his and he felt himself begin to cool.

She was so close and so very still.

With each breath Gaara took he could see the subtle movement of her hair as it made way for him. With each breath she pulled in closer, not seeming to care who saw as she climbed gracefully onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, his own hands finding their way to her hips to help her up.

And with each breath. Gaara became increasingly aware, of the lack of Sakura's.

xXx

"Nice of you to join us Mr. Sabaku."

"Sorry sir, I know I'm running a bit late." Gaara stumbled in rather late, having lost track of time with the pinkette at the café.

"Hm." Kakashi gave him a once over and returned to his board.

Gaara traced the room for his normal classmates but only found Menma in the rear of the classroom. He took his seat and tried to look engaged as he fished through his bag for his computer.

"Where's your brother?" He whispered, finding his computer and pulling up his notes from classes prior. To his assumption, they were there. Typed out hastily in his own style of shorthand, though he couldn't really recall taking them.

"What am I? His keeper?" The boy groaned.

"Well someone's grumpy."

"Nah, someone just pissed me off." Menma bothered to sit up straight considering someone was actually addressing him. A small scowl mirroring his current feelings.

Gaara raised a hairless brow at the boy. Sure he came off as a bit rude, but Gaara hadn't imagined him to be the type to be easily frustrated by anybody. Or any thing for that matter.

"Who-"

"Mr. Sabaku. I understand this is your world, and we all just happen to be living in it, but please. May I continue teaching my class?" The question hung in there air a lot more coldly the Gaara thought possible. Kakashi didn't seem like the disciplinary type, his painfully carefree attitude indicative of that.

"Sorry sir. It won't happen again." Gaara promptly took his seat next to Menma, who seemed to be unfazed by Gaara's abrupt embarrassment.

A scoff could be heard from the front row as a very amused looking Sasuke turned back around in his seat to pay attention to Kakashi's dull lecture. And he couldn't help but notice the scattered stares of a few of his classmates as they too gave him a lingering look.

"People are going to look at you a little funny when you go tatting up your face ya know." Menma grumbled out more as a statement than a question.

"Not like its any of their fucking business."

Gaara was irritated. That emotion was a bit foreign to him, but he'd never really been one to play nice when outed by others and the heat was beginning to burn beneath the skin. He could feel his brow crease as he starred daggers around the lecture room. First at anyone whose gaze still wandered his way, and then at Kakashi. Since when did he care?

'And then there's that cocky prick Uchiha.'

He dared to laugh at him? When he'd never even met the guy?

"I'll show him."

"Hm?" Menma jolted awake at the sudden words of Gaara. Who had up until now had been stewing silently in his chair, the fierce tap of his pen being the only thing to indicate he was even alert.

"He said he'll show em, Menma. I know Kakashi is a bore, but try to stay awake for once..." A voice from Gaara's right said.

" Naruto? When'd you get here?" Gaara questioned. He himself had only made it with thirty minutes left of class, it'd bare no benefit for Naruto to come in even later.

"What do you mean get here? We we're just talking before Kakashi put you on blast."

Gaara turned back to his left to find the black haired boy absent. But before he could address it, his text tone started blaring. A theme of triplet digital sounds playing three times in succession. The particularly quiet class turned once more to look in Gaara's direction, the source of the noise.

"God damnit!" Gaara bit out, cursing under his breath as he scrambled to silence his phone.

"Ahem."

Kakashi folded his arms to stare down Gaara once more in front of the class.

"Kindly exit my class for the day Mr. Sabaku. You're clearly to busy too busy to be absorbed in any information I have to-"

The school bell rang before Kakashi could continue, the older man let out a deep sigh as the class started to completely empty in seconds.

"Fine. Everyone leave I suppose." Kakashi slumped his chair, cradling his hand in one hand to soothe a growing headache. Gaara took the distraction for all it was worth and bolted out of the room with everyone else. Frantically fishing for his phone on the way out. His body felt fatigued by the mistreatment of that past few months, the weight of his book bag proved to be too much as he stopped in the courtyard, baring against a cement wall to catch his breath. He finally found his phone in the front pocket of his bag.

But his labored breaths only hastened as he was finally able to check the messages he'd received.

Unknown: I thought I told you not to question her. Now look at you, wasting away. Pathetic.

'How does he know what I've been up too?'

Another text came through before Gaara could even decide what to respond.

Unknown: Thay anger you're feeling inside? It's all your fault. Should've talked to Sasuke like I told you too.

Gaara's hands grew cold. The grip on his bag had turned stark white and before he knew he'd tossed it at the glass display case across from him, a high pitched smack caught the attention of a few passing students, but most tallied the outburst up to be a common fit of college stress.

"I don't even know what I've been up too!" Gaara was seething. He made to punch into the glass with clenched fist but an arm yanked him back.

"Hey, freak! What the fuck are you doing to my school?" A rough hand turned him around to face the offending voice.

"What's it to you?!- oh.." Gaara's trembling stilled. He looked into the eyes of Sasuke Uchiha and he noticed the supercilious grin on his disgustingly suave face.

"Forgotten our manners now have we, Homeschool?" Sasuke pushed Gaara with no small amount of force. Causing the smaller boys head to bang against the glass. A sickening crunch accompanied Gaara's yell of pain as blood rushed down the back of his skull.

"Awh, gross! Now you've gone and got your filthy blood all over my grandfathers memory!"

The case in question was one of many around the school. A collective memorial of some of schools finer accomplishments. Sports trophies, artwork of the schools many gifted alumni, and in the center of each glass casing laid a picture of the schools founding fathers.

Hashirama Senju, and the late Great Grandfather of Sasuke Uchiha. Madaara Uchiha.Whose likeness currently had red splatter where his face should be. Gaara attempted to stand from the semi-collapsed display and was met with a stiff hand to his fresh tattoo, knocking him into the scattered glass.

"Agh!" Gaara clutched at his forehead only to find glass in his palm. As well as randomly scattered everywhere else from his fall.

" 'love' huh? What a fucking loser." The Uchiha began to walk off, throwing one more comment over his shoulder. "Clean this shit up, and get the hell out of my town homeschool. You're not welcome here…"

"Don't call me that." Gaara stood up with the assistance of his now one good hand. And Sasuke halted, certain that he'd heard the boy wrong.

"I'm sorry, what'd you just say to me?" His exit would have to wait, he turned on his heel and closed the gap between the two of them, two angered hands pulling the read headed freak to eye level. The courtyard was empty. Gaara could feel the waves of loathing seeping from the Uchiha, but his own rage festered slowly in the knuckles of his fist and he felt each one crack as he matched the fiery stare Sasuke was trying to burn through his skull.

'This kind of anger is unbecoming of me…' He thought to early that day. And whom had actually made his day ten times better. The pink haired beauty that seemed to make everything better. And the only one who was allowed to call him by that ridiculous nickname. He took a deep breath before he loosened his grip. He brought his hands calmly to Sasuke's and wrenched them from his collar with a swift jerk of Sasukes wrist in the inverted direction. Sasuke doubled back at the sharp sensation, cradling each hand under the pits of his arms.

"Ugh! You'll pay for that homeschool-"

"Only Sakura can call me that." Gaara busied himself by dusting himself off and picking at the shards of glass that had made their way into his left hand and forearm. "So I suggest you-"

Gaara was met with a heavy elbow to his abdomen. A dry heave produced nothing as the redhead gasped in pain and collapsed to the floor.

"H-how do you know her name?" Sasuke a expression had shifted from anger to desperation on command. He hoisted Gaara up to his knees and shook him for answers."Answer me! How the hell do you know that girls name?!"Sasuke wasn't sure why he'd been so triggered. In reality Gaara could've spoken of any girl named Sakura. But something told him to dig deeper.

So he continued to shake. His eyes wide and frantic with hysteria.

"Sakura Haruno. Is precious to me." Gaara's head was as bit dazed at the sudden lack of air, but he managed to gasp out an answer.

"Sakura Haruno huh?" Sasukes calm shock seemed to settle the frantic act as he released the boy. Standing up only to stare through Gaara rather than at him.

'Maybe I should ask him. This has already been a hell of a first impression as it is…' Gaara breathed slow and heavy as he pressed against his bruised abdomen in hopes of bringing his pain down. 'This asshole sure can hit.'

"She was amazing, wasn't she-"

"Sakura Haruno. Was a lying. Manipulative. Whore. I don't know what kinda sick joke you think your pulling, but she's dead, and as far as I'm concerned?" Sasuke turned once more to leave. Shoving his throbbing hands into his jean pockets as he turned his back on Gaara. "She can rot in Hell. She'd eat naïve little bastards like you just to get my attention. What a waste of space."

Sasukes steps echoed like thunder. Thunder in the brewing storm that swelled beneath the skin of Gaara's raging hatred. He could feel himself dig his injured hand through the shattered display case and reach for something.

Anything.

His hand pulled back a dense, bronze miniature bust of Hoshirama Senju. He watched himself almost as if third person as his world turned red. Sasuke's limp form beneath him turned red as Gaara's flailing hands swung the weight of a bronze statue that quickly began to drip a darker red. And then almost as if all at once, the bloody world went black.

And then pink.

"Oh now look at what you've done dear. You've gone and made a mess."

Gaara tried to focus on his new environment. The rage he felt was still fresh as he instinctively made to swing once more, only to be stopped by an icy glare.

'When did I?...'

Sakura's look portrayed disappointment and frustration. She occupied herself with calmly running a warm wet cloth against Gaara's face. No regard for the raised fist that had almost caved her face in.

"I mean honestly. Look at all this blood!" The cloth dabbed repeatedly against his neck. And then his chest…. And his arms and shoulders. The boy had been covered from the waist up in blood. "And for what? What exactly?! Some boy?" Sakura continued to dab away at the blood, some of it still fresh as dribbles ran down from his face, down his chin, and into the growing puddle beneath him.

"And that boy of all people..."

He's sure her nagging persisted but Gaara spaced out to take in surroundings. Which happens to resemble any other dorm room he'd ever seen. Save the over all barren atmosphere, the complete lack of anything besides a desk lamp, a single chair that Sakura occupied, and the standard issue bed that Gaara found himself sitting on. His face pulled forward by a delicate, icy grip.

'This must be where I've been going everyday.'

"But for what it's worth, I'm glad he's dead. And all over little ol' me? How sweet."

"W-what? How?" Gaara strained to remember his meeting with Sasuke, but all he could keep invision was the red blackout that transpired in its place.

But Sakura didn't have any intention of answering him anyway.

"Hush." Her lips found his before he could ramble anymore doubts and Gaara swore he could feel all the heat leave his body. Pouring out more and more as he matched the ferocity of her kiss. With each bite of his lip he could feel his body chill. Every lash of the tongue he could feel himself losing sensation in his body, starting at his toes and creeping it's way up to his chest cavity were his racing heartbeats almost crashed to a steady halt when her tongue wrapped itself around his and in between her moans he felt only pleasure in her ecstasy as his brain began to fog.

What a fine line between bliss and death.

xXx

Thanks for reading guys. Thoughts on what happened? Typos? Criticisms? Leave a comment and let me know.

-Sober T