Chapter 5

Months had passed. Callie no longer stopped by Arizona's apartment for sex. She would drop Sofia off herself though. Callie was also going to be working more, she had big plans for her research. So she and Arizona had talked about finding a babysitter through an agency that way Sofia wouldn't always have to be stuck in daycare. Arizona didn't know much more about what was going on with Callie. She didn't know where they stood.

"Uh. So this one, Jo, looks like she might be good. She sounds responsible, is CPR/First Aid certified, and a pre-med student," Arizona said while reading off a resume that the nanny agency had sent them. They had many to get through, but this person sounded promising.

Callie was starring at Arizona. They were currently sitting in one of the conference rooms at the hospital. It was a sunny day outside, and the windows were letting in enough sunlight that the rays of light were bouncing off of Arizona's hair. She looked angelic.

"Callie?" Arizona said. Callie looked out of it.

"Uh. Yeah, she sounds good," Callie said flustered as she took the resume from Arizona, giving it another once over. She was actually very impressed with this person's resume, so perhaps they were ready to call up references.

"Are you alright?" Arizona asked concerned.

"Yeah," Callie said while standing up. Arizona stood up as well, and Callie didn't realize how close they were until she turned around. "Um, I- I can call the agency, and ask about Jo's references. Give them a call? Then we can talk about setting up an interview?" Callie asked.

"Yeah, okay," Arizona said suddenly very nervous. She was noticing the way Callie was looking at her, the way Callie kept looking at her mouth, at her lips. Did she want to kiss her? Arizona wouldn't be opposed, but she had told Callie that she'd have to be sure she really wanted Arizona. Arizona moved her hand forward slightly so that it would lightly brush against Callie's. She didn't know what possessed her to do it, but she had no regrets as she saw Callie inhale deeply. "Cal-"

"Take care now," Callie said quickly, and then walked out of the conference room. Arizona just sighed loudly.

She could see Callie, the Callie she knew and loved was in there, but she was still so hurt, and so was Arizona. Arizona kept thinking that maybe they could help heal each other, Callie just had to let her back in.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to lose a child?" Arizona was taken aback by the question. She had just had to give the worst news in the world to a set of parents. Their son was dying, and there would be no miracle for him. So she recommended that they take this opportunity to just be with him. To do everything to support him. To make sure that he knew he was loved. The parents hadn't taken that news well because they had come to Arizona expecting a miracle, and they promised to take their son someplace else to get it.

Arizona had a momentary crisis over how to answer the question. She wanted to say, "No," even though that was a lie because this wasn't about her or her loss, but instead she said, "I do."

The father hadn't been expecting that response. He'd wanted to lash out, to explain to her that she could never understand the pain he and his wife were going through.

"We want to protect our children from everything, but sometimes we can't. So you need to make sure that little boy in there knows that he's the most loved little man in the world. You need to do everything you can to make sure that he feels safe, that he isn't scared, and you will never regret that you were there for him for every second he has left." The mother had begun to cry as she accepted her son's fate, the father looked like he wanted to argue the point, he wanted to keep fighting it because he wanted his son to live. "I'm so sorry," Arizona said. He nodded his head a few times, allowing it all to sink in, and then hugged his wife.

"I'm sorry too," He said. He kissed his wife, and then told her that they were going to be okay, but that she needed to stop crying so they could go be with their son. He held her until she was able to compose herself and then they went into their son's room together. Arizona took that as her opportunity to get away. She wandered into an on-call room because she needed to be alone. It had been one hell of a day.

Callie had overheard Karev talking about a PEDs case. Arizona was going to be the one to tell parents that their son had run out of medical interventions. Callie knew that this couldn't have been the first time Arizona had lost or would lose a patient since Sara's death, but it was the first time Callie had heard about it. She felt for Arizona. It made her thankful she didn't work in PEDs.

Callie found herself waiting outside of the hospital for Arizona. When she saw her, she noticed the slumped shoulders, and her head down. It reminded Callie of the way people often walked in New York City, walking with their heads down in order to avoid people. Callie knew this had to mean Arizona's day had been as bad as she imagined.

"Hey," Callie said as she walked over to Arizona who quickly looked her way before putting her head back down, striding forward.

"Hey," was all she said back.

"I heard you had a tough day. I'm sorry," Callie said gently, sincerely, but it did nothing to help Arizona's sour mood. Callie could sense that, and she suddenly felt uncomfortable feeling that maybe this was a mistake. "Well... Take care now," Callie added before turning around and heading towards her car. It had been the wrong thing to say.

"Take care now?" Arizona asked loudly, with anger present in her voice. Callie turned back around to face her. "What is that? I can hardly get you talk to me unless it's about Sofia, and suddenly it's all 'Take care now?' You can't look at me the way you do, and then just say, 'Take care now!'"

They stood there, Callie at a loss of what to say, and then she reached into her pocket, pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to Arizona.

Arizona read it aloud, "'Good job today,' 'Hey there now,' 'Take care now,' what is this?"

"Uh, it's my therapist. She gave me these sentences, uh, well we came up with them together, they are all three word sentences. Three word sentences so that I have something to say to you other than the three words that are... that are killing me. Because you know that I feel that, but I can't say them. I can't say them, it would be cruel to say them because I am torturing you. I don't want to look at you longingly when I know I can't be with you anymore, so I'm saying take care now," Callie said, and after standing there in silence she finally added, "I'm just trying to let you off the hook." She looked defeated.

Through Callie's whole speech, Arizona could feel the tears fall from her eyes. Callie did still love her, but she voiced Arizona's worst fear. Callie knew she couldn't be with her anymore. So after all this time, all the waiting, this was Callie's way of saying that it was over.

"Take care now," Arizona whispered, and then walked past Callie.

AN: Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading, and I know Calzona readership is probably dying down very low now, but I won't let go :)

Next chapter is pretty much done, so hopefully have that soon.