A/N: Did I do these edits just to add in more Courtney and Duncan moments?

First Published: 7/31/14

Edited: 2/9/19

PRESENT DAY

"I hated myself for what I did to you," Courtney continued. "I wanted to die knowing that I could be that horrible. But then, I realized something. I realized that this wasn't entirely my fault. You were at fault too. You're the one who made promises. You're the one who couldn't keep them. I can't believe you think it's fine to tell someone you love them and can't picture a future without them and then drop them just to jump onto the next person. Who does that?"

The room was filled with silence once again as the tape came to an end.

"Courtney was special, you know," Duncan said finally breaking the silence. "And it scared me. It scared the living shit out of me. I've never felt so strongly about someone before. She treated me like crap because she was scared of losing me. I treated her like crap because I was scared of actually falling in love with her. But, maybe the truth was, I already was in love with her. And now, it's too late."

Gwen's Story

It was towards the beginning of Total Drama World Tour after Duncan and her had their talk. Courtney was sitting on the plane by herself away from everyone as she usually did in between challenges. It was during times like these that Courtney had to face the reality of her situation. She was alone. Bridgette was off hanging out with her teammates. Every so often, Bridgette would try to sneak over to where Courtney was, but every time, Heather would send Bridgette back. Courtney understood. She didn't want her fraternizing with the other team. This was still a competition after all. Friendships be damned. But, it still hurt.

At least when she was competing, she had something to distract her from her feeling of loneliness. But when the adrenaline was gone, she had to come to the painful realization that she was alone. Duncan left her, Jenny was far away, and Noah... She wasn't sure she was ready to trust him yet.

It also didn't help that she loathed everyone on her team. There was the new girl, Sierra, who was a crazy fan and who was obsessed with Cody, who unfortunately for her was still obsessed with Gwen (who may or may not have tried to take Duncan away from her though Courtney was slowly starting to think that Geoff just played that clip for views). And then there's also Heather. Courtney knew she definitely couldn't trust her.

Courtney sighed as she tried to lean back to fall asleep, but sleep wouldn't relieve her from boredom this time. She tried to take out her notepad to write a list of how she would finally win this season, but she just couldn't focus. Duncan was always on her mind. I wish that he was with me right now... She shook her head. Get it together, Courtney. Focus on your goal. Focus on winning.

Thinking that way helped her get through the day. Until she heard a contestant laugh at something the other person said. Then the loneliness would come crawling back.

One day, Courtney finally got fed up and sat down next to Gwen. Gwen glared and waited for Courtney's rant about how she was trying to steal Duncan. Instead, Courtney sighed and said, "Look, I don't really have anybody to talk to on this team and neither do you. We're both on the same boat so we might as well try to get along, right? Besides, we're on the same team."

Gwen scoffed. "Oh, please. You're probably planning to be nice to me and then kill me off once I'm asleep."

"I thought you knew me better than that, Gwen. I'd never try to prevent my own team from winning."

Gwen thought about it. "Fine. Maybe I can tolerate you. But I doubt we'll ever be friends."

"Well," said Courtney getting comfortable in her chair. "We have a whole plane ride to find out."

To their surprise, they instantly connected. Throughout each challenge, Gwen and Courtney found that they both rolled their eyes in the same things and found amusement with the torture of a certain contestant (that "Eine Kleine" song was a classic!). However, Courtney knew should could truly trust her when she took the blame for Courtney for losing the challenge (but the rock really did look like Duncan...).

Courtney also found herself feeling happy with her life again and not moping over Duncan. However, in the moments that she felt the sadness creeping up on her again, Gwen was always there to hear her out with open arms. To Courtney, Gwen was like another Jenny. The person who saved her during when she was at her low point.

At least, for a little while.

"Hey, Courtney," said Gwen while carrying a celebratory cupcake, obviously provided by the first class service.

An elimination ceremony had just ended and most of the contestants snuck into the first class before Chris would notice and kick them out. After grabbing the cupcake, Gwen joined Courtney in the back. It was one of those rare moments when they could be alone together and not have to resist the urge to roll their eyes at their fellow contestants or worry about the others listening in to their conversations. Though Courtney now felt comfortable enough to open up about anything to Gwen, she didn't want to dump out her whole past onto her. I don't need someone to feel sorry for me. However, there was one subject that Courtney was willing to open up on.

"So," asked Gwen. "About Duncan..."

Courtney arched her eyebrow. Where in the world did that come from? "What about Duncan?"

"Well," said Gwen. "It's just that you seemed kind of stressed lately, and I noticed that when you talk about Duncan, your eyes light up. And I want to know why. Why is he so special? Isn't he just another guy?"

Courtney sighed while slowly tapping her fingers on her leg. What do I even say to that? "It's kinda complicated, I guess. I don't even know how to begin explaining it."

Gwen smirked. "That's okay. I have a whole plane ride."

Courtney could feel her palms getting sweaty. Yes, plenty of people have asked her that question before, but most of the time, she just brushed them off. But we're actually alone and me and Gwen are pretty close so I guess that it's okay...

"It's just... I'm an all or nothing type of person, you know? I either don't like that guy or I'm in love with that guy."

"So... you're in love with Duncan?"

Courtney nodded her head. "I think so at least. I mean, it's like, when he holds me and looks at me, I can see that he loves me."

"But how do you know?"

She sighed. "I really don't know," she replied honestly. "But it's like... It's like I can feel it through his actions. Like when he looks at me and smiles, it's not like the kind of smiles that people have when they're in pictures. It's like a true smile. Like he's truly happy. So, when I see him do things like that, I know that what he says is true."

"What does he say," Gwen asked genuinely curious.

It happened when Courtney first appeared on the Total Drama Action set. Once the Awards Ceremony was over, Courtney didn't head back to the trailer like her teammates. She really did not want to spend unnecessary time with her roommates. Beth and Lindsay didn't exactly want her there, Leshawna talked shit about Duncan, and Heather... Did she really need to explain that one? It was fine though. She didn't fight so hard to come back on the show for them. She fought for the chance to get the prize. And for Duncan.

She sat on the bleachers while lazily going through her PDA when Duncan approached her. He didn't say anything. He just stared at her as if he was trying to figure out something. Slowly Courtney put her PDA down on the bench next to her before speaking to Duncan.

"Can I help you?"

He didn't respond. He just kept looking at her as if there was something he wanted to say.

"Look," Courtney said slowly. "If this is about how I used my lawyers to get back on the show, you know how much I needed the money, and after I saw that clip of you and Gwen, I knew I-"

"I love you."

Her heart skipped a beat. ...What just happened? Courtney was just getting ready to interrogate Duncan about Gwen, and he interrupted her to tell her he loves her? She tried to read his eyes to see if he was playing her, but he just waited for her to reply.

"...Is this some kind of sick joke?"

Duncan let out a deep breath and sat down next to her. "Courtney, I honestly thought I like you because I liked to get a rise out of you. But, honestly, I've missed you like crazy. Hell, the other night I was admiring the stars, Courtney. The stars! Could you imagine how much shit I could get at juvie if that secret got out? And, I was looking at them because I figured maybe you'd be looking at it too, and then, maybe I wouldn't feel so far away from you. And, it scared me because I realized that I can't ever see being anywhere without you. Every time I think about my future, you're always in it."

Courtney felt like she couldn't breath. He's calling me Courtney. He's being serious. "You're an independent person, Duncan. You don't need me to be in your future."

Duncan shrugged. "Maybe. But I want you there. I love you, Courtney."

"What the hell are all of these teenagers doing in first class? Get out," yelled Chris.

Busted. She watched the contestants run back into the crappy compartment.

"That's really beautiful, Courtney." said Gwen while rubbing her arm.

Courtney smiled and closed her eyes as she savored that memory. She never noticed the look of guilt Gwen wore on her face.

After that day, Gwen never asked Courtney about her relationship with Duncan. Even though Gwen kept acting like her and Courtney were still the best of friends, Courtney could feel that something was different. Something was putting a strain on their friendship. Gwen would no longer look Courtney's eyes when they had a conversation and always wanted to leave a certain amount of space between them.

Should I say something? But if I do and it's nothing, wouldn't she be angry at me for automatically assuming that something was wrong? Maybe I shouldn't say anything. But maybe if she did say something the trouble would've never have happened.

The day that Courtney and Gwen found Duncan, Courtney could not stop smiling. She kept looking at Gwen thinking that she would be happy for her, but instead, she looked... guilty?

She quickly dismissed that thought. She wanted to focus on the positives. Duncan's finally back!

Courtney smiled at that thought and didn't notice Duncan glancing at Gwen or Gwen trying her best to avoid looking at Duncan at all costs. However, that was just the beginning. When she found out about that kiss, her heart broke in two. Literally. She felt the crack. Not only did she lose somebody that she thought loved her, but it was done with someone who she thought she was close to. Who she opened her heart to. Her comfort during her lonely plane rides.

She knew exactly how I felt about him! She knew that I really loved him, and she still stole him from me! She still chose him over our friendship!

"Gwen," she whispered to herself. "You're going to pay." And that's a promise.

Although revenge did make her feel better, she still cried herself to sleep because of two reasons. One was a broken heart. The other was because of the realization that she doesn't mean anything. Not to Gwen. Not to Duncan. Not to anybody.

END OF GWEN'S STORY

A/N (from 7/31/14): I THINK THAT I SHOULD POINT OUT THAT COURTNEY'S VIEWS OF DUNCAN AND WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH WITH HIM CLOSELY REFLECT WITH WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH AT THE MOMENT SO I'M REALLY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER.

BUT EVEN THOUGH MY OWN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WAS HARD, IT AT LEAST BENEFITTED THE WRITING (I THINK...)!