On the roof of her house, Elena stared into the dark sky as she listened to Damon talking to her brother inside. His reaction to her transition hadn't been great, but she hadn't expected anything less. He had previously expressed his distaste for her becoming a vampire, and though it broke her heart, she wouldn't apologize for not wanting to die.
She didn't want to let Damon talk to Jeremy on his own, but knowing that she could hear every word from anywhere in her house and be there in half a second in case something happened made her agree. She trusted Damon not to hurt him, because he knew that if he did she'd never forgive him. There was too much at stake for him to lose, this time.
She had been tuning in and out of the conversation, wanting to hear all of it but getting distracted by other noises. She was still working on mastering all of her new senses.
She caught Damon growl, "Fine, if you're gonna be so against this then I want you to go up there and look your sister in the eye and tell her that you wish she was dead."
Elena squeezed her eyes shut against the tears threatening to fall and buried her face between her knees. She didn't hear a response from Jeremy, and Damon continued, "That's what I thought. Now listen here you little punk, you're gonna stop giving her such a hard time about this because if she didn't make this decision, you'd have no one. Now go upstairs and apologize for what you said yesterday about there being nothing worse than her becoming a vampire."
Thank god vampires could heal so fast, or else Elena would surely have a headache. She had told Damon he didn't have to talk to him, that it would be better if they just let him get used to the idea on his own, and now she was beginning to wonder if Damon's harsh words were only going to make him resent her more. Maybe it would be better if she just skipped town for a little while…she might not finish high school, but now that she was a vampire what did that really matter?
Human milestones were all trivial now. Having a career wouldn't grant fulfillment when she had nothing to work towards. Education no longer mattered when she was going to live forever and could get anything she wanted by compelling someone. She supposed that she should still try to graduate high school, at least. Caroline was already talking about college, but Elena no longer saw a point in it. Maybe with time she'd be able to handle having to strive for fulfillment, or even find a new way to feel complete.
But at least she had Damon, who was willing to walk to the ends of the earth just to make her smile. There was no way out of vampirism except for death, and while she knew that, she was thankful that she could spend the rest of her existence with people she loves and love her right back. She'd have Caroline too, which wouldn't be so bad, and while she expected to see less of Stefan now that they were over, she had him too. She had doubts that they could ever be good friends again when she was human, but with an eternity ahead of her she hoped that they'd be able to mend their friendship.
When she heard footsteps walking up the stairs, she decided to slip back into her room. However, before she could move a single muscle she heard the front door open and close, and she watched as Jeremy got in his car and sped off into the night. He had lost so many people because of the supernatural, and she couldn't blame him for being upset that the only family he had left was now a vampire. First he lost Vicki because of it, then Anna, then Bonnie, Jenna and John, now her, and she was beginning to wonder just how much more her little brother could take before he broke.
She, unlike him, had two vampire brothers to hold her and protect her when she needed comfort. She had been so absorbed in herself lately that she never stopped to ask him if he was doing okay. Everything in life seemed to revolve around her, but she promised herself that that would stop. Yes, she was the doppelganger and when she was human, everything was by default about her because Klaus wanted her. But now, things were different. Her blood was useless to him, just like Katherine's, so he'd have no use for her anymore. If he wanted someone to blame for her death, then that would fall on Alaric, who was already dead.
The only thing about her was adjusting to her new life now. She made another promise to herself to ask all of her friends how they were doing too. She still needed to have a talk with Stefan just to clear everything between them and find closure. That part of her life was over, and she knew that without a doubt. She just didn't love him the way she used to anymore.
She also realized that she had no idea how Caroline was doing. She hadn't even spoken to the girl she called her best friend since before Klaus was 'killed.' Klaus was in Tyler's body, and while she must be relieved that everyone is still alive, the man that she loves is in some kind of dead state while her worst enemy who's also slightly obsessed with her is in his body. There was no way she was doing okay, yet Elena had once again been so absorbed in her own problems that she didn't stop to think about the people she fought so hard to protect.
Bonnie was someone else she needed to talk to. They really hadn't been on the best of terms ever since they found out about vampires, but with time they were slowly reconciling and learning how to deal with everything. Now, Elena was the very thing that Bonnie hated the most, and Elena wondered if she should even bother hoping that they could still be friends. Bonnie had very reluctantly opened up to the idea of Caroline being a vampire, but now Elena was too? She hoped that her best friend could find someone to trust again, maybe even her brother now that the ghosts were gone. They had a long way to go, but if it meant Bonnie had someone to rely on without ever worrying about getting hurt, then Elena was all for it.
Then Elena's thoughts drifted to Matt. The only one out of all of them that had clean hands, and stayed true to who he was. He was one of the few humans left in this mess, and because of that Elena hadn't thought twice about dismissing his problems until later. She never asked him how he was doing after Vicki almost came back to life and he got to talk to her. They were once so close, but now she couldn't even say what his plans were for after high school.
Damon practically materialized out of nowhere next to her on the roof, but she didn't jump at all. She had been expecting him. Out of all the people she wronged, she considered everything she put him through to be the worst. All he ever did was love her, and time and time again she threw it in his face and used it to her advantage without even meaning to. He put his feelings on the back burner when Stefan left to take care of her, to comfort her and tell her that everything was going to be okay, even though it killed him.
She wondered how in the hell he could still claim to love her when all she ever did was hurt him.
"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" He asked softly after a few minutes, keeping his gaze focused ahead on the subtle light forming low in the sky.
Elena sighed, "I've been such a terrible friend lately." His mouth open to argue, she shook her head, "Don't defend me like I know you want to. It's true. I've been so worried about all of my problems that I don't even know what's going on in my friends' lives…"
Damon closed his mouth and resisted telling her that all of her friends understood. While he could agree that she had been less attentive than she probably would have liked, she didn't seem to be understanding that the reason behind that was that her life was in danger. She was constantly sleeping with one eye open, if at all, worrying about if someone was going to kidnap her from her bed in the middle of the night.
To hell with what any of her friends thought when her life was on the line. He didn't give a shit what they had to say, unless it hurt Elena. The girl cares so damn much about the people around her, and while it's one of the reasons he fell in love with her, it's not a very convenient trait.
His talk with her brother obviously hadn't worked like he'd wanted it to. He just about wrung the little shit's neck for what he said about her. Elena didn't deserve to be exiled just because she chose to live when life threw her a curveball. Damon didn't think he'd ever be fully okay with the choice she made that night to throw herself in front of him, but he'd make sure that he taught her how to enjoy being a vampire even if it killed him. He'd answer all of her questions, teach her control and how to do all of the cool little vampire tricks, and he'd take her hunting to show her what not to do when feeding from someone she wants to live.
Eventually he put his hand on her knee and said, "Well, the perks of being a vampire are that you have an eternity to apologize."
She looked down at her lap for a few moments, trying to find her words, before she looked to him, "Then I might as well start now, right?" He frowned slightly at her and she continued, "I'm sorry for everything I put you through ever since we met. I've said terrible things to you, done terrible things. I've thrown my relationship with Stefan in your face when I knew you had feelings for me, I've told you that your love for me is a problem, and I've expected the worst from you when I knew how hard you were fighting for me." Recalling the words he used that night he compelled his love confession away, she continued, "If anyone doesn't deserve someone, it's me."
Damon bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from instantly arguing, because he wasn't going to lie to her and sugar coat things. He looked down at the dark gray shingles between them for a moment before saying, "I can admit that you're not a saint, Elena. No one is. But you try to do good. You have too much compassion in that dead little heart of yours to ever not care about others. You've made mistakes, and I won't deny that, but we all have. Don't be too hard on yourself for the little things."
"But they're not little, Damon," she disputed. "I just don't understand how you can sit here with me without hating me. I've been messing up as far as you go ever since we met. That's been over a year. A year of loving me without any reward for it."
"I don't need a reward for that, Elena. Do you get rewarded for loving Jeremy? Or what about Bonnie? We were friends, and as long as you were in my life that was enough for me. I never asked for you to love me back; you were in love with my brother and I could wait as long as it took."
She furrowed her brows slightly, "How did you know that waiting was worth it? That Stefan and I weren't going to work?"
He smirked, "I've known that since our little impromptu trip to Georgia. While you would always be enough for Stefan, he wasn't going to be enough for you one day. One day, you'd stop grieving your parents' deaths and start living again, and that day would be when Stefan couldn't keep up. You were going to grow into yourself, become your own person, and flourish, and Stefan would just hold you back. You had too much personality in you for him to handle. I meant what I said when we first met, that in a relationship, you want passion, adventure, and a little danger. I just didn't know how right I was at the time."
"But Stefan and I had that." She stated, forgetting for the moment that she was talking to the absolute last person she wanted to think she was having reservations about her breakup with Stefan.
Damon blew out a laugh, "Did you though? Really think about it, Elena. Was your relationship passionate? When you two fought, did you scream at each other until you were blue in the face? When you were happy, were so deliriously ecstatic that you were bursting at the seams?"
The more she thought about it, the more she realized that her and Stefan never really fought. And while he did make her happy, it was the kind of happy that's just that; happy. She smiled more, and the loss of her parents didn't feel so harsh anymore, but that was it. Stefan healed her parents' deaths, but before they could get past that he left with Klaus, and everything changed.
Taking her silence as confirmation of his accusations, Damon continued, "And adventure. Well, that one speaks for itself. If Stefan could keep you locked up in one place the rest of your life, he would, and you know that."
"But there was danger to him." Elena pointed out. "He was a vampire."
Damon snorted, "Not that kind of danger, Elena. Physical danger isn't something you want. You want the kind of danger that comes with never knowing what's going to happen next. Predictability is quite possibly the number one relationship killer."
And that's exactly what Stefan was. Predictable. Maybe Damon was right. While Stefan was enough for her all this time, how much longer would it take for her to get bored? She was quite confident in the answer being when she turned into a vampire. She was sure there was another time when she would have gotten bored, but now that vampirism was thrust onto her shoulders she didn't want Stefan to be the one to help her through it. Not only did he have no semblance of control to teach her, but she was different now. She finally accepted that their relationship had been damaged beyond repair, and with that acceptance the door to what she felt for Damon was pushed wide open.
She didn't mean for it to happen, with Stefan's brother of all people, but Damon…was inevitable. She had been teetering between friendship and love with him for months, and she was sick of it. If she was going to be in a relationship with anyone after she got all of this figured out, it was him.
Elena dropped her head onto his shoulder in the gentle calmness of dawn. Damon threaded their fingers together, her right hand in his left, and she decided that was enough of a talk for now. She had a lot to figure out, and hopefully at the end of it all her and Damon would have their shot. She loved him, more than she loved anyone before him. Everything he had been describing about passion, adventure, and danger perfectly described their relationship, even before it became romantic. He was everything she needed in life; of that she was sure. They were going to be together one day, the only question now was when.
Damon reached into his pocket to grab the small object and he untwined his fingers from hers, holding her hand out still. He showed her the sparkling piece of jewelry and said, "Bonnie made this for you before you turned, just in case she couldn't find another way." He slid it onto her right ring finger and rubbed his thumb over her knuckle beneath it, as if the thought of not touching her was unbearable.
The silver ring was very simple, with the same blue stone as Stefan and Damon's rings held in place by four prongs. Elena automatically grabbed Damon's left hand where he wore the ring on his middle finger, and she held up her hand to compare the two.
"Pretty good match, if I do say so myself." Damon quipped, leaning his cheek against the top of her head that was still pressed against his shoulder.
"Perfect match." Elena practically whispered, but Damon heard it loud and clear. He smiled to himself, and they sat in each others arms as they watched the sun rise.
The dark blue, almost black sky slowly faded into a lighter blue, and then as soon as the sun peaked over the horizon, brilliant streaks of pink and oranges marbled across the sky. The few clouds shined bright like a light bulb, glowing under the sun's punishing rays.
Damon snuck a glance at the girl in his arms. Her permanently tanned skin glowed beneath the soft light, and her glassy eyes shone with the promise of a new future.
She didn't know what was going to happen next, but with Damon by her side, she was ready for it.
"Damon, don't take this the wrong way, but I think I want to try the animal diet." Elena said from her seat on the couch in the boarding house as Damon came up the stairs with two bags of blood.
After their talk early this morning, Elena had insisted on going back to the boarding house where she could get a few hours of sleep without worrying about her brother coming back. She crashed in Damon's bed until she stirred awake around noon, hungry.
Damon sighed, "Of course you do. Let me guess, it's because you're afraid of becoming a ripper, right?"
She shrugged, "That, and I'd rather not have to hurt anyone just to survive."
Biting his lower lip to physically keep in every argument he's spewed to her over the years about Stefan's diet, he managed, "If you were a ripper, we'd already know. The second you got a taste for blood, you would have fled to look for the nearest human. So you can stop worrying about that."
Elena sighed, "This is what I meant. I know you're not an advocate for it, but I just want to try it, okay? It doesn't mean that I don't want you to help me with this, because I do, I just want to be sure that I'm not hurting people if I don't have to."
Damon again bit back his next argument that feeding from a human doesn't have to hurt them if the vampire doesn't want it to. Quite the opposite, in fact, a vampire bite can have a rather…erotic, effect. She wouldn't understand that now though. Stefan never would have fed from her during sex, and the only times she's been bitten by a vampire have been violently. Just the thought of getting to show her how it feels had his pants getting uncomfortably tight.
Sighing, Damon said, "Alright, fine. Try it if you want, but I hope you know that I'm not going to be helping you with it."
"I know. I was going to ask Stefan." She said. "It will give me a chance to talk to him while doing something to get a hold on this vampire thing."
Damon walked into the kitchen to heat up the blood, and Elena followed. He tossed one into the fridge for later and threw the other one in the microwave for two minutes. Then he moved to stand right in front of her and said, "I know you said that I shouldn't worry about you and Stefan, but you're making it really hard when you tell me that you want to talk to him and you're going into the woods alone with him."
She sighed softly, knowing that Damon was always going to be insecure about Stefan. Not only was he her first love, but he was the golden child that always got everything Damon wanted. "Look, I…" She trailed off, trying to find her wording. How could she possibly explain to him what Stefan meant to her without hurting him? "I was in love with Stefan for a long time, that isn't going to change. But now, I just don't feel the same about him. I know that it makes you nervous to hear that I'm going to be spending time alone with him, but I promise you, you have nothing to worry about, okay?"
"Yeah…" He said softly, letting his mask slip just long enough to get that word out. Somehow, Elena was the only one that got him to let his guard down. "You better hurry and find my brother before he drains Bambi and leaves you behind to starve." He smirked, though Elena could see the battle warring behind his eyes.
"We're gonna be okay, Damon." She smiled tightly, then followed her ears upstairs to Stefan's room where she could hear him writing something on paper. She hadn't seen him yet since she turned, and she hoped that he wouldn't look at her differently. She was still the same. She still felt the same. She was just a vampire now, and she needed to learn all of the ins and outs of it.
She raised her hand to the doorknob, but before she could even touch it she realized that things had changed, and she couldn't just walk right in like she used to. It felt so strange having to knock on his door; so unnatural. Guilt gripped tightly at her heart for the pain she caused him by rejecting him. She wished it didn't have to be like this, that she never had to choose. She loved Stefan, she did, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, but he just wasn't what she needed anymore.
"Elena, come in." She heard him chuckle softly through the door, and she smiled to herself at the ridiculousness of it all.
She pushed open the door and smiled apologetically, "Sorry, but this is just kind of weird. I guess I'm still just trying to get used to all of these new feelings and emotions."
He looked at her sadly, "I see that you did complete the transition…" The way he said it made her wonder if he was happy about that or not. "I never wanted this life for you, Elena, but since it happened, I have to admit I'm glad that you chose to live. Having you as a vampire is better than not at all."
"Thank you." She said sincerely. Having his support in her decision would make things a whole lot easier. "I want to start off by saying how sorry I am for everything I did that hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, even when you hurt me."
He nodded sympathetically, "Likewise." He stood up from his desk and moved to stand a few feet away from her, "So where does that leave us? I know when you were human, the last I heard you were on your way to Damon…"
She sucked in an unnecessary breath and said, "Yeah, I was. I couldn't just leave him to die alone, Stefan, not when I care about him so much. I care about you too, though, and being a vampire hasn't changed that. I'll always love you, but…"
"You're not in love with me anymore." He finished, sadness brimming in the eyes that once made Elena feel like the most special person on earth. Now whenever she looked into them, all she could see was the empty, cruel man that tortured her friends, didn't care about their lives, and nearly killed her, on more than one occasion.
All she could do was nod and fight the tears. Shaking off the feeling, she changed the subject, "So I actually did come up here for a reason besides wanting to talk. I want to try feeding on animals instead of humans."
He looked genuinely surprised by her confession, which made her frown. It shouldn't have been that surprising that she didn't want to hurt people…
"Damon's allowing that?"
She furrowed her brows, "Damon doesn't have to 'allow' me to do anything…"
Quickly backtracking, Stefan amended, "I didn't mean it like that, I just thought that he was going to be teaching you all about this…"
"He is." She confirmed. "But some things I'd rather learn from you. Damon can be…well, Damon, and while he refused to teach me to hunt animals, I can still make my own decisions."
"Of course."
She looked down to the floor for a moment, then raised her gaze, "So you up for another hunt so soon?"
He smiled, this time in that way just like he used to that her feel all warm. However, this time when she saw the expression, none of those feelings bubbled up inside of her. She just felt nothing, and as confusing as it was, it told her that she made the right decision in choosing Damon.
"I think I can do that. Are you ready to go now?"
She nodded, "Yeah, I'm feeling kind of hungry so now would be perfect. It would also probably be better if when I went to face the world again, I wasn't starving and irritable because of it."
Chuckling, he motioned towards the balcony, "Let's go then."
She watched curiously as he walked out into the morning and jumped down with ease, landing lightly on his feet. If he was human, the jump definitely would have hurt him. "Can I do that?" Elena asked, only half serious.
Stefan grinned, "Just jump, your body will do the rest on its own."
She climbed to the railing and stood on it, looking down. She'd never been a fan of heights, but knowing that she couldn't die or even get hurt made it a whole lot more comforting. She stepped off the edge and squealed as she fell, landing on her feet just like Stefan had.
Her giggles could be heard all throughout the property, but they weren't quite as loud as the sound of glass shattering as Damon threw one of his crystal tumblers into the fireplace.