A/N: Leave a review on which ending you liked better!
Rubbing his eyes, Noah felt himself straining his eyes in order to read the words in front of him. Though the bar was his haven, it did have its downsides like its dim lights. He tried to convince the bartender to turn on the lights, but he would pretend not to hear Noah whenever he asked. Sighing, he put his book down deciding to give his eyes a rest. That's when he heard her voice.
"...whatever the strongest drink is."
"I've thought about it. I was wrong. What happened... I shouldn't have let it ruin our friendship. I've missed you so much."
Courtney paused for a moment as if contemplating something really important before saying, "I've missed our friendship too." She paused again before continuing. "Can I confess something to you?"
"Go for it."
"I came here for the first time because something happened today, and I really don't know what to think about it. I'd go to Bridgette, but I feel like I'm burdening her with all my drama. But now you're here, and, I mean, it's not like we haven't been friends for a while. Help me?"
Noah smiled. I've missed this. "From here on out, always."
"Well, you know how I've had this thing with Duncan before it fucking exploded?" He nodded at her to continue. "Well, the weirdest thing happened a few hours ago..."
"You're right. Do you want to come inside and talk about it?"
Courtney thought about it for a moment. Of course she wanted to talk about it! She's been waiting for Duncan and her to converse since he left after the first challenge on Total Drama World Tour! But that was a long time ago... And he hasn't shown an ounce of remorse about the way we broke up... For all she knew, he could be inviting her in to talk about how she's a raging psychotic lunatic! "Thanks, but no thanks," she replied. "I really don't feel like being lectured today."
"It won't be like that. I promised that we would talk so let's talk."
She rolled her eyes. Too little, too late for that. "You also said that you still loved me, and yet when you returned, you went straight to Gwen. And then, you made me think that I was crazy for being mad about that. So give me one good reason why I should waste my time talking to you."
"I can't," he confessed. "I'm going to be honest with you. I came to a realization, and part of it was realizing that I never talked with you like I promised." She didn't move a muscle. "Look, I can't give you a good reason because I don't have one. But I really want to talk to you. Please."
She had so many comebacks for him. We all want something. I wanted you to talk to me about what was going on instead of just making out with Gwen! Or Oh, now you want to be honest with? Not when we were actually dating? Or even You're right. There will never be a good reason for me to talk to you ever again. She was ready to lay one on him. She really was. She opened her mouth to say it, but before she could get a word out, she looked into his teal eyes. Big mistake. Her heart skipped a beat. And that's when she realized. She still loved him.
Goddammit. Really? After everything he put me through?
She felt like she did the first time she saw him on the island when she tried to push away her feelings. But this time, she had to succeed. Stop it. You don't like him anymore. He broke your heart. He's a bad person. He tried to make himself seem like a bad guy with a heart, but he has no heart. But her heart wouldn't listen. Her heart was begging her to go to him. Don't do it! Just walk away! Just- "Fine," she heard herself say. I'm weak.
He held his bedroom door open. She walked inside and sat on the ground. "So what exactly did you have in mind when you promised to talk to me all those months ago?"
Duncan rubbed the back of his head. He finally had a moment alone with Courtney to tell her what he was always thinking during those times. To tell her what he thought. To tell her why he acted the way he did. To tell her that he now knows that he was wrong.
...And he had no idea what to say.
She waited. She tried to be patient at first. However, as each minute passed, her anger grew. She could feel all the emotions she felt that day Duncan returned to the game. How she'd ask them if they could talk, and he'd blow her off with an excuse. How she eventually learned that his excuse was that he was too busy making out with Gwen to talk. "Do you want to know what I wanted to talk about when you came back?"
Courtney's voice made Duncan snap out of his thoughts. He spent so long trying to figure out the best way to talk to Courtney without insulting her that he didn't realize how much time had passed. And now, she was pissed. Just stay calm. "Ummm... Sure."
"I was going to apologize. I was going to take the blame for everything wrong with our relationship. I was going to promise to change so that we could actually function as a couple again. But you! You didn't even give me the time of day! You just moved on! Before you left, you told me that you still loved me and somewhere in between then and when you returned, you decided you loved Gwen? How could you?"
"Courtney, I-"
"No! I'm not finished!" Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry! "I realized how horrible I was to you! I felt like shit when you were gone!" Courtney, you need to calm down unless if you want everyone outside to hear you. "I kept wondering if that's why you disappeared. Because you didn't want to go back to your psycho girlfriend. But then, when you got back, I realized that you weren't thinking about me at all. All you were thinking about was Gwen. The girl you told me I was crazy for thinking that you'd guys would ever have a thing. That's why I created that fucking letter. I wanted you to prove to me that you wouldn't leave me. And I know now that that was wrong, but I will never forgive you for what you did to me."
Duncan watched the tears fall from Courtney's eyes and hung his head in shame. His soul was filled with guilt. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I just want to tell you what happened. And I promise that I'm not saying this to excuse what I did. I just feel like you have the right to know." Courtney only sniffled back. "Remember that day when you somehow managed to win that lawsuit to get back on the show?" She gave a slight nod. "It was probably one of the best moments of my life. I know you thought that Gwen and I were hooking up or something when you were gone, but honestly, I couldn't get you out of my head. Every single challenge I did, I thought to myself 'What would Courtney do?' Every time someone said something I could imagine the clever remarks you'd make. Gwen was a friend and a good distraction."
"So you were-!"
"And what I meant by that," Duncan continued before she could get the wrong idea. "Is that she brought me back to reality to focus on the competition. If it wasn't for her, I'd probably would've been out before you got on. And then I'd never get the chance to be alone with you to tell you that I love you."
She froze. Why did he say 'love' instead of 'loved'?
"I was falling in love with you, Court. And I knew it. And it scared me. I wasn't sure if I was ready to be in a serious relationship. But I convinced myself that I was the only one. That you weren't falling for me. Then, to me at least, the relationship wouldn't seem as serious. And then the letter happened."
She braced her. Here we go. I deserve to get shit for that.
"I made it seem like I hated the letter because you were trying to control me. But really, isn't that how are relationship worked? You'd try to get me to do something. I'd tease you that you liked that about me. You'd roll your eyes. And repeat. No, that's not what I hated about the letter. I hated it because I knew it meant that you were falling for me too. I know you. So I knew that you writing a thirty-two page letter, which highlights all my mistakes and how to fix them, was your way of telling me that you thought we were in it for the long haul. And it scared me. I knew that I saw a future with you too, but I always figured that it was just me. You seeing it too changed everything."
He took a deep breath before continuing. "And then when we got the matching tattoos and adopted Brittany, I knew that I had to get out. I was scared, Court. I've never been in a serious relationship before. It wasn't easy anymore. I started to think more about our future together. I started getting angry that I would ever plan that far ahead with someone. So, I guess I snapped. I had to leave the show. I needed to think things through, and I had to do it away from you. It didn't work at first. I couldn't get you out of my head. I couldn't stop picturing you being disappointed with me being a coward. A coward who tried to run away from his feelings instead of talking it through with his girlfriend."
"...Why'd you agree to come back with us after we captured you?"
"The week before, I was carving a skull into a tree trying to clear my mind. Big mistake. Apparently, that tree was sacred or something so the cops started chasing me. And when I ran away, I realized that I missed it."
"Being a criminal?"
"No, I missed life being easy. I convinced myself that it was you who complicated it. I thought back to when life was less complicated. And I realized that life on the show was easiest when I was with Gwen. So, I started texting her. I told her that if I ever got back on the show, we should give it a try. I knew she had a crush on me. I also knew she didn't want anything serious. I had things in common with her, and I didn't want anything serious. It seemed like a win-win to me."
"You didn't even think about how I would feel about this?"
The truth is a lot harder to say out loud. "I convinced myself I didn't care about you. When you got mad, I just told myself that you're the one who pushed me away with that serious crap. I just wanted to have fun. But it turned out not to be true. I started fighting with Gwen a lot because I realized that I missed being in a serious relationship. Gwen didn't want one. How could she? She had a serious relationship with Trent, and it didn't end up going so well."
"So," she said slowly trying to figure out why he was telling her this. "You keep breaking up with Gwen because she didn't want a serious relationship? What does this have to do with me?"
He let out a deep breath. Come on. You have to tell her the truth. You can do it. "I kept breaking up with her because I'm still in love with you."
"And then..." Noah asked intrigued. Are they back together?
"And then, nothing. I ran out of there," she said softly.
Noah watched as she ordered another shot and quickly chugged it down. "Why'd you run away? He said he still loves you, and from what I can tell, you still love him too. So, what's the problem?"
Seriously? She grabbed his shirt with both hands and pulled him close to her. She looked straight in his eyes as she said, "How do I know he's serious? Maybe he's just in a funk because they broke up again. How do I know he won't get scared and leave again? Tell me, Noah. How will I know?"
He gently pulled her hands off of his shirt and smoothed it down before answering. "By talking to him."
"...You really think that would work?"
"I'm not saying that you should trust him again. I'm just saying that maybe you should talk to him about it. I know it's only been a few months, but people do change, Court. Like look at you and me! A few months ago, I would've never tried to get onto a reality show just to try to talk to you again. But I realized that I was wrong and that I needed you back in my life. And I think Duncan realized the same thing too."
She paused for a little while before saying in a drunken tone, "I love him!"
"I know you do."
"I need to tell him that! Now!" She drunkenly got off the bar stool and started walking (if you could call it walking) out of the bar.
"Maybe you want to wait until tomorrow," he yelled to her.
"No! He needs to know now!"
END OF NOAH'S STORY
"...And I'm guessing you know the rest," said Noah.
Bridgette tapped her fingers on the table. "So were you okay with it?"
"With what?"
"Courtney going back for Duncan."
He smirked. "Oh, please. Yeah, we dated, but we were more friends than anything else. I was just glad I was able to salvage our friendship for one more night."
Once the tapes were done, Duncan sat in his room staring at his door. He thought back to the night it all began. The night that he was given a second chance.
AFTER LEAVING THE BAR
It was now 7:00 pm. And there was a drunk Courtney banging on Duncan's door. "Duncan! Open up!" Luckily for Courtney, everyone was still outside hanging by the pool so nobody could hear what was going on.
Finally, Duncan opened the door. He looked at the sight before him. Oh dear god. She's drunk. She's never had a drink before, and now, she's drunk. "I think I should take you back to your room."
"No," she yelled. She pushed her pointer finger into his chest. "I love you, and you need to know it!"
She's drunk. She doesn't know what she's saying. "Court, you're really drunk, and I think you really-"
"I'm not done! I love you! I need to know if you really never stopped loving me. Because the truth is, I never stopped loving you."
He sighed. She's really not going to listen to me until I answer is she? "I've never stopped loving you, Courtney. Even if you wake up tomorrow and tell me that you only said what you said because you were drunk, know that I still love you. And I don't expect you to ever want to get back together with me. I just wanted to talk with you today so that I could finally tell you what I was feeling."
She smiled. "That's all I wanted to know." Her eyes suddenly closed, and she fell forward into Duncan's arms.
A sad drunk. Interesting. He closed his door behind him and carried her back to her room.
"Wait," she said.
He turned around.
"I meant what I said."
I meant what I said too. "I love you too."
END OF FLASHBACK
Duncan closed his eyes trying to savor that memory when he heard a commotion coming from outside. What the hell is going on?
"Guys," Geoff yelled from outside. "Chris just got arrested!"
Chris? Chris! Dammit! When the finale finished, Duncan was going to march over to him and demand to know where he put his baby. Looks like I gotta work for it. Luckily, he knew a few police officers, who'd help him out...
THE NEXT DAY
Heather walked out into the sunlight and saw Alejandro walking towards her. Before, she loved the idea that she could make guys fall for her. It's what was needed if she ever wanted to be popular again. But now, the desire for it didn't feel as strong as before. She looked at Alejandro again and walked right past him. She could figure out that part of her life later. Right now, there was something more important that she had to take care of.
She walked straight to Lindsay, who was currently tanning by the pool. When Lindsay noticed someone was blocking her sun, she took off her glasses and looked up to face Heather. Lindsay glared at her and crossed her arms waiting for Heather to say whatever she had to say. Taking in a deep breath, Heather tried to muster the courage to say the words that she owed a lot of people.
"Lindsay, I'm really sorry."
Lindsay stared at her a little longer before dropping her arms. She stood up and hugged Heather.
"That's all that I've wanted you to say," Lindsay said. She grabbed Heather's arm. "Come on, let's talk about your thing with Alejandro."
"What thing? There's no thing."
Lindsay rolled her eyes. So naive.
Gwen walked over to Trent. She had a lot of time to think things over, and she finally saw what everybody was trying to tell her. Why do I always need people to feel sorry for me? What happened to my I don't give a shit attitude? Why should I care about what other people think of me?
"Trent," she said. "I've realized something. I didn't want to be with you anymore. I was kind of just always looking for an excuse to break up with you. It was stupid. I don't know why I couldn't just tell you that I didn't like you that way anymore. I don't know why I felt like I had to make you look like a bad person. That I had to escape from this relationship. And the worst part was that during all of that, I've never thought about how it could've affected you."
She looked at Trent waiting for a reply but got nothing.
"Look the bottom line is that I'm sorry okay? And I don't care if you don't accept it I just need to say it-"
He hugged her before she could say another word. "Thank you," he said before letting her go and walking away.
Now, time to find Leshawna.
Trent walked in the lobby and noticed Cody sitting by himself. It was long overdue, but he needed to talk to Cody.
"Hey man," said Trent sitting next to Cody.
"Hey," said Cody weakly.
"You want to talk about it?"
"Talk about what?"
"Gwen."
Cody looked away. "There's nothing to talk about."
Trent sighed. "Look, I know I wasn't there in person when all these things happened, but I know that Gwen indirectly broke your heart. I also know that nobody was really there to help you get through it. It was more like the opposite. So talk to me about it. I know how it felt so maybe I can help you through it."
Cody sighed. "It's a long story."
"I've got all day."
As soon as the contestants were finally released to go back home, Noah went straight to a house he hadn't been to in a while. I hope that she still wants to talk to me. Knocking on the door, he waited patiently for a certain someone to come out.
"What do you want?"
He spun around and found the girl he's been looking for. Jenny. "I wanted to talk to you."
She rolled her eyes clearly not believing him. "Yeah, I'll talk to you after you talk to Courtney."
"I did. You were right. I left her when she needed me the most. And now, she's gone."
"Wait, she's gone?"
He nodded slowly. He watched as Jenny crumbled to the floor. "This is all my fault."
"It's really not. You were there for her when she needed it."
"No. It really is. A few weeks ago, they released in the newspapers that Courtney got a full ride scholarship to a university. A full scholarship! She didn't have to go on that show! I convinced her to do it. And now, she's gone."
He sat on the ground next to her rubbing her shoulders. He noticed that she was still wearing her long sleeves. "It's all going to be okay." I'm not leaving this time, Jenny. I'm going to help you through this. You'll see.
Once Duncan explained to his parents that they had a grandchild, they were more than willing to help him locate Chris. Luckily, he wasn't too far away, and his parents knew a few people who worked there so they let him visit Chris the next day.
At the prison, a guard was there to guide him to the cell. ("You're visiting Chris? He's crazy, man!" "Oh, believe me, I know.") Once there, he looked inside and noticed that Chris was trying to make his own game show. Prison really does bring out the worst in people. Knocking on the bars, Chris finally looked up at him.
"So, Courtney must've told you. You ready to find out where your baby girl is?"
EPILOGUE (5 YEARS LATER)
Heather and Lindsay held hands while staring at the television screen. They could feel the tears coming out of their eyes as they heard the main character announce the death of his wife.
After they left Total Drama, they found out to their surprise that they lived merely ten minutes away from each other. Excited, they spent every moment they could with each other, went to college together, and even rented an apartment together where they could watch all of the reality tv shows, romantic movies, and Hallmark movies as they pleased.
Alejandro and Tyler walked into the room and observed the scene in front of them. Alejandro rolled his eyes while Tyler said, "I don't get it. You would think that after watching A Walk to Remember fifty times that they wouldn't cry over the ending. I mean it's the same thing every single time!"
"Okay, Trent, you're on in five minutes," said one of the backstage crew.
Trent nodded at the guy before looking himself over once more and then following the guy.
The place that his manager booked for him wasn't that big of a place, but it was okay. Trent was still a beginning artist, but from the looks of his album sells, soon he would be much more than that.
Gwen walked into a jazz club feeling slightly out of place. Every week, she'd usually meet up at Leshawna's apartment to hang out. This time though, Leshawna wanted to meet at a specific jazz club. She didn't know why. Leshawna wasn't into clubs. Gwen sure as hell wasn't into jazz. Yet, Leshawna insisted, and here, she is now.
Finally, she spotted Leshawna sitting at a table with Harold. "Hey, Leshawna! Harold!"
"Hey girl," she said once Gwen sat down. She moved her chair closer to her before whispering into Gwen's ear, "I have a surprise for you. Trent is performing tonight."
"What," said Gwen loudly. Trent? I haven't talked to him in five years!
Leshawna shushed her. "Just watch him. You guys have a spark before. I think you just weren't ready for it to turn into anything."
"Guys," Harold said. "It's starting." He started to clap with everyone else.
Trent walked onto the stage smiling at the applause that he was getting. "The first song that I want to sing is dedicated to this girl that I knew. I didn't always listen to her which was my biggest mistake, but I just want her to know now that I've learned from that mistake and that I am a better person now. And it's all thanks to her."
As soon as he strummed the first chord, Gwen could feel her heart leap. Maybe the spark is still there.
Noah sat in the library with Jenny. Currently, they were studying for a midterm. Jenny was in pre-med, and apparently, organic chemistry was killing her. So, Noah offered to study with her for emotional support. He watched as she tried to work out another problem from her book before erasing her answer in frustration. He couldn't help but smile.
It took a while, but Noah helped Jenny with her downward spiral (along with the psychologists, who visited their school after news broke out about what happened to Courtney). He never left her side. He first started noticing that she was getting better when she put a positive spin to a cynical remark he made about the spring formal. Then, he noticed that she'd smile more. Her collection of long sleeve shirts started to disappear.
She groaned and started shaking her legs. Maybe she wasn't a 100% yet. But she was getting better. And when that day comes, Noah will be there right by her side.
She finally looked up. "Why are you smiling?"
"I'm just so glad that I'm not doing pre-med."
Duncan drove up to the preschool where his daughter attended. Annie, now five years old, was the exact replica of Courtney. Same hair, same nose, same skin color, and even the same attitude. The only thing that she got from Duncan was her teal eyes.
Getting Annie back wasn't the hard part. She was illegally put into the adoption agency anyway. The hard part was figuring out what to do after that. His parents helped him take care of her while he finished off high school (though he regrets it now ever since she told him "When I grow up, I want to be a cop!") and even helped pay for her daycare when he confessed he was thinking about attending community college.
He smiled as he saw Annie run over to his car. He loved her so much and never forgot to tell her that.
"Hey daddy," said Annie. "Who is my mommy? Where is she?"
Duncan let out a huge sigh as he helped her into her carseat. He knew that question was going to come up someday. She was smart. After all, she is Courtney's daughter. He thought about how he was going to answer her a million times. But what was he supposed to tell her? How do you let a five year old know that her mother felt so depressed and isolated that she took away her own life and that he was one of the reasons why?
"Annie," he said. "Your mother was very special. She was smart, and she worked hard for the things that she wanted. She was the love of my life. And you want to know a secret? She's still with us. Inside here." He pointed to Annie's heart.
"Wow," Annie said with wide eyes. "Do you think she'd wanna hear about my day today?"
He smiled. "I'm sure she'd love it."
Bridgette walked up to Courtney's tombstone. She lightly traced the carvings on the stone before putting down a red rose.
"You know, it's been five years," she said. "I still can't believe that you're gone." She sighed. "I think you would like to know that you changed their lives. Even though they hurt you, you still helped them live a better life. I just wish someone was like that for you too." She could feel the tears coming. "You'll always be my best friend. No matter what."
THE END
A/N: First and foremost, I want to thank those of you who've been reading the story during the original publication from 2013 to 2015! I know it was a rough story, but everything I wrote about Courtney was what I felt during that time. I was shocked that all of you seemed to love it too even with all of its plot holes, grammar mistakes, and out of left field plot twists.
Second, I want to thank everyone, who read the story before it was edited. In 2016, I wanted to rewrite the whole story, but life got in the way. I'm really happy that I was able to edit the whole story again in 2019. At first, I was just going to fix the grammar mistakes, but as I started editing, I realized that I saw life in a different light than I did when I first thought of this story. So, I decided to change the storylines a bit just to make it more dramatic. However, I never expected to change it that much until I got to Duncan's storyline...
I wanted Courtney to end up with Duncan. I originally did the original ending with Noah for a few reasons. One, Gwen and Duncan were the more popular couple. Two, people weren't into Duncan and Courtney anymore (even I was starting to question if she was better off with Trent or Noah!). Three, I liked to pull plot twists out of thin air (which I changed during my rewrite because it was cringe-y).
This time around I wanted Courtney to end up with Duncan because in the end, no matter what the show threw at me in later seasons, whenever I think of Courtney and Duncan, I remember their relationship during the first season. I don't remember the time they tried to make Courtney into a villain during TDA and put a wedge in her relationship with Duncan. I don't remember when the show tried to throw me into Duncan and Gwen while he was dating Courtney. I remember the original Courtney and Duncan.
So I decided instead of doing my original plan of putting three seasons of Duncan and Courtney into one chapter that I was going to fix their relationship. Because after three seasons of that mess (plus one more where they didn't even try to fix the mess), I wanted an ending where they could get through the mess. Why? Because I wanted to believe they could. I wanted them to have a better ending than the one they tried to give me in TDAS.
...But I mostly did it because I could. I wanted to be fair though so for the readers, who read the story and liked the original ending, I kept it in just for you guys. However, to me, this will be the true ending.
Thank you again for reading this story. I hope you know how much I appreciate it.