Chapter 10
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." –William Shakespeare
Nina sat on the ledge of the balcony pretending to look dramatically at the landscape, thinking over what went wrong in her life. Oh right, it was her mom's birth. Nina wondered vaguely what she was supposed to call her mom now, since her name was Galadriel. But Nina's father knew her to be Sara. Which was she supposed to call her? Was she supposed to say 'my lady'?
"You seem troubled." A gruff and familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Yeah, I've had quite the news." Nina smirked mirthlessly. She knew it was Dwalin, and she knew that all of the dwarves had pieced together that she was responsible for Kili's miraculous healing. What they didn't know about was Galadriel or her so-called destiny to protect Middle Earth.
"Shouldn't you be happy that Kili is alive and well?" Dwalin asked as gently as he could muster as he settled himself next to her.
"I know, I know, but it's not natural, I shouldn't have been able to do that." Nina replied, her voice showing all of the confusion she felt.
"What did the wizard say?"
"I…I have special healing powers." Nina sighed heavily. She couldn't bring herself to say that Galadriel was her mother, considering she could hardly believe it herself and she knew how dwarves felt about elves. She was already enough of an outsider with the company, she didn't need elvish blood to top it all off.
"How did this happen? And how did you not know of it before?" Dwalin grunted.
"I have no idea. All I know is that I can heal, like I did to Kili. But I can also destroy…I could have killed him, Dwalin." She whispered, horrified. "The elf that Gandalf took me to told me that since I am so young and physically vulnerable without sight, my power could fall into the wrong hands—dangerous hands."
"Are you hearing yourself?" Dwalin scolded harshly. Nina was surprised by the new tone. "I have not known you long, lass, but I can tell that you have courage beyond what I've seen in some brave warriors. You have no sight, and yet you have continued to try to make something of your life; you have not given up on yourself. I am willing to bet that if you don't want to be controlled, you will fight." Nina smiled, scrubbing the tears from her eyes as they threatened to fall. She leaned forward carefully and it happened.
"This is strange." Dwalin sighed grumpily as Nina hugged him. She laughed into his smelly shoulder.
"Just let it happen…" Nina murmured with a laugh, trying to let herself forget everything as she hugged Dwalin tighter. "Thank you for helping me through everything, Dwalin. You're not as tough as you think."
"Aye, well, we best get back to the others." Dwalin grunted, and Nina nodded. She knew that he wasn't the type for sentimental things, and she wasn't feeling as worried about seeing the others as she was before. But she was still worried.
"My lady, Lord Elrond wishes that you sit at his table for the meal." Lindir, the elf from before, addressed Nina. Her tentative smile faded as she heard whispering among the dwarves. They were talking about her and her powers. A surge of pain flooded her heart as she thought of how they must see her. A monster.
"She healed Kili." "But it's not natural, it's witchcraft!" "She must be a strange creature of some sort perhaps…?"
"I'm blind not deaf, guys." She spat in their direction, holding her arm out for Lindir to lead her. It occurred to her briefly that perhaps she should have considered changing into cleaner clothes, however that thought dissipated quickly once she reached Elrond's table.
"Ah, Lady Nina, it is lovely to see you here with us in Rivendell." A foreign voice spoke. Nina frowned slightly, and the man awkwardly cleared his throat gently. "I am Lord Elrond, as you might remember." Nina relaxed a fraction and forced a polite smile.
"Of course, sorry."
"Nina, my dear, why don't you come and sit by me?" The familiar voice of Gandalf spoke out. Nina let out a relieved sigh and let herself be helped to the seat next to Gandalf.
"A word?" Another familiar voice from beside her startled Nina. She knew it was Thorin. She briefly worried that he might yell at her for healing Kili.
"Um, I am very hungry. After we eat?" Nina replied. It was the truth, and her stomach decided to back her up very loudly. He raised an eyebrow at the noise that she did not see, and gave a slight grunt in agreement.
"Thorin, why don't you let Lord Elrond see the sword you claimed?" Gandalf addressed him from across the table. The reluctant glare from Thorin to Gandalf practically lit up his distaste for elves on a neon sign.
"This is Orcrist, the Goblin Cleaver." Elrond said as Thorin reluctantly handed over the sword. "A famous blade, forged by the High Elves of the West, my kin. May it serve you well."
"Thank you," Thorin murmured with a nod as Elrond handed back the ancient blade. He then took Gandalf's sword from the wizard.
"And this is Glamdring, the Foe-hammer, sword of the King of Gondolin. These swords were made for the goblin wars of the First Age…" Elrond trailed off with a pensive tone.
"How did you come by these?" Elrond frowned. All three company travelers—a wizard, a dwarf king, and a blind girl—squirmed uncomfortably.
"We found them in a troll hoard on the Great East Road, shortly before we were attacked by orcs." Gandalf tried to explain nonchalantly.
"And what were you doing on the Great East Road?" Elrond cocked an eyebrow skeptically. No one answered, but the three still looked quite uncomfortable.
"Nina, a word now?" Thorin quickly changed the subject. Nina nodded, grateful to be out of the awkward situation. Then she realized she was about to enter an even more awkward one.
"As you can imagine, I have heard all about the recent events concerning my nephew—"
"I'm assuming you plan to bury me in that troll cave right about now?" Nina cut him off nervously. Thorin sighed heavily.
"No I am not," He grumbled. "I have found you to be a burden in this company, nevertheless Kili would have died without your…services. That is something I cannot forget."
"Are you banishing me, or whatever it is you guys do here?" Nina peeped, her throat choking up. She couldn't imagine leaving the company now. They hadn't been her first choice of companions, but she was more or less comfortable with them now and preferred their company to anyone else in Middle Earth. Especially Galadriel.
"You saved my nephew, Nina. If anything I should be rewarding you." He admitted reluctantly. "That is why I shall allow you to continue with our company if you wish, and give you a small share of the treasures that we receive at the end of our quest."
"You don't honestly think I've been traveling with this company because of the gold?" Nina shook her head pitifully at him. "As weird as it may seem, the dwarves—including you—have been the closest thing to a family I've had since I was brought into this mess. Despite our differences Thorin, I am grateful to you for not leaving me back in the Shire."
"It is not that I do not like you, Nina, but you are a woman, and a very vulnerable one at that. I protested your coming because I knew you would need protecting, and I cannot lose one of my kin because of that. It is an unnecessary risk." Thorin reluctantly admitted. "Perhaps I did not convey that in a civil way before."
"I can see that now, Kili's injury was my fault." Nina mumbled shamefully.
"No, you were long safe in that cave before he was shot." Thorin shook his head firmly. "Kili made his own choice."
Nina hung her head, knowing that if she wasn't blind, she would not be able to meet his gaze. She heard Thorin sigh heavily and turn to look out at the view of Rivendell, unsure of whether or not he wanted to say more to the girl. Eventually, though, Nina couldn't take the silence anymore.
"Is it beautiful?" She asked softly, her voice almost sad. Thorin frowned with a puzzled look at her, and then he understood.
"I would prefer the halls of Erebor, but yes, it is a well-designed city." Thorin answered stiffly. Nina chuckled and shook her head.
"You dwarves are so stubborn; you can't even admit when something made by elves is pretty." Thorin sighed again. "I used to try to see, you know. I would squint my eyes so hard that my head would hurt, and then I would cry so hard when the blackness didn't go away. All I wanted was to see…"
"I am sorry," Thorin turned his body to face her.
"Yeah well, it turns out I didn't need sight in order to become what I wanted to be." Nina turned her face toward the view outside, letting the gentle, cool breeze blow on it. "I want to be artist—I draw, I paint, whatever it is I do it. I just have to feel what I'm making. I have to know it; have to feel it. Then I can draw it."
"You have never expressed an interest in art during our quest."
"Would you have noticed if I had?" Nina retorted before she could stop herself. She sighed. "I should not have said that."
"You are right." Thorin nodded. "I will try to treat you with more respect as a member of this company."
"You'll let me stay with you guys?" Nina peeped cautiously. She couldn't see Thorin's faint smile.
"I do believe I owe it to you, if you would want to continue this quest with us. You've earned it." Thorin regarded her carefully, as if making sure his choice was wise.
"Thank you, Thorin, thank you so much." Nina smiled genuinely. She refrained from hugging him, deciding that he didn't seem like a big hugger. "You guys have been so nice to me since I got put here, and I will try to help you with your quest as a thank you."
"Then I believe it is time you were told what you are volunteering for," Thorin admitted, a slight hesitance in his voice. Nina had almost forgotten that they didn't know she knew about Erebor. She nodded. "Sixty years ago, my kingdom Erebor was taken from me by a dragon, and now, using our map and key, we journey to Erebor to take it back."
"Seems like a just cause." Nina gave him a small smile, knowing that he had left out a great many details on purpose. Not that she minded, she didn't need to hear the tragedy of Thorin Oakenshield again. Nina felt that she didn't need to tell Thorin that the reclaiming of Erebor didn't exactly matter to her, but she felt like they deserved to think that she cared. She knew the outcome and she felt that the whole quest was worthless. The three deaths in the company, though, made her stomach churn inside. If they were willing to keep her with them and protect her until she got home, she owed it to them to show enthusiasm about Erebor.
"You are sure that you would not wish to stay with elves?" Thorin suggested, an icy tone in his voice once he mentioned elves. Nina sighed.
"I don't think that any of the elves here are interested in getting me back home." Nina replied with a determined voice, feeling some anger build up at the thought of Galadriel.
"I see," Thorin commented. "And now I think it is time that you spoke to my nephew," Thorin extended an arm to help Nina back to the others. "You have avoided the poor lad and he hasn't done anything wrong to you." He argued when he heard her start to protest.
"Ugh fine."
"Hey." Nina stumbled into her temporary bedroom. "Would you mind helping a poor blind girl?" She grunted in sarcasm as she stumbled around, reaching her hand out. A familiar hand grabbed hers'.
"How did you know I was in here?" Kili asked as he led her to sit on her bed. Nina could hear the dissatisfied frown in his voice.
"As I said before, I'm blind not deaf." She replied, a hint of hurt in her voice from the dwarves earlier.
"I'm sorry they talked about you that way, Nina." Kili murmured softly as he sat next to her and released her hand. She nodded.
"They're right, though. I am a strange, unnatural creature." She spat. Kili jumped to her defense.
"No, they're wrong! They were scared and unsure, they didn't know how to react. You cannot hate yourself because of that," Kili grasped her hand again, this time trying to reassure her.
"I don't know…and how did you react? Tell me the truth Kili, you were freaked out I know it." There was silence. "Kili."
"I have never seen that before, but you saved my life. I know we have not known each other that long but I know you well enough to trust that you wouldn't try to hurt any of us." Kili finally decided to say. Nina sighed with a small smile.
"And is everyone afraid of me now?"
"Not really, now they're just trying to wrap their heads around it." Kili loosened his grip on her hand. Nina chuckled at him.
"And you're totally okay with me having powers?"
"I'm still wrapping my head around it too, but I am grateful, we all are. We wouldn't want you to leave us." Kili smiled. Nina grinned.
"Then I guess I have no choice but to stay with this crazy band of dwarves."
Author's Note:
SORRY for the late update, but my weekend was reaaally busy so I had to postpone my updating day. But alas, it is up. It wasn't eventful I know, but next chapter hopefully we will be leaving Rivendell and this craziness behind...for now.