Everything is Different Upon Review: 6
Contrary to Ichigo's impressions from hearing Renji and Matsumoto complain, Captains and Lieutenants didn't spend most of their time on paperwork. There were a solid 10 to 20 hours of it a week, to be sure, and doubtless it would get pretty hellish around the time when budgets and year-ends were due, and it would be even worse if you procrastinated, but Byakuya and Lieutenant Suzuki spent most of their time out and about the Division or leading missions.
And even a solid half of the paperwork wasn't that bad. As 9th Seat, Ichigo got to see it plenty. Reading mission reports and planning training rotations were necessary, sensible, and not that dull. Beyond helping out with that, his paperwork mainly consisted of writing his own mission reports, and, on occasion, mission plans. When his peers complained about it, he huffed at them, reminded of slackers at school.
Ichigo had always been a good student, and uptight in a lot of ways. He'd always been a stickler for the rules that made sense to him, and he'd long been casually violent. He liked having a routine, and he liked having responsibilities. He knew all that about himself. So it came as no surprise that so much of Division life fit like a glove.
To be sure, he disliked the more pointless rules, and getting the rank and file to not stand at attention whenever he passed by was tough, and he chafed at having to moderate his speech, but even that wasn't too bad. As a 9th seat, he got to call most of the Division whatever he wanted, and looking young as he did, he got away with a lot with those ranked higher. Plus, the age hierarchy wasn't nearly as strong in Soul Society as in Japan. It couldn't be. The society would collapse under the weight of it if it were.
No one gave a damn about his bright orange hair, either. Seireitei had plenty of people with even weirder hair colors. Those with naturally high reiryoku had a tendency toward unusual colors. Even Rukia's black hair was, to his mind, of a darker, truer, more absolute black than was found in humans.
It was strange, to go back in time and live in a different dimension, lying to everyone about your identity, at the center of a two-person conspiracy, and feel as if he finally belonged.
Sometimes, though, he cried at night when thinking of his family. He'd never told Rukia that. Never let her see. Less because it was embarrassing than because she'd twist it around to being her fault.
But she had caught him staring into the sky on Karin and Yuzu's birthday, so probably, she already knew.
Then, one day, right when he'd gotten back from a four-day patrol in District 42, Rukia popped into Division 6, yelled something about Kaien, sex, and an angry Miyako, and dragged him after her without explanation.
Ichigo saw red.
#
Some dreams started fine but didn't stay that way. You'd gotten a dog. A very nice dog who followed you around. Everywhere. The dog was always behind you. Sometimes, when you turned very quickly you saw it at the edge of your vision. You knew it was there mostly by its panting, its smell, the way it clamped its teeth around the back of your head, not quite painful, but you couldn't get it off, and it was eating you. Finally, you did get it off and ran away into the woods, and just when you thought it was safe, you heard its panting behind you again and realized that the woods were its home and there were other dogs there too.
Evening drill was like that.
Rukia was standing in line with all the others, going through standard zanjutsu drills with her fellows, a communal end to personal training, when 3rd Seat Miyako came up behind her, watching her drill.
Miyako said, "You're such a beautiful girl, Kotsuki-chan. Like a doll."
Rukia put on her best fake smile and said, "No, no. You're much more beautiful than me."
According to the rules of girl talk, Miyako should've insisted that that wasn't the case and complimented her again, but instead Miyako said, "You let me know if any of the others bother you." There was something in her voice that Rukia didn't like.
Rukia laughed uncomfortably. "No, I'm sure that would never happen. I'm not developed at all."
"Some men like that," said Miyako, and Rukia shivered. "Some of them talk about it after a little sake'. They give grand speeches about how it's age that matters, not development, not physical maturity, and they say that 16 is plenty old enough to know what you want."
"3rd Seat Miyako-"
"You seem to get on well with my fiancee."
"Lieutenant Shiba has been a great mentor." Though in truth, he hadn't spent half so much time with her as in the original timeline. There wasn't any need to.
Around them, drill had stopped. Other Division members had turned to watch, to listen.
Miyako said, "Yes, he's been giving you a lot of one-on-one attention, hasn't he? Sneaking into your room at night, you little slut."
Rukia gaped. Every person on the practice field was frozen, watching, Kaien included, paused mid-swing.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Rukia. Miyako had always been so kind to her. So gentle. Like an older sister. She couldn't imagine the source of such vitriol.
Miyako said, "Four different people have seen him going into your apartment at night. Wearing an orange wig. Do you still have no idea what I'm talking about?"
Rukia's lips formed an 'oh' of realization. "I'll be right back!" she shouted, and shunpoed away to Division 6 at top speed.
#
#
Most of the Division members currently in barracks were gathered in a circle. At the center of the circle were two pairs. The first pair was composed of Lieutenant Kaien Shiba, and his fiancee, 3rd Seat Miyako.
The other pair was composed of 10th Seat Kotsuki Rukia and an orange-haired boy with subtle Division 6 markings on his shihakesho. He looked human 13 or 14, and aside from the coloration and size, he looked disturbingly like Lieutenant Shiba, who he was glaring at.
3rd Seat Miyako again bowed so low her head nearly touched the ground, apologizing to both Lieutenant Shiba and 10 Seat Kotsuki. She'd been doing that since the orange-haired boy had arrived.
Kotsuki Rukia was holding the orange boy's sleeve. He had his arms crossed and was scowling heavily.
Rukia said, "This is Kurokento Ichigo. We're friends from back in Rukongai. He's the 9th Seat of Division 6."
Kaien said, "He goes to your room at night?"
"Not every night," explained Rukia. "Sometimes I go to his. And sometimes we don't even sleep together. Next to each other. ON SEPARATE FUTONS. It's not like we plan it. We just like to meet up at the end of they when we can, and if it's late, why not sleep-over." She stopped, huffing.
Kaien stared at Ichigo.
"Yo," said Ichigo.
The Division murmured.
6th Seat Enjoh said, "Itty-bitty Kaien."
Ichigo pointed to Kaien. "He's Ichigo one point O, more like." He turned to Rukia. "So this is the early model. He looks more like me than I thought."
"Ichigo!" She couldn't let him think that way. He wasn't a replacement for Kaien. They just looked a bit similar.
"Like looking at a black and white photo of myself."
Rukia said, "No, Ichigo, your chins are different."
"Are they?"
Hesitant, Miyako said, "Kaien's face is a little longer."
Ichigo shrugged. "You two can go on about that if you like, but I thought the hair was a bigger difference." He grinned. That was dangerous. "Hey, look-a-like, waddaya say you an' me find out how similar our zanpakutou are?"
Rukia said, "Ichigo! You don't challenge another Division's Lieutenant." The rest of the Division was grumbling about Ichigo referring to their Lieutenant as a look-a-like.
Ichigo said, "Not challenging him. Just thought it might be fun to-"
Rukia took a firmer grip on Ichigo's arm and shunpoed away.
One step, two, three, and she threw him against a boulder that was part of Division 13's garden, moss in its shadows.
Ichigo said, "Oi, Rukia, what's the big-"
"You're not thinking! It's up your craw for some reason. Can you look me in the eye and say you wouldn't go overboard?" Wouldn't try to win. Wouldn't reveal that his level was already past that of most Lieutenants.
Ichigo looked away.
"I don't know what your problem is, but you need to calm down, get control, and remember your priorities." She jabbed him in the chest.
With her index finger pushed firmly into Ichigo's chest, Kaien and Miyako appeared behind them.
Rukia bowed politely. "Lieutenant Kaien, 3rd Seat Miyako, I apologize for my friend's rudeness. Please forgive him. He's an idiot who should've been put in Division 11."
"Yeah," said Ichigo. "Sorry. I misunderstood Rukia when she was explaining the problem." His eyes moved from Kaien to Rukia, and Rukia turned pink. "She was just setting me straight on what actually happened."
Kaien said, "What did you-"
Miyako's hand on Kaien's shoulder silenced him. She said, "It's probably better to not get the details. Kurokento-san. Rukia shunpoed into your Division, rattled off an overly brief explanation and told you to follow her back, and you rushed over here to defend her honor. Is that about it?"
"Well," said Ichigo. "Pretty much." He grinned again. Rukia did not like this grinning Ichigo. His response to living a life of dissembly reminded her unpleasantly of Ichimaru Gin. Ichigo said, "Sorry for thinking you were a bucket of slime, Lieutenant Shiba."
Rukia kicked him. "Behave!" she hissed.
Kaien laughed. He covered his mouth and his shoulders shook, but the laughter still escaped. "I'll leave you two to it," he said, when his laughter had stopped, turning to go.
Miyako said, "Wait. Kurokento-san. How old are you?"
"I dunno," said Ichigo. "Pretty young. Didn't really keep track in Inuzuri. Twenty something. Maybe 30s. I don't really remember being a toddler but it might've lasted awhile, so maybe even 40s."
Miyako looked questioningly at Kaien. "Wild Oats?" she said.
#
#
"I do not want to be here," said Ichigo again, looking around the 4th Division. But no one cared what he said. Kaien looked nervous, Rukia looked prim, and Miyako, in between further apologies to Rukia, looked conflicted about the possibility of having a future step-son. She kept looking at him as if to figure out whether he'd fit in family photos.
If Rukia didn't have a firm grip on his sleeve, he'd shunpo the hell out. This was not part of the plan. Not part of any plan. Not being connected to the Shiba clan was half of why he wasn't with Rukia in Division 13 in the first place.
Concluding her examination of blood and reiatsu mixed in flask, Captain Unohana said, "Lieutenant Shiba, 9th Seat Kurokento is related to you."
Kaien gulped as Miyako twitched.
"A cousin, I believe."
Kaien sighed in relief.
Unohana said, "Is Captain Shiba available?"
"Shit," said Ichigo.
#
#
When Kaien returned to Division 4 with Captain Shiba Isshin, it wasn't as emotional as it should've been. Ichigo had expected to be swept away by a wave of emotion, but when his father entered the room, young and dressed in a Captain's Haori, it mostly felt like he'd been away for awhile. Except not, because he didn't really know this Isshin and this Isshin didn't know him.
"Yo," said Ichigo.
Isshin looked from Ichigo to Kaien and said, "Kaien, I think this would be your son, not mine."
Captain Unohana said, "Blood and reiatsu, please."
Isshin, being nervous about needles, looked away as Unohana drew his blood. She mixed the blood in a flask with Isshin's reiatsu – it was weird to see light creating a frothy mixture with liquid – and set Isshin's flask next to Ichigo's.
She watched how the froth in each flask pushed up against near sides, coming closer together, and passed a beam of light through both at once, watching how it refracted.
Ichigo wondered again what she was doing. She definitely wasn't testing DNA.
Unohana nodded, redid the test, and said, "Captain Shiba Isshin, 9th Seat Kurokento Ichigo is your son."
"My son!" said Isshin, opening his arms. "Give daddy a hug!"
Ichigo glared.
Perfectly businesslike, Captain Unohana said, "Captain Shiba, did you ever have sexual relationships with a woman from District 78?"
"District 78?" said Isshin. "No. Not District 78. District 77, sure. Ah. She was a sweet girl. How is Maya-chan?"
"I have no idea who that is," said Ichigo.
"Your mother. You don't look like her." He smiled and clapped Ichigo on the shoulder. "Clearly you take after your daddy's family."
"I don't remember having a mother," said Ichigo. That hurt to say, even if it was part of his cover story.
Kaien said, "Uncle Isshin. Didn't you say you got Maya married to a musician in District 22?"
Isshin snapped his fingers. "That's right! How could I forget? They sang such beautiful duets together. Your mother can't be Maya. She must be the other one. Or the other other one. Oh, or her too. Or her." He smiled. "Or one of the sisters. Or the mature woman in District 63." He sighed lustfully. "The gratitude of women is a wonderful thing, Ichigo, my son. I'm sure you will discover it."
Ichigo growled.
Isshin said, "You don't remember anything about your mother?"
Now that Isshin had been proclaimed his father, there was no sense anymore in letting people think he was a Konsoed soul. "I do remember someone who might've been, but she died when I was very young. I can't remember her face anymore."
Isshin went instantly from joy to crying fat tears. "To think of one of those beautiful, wonderful, giving, generous women died so young." His face cleared. "Would you like to become a Shiba? You and Kaien look both so much like your grandad it's amazing. I know I have a picture here somewhere."
Issshin stuck his hand into his interior breast pocket, the pockets of shihakesho being unnaturally large. He pulled out a cucumber, a hard boiled egg, and an assortment of pictures of scantily clad women in compromising positions.
"Why the hell do you carry all those?" shouted Ichigo.
"Here it is," said Isshin, sorting through the pictures of scantily clad women, and holding a picture up, though there weren't any women in it.
It looked to Ichigo look a photo, but considering how old it must've been, he supposed it was a photo-realistic drawing. In it was a boy who had to be young Isshin, smiling stupidly and striking a weird pose with his arms crossed over his chest. Behind him was Ichigo.
Only not quite Ichigo. A middle-aged Ichigo with brown, frizzy hair, hazel eyes, and deep laugh lines. But otherwise, Ichigo.
Ichigo said, "Why do his grandsons look so freaking much like him? It's creepy."
Isshin said, "He was a very attractive man, my daddy. We had to pass down a face like that. Not very manly looking, but the women never complained, I can tell you that. And besides, Ganju is his grandson too and doesn't look a thing like him. He takes more after me, and mum. His grandmother."
Ichigo looked at the picture of his grandfather. He'd never thought about it, which was stupid, but of course he had a grandfather and grandmother on his dad's side.
"What was his name?"
"Shiba Mashiro. Not much of a fighter, but one of Soul Society's greatest doctors, and very interested in birds."
"And my grandmother?"
"Shiba Azuki. She'll be happy to meet you."
"She's still alive?" said Ichigo, startled.
Isshin turned serious. "She's looking forward to going after dad into the next life, I think, but yes, she's still kicking. And she'd be thrilled to welcome in a grandson." He turned jovial again. "What do you say, Ichigo, my darling son? Do you want to becoming a Shiba? Oh, but Kurokento is a wonderful name. So cool. So dark. Which kanji do you use?"
Ichigo turned to Unohana. "Was he dropped on his head as a child?"
Rukia puffed out her chest and said, "I gave Ichigo that name."
"Excellent taste," said Isshin. "Who are you?"
"Kotsuki Rukia. 10th Seat of Division 13. Ichigo and I came to Seireitei together from Outer-Rukongai."
"Oh," said Isshin, nodding at Kaien. "So she's the one." He set the picture down and gave Ichigo a thumbs up. "Nice, my son!"
Ichigo said, "I will kick your ass if you say what I think you're going to say."
Isshin said, "Rukia-chan. Will you be my daughter-in-law?"
Ichigo leapt out of his chair at the Captain of Division 10. They hit the floor together, grappling.
Kaien whistled. Isshin wasn't going anywhere near to all out, but Ichigo was pretty damn impressive for a 9th Seat.
:::
I somewhat wish I'd called this story, 'Everything is Strange Upon Review," rather than different, but I chose the title quickly without much thought. Ah well. The first hint of strangeness is coming shortly. I mean strange not as in 'unusual,' but as in unfamiliar and puzzling.
I have no axe to grind against Miyako. That was just the best way I knew to make the scene.