Harry did not join in the festivities that day. He pretended he was sick and slunk back to his room. Perhaps he wasn't pretending, his stomach churned and his head pounded. But he knew it all stemmed from the conversation that morning. Was that really what his dad was like? His dad- the handsome quidditch star that gave his life for Harry? The man he'd always looked up too, been so proud to be compared with? But Mrs weasley...well, she was by far the most neutral observer he had yet listened to. So much of what she said made sense, tallied with what he already knew. He couldn't fault it, even though he spent most of the day trying to. And Black- NO, he couldn't think about that. It was still too raw, the grief too real, the pain too much. He shoved it back down.

Finally it was dinner time. He made his way downstairs, and-

"Would you like to take Severus's meal up to him?" Mrs Weasley asked him gently. "I'll do it if not, wanted to give you the option."

"Yes…" Harry said, although he wasn't certain. "I'll do it."

He carried the tray up, a heaping mound of shepards pie, roast chicken, bacon, cheese, soup, fresh vegetables… it almost weighed more than Severus did.

He entered slowly. Severus was awake and propped up on his pillows, from somewhere hed found an old copy of "The weeping witch" a classic tale, and seemed to be almost done with it. Harry smiled to see him awake.

"I bought you dinner..." He said.

"Oh. Thank you." He said, looking genuinely surprised. He looked downright shocked When harry removed the lid of the tray and sat the hulking mass down on the table next to hm.

"My word… so Molly is okay with me staying, I take it?"

"Of course" Harry said. He found he couldn't look at Severus. After today, it was too much, he felt too much guilt. Unfortunately, Severus had other ideas he'd had a long time to think and-

"Why don't you sit down?" He invited. "Stay...if you'd like, that is."

Harry nodded silently, and perched on the side of the bed. "How's your day been?" Severus asked, uncertain as a foal learning to stand.

"Uh…" Harry said, no idea where to start. "It's been a lot actually. Heavy. A lot to think about." To his great shame, there was a slight hitch in his voice. He tried to cover it with a cough, but it only made it even more painfully obvious. Severus frowned.

"Oh? Are you-" "Severus asked.

"What about you?" Harry interrupted. "I hope you haven't been too lonely, I'm sorry I-"

"Not at all. I like my space...in fact, it has been rather pleasant. I've heard people, felt included, but yet i've still...had my space." he finished lamely, certain he sounded insane. He felt inadequate at the very least. He wanted to comfort Harry, but wasn't sure how, should he reach out? He didn't think he had the nerve, His palms got a little bit sweaty, just thinking about it.

"That's good." Harry said, pleased to hear that he sounded calm, even though he didn't feel it. "I'm glad you stayed."

"So am i." Severus said. It was soft, but Harry heard it. For the first time that day, he smiled.

"Is there anything i can do for you?" He offered.

"There is one thing…" Severus said, clearing his throat nervously. "I...could really do with different robes, these are rather bloody, and-"

"Of course!" Harry said, jumping up. "I'll go to Madam Malkin's tomorrow, buy you some more, she has your measurements right?"

"Oh, i didn't mean for you to-"

"It would be my pleasure."

Severus blushed. God he loved it when Harry treated him. He didn't protest that much. "In that case…"

And so it was decided. The next morning, he, Ron and Hermione set off for Diagon Alley. As it was christmas eve, the place was bursting with last minute shoppers, but Harry didn't care. He was determined to get the perfect gift for Severus.

Snow fell softly and the three of them huddled together for warmth. They couldn't resist looking at Quality Quidditch Supplies, and Hermione spent an age in the bookstore. They moaned, but secretly, they enjoyed every minute, happy just to be together.

Finally, they got to Madame Malkin's, where Harry went a bit wild and ordered Severus an entire new wardrobe, complete with everything from formal robes, to winter cloaks, to traveling gear and everyday attire.

He felt a savage pride in spending his father's money on Severus, and ended up way over spending, but he didn't care.

Next was Florian Foresques, he had just come up with an ice cream that made you feel all warm inside and they were desperate to try it. But what to get Severus for his gift? (He didn't count the robes- they were just a favor. Besides, they wouldn't be a surprise, and is it really a christmas gift if it's not a surprise?)

It was getting late and Harry was starting to worry, when he saw it- the most beautiful trunk Harry had ever seen. Inky black and intricately carved, with hidden drawers and plenty of space. It was antique too, from the late 1700s, the woman behind the counter assured him. Harry had seen Severus's old traveling trunk, it was a mess, barely held together with years of charms and tape. Again, it was a fortune. But Harry was happy to spend it.

"How come your spending this much on him?" Ron asked, "why don't you ever buy me gifts like this?"

"I try, you never let me! Do you want me too?"

"Uh, no, actually, better not." Ron admitted, going pink.

It certainly wasn't easy getting all of it home, (Ron swore several times), but they managed it. Harry levitated the trunk to his room, and carried the mountain of robes to Severus. When he saw them, his mouth dropped open. "Harry, i can't accept this." He said, very seriously. He had been hoping for a nice robe or two, but this...this was an entire wardrobe! Harry hadn't skimped either, the fabric was clearly expensive, the workmanship flawless.

"Of course you can!"

"This is too much, i can't pay you back-"

"I wouldn't hear of it. Now please let's not have this conversation again… I like spending my money on other people. Your the only one that lets me. Now I wanted to talk-"

"Haaaaaarryyyyy" Ginny called from downstairs. "You've got an owl!"

God it was maddening being here! Harry had hoped that being away from school would be a little more romantic, a welcome break from classes and their familiar fights. But no, he could hardly get a moment's peace

"I should go and check on that." He said, frowning.

"Yes." Severus admitted. Harry turned to go, having decidedly mixed feelings. On the one hand, he loved treating Severus, loved to see the look of guilty pleasure as he accepted Harry's gifts. On the other, it felt a little perverse, now that he understood what his father had done. Did he have any right to talk to Severus? Make such demands on his time? Confused and slightly sad, he left.

Downstairs was buzzing with the typical Christmas eve festivities, largely games of charades and trick pies from fred and george, but it was good fun. The owl simply turned out to be from Neville, wishing him a good christmas and inquired to if Harry had seen his potions book, hed lost it…

All in all, the celebrations weren't done until almost midnight, when Mrs weasley forced them all into bed. But Harry couldn't sleep. He tried, for about five minutes, but promptly gave up and knocked softly on Severus's door.

A low, bored, husky "Yes?" Greated him. He opened the door slightly.

"I'm sorry to wake you…" He started.

"You didn't. My sleep schedule is a mess I'm afraid. Been sleeping all day, up all night…Come in. Sit down, if you like."

Harry did so, closing the door behind him and sitting down on the bed. It was eerie in the night. The room was illuminated by a single shaft of moonlight, seeping in through a small slit in the curtains. It fell perfectly on Severus's face, illuminating his nose, his neck, his bare, pale chest. Harry stared openly, glad that his own face was masked in the darkness.

"What happened?" He asked suddenly. "The night you arrived...you were so injured...what happened?"

"Let's not talk about that" Severus replied, although not unkindly. "Suffice to say… it happened in the line of duty. It was necessary."

Harry nodded silently, examining his hands, wishing things were better.

"I thought about you." Severus said. Harry's head snapped up, catching Severus's gaze in the low light.

"I thought about...how much I'd regret not telling you...how much i have enjoyed getting to know you."

Harry's throat went tight, his pulse quickened. Was this… what he thought it was? God he hoped so.

"I'm glad. I feel the same…"

The air was tight with tension, and Harry took a risk. Slowly, he leaned in, now almost laying on the bed too and he said-

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but...is there anything i can do to help? Like you did with me and my legs?"

Severus bit his lip. "Nothing ah, medically necessary." Harry's shoulders sagged. "But...if you wanted to help me get more comfortable..."

"Of course." Harry said, far too quickly.

Severus gestured to his old robes, laying in a crumpled heap by the bed, "there's a potion in the pocket...if you'd put it on my cuts…"

After a bit of searching, Harry pulled out a small vial, with swirling purple liquid inside.

"It will just made the cuts itch less, you don't have to…" Severus said, lamley, an ounce of guilt still floating around him. "It's not important."

"It is. Your comfort is. You are." Harry insisted. "Where…?"

"Everywhere...but, on my chest mainly."

With one shaking hand, Harry pulled the covers down. Indeed, Severus's white chest was crisscrossed with violent red slashes. Severus looked up at him, an expression Harry couldn't quite read on his face. Harry took a chance. In one swift movement, he straddled Severus's hips. Severus's pajamas, Harry's jeans, and about an inch of covers still separated them. But it felt recklessly erotic.

"What do i…?" Harry started

.

"Just one drop per each cut, then you'll need to smooth it over with your figure."

Harry started slowly. Beginning with Severus's soft stomach, he inched his way up, lovingly tending to every cut he could find. Soon, he was at Severus chest. He grazed one finger over his pink nipple and it hardened into a perfect point couldn't help it- he bucked his hips gently, hoping for some kind of friction. Harry was so absorbed, he didn't notice. He did however, give the same treatment to the other nipple. He bent low, pretending to inspect his work. From there, Harry went further up, healing his neck, his jaw. Severus moved his head to one side, stretching his neck long, giving Harry full access.

Not even pretending to cure him, Harry trailed one hand down the mans chest, stopping just above his pelvis. "Harry…" Severus breathed. The first time he had ever used that name. And suddenly everything inside of Harry was on fire and he had no uncertainty.

"Look at me" He breathed into Severus's neck. Severus turned, and suddenly they were face to face, noses almost touching. They locked eyes, Harry's cloudy with lust, Severus's wide with hunger. Harry cupped Severus's face, and hesitated, just for a moment.

But it didn't last long. He tilted his face just slightly and bought their lips together. Severus opened his lips instantly, biting Harry's, demanding entrance. Harry let out a long, low moan and ran his hand down his body, taking in every curve, every inch, every pore.

They separated only for a moment, long enough for Harry to slide under the covers. And then they were back, lips locked, bodies pressed against each other. Harry trapped Severus's leg between his own and pressed his painful erection into it, humping wildly.

Harry could feel Severus smirk under their deep kiss.

Severus's hands were on Harry's chest, desperately undoing the buttons on his top when-

There was a knock at the door. The pair pulled apart, hearts suddenly hammering for a totally different reason.

"Severus? It's me. I'm sorry to disturb you so late…" Came Mrs Weasley's voice.

"Tell her to go away." Harry whispered into Severus's ear, still humping him as much as he dared.

"Im exhausted." Severus called out. "Could it wait?"

"It's very important. I hate to ask, but...well it is."

Severus whispered softly "It might be about the war." And he grabbed his wand, flicked it at Harry and ordered "Just get into a corner. She won't notice you."

"One second." He called out to her. And Harry scrambled into possession. Looking down, he recognized the charm. He wasn't invisible, but he blended perfectly into the background.

Eventually, Mrs Weasley was allowed in. She didn't sit.

"I just wanted to talk to you about Harry" She said. Severus's heart stopped.

"Oh?" He said, doing his best not to let his panic show. He must have succeeded because Mrs Weasley continued.

"Im worried about him. He's been through a lot recently. And... I think he's getting rather attached to you. I can tell he's trying, you will...be as…understanding as you can? Try to perhaps even...be on good terms? It won't be that unpleasant, i promise."

"I am doing my best." Severus said, simply.

"I...I want to say that he was asking me about James the other day. You and James. I told him a lot-"

This was the worst thing she could have said, a rage coursed through Severus, a wild, tumultuous thing, so strong it was almost a separate entity.

"Molly you'll forgive me if i have no desire to be woken up in the middle of the night to talk about the Potters."

"I just thought-"

"I am happy to leave if you want me to, but-"

"No!"

"But i refuse to take part in this conversation any longer."

"Im sorry, Severus, i really am."

"Either you leave or I will" Severus demanded. And she did, without another word.

There was silence and then-

"I'm sorry" Harry started.

"What the FUCK were you you thinking?" Severus hissed, rounding on him.

"Nothing-

"Nothing?!" Severus demanded. He picked up his wand and sliced it through the air. Harry flinched, but it was only a disulment charm.

"I can't bare speaking to people without seeing them. But now i have to look at your father's face, clearly i should have left it-"

"Severus please." Harry started.

"How could you?!"

"I was just asking-"

"Why?!"

Here Harry stopped, uncertain himself. "I wanted to know the truth." He said simply.

"And what did she tell you, that he was a bloody hero I expect." Severus spat, raising his wand again, but Harry didn't flinch this time.

"She said she didn't like him. Didn't trust him. Wouldn't leave her children alone with him."

Severus hestated, dropping his wand slightly. Suddenly he looked very small, just one pale body standing in the moonlight, lost in fear and memories. Harry took a step towards him. But Severus raised his wand again.

"Good." Severus said stubbornly. "I would thank her, but i doubt even her words could penetrate that thick skull of yours."

Harry bit down his anger . He was certain Severus didn't mean it. "Please don't be like that." Harry cleared his throat. "Look, let's be honest. Im...really, really into you. I think your amazing. I think your gorgeous, and talented, and kind, and witty and brave and basically...all the things I want. I think about you all the time. Want to be with you. I want to make you happy. And I think...I think i can. I think we can get over the past. Do you?"

Severus looked long and hard at Harry. "There's so much to get over. You don't understand."

Harry nodded sadly. "I'm sure i don't. But I want to try. Do you?" Severus rubbed his eyes, suddenly very tired.

"To be honest, potter...i have no idea."