Hey all! I hope you're enjoying the story so far – I can't wait for you all to see what I have planned! :D
This chapter is kind of a bit short, but I got a little bit stuck. There's going to be plenty of long chapters to come, hopefully, so don't worry! :)
And just think…the angst is only just starting in this fic...
"At what point are we allowed to ask the colonists to stop breeding?"
Daniels couldn't help but laugh, shaking her head at her friend. "We can't – that was the whole point of us even coming here, remember?"
"Well, shit," Tennesee muttered, though he was grinning as he took a swig of his beer. "Don't get me wrong, I think most the kids here are adorable – but they're everywhere, you know? Every colony gathering we arrange, I'm surrounded by kids running around; almost makes it hard to enjoy a good beer."
"Almost."
"I enjoy my beer – takes a lot to ruin it," He chuckled, and she nodded in agreement as she finished her own bottle. "I'm assuming Walter got ambushed by the rugrats when you got here, right?"
Daniels found herself smiling, somewhat fondly even though a tiny part of her stirred with sadness. "Of course; I haven't seen him since we got here – a couple of the kids said something about hide-and-seek, so I guess he's still playing that."
Tennessee snorted with amusement at the image of it. "I gotta hand it to him, he's good at dealing with them; there's no way in hell I'd do that stuff. Is he any good at hiding?"
"Honestly? No, he's pretty shit at hiding," She mused. "He's a lot better at the seeking part – I think the kids prefer it when he's finding them anyway, lets them be more creative about hiding places."
"Figures that the one time he actually comes to one of these things, and the kids steal him from you," Her friend joked.
She didn't bother mentioning that the reason Walter had agreed to play with the children was because he didn't want her to be "ostracized" by the other colonists due to his presence; she had tried to protest, telling him not to be ridiculous, but he hadn't listened. As much as she hated to admit it, since their conversation just a few days previously regarding children (or, rather, the impossibility of such), things had been somewhat tense between them; he was maddeningly polite to the point that it was driving her crazy, and she could see him frowning to himself sometimes in thought when he thought she wasn't looking – it was obvious what he was thinking about.
"Danny? You with me?"
"Yeah, I'm with you," Daniels muttered, forcing herself to smile once more. "I'm just tired; I'm getting old."
Tennessee snorted quietly. "You're still young, less of the old talk – if you're old, what does that make me?"
"Definitely old," She jibed good-naturedly, laughing again now.
It was easy to laugh with him, always had been; he had that way about him, a way of making people comfortable enough to relax and unwind for a few hours – it was more than easy for Daniels to forget about her and Walter's conversation earlier that week when she was with Tennessee, if only for a few hours.
It was starting to get late, the orange of the summer evening fading to a darkening sky; most of the children had grown tired and were pulling at their parents' clothes, whining that they wanted to go home to sleep. The ones who weren't had coerced Walter into sitting on the grass with them, settling down to listen as he told them a story; he had memorised the words of many children's books and filed them away for occasions such as these. Daniels found herself watching from afar, trying not to feel so empty as she smiled sadly – so far, it wasn't working.
Shortly before it grew completely dark, one of the young couples in attendance proclaimed that they had an announcement; they waited until the other colony members had quietened to listen, both of them smiling widely with their arms around each other.
"So, we got a pretty amazing bit of news this morning," The man – Ed? No, it's probably Joe, Daniels thought absent-mindedly – said excitedly, and his wife looked ready to burst into tears. "The doctors finally gave us the news we've been waiting for since last spring… This time next year, we're gonna be parents!"
Jesus, another one? Still, Daniels clapped politely as the others (including a rather-drunk Tennessee) burst into applause and hollered. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Walter clap somewhat-awkwardly – with the replacement hand he'd been given upon the Covenant's arrival on Origae-6, simple actions such as clapping were slightly more difficult.
As everyone started to move forwards to congratulate the expectant couple, she took a swig of beer and turned to Tennessee. "Since last spring…they tried for a long time, huh?"
"What, you didn't know?"
"Tee, there's over two thousand colonists here," She reminded him dryly. "How am I supposed to know every detail about all of their lives?"
He snorted. "True, and you do hole up with Walter in that cabin most the time. But yeah," He continued before she could retort to his comment. "They were trying a real long time – turns out both of them had something wrong with them, apparently made it impossible to have kids. The whole colony talked about it for weeks."
"But they're having a baby now," She pointed out.
"Yeah, but they used one of those embryos," He shrugged, knocking back the rest of his beer. "That's what Mary Anne's been saying, at least; we've got about nine hundred of those things still in storage."
All of a sudden, a realization struck Daniels; the Covenant had transported over a thousand embryos from Earth to Origae-6, and though a few had been lost on the journey, most of them had survived. When the ship was deconstructed, they had been carefully moved to a cold storage area in the newly-built hospital (if it could be called that); she hadn't given it a thought since, seeing as it was not her responsibility any longer to worry about them.
But now her mind was racing, body suddenly feeling alive.
"Danny?" Tennessee sounded puzzled by her silence. "You alright?"
Daniels couldn't stop herself from smiling knowingly as she finished the last of her beer, her eyes bright. "Never better, Tee."
Walter had noticed that there had been tension between himself and Daniels since their conversation regarding children: it was obvious to him that she was still somewhat upset, mourning almost, over what she couldn't have – at least, not while she was in a romantic relationship with him. Synthetics were not made with the ability to procreate as they had no genes to pass on; their function was to serve until the day they were deactivated, to carry out tasks and assist their humans with whatever they needed.
It hurt him that he couldn't assist Daniels by giving her what she wanted.
He didn't want to end their relationship – it was selfish of him, he knew, but he simply couldn't help it; he had grown too strongly attached, had fallen in love with her despite his best efforts to convince himself that it wasn't possible. To leave her now, even with the knowledge that she'd most likely be happier with someone who could give her what she wanted, was not preferable – in fact, it was one of the worst things he was able to conceive of.
All of this had led Walter to feeling torn on the matter: if he stayed, selfishly, she would not be happy because she would not be able to have children, and if he left, she would be free to be with someone else who could – but she had stated that she didn't want someone else, and he had considered it highly possible that leaving her would mean making her even more miserable. It was a difficult problem, one even he couldn't work out.
For this reason, he decided that another conversation would be the best option to take; talking things out between them might make his choices clearer before he made a decision.
He had only just started on dinner that evening when she arrived back at the cabin, face alive and eyes bright; there was a bounce in her step, and she looked happier than she had done in a while. It didn't make sense to him, but perhaps she was hiding how she was feeling? It would be best to discuss that too during their conversation, he decided.
"Hey," Daniels hummed, coming up from behind and slipping her arms around his waist. "How was your day?"
"Normal," Walter replied carefully. "And your day?"
"Great!" She said optimistically. "Actually…we've gotta talk about something. Can you let dinner simmer for a while? It's important."
Perhaps she was happy because she'd finally been able to come to terms with their situation – or maybe she was feeling excited about finding someone else to settle down with. He erased that thought from his head immediately, seeing it as extremely unhelpful, and followed her to sit in the chairs in the living area.
Daniels was grinned as she moved closer to him, unable to contain her excitement. "So, last night at that party, that couple who said they were having a baby…"
"James and Sandra," Walter stated.
"Right, them," She agreed dismissively. "Well, according to Tennessee, there was a lot of gossip going around because it turned out they couldn't have kids – whether that's just gossip or true, I dunno, but Tee said something, and I had this great idea."
He tilted his head; for some reason, one of the possible things she was about to say was that maybe she and Tennessee were going to get together – he couldn't see how it would work, however.
"On the ship, we had all those embryos in cryosleep," Daniels continued. "We had about a thousand of them, I think, ready to start new lives on this planet. When we took the ship apart to oxidise, all the embryos got moved to storage in the hospital, right?"
"That's correct. There were one-thousand and one-hundred when we first left Earth," He recalled easily. "However, some did not make the journey and had to be disposed of."
She blinked, slightly perturbed by this information. "Oh. But you're missing the point, Walter!" She leaned forwards, taking his hands and looking excited. "There's still hundreds of embryos in cold storage right now - hundreds of them, waiting to be implanted and to grow…to be born."
"What are you suggesting, Danny?"
Daniels smiled. "I think we should use an embryo to have a baby."
Immediately his mind started to whir, all of his systems struggling to develop an acceptable response to her suggestion. He could only barely register that she was continuing to speak, passionate and excited.
"…They're already at the embryo stage, which means all the doctors would have to do is implant one in me," She said, her brow creasing slightly at the thought. "I mean, it doesn't sound too appealing when I say it like that, but still! It'll take a few tries to get right, I know, they have to figure out cycles and all that, but I think-"
"Danny." Walter's voice was firm, and she noticed that he was frowning. "What you say is correct – it would certainly be possible for you to have a child via embryonic implantation – but…but I don't think it's a good idea."
"What?"
"At least, not while you are with me," He added. "I do not think it would be a good idea while you're in a relationship with me."
Daniels frowned too, feeling both hurt and confused. "I don't understand, Walter… Why wouldn't it be a good idea?"
He hesitated, clearly formulating his next response carefully. "Danny, a synthetic such a myself would not make a good father."
"That's bullshit," She said immediately, folding her arms. "That's fucking bullshit, and you know it."
Walter ignored her protest. "I will admit that while I am not supposed to feel emotions, I do feel them for you – but you're the only one I've been capable of feeling such strong emotions for. Therefore, it would be highly possible that I would not be able to feel strong emotions such as love for a child, even if I wanted to: that would be unfair and detrimental on a child."
"You don't seriously believe that," She muttered, flabbergasted by this. "I've seen you around the kids in this colony – don't tell me you don't care for each and every one of them! Besides, it'd be different – it'd be our baby-"
"But it wouldn't," He disagreed quietly. "It would not have any DNA or genetic material from myself; studies have shown that human children thrive best when raised by human parents, particularly if DNA is shared."
Daniels huffed. "It wouldn't have my DNA either, you know – but it'd still be ours. It's not about DNA, Walter, it's about love and…and being there. Being biologically related to someone doesn't mean you'll instantly love your kid, or that they'll love you."
She knew this for a fact: her own mother hadn't loved her, at least not enough to stay in the picture. The memory of her mother walking out, and abandoning her and her father was still painfully prominent in her mind; sharing DNA and blood didn't mean that you'd love your child or that they would love you – she certainly didn't love her mother at all.
"Not always," Walter admitted. "But for someone such as myself, it would be highly unlikely that I'd be able to give a child the emotional support that they need."
"Walter…"
"It's not merely that. Just think about it, Daniels," He continued. "The entire colony has outcast you because you have chosen to pursue a relationship with me. It would be highly likely that a child raised by a synthetic would be treated the same and ostracized from society. Do you want that for a child?"
She stood, clenching her fists and glaring at him. "You're being ridiculous, Walter! Everything you've said is a pile of shit, and you know it!"
Walter seemed surprised by her outburst as he stood, putting his hands on her arms to calm her down. "Daniels, I'm merely trying to think logically-"
"Fuck logic," Daniels hissed, shaking off his touch. "You'd be more than adequate as a father, and you know it! I've seen you play with all the other children on this damn planet; I've seen how fond you are of every one of them, how they love you like an uncle or a friend. The children all adore you, Walter, but you don't seem to see it – and if all those children adore you, then a baby of our own would too!"
A silence fell between them as her words sank in; he tried to think of a decent argument in response, but he could think of nothing that sounded sufficient enough. Nothing sounded even remotely logical when he considered what to say.
After a moment, Daniels sighed, deflating a bit and looking down at the floor. "Look, Walter, I'm sorry. I can't force you to agree to this – that's the last thing I want. This is just as much about you and what you want than me; I want it to be a mutual agreement, not me forcing you to do whatever I say. I just thought…it doesn't matter."
"It does matter," Walter said, voice soft. She raised her head to look at him. "I…It's a rather important and highly impactful decision; you've given me a lot to consider, Daniels. I think I would like time to process and consider it first before coming to a final decision, if that's okay."
"Walter, that's more than okay," She agreed, and her eyes were tearful as she reached to wrap her arms around him. "Take all the time and think all you want. Just…please don't agree to it because it'll make me happy, not if it's something you don't want too. It has to be your honest decision, and whatever it is, I'll accept it."
"I know," He assured her gently, returning the embrace. "I will consider the offer and tell you my thoughts as soon as I'm certain on what I want. Now, however," The corners of his mouth turned up. "I would like to finish making you dinner. Is that acceptable?"
Daniels laughed softly at this, grinning despite herself. "Sure, that sounds perfect."
I'M EVIL
IT'S COMING VERY VERY SOON THOUGH, I PROMISE – it comes with a boat load of angst and tears, but it's coming! :D
Don't forget to leave any thoughts – it makes my day!
