Chapter 15: A Slight Return to Normalcy

What was left of the month of August disappeared pretty quickly. I met Harry one afternoon and we went up to Hogwarts with Reena to meet Titus to go over how exactly we would explain Reena. First of all, she needed a surname, because unlike Madonna or Cher she needed a last name to fit in. After several options that were shot down immediately, like using my name and trying to pass her off as one of my distant relatives, we settled on Smith. Didn't think anyone would have an issue with that, as there are tons of Smiths out there. They were stuck on how to get her a wand for a moment, as a visit to creepy old Ollivander was out of the question; he'd ask way too many questions and would probably figure it out somehow. Harry thought about doing some nifty paperwork shuffle and bringing her one from the Auror department that they'd confiscated but that would lead to an accounting irregularity. Finally I solved the issue by realizing that I had a spare wand at the house; Professor Eittel's wand. I thought that he would be immesurably happy to know that his wand went to Hogwarts. It wouldn't be actually used, though, as Reena said she didn't need it, but still.

Since that was sorted I started preparing for classes pretty heavily, using most of the day after spending time with Hieronymus and Virginia. It was going to be hard leaving them. At least we had Lavinia; Mel had decided that since Lavinia's day school for little kids wasn't actually up and running yet we'd have Lavinia watch the kids and work with HR. We'd had several owls from Tinney, Lavinia's aunt in Australia, that she and husband Charlie Weasley would help with the initial seed funding. Mel and I were helping as well, and Ginny Potter and even my mother-in-law, so now it was just a matter of securing a location, staff...actually pretty much everything. At least I didn't have to worry about Lavinia.

Eventually I couldn't put it off any longer, as Saturday the twenty-eighth was the day Titus had requested that I move back into Hogwarts. All of the other staff would arrive on Monday the thirtieth, but Neville would be there as we would do our best to acclimatize Reena for pretending to be a student. Initially she was excited, but when she learned that part of the illusion would be staying in the girls' dorms with other students instead of sleeping out in a tree she wasn't pleased. Mel had the usual goodbye supper for me the night before, and I spent the morning puttering around with the kids until I couldn't hold off any longer. It also gave me the chance to do something that I'd been wanting to do for ages, and finally Titus had given me the go-ahead; I'd drive to Hogwarts.

After Mel had thankfully shrunk down all of my baggage and everything else I put it in the back of the old VW van and stood there, my arms around her.

"I'll miss you, you know."

She smiled. "I know, but don't worry, Mum's coming over for supper tonight."

I snorted. "Wants to make sure Reena didn't steal the kids?"

"Hank!" She swatted at me. "Maybe...but don't tell her I said that."

"It's fine." I kissed her and pulled her close. "This part sucks."

"Yes, but you'll be home more often. Gavin said you could, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to push Titus too far asking for favors." After a deep breath I let her go and turned to see Reena talking to HR. "Ready, Reena?"

She bounded over, happy and excited for multiple reasons. Going to school with the big folk, even if they were little big folk, had her giddy. And then there was the ride. "Ready!"

"Ok, hop in."

I buckled in, showed her how to do the same, and then fired up the engine. It puttered in fits and spurts for a moment and then evened out, all of sixty horsepower ready to go. I disengaged the parking brake and let out the clutch, and as we trundled down the lane I honked the horn a few times, causing HR to jump and wave.

As we made out way towards Hogsmeade I looked over to Reena and had to stifle a laugh; she looked absolutely terrified. "It's ok, Reena, this is a slow old bus."

"But its so noisy and bumpy and..." She scrunched up her nose. "Stinky. Smoky."

"Ok, let's get one thing out of the way, I occasionally smoke in here."

"You and Cleeva need to stop that."

As I waited for a bunch of sheep to get out of the road I snapped my fingers. "That's right, I need to pick up some menthols for her. Need to remember that."

"Ugh."

We made it through the little village with no problem, not that there were many cars or trucks there to begin with, but after that? I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoyed driving through Hogsmeade. You would have thought I was driving a tank through Buckingham Palace the way everyone came out to stare. Thankfully Reena had changed into Reena Smith so everyone concentrated on the fact that a Muggle vehicle was going down their streets and not the small person in the passenger seat. I got almost to George's Hogsmeade shop when I saw him come outside and wave at me, so I pulled over to the side and rolled down my window.

"Hey George, how's it going?"

"Only you, Boyd." He shook his head. "Only you. What are you going to do, teach your students how to crash it like you did?"

"Nah, it's just a standard Muggle van now, none of Nate's extra toys. I will use it in a lesson or two though."

"Nice, nice." He spied Reena and waggled his eyebrows. "And who might this lucky little lady be?"

"Ah." I panicked for a moment. "This is Reena, she's starting this year. Went to a school in..." Shit. I'd forgotten what Harry and Titus had come up with as a cover for Reena for some reason. Shit, I had even helped come up with it and now it had sailed out of my head."

"I went to school in South Africa. Mummy and Daddy moved here but they're not sure if they're staying."

"Welcome, welcome." George shook his head mournfully. "Shame we don't have a branch down there, sure it'd be a great market." He turned back to me. "I'll send you the new product list. Warning you, though, we've got some good stuff."

I glanced up at the rearview mirror and saw we'd drawn a small crowd. "Great, thanks for the heads up, I'm sure it'll be real profitable and everything. Gotta go."

"Pleasure to meet you, Miss Reena. Don't believe everything he says about me, I'm a gentleman and a scholar. Or not."

I put the van back in gear and we headed off. I looked over to Reena. "He's neither a gentleman or a scholar, more like a perpetual six-year-old."

"He seems funny."

"Something like that." I reached over and turned on the stereo, causing Reena to immediately cover her ears. I listened for a second and realized that perhaps the first Van Halen album might not be a good choice and turned it off almost as quickly. "Sorry."

She shook her head. "I'll never understand big folk."

"Don't feel bad, it's not one of Melody's favorites." A glance in my mirrors let me know my trip was successful, as there was still quite the crowd out in the street in the rapidly dwindling view of Hogsmeade.

It didn't take long to get up to the castle; of course getting the van into the grounds wasn't going to be as easy as I'd thought. Hagrid met me out by the gate, and once that had been opened I drove over and parked by his house, off to the side, near the stables where the winged horses were kept. The noise of the van wasn't a hit with them, either, as they snorted and I heard some thumps which I took as hooves hitting walls or floors. Thankfully I killed the engine quickly and got out, Reena following suit, and went around to the back to get all my stuff.

"It's a 'beaut, Hank." Hagrid stood there, even in this heat in his full groundskeeper garb. "Think I might get a lesson er two? Always wanted to drive one uf um."

"Um..." I glanced over at the VW and did some mental calculations. "Sorry, don't think you'd fit."

"Oh well." He brightened when he saw Reena. "Ah, welcome to Hogwarts, Ambassador." He did a little wave of the hand and bowed, causing Reena to giggle.

Shit. If Hagrid knew Reena's true identity it couldn't bode well because the man couldn't keep his mouth shut. Not that he did it on purpose, but, well, he had a history. "Um, Hagrid, when..."

He waved me off. "I know, Perfesser, but there ain't no students here now, is there?" He took a few steps closer and bent down to whisper, which made no sense as we were the only ones about. "Headmaster Titus contacted me about her housing problems, don't worry, I got it covered with some help from Perfesser Longbottom." He winked at me and then puffed out his chest a bit. "Right, lots ta do before the train. Neville wants ya to go see 'im."

"Thanks." I nodded towards the castle and Reena, thankfully, got the hint.

She was almost bouncing on her feet, and might have actually been floating a bit on occasion, but I answered her questions as best as I could until we got up to the castle. She was agog at everything, and the portraits were quite interested in our appearance, but I ignored them and made my way up to Neville's quarters. A quick knock on the door and there he was, wearing of all things a rather lurid Hawaiian shirt along with equally eye-watering plaid shorts and an old pair of trainers.

"Hank, come on in, I was expecting you." He opened the door fully and welcomed Reena in.

I walked in and his place was exactly as it was the last time I'd seen it, annoying tidy with plants all over the place. As he chatted with Reena I couldn't help myself. "Uh, Nev, why are you wearing that?"

"This?" He plucked at the shirt. "Gift from Luna and Rolf. They were over in Hawaii, they're doing amazing things with lava ash these days." He saw my expression and his face fell a bit. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Not exactly, but I probably wouldn't wear those shorts with that shirt if you're going anywhere Muggle. Little..."

"Ah, little too George Weasley, eh? I'll remember that." He pointed to the little table. "Sit, sit, have a lot to cover." After we all adjourned to the table he took out a couple of pamphlets and a book from a shelf. "Ambassador Reena, may I call you Reena?" Receiving an affirmative nod he continued. "Reena, I have some administrative things to go over with Hank so I thought you might want to get to know Hogwarts. Those are some informational pamphlets we provide to Muggleborn students, thought it might help give you some background. The book is Hogwarts: A History, which should help fill in any immediate questions. As soon as Hank and I are done, though, I'll be glad to help you with anything."

"Thanks!" She paused for a moment, taking the materials, but her eyes kept wandering around his office. "Would it be rude if I asked to see your plants?"

"Of course not!" He beamed. "Please, help yourself. Oh." He leaned forward. "If you could take a look at the pots by the far window I'd appreciate it. Not doing as well as I'd hoped."

Reena didn't need any further invitation and hopped off the chair and headed directly towards the window, humming as she went.

Neville shook his head in amazement. "I never believed I'd ever meet a faerie, let alone have one look at my seedlings. Hank, they're amazing gardeners, if the tales are..."

"They are, you should see my garden. Best it's ever looked." I thought about seeing if I could dig out my pipe but based on Reena's reaction in the van decided against it. "Ok, what's the scoop?"

"We were puzzled about her housing arrangements at first. Faeries, from everything I've read, live amongst nature. How to do that and keep the illusion?" He beamed. "Had to have a bit of help from Hagrid bringing them in, but her bed will look just like any other four-poster bed, but it's actually four trees. Pots at the bottom, holding the trunks, and then the top is actually the uppermost branches, woven together. I used some really..." He paused as my eyes must have been glazing over. "I'll spare you the herbology details, but trust me, it's fascinating. The curtains work just like any other curtains, but when they're open there's a charm to make the inside look just like a regular mattress. It's actually a second canopy of leaves and branches. I'm sure she'll make it more comfortable, but I'm pretty proud of it."

"Damn, Nev. That's...badass."

"Thank you. "Right. On to business." He pulled over a piece of parchment. "Don't know if you saw the letter, with you being off for the conference and all, but the Head Boy this year is Robin Murray."

I rolled my eyes. "Shit, that's two straight Gryffindor head boys in a row. Quit hogging it."

He shrugged. "Head Girl is Wendy Barrath."

"Good. I like her. 'Bout time we had a Slytherin Head Girl." He saw my face. "I can tell you're surprised. I'm hoping she'll be in Muggle Studies for her NEWT year. Be shocked if she isn't, actually. Oh don't look like that, it's not..." I sighed. "Her dad owns one of the companies that makes magical versions of Muggle stuff, you know, like fridges and shit like that. The more she knows, the more products he makes. Ambitious Slytherin and all."

"I'm still surprised. Her family has rather the reputation, all legal, but rather ruthless in business. Glad she's one of your students, then. And for the record I think you're right, Slytherins like her can help change opinions." He stopped and got very serious for a moment, slightly scaring me. "Who's your Quidditch captain?"

"Aha!" I pointed a finger at him. "Now it really comes out. You lost to Cho last year and are worried about my 'Puffs, huh? Must be a head of Gryffindor thing, required to be Quidditch nuts. It's Autumn Winters."

"Hmmm...seventh year captain. Doesn't lead to continuity."

He stroked his chin as if debating whether or not to tell me, but I knew it was an act. "Fuck off. Who's yours?"

"Bartholomew White."

I laughed. "Sixth year, right? I think he dropped my class as soon as he could because I kept calling him Barry."

"He did mention that, but I can't understand why, exactly."

"I'll tell you later. Trust me, since he weighs about one hundred pounds soaking wet and is so tall and thin, not to mention he has that deep voice...yeah, trust me, seriously, it's funny. Ok, what else?" He got an odd look on his face, one that students had come to dread in class but I knew differently; it was the look he got when he was up to something. As I knew I wasn't going to repot anything that might eat me I relaxed. "Come on, spit it out, what is it?"

A large grin broke out on his face. "Hogwarts charter requires all students to be sorted. We're going to sort Reena."

"Really? With her being a faerie? How's that gonna work?"

"Well...how about we go see Titus and find out?"

After we peeled Reena away from the plants and I grabbed her stuff from Neville we made our way upstairs. As soon as we entered every single portrait was occupied as shortly Reena sat on the little stool in front of Titus' desk. It was quite odd, as every other person that met her, that didn't think she was trying to steal their children, was deferential to her being an ambassador and all. Titus? You would have thought he was just meeting another student. Well, he did congratulate her on a 'rather capital disguise' when she showed him her Reena Smith bit again, but other than that he was, well, his usual grandfatherly self.

I stood next to Titus as Neville put the Sorting Hat on Reena, and unlike every other single time the hat was put on a student's head we could actually hear what the hat said. Must have been the shock.

"BY GODRIC, HELGA, ROWENA AND SALAZAR! A FAERIE HAS COME TO HOGWARTS!"

Titus cleared his throat, which must have been heard by the hat because it continued.

"In all my years I never thought...well, apparently I must sort you as that's what I do, for I am a sorting hat. Slytherin is out, as you lack the traits of the house. Not Ravenclaw, though you know things that...things not usually seen in the castle. I cannot read you as the others, instead I get impressions...so Gryffindor or Hufflepuff...ah, I see something, a rather strong feeling...better be HUFFLEPUFF!"

I looked over smugly to Neville. "Hey, it's only fair, she's promised to protect my family."

-ooo-

That night was rather uneventful, except for Calliope arriving with a message from Melody that Virgil, my big grey cat, was rather put out that we'd forgotten him. One Floo trip out to Colony House and back later he paced around my room and ignored me in favor of Reena. Asshole.

The next day, and every day until the students were due to arrive, Reena spent her time outdoors with Hagrid. I spent my time doing the usual preparations, working on my syllabus, refining things, visiting with Neville and later everyone else. Cho dropped by and told me that Mike had got a job in some tv show in America for a month or two, maybe longer if things went well, and before he left she'd found him looking at cars on the internet and was quite worried because the one he'd been looking at most often didn't have any doors. I told her not to worry because it was made so the doors could come off; when we were in college Mike had an old Jeep CJ that was mostly dents and rust, but it had been a lot of fun. It reminded me of how Cori had loved that thing, driving around with the top off and the wind in her hair, and it made me feel better to know that if she wasn't here that Mike had someone like Cho.

I spent the day before the students arrived catching up with Petal Farnsworth. I still couldn't figure out how someone as great as she was could still be single, but I guess marrying a former Auror who taught at Hogwarts could be intimidating to a lot of men. I wasn't surprised that she told me that Harry had asked her to be his Auror on the inside to make sure everything went ok with Reena. She'd been a great resource for me when the giant fucking dickslap Flurbin had been headmaster a few years back, so I wasn't too worried.

And then, before I knew it, I was in my room, getting ready. I thought about having a bit of fun and showing up wearing what I usually did in the summer, a t-shirt and shorts, but figured it would cause Titus some grief and decided against it. Didn't do well to get on his bad side, not that I'd actually seen his bad side, but he was giving me a lot of leeway going back and forth to Colony House on the weekends when I could. Petal would cover for me, as usual, so I wasn't worried. Best to make a good impression on the firsties, so I put on my suit, tied on a bow tie and threw on the robe George had given me ages ago. Straightening my glasses, and wincing at the amount of white hair in my goatee, after a last look in the mirror I decided I looked as good as I was going to get and headed down to the great hall.

Cho was already in her seat when I joined her, pretty much not a moment too soon as when I sat down the doors opened and the returning students entered. Since Reena would be in Hufflepuff I looked over the crowd to find the two third year girls I would have a talk with later; I knew they would be welcoming and helpful to Reena, as they were two of my better students. Unsurprisingly Echo Fuller and Yvonne Brookside were next to each other, Echo's curly dark hair a contrast to Yvonne's bright blonde.

And then the door opened and Neville came in, leading a troop of wide-eyed first years behind him. After instructing them to stop at a certain point he brought out the stool and placed the Sorting Hat on top. I usually tune out the Hat's song, as it's a variation on the same thing, but I thought I heard something different and turned to Cho. "What was that?"

"Something about respecting all of nature, whatever that means."

"Huh. Weird." I sat there and tried to look like I didn't have a clue, which Melody would say wasn't very hard.

And then the sorting began. One of the nice things that Titus had implemented was that every head of house had a little notebook that filled in each student's name that had been sorted. It had come in useful, and to be honest I think George gave him the idea but I couldn't swear on it. Swear. That reminded me, I needed to stop cursing so much in class. This was the year I was going to be good. Really. I would.

I watched the names fill up in the little notebook and after one girl hopped off the stool and headed to the Hufflepuff table I snort-laughed, unfortunately causing quite a few people, instructors included, to look at me funny.

"Hank, what is it?" Cho leaned over. "What's so funny?"

I pointed to the notebook. "Look. John Hall and Danielle Hoates are in my house. Hall and Hoates."

"I don't get it; why that's funny?"

"Trust me, Mike'll think it's hilarious. I've got Hall and Hoates in my house and the Head Boy's Barry White."

After the last kid, some poor soul who's parents were crazy enough to name their kid Zara Zane, after she went to Gryffindor Titus stood up and had an announcement. Transfer students to Hogwarts were, well, I'd never heard of one in my time there, but he announced we had a student who would be entering the third year and had been previously sorted. I watched as Neville went over to a little room off the great hall and escorted Reena in. If I didn't know she was a faerie I would have sworn she was just a regular third year student. He introduced her as Reena Smith, informed everyone she had been sorted into Hufflepuff, and asked everyone to be especially helpful to her as Hogwarts was much different for her as she had been home-educated. My instincts were right as I watched Yvonne and Echo make their housemates budge up and gave her a spot between them. As soon as she sat down I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, thankful that, so far, everything hadn't gone to shit. Then again, it'd only just started.

The feast was the usual bang-up job by the house elves, and soon it was time for me to make my first 'Hi, welcome to Hufflepuff' speech in the Common Room. I said goodbye to Cho and Neville and made my way down there, happy to see Titus give me a very knowing nod and smile.

As I expected there was a slight crowd around Reena, but she seemed to be holding her own, so I didn't pay her any special attention and went over to Eleanor Paxton, my seventh year Prefect. "Ellie, can you get everyone's attention?"

Instead of doing a spell to make her voice loud or some spell that would make a bang she stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled very loudly. Right in my ear.

"Fuck, Ellie! My ears!"

That made everyone laugh. Great. So much for starting out on the right foot. "Ok, listen up, y'all. For you first year students my name is Hank Boyd and I'm the Muggle Studies Professor. I'm your head of house and you've probably been told everyone calls me Professor Muggle. I don't mind, really, so don't worry about it. As you may or may not have heard I really don't have any magic except for...um..."

"Lighting your pipe."

I looked over and saw Zenta Chen looking proud of herself while the other students laughed. I liked Zenta, she was bright and fun, good student, hell of a Quidditch player and had made Chaser in her third year but she was constantly pushing the envelope. Made me think of George Weasley. As the laughs died down I nodded. "Well done, Chen. At least I know you paid attention to something last year. But she's right, I can do that, but not much else. You may get teased about my lack of magic, hopefully that shit is...fuck!"

More laughs, and this time I actually saw a few Knuts being traded. Great, fucking wonderful, they were already betting on me. "That's the other thing, please ignore the language. I'm trying to get better. But back to the other stuff, if you run into anything please see the prefects, that's what they're here for. As y'all can tell I was born in America but now I live over here. I think that's enough for now. Ok, together, what's the password?" It was one of my tricks, and one of my better ones, to get everyone to say the password in unison that first night. I found it made it easier for them to remember. "One, two, three..."

"RAINDOGS!"

"Perfect. Ok, prefects, a quick word. Oh, Brookside, Fuller? You're not in trouble, just want to ask you something. The rest of you, go to bed! I'll have your schedules tomorrow at breakfast."

As the prefects moved over to a little table and the rest of the students headed up to bed Yvonne and Echo came over, both of them looking slightly worried. "First you're not in trouble. Now I saw what you did for Reena and I'm proud of you. Five points for each of you for showing how to do things the Hufflepuff way." That made them happy and I slid off my glasses. "Listen, I want you two to help out Reena when you can. Doesn't mean you have to be her shadow or anything, but she's never been to a place like Hogwarts before. Can you do that?"

"Sure, Professor Muggle." Echo bobbed her head. "That's easy. She's nice."

"She's funny, too." Yvonne smirked. "When Kim McMillan asked where she lived before she said under a rock."

That caught me a bit off-guard, because I knew she liked trees. I nodded. "Good to hear. Ok then, off with you."

I turned to meet the prefects and saw a group of girls sitting around one of the fireplaces, and started to tell them to stop blabbing and go to bed when I realized exactly who was there. Part of my Quidditch team. Autumn Winters, my captain, caught my eye and slightly twitched her head beckoning me so I went over and sat backwards on a chair, resting my arms on the back of the chair. "Ok, Autumn, what's going on?"

"Well..." She looked to some of the others and got nods in return. "I did something this summer and I'm not sure you're going to like it. Promise me you won't get mad?"

"Winters." I shook my head. "Nobody ever says that and...you know it doesn't work. What'd you do?"

"Are you gonna take away points?" Zenta looked up at me, somewhat defiantly.

"Maybe. Right now I'm wondering what the hell you did. Explain."

Autumn leaned forward. She was a tall girl, almost my height, with a slender build and coppery long hair. Freckles, not Weasley-volume freckles, with bright blue eyes. She'd been a short, dumpy thing as a first year and a perfect example of how people changed. Cracking student, as well. I watched as she debated and then, deciding, plunged ahead.

"It was at my birthday party, over the summer. You know I live out in the country, since mum and dad have a farm, and we got a game of pick-up Quidditch going. I'm going to have tryouts, just in case, but I think I have my team."

I took off my glasses and rubbed my nose. Part of me wanted to be excited, as I would have liked nothing better than to win over Neville and Cho. I didn't know the Slytherin head of house, Professor Blundel very well. He mostly kept to the Potions lab which suited everybody fine. Not that he was like Snape or anything, from what I'd heard, but he just seemed rather...dull. Which I found odd, as Slytherins were many things but dull didn't seem to be one of them. He did love Quidditch, though, so it would be nice to win over him. It would be nice to win the cup, hadn't had that happen for a while, but it wasn't right.

"Listen. Here in Hufflepuff we do things fairly. I know loyalty is one of our things, and some of you have played together before...but I expect the tryouts to be fair. Was everybody in Hufflepuff at your party, Autumn?" As she shook her head I put my glasses back on. "Then as far as I'm concerned the team isn't set yet. And I will be watching tryouts. I might even bring someone to watch just to make sure everything's above board." Looking at the long faces I sighed. "I appreciate the effort, really, and if the team's just like you think it would be right now after the tryouts then I'll be fine with it. But don't let your excitement...just wait, ok?" I looked all the girls in the face and got agreement from all of them. "Ok. Off to bed with you. Git."

They left as instructed, except for Arlene Wagner and Bellona Lindsay. "Did you two...oh, right. Prefects. Come on."

We went over to the table and sat down. I felt pretty good about my prefects. Arlene was a sixth year, a quiet girl who had dated Kelly McLarty, my other sixth year prefect. As he was sitting as far away from her as possible my spidey-sense told me they'd broken up. Bellona reminded me of Petal Farnsworth in that she was rather intense about her work, damned good at Defense, seemed intimidating but was actually the sweetest girl in her year. Caius Brooks-Clarkson, her opposite number for fifth year, was an outgoing guy who everybody liked but wasn't the best student. His handwriting was atrocious, even worse than Harry Potter's, and that's saying something. James Bollings, Jim-Bob as I called him just to wind him up, was on the Auror track. When we'd done the careers thing I'd had Petal sit in on his appointment to give him an idea of what he was in for, and he was prepared. Every now and then you meet a kid and know they're going places; that was Jim-Bob. He'd apologized for not taking Muggle Studies his sixth year but now, in his seventh, he'd asked for permission to take the class to prep for his NEWT. One of the nice things about having Harry as Head Auror is that he required Muggle Studies for Aurors. Bought him a case of firewhiskey when he did that. Finally I looked over and saw Ellie Paxton waiting attentively. Eleanor, and she hated when I called her that, Eleanor was one of my favorite students. I know professors aren't supposed to have favorites but I couldn't help it. She'd been inquisitive, open to Muggle Studies, and enthusiastic from her first day at Hogwarts. Helped younger students with their work, volunteered at St. Mungo's during the summers and planned on following her mum as a Healer. Her glasses were chunky Elvis Costello-looking things and she had a bit of a rebellious streak. Reminded me a bit of myself. With a lot more magic, of course.

All in all I was really happy with the year's prefects. "Ok, guys. I'm looking to you to help keep Hufflepuff standards. We're honest, loyal, and we do things the right way." I couldn't help it but I looked at my Quidditch players then, happy to see their embarrassed looks. "Right. And this year we've got a transfer student, so I want you to make sure she's doing ok. I asked Fuller and Brookside to help her since they're rooming with her, but if anything funny happens come see me immediately."

"Professor, what's her story?" Ellie gave me a concerned look. "It's not anything bad, is it?"

"Well..." I paused. Titus had given Reena a plausible backstory, but I didn't want to say anything the first night. The less time they had to pick holes through our story, the better. Realizing I couldn't help it I nodded. "Her parents...they were in South Africa for, um, I don't know how long, but everything is classified by their Ministry and ours. I'm telling you because you're prefects, so I don't expect to hear this in gossip between classes tomorrow. Her parents are political figures, and there's a group that's trying to...it's like the witness protection program."

Jim-Bob looked at me worriedly. "Is it the WLF?"

Fucking hell. I would have a goddamned junior auror as a prefect. "I can't say. Sorry, I can't. You know how this goes. But just realize that if her story doesn't quite add up you can't really press her on it, as she's probably making shit up as she goes."

I watched as Arlene stuck out her hand and put it on the table. "Dammit, Arlene, it doesn't count, we're not in class yet."

She shrugged. "Should be a good swearing party. Even if we are missing..." She paused. "Ten Sickles and two Knuts."

"From when I got to the Common Room?" I watched her nod. "I'll be better this year, watch." As they laughed I stood up. "Ok, you guys, you know what you need to do. My door's always open." I watched them share grins. "And I know about the window thing, too. Just because you catch me smoking occasionally doesn't mean you can get away with murder. Good night."

I could still hear them laughing as I left the Common Room. Little shits.

A/N: To be honest I've missed being at Hogwarts. Hank Boyd, Action Muggle Studies Professor is fun for a bit but Hank is, at heart, a teacher. Best to get him back to what he does best, you know, cursing in front of students.

I will admit that I had entirely too much fun making up the student rosters for this year. Hopefully I'll be able to flesh them out enough that they won't just be Student A and Student B. I blame Poesy Phillips. She'll be around eventually, don't worry.

So a bit of a slow-moving chapter, but after everything else I think it is what's needed. You can only make bargains with faeries and room with Slytherin fart cannons for so long, after all. More will happen with Draco, Harry and everyone else eventually. Don't worry.

And a special thank you to everyone at the Teachers' Lounge and two reviewers that reminded me that even though the Professor Muggle stories aren't the most popular things I write, they are very much read and enjoyed. Thank you very much.

As always, thanks for reading and review if you wish.