A/N – All flashbacks are in italics and woven throughout the story.
Title
Present Past
Summary
"If you look at today with the eyes of the past, you can never see what the present moment has to offer."
- Bryant McGill -
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In and out. Slow and deep, Regina breathed.
Finally able to catch her breath she blinked in the dim light of her bathroom. Regina crouched in the tub hidden by the shower curtain as she wiped tears from her cheeks. Calmer since discovering the shock in what should be her son's room she looked about. 'What the hell am I doing? I am a Queen and a Queen does not cry or snivel about.' Then her chest ached again. Her Mother's words, these and new ones with that last breath Cora had taken in her arms clashed. Then they drifted away and in their emptiness she carefully stood and stepped out of the tub. Turning on the light and tugging gray silk pajamas into place Regina found her reflection in the mirror.
Fingers combed her hair and she wiped her cheeks again.
Henry. She had to find her son, if he was here, but she near crumbled again and braced her hands against the countertop. Regina's heart knew and screamed the truth. He was not here. Only an egg in Miss Swan for another year yet if the date on the phone was anything to go by. Middle of October in the year 2000 and in Storybrooke that meant the dark curse was still in effect. Or something was in effect she was not sure what. A fist pounded the counter.
No Henry, curse reinstated or not did not matter in the least. He was the only one who mattered—she forced her mind to keep the long closed door on her heart shut on the other one who once had. There had to be a way back to him. Didn't matter if he wanted nothing to do with her. Regina was trying to change that. Show him she was and had always been worthy of his love. Then Mother came to Storybrooke and shattered the delicate bridge she had been able to begin repairing with her son.
But Mother was gone. Mother was dead.
Sighing in a quandary of fresh ache Regina straightened up and took another long look in the mirror. She needed more information, time to explore the town and see if this world was anything like the one that had been crafted so long ago and if it was she needed to find a way to break whatever spell had been cast to get back to her son. Cast by who, though she was unsure. Gold maybe. The way he had been looking at her in the shop before black smoke had stolen her away; pity and something else. She shook her head.
Regina almost hoped he did because the alternative of the other made the sickness she was currently feeling look like the plague. Her upper lip curled over the idea making the scar Mother gave her prominent under the light. There had been many scars throughout her life and all internal save this one. This one gained when Mother had lost complete control when she had been five. Cora's methods of punishing her changed somewhat after that. A memory she wished she could forget flashed.
"Foolish girl!" Mother's ringed hand slapped her face.
Regina cried out, tasting something warm and metallic inside her mouth. A rush of heat took over her skin and she dropped the two female dolls she had been playing wedding with in the music room. Mother was shaking her shoulders and scolding.
"You know the law! Do you want to get yourself killed?" Shaking again Cora yelled.
Regina shook her head in answer. Knew the law she did, but why was this feeling she had deep in her gut wrong? It didn't feel wrong to think of herself one day marrying a woman, but Mother said it was. A trembling hand went to touch her lip. Red on her fingertips made her dizzy and she was hauled down the corridor to her chamber by Mother sharp hand…
Regina shuddered. She was cold again and so sudden. Then something brushed against the scar on her lip. She shook the chilly feeling away, trying to focus her thoughts.
More thoughts than she knew what to do with whispered in her mind. Regina shook her head to clear it of fog. Her vault. She would start there. Fingers curled into fists. Tight and then she released them with a controlled breath. There was just one little problem. And said problem banged twice on the door startling her.
"Regina? I know you're in there."
The call, and tremble filled, from her dau— from Snow made her skin crawl with the pain of past. That small voice made another memory from the past rush forward and Regina squeezed her eyes shut as it surfaced in mind.
Regina stirred in her bed, eyes opening to the vastness of the dark room. The only light came from the coals in the grate. Castle White was much more drafty and cold than her family manor and she drew the heavy goose down blankets up closer. Then she heard it. The smallest of knocks on her chamber door. Brow furrowing at who would disturb her this late at night. King it couldn't be, at least she hoped. She had left him hours ago passed out on his bed after he had spent himself in her. Shivering at the idea Regina reluctantly slipped from the bed, wrapping the thick shawl from the chaise at the foot around her shoulders as she went to the door. Cracking it and peering out into the corridor yielded nothing.
"Mother?"
That tiny tremble filled voice made Regina's chin dip down and she opened the door wider seeing Snow White standing in the drafty hall barefoot in nothing but a thin cotton shift. Then the title the child has used registered with her and she sighed, still getting used to the new word her marriage had forced on her a few weeks ago.
Unsure what the Princess wanted new Queen crossed her arms against the chill. "What are you doing up at this hour?"
Teeth bit a lower lip and Snow's hand fisted to rub a damp eye. "Bad dream and it's too dark to sleep. I just wanted…"
Regina softened considerably at the sleepy fear in that voice and the tear tracks on a little face. A quick look out her door and sure they were alone Regina slipped the shawl from her shoulders and leaned to drape it around Snow's shivering ones as she drew the child into her room. She closed the door and led Snow to her chaise near the fire. Sitting the girl there she set about restocking the grate. When flames were full and rising Regina sat down next to Snow and took those cold feet into her lap.
As she rubbed warmth back into white skin, she thought about how to respond to the fear of unrest in the green eyes watching her. Regina had no experience with what to do with them. Never would she have ever considered as a child going to her Mother for comfort in the night. Especially at Snow's age of five. Snow should have long outgrown the need for such cosseting. That was the way of their world. By three children were well weaned from it.
Then Regina remembered her promise to herself not react to a situation with Snow based on what her Mother would do or the views of their society. Snow was her responsibility and right now she could not deny this child comfort when it was apparent to her to be needed. Trusting her instinct she began to speak.
"When I was about your age I had a terrible fear of the dark. I never liked to be alone in it." Beginning a story Regina had near forgotten as the tears on Snow's cheeks began to slow. "My Father often traveled, like yours does, and on one journey when he returned he had brought me a stuffed toy horse." Smiling softly at the memory. Her Father's sweet gift was her greatest childhood treasure. Mother had given him hell after the fact, but for some reason she had been allowed to keep it. "From that night on I always made sure my horse was tucked into my bed with me and even when I woke up in the night and it was dark, I was no longer afraid because I was not alone."
Snow wiped at the last of tears falling. "Like you gave me Mr. Thumper?"
Thinking on the toy rabbit she had gifted the child weeks ago Regina nodded. "Yes, just like Mr. Thumper." Then doing something she had never done and never in her memory had been done for her, she leaned in and kissed the child's forehead. "Come. Let us go and find him and get you settled back in bed…"
Opening her eyes, now wet again, Regina took a deep breath. Another knock came. Then she unlocked the door and hesitated at the sudden stillness on the other side. Cracking it open carefully, she flinched as crystal smashed against the door jamb sending water and shards flying and all over the carpet.
Snow watched stunned at her action as water dripped down the wall and door frame. Feet soaked and covered in flecks of white, her eyes darted to the Queen equally in such a state of shock. Then Regina took a step toward her and Snow froze when her plan or whatever it had been in her panic failed. Bathroom door opened all the way and Regina gave her what she could only describe as a veiled look, maybe even disapproving, yet Queen made no further move forward. Snow stepped back anyway and right onto something else that was sharper than she thought those dark eyes to be.
"Ow!"
Glass caught the bottom of Snow's foot and she stumbled forward. Little hands whipped out to catch her fall heading right for a pile of shards. Eyes slammed shut. Suddenly she was scooped up under her arms by familiar yet alien hands and tossed like a sack of potatoes away from the danger to the bed in the middle of the room. Snow scrambled upright after landing on her side. Attention was pain filled and all her focus moved to her bleeding foot.
Regina shook out her hands and she realized they were shaking of their own accord. Hugging herself to hide the fact she stared at Snow on her bed. Space to think invaded and a mess at her feet she readied a remark on her tongue until she saw the blood.
Precious life drops staining carpet and her silk bed spread. Lost for a moment in time Regina blinked. Hard. 'Like her blood had stained a black coat right before she…' Blinking again she swallowed down her new loss. More than one loss in her life had ended that way. She took a moment to think of Daniella and shook her head. Time to grieve and sort through her scrambled emotions would come. Right now she had a bigger, or rather littler problem and trouble glared at her from across the room. Arms crossed, Regina's slippers stepped around the glass and slowly approached the bed. Pausing as the girl shied back from her.
"Are you—"
"Stay back!" Snow's voice cut the silence, but not the tension.
Sighing and biting her inner cheek, Regina considered the situation in its entirety as she studied the floor, what she thought she understood of it anyway. Child knew her and sought her out even if it was to try and hit her with the globe she now recognized as one from the Enchanted Forest. A gift she had given Snow their first Yuletide together and child had adored her for it. Bending when something caught her eye, Regina picked up the little brown and white horse pair that had called the miniature stable in the magical snowy water globe home. Hand painted she had them made to match their horses; Roscinate and the mare, WinterStar, Snow was so fond of growing up.
Globe thrown was childish defense at its best and that meant Snow was scared. Of her she suspected or of waking up in such a state of shock here. Using the bitter tone she felt right now would get them nowhere and Regina dropped the horse pair in her pocket, tapping her foot in wonder if Snow even had an adult mind in that little body. Softening some at the idea of that not being the case. If so, the child in front of her didn't deserve her anger over the actions of the adult. Regina dropped her arms in favor of inquiring about the injury until said child spoke.
"Where are Emma and Charming and Henry? What did you do to them Regina?" Snow forced bravado, though her heart beat in worry. It must have shown on her face as Regina did not try to come closer. She wondered over that response.
Adult words from that little pink mouth ruined everything.
So the child not a child in entirety did have all memories and that would make things so much harder for them if they were where Regina now suspected they had ended up. "I have no idea where they are and if I had my son there is no way we would even be having this conversation." But how true that was with the child Snow was in front of her currently she didn't really know. Tears stung her eyes and Regina willed them away, frustrated. "I woke up here just as shocked and apparently clueless as you." Sighing. 'Okay maybe not that clueless.' She thought, pacing now. "Some spell, something happened after you k—" Fists clenched again. Shaking. "And we are here, back in time before Emma broke the curse."
Grown green eyes flinched and then the little girl inside Snow made them narrow. If all the memories in the shared head with her adult side were true then the woman in front of her was not the one who had saved her life or the one she used to call Mother. That woman and that life were gone and here she was stuck. Childishness spoke for the anger in the moment. "You're lying."
Snapping around as if she'd been slapped Regina stormed over to the bed taking a dimpled chin in hand. "Does my face look like I'm lying, Princess?"
Paling more than her fair skin possibly should be able to Snow took in the truth rimming wet brown eyes. Shaking her head no, she winced as her foot once again got her attention. Regina let her chin go and she dropped eyes to the bed as they filled. Response to quiet under that rebuke confused the hell out of her and her stomach twitched over the tangle of emotions that followed.
Queen sighed, finally seeing Snow fully for the first time. An adult trapped in child's body. A child with a bleeding foot on her bed. Now crying. 'Damn it.' She thought and ran her hands through her hair, then dropped them at a loss for what to do. Want to wipe those tears away splashed across Regina's numb mind and she rolled her eyes at that reaction. Snow, in child form or not, was still Snow White. They had long been lost to each other and here it seemed with all those memories that was still the case. And Snow had just tricked her in a way most cruel before she had woken up to this fresh hell.
Snow looked up torn watching the Queen watching her as she sniffed back her tears. Crying wouldn't help. Nothing would, she was sure, or so she thought when Regina walked away. Confused when a small tear slipped at the fact. Dropping her head Snow examined her foot closer for a minute and tried to best figure out how to get the tiny shard of glass poking her heel out without cutting her fingers.
"Enough crying." Regina sat and tapped her lap in wait. "Give me your foot."
Jerking her chin up, Snow tried to understand what Regina was holding and why the woman she should be running from was sitting on the bed looking at her with such expectation. "Huh?"
Ignoring the noise, Regina settled the girl's foot on her thigh and gripped an ankle firmly. "Don't move or it will get lodged in deeper. Do you understand?" Forcing some warmth when she felt completely numb and she asked only to avoid the dramatics that usually followed anytime Snow had been hurt in the past and she had helped with the aftermath. Regina could handle a lot of things right now but more tears. And that was true for both of them.
Fidgeting on the rumpled bed, Snow nodded, teeth caught her lip as tweezers worked her foot. Surprisingly with a tender hand she remembered too well. She tried to stay still under Regina's eye and hissed as the glass piece finally came free. It was set in a tissue and tucked into the gray robe pocket Regina wore. Breathing again and then jumping when an alcohol wipe swiped the bottom of her foot. Still, Snow bit down her cries and sniffles as a band-aid was placed on the cut.
"I'm sorry Regina." Whispered words tumbling from Snow's mouth splintered between them and were out before she could fully process what she had even said. And she was sorry. For way more than for just breaking the snow globe.
They stared at each other.
Regina's jaw twitched.
In another life the red lips parting to speak would have kissed her cheek and given a story to distract from pain. Here they leaked the hard truth of reality in what she had done and from them Snow wanted to hide away.
"Words will not fix what is broken." Stiff and standing Regina slammed her eyes shut against the little green ones filling.
The aftertaste of her words said should have felt satisfying, but they only felt like gravel in Regina's mouth. Bitter and sharp when a part of her didn't want to be. Taking a step back she opened them again. Snow was still looking at her; pleading for understanding and she wanted to soothe the little ache there. Those eyes shouldn't have that power over her anymore, but they did. And that reality terrified her.
Snow's ears stung and when her vision blurred Regina away she lowered her eyes back to her foot. One finger gently stroking the band-aid. If only it were that simple to tend the cut keeping them apart.
When those eyes dropped Regina could breathe again. For now. And now it was time to move into action. She had to get answers to the why of waking here. "Get up, find some clothes." She directed and the child stared dumbly at her, seemingly startled. Going to her closet Regina didn't bother giving a reason for her command. She simply expected to be obeyed. Snow in this form was apparently her responsibility and as such the very least the Princess could do was listen.
Snow edged off the bed, tender in foot and heart. Frowning as she watched the walk in closet door close after the Queen. Sighing she went down the hall and to a room, her room it seemed, and paused in the doorway remembering the reason she had ran to begin with. Scared she had been, but now she was just feeling hurt. Adult rationale took over her little fear again. Taking a deep breath she let it out as she neared the closet that had slammed shut of its own accord before. Biting her lip, her hand hovered over the knob and yanked it open.
Just clothes.
Some hangers touched gently from her fast motion and she sighed in relief. Snow rifled through the many dresses and skirts until she found one that wouldn't entirely make her look like the child she was, but only just. Managing to get the nightgown off, her fingers fumbled with the zipper of a purple skirt. She was able to fasten it and tug a white sweater with a classic peter pan collar over her head. White tights from a dresser and boots from the closet followed and she started back down the hall, but hesitated.
Not ready to give up on the idea that her daughter and husband were somewhere in Storybrooke in spite of the Queen's explanation that they were back in time. Quietly and quickly she darted down the stairs, looking for a phone. Land line or cell it didn't matter. Nothing in the foyer or living room, she went to check the kitchen. Finding it after going through the archway in the dining room Snow looked about.
There was a newspaper on the counter and a broken mug on the floor. What looked like coffee splashed across the tile among shards. So she hadn't been the only one to break something this morning. Shaking her head, Snow saw the prize of the moment on the counter. Grabbing the flip phone she opened it and dialed David's number.
'The number you have dialed is out of service…' Recording mockingly spilled into Snow's ear.
Hanging up Snow tried Emma's cell next. Same recording and she jammed her finger on the end call button. Face pink with upset she stared at the phone screen. The date finally registered and her heart sank. Then the time did and she knew she better get back upstairs least Regina come looking for her and find her snooping. Thoughts of running from the mansion came and went. In this form she was in Snow was sure at this point that Regina wouldn't hurt her. Those brown eyes that had taken her form in upstairs and tended her foot said as much even though the words between them so far had been heat filled.
For now she would get further understanding of this mess she'd woken up to if she stayed. Regina clearly wanted answers and Snow suspected she'd find them too if she managed to stay out of the Queen's way, but watchful. Putting the phone back exactly where she had gotten it Snow went upstairs much slower, back down the hall, and stopped just shy of the master bedroom door.
"Regina?" Calling softly as she peeked around the door frame.
Closet door was wide open, but Queen's en suite was closed. Stepping into the room, Snow paused as glass cracked under her boot heel. Remembering her fit, suddenly the little girl in her was guilt ridden over that and the adult of everything else that had happened before they had been transported.
She couldn't think about that now. Not yet. Snow went back down the hall to what she suspected to be the linen closet, but that first door tried led to a guest bedroom and she closed it. The second yielded better luck. Little eyes saw a vacuum and unsure of modern machinery despite what her adult mind knew of it, she reached for a broom and dust pan instead, and set to work on the mess she'd made.
Regina emerged five minutes later wearing fitted black slacks and a red silk blouse. Hair neat and makeup in her cool winter signature tones. Red lips frowned as Snow crouched nearby reaching for the base of the broken globe with a jagged edge of glass still clinging.
"Stop right there." Tone snapping made a little hand jerk back and Regina moved quickly pulling the girl up to stand. Hands on both shoulders Queen leaned down to be eye level. "Did the cut on your foot teach you nothing?"
Letting go when Snow's lips pursed back Queen took the broom in hand and the dust pan filled with some glass into her bath room. Dumping the contents of pan in the trash she went back out, past Snow and into the hall. Returning with the vacuum and set it at the tight lipped child's feet. "You have to vacuum glass, sweeping it on the rug only scatters the shards and they will get stuck in the carpet."
Little Snow's arms crossed. "I was just trying to help. You do not have to be mad about it and everything else besides it all."
"Help? You made the mess to begin with." Scoffing Regina crossed her arms. "And now you may clean it up." Ignoring Snow's other implied meaning and waited.
An adult mouth spoke next. "I tried and you got all puffy about it. Just use your magic to make it go away."
Little nostrils flaring back were not at all amusing. Regina chose not to give that comment legs and her brow arched naturally at the challenge coming from Snow. That usually never failed in their past to get the Princess moving. Here it did nothing but redden little cheeks under hard green eyes edging on the uncertainty of soft.
Chided the way that she was, little Snow almost backed down but big words pushed back. "I was scared and that's why I threw it and you—This isn't my fault. A lot of things are right now, but being here as we are is not one of them!" Emotions welling Snow let them go, both the shamed adult in her. "I'm sorry." And the hurting child raging in need of a hug. "I hate you too!"
"Duly noted Princess." Unable to help the comeback and once said Regina regretted it. She was the adult right now in both mind and body no matter their circumstances. But before she could speak again little feet were running from the room.
Down the hall Snow slammed the door and then the one to her bedroom too. Throwing herself on the bed, she began crying. For herself, for her missing family, and for the woman down the hall whose heart she had broken in Gold's shop. Fists pounded the bedspread and she grabbed for pillow, but a stuffed toy, a gray rabbit with big floppy pink ears and a matching nose found her hand instead.
Wet eyes opened, taking in the soft fur between her fingers and wondered what he was doing here. Then shrinking back from it when she recalled just who had given it to her in another life. Throwing it away Snow curled up in a ball and sobbed. Big fat tears dripped as the memory fighting to surface in mind took over.
"He's so soft." Stroking gray fur Snow gave adoring eyes to the woman sitting next to her.
Regina smiled. "What will you call him?" Shifting to move the gift box and ribbon off a lap to the bed behind them.
Brows knitted together in thought over green eyes and then Snow held the rabbit up to her ear and listened as the Queen watched her. She wasn't sure with what; a question or perhaps vague understanding. "He says his name is Mr. Thumper."
"He does?" Asking again with a soft laugh, Queen seemed amused by her answer.
Then the back of Regina's hand was brushing her cheek gently. "Mhm." Snow agreed and leaned into the affection, just as that hand left. Leaving it felt wrong. It should stay there, she thought and ever bold said as much in her own way. "I like when you do that."
And the Queen became very quiet and Snow bit her lip in case she had said something she shouldn't of. She was always doing that it seemed the last year, saying or doing the wrong thing. Maybe now with Regina being here that would change. She was tired of being looked at as broken, less than somehow by her Father and the staff since the death that had stolen the woman who had given birth to her. She had cried many a night in her grief a year ago and since, according to their laws she was being schooled in by her tutors, she was not allowed to speak of the dead woman.
"Well." New Queen began rather thickly. "I believe it is time for your riding lesson anyway." And stood.
"Wait." Snow took that hand and held, bringing it back to her cheek to rest for a moment and surprised when she was allowed to. Then she wiggled off the bed and reluctantly let go, following in step alongside her new Mother.
As the memory faded Snow had no idea how much time had passed but when her ache turned to sniffles she found comfort in tracing the embroidered flowers on the bedspread as she had done as a child the first time around. Shivering again under the reality of who had stitched them into place, she knew this bedspread and more and more the things in this room were glaring of the broken past long lost between a secret told and a curse cast.
Whomever had cast this spell, no curse, and it was blaring that Regina did not, knew her. Some things about her anyway and their past. The bedroom door opened and heavy eyed Snow regarded Regina on the other side of the frame. Amber eyes just as red as her own looked down at her.
Pain equally matched and screamed in the silence.
Regina stepped into the room, heels coming to rest at the foot of the bed where Snow lay in a heap. Beckoning with a finger for the child to sit up and glad for both of them when it was done. Shirt Princess wore was mussed and she reached naturally to straighten the collar. Her fingers went to the base of the neck where a purple ribbon lay yet to be tied. Working it into a bow she pulled the ends, though not too tight as she remembered Snow loathing that feeling, freezing then at the gesture too familiar. Regina dropped her hands as Snow yanked the ribbon loose again.
Still to Snow's great surprise Regina held out a hand open for the taking. Giving one last stitched flower a comforting stroke, for luck or something else the Princess eased off the bed. One step forward by the Queen had brought them ten steps back as Snow gave that hand held out a wide breadth as she stepped into the hallway towards the stairs without a word.
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After cleaning up the broken mug and coffee mess in the kitchen Regina had made a new cup. Coffee was a gift and she needed as much as she could get this morning and a chance to wake up properly before taking a trip to the vault. Now little boot heels tapping against the tile drew her attention from her place sitting at the counter. A bitter grimace was on Snow's little face as the girl stared into a white cup.
Princess had insisted on having coffee 'like I do every morning' and Regina let that battle go in her want of silence as she tried to think out her plan for the day to figure this nightmare out. Snow's squeak of displeasure caught her attention. Amused slightly by that little face when it became apparent that taste buds did change with age.
Snow made a great show of grimacing and standing on tiptoe to dump the mug's contents in the sink and after went to the fridge. Opening it, she could feel Regina's eyes on her. Reaching for what looked like orange juice she pulled the carton down. Studying it as her little eyes struggled to read the label she groaned and put it back. Orange Apple Splash. A sunny poison. Moving things she continued looking; apple sauce, apple butter, chicken apple sausage…
"Does everything in here have apples in it?" Grumbling, then Snow hunched her shoulders realizing this was the first she had directly spoken to the Queen since that hand had been held out. She was still puzzling over the why of that gesture.
Silent Queen remained so and returned to reading the paper. Not actually reading it, however, she had been stuck on the same paragraph for ten minutes simply observing Snow. Fridge slamming jarred Regina's senses. Frowning, when she heard Snow's stomach growl or maybe the girl actually did. Ill amused even more when she saw the seven year old body Snow was trapped in begin cracking eggs in a bowl and then those little or big hands she was not sure moved to turn on the stove.
Regina stood.
It wouldn't do for the house to burn down with them in it. That's what Regina told herself when she took the bowl and pan from the questioning Princess and began cooking them breakfast. "I suppose I should feed you something." She commented finally, as if Snow were a stray seeking a meal.
Adult green eyes rolled and Snow backed away from the stove as Queen took over.
As Regina worked her mind drifted. For as long as she could remember Snow had always loved the kitchen. Cooking especially had been a secret interest of them both. The few times she had been able to make arrangements for them to bake together at Castle White when Snow was young had always been met with such delight by the Princess and for her, she realized as she waited for the egg to firm.
Regina had always tried to allow what she could back then when it was safe to do so. Always careful too for them not to be caught. But Snow had been caught when the child had wandered there a few times on mornings her Mother made inspections of staff in the castle kitchens and that had not gone well for either of them in the least. Regina flipped the omelet as she shifted thoughts. A simple thing like cooking reminded her of Henry. He had adored cooking too.
And Henry wouldn't like it if Snow returned to the present less than healthy, especially under her care. Vulnerable and they both were here, she had to keep the Princess safe. Regina sighed. At the thought of his face, she set the spatula down and closed her eyes for a long moment. Getting her balance again she returned to the task. Two plates were set out next to the pan and Regina gave pause at just how they got there before placing the eggs, one, on each. Little hands took one plate and walked away into the dining room.
Good. At least she could eat in peace. Regina settled back in her place at the counter, rim of her coffee mug against her lips when she heard feet approaching again. Snow stared at her with a mix of wonder and uncertainty it seemed. Then Snow plate sat down two stools over and began to eat. A fork scrapping good china set Regina's teeth on edge. Giving annoyed eyes, she pointed to a plate.
"What?" Snow said with a pouch of food stuffed in each pink cheek. Her gaze followed the finger to her plate and then back to the Queen. "They're good and I don't like to eat by myself." Shrugging she went back to her meal. 'I thought you would follow me into the dining room anyway.' Ran through her mind. She hadn't expected Regina to eat at the counter so informally. Her mind clashed with an extremely formal past and a not so formal present it seemed. Slouching and fork scraping again she rolled her eyes.
And it was Regina's turn to roll hers after. "Honestly. I know I taught you manners at some point." It spilled so naturally and in it she felt sick.
Snow was not fairing much better upon those words said and purposefully sat up straight. She made a point of not touching her flatware to the plate as she finished eating. Regina had taught her that and many other things. Only one or two she wished she could forget when they had been at the worst of their odds, many others she knew she never would and she wasn't sure how that made her feel. Done Snow rested her hands neatly in her lap and simply sat in wait for Regina to be finished. She remembered that lesson well.
One taught the day after a banquet with many important guests her Father had invited. It was the first time she had been allowed to eat with the adults instead of in her nursery with Joanna. Her Father had tasked Regina with preparing her for what to expect, to teach her the manner she was expected to behave that night as a Princess of the White Kingdom. Queen had helped her dress in her best gown, walked with her hand in hand at her insistence even though that open affection was frowned upon to the hall before it was dropped and eyes fell over them both critically. She was presented, fawned over and now Snow realized with fresh eyes how no one had paid the Queen any mind that night as the memory came into focus.
Regina sat quiet and doting through the lavish meal as was her Father's expectation in the first seat on his left side. Snow was also on his left in the second chair. All the women in attendance were and the men in a line along the table on the right of the King. Whenever she was been unsure of what to do Snow looked sideways under her lashes and some quiet hint or cue was given by the Queen. She liked the praise she was under from the guests visiting and the silent praise given with amber eyes. For her beauty and pose she was fawned over.
Then the conversation shifted to taxes and the spring harvest coming up. She sat waiting under Regina's occasional smile her way. Then Snow was bored with the talk she did not understand. Having finished eating the last course before the adults and wanting to move Snow stood to leave. Her want to go play as was her habit after eating with Joanna took over. The room went quiet as her chair squeaked on polished marble. Snow paused and dipped into a perfect curtsy as she remembered to upon standing.
The look Regina gave her with a side glance was confusing, but she couldn't read it and suddenly she wanted away from the other silent eyes in the room on her. Slippers moved back three steps before turning her back. She remembered that too and thought Regina would be proud of her for it. As she approached the doors to the hall and went through them, something striking echoed in her wake. She did not make much of it then.
Later that night she didn't understand why Regina did not come to her room to say goodnight like on most nights when it was sure they would not be caught. She hugged Mr. Thumper close in the pitch of dark. Always Queen left a light for her after tucking in, but tonight there was no light and she slept fitful for it. The next morning she also didn't understand the stiff way the Queen seemed to be sitting at the smaller family table off the main hall they used for breakfast with just the three of them. Her Father gave her a smile when she entered to sit and then ignored her entirely.
But Queen hadn't and greeted her with a small smile. After their meal Regina pulled her aside off to the small library near the Queen's chamber to go over dining etiquette. There was to be another dinner that evening and Regina kept on her in a serious manner until she could recite verbatim all the rules of dining decorum from her mouth an hour later on cue. Spoken to for her breech of action the previous night in standing to leave before she had been excused Snow promised to try harder to remember. Kissed on her forehead and hugged she was then sent off to play. She skipped to the chamber door and opened it and immediately stilled at who was on the other side.
"Good day Grandmother." Automatically Snow dipped into a curtsy and waited a full breath before rising. The woman in black, always black. seemed to appraise her critically. That was a look she was still getting used to even after a year of living with Cora at the Castle. Maybe she never would.
"Where are you off to Snow?" Cora asked.
But Regina answered the dark woman for her. "To the nursery to play Mother." Then with a softer tone Snow was learning was reserved only for her. "Go along now. I will fetch for your lessons later." Snow looked over her shoulder with a small grateful smile and quickly ducked out of the room, but not before those midnight skirts rushed by her and went for her new Mother.
"Have you corrected her deplorable display last night already?" Cora asked.
Snow's cheeks turned pink, but she kept walking out of the chamber. Faintly she heard Regina's reply before the door began to close. "That is between her and me, Mother."
"Is that so Regina?" That wicked question slammed the door on Snow's back.
Little Snow rubbed her head as she stared at her empty plate, memory leaving. She wondered then what had driven the Queen to push so hard for her to remember all those rules that day past. The memory was crystal clear now. Where before when it had just been in her adult mind it had been hazy. Now knowing what she did of the experience of her adult side's memories, Snow thought she might now understand the why of the plea in amber eyes at the banquet. But that meant… 'No my Father was a good man. He would never… Would he?'
"Snow?"
Shaking her head Snow chased the memory away and gave troubled eyes to her M—. She blinked in correction of the present. To Regina. "What?" Then changing her mind under those questioning eyes as the past pushed in again. Little one spoke clearly. "I mean, pardon me. Did you say something?"
Regina wondered at the clarity in that tone and stood, taking both plates as Snow watched her carefully. Then she understood the formal correction the child had made and the why of who exactly had made it. Stiffening under the memory. Her back was to the child as she set plates in the sink and she gave the cue she realized Snow had been waiting for. "You may be excused." Though, Regina excused herself right out of the room instead.
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A/N – Hope you liked it! More on Saturday.
Next time – Regina and Snow discover something startling. Snow has an idea and is pleasantly surprised by Regina's response.