Chapter 15

"Fall of the Third Candidate"

"I know what you are thinking," Wonka remarked as Charlie and Grandpa Joe rejoined the rest of the candidates in the chocolate egg room. "They can't be doing what their doing, but they are. I haven't met the Oompa Loompa yet who could do it. These are the geese that lay the golden eggs. As you can see, they are larger than ordinary geese. As a matter of fact, they're quadruple size geese which produce octuplet sized eggs. They're laying overtime now for Easter."

"But Easter's over!" cried Mike only for Wonka to shush the boy and cover his mouth.

"They don't know that," he whispered. "I'm trying to get ahead for next year."

"What happens if one of them breaks, Wonka?" asked Mr. Salt as the Oompa Loompa's were covering the laid eggs into a gold wrapping.

"An omelet fit for a king, sir."

"Are they chocolate eggs?" asked Veruca.

"Golden chocolate eggs," Wonka explained. "They're a great delicacy."

Suddenly, Wonka noticed the Teavees getting too close and stopped them with his cane.

"But, I wouldn't get too close, the geese are very temperamental. That's why we have the eggdicator."

"The eggdi-what?" asked Mrs. Teavee.

"The eggdicator," Wonka answered. "The eggdicator can tell the difference between a good egg and a bad egg. If it's a good egg, it's shined up and shipped out all over the world. But if it's a bad egg…down the chute."

No sooner did Wonka say that did an egg end up down the chute and into the incinerator.

"Mr. Wilkinson," said an Oompa Loompa who was holding Veruca's coat and hat. "I have the spoiled brat's coat and hat."

"Why do you think she'll need it when she hasn't even done her test of character yet?" I wondered. "Still, it's better to be safe than sorry, I suppose. After all, the spoiled brat will demand just about anything that's out there."

Almost as if on cue, Veruca began her demanding rampage.

"Hey daddy, I want a golden goose!"

"Here we go again," muttered Charlie.

"All right, sweetheart, all right. Daddy will buy you a golden goose as soon as we get home."

"No, I want one of those!" Veruca protested.

"Wonka, how much do you want for the golden goose?"

"They're not for sale."

"Name your price."

"She can't have one."

"Who says I can't?" Veruca snapped.

"The man with the funny hat," replied Mr. Salt in a low tone and with those words Veruca went about a tantrum, destroying everything the Oompa Loompa's worked day and night on to prepare for Easter and beyond.

Finally, she stepped onto the eggdicator and right away, the eggdicator measured her as a bad egg, sending her down the chute.

…

"She was a bad egg," Wonka remarked once Veruca had disappeared.

"Where's she gone?" asked Mr. Salt.

"Where all the other bad eggs go, down the garbage chute."

"The garbage chute?" chuckled Mr. Salt. "Where does it lead to?"

"To the furnace."

"The furnace?" Mr. Salt remarked nervously. "She'll be sizzled like a sausage."

"Well, not necessarily," Wonka replied. "She could just be stuck inside the tube."

Those were the words that sent Mr. Salt into a panic.

"Hold on, Veruca! Sweetheart! Daddy's coming!" Mr. Salt yelled as he went down the chute and was measured a bad egg.

"There's going to be a lot of garbage today," Wonka remarked.

"Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted," added Grandpa Joe, stunned by what he saw.

"What's that?" asked Charlie.

"Veruca went first."

"Mr. Wonka, they won't really be burned in the furnace, will they?" Charlie asked, showing great concern for his fellow candidate.

"Hmm, well that furnace is only lit every other day. So, they have a good sporting chance, haven't they?"

…

Sure enough, the spoiled rich girl and her father were sent down the garbage chute and into the garbage room, landing in a pile of rotten eggs while I looked on in disappointment and disbelief.

"Veruca Salt?" I asked, looking down at them as they struggled to get out of the garbage. "I'm Arthur Wilkinson, vice president of Wonka incorporated. I'm sorry to say that you are no longer considered for the lifetime supply of chocolate."

"That doesn't matter!" cried Veruca angrily as she stepped out of the garbage bin. "Look at me! My hair! My dress! You'll pay for this!"

"Oh no," I replied, unfazed by the tantrum this girl was putting on. "The only one you'll be paying for is for your own selfish nature, Ms. Salt. Give Miss Salt her coat and hat, please."

But Veruca was still not backing down.

"Daddy, I want to sue this factory," Veruca snapped at her father who was just as covered in garbage as she was, but it seemed for the first time in his life, Mr. Salt stuck in his heels.

"Veruca sweetheart, you'll get nothing of the sort," he said firmly to his daughter. "The only thing you are getting…is a bath."

Snatching his coat as well as his daughter's, the dirty rich man and his spoiled brat walked out escorted by a pair of Oompa Loompa's.

Now, there were only two more candidates left. However, looking up at the screens, I couldn't help but notice Wonka was starting to show signs of tension. Even though it was all planned out on what would happen to the candidates, something was ticking inside of Wonka and was close to exploding.

"Something doesn't seem right," I thought to myself. "He's feeling tense. Keep an eye on him."

Ordering the Oompa Loompa's to do what they were told, I immediately proceeded to the taffy pulling room to await perhaps the arrival of the fourth failed candidate.

…

"I don't understand it, the children are disappearing like rabbits," Wonka said, trying to hide his growing tension. "Well, we still have each other, don't we? Shall we press on?"

"Mr. Wonka, can't we sit down for a minute?" moaned Mrs. Teavee, feeling exhausted from all of the walking that they had all been doing. "The pace is killing me."

"My dear lady, transportation has already been arranged," Wonka reminded, helping Mrs. Teavee back onto her feet. Leading them into another room, they came up to a strange vehicle being loaded with strange liquids. "Behold the Wonkamobile, a thing of beauty is a joy forever. Places, please. The dance is about to begin."

"What is that they are dumping into it, Mr. Wonka?" asked Grandpa Joe, curious about the liquids.

"Oh, ginger ale, ginger pop, ginger beer, beer bubbles, bubble-ade, bubble cola, double cola, double bubble, burp-a-cola, and all the crazy carbonated stuff that tickles your nose. Few people realize what tremendous power there is in one of those things."

"Sorry I asked," he replied softly to Charlie.

"Everybody set?" Wonka asked as he powered up the machine.

"Will this really work, Grandpa?" Charlie asked.

"Of course, Charlie. It's got more gas than a politician."

"Now hold on, I'm going to really open her up and see what she can really do."

As the vehicle moved, the remaining candidates had no idea what was about to happen as foam started to come out of the moving vehicle.

"Swifter than eagles!" Wonka shouted. "Stronger than lions!"

No sooner did he say that did large bouts of white foam came blasting out of the machine covering Wonka and the remaining candidates. While Charlie and Grandpa Joe took it well, Mike and Mrs. Teavee on the other hand did not.

"I'm sending you the cleaning bill, Mr. Wonka!" shouted Mrs. Teavee and right away, they went through a cleaning machine that made them all clean in an instance. "Dry clean?!"

"Hey grandpa, what was that we just went through?" Charlie asked, turning back to look at what they just went through.

"Hsawaknow," answered Wonka, stopping and turning off the Wonkamobile.

"Is that Japanese?" asked Mrs. Teavee.

"No, that's Wonka wash spelled backwards," answered Wonka as he got down from the driver's seat. "That's it, ladies and gentlemen. The journey is over."

"Finest bath I've had in 20 years."

"Let's do it again sometime, Mr. Wonka."

"You mean that was it?" remarked Mrs. Teavee.

"Couldn't we have walked?" added Mike.

"If the good lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates," Wonka said to the Teavees before directing them to put on white suits. "Now, would you please put these on? We have to be very careful. There is dangerous stuff inside."

Sure enough, the fourth of the five candidates would become the next to fall…