Chapter 8 – Escaping the City.
The next morning, Jay had kept his promise and drove Lexi to his Grandfather's cabin. Jay had taken her home first to pack a few things, she had waited in the car and asked Jay to knock on the door to ensure Kelly wasn't home before going in. Jay didn't question her; she would tell him in her own time, but he knew it was must have been bad. Lexi had called Voight and told him she needed some time off and where she would be if he were to need her. Hank had been very understanding, as Lexi knew he would be and told her to take as much time as she needed. As soon as she finished her call with Hank, Lexi turned off her phone which didn't go unnoticed by Jay.
The first half of the journey had been in relative silence, Lexi looking out the window and Jay concentrating on the driving. The silence was nice, they had been on many stakeouts together, so they were used to each other's company, it wasn't an awkward silence. Although Jay wanted to talk to her, he wanted to know what happened to make her show up at his place? What happened to make her kiss him the way she did? He also wanted to apologise again for kissing her, he wasn't sorry for the actual kiss, just the circumstances in which it happened.
Jay put on his turn signal to change lanes on the freeway and checked his mirrors one last time before manoeuvring the car to the other lane "I can do some of the driving if you want," Lexi suggested.
"When do I ever get to drive you around?" Jay asked chancing a quick glance over at her, she hadn't taken her eyes off the scenery outside the window, which was becoming greener the further they got out of the city. He put his eyes back on the road.
"Kelly cheated," Lexi announced seemingly out of nowhere. Jay didn't react, knowing she had more to tell him but the anger boiling inside him made him grip the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white. "The night before last, he didn't come home. I figured he was at Casey's or slept in his car after leaving Molly's too drunk to drive" Jay couldn't decipher what she was feeling, her voice was emotionless, almost robotic.
When she didn't offer up any more information, Jay asked, "How do you know?"
"He told me, showed me the evidence" Lexi inhaled sharply, she refused to cry, Kelly didn't deserve her tears, she didn't have enough tears for her sister and Kelly, not right now. "Told me he couldn't look at me, couldn't see her each time he looks at me, right before he left, he told me it should have been me"
Jay shot his head around to look at her to see if she were serious, momentarily forgetting about the road, her expression told him she meant every word. Jay returned his gaze back to the road and used his turn signal to pull off the road in to a rest area.
Jay pulled the car in to the first free space he found and killed the engine. He removed his seatbelt and turned in his seat to face Lexi, "You know that's bullshit right?"
Lexi didn't move to look at him continuing to gaze out the window watching an elderly couple on a picnic bench eating sandwiches and drinking tea from a flask, "uh huh" Lexi nodded unconvincingly. "I called my Mom before I came to yours last night, told her what had happened, what Kelly said…" Lexi couldn't hold the tears in anymore, they flowed freely "she said she understood, it made sense that he feels that way"
Jay took her hands in his "Look at me" he demanded. Lexi turned her head but not her body in his direction "That's complete bullshit, all of it. Kelly's an ass, he doesn't deserve you, he never deserved you. It shouldn't have been you and I'm happy it wasn't," Jay sighed knowing that sounded heartless. "I know that sounds awful, but I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you"
Lexi took her hand from Jay's and wiped her eyes, "thanks Jay"
"I'm serious, you've seen me at my worst, and you've always been there to help me through whatever was going on and I'm going to do the same for you," Jay assured her.
Jay gave Lexi some time to compose herself and then they were back on the road in comfortable silence leaving Chicago behind them.
Jay was contemplating everything Lexi had revealed, furious at Kelly for cheating and saying the awful things he had said to her, the woman he was supposed to love. Jay was confused too, had the kiss been all about Lexi getting payback on Kelly? Was it just a comfort thing? He didn't want to believe Lexi had only kissed him for the human contact.
Jay yawned at the computer screen in front of him, he was watching surveillance footage looking for the suspect of an armed robbery. It was long and boring, and Jay was tired. He had had a long weekend, he had drove Lexi to his Grandfather's cabin, spent two nights with her then drove back late last night. He was functioning on about four hours sleep and sipping his third strong coffee, he hadn't slept well, he had been too busy worrying about Lexi.
His desk phone rang, the display told him it was the desk downstairs. "Halstead" he answered.
"Jay, I have Kelly Severide in Reception" Platt told him, "asking to speak with Lexi."
"Okay, I'll be down in a second" Jay confirmed before putting the phone down. Jay didn't want to talk to Kelly, he had nothing to say to the guy.
Jay walked down the stairs looking through the cage he spotted Kelly standing by the door. Kelly walked over to him as Jay got to the bottom of the stairs, practically standing nose to nose Kelly spoke quickly "I don't want to talk to you I want to talk to Lexi!" Kelly tried walking around Jay up the stairs "LEXI" he screamed up the stairs.
Ruzek and Atwater began descending the stairs at the sound of Kelly's voice, knowing the situation was going to escalate.
Jay pushing Kelly back down the few steps told him "Calm down, she's not here!"
"Get your hands off me" Kelly swung his fist and connected with Jay's right eye. Jay didn't hesitate he retaliated and punched Kelly in the face. A scuffle ensued before Ruzek and Atwater broke it up, Ruzek holding Jay back and Atwater restraining Kelly.
"I just need to see her, I need to talk to her" Kelly stated pulling himself from Atwater's grasp and standing straight staring down Jay. Kelly had arrived home the day after the funeral and found all her clothes had gone.
"I told you she's not here" Jay told him straightening up his shirt.
"Then where is she? I went by your place she's not there"
"She's out of town for a while, getting her head straight" Jay informed him. "Cheating boyfriends and hearing she should have been the one to die messed her up a little!"
Kelly sprang for Jay again, Atwater and Ruzek's reflexes caught them both before another fight broke out. "ENOUGH!" Platt shouted standing in between them. "Get out of here before I charge you with assaulting a police officer!" Platt told Kelly pointing towards the door.
"I'll tell her you stopped by!" Jay called after him as Kelly backed towards the door.
End of week one at the cabin.
Grief hits us all in different ways, we all cope differently. Or we don't cope at all. Lexi dealt with grief almost daily as part of her job as a Detective of the Chicago P.D. Intelligence Unit. She had served death notifications, sat with family members whilst they cried, watched them get angry, tried to help them make sense of what had happened in the blink of an eye.
Lexi sat curled up on a chair on the deck of the cabin, with a soft white blanket draped over her, a hot mug of coffee warming her hands as she looked out at the lake a few yards from the cabin.
The silence was broken by the sound of a car engine, it startled her, she hadn't heard any traffic in the week she had been at the cabin, it was almost an alien sound, in the picturesque surroundings. It was peaceful here, quiet, a break from the city, it was hard to believe she was only a 3-hour drive from Chicago. Here, was a cabin in rural Wisconsin, the cabin belonged to her partner Jay Halstead, he had inherited it from his Grandfather when he had passed a few years previously.
The black Jeep Wrangler came in to view and Lexi smiled knowing who it was.
Jay got out of the car and looked around catching sight of her. "Hey" He smiled sweetly at her.
"Hey yourself" she replied returning his smile as he walked up the three steps on to the deck, Lexi stood and hugged him, taking in his scent. "What are you doing here?"
"I've got a couple days off, figured I'd bring you some supplies, keep you company" Jay came out of the hug and held her at arm's length, assessing her. She didn't look good, she looked tired and weak.
"You didn't have to do that" she said disengaging herself from his grasp, nervous at how he was looking at her, like he almost knew she hadn't been taking care of herself. She had spent the week drinking coffee during the day and switching to tequila as soon as the sun set, eating very little and not sleeping much at all. Jay didn't look that great either, he had a black eye and split lip.
Lexi and Jay sat beside each other at the breakfast bar, both drinking a bottle of beer, Jay breaking down the week he had had at work, everything Lexi had missed.
"And the black eye?" Lexi questioned "which charming criminal gave you that?"
Jay looked down at the beer bottle in his hand and began peeling the label, without looking at her he said "Kelly and I crossed paths"
Lexi shook her head and sighed, she got off the bar stool and went to the fridge, if they were going to talk about Kelly Severide, she needed something stronger than beer. "Do I even want to know the details?" Lexi retrieved the bottle of tequila from the back of the fridge and two short glasses from the cabinet.
"Probably not" Jay answered as she returned to her seat beside him. Jay studied her face as she poured them both a shot of tequila. He didn't want to ask his next question, but he had to know, the detective in him made him curious "Have you heard from Kelly?"
Lexi shook her head, "No, not sure what I'd say if I did" she told him as she pushed his glass over the counter towards him.
"I can think of a thing or two"
Lexi ignored his remark "Gabriela called me to tell me he'd put the apartment up for sale and she had all of Shay's stuff, said she'd keep it safe until I was ready to sort through it" Lexi took her shot of tequila.
Jay watched her closely, "When was the last time you ate?"
"At lunch"
"Tequila isn't lunch" he chided her, she was lying to him, he knew it. "Have you been sleeping?"
"Don't start Jay," Lexi stood from her stool, not wanting a lecture.
"Oh, I'm going to start" Jay stood, grabbing her arm as she passed him "I didn't let you come here so you could drink yourself stupid. That is not the way to deal with everything."
"THEN WHAT IS?" Lexi shouted snatching her arm back "THERE'S NO GOD DAMN INSTRUCTION MANUAL, SO YOU TELL ME HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO DEAL!"
"I've been where you are, I've lost people too" Jay told her calmly.
Lexi began to cry, Jay embraced her and held her tight, she put her arms around him "I don't know how to do this Jay, help me."
"Ssshhh, ssshhh" He soothed her stroking her hair as she cried in to this chest "I'm here, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I'll help you, whatever it takes"