A/U- Happy Tuesday. Sorry it's a later post tonight - life happened.

Hope you all enjoyed the long weekend. Thank you for your reviews and kind words. I hope you like this next part. Feels ahead.

Title:

Heart to Heart

Summary:

"The heart of a Mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."

– Honore de Balzac—

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Snow sat on her bed hugging Mr. Thumper as she waited for Regina to come and get her. Her clean white dress clung in places still damp from her bath in her haste to do as she'd been asked. Fingers twirled the end of her pony tail Regina had done up for her that morning as her mind began to drift. Left with nothing to do but think about her actions she realized her mistakes of the day. And was becoming anxious over the aftermath to come. Not for fear of Queen's response, but for the pain she'd caused Regina. She had not thought beyond getting the Queen to the stables and she hadn't planned on getting carried away; literally on a horse. Mostly she did not plan for the sore look that had taken over Regina's face once they got home before the woman hid it from her view.

In little Snow's memories she recalled but very few times she could clearly read Regina's emotions. The adult mind she shared had said that was because of the conditioning of their world. Regina had been taught as she had been so carefully to control displays of emotion. Behind closed doors, just between them, it had been different. And Snow remembered fondly a different Queen in those moments.

The Queen of past had a smile that lit up a dark room like a new candle flame. A smile that Snow knew was reserved only for her and would be there no matter what the day had held. The woman who had raised her had a deep laugh with a warm hint of husk that always lifted her heart when they'd play. The kind that wrinkled the entire face pink with joy and made ones stomach roll, even under the tightest of corset laces. Big Snow realized then another important lesson Regina had taught her early on their relationship as that image of a laughing Queen filled her mind. One that could have gone very differently had the Queen not found the humor hiding within what should have been a moment of disgrace for her in their world.

But Regina was different.

So different, Snow realized, than any other noble woman she'd remembered growing up. Most of them had been ridged and stuffy. Strict demeanor too, much as Cora's manner was on one of the rare kinder days. Snow's heart pinched over these new thoughts. Her childhood could have been much more traditional had the Queen chosen to raise her strictly under their world's ideals. Instead there had been pockets of that special different woven in; of stories, walks, games, being tucked in, or her favorite of sitting on that lap to be held.

For a moment Snow let her mind go within the memory…

Snow turned side to side in the full length looking glass as she'd seen the Queen do when trying on a dress. Or she tried to as her legs drowned in an ocean of blue silk. She huffed when her feet got tangled up and tried to push up the sleeves of the great gown far too big for her five year old body. Then she adjusted the diamond tiara that dipped crooked across her forehead further back on her head of curls. Something was not quite right about her look she decided. Something was missing.

She moved slowly back across the room careful not to trip on the dress to climb up on the padded chair next to a table full of decorated bottles and jars. Trying one with what she knew to be perfume she gave the soft ball attached to the bottle a squeeze and sneezed when it sprayed right in her face. Coughing she set it aside with a scowl thinking it ever so sharp and musty smelling. Or maybe that was just the way it had gone up her nose and stung. There was a red paint like substance she'd found in a little silver pot next to a bunch of different sized brushes. Snow picked up one of the brushes and dipped it in the red paint before bringing it to her mouth. She painted a red ring on her lips and leaned back to look at her appearance. Satisfied she looked like her new Mother she went back to the mirror and tried another curtsy.

So into her play was she, that Snow didn't register that the chamber door opened and closed until a she heard a pair of slippers walking toward her. She froze when they did. In the mirror right behind her stood the Queen. Snow felt her heart quicken as worry of wrong doing filled her stomach. At this moment she was supposed to be taking her mid day rest. Not playing at pretending to be Queen in her new Mother's chambers.

It had been three weeks since the woman gazing at her in the looking glass reflection had moved into the castle to assume the role of the dead queen. The woman who bore her she was never to speak of. But this woman looking at her now had a title she was still trying to remember to use. Regina—Mother—was teaching her many new things and there were new rules she was also learning to follow. She had yet to be in any real trouble for breaking any of them. But right this moment she had broken a few she was well aware of and in this realization she paled and was about to plea for understanding when she saw a smile flash on the woman's face. Then a small pretty laugh like a bubbling brook singing on stone filled the silence before the Queen approached further.

"My dear Snow what a sight you are." Regina said as that smile softened to return to the straight face void of emotion Snow was used to.

"I'm sorry." She stammered taking a step back and tripping on the hem of the Queen's dress she'd been playing in. Stumbling only to be caught about the waist and steadied, Snow bit her lip. The tiara she was wearing slipped from her head and fell on the rug between them. With it falling she felt her eyes welling up with tears. Now she was in disgrace for sure and real disgrace for the first time with her new Mother. "Shall I go to your library?" A formal question to what she expected a formal answer. She'd been told that is where such talks and corrections to her deportment would be had.

"We will speak on your question in a moment."

And to Snow's surprise she was helped out of the dress she was swimming in and watched as it was hung back up in the wardrobe after being examined. The tiara too was picked up, looked over and returned to its proper place. Anxious she became in wait as the Queen went to the basin and jug in the corner of the room to wet a cloth. A moment later Regina was leaning down and cupping her cheek. Her mouth was wiped free of the red paint she found so pretty. Soiled cloth was put away and then woman she was still trying to figure out sat on the cream chaise near the fire and beckoned her near. Snow moved quickly to obey, stopping three paces in front of the Queen and dipping into a nervous curtsy. She tried to stand straight with her hands clasped as Regina had taught her.

"No, little one. Come here to me and sit."

The cushion right beside wide silk skirts was patted once more and Snow moved forward immediately. It was not until she was perched that she realized what she'd been called. A tiny smile formed on her lips at the unexpected affection and she found she rather liked it very much from her new Mother. Then she remembered her lessons and lost her smile for a dipped chin and eyes as she waited for the Queen to speak.

"Give me your eyes please."

And Snow gave them. Wide and waiting.

"I think I understand what happened, however I would like to hear your reason for being here when you should be in bed resting."

Snow began to explain her play and her desire to pretend to be Queen. As she finished her story she thought she saw the hint of a smile on red lips once more and found hers wanting to hint up too as she wrapped up her tale.

"I see and how did you find the experience of being Queen?" Regina asked and turned more towards her.

Snow licked her lips in thought. Knowing honesty was expected she went with her first thought. "Heavy and ever so smelly." Remembering the perfume and then to whom she was speaking when she realized she had forgotten the title due the woman who was now smiling again ever so brightly and laughing once more.

"It can feel like that certainly." Regina affirmed as laughter became contained. Amber eyes were soft though and Snow found herself leaning in to be closer as the Queen took her hand. "Though next time you wish to play at being Queen in this way you will need to ask before using my things. Also, before coming into my chamber. You are not to enter unaccompanied by myself. Is that first understood?"

Snow nodded eagerly.

"Respond properly please."

At the patient prompt that had been common, but less it was used the last week as she was getting better at remembering, Snow replied. "Yes Mother."

"Good girl." Praise had Snow sitting up straighter and beaming under those two words. "You are also not to leave your bed when you are taking your mid day rest. We have discussed this once before and why you are not to wander about."

Snow sucked in her bottom lip but brief as her hand was taken gently.

"This is the only time I am able to let this action go. Do you understand?"

It went unsaid for why, but Snow knew it was in part that no one else had caught her during the misdeed. Regina was ever so patient. Her new Grandmother was not at all however and she was not keen on earning that dark woman's disapproval, nor her Father's. Today it seemed she'd been forgiven and in that forgiveness within this private moment shared between them she sprung forward and wrapped her arms tight around Regina's neck.

"Yes Mother I understand." And she buried her face into the cascade of dark curls that smelled of apples and lavender. Just like her new stuffed rabbit friend did. Finding comfort there she simply enjoyed the feel of the arms around her. She liked the way she was petted and how she was not scolded for wanting affection.

"Now, let's get you tucked back into bed for a bit and perhaps later after your lessons we may take a walk in the orchards and you may tell me all about your ideas on what you think being a Queen is really like."

Snow grinned easily into a shoulder. Regina was different than most adults she knew and Snow wondered just how much so as she was held close to a heart she wanted to better know.

Images of past rolled like the things called moving pictures here in little Snow's head; vivid and clear as if reliving them. She wondered if it was her young mind and the fact that it had only been two years for her versus her adult mind since this event happened. And too she wondered if Regina's memories worked the same way here. Before for Snow as an adult they were foggy at best. Now they were striking in their clarity and she realized each time they took over how much more understanding she had over such events.

But understanding did not matter if Regina—the Mother—she once knew only existed in the past.

Then there was a knock on her door and the door opening caught her full attention back to the present. Snow stood out of respect for the adult entering her room. Courtesy to do so natural, especially when she felt off about her actions. She also figured she could do that much for the trouble she'd caused today. On her feet still hugging her rabbit she waited for directions.

Snow's attention at the side of the bed was not lost on Regina. Stiff over the old world custom of it, though knowing the child had meant it out of respect, she held out her hand. Snow hugged the stuffed toy tighter once and went to set it aside. Then Regina did something she had never done on the bridge of their ritual to come. "You may bring him, if you wish." The ease of the small palm slipping into hers gave thanks and she led them down stairs and into her Study. Door closing put them both in their places on the rug.

Regina looked down at the little girl. Snow stood as once before straight back and hands clasped in front of her with Mr. Thumper tucked between them. Green eyes wide and forward, waiting for her to begin. She wasn't sure if it was the simple expectation of the rightness of their places from Snow or if it was the addition of the rabbit or the wet eyes watching her that made her take a step forward. But step Regina did and take back up the little girl's hand, leading them to the couch.

"Come here to me." Coaxing gently when child seemed to hesitate.

Snow's brow wrinkled in confusion. They always talked before a correction and she felt even more confused when she was lifted under her arms to sit on a lap. And more when tears fell down her cheeks and she was held quietly as they did so. Comfort came after. That is how things were done between them. But right now it felt wonderful to be held in her upset. Relaxing there she tried to begin explaining herself.

"I only meant to…" But without Regina's usual questions she felt lost. So her hands played with floppy gray ears instead as the Queen's hand began to run the length of her back. Then the lost feeling went away for something else Snow realized she'd been missing for a very long time.

Regina took a long moment to simply feel the child sitting on her lap. The way Snow fit there just so. How little feet tapped together as they always did when child sat perched. Fond fingers absently combed through the end of Snow's pony tail as the girl leaned back into her touch. A big step for both of them here, this tender affection. Then green eyes looked up in askance and Regina began where she thought they needed to. "When I arrived at the stables, Mr. Jettson or rather Master Jefferys mentioned you stating you were waiting for me." Regina directed. "Start there."

"He asked where you were." Small and quiet Snow sounded and her chin was lifted, she sensed, when Regina couldn't hear her so she spoke up. "I knew you would know where to find me and only thought that if you came to the stables you might remember something nice about it instead of…" Trailing off under amber assessing her.

"What I do feel." Finishing for Snow, Regina let go of that chin and sighed as those feelings began throbbing all over again. "Which is extremely unpleasant young lady. There are several matters we need to discuss before we get to your consequence and those feelings. Both your feelings and mine." Acknowledging both, for both were important to bridging the gap still between them on this matter of many. "Leaving campus without supervision and permission is not alright. You and I have discussed leaving lessons before. The Castle or here makes no difference to that conversation. Anything could have happened to you and here even more so."

Hugging Mr. Thumper once more. "I was careful."

"Really?" Regina challenged softly.

A challenge right back, but not so certain any longer under the eyes on her. "I was so."

"I fail to see how running away from a safe place where you were supervised, across town—across streets with cars and nearly breaking your neck on a runaway horse has anything to do with being careful."

Snow's lips rolled in staying there as her cheeks turned pink. Maybe her actions hadn't been the best choice to get the attention she wanted to where she felt it was needed. "I'm sorry I made a terrible mess of things."

"Some unsafe choices were made and I have said it before and I will do so again. Other people are affected by your decisions. Many today were. Going forward you are to be where I expect of you at all times. Is that first understood?"

Nodding. "Yes Ma'am."

"No exceptions Snow." Regina stressed and saw in green she was understood before continuing. "Then there is going into the stables and getting on a horse without an adult. Riding is not a game and on a horse without proper tack or supervision is dangerous and a foolish risk of your life." Scolding tone unable to be helped, but the left over worry in her eyes softened otherwise. "What were you thinking?"

Little lips mumbled and tried again when a dark brow arched in wait. "I thought it would be pleasant to ride and show you what I remembered when you came. I did not think WinterStar would run like that. I did not kick my heels or anything. She just took off." Ending in a whisper as Regina's thumb wiped a tear from her cheek. She leaned into the warm touch unconsciously.

"Her tack was too loose. You forgot to fasten the bit straps correctly at mouth and the bit was under her tongue when it needs to be over it. When that fell you lost control." Regina explained the reason she had observed during the rescue today.

"But I remembered to signal properly and…"

"And any direction you would have given before it fell, the horse would have misinterpreted because it was too loose and she was uncomfortable. She is also used to a saddled rider, not bare back. That is a very different type of training for both you and the horse."

Sitting up Snow braved a question. "May I learn?"

Regina shook her head, turning Snow so she could better see that little face. "Not bare back, no. Though, before this catastrophe of a day I had been thinking on your words this morning about wanting lessons."

"You were?" Surprised and brightening.

"I was, however the choices you made today put serious weight against any readiness on my behalf to allow you them just yet."

Then wilting against a chest. "Oh." Snow's hands twisted again. "Perhaps you will still consider them another time."

"We shall have to see and discuss it later." Thinking on that, Regina sighed at the wide sorry eyes looking up. They reminded her of Henry and she began to rub Snow's back once more to soothe. "You had a lot of people worried about you today. Your teacher, the school personnel, Master Jefferys, and myself."

Snow sat back up, meeting softer eyes. "You were worried about me." Almost a question, but not quite so as it once may have been.

"Of course I was. I got a call from the school saying you went missing." More than worried she realized. Regina took back up a little chin. "As part of making this situation right you will be writing a letter to each the school and Mr. Jettson, apologizing for running away and for the latter of entering the stables and taking the horse."

"I will." Then Snow found herself being lifted under her arms and stood up. "Nor will I run again." Promising when Mr. Thumper was set aside on the couch. "Or ride without you or permission." Then hands were at her waist holding her close.

"I am glad to hear that Snow and I am sure you will make better choices in the future." Regina assured. "Still because you put your safety at such risk I cannot let the events of today go."

Quiet. "I know." Safety, honesty, respect, and obedience were the main rules crafted between them long ago she knew she was bound to.

In the moment for how they were and where Regina decided on something. "In light of your reasoning and sincerity I will give you a choice on your consequence, letters aside."

Little chin snapped up. "A choice?" That was new. She had never been given a choice on such a matter before. Never considered the possibility of one in a state of disgrace. Regina always decided. Adults always did in her world. But this was not her world and that registered in a way she was unsure of when Regina spoke.

Nodding. "You may choose between no outings the rest of the week. The house and school only or a correction."

Lips sucked in and Snow held them as she thought; knowing a visit to the hospital and another meal a Granny's were both a strong possibility this week. She detested being cooped up inside and of course the other choice. Both were also strong deterrents not to repeat her offenses of the day. Snow rocked on her feet thinking and now uncomfortable in the choice given.

She had caused a lot of trouble today and she wanted to make amends. To show she understood and accepted her mistakes. As Snow was she only knew one way to do that and was not sure the other option would provide her with the relief of guilt she sought. Mind made up little Snow chose what made the most sense to her, what was familiar and what she understood for what it had meant between them in the past. And in answer Snow took a step closer, little hands resting in a royal lap in wait.

Regina understood the gesture for what it was. Despite the choice offered, she more so than not suspected this answer from Snow. What had worked between them to mend any upset or imbalance to their relationship was what the little one relied on from her in the past. Here as they were now it appeared that was still the same and Regina responded in the certain and formal way she always used.

Snow found herself guided to go over a lap and like before when she had earned a place here her dress was lifted onto her back. Folded ever so neatly there to wait as a familiar arm wrapped around her waist in assurance. But she was not made to wait as Regina began. One of seven to come made her eyes smart. Not for sting, but for the follow through, for the promise of who that hand speaking is. Two made her eyes close to the room as she focused on feeling. Crying began at three as she hid in her arms sniffling as her face reddened. A welling ache she could not explain was forming warm in her stomach. Rising, rising up in her throat, and out of her mouth with four and one more when a hand rested after five.

Still tears fell down Snow's cheeks and not just for her actions today.

Regina watched Snow carefully as she always did during a correction. Opening like tight petals of a bud the child was under her hand. Like always their way connected them and like always she still questioned the ways of their world.

But this.

This was between them and meant something entirely their own. Relying on it as Regina had then and now opened both their hearts to receiving the bond beyond blood; of daughter and Mother. "Do you understand the gravity of the risks you took today little one?"

Affection added to the question had more tears flowing as Snow nodded. That hand patting gently and unexpectedly as the affection warming her ears, it helped coax her words up and out. One nearing and at the last moment she swapped it out. "Yes Mo—a'am."

Regina stilled, unsure if she had heard right. Almost, but not quite there. Progress. "You had me very worried about you when I heard you were missing and even more when I saw you on that horse. I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to you." Pausing as her throat worked. "Never again Snow."

Firm in too many feelings Regina finished what she had started with one more firm to each cheek blushing. Snow cried quietly over her lap. Great little cries near silent and full with an asking she was trying to find an answer to give. Lifting she stood Snow between her knees. Smoothing the white dress and Snow's hair to right. And in her uncertainty of those the tears streaming down that face Regina relied on a part of their ritual strong between them.

"I'd like you to reflect a moment—"

But before she could finish Snow threw arms around her neck, nearly choking her and ritual be damned Regina went first with her heart and scooped the little wet mess of girl into her arms. Child sat straddling her lap breathing in quick shallow bursts against her throat. Hers working and thickening with emotion.

"I'm so—rry." Snow tried to say. Small and sure, but broken in the middle as she felt over her mistakes of the day, she meant it. Said for the day and for one day so long ago she had wished to forget for the price paid by the arms around her. "Please I'm so sorry." Holding tighter, repeating again and once more as she was somehow pulled in closer, tighter as her back was rubbed. Fingers stroked her hair and she was rocked as tears kept coming. They wouldn't stop. Snow wasn't sure she could stop them if she tried. So she let them fall and gave them willingly to Regina to hold for her.

Regina felt Snow's sorrow drip down her neck. Felt her own filling again in her chest. Holding, she opened up to a piece of the past, bringing it to the present moment to share. "You are forgiven little one."

Breath caught and child sniffed. Gripping the back of a blouse as her eyes blurred again as the adult in her surfaced for a moment. For everything, Snow wondered. "Really Regina?" And then the arms holding her tightened, but only for a moment.

Feeling the shift and who was asking. And more importantly for what Regina only could tuck Snow in closer as she kissed a wet cheek and kept rocking. One word almost ready stuck in her throat.

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Dinner was quiet. Too quiet for little Snow's liking, but she tried to keep it that way for the manner Queen was in. Rest of the evening spent on homework and helping prepare their meal she shuffled around and around on her plate. Tried to eat and did a few bites, but she was more than done with attempts.

Regina eyed her charge, fairing no better in her own meal. Taking a bite in hopes Snow would too she chewed and swallowed before gesturing to a full plate. "You need to eat Snow." Lunch long ago and child had to be hungry.

Pushing the plate away Snow sat back. "I'm not really hungry." Then wanting to hide away from the day and the unsaid. "May I be excused? Please?"

Relenting Regina nodded once watching as Snow cleared the plate away and left to go upstairs. She managed a few more bites of her meal and gave up entirely. By the time she had set the kitchen to order and wrapped the leftovers the clock was chiming 8:00. Taking off her apron and folding it to tuck in the pantry she went upstairs to help sort Snow out for bed. But when she came to the pink room the lights were off save the one in the hall. Girl was passed out hugging the bunny, trails of tears still damp on cheeks.

It was then in that moment as she watched Snow sleep, that Regina Mills became tired of the price of tears. Cost too great and stepping into the room both of her children called home it hit her what her purpose was here to do, what Mother may have meant in the letter by giving her back the rest of her heart. Heart pounding Regina laid a kiss good night to black curls as dark as her own, resting there for the scent of white roses that followed the child everywhere. Backing away she cracked the door as she left down the hall to her room.

Door closed she paced the space as the aching organ in her chest slowed down. Long and slow she counted the beats for several minutes that turned into an hour. Finally ready she called out. "Mother?" A cool draft when no window was open passed across her skin. Goosebumps under silk she hugged herself in wait. She wasn't kept waiting long as a shadow caught the corner of her eye. Turning, Regina fought to keep the fullness of confusion and anger down in her core at the sight.

Mother appeared, more than a pair of eyes transparent sitting casually on the lounger in the corner. Same auburn hair swept up high on the crown of a head. Blue eyes piercing over a straight red line. White skin and striking in midnight silk hugging every curve that once had all the men in the kingdom on their knees begging for taste of that mouth or more often, begging for their very lives. Many lives taken by those deceiving hands. Daniella's life, her Father's too.

Regina blinked, but the image did not go away. Only solidified in her moment of hiding. She backed away, crossing the room to sit on her bed as her Mother watched. Calling, but unsure of why she had only just thought she might be answered. Ice crystals began poking up through the carpet in the room and frost growing on windows hid away any moon light trying to break through. Regina could see her breath forming in small puffs from her nose. Shivering she fought not to show her fear as well as her unrest over the hands now clasped neatly in a dark lap.

Ringed hands she used to long for affection from. One kind touch. Last and only one given when those hands had left life and her behind. And before forced her to a marriage she had never wanted. Forced her to live a lie against the very grain of her nature. For all the pain and heartache those hands represented, she wondered why she still longed for a kind touch from them?

"Must you stare so?"

Jumped. Right out of her skin. Regina leapt violently back on the bed against the headboard. Wide eyes and lips parting, she closed her mouth tight and opened in question. "You can talk?"

Chuckling mysteriously Cora nodded. "It took some time to gather back all my strength once the dark sleep came upon me. Yes dear daughter I speak and I feel just as you do." She stood.

"No." Regina's hand went up and out as she stiffened. "Stay right there." Then unable to help herself. "Henry?"

"He is safe and right where you left him."

Tears welled wanting to believe those words for a moment in relief, and then tension returned. Close enough Mother was and this solid ghost could surely wring her neck for what was said last time between them. For words she said when she thought it was finally safe to do so. Still Mother took another step, but to the side toward her door instead of forward. Action set her heart racing and Regina's feet moving to stand in front of the door, blocking exit to the little one sleeping down the hall.

"You needn't fear me." Cora opened her hands to the room. "Or Snow for that matter."

Regina flinched at the gesture. Even from across the room, she recoiled. "There has never been a reason why I shouldn't." Then sinking back down against the door and down when her legs gave out to hug her knees. She added the title ingrained from birth that she had yet to understand the full meaning of. "Mother." Great black skirts swept back and Regina saw her Mother do something she had never imagined possible.

Cora sat on the floor, back resting against the lounger eyes level now with her daughter. Rather uncomfortable but she didn't say so. Instead she said something of much more bearing. "No, I'm not."

Regina's neck nearly snapped in two, fast as she turned. Warmth of hope stole the chill from the room. "What?"

"Do not get too hopeful dear." Cora corrected the idea fleeing amber eyes. "You are flesh of my flesh. That is not what I meant."

Then sick once more and the cold took over again. "Then what did you mean?"

"Only that I never really was a Mother to you."

Scoffing. "No shit." Blunt and hard as she felt about the matter. Then she needed to talk about anything else but the dull knife sawing her heart open. "How is it you are able to be here?"

Cora fluffed her skirts, smoothing them as she spoke. "I am tied to this world as you are, but while I put you here, I not do that to myself."

Dark brows knit in thought over the seemingly honest answer. Surprised she'd gotten one. "Then who did? Rumple?"

"Even he is not that powerful. No." Lips pursed. "However, it seems you are for what we are to each other daughter."

Regina paled in realization. "That's not possible. I do not want you here."

"That may be. However, apparently you need me or something from me." Cora said matter of fact. "Or some part of you or Snow does because that is how this ghost nonsense works.

"How do you know that?"

"Let's just say I received a rather warm welcome into the netherworld. Hades was quite adamant about this," gesturing to herself, "being out of his control. I'm anchored here until you let me go."

"Then go." And good riddance. Bitter and more than done with the dark woman rimming her peripheral vision. Regina's eyes burned and she refused to look anywhere but her hands clasped around her knees she was trying to keep from shaking.

"It doesn't work like that."

Regina grew brave as her anger returned over that answer. She shook her head as the heat bubbled up from her gut. Finally she looked over at her Mother. And her anger ceased rising anymore in exchange for more confusion in the way blue eyes softened just so at the edges. Like floating eyes had in the last telling off before fading away. She looked away and down to her hands. Balled into fists she let them go to the floor and pressed them into the freezing carpet. Ice chips stinging her knuckles numb as she longed to be. "I remember being tall enough to stand just at your knee and when I was that very little girl all I wanted was for my Mother to hold me."

"Regina—"

"No." A hand went up sharply as Regina caught her breath again. "Just once I wanted you to hold me without hurting me." Ache from a very little one inside of her forced her mouth to keep speaking. "Was I really so horrible to you that—that you couldn't love me just a little bit?" Cracking at the end as her hand moved to her mouth to keep from crying. Swallowing it down, Regina did and sobered as her Mother began to speak.

"I couldn't love you because I didn't have my heart Regina."

Sharp. "And whose fault is that?" Fist pounded carpet as she looked over, finally meeting those eyes again.

"I let the lure of darkness and power, consume me."

"Why?" Regina had never understood that. Had tried numerous times to understand the woman looking through her right now. The one she was looking through now no longer appearing as solid flesh.

Wavering in more than tone. "You represented everything I ever wanted for myself."

"And that is supposed to be an excuse for ruining my life, for killing my true love and turning my children against—" Then Cora was flashing. Gone from the lounger and flickering in front of her knees, crouching. Drawing back instinctually at the proximity Regina held her breath as the numbness began to leave her hands and she could no longer see her breath.

"I was wrong Regina."

And Cora was gone with the frost and ice. Cold though in thought and heart Regina remained alone in her room as she struggled to decipher her Mother's last words; past and present.

::::::::::::::::::::

Regina wasn't sure for a moment if the scream ripping through the mansion was her own or not as she woke bolting upright in bed. Scream just as chilling as the night air piercing through the blanket and her silk pajamas. The dream of being trapped in her Mother's vault began fading as she sat up and rubbed her face briskly trying to release the tension there. Then again a shriek vibrated the walls. Chin snapped toward the door.

"Snow."

And feet flew. 'Has Mother returned? Was Snow hurt? What if, what if, what if...' two words beat as her feet did on the carpet running. To her door and down the hall where another scream resounded from the pink room. Light on. Regina tore into the room ready to destroy whoever was making Snow scream like that, but there was no one save the child twisting in white sheets violently on the bed.

Not missing a beat Regina moved forward and scooped the thrashing little girl up into her arms, sheets and all and sat on the side of the bed. Her touch had an instant effect and she wasn't sure at first what that effect would be, but was glad to see Snow begin to calm in her arms as green eyes began fluttering open to the light in the room. Then they were on her. Big and haunted full of very adult thoughts and then they blinked allowing little ones forward, but just as ghosted of a gaze fell on her face.

Snow looked around puzzled and then she felt it. Cold and wet clinging to her skin through her night gown. One more cautious look at the Queen's face unreadable, but for the understanding of her wake of terror and she ducked her chin to her chest as new tears came.

Caught.

Wetting the bed caught. The last time caught in the act she had been eleven and her maid had reported the incident to her Grandmother. A spy her Grandmother had placed in her chamber that she had yet to realize at the time. And the dark woman had come knocking. Not knocking on her chamber door that had been thrown open and humiliated she had been to be scolded in front of staff. Made to return to sleep in the same gown and sheets that same night as punishment. It had been better than the latter her Grandmother usually favored. These thoughts pulsed at her temples as tears streamed and she waited.

Waited for Regina. To say something. But nothing was said as she was carried, wrapped in sheets down the hall and into the Queen's room. Then into the en suite, she was set on her feet as Regina sat on the side of the tub. Snow's toes curled against the white fabric separating her feet from the cold tile. A knob over the bath was turned and warmth began to fill the room they were in.

Snow hadn't realized how tightly she was clutching the sheet to her chest until each little finger was gently worked loose to let go. Sheet fell to the floor in a puddle. Then her nightgown was unbuttoned and eased down her shoulders to join. She stepped out of the soiled clothes and was lifted into the tub to sit in warm water.

She drew her knees up and hugged them as her long hair was piled neatly on top of her head with a clip. As Regina began scooping water to run over her back and arms Snow was grateful for the lack of words to fill the silence as she felt the droplets running down her skin. Regina's touch a balm to her upset. Always had been when words failed between them. Little Snow didn't want them to fail now as they had long ago, so she reached for the first thought near her lips that had been so fresh in her nightmare.

"Why didn't you tell me about Grandmother pretending to be you that day at the stables?" The hands scooping water paused briefly and left. Then Regina's hand returned with a soapy sponge that was ran over her skin.

"She wouldn't allow it." Regina answered, gently washing a back. "Threatened to hurt you more if I did and we both well know she was more than capable of keeping her promises." Cringing as she continued washing limbs trying to explain. "I was trying to protect you from her. That morning, with your Father away at that time and my Mother indisposed it was the one chance I thought we had to get away."

Snow chewed her lip as she was helped to stand up and the sprayer was brought over to run on her skin. "You were going to take me with you?" Warmth rinsed the suds away along with an old scab of past she couldn't name.

"I was, yes." Regina put up the sprayer and drained the tub. "Or at least I was going to give you the choice in the moment. I didn't want to leave you behind but I wasn't going to force you to leave the only home you had ever known either."

"I was mad at you… I guess at her for punishing me for having Mr. Thumper." Guilt ate at her gut as a flash of her Grandmother masked as Regina slapping her and locking her in her chamber cut into her mind. She was lifted out of the tub and a fluffy towel was wrapped around her shoulders.

"It was that same night after I left your room and I was released from the vault that I reached out to Rumpelstiltskin and began my training." Mother's wicked grin that night had been enough to make Regina sick. That was the one reason she had been let out. "She thought she had convinced me to join forces with her and…" Trailing at the memory of the confining straps bruising her skin to the floor of the vault, Regina shook her head. "She thought she finally had me right where she wanted me and in a way she did."

Dawning came to a little face as Snow thought on that revelation. Her hand was taken and she was led back to her room. Finally responding when Regina took a clean nightgown and under things from the dresser. "You learned magic so you could protect me." Not a question but now a fact her mind was struggling to contend with.

Nodding Regina helped Snow dress. Hands focused on a task helped with the next words. "Protect you and others. That was my intent yes, but it seemed only to create more distance between us." Nightgown on, she began tying the bow loosely at the neck.

"That's why I told her about… Daniella the week before." Sick with herself now. "I was so mad at you, I guess at Cora for locking me away—and she promised me…" Snow paused as the hands on her shoulders did too for a moment. She shrank under them and then they moved quickly down the length of her arms to her take her hands gently. Eyes on the floor. On those feet she knew. Regina's feet that had come for her today. Saved her on the horse today and were here now under her eyes.

"Snow?"

Little green orbs eased up and up to a red mouth framed with pain. "I—I thought you were going to leave me behind. With Grandmother. I had this feeling and the way both you and Daniella were together when I saw you both in the mirror at the stables. So I told Grandmother about the letters thinking they were important. And—and—" A little gasp as her chin shook.

Regina swallowed as the child eyes shifted for two very adult ones hurting. Searching them, she held on to listen.

"I didn't know you were going to take me too. I thought you were going to leave me all alone." Tears streamed and not just hers. "That is why I told about Daniella and the letters. Your mother said you were confused and that if I helped you would feel better and not leave me, but I told her everything and you left me anyway." Regina had never physically left her, but emotionally...

Snow in her adult mind wasn't sure which would have been worse if things had been different and the Queen had gotten away while she stayed behind or if she'd gone along and they all somehow escaped. She didn't have time to think about it before she was taken to sit against the heart she had locked out decades ago. Against the one she had thought had turned on her when it fact that had not been the case and she wondered how much of her memories were accurate in that hate. Had Regina been as much a victim under Cora as she had been? Had the Queen indeed loved her this entire time? Who was to blame for their shattered past?

Snow White didn't know, but she was beginning to understand more of the complicated woman who held her. Held her exactly where she had once been so easily as a real child in spite of their world's views and anything she'd done. Now held she was again full of very adult thoughts. Jarred back to their new reality when she felt Regina standing.

Given Mr. Thumper Snow's legs clung tighter to a waist and her bunny as she was carried back down the hall to the master bedroom. To the bed Snow was tucked in under the covers as she sniffled the past away. Eyes heavy in want of undisturbed sleep her little mind needed. The adult in her fought against eyes closing, but not against the warm body curling in around hers. Pulled in close and in arms that were not letting go, the room dimmed around them as lips came to rest on the crown of her head. A whisper came with a kiss and big Snow only just thought she heard the three words of past she had been waiting a lifetime for as sleep claimed her consciousness.

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A/N – I am curious your take on the Regina and Cora scene here or of Snow and Regina's parallel between the memories and this world?

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

Next time – Regina and Snow bond anew. In the Enchanted Forest they both attend Court with Leopold and little Snow gains insight into the subtle but powerful role a Queen plays for the people.