Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.

He caught up with her in the corridor leading towards the OR.

'I wanna talk to you about something.'

She paced herself faster.

'No.'

'You don't know what it's about.'

'Ask me if I care.'

'It's about Cerberus.'

She stopped and let out a strained sigh.

'What about him?'

'I wanna join you for walks every second weekend.'

'What?.' her look conveyed clear disbelief. 'Are you insane?'

He shrugged as if he were challenging her to continue. When she didn't, he chewed on his lip with a sideways smile before seeking her look again.

Was he trying to be charming? Oh boy.

'He's still my dog too.'

She rolled her eyes.

'And you proved to be unreliable. You have been missing so parental rights automatically go to the one taking actual care of the dog.'

'All I ask for is visiting rights.'

'Seeing you under the circumstances and having to watch you leave will only further hurt his feelings.'

'In time he'll know it's safe to place his trust in me again. I'm not going anywhere.'

Their eyes locked into a silent battle and he ended it with a sigh.

'I don't wanna fight with you, Rory.'

'Duh. Captain Obvious.'

'I mean that. I'm not gonna press it.'

'Sure.'

'You can have Cerberus, indefinitely. I know you take good care of him.'

She narrowed her eyes, studying him.

'Will you stop looking at me like that?'

'Like what?'

'Like a lovesick puppy.'

'I'll try,' he smirked. 'What about now?' he looked at her again.

'Nope. Still there. You're violating breakup etiquette.'

'What about that - I'll try to beware breakup etiquette and you give my visiting rights plea a thought. No pressure.'

Rory rolled her eyes.

'But I give no guarantees,' he smirked. 'If you keep on looking adorable, it's beyond me how enamored I feel.'

'Keep the sneaky smart groveling at bay will you?'

She started to leave but he caught on her arm, his fingers closing around her white coat, squeezing gently, seeking her eyes. She froze taken aback, looking at his arm as if it were a gun. Her eyes were full of panic as they darted between his arm and the corridor leading to the OR.

'I was afraid I was gonna start hating you. I made you hate me instead,' he said grimly. 'Isn't it ironic?'

The joke was lost on her. Because her life would be so much easier if she did in fact hate him.

He smiled a small smile and hung his head, letting go of her arm, taking a step back. She let the breath she'd been holding out.

He inhaled, narrowed his eyes and looked to the side where the corridor led, then looked back at her.

'I was so afraid of being seen like that.'

He must've sensed her unspoken question, the slight arch of her eyebrow, because he elaborated.

'Weak. Raw. Needy.'

He paused and ran a hand through his short hair. He caught her staring at the place above his right ear. The entrance of the bullet. The exit of the bullet. It's over now, he reminded himself and let out another small smile. You can let it go now.

'I... had small absence seizures,' he confessed. 'At first they totally freaked me out. I mean, I felt like I had no control over my body, and everything happened like in slow mo, as if I were in a movie. However, with time I got to feel when another blackout was coming, had some time to take precautions, prepare.'

He raked his teeth over his lower lip, then wet them, seemingly struggling with his next words.

'That night, when you got drunk and came to my apartment' he explained, smiling at the small groan she let out, 'I almost had a blackout right in front of you. That's why I was so desperate to make you leave. I don't say that to make an excuse, I just... want you to know the truth. And the truth is, I was wrong. I was very, very wrong to keep you out because you were the one person who would understand and not judge. But I was scared shitless and copped out,' he sighed, squeezing some of the tension off his jaw.

She kept silent but her eyes spoke volumes.

He looked at her apprehensively, willing himself to continue talking.

'I should've told you all these things at the time. I was being cruel to you without realizing the impact my stubbornness had on you. You were right, I had taken you out of the equation, kept you out when I should've let you in. I had to choose between you and my pride. I chose wrong. I... hope someday you find it in yourself to forgive me.'

He made a step towards her but saw the way she tensed and stopped.

'And I hope someday I stop making you feel like you have something to fear.'

He dipped his head, seeking her look, then gave her a small reassuring smile and a nod and left, his hands stuck in his pockets so he didn't feel tempted to reach out for her.

It would be days later, when they scrubbed in for a surgery together, when she would realize she was staring at his profile, the firm set of his jaw as he concentrated pulling her eyes in without making her feel alarmed. And as the surgery was over, she would almost smile, mirroring his own satisfied smile. She avoided him as much as she could but even she couldn't deny that inwardly, she wasn't done listening to what he had to say. She wasn't done period. It got easier to smile. Easier to breathe. Life was going on.

TBC