A/N – We are nearing the last set of chapters. About three more after this including the epilogue.

Title:

Forgiveness

Summary:

"A Mother's love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking."

-Helen Steiner Rice-

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Freedom.

It was all Regina had ever truly wanted. She sighed as she took another sip of iced scotch. The numbness felt good on her tongue and throat. Numbness she needed to soothe the ache of feeling. She had always felt too much. A fault Mother had once said would be her down fall. Now those same lips that use to speak with such scorn at her had said something else she had never considered entirely.

But forgiveness was not that simple.

Her heart wouldn't let it be and in that Mother was right. Her fist closed around the glass so hard then Regina felt it want to give under the pressure. Letting loose after the heat passed she set the glass on the coffee table of her Study and shook her hand out as she stared at the fireplace. A point of her finger and stone morphed the gas one into a waiting grate stacked with cedar logs. Then she held her hand palm up. Calling forth that heat again and watched it rise from a flicker to a ball of spinning fire in her hand. With a roll of her wrist it went crackling into the grate and sap on logs began snapping as a knock sounded on her door.

Regina's eyes closed. Tired from more than the effort of summoning her awakened powers. "Come in Snow." And opened them with the sound of the door from behind. Turning she tried for a reassuring smile that she wasn't sure came across that way for the uncertainty on the child's face.

"I had a dream and…" Shrugging as Snow wiped her eyes and stepped into the room. "Your bedroom door was open, but I saw the light on down here." Not wanting to be in trouble for wandering at night when she'd been told explicitly not to.

"It's alright." Regina patted the couch welcoming the warmth the little girl brought. Even with the fire she was still chilled to the bone. Snow trotted over and hopped up to settle right by her. Together they watched the flames dancing until Snow broke open the silence.

"How did it go with Grandmother?" Little one asked and leaned into a shoulder as she tucked her feet up under the hem of her nightgown.

"Let's just say she won't be bothering you again or anyone else but me for that matter."

"Did she say sorry for scaring us?"

Such an innocent concept and Regina's lips cracked into a brief smile over it. If only the world worked on the childish idea of the magic that one word supposedly held. "Not in so many words no." Deciding to share a bit of the conversation she thought the child could understand. "But she did ask for my forgiveness on a few things I am still thinking about."

Snow pondered that word. One she was still trying to figure out the meaning of. She didn't know what to say to that so she said nothing, but gave her hand over to take up the one fisted in a lap.

At the willing touch and Regina softened, squeezing once in return. "It's not that easy though and I am trying to sort through the why of it."

"I could help." Snow chimed in eagerly. And the top of her head was kissed for her efforts.

"Yes, I suppose you could." Then the clock chimed announcing the one o'clock hour. "But that is a talk we will have another day." Standing Regina pulled Snow along with her.

And as most children do when sleep is nearing they ask some of the tougher questions in life. "Why did she hurt us so much?"

Regina gripped the banister firmly as they ascended and tried to answer when she wasn't sure she fully understood herself. Both of them had felt Cora's ringed hands in a way no child even should and it was in that shared experience Regina found her words. "She was not a warm person and carried a lot of hate for how people once treated her. She locked a lot of her life away from me and what I thought I knew and understood I don't think I really do."

Snow padded along with a pair of gray slippers to her room. The covers came back and she was once again tucked in. "But you're her daughter."

Little mind struggled to understand what her big half had heard the Queen say the other day about being their Mother when Cora had appeared. Shouldn't Mothers know their daughters and in turn the same? As much as she had fought and still sometimes fought against the woman sitting on her bed tucking her in, little Snow had no doubt how well Regina knew her. And she thought she was getting to know the woman who had saved her life in more ways than one, once more.

"I am, but as she admitted title or not, she was never really a Mother to me." Tucking dark curls behind little ears as she pondered aloud. "Still I thought I at least occupied a part of her heart even if it was out of her body my whole life."

Then needing to know for certain Snow asked. "Am I in your heart?" Licking her lips as they wanted to roll inward. "By Henry?"

Regina pulled up the duvet under a little chin and stroked the little finger tips peeking over the top with hers. Green eyes began to close. "Right by Henry." Kissing a cheek as the child yawned and standing with one last look. "Rest now my little Snow Bunny."

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Snow sat on a bench outside of her classroom door waiting as the parent teacher conference that was supposed to be had Monday was being had now. She wondered what was being said as she kicked her heels against the bench rung. Regina had come and met her on the steps. After a hug and kiss hello in greeting she was taken inside and told to work on her homework. She had finished that quickly enough since it was reading. Thoughts of going outside to the playground came and went as their talk from earlier in the week had her remembering what had been said about being where she was expected to be.

Both sides of her had been trying hard to listen and be open to the Queen's direction. Both were also finding contentment and comfort in the easy affection Regina gave. Longed for more of it now that she was coming to better understand the woman who had raised her. They had talked more in the last several days about feelings and real things than they had in the years living together since the day at the stables. Snow was enjoying the attention and she sensed the Queen was more than enjoying giving it to her too.

The door opening had her looking up and she wondered over the straight red mouth. She knew that look and the trouble that usually followed her from it. On instinct she stood up, hugging her backpack to her chest wishing it was Mr. Thumper.

"May we go home?" Snow asked carefully and frowned when a hand was held out for her to take along with a head shake.

"There is something we need to discuss with your teacher first and we both have a few questions for you. Come along."

Snow took that hand and followed behind heels into her classroom where her teacher Ms. Potts sat at a round table with a bunch of papers fanned out. She was directed to sit across from her teacher and next to the Queen. Dropping her bag on the floor, Snow perched on the seat, running her hands over the length of her skirt in wonder.

"What's wrong?" Snow braved a question and was glad when Regina took her hand in comfort. "I've been doing my work and trying hard." She assured thinking that is what the adults wanted to hear.

"All of your work on your own?" Regina asked.

Snow's brow furrowed as her teacher slid a stack of math sheets across the table. "All of these," Ms. Potts began, "are your math homework sheets and every single one has every problem correct." Another pile was scooted forward. "This is your class work in the same subject. What do you notice?"

Child took in the red marks there and scribbled notes with examples from her teacher on the class work sheets and the single mark of an A on all the homework sheets. Her cheeks turned pink and she ducked her chin at the striking difference. Regina squeezed her hand.

"You are being asked a question." Regina prompted in wait for an explanation. She had helped Snow enough times with math homework to know it was not Snow's best subject and some of those sheets they had done together and she expected them not to be perfect marks. The fact that all of them in this pile were, even the ones they had worked on together, had her wondering over how they were that way.

"I'm sorry." Snow tried and bit her lip as her eyes went back and forth between the piles. "I only wanted to do well." She had only aimed to please.

"How did you manage to get these all correct?" Regina helped to refocus the girl whom she could tell was on the verge of tears. Tapping the papers twice in prompt and when no words came forth she went to lift Snow up under arms and moved the child to sit on her lap.

"I made a mess again. I didn't mean to be bad." A big sniff. She had been trying so hard not to be difficult, to listen and blend in. It was hard with everything going on and none of it she could share with anyone except Regina.

"You are not bad little one. Far from it. Your teacher and I just want to understand your thinking so we can help you." Regina affirmed and bent to pull a tissue from her purse and wiped Snow's tears. "Talk to me please."

"I used the number box." Child began. She found speaking easier in these arms holding her.

Patient and with a similar curious look at the teacher Regina asked. "What number box?"

"I found it in the kitchen drawer a while ago and I played with it, but she told me what it did and so I used it on my math homework."

Regina understood just who she was and that the number box was probably the calculator she kept in the kitchen junk drawer. "You know you are supposed to do your own work, don't you. That if something is difficult you may always ask for help?" The ready nod she received didn't add up to the actions done. "Then if that is the case, why did you use it on your homework?"

More sniffles and Snow tried to tuck her chin, but it was lifted. "You are so busy with everything and I didn't want to do bad in school. I was trying to help by not being in the way."

Regina's eyes closed for a long moment, now understanding the logic there. The rest of her upset over the matter left and it seemed to be enough of an explanation for the old woman, now stacking the sheets of paper to put in Snow's folder. She rubbed Snow's back and gave a nod to the teacher. "Going forward I assure you I will be checking her homework every evening and would appreciate a note or a call if there is any further concern over her academics." The fact that there had not been either since this meeting did not sit well with her. "That way this will not happen again Ms. Potts."

"I did send a few notes home, but I did not get them back." The older woman folded her hands primly on a lap. "Snow said you couldn't be bothered."

Snow squirmed under the two pairs of eyes now on her as that truth came out. Her teacher had done that and she had said as much in return when asked the following mornings. She could feel the question wanting to be asked from the Queen, but it did not come. Instead she was lifted under her arms to stand up and her hand taken up once more.

"I need to speak with my daughter further on that, but at home." Regina explained as she looked down at the top of Snow's head. Child was shuffling feet, little eyes locked on the carpet. "To avoid any more miscommunication going forward I'd appreciate a call or an e-mail." Then to Snow she asked. "What did you do with the notes?"

Snow stared at her toes.

Tisking the Queen prompted. "Snow?

A mumble, but still unclear.

Understanding and patience Regina had given the issue of the math homework, but the notes and the fact they had been kept from her knowledge was not sitting well with her. Regina was done with hiding. Too much hiding had been done in their past and within this new connection forming between them she wanted to keep lines of communication wide open. She leaned down to be eye level as she turned little shoulders her way. "A clear response please and I will not ask you again."

Snow tried to hold the gaze on her as she answered. "They are in my desk at home."

First use of that word from her little one had Regina softening considerably. They had a few things to discuss it seemed. She straightened up. "You owe your teacher a proper apology and then we may go." She waited for Snow to make amends and shook the teacher's hand before picking up the backpack and leading the way to the car.

Snow stared out the window at the passing houses and wondered over just how much trouble she was in. Back in the Enchanted Forest any upset over her lessons or lack of effort more often than not earned her a stern talking to, sometimes more if she had been deceitful in some way. Here her actions seemed to add up to quite the mess in her mind and she wondered how Regina was thinking on it. Once the car parked and they were walking up to the house her tummy began to dance. Inside she took off her coat and shoes. Taking extra time to hang and line up her things neatly in place in the foyer closet. Queen seemed to be doing the same and done with her task she started to fidget as she waited for directions.

"I would like to see the notes." Queen crossed her arms as she regarded the girl looking very much like a nervous bunny. "Fetch them and come meet me in the Study."

Pink lips parted. "Am I in trouble?" Thinking she was, but still hoped not.

"Not how you are thinking little one." Regina began vaguely and took a step forward dropping her arms. "We do need to talk though."

Snow's shoulders slumped and with heavy feet she went upstairs. Calculator and notes in hand she went back down stairs and right to the Study. Stopping at the threshold she saw the Queen sitting on the couch. Beckoned forth she went to put the calculator on the coffee table and sit on the empty cushion. She handed over the three notes still in their sealed envelopes.

Taking them from Snow, Regina read the fluid script addressed to her on the outside of each envelope, glad to see they were still sealed. She opened one and read, slowly doing so to the other two. Eyeing Snow's wiggling form over the top of the last note she folded it and set them all aside on the table behind her.

"Are you mad?" The little girl couldn't tell and she never could with Regina in moments like this.

"I'm not mad, though I am unhappy with not knowing about the notes and of your answer to your teacher about why I was not seeing them. I am also concerned with your thinking about your home work and your feelings behind why you didn't come to me for help." It was clear then, that is where she needed to start.

Little eyes looked up. "Am I in disgrace then?" That concept she understood and could work through. This gray area she seemed to be in did not make sense and was something she'd not experienced before. In their world it did not work like that. There was right and wrong and she knew where wrong actions got her, but here that seemed to work differently and she was not sure why.

"It is not that simple little one." Regina patted her lap and Snow crawled over to sit back in her arms. "This whole thing seems to have started many weeks ago." The dates on the notes indicated that much. "And weeks ago things were different between us. Would you agree?"

Snow nodded and then remembered to answer. "Big me was mad at you all the time and sometimes I was too." More than sometimes she realized.

"And I know I have said more than once, especially early on when we first got here, that I expected you to help by going to school and trying your best there. You were only trying to listen to my instructions on that matter and I more than understand that you meant well with your math homework." Regina felt Snow relax in her arms under that affirmation as little hands began playing with the gold ring on her right hand. She allowed it and found that the motion did not cause her the distress it once had for just who had given her that ring.

Regina knew her words said weeks ago in frustration over their circumstances of being here had been taken to heart and too much so it seemed over what she'd said about the need to use her free time to work on breaking the spell. While she was still working on a solution to that the last few weeks being with Snow had turned into something different. Something more and her focus shifted to mending the broken past and present between them. To be more of the Mother Snow had known and even now still needed her to be. Regina didn't fault the child over the homework in the least. Snow had been following her instructions, misinterpreted as they had been.

"I'm sorry for using the number box or cal-cu-lator." Trying for the correct word for the object, Snow thought it an odd one.

"I understand why you did. And again I am not upset over that. Weeks ago I…" Taking a deep breath when she reflected on just how chaotic things had been between them. How raw both of their nerves had been scraped with emotions strong in misunderstanding and hurt crashing together from two worlds. "I owe you an apology."

Snow's head snapped up, almost catching the Queen's chin. She wriggled around to better see the eyes on her and those amber eyes were full of an ache she thought she just may understand.

"When we first got here I didn't understand a lot of things and I was very angry to wake up here without Henry or knowing why you were as you are." Regina tried to explain her feelings and felt she was doing a terrible job with the way her throat kept catching words. But Snow was listening and so she focused on that. "I let my frustration over our situation out on you and I shouldn't have."

"I didn't help matters any." Big words from a little mouth. Snow's adult mind pushed in. "I baited you and knew I was doing it at the worst possible moments… especially over my Father's death." Remembering that fight well and the venom with which she'd spoken about it to the Queen. "I know now it wasn't your fault."

Heat burned behind her eye lids and Regina swallowed them down. "Still, I am and have been the adult the entire time. You are my responsibility and I was less than patient with you when we arrived." The smirk very much her adult daughter's on Snow's face threw her. "Something amusing?"

"I was a brat." More big words. "Here and in the past and I don't feel like you were impatient with me." A pause and quieter words. "Then or now."

Regina searched the adult eyes she'd not seen in a long while and then they went away for little ones returning. "Even so, I'm sorry." The child reached up and wrapped arms around her neck. She returned the hug easily.

"I'm sorry too." And Snow was for how she'd acted early on and more so recently. Regina was trying and now that she was too there was a significant difference in her mind, both of them, in how she felt about the Queen. Holding tight for a moment more, she pulled back. "May I go and play now?" Hopeful this was the end of the matter on school.

Regina chuckled at the childish hope and shook her head. "Not so fast. We still need to discuss the notes and your lack of telling me about them. I think I understand why, but I would like to hear it from you."

"I didn't want to bother you with them."

Nodding. "You said as much at the school and I would like to know why?" The answer would drive the next part of their conversation and her response to Snow's original question of being in trouble. As she thought, child wiggled on her knee and Snow's hands began to twist at the uniform shirt. She put one of hers over them, running her thumbs along knuckles to soothe.

"I didn't want you to know I wasn't doing well. Ms. Potts said to give them to you and you needed to sign them." Snow dropped her chin as she spoke. "You are, were, always so busy everything and with breaking the spell too and I didn't think you would want to be bothered with it. That's why I used the calculator." Then shrugging as her words left her.

With that connection between the two issues Regina sighed, needing one more piece of information. "Did you not tell me because you didn't think I would help you or was it for another reason?"

Curls shook. "I knew you'd help, but I didn't want you mad at me for hiding them… Like I hid knowing about the letters between you and Daniella." Snow buried her face into a chest as her back was rubbed. "You were mad when I told you about the letters and I didn't want you mad at me like that again when things are better now." Tears welled and fell fast down her cheeks soaking the Queen's blouse.

There was the root exposed and in it Regina held Snow close as the crying intensified. She petted and soothed, kissed the crown of curls under chin as she thought on what to say. Deciding to begin with the past. "I was upset about the letters when I first found out, but I am glad you told me because I needed to understand your side of things and how you were thinking back then when you told my Mother about them." She pulled Snow back so they could see each other. Lifting a chin she summoned a few tissues and gently began clearing Snow's face free of upset. "I never wanted you to feel like you couldn't tell me your feelings or thoughts." Realizing along the way that is what had happened.

"So you do understand why I told?" Snow asked what she'd been wanting to for a long time as she sniffled.

"I do and I've forgiven you as I hope you will forgive me at waiting so long to really talk about that with you. I was hurt and I didn't know how to share that with you other than keep it to myself." She took up little hands and held as her eyes shined. "I don't know how to show my feelings very well and for a very long time I thought I was doing right by you in keeping them to myself. All I ever wanted was to protect you and raise you with the kind of love and affection I was never shown. I didn't have the best examples. My Father tried with me, but he was not the parent I needed him to be. And with you…"

At the long pause little Snow helped. "You didn't want to be your Mother."

In her daughter's clear understanding of what she had been trying to explain in many more words than necessary Regina let her tears go, dropping her head for a moment to breathe before she brought her wet eyes back up. Allowing Snow for the first time truly to see her heart unveiled. "How did you become so wise little one?"

"You taught me well."

Regina's heart pulled and she gave a small smile for the gift from that pink mouth.

"Are you still mad at big me?" Snow asked the other question that was not her own, but pushing against her mind to come out. "She wants to know if you forgive her for…" Trailing over the adult words she didn't quite understand about her Grandmother's heart, a two sided candle, and the vault. Little one tried to push the adult hiding forward to speak, but wasn't able to.

Regina waited to see if the adult in Snow would come back out. Seeing that was not going to happen she lifted Snow up to stand between her knees. "She and I must speak on that matter." Then Queen took a long moment to be sure of her next words and when she was she cupped Snow's chin so their eyes met. "She thought she was doing the right thing and following her heart like I taught her, taught you to do long ago." Tone thick with grief she didn't try to keep away. "I never wanted blood on her hands or for her to use magic, but I understand why she felt the need to do what she did."

And Regina did truly, especially since the realization that she had kept too much of the truth tucked away from her daughter growing up. It was a fine line—keeping the hard facts and truth of their existence away from her daughter in the name of protecting and not being open enough with her feelings to explain why she did so as Snow grew up. Mother hadn't helped matters by taking her heart, but Regina still felt some sense of responsibility for Snow's clouded understanding on things of past between them.

"Do you though?" This time little Snow asked. "Forgive her?" Needing to know for knowing what she did about her Grandmother's death. Her big side had kept those details and images well hidden away from her, but she knew that somehow her adult side felt responsible for that death.

Regina cupped two white cheeks under wide worried green eyes. Her daughter's eyes. For their strangled history torn through by the winds of Mother's lies and the sharp manner of their world as it was and for the now of being here with her child again when she never thought it possible, Regina drew Snow close. She gave her daughter an answer she knew would be understood without the words her emotions had tied up.

Regina kissed between furrowed little brows, feeling them release to knowing tears under her lips. Lingering there as her answer of forgiveness began registering with her daughter's duel mind. As Snow wept, Regina rested their foreheads together in quiet care for the tender bud blooming once again between them.

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A/N –They are finally getting to a good place! But the big talk is next….

As always love to hear from you!

Next time: What both sides of Snow thought she once understood about their past is anything but the truth revealed.