Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.

A/N: A short but kinda turning point kind of chapter. Hope you enjoy, I'll be so glad to hear your thoughts on it :)

The city lights spanned before them, a vast carpet of electrical fireflies. It was so easy to live and die unnoticed in a city like this one, a city where anonymity was actually a concept.

'Looks so peaceful from here,' Rory mumbled more to herself than for him to hear. 'But once you get closer, it's one hell of a mess.'

They stood for another minute, silently regarding the view from the wide window. He had taken her to one of the skyscrapers facing the city. It had a closed terrace that granted a vast view of Manhattan. It wasn't routinely used for observational purposes but for artistic events. However, Jess had operated on the doorman's wife's ulcer and here they were.

Right in front of them, the Empire State building was looming over the city, a giant between smaller giants. Built during the Great Depression, it was another proof that hard times inspired some great stretches of bravery. And a good number of romantic comedies.

Rory turned towards him.

'Why did you bring me here?'

Jess gave her a sideways look, then slanted his head towards the window.

'You told me to, remember?' referring to her wish to take her somewhere when they were at the reception an hour ago.

She folded her arms before her chest, narrowing her eyes.

He sighed knowingly. She could always tell when he was beating around the bush.

'I was afraid you might change your mind,' he said with a small self-deprecating smile. 'This was the first place that came to mind so... yeah.'

She nodded.

'I guess we could use the perspective,' he smirked, giving her a hopeful look. Was it okay to attempt jokes now? Were they there yet? And speaking about, where were they?

Jeez, he had to tune down his own thoughts or he was gonna go insane. Take it easy. Baby steps. Remember, Mariano, baby steps.

Rory's brows were furrowed in deep thought, seemingly fighting some inner battle.

'I don't have any acts of bravery left in me,' she said in a small weary voice. She was looking ahead at the Empire State when Jess dipped his head so he could get a glimpse of her eyes. The blue in them looked bruised, glazed over. His pulse raced on. He felt the familiar pang of guilt clutch at his throat.

Don't go there, he reminded himself. Regret isn't gonna take you anywhere.

He took a breath and wetted his lips, contemplating how he could say what he needed to say.

'When I closed off after what happened, you gave me the space to mourn. You acknowledged my right to freak out while at the same time constantly reminding me you were there in case I needed a friend. When I treated you like a stranger because I was a fucking coward to let you settle with an imperfect version of me, you came forward and saw right through my act.'

He let out a low chuckle, shaking his head.

'You've never let me get away with my twisted ways, always urged me to get my shit together.'

He paused and hung his head back, his next words frustrating the hell out of him but still needing to get out.

'However, even after my ultimate stunts you acted like the bigger person, telling me to look for the greater picture.' He let out a slow sigh. 'I paraded with another woman just to scare you off and you still had the urge to come and tell me not to undergo potentially dangerous tests. I got myself into self-induced coma and still you took the seat next to me and walked me through the surgery that might eventually change my life. That night after Julian Thompson died, you knew I would be a wreck. And you came in my apartment, fully aware I would be at my worst, in order to share an hour of silence so that I wouldn't be alone on the crappiest day of my life.'

He took a breath, giving her a quick sideways look.

Rory had closed her eyes, squeezing them tight, inhaling and exhaling deliberately slowly. He waited, giving her time to recuperate.

'There is not a single brave thing you didn't do,' he said quietly, hoping she heard the sincerity in his voice and believed him. Because she couldn't have saved him any more than she did. It was crazy she felt like she hadn't done enough, like he was asking her to give more than she already had. It was crazy but it was true because he had made it so. And he had to acknowledge it. His silence to her had been the most cruel thing he'd ever done to anyone and the only way he knew to mend it was to let her know the truth.

'I don't really think I deserve your love, but then again you never loved me cause I deserved so. You loved me because it was how you felt. And I'm not ever again walking away from that. I hope some day it gets simpler. I pray that some day we'll be able to sit next to each other and stare at our shoes without feeling uncomfortable.'

Because simplicity is bliss. And we used to have that. Maybe still could.

In a while Rory opened her eyes, looking ahead. Her face was composed into a calm expression but Jess knew it cost her a lot of effort to keep it so.

'Now that you list your stupid stunts, they do sound impressive,' she said dispassionately, the slightest hint of a smile at the corner of her lips.

Jess' eyes lit up. He let a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. So, maybe they weren't exactly at a point where they could joke about stuff, but at least they were getting there. For some reason it made him feel giddy.

'I'd like to go home now,' she said before he had formed a reply.

Jess gave her a nod and took her heels from the floor, carrying them in one hand as he went to call the elevator.

TBC