Chapter 18 – Resignation
Author note: Will Halstead will be making a few appearances going forward. I don't watch Chicago Med (I know I should and I will get around to it at some point) so I don't know if I'm writing Will properly, so apologises if he doesn't fit with Will's personality but for the sake of this story let's just go with it.
Jay sat at the table in the restaurant sipping a whiskey on the rocks waiting for Will to arrive. Jay was early but was thankful he had had an excuse to leave the office. He couldn't take sitting at his desk anymore.
The tension in the Intelligence Unit couldn't have been more palpable. Everyone felt it, everyone knew Lexi had kissed Kelly, they had seen the evidence. Jay felt they were all pitying him or judging him for still being with her, if that's what he was? Was he still with her? He couldn't decide.
Jay hadn't spoken to Lexi, he hadn't even said goodbye to her when he left to meet Will, he had just announced to the room he was leaving and would see everyone tomorrow. Lexi had been smart enough not to try to speak to him, the office wasn't the place for relationship dramas.
Nothing she said would make him feel better, plus what could she say that she hadn't already said? She was sorry, he knew that, and he didn't want to be angry with her, he understood her history with Kelly made everything complicated.
Voight had made the decision to not put the latest photos on the board, but the image was burned in to Jay's mind. "Can I get another?" Jay asked holding up his empty glass as the waitress passed his table.
"Sure thing" she smiled taking his empty glass.
"Starting without me?" Will asked approaching the table taking off his jacket and putting it on the back of his chair.
Jay stood and hugged his brother "Hey Will, it's good to see you"
"Good to see you too Brother" Will embraced him.
They ordered their dinner and Jay told Will about being at the cabin with Lexi, with the exception of the last night they spent together. He hadn't seen or spoke to Will since he and Lexi had returned from the cabin, a lot had happened.
"So enough of the small talk" Will said after the waitress cleared their empty dinner plates from the table and bought them both a whiskey on the rocks. "What's going on with you?"
Jay shook his head and took a sip of his glass of water. "How much time do you have?"
"All the time in the world for you baby bro" Will said leaning on the table to show Jay he was there for him, ready to listen.
Jay took a deep breath, where to begin. "Lexi and I finally made it official"
Will couldn't help but look a little shocked. "Not sure whether to say I'm happy for you or ask you if you've lost your mind?"
Jay sat back in his chair and picked imaginary dirt from the table cloth. "Maybe a little"
"Jay man" Will began shaking his head at his brother "she just lost her sister and broke up with her fiancé"
"I'm aware" Jay snapped a little too sharply.
"Are you?" Will asked a little amazed at his Jay's behaviour. He knew how Jay felt about Lexi, but his timing was completely off.
"Would you like to see the dessert menu?" The waitress asked approaching the table. They both smiled at her and took the menus, thankful for the interruption.
"I mean I'm happy for you" Will told Jay watching him pretend to read his menu "I know it's what you've wanted since you met her, but I have to say you don't seem happy"
"I was happy" Jay told him throwing the menu on to the table "I mean I am happy. I'm totally in love with her but it's all just so messed up. She's had a couple run ins with Severide. Some guy we arrested years ago is threatening her, he's behind Shay's death. Which of course means Lexi's blaming herself"
"Run in's?" Will knew Jay's choice of mentioning Kelly before the threatening was his way of trying to avoid any questions about it.
"They were nothing" Jay shrugged it off "just a kiss"
"Do you believe that?"
"I did, until I saw the pictures" Jay said knocking back his whiskey shot.
"Pictures?"
"Long story" Jay explained without explanation
"So that's what's bothering you?" Will concluded "her kissing Severide?"
Jay nodded "I guess"
"Why? It's not like you've never seen them kiss before"
Jay hadn't thought of it that way, he had seen them kiss before, multiple times, Kelly would make a point of kissing her in front of Jay every chance he got. But he had never seen her kiss him when she was supposed to be his.
"The way I see this is you have two options." Will bought Jay's focus back to the room "Either you end it and just give her some time, or you decide it's something you can deal with, that you love her enough and you give it your all"
"I don't know. I don't wanna be pilling more shit on to her, but I can't ignore it either." Jay sighed
"Go talk to her" Will told him "you owe it to both of you to at least have a conversation"
Author Note: The below section's idea came from and partly written by LottyCharl
Hank, Adam, Kevin and Lexi were the only ones left in the office, they were finishing up reports and following leads before calling it a night. Jay had left a few hours before as he was meeting Will for dinner.
"Lex you coming?" Adam said standing up from his desk and putting on his jacket. Lexi was sat at her desk reading reports and cross-referencing information. Adam approached her desk as she hadn't acknowledged him. "Lex, you ready to go? I can give you a ride home, stay with you until Jay gets back" Adam told her knowing she wasn't to be left alone.
Lexi smiled looking up at him. "Sorry I spaced out there for a second" Adam gave her a sympathetic smile, she looked exhausted, it was all clearly taking an emotional toll on her. "Thanks, but I need to speak to Voight, I'll get him to give me a ride, and I've got a protective detail on me."
"Okay, call me if you need anything" Adam told her leaning over and kissing her forehead "see you tomorrow".
"Night Lex" Kevin called as he descended the stairs.
"Later Kev" she smiled waving. Lexi waited to hear the gate at the bottom of the stairs close before she stood and walked to Voight's office. "Sarge, can I talk to you?" Lexi said, knocking on the open door.
"Of course, what can I do for you?" Voight asked as Lexi walked in and shut the door behind her.
"I just wanted to pre-warn you." She began as she sat in the chair in front of his desk. "When all this is over, when we have Calvin, I'm done, I'm resigning. I figured if I tell you now you have time to find a replacement"
Voight repositioned himself on his chair sitting up straighter "Lexi, you're one of the best I have. You were meant for this job; can I ask why? Why now?"
"I can't do this job anymore if it means the people I love are put at risk." She said.
"You're going to let some psycho prick dictate your life? We're gonna get this guy!" Voight raised his voice, he hated that some asshole was making her feel this way.
"I know" Lexi nodded her agreement "we are going to get this guy, but I know I'd doubt myself. Every arrest I made, every decision I made I'd question if it meant I was putting someone in harm's way, I can't live like that"
Voight sighed audibly. "Are you sure about this? What are you going to do?"
"I don't know yet; I haven't thought that far ahead I just know I'm done being a cop." Voight sighed but didn't speak. "Let me tell the team, and don't mention it to Jay yet please"
Voight nodded and cleared his throat "I won't start any proceedings, give you time to think it over and if you don't want to come back then that's your choice."
"Thanks." Lexi said turning around and leaving, she stood for a moment in the empty room where the unit normally sat but by now most of them would likely be at Molly's. Enjoying the rare silence, she walked across to her desk and picked up her phone noticing multiple missed calls from Kelly. As she turned the screen off a call came through from Gabby. Lexi hadn't spoken to Gabby since discovering Shay had left her share of Molly's to her and Kelly. "Hey Gabby, what's up?"
"Lex, it's me." A familiar voice came through the phone. "Don't hang up." Kelly added quickly.
"Where's Gabby, why have you got her phone?" Lexi queried not trusting her ex.
"She's right here, you weren't answering my calls, which is understandable, but I wanted to be the one to tell you." Kelly explained.
"Tell me what?" She asked, getting worried. She didn't like his tone of voice.
"It's Jay, he was in a car crash." Lexi's whole world seemed to shut down in those few words. "Squad 3 just cut him out of his car, he's on his way to med" Lexi didn't respond, she couldn't find the words. She couldn't go through this again, she couldn't lose Jay. "Lexi?" Kelly questioned, not knowing if she was still on the line or not.
"Lexi, is everything okay?" Voight asked, walking out of his office after seeing his detective slide down the side of the desk she had been leaning on, tears streaming down her face.
"Jay…" Lexi choked on a sob. "Jay's been in an accident." Lexi managed to get out between sobs.
"What hospital is he being taken to?" Voight asked, taking the phone from her hand.
"Chicago Med." Kelly answered.
"We'll meet you there." Voight said before hanging up. "He'll be okay." Voight assured her helping her up.