Disclaimer: Everything's mine. Ha. I wish. Oh well.

A/N: Such a hard chapter to write. You reviews have the power to break through the worst writers' block.

'Hey, Chris,' Rory approached the paramedic and the patient who was lying over a stretcher at the emergency triage. 'What have we got?'

'Thirty-six years old male, lost consciousness while driving to work and crashed against a tree. Had his seat belt on, no signs of head trauma.'

'Prodromes?' she asked, checking the patient's pupils with the flashlight of her mobile. 'Hello, Mr Fanning,' she greeted the man lying on the stretcher. The man was mumbling something unintelligible, moving his hand to feel around the stretcher, still disoriented.

Rory felt for his pulse and then listened to his heartbeat and breathing.

'He was stable but a bit dizzy during transportation, you'll have to elicit more history when he fully comes to. He was driving with a co-worker, she's waiting outside. Said Ray was driving and the next moment he lost consciousness and started seizing, losing control over the wheel. Maybe you'll manage to talk to her for more details.'

'Thanks, Chris.'

The paramedic started to leave. Before turning fully, he gave a nod in Rory's direction.

'Morning, Dr Mariano,' Chris greeted.

'Morning, Chris.'

Rory turned to find Jess standing a couple of feet behind her, scrubs and white coat on, stethoscope hanging from his neck.

'Hi.'

'Hi.'

'Aren't... aren't you scheduled in the OR?' Rory asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Had he come here to talk? They hadn't met since their last encounter at his apartment. When she had specifically asked to be given some space. He had been so flustered, he didn't even manage to object properly. If she had to be completely honest, she'd been avoiding him. For more than a week she'd been doing her best to not cross paths with him because there were things she wanted to figure out before she faced him again. She needed to figure out where they were, and until then, she'd asked him to not call her. I'll call you, she'd said. She said she would but still hadn't. It had been only a week. A couple of days more than a week. Yeah, a couple of days more. Was she stringing him along? All she'd done was come to his apartment unannounced, get him worked up, blow his mind with a a notoriously extravagant act of seduction and then leave him flustered with as much as an 'I'll call you'. Easy-breezy. Oh boy.

'The Chief grounded me in the ER for a week,' Jess said, looking around the emergency triage for emphasis.

He didn't look angry. He looked... good. What?. Oh, shut up, Rory.

Wait, he was grounded? Why had the Chief grounded him?

Jess must've read the question in her eyes because he ran a hand through his hair and blew out his cheeks.

'Yesterday I've been so distracted, I got him a forceps when he asked me for scissors while assisting him in a nephrectomy. His exact words were, whatever happened to you last weekend, Mariano, you better restore your brain to the way it was before the lobotomy,' he explained.

Okay, so he didn't sound angry. He sounded... conceded.

'Oh.'

Rory willed herself not to blush but it wasn't something she really had any control over. The stoic calmness he was pulling off was welcome, but there was a burning intensity in his eyes that made her squirm. Stop acting like some schoolgirl, she told herself. Act professional. You're at work. Doesn't matter you're mentally undressing him right now. What?. Okay, now that's enough.

'I'm gonna go check on Ray here,' she nodded towards the man on the stretcher. 'I... guess I'll see you around.'

'Yeah. See you around.'

She started to leave but then stopped and squeezed her eyes shut before ducking her head and opening them again.

'When's your training?' she turned back.

'Wha... what?'

'You go and kickbox, right?'

He blinked, taken aback by the sudden change of topic. He nodded once.

'You going tonight?' she asked.

He nodded again, not sure if he should elaborate. Was she asking him to elaborate? What was she really asking?

'Good.'

He watched as she headed towards her patient. And he asked himself, what the hell just happened?.

'So, what happened?'

'Jim tried to kill me,' the twelve-year old boy said fervently.

Jess' brows rose.

'I didn't!' the other twelve-year old boy countered.

'You did!'

'Okay,' Jess let out an exhale, 'Enough.'

He folded his arms before his chest, giving the twin boys a pointed stare.

'I'll only ask this once more before I call our Child Protection expert to deal with this.'

Now he got their attention.

'So, did you or did you not try to kill your twin brother?' he asked Jim.

'I didn't!' Jim exclaimed. 'I mean, I didn't want to make him die, I only wanted to make him stop teasing me about failing to make it into the baseball team.'

'I wouldn't be teasing you if you hadn't made the stupidest mistake and failed the try-outs. You're supposed to be the fit one.' Jack noted.

'And who came up with the idea of enrolling into the stupid baseball team first?' Jim countered.

'Well I'm the one with the pacemaker, genius! I'm the brains you're the muscle,' Jack rolled his eyes.

'Well guess what, I didn't wanna make it into the team, I only did it for you, jackass!'

'Well, at least you managed to get me into the ER,' Jack muttered.

'I got you David Wright's badge! I wanted to make you smile, not kill you, idiot!'

'A magnet badge, Jim.'

'I'm sorry, okay? I'm fucking sorry.'

'Hey!' Jess rose a finger. 'Enough. One more word and we're taking this to the authorities. Who wants to spend some quality time in Juvy?'

Both boys got quiet, seemingly impressed by Jess' warning.

'Better,' Jess sighed, massaging his temples with point and middle finger. 'Now let's see your pacemaker ID card and set up your pacemaker back to its initial mode.'

Jess had (finally) finished setting Jack's pacemaker up when he heard two familiar voices behind the nearby curtain.

'I tell you that's what happened.'

'You're so gross Dugray.'

'I'm not gross, I'm honest.'

'Same thing.'

'At least I wasn't the one caught in a compromising position.'

'You're delusional. Oh hey, Jess,' Paris looked up at Jess as she and Tristan appeared from behind the curtain.

Jess have them both a nod.

'I tell you, that's how it happened,' Tristan insisted. 'She gave him some great head and his mind went so blank he got distracted until he was no use.'

Paris scrunched her nose.

'Yuk.'

'It must have been good,' Tristan pondered with his arms folded before his chest.

Paris turned towards Jess abruptly, making Jess flinch from his semi-stupor.

'Make him stop talking. Or give me a pair of scissors and I will cut his tongue.'

'This tongue is bliss,' Tristan gave her a wink, wiggling his brows suggestively.

'I give up. Go and discuss your absurd theory with someone else, I'm officially grossed out.'

Tristan studied Jess curiously.

'Man, you okay? You look like you just swallowed a dead fish.'

'Wha...' Jess licked a lip and looked around apprehensively. 'What were you talking about?'

'Rory's syncope patient,' Paris shook her head at Tristan condescendingly. 'Dugray has this absurd theory that the guy has an affair with his attractive female co-worker, based on the sole fact that the patient is married and he refused to inform his wife he was at the hospital, lying about having to work late. Are you even listening to me? Jess? Jeez, every male in this hospital has become completely useless. I'm going back into the real world where everything is sterile and people are deeply sedated.'

With that, Paris shook her head indignantly and left a flustered Jess behind.

Awkwardnessville? Ding-dong, we've got a winner.

'Seriously, man,' Tristan shook his head, 'you need to get yourself together. You look like a truck ran over you.'

He felt his opponent was about to tackle him over but didn't manage to escape it. His head wasn't into the wrestle tonight, his eyes every now and then darting towards the entrance of the gym.

Maybe she'd been teasing. Maybe she didn't plan on coming at all. Was this revenge? Was she deliberately messing with his head to take back at him for the way he had messed with hers? Because she was succeeding.

Jess felt another blow in the ribs. He tried to roll over, managing to get up to a standing position. Just then his eyes fell on hers and he stilled.

For a moment the noise of the gym died out and all he could see was a pair of electric blue. It felt like a punch in the gut. His look made it to her half parted lips that formed a slight 'oh' just as he felt the fist making contact with his jaw, almost knocking him out.

Jess made a couple of steps back, thrown back by the blow, leaning over his knees for support. Another punch was on its way but he managed to duck his head in time to miss the blow. He tried to take a swing at his opponent but wasn't fast enough and got a blow above the eye. For a moment everything disappeared.

'I'm glad you find my misery overtly amusing,' he muttered.

Rory looked at his sulky expression and let out a chuckle, dabbing the gauze in disinfectant before touching it to his eyebrow making him wince.

'Stay still.'

Taking her order a little too literally, Jess stood still, his eyes set intently on hers as she tended to his cut eyebrow. They were in the gym's backroom where the gym owner kept the first aid kits. Given it was a martial arts gym, those kits came in handy pretty often.

Jess was sitting on a stool, his arms hanging loose between his knees that were set apart so that she could work undisturbed.

Rory wetted her lips in concentration as she put some antibiotic powder over the cut. A muscle in his jaw ticked as she touched the skin that already had an angry red-purple bruise forming beneath the cut. It probably stung. Rory opened her mouth to say sorry but decided to change topic instead.

'Does this happen often?' she asked. 'I mean, getting beaten up like this,' she clarified.

Jess lifted a hand and took a loose strand of her hair between his fingers, studying it with mesmerized scrutiny.

'I've been distracted,' he mumbled, seemingly in some sort of trance.

When his eyes moved up and met hers, she recognized sincere awe. He looked so vulnerable, so enamored. Against her better judgement, Rory felt an overwhelming tenderness. Yeah, tenderness. His surrender somehow had the power to disarm her.

She stepped forward and stood between his legs, watching as he looked at her, not daring to move. She leaned forward and he was so close she felt his breath soft against her chin, like feathers tickling her skin. His lips were half parted in an unvoiced question. Was she gonna finish this? She leaned further down and sighed with relief when his mouth closed on hers, meeting midway. A light, almost innocent touch, lips reacquainting. He put a palm behind her nape, squeezing lightly, bringing her closer. Then he moved, taking lead. And the gym disappeared, the world disappeared, the past stopped to exist. All they had was each other and this moment right now.

Rory felt the familiar sweet, warm sensation engulf her. She was sinking deeper and deeper, letting her particles rearrange until she started to dissolve, her body humming with the long lost feeling of fulfillment. She deepened the kiss until she felt herself slip away and disappear, having a hard time telling where she ended and he started. It was so easy to get lost in him. Just like she used to. Could she afford to lose herself to him again? He tilted his head and changed angle, making her shiver.

She balled his tee in her fists, taking a deep breath before she flattened her palms against his chest and pushed herself back, extracting herself from him. Jess stood up and took a step back, driven by surprise more than the momentum she managed to create with her push. Both of them were panting heavily, clearly affected by the shared moment of intimacy. He rubbed a palm against his jaw, as if she'd just punched him and he still wasn't sure how that happened. Rory was looking at him, her mouth slightly agape, the look in her eyes straightforwardly terrified.

'I can't believe it,' she shook her head.

Jess stood up straighter, gaining some of his attitude back.

'I thought you wanted this,' he said, a hint of accusation surfacing in his voice.

God, she had looked more than willing. She had initiated this, for fuck's sake. Shit. Was this how they were gonna do things now? Playing some twisted on and off yo-yo. Okay, no need to sound like a jerk. Get a grip on yourself, now.

Jess pinched the bridge of his nose, willing himself to calm down.

'I can't believe you still make me feel like that,' Rory said, shaking her head again, looking in equal parts surprised and appalled. 'How many obscene things should you do to facilitate at least a tiny bit of hate in me?'

Jess narrowed his eyes, unable to follow the conversation.

'What?'

'You paraded with another woman in front of me,' she hissed, disgust apparent in her voice. 'You did it, knowing how much you'd hurt me.'

He'd done it because of it.

'You made love to me and still left to have the surgery done,' she continued, making a step towards him, her eyes shooting daggers. 'You bastard.'

She pushed him back with all the strength she could muster. Which all in all didn't amount to much, yet was enough to make him step back, combined with the strength of her words.

'You shouldn't be allowed to get near me again,' she said, pushing him back again. 'You shouldn't be allowed to make me feel like I used to feel.'

Jess made a step forward, his arms open in an attempt for negotiation. He was met by both her fists' thump against his chest.

'Why don't you go and make someone else's life miserable? Make someone else fall in love with you, it's like an incurable infection and you infected me with it! How the hell did you manage to forgive yourself, huh? How did you justify stomping all over me and leaving me behind?'

Jess opened his mouth and then closed it, contemplating his answer. He deserved her anger, her indignation. Fair enough. He was the reason she'd lost her trust in her own judgement. He deserved much worse than she was giving him.

And then she was looking at him with that look - a look where so many emotions were battling. There was rage and there was indignation, but there were also hope and loneliness and... and love. Tender, all-forgiving love. She was looking at him like there wasn't a single thing about him she didn't find extraordinary and fascinating. And she found that terrifying. He found it exquisite.

Rory seemed to realize how obvious her play of emotions had become and took a sharp breath in.

'Excuse me,' she said hastily and left the backroom in a quick escape.

Jess found her outside the gym, sitting on the curb with her elbows propped over her knees. He sat down next to her, mirroring her position. They stood for a while, each silently contemplating the situation. Then he spoke and his voice was solemn, gentle.

'I tried to find the lesson in that. I... thought each next step was going to kill me. I mean, kill me in the way I feared the most, take away my dignity. And the thought was terrifying.'

She looked up, realizing he was answering her previous question. How did you manage to forgive yourself? She gave him a slow nod, her previous fervor down. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Because forgiving him felt like she was betraying her dignity, putting herself in a situation where she could possibly get unreasonably hurt again. And she didn't want to ever go there. She'd hardly survived it last time.

'I spent a lot of time thinking how we got here,' Jess continued, 'I mean,' he let out a mirthless laugh, 'I'm well aware I stirred things in this direction, but in reality, how did I do it exactly? And I think that it was through doing a lot of little things consistently over a long period of time. And, as I've come to realize, most of those things hurt you beyond good measure.'

'What are we gonna do?' she asked, her voice timid and lacking its edge.

He turned to give her a look.

'You've showed me exactly what to do. I'm trying to do what you taught me.'

Her brows furrowed in confusion.

'I wouldn't have gone through this being the same man if it weren't for your continuous, consistent reminders that you loved me enough to go through hell and back with me. And the worst part of it is over. Now I know what I have to do. Little things I'm willing to do every day. Show up. Be there. Listen. And, eventually, kick myself to talk. But mostly, be there.'

Every day for the rest of my life.

'You're going to forgive me,' he said then.

He said it with the same astounding calmness, making the smug statement somehow sound wise.

'You're going to forgive me regardless I don't deserve it,' he continued.

Rory arched an eyebrow.

'You're going to,' he shrugged as if he was helpless to prevent her from doing so. 'Not because I'm deserving, or because I''l make the right amends, but because you still love me.'

As simple as that.

'But you need to know something.' He took a breath, calming his voice. 'You're gonna be okay. You're gonna find your way and I'll be close behind. But you'll find your way, with or without me. Because you're just that strong.'

She looked at him and her eyes shone with an emotion she had thought impossible to feel anymore, not when he was concerned.

'Thank you,' she whispered.

Jess opened his mouth to say something but seemed to lose the words. His eyes turned a deeper, intense shade of brown and he permitted himself a small breath in.

'You're gonna be okay, Ror.'

He lifted a hand and touched her cheek with his knuckles, the gesture subtle but affectionate.

'I don't ever want to feel ashamed for doing something out of love,' she said in a small, bruised voice.

Jess' hand froze before he let it fall back down, resting his elbow over his knee.

'You won't.'

He took a breath and studied her, the look in his eyes still intent. Then he let it out slowly.

'Come on, let's catch you a cab home.'

TBC