Life with Magnus

By Shin Sankai

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Author's Notes: This is the last chapter I've had time to fully write up and because of that there is a bit of a wait until I return from my trip. Um...sorry...I've left it on a bit of a cliff hanger...maybe?

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Chapter Thirteen

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Another week had passed and the "Bane-Lightwood" family was returning from the promised Saturday outing, belly's full of ice cream. It truly had been the biggest sundae all of them had seen, all 31 flavours were in a massive bowl for them to devour. Spoons were at the ready as the 'family of five' began their challenge.

They had succeeded.

"I don't think I want to see another scoop of ice cream for awhile." Magnus removed his jacket and helped Alec's boys do the same. Madzie had been with them, but she was actually spending the night at Clary's place if one could believe it. His adorable sweet pea was finally making friends!

"That won't do." Magnus turned to look at Alec. "After all, if you're going to be with me and the boys, they've always got ice cream on the mind." Magnus felt his heart flutter at the comment. With you and the boys... "You boys need to put your stuff away and we need to wash your hands and faces too." Magnus watched him direct his kids to the bedroom. He was about to go make them a drink when his gaze shifted back to his front door as there was a knock. Hmmm... Magnus wasn't expecting any visitors.

"Yes?" He voiced while opening up his front door.

"I'm looking for my son."

"Your...son?" Magnus blinked and took a closer look at the woman, the dark hair, those blue eyes, though they were colder then Alec's. This was, most definitely his...

"Hey Magnus, there is something I've been meaning to... MOTHER!" Magnus turned his gaze to a very shocked Alexander. He'd actually never heard him yell like that before. "What are you doing here?" Magnus watched him walk over with his long strides, a put out facial expression clearly visible.

"You gave me this address as to where you and the boys are now."

"Yes, out of courtesy so you wouldn't worry, not for the purpose of you just randomly showing up without notice!"

"Well, I didn't think you were actually living with someone... Let alone an actual man!" Magnus felt his eyes narrow. What the hell did this woman mean by that?

"Mother..."

"And I haven't seen the boys in awhile. Are you going to keep me standing out here?"

"This isn't my home." Alec voiced through gritted teeth.

Magnus was certain he had a headache, but nevertheless... "Alexander..." Magnus placed his hand on his forearm, knowing the man's mother gave him a narrowed look at the open display he used with her son. "Its alright." Magnus opened his door further, even if he was trying desperately not to concentrate on the thumping of his heart. He'd never met any of his past lovers family before...and he and Alec weren't even lovers! Though from what his mother said...she appeared to be misunderstanding their relationship right off the bat. Alexander's mother stepped into his home and he closed the door gently behind her. "My name is Magnus Bane. I look after your grandchildren at my Day Care." He watched her blue eyes turn to focus on him, almost stripping him down from head to toe. He'd already gathered that she disliked him from the minute she looked upon him. It was probably for the fact he currently had purple contacts in, his hair was spiked with purple spray and silver glitter was in it. He had black leather trousers on and a silk purple shirt. His eyes were accentuated by eye-liner and then he had three buttons undone on his shirt and one could easily see the four necklaces hanging against his chest. Not to mention the six rings on his fingers and the painted black nails too. So yeah, with scrutinising blue eyes practically glaring at him, first impressions, Magnus most definitely scored a big fat zero.

"Magnus, this is my mother Maryse Lightwood."

"A pleasure..." Magnus plastered on a charming smile, gave the woman a slight bow and then placed out his hand in a friendly gesture but Alec's mother was not budging. "Hmmmm, tough crowd..." Magnus murmured as he slipped by a slightly smirking Alec as he decided it was best not to stick around when mother and son clearly needed to talk.

"Max, Raphael, your grandmother is here." Pounding footsteps whizzed past Magnus in the hallway which led to the bedrooms as Alec's young sons came to greet the now smiling woman as she gave the boys hugs. Her pissed off attitude melted away at the sight of innocence.

Whilst his mother was distracted for a moment, Alec quickly walked after Magnus, catching his arm before he could enter his bedroom, their eyes locking. "I'm really sorry about this." Magnus pat his hand lightly.

"Let me place my things away and then I'll make some tea." It didn't take long for Magnus to place his stuff in his room, and he thought it best to change, placing on a plain black button down shirt and removed his leather pants for silk ones instead. There wasn't much he could do with his hair, but he did remove the contacts. Leaving his room, door clicking closed, he gave Alec an odd look as he and his mother, and the boys were still standing in his entrance foyer. "Why not take a seat whilst I go get that tea for you?" That seemed to jolt the two adults from their staring competition as Alec showed his mother to one of his couches.

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When Magnus moved back into his living space, at the archway between his living room and the kitchen, tray in hand, he couldn't help but notice Maryse was sitting rather stiffly on one of his couches, even if her grandsons were on either side of her. It was then he recalled the let alone an actual man comment Maryse had voiced and his guess about Alec coming out to his parents and causing a rift between them was most definitely what happened now. Plus, normal men weren't really touchy feely like the two of them had been, not that much had happened, but there were the hand touches, the caresses on the cheek, the way Alec stood so close to him teaching him archery for a moment... No normal man would do that.

"When are you coming home Alec?"

"I'm not." The man voiced defiantly.

"What you said to your father and I...surely its just some phase you're going through. It'll pass soon."

"Excuse me?" Magnus could feel Alec becoming uncomfortable, but he was also getting angry too.

"We've all been a bit off lately, but surely you didn't just say that to get our attention."

"WHAT?" Yeah, Magnus was right, Alec was definitely angry.

"And what about poor Lydia?" Magnus had wanted to cut in on the chit chat that was going on, needing to defuse the situation before another rift occurred between mother and son but froze from moving forward when he heard a woman's name fall from Maryse Lightwood's lips. And then there was the way Alec stiffened at the name too. "What happened that day Alec, its been nearly two years, no one blames you."

"I don't blame myself!" Magnus jolted on the spot, much like his two young sons did at their grandmothers side. The strain in his voice made it seem like he was desperately trying to keep his cool...and failing terribly at it. Whilst Magnus had no idea who this Lydia was and what happened, he thought it best to now interrupt, clearing his throat and plastering a smile on his face.

"I've made the two of you some tea and the boys can have their favourite juice." Everyone took their respective drinks, the living room going deathly silent.

"I've an idea, why doesn't Maxy and Raph come to the park with me?" Magnus could feel narrowed eyes on him. He watched the boys drink their drinks down in seconds flat, eyes sparkling in excitement at going to the park. "It'll give the two of you a chance to talk." Magnus turned his warm gaze to a very uneasy Alec.

"Thank you..." Magnus rounded up the boys, placing on their coats and headed off for a late afternoon outing. This was definitely no place for young ears that's for sure.

"Daddy looked mad at granny." Max pouted up at Magnus, his tiny hand being enveloped by his much larger and warmer one. Raphael was against his right hip, playing with his spiky hair, still too small to understand the tension between his father and grandmother.

"They just need to talk is all, so that's why we left to give them some space. And its good for us, because we get to play in the park instead of listening to boring adult talk." Magnus grinned at the giggling boys, placing Raphael on his feet as he watched them race to the swings. He glanced back over his shoulder, as you could see his red brick building where his loft apartment was from this small park and what he wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall in there right now. Magnus did narrow his eyes for a moment... Lydia...?

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Alec rushed down the street, looking left and right before crossing the road as he dashed for the park. It was getting dark and the talk between him and his mother hadn't really gone far...even though he felt like it went on and on. It was once again mainly about him wanting his parents attention and that opening up to them about being gay was sure to blow over soon enough.

In the end, Alec ended up yelling at his mother, something he'd never done in his life. He ended up pushing her out of Magnus' home, not wanting to be in her presence lest he say something even more hurtful. He did go on to say that he was still a Lightwood, still her son, her flesh and blood, whether she liked it or not.

"Magnus is a good man!" It was the last thing he'd blurted out to his mother, leaving her on the street as he turned his back on her and broke into a jog, heading for the small park closest to Magnus' building, knowing that is where the man would have taken his sons.

He too knew his mother had completely misunderstood the relationship he had with Magnus, but he never bothered to correct it. Was that...unfair to Magnus?

Alec finally reached the park to see Magnus watching the boys playing on the swings, his back to him as he was sitting on the sea-saw, keeping a close eye on them. He looked a little funny and probably uncomfortable as his tall form was crouched and slightly hunched, elbows against his knees and hands cupping his face. Just what are you thinking? Carefully Alec sneaked over, arms rising as he pulled down on the other side of the sea-saw, registering just how light Magnus seemed to be, since he did pull it down with more ease then he thought he would. He listened to a gasp escape Magnus' lips as his feet lifted off the ground, his right hand quickly gripping the handle bar for support since he hadn't been straddling it like one usually would.

Alec did something he normally wouldn't do when Magnus jerked his eyes over at him, now looking down at him from his raised height. Alec ended up straddling the seat and pushed off the ground, curious as to what Magnus would do when his own boot covered feet touched solid ground again. Both men had small grins on their lips as Magnus took on the challenge, sitting properly on the seat. It was quite a sight to see two grown men moving up and down on playground equipment, a few mothers taking their children home for the evening and glanced their way in curiousness at their antics.

It didn't take long for Max and Raphael to forgot all about the swings as they both wanted to have a go on the sea-saw now. Instead of getting off, Magnus coaxed Raphael to his side, placing him in his lap, telling him to hold on tight and Alec did the same to Max. Squeals of delight filled the park.

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When Alec finally had enough, he reining the "child within him" back inside and persuaded both boys to have one last go on the swings before they would be heading home. Magnus quite liked the way Alec had called his place home...and then there was the fact that Alec hadn't even realised he called it home to begin with. Both men took a seat on a bench, their eyes on Max who was giving Raphael a push, making sure not to push too hard as per his father's request.

"Are you alright?"

"Of course."

"Really?" Alec turned his gaze to Magnus who tilted his head, he following his gaze to notice he was nervously tapping his right knee. Alec quickly stopped.

"If its complicated you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

"Magnus..."

"I wasn't trying to listen in," Magnus felt Alec stiffen beside him. "...but I'm sure your mother is just worried about you."

"Its very annoying."

"At least you have one that worries about you."

"I...sorry..." Alec instantly recalled Magnus saying his mother was dead. And whilst he now knew Catarina and Magnus did think of each other as mother and son, the man would still feel something, even if he tried ever so hard to hide it, in regards to his birth mother.

"Its quite alright."

"Would it be too bold of me to ask...what happened?" Now it was Alec's turn to feel Magnus stiffen beside him, instantly becoming uncomfortable. Of course it was too bold! Alec you idiot! "Sorry, forget I said..."

"She was ashamed she had me." Magnus took a quick glance at the wide eyed disbelieving look on Alexander's face. "Given a second chance, I'm sure she wouldn't have birthed me at all."

"Magnus..."

"Her husband at the time, my stepfather, the Frenchmen, had been away for a long time and my mother was weak and lonely, desperate for attention and affection. She fell disastrously into the arms of my father. He cast her quickly aside when he found out she was pregnant. He was building his empire and didn't need her cramping his style. So she returned to my stepfather who accepted her back, but things were never the same...apparently. However, once my father got wind that my mother had birthed a son, he ripped me away from her, primping me to take over the family business."

"Family business...?"

"Bane Industries,"

"Oh!" Alec had heard of it but hadn't even put two and two together until now.

"Life was not easy under his control." Alec watched Magnus closely, hands clenching together. "Truthfully, I was terrified of him." Alec bit his lip watching the frown deepen, a look of darkness pretty much enveloping Magnus' entire being. Wait...does that mean...

"Was he...abusive?" He felt his chest tighten when Magnus gave a tiny nod. How he wished he could go back in time and protect a tiny Magnus from his father's wrath. No child deserved that from someone they hoped would love them. And a man like Magnus, who was filled with warmth, sweetness, kindness and what seemed to be an abundance of love, did not deserve to be treated like that at all!

"When I was eight, I ran away." Alec's blue eyes widened. So very young... "I had found a letter my father was hiding with my mother's address on it and I went straight to her home. She was surprised to see me and in the end I'm pretty sure she took me in out of pity. Maybe she thought she could get some money out of my father for looking after me..."

"Magnus..."

"She died a year later and it then became just my stepfather and I." Again Magnus shifted in his seated position, trying to compose himself. Don't tell me... "He...like my father...was not a nice man." Alec felt his chest tighten once more at Magnus' soft and sad voice. Abused at the hands of two men, not just one. What more could such a young Magnus put up with? Could things get any worse? "Everything was my fault. I killed my mother."

"Wh-What?" Alec felt his heart hammering in his chest and ears.

"Not literally," Alec let out a rush of air at that. "Though that is exactly what my stepfather said to me, over and over again. My very existence had killed her he said. I shouldn't have been born. That truly does a number on you when you are 9 or 10 years old." Alec couldn't help it, his right hand went out to Magnus, grabbing hold of his left one. He had waited with baited breath for the man to flinch and pull away, but it appeared he was so lost in his past memories that he hadn't even registered that he was holding his hand. "I couldn't take the abuse...or the torment of truly thinking I had killed my mother and ran away again. I had no other family, and there was no way I was going back to my real father either. He didn't bother to try and find me when I left in the first place." Magnus shrugged his shoulders as he looked down at his hands, finally realising that Alec was holding his hand! Oh... "S-So, with no parent or guardian looking out for me, I ended up on the streets of Brooklyn. I was on my own, worthless, feeling like I were pond scum...or something more horrid, I can't think of an example right now, and just wandered around aimlessly. Next thing I knew, another year had gone by and then I found myself on Catarina's doorstep by sheer luck. She took me in."

"Thank God for Catarina..." Magnus looked over at him for a split second and Alec felt his shoulders sag when he finally detached his hand from his. Why won't you let me touch you?

"Catarina was the first I ever felt love towards. I was really messed up back then and Catarina...saved me." Alec was in utter shock, having watched Magnus' eyes tear up. He watched him clear his throat, hands brushing over his face, into his spiked hair and then he suddenly stood up. "Well, there you go, my sad but true early upbringing."

"Magnus..."

"I hate thinking of the past." Alec bit his lip at that. "I've never even told Catarina how I felt about all of it." Does that make me special? "Now that its all out, feel free to show me pity Alexander."

"Magnus!" He turned at his name, at the desperation in Alec's voice, and felt his eyes widen as the father of two took several steps forward, wrapping his arms around him in an instant! Again he couldn't help but stiffen in the man's arms. They were warm and comforting, but he didn't want to get used to feelings like that. Feelings like that caused him way too much pain. "I don't pity you Magnus." The man felt himself hold his breath as Alec's deep voice fluttered into his right ear. "I'm sad for you. You didn't deserve that at all." Alec tightened his grip on Magnus. "I wish I could go back and rescue the young Magnus from all of that." Magnus closed his eyes, a tiny smile playing on his lips.

"Thank you,"

"No, thank you for telling me. I know it was none of my business, and I could tell it was very hard for you to open up, but to think you did... It means a lot to me that you chose me to be that person."

"Well...there is just something about you Alexander Lightwood that makes me feel like I could tell you anything...trust you with everything that I am." Finally Magnus pulled away to gaze into intense blue eyes. "I've not felt like this about anyone...not in a very long time." Me too! But it never reached Alexander's lips and he felt ashamed of himself when Magnus shifted his gaze away, most definitely closing himself off once more. He could tell he was perhaps expecting him to say something to him, but of course he never did.

Both men jolted when arms tried winding around their legs.

"I want hugs too!" Raphael beamed a smile up at them.

"A-And you shall have the biggest hug of all!" Magnus detached himself from Alexander and swooped down, twirling Raphael around in the air and then gave him an almighty squeeze. He was biding his time as to not look over at Alec and instead basked in Raphael's giggles. Thank you for the rescue sweet boy.

"Let's get some takeaway and go home." Alec called out to Max and then the four headed off, heading for their local pizza joint to make an order and then back to the "Bane-Lightwood" apartment they went.

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The next day, with Madzie not coming home until the afternoon, had Magnus, Alec, Max and Raphael piled onto the two seater couch, crammed together and watching cartoons this Sunday morning. They'd woken to a light snowfall, it quite exciting for the boys as a white Christmas was drawing closer. With the crispness in the air, the heating went on and Magnus had called today 'Pyjama Party Sunday' as they ate a yummy cooked breakfast, cooked by him of course, and they all remained in their pyjamas. Well, Magnus and the boys were whilst Alec just lounged in a pair of grey sweatpants and a white singlet, clearly not owning any form of sleepwear. Max and Raphael were in matching winter pyjamas, space themed with stars, planets and rockets over them and Magnus was dressed in a pair of red and black silk pants and matching dressing gown which was tied tightly closed this time.

A cartoon had just ended and Magnus handed the remote to Max as it was his turn to pick the next channel when he turned his head having listened to a few knocks at his door.

"Madzie isn't due back for hours yet."

"I'll get it." Alec was up before Magnus could stop him. It didn't take long until he heard, "What are you doing back here?"

"Alec...please..." Ah, Maryse Lightwood had turned up unannounced again. Clearly she'd not finished talking to her son yesterday.

"We've nothing more to talk about." Magnus could hear the strain in Alec's voice once more, his brown-amber gaze dropping to pouting faces.

"Granny is upsetting daddy again." Magnus gave the boys quick hugs, picking a channel with a funny cartoon on it and then turned up the volume, trying to drown out the arguing duo.

"Stay here and I'll go see what is going on."

"Mother, I think its best you leave."

"I've still got something to tell you." Magnus watched Alec place his hand against his mother's back, pushing her out the door a little forcefully. "Its Lydia!" Alec froze. "She woke up!" All forceful movements on Maryse Lightwood stopped in an instant.

"She...woke from her coma?" Maryse nodded her head. "When?"

"About two months ago."

"And you didn't think to tell me then?!" The anger was coming back thick and fast.

"She's been recuperating. She's come along in leaps and bounds, but learning to walk, talk and write again after so long, it has been very taxing on her." Her blue eyes shifted away from the hardened stare she was receiving from her first born. "I figured I wouldn't bother burdening you with that news with...everything that has been going on as of late."

"Regardless of what's been going on between us as a family, I still deserved to know if there was ever any changes in Lydia's situation. She would be wondering why I haven't come to see her since she woke...and lets not forget the fact she is the mother to my kids!"

"How could I tell her anything? She's trying to get better and that would just place even more stress and strain on her already weak mind and body if I told her you were now living with...with...a man!"

"His name is Magnus." Alec grit through clenched teeth. "Don't be disrespectful. He's taking very good care of us whilst the apartment is under repair."

"You could of come home."

"Never!" Alec watched the hurt flash through his mother's eyes and closed his own for a moment. He needed to get his control back. "I needed to be free. I needed...to be myself."

"How long...have you been...you know?"

"Forever, I just never told you and dad."

"But Lydia... She'll get better and the two of you can get married." Hope flashed in her eyes.

"Um," Alec felt his body stiffen as he didn't even realise Magnus was only several feet away from him and his arguing mother. But then how stupid was he not to realise that when his voice raised, of course the man would come and check up on him. Slowly he turned to glance his blue eyes over his shoulder, heart clenching as Magnus was gazing down at his alien slippers on his feet. "The both of you are arguing quite loudly, its upsetting Maxy and Raph." Finally Magnus raised his gaze, already seeing the absolute disgust in Alexander's mother's gaze before raising them to look at Alec. "Either lower your voices and talk civilly to each other, or go elsewhere."

"We were just finishing up." Alec commented, watching Magnus nod his head as he left him to it.

"Mother, with everything that happened, I never did tell you that I was on the phone to Lydia before her car accident." He watched his mother's eyes widen. "After Raph was born, we knew the pressure to marry was looming over us. And with the pushing and shoving by you and dad and Lydia's parents, on the day she was coming to the church, we were on the phone agreeing that we couldn't go through with the marriage."

"What!?"

"She was coming to the church where we would both address our families and come clean." Alec took a deep breath. "She knew I was gay from the beginning, as did Izzy and Max." He watched his mother's mouth drop open in shock at this news. "You and dad were the only ones I was keeping it from. And its also why I didn't have a problem with her running away to be with the man she loved." Maryse's eyes widened. "I could no longer hide who I was from you and dad and it was unfair to ask Lydia to go through something like that too. We promised to remain friends, to live our lives as how we wanted to live them, no more hiding, and that is when I heard her scream and then there was the screech of tyres and the phone cut out."

"This cannot be true. Tell me its a lie. How will your father and I face the Branwell's?"

"Not everything is about you and dad." Alec snapped. "I'm sorry you're so ashamed of me."

"Alec..."

"Please leave." He opened the door wider, never having closed it when his mother had arrived to begin with. He watched her finally retreat, rather stiffly too, and then closed the door on her frowning face. Alec closed his eyes, leaning heavily against the door and taking in some deep breaths to calm himself down.

"Alexander..." He jolted on the spot, snapping his eyes open to see Magnus had once again come to check on him. "Lets try and enjoy this lazy Sunday, I'm planning on cooking a roast for dinner tonight and afterwards, when the children have gone to bed, how about we sit and have a good chat?"

"Magnus,"

"Please Alexander, complicated or not, I can at least be an ear for you." Alec could see the hopefulness in his eyes. The man had opened up to him and now it was time for him to man up and do the same.

"Okay..."

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Later that evening, several drinks had been drunk, mainly by Alec. Magnus had come to the realisation that Alec was starting to prefer a scotch or whiskey rather then his famous martini. He was a little sad about that, but Alec still enjoyed him making his drinks so at least that was something.

"How much did you hear...from yesterday and even today?"

"Lydia..." Magnus said it so softly, but Alec had heard since he watched him flinch, a frown on his lips.

"We were meant to get married." Magnus' eyebrows rose at this. "We met when we were 17 years old. Even then she could probably tell I was...different. Though we didn't care, she became a very dear friend to me. It was our parents who decided to form their own opinions about us. And whilst I was hiding from who I am, Lydia remained at my side, allowing me to hide behind our fake relationship. And during our time together, I wanted her to run away, to chase after the man she loved...and she did." Magnus turned his attention to Alec who was lost in his thoughts, gazing into the scotch he held between his fingers. "Her happiness did not last long, for the man she truly wanted to spend her life with, tragically died."

"Oh my..."

"She returned to New York, returned to the small home we rented together to recuperate. I tried to help her through it, as her friend...and she tried her best to do the same for me when Max died. And even though we had all that tragedy, we've always been great friends, so much so that on the first year anniversary of Max's passing, we stood at his grave and realised that nearly ten years had gone by since we first met each other." Alec took a large gulp of his scotch, his throat parched. The alcohol hit his cheeks instantly. Plus the flood gates had been opened, and Alec was finally pouring out his soul...for the very first time. "Besides Izzy, that's the nickname I have for my sister, Lydia knows me best. As I said, there is much I try to hide, but even she realised over the years how much I wanted to be a father. You've no idea how shocked I was when she offered to be the "vessel" so I could become one." Magnus furrowed his eyebrows at that. Alec had come out as gay, but for him to have had sex with Lydia (twice...or more...) wouldn't that mean he should be bisexual like himself? "Though we didn't even have sex the proper way in order for her to fall pregnant. As Lydia said...there are other ways." Magnus arched an eyebrow at that, trying to process everything in his head and jolted as Alec flopped down on the couch, his head now resting against his pyjama clad left leg. He had been sitting at one end and Alec at the other, he gazing into his martini glass, but now he was looking down at a flushed Alec, one hand splayed against his flat and muscular bare stomach and the other was rubbing at his forehead. Maybe he really was a light weight when it came to alcohol. "Is it hot in here or is it me?"

"You..." Magnus blurted out, holding his breath to see what Alec would say to that.

"After nearly ten years together...but not together...Lydia and I were getting pressure from both our families to wed." Clearly he hadn't been paying attention to his slip of the tongue. "According to my mother, children born out of wedlock was just a massive taboo in her books. Like her and my father can talk with his cheating ways and then she stupidly took him back, having Max in the hopes that would fix their problems. Of course it didn't...and then Max was killed anyway..."

"Oh Alec..." Magnus was finding out a new side to Alexander, noticing with a bit of alcohol in his system, he was quite the rambler in his tipsy state. Softly he placed his left hand on Alec's head, fingers brushing gently through his soft jet black hair.

"The day of the wedding, I called Lydia to tell her I couldn't do it. I couldn't continue with the lies and I didn't want her to either. I finally started to accept I was different, even if it took many years to admit it at first. I really was ashamed of myself. Izzy and Max, even Lydia herself, said nothing was wrong with me."

"Nothing is wrong with you Alexander." Magnus confessed, perhaps a little too softly as Alec's eyes were still closed off to him.

"Lydia and I agreed that we would sit our families down and come clean about everything. Not long after that is when I heard screeching tyres and her scream and then the phone went dead. Several hours later, after the wedding was called off when Lydia didn't show, police came to inform us that Lydia had been taken to hospital and once we rushed there, we found out she was in a coma."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"That was nearly two years ago. And now my mother has just shown up and told me she's woken up! What do I do? Raphael was only six months old back then, he wouldn't have a clue who she is. And Max would have just been over two at the time, so I don't even think he would truly recall her as well. I didn't want them to see her in such a state so I never took them to visit her in hospital. Does that make me a terrible father?"

"Oh Alexander," Blue eyes finally snapped open as Magnus placed his hand against Alec's cheek and leaned down, pressing his lips innocently into Alec's jet black hair and also partly on his forehead too. "You aren't a terrible father. You were just trying to protect your sons." Magnus jolted back, surprised as Alec quickly sat up, though for a moment there he thought the man may faint as he seemed a little dizzy at the sudden change from having been lying down to now sitting up.

Magnus observed Alec get a little more comfortable on the couch, cross legged and faced him now, a rather serious expression in his eyes, lips in a thin line as he was trying to make up his mind on something. Surely you aren't thinking of... Magnus' eyes widened when Alec leaned forward, sealing his lips over his own! His heart sped up, his breath hitched and again he froze on the spot.

Alexander's lips were soft and warm against his own and he felt his eyes flutter closed as he was being drawn in, feeling almost intoxicated as Alexander shuffled awkwardly closer, one leg drawn over his own and his large hands gripped his shoulders rather desperately.

That immediately snapped Magnus out of his daze, one hand flat against Alec's bare chest, right where his heart was thumping rapidly beneath it, as he painfully pushed him away.

"Magnus..." How he loved the way his name sounded coming from Alexander, but he desperately needed to compose himself.

"Perhaps its best..." Alec felt a lump form in his throat. "We don't go any further then this." Magnus truly hated the look that flashed through Alec's eyes at his words. He was not a silly man to know the two of them had chemistry. It had begun right from the start, when they met at Ragnor's and of course with living under the same roof now, it had grown even more. There was so much potential for them, Magnus knew this, but with everything going on, the look on Maryse's face, with this Lydia waking from her coma and how important she was to Alec, and the fact she was the boys mother, and then there was also how conflicted Alec was in regards to his sexual preference. He also now knew Alec hated the thought of going against his parents, even if him being gay was now now in the open, but still, he could very well go back on it to please them if he truly wanted to. Magnus couldn't afford to invest anymore into this or else he was certain he'd be damaged beyond repair if Alec decided to change his mind.

"Magnus...wait..."

"You aren't ready for this Alexander." He screwed his eyes shut when Alec slammed his lips against his own, this time out of sheer desperation. It was so hot and sweet but then also bitter at the same time. The feeling made his heart clench and he felt sick to his stomach as he wanted to cry. Magnus cupped Alec's face, being drawn once more into the lip-lock but after brushing his hands through Alec's messy hair, rational thoughts finally struck him like a punch to the gut and he pulled away like he'd been burned. When his eyes fluttered open, crystal blue orbs were already gazing at him, shining with a vast amount of emotions.

"We can do this." I...I don't want to let go! "I want this." Alec shuffled in his seated position, hands going out to hold Magnus' a little painfully tight. "I want you Magnus." Please Magnus...

"You're drunk Alexander. You need some rest."

"Wait,"

"You've had quite an eventful day. So much has been going on that I think you need time to think everything over and tomorrow you'll realise this is not a good idea once your head is clear."

"You doubt my feelings for you?" Magnus' gaze dropped to his hands which were no longer held within Alexander's. How he already missed the man's touch and felt his breath hitch in his throat when Alec shot to his feet, pulling away from him. "Fine..."

Magnus bit his bottom lip, watching Alec stomp away from him, listening to the bedroom door open and then close with a resonating echo, shutting himself off from him, shutting off his heart.

"No more...no more then this." Magnus voiced pathetically to himself, flopping onto the couch and pulled the plush white blanket that hung over the couch over his shaking body. "I can't..." Magnus curled within himself, trying desperately to shake off the hurt look on Alexander's face and screwed his eyes shut. How he hated that look and desperately wanted to run after Alec, burst into the bedroom and tell him he'd been lying all this time. Of course he wanted to be with him too, so very much he did, but it was too late now. He was certain Alexander hated him. Magnus bit his bottom lip, quenching his sob from breaking into the quiet of his living room, not wanting anyone in his home to hear his pain.

Why did nothing in regards to love ever go right for him?

# To be continued #