The Cuckoo's Clock Song
Part Two: Swings in the Abyss
"Adversity is like a strong wind that takes away everything except the things that cannot be ripped away. In it we see ourselves as we really are."
Arthur Golden
...I was in the middle of a gloomy hall.
I didn't know how I ended there or rather, why I was there. Wherever I turned, I saw nothing else before my eyes but a sordid and infinite darkness... The only light came from a blood-red carpet that shone beneath my feet and stretched on both sides until it was lost in the darkness, like if that had no end. Nothing was heard, not even my breathing... although it would feel agitated and leave behind a faint silvery mist. A cold coursed through my bones and crept into the hem of my skirt... All I wanted was to get out of there. But as much as I tried... I didn't see any way out. I walked forward, I don't know how long... but I saw nothing but the faint glow of the endless carpet and the darkness around it.
I stopped, breathing more agitatedly than before. I was scared, the air in my lungs seemed to have turned solid and got stuck in my throat; It was a terrible sensation, that kind of terror that invades every inch of your body, where you don't know where you are or think something was about to happen to you... I looked in all directions with my eyes wide open, preparing for something that will come out of the depths of darkness and could be thrown over me. Then...
"Nana… Nana!"
A voice came to me, quite far away and from what I could see, it had emerged from behind me. My whole body was paralyzed, I even had the feeling that even the heart had stopped... I couldn't believe it: It was my mother's voice.
"Mom..." I whispered hesitantly. I turned slowly, pleading with all my strength not to see something horrible... There was only darkness. I felt even more afraid than before... For a moment, I thought it was just a trick of my imagination, but then it sounded much louder:
"Nana…! …NANA!"
A mysterious force forced me to run following that sound... For a few seconds I only saw the red carpet sliding at high speed under my feet... The screams were getting louder, as well as my own fear... At that moment, I realized about something: Why would my mother be in this place, if... she died so many years ago? Would this be...? (A chill ran down my back...) Would this be the place where all the dead people go? The... Hell? No, no Nana... don't think like this: It cannot be Hell; my mother was always a very good person and... there was no fire anywhere... With one hand squeezing my chest tightly, I kept walking. I heard the rumble of my own heart and my ears buzzed...
Finally, I stopped. In front of me was something: There was a large, elegant and stately bed, where a woman was lying with her back to me, surrounded by beautiful red roses and wrapped in a brightly colored nightdress. I walked slowly until I reached the head of the bed; Tears coursed in my eyes... Seeing the pale green hair swirling on the feather cushion, I recognized her: She was my mother.
"Mama" I wailed between sobs, slowly approaching her with anguish waving, until I was at the head of the bed... She didn't answer my call. I laid a hand on her long, silky hair, down to her shoulder, waiting for her to turn and look at me and smile at me... She didn't do anything. "Mommy, it's me, Nana..." I whispered, grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her... To then scream with all my strength.
Her face, usually kind and beautiful... it was just a rotten skull.
Her light green hair was spread out on the pillows and fluttered like snakes, while the red roses rotted and blackened before me in a matter of seconds... I was completely petrified, watching the macabre image... And suddenly, the skull's jaw opened by itself and from that and from her eyeless holes, a river of black cockroaches crawled out, letting out terrible screams... "NANA!" the horrible being shouted at me, suddenly rising from the bed. In disgust and absolute terror, I tried to retreat and run away... feeling suddenly caught by a pair of hands pressed tightly, as if they were pincers about to tear my arms... I screamed with fear and started to struggle, but they never let me go... With my heart skipping down my throat, I dared to turn around.
After the shadows came the Duke of Venomania. His face was completely disfigured, with horrible spots, fissures and welts running along his cheeks and nose. His eyes were red and intense like embers, digging deep without blinking into mine ...
"Can you see, Nana? You're my maid. You're mine. I am your owner... And you can never escape your destiny..."
"NO! NO!" I screamed with all my strength, closing my eyes, "NO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO…!"
…CUCKOO! CUCKOO…!
I woke startled.
I blinked several times, until I got accustomed to the slight glow emitted by the small room. I was sitting in the little rocking chair in the living room, where I had just been weaving a new shawl for the lady of the house... I should have fallen asleep... It had been just a nightmare... But what a nightmare! I took several deep breaths with my mouth open, realizing that I wasn't in that awful place... I rested my hand on my chest, feeling the violent beating of my heart gradually subside.
"It was a nightmare, Nana... It was just a nightmare," I told myself, rocking myself gently, trying to calm myself down, making sure again and again that this horrible image wasn't real. No, it wasn't real. But Holy Mother, I felt that so real... I let out a loud sigh, closing my eyes... Then a sharp pain made me open them and look down at my lap: At some point in my nightmare, one of the knitting needles had buried deep in my thumb, dripping blood on the white cloth.
I left the cloth rest in clean water and after cleaning and bandaging the wound in my finger, I sat down again on the rocking chair, this time with a new shawl to finish taking a hem that it needed. After a couple of minutes making the needles tinkle, I stop for a moment of my work, contemplating the pale sunset through the narrow window. It was a bad time of the year, and these were just signs that winter was going to be very... very hard. And proof of this was in the meager dinner I had managed to do with much effort for my new masters, with a few victuals and a couple of vegetables that remained in the garden... Even so, it was the least I could do for them; for my new masters had welcomed me into his house, the same day that I had left the forest.
My new masters, the Kasanes, owners of a small pub on the outskirts of town, had given me the job of housekeeper. I was in charge of the house keys when they were working, and I took care of their clothes and food. It was practically the same job I had before, but at least they did not shake me, shout or insult me every time... I must admit, it was a nice job, not having to wake up every day with hunger, cold and fear... As it was before for me... and for Len.
Four years without seeing my little Len.
Len...
Where would he be now? Would he still be with Duke Gakupo? My mind catapulted into that gloomy hall... Listening to the purple-haired man who told me that Len was going to stay with him, that he had chosen to stay with him... And that I had not been able to believe it; and I still don't believe that until now. Sometimes I felt terribly guilty, of not having been able to take him with me, of not being able to face the Duke for him... I looked around the cozy little house of my new masters and a pang of pain overwhelmed me thinking that Len could have been here, working with me, happy and calm...
Or maybe he had escaped, like me? I thought (and begged) that yes: Without me, Len would have twice as much work, between cleaning and cooking... And with Gakupo attentive to the minimum error to punish him... Another twinge of pain came to my chest as I recalled the terrible punishments that Gakupo had infringed him. I prayed that Len had escaped, and if he had, that he was safe and sound... "Holy Mother, please protect him," I said, clinging to the small golden cross that hung under my nightgown on my breast, which my new mistress had given to me.
"Len..." I whispered closing my eyes, making an effort to remember... Only managing to see in my mind a tousled crown of yellow hair, pale blue eyes and a treble voice... A radiant smile when seeing the small marzipan cookies in the oven... A small trembling body in my arms and pieces of broken porcelain around us... A hand saying goodbye to me on the last step until disappearing... A small tear escaped from me without me noticing.
At that moment, the door opened, and Mrs. Kasane entered, huddled over her husband's shoulder, crying and practically screaming. Her husband literally dragged her inside, and then slammed the door behind her. I got up scared releasing the shawl. What had happened?
"Mrs. Kasane, what has happened to you?" I asked, holding her, for the woman was shaky. Sitting her on an armchair, I patted her on the arms. "Mr. Kasane, what's wrong?" I added in a louder voice and looking with fear to my master, who was standing, silent, showing a terribly pale face... Then I realized something I hadn't noticed before: "...where is Miss Teto?"
The woman let out a howl, covering her face with her hands, trembling in a paroxysm of pain. My breath caught in the middle of my throat. Where was Miss Teto? She had told me she was going around with some friends to buy some pins in a store and that she would soon return...!
And hugging his wife, he gave me a small object, sobbing. I contemplated the little gold brooch that had the words "Kasane Teto" engraved on one side. "They found this at the entrance to the forest," I told myself as horror surged through my body as if it were acid ...
And hugging his wife, he gave me a small object, sobbing. I contemplated the little gold brooch that had the words "Kasane Teto" engraved on one side. "They found this at the entrance to the forest," I told myself as horror surged through my body as if it were acid...
"...Since dawn, your life will change forever..."
At the entrance of the forest...
"... a face for which NO woman (...), would ever resist ..."
At the entrance to the forest is where it was...
"At last I will be able to take revenge on all those who dared to make fun of me... They will pay for it when I take away what they love most... Thus, they will know what it feels like, they will tremble and suffer..."
I looked up, watching my masters go out into the street, where an armed mob was waiting for them. I looked again at the little brooch... while the nightmare that I had was replaying in my mind, making me shudder. And then I remembered that... thing I had seen in the mirror of Duke Gakupo, that night... "At dawn, your life will change forever... you will have a face that no woman will resist..." I whispered terrified... That same night, El Duke Gakupo had told me that he was going to take revenge on all those who made fun of him, about what that Miss Gumi had done... That he was going to make us pay for everything he had suffered...
He had started.
…
Thus, every day that passed, Asmodín had to suffer the terrible news that some woman, whether it was a mother, a sister, and even a daughter who has barely stopped playing with dolls... had disappeared without a trace.
It didn't matter if she went out alone or with friends, all vanished without leaving traces, like disappeared under the handkerchief of an illusionist. They were absolute hours of anguish and suffering that passed their poor relatives, relentlessly recording every inch of the town, asking each person if they had seen them for the last time somewhere... without achieving anything. Then they organized themselves in long searches at the end of torches and sniffer dogs through the forest to the river, calling them to urgent cries, whose echoes were lost to the deepest points of the trees until dawn.
At first, it was believed that it had simply been a case of fugitive young lovers, something quite common these days... But soon, the epidemic of disappearances spread like a terrible disease everywhere, affecting both poor and rich families... The fear of the women began to appear among all, and the villagers tried to use measures against it: They tried to go out as little as possible and whenever possible accompanied; curfew was established at twilight, so it was recommended that at dusk we all take refuge in our homes...
But when it was learned of the disappearance of a little girl of only 10 years, the fear turned into panic... No one was safe.
Let's get ahead a year later.
…
I walked slowly towards the main square with a basket hanging from my arm, because today was a market day, where I would sell the last good vegetables that the Autumn wanted to give us. It was early in the morning, the sun came out of the gray clouds. The silhouettes of the houses and the trees of the town were distinguished among the soft fog. I stopped to rest for a moment in the small park, which at that time was deserted... Although in fact in recent times, almost haven't see children play on it on weekends.
I sat on one of the swings, contemplating the strange but beautiful contrast of the sun's lights between the gray fog, which blurred the objects around me...
For some reason, I started to push myself forward and backward, until my feet swayed again and again... Don't look at me like this, my friend; I may be on the verge of turning forty, but in that moment... I really felt like a little girl again. I laughed when I felt my hair float in all directions like the ruffles of my dress, with my eyes closed, my hands clinging to the chains that held it, hearing the creak of old wood move from the hinges of the swing…
"Mistress! Mrs. Kamui!" I called her panting to the young woman with purple hair who was in front of me.
My mistress walked with an energetic step, almost jumping, while I tried to catch her up... Finally she stopped in front of the park. She remained languidly observing the wooden constructions of the swings and other child games. She didn't turn around when I arrived at his side, breathing hard to catch my breath.
"They're still here... I thought they had been damaged."
"Mistress?"
"I talk about the swings, Nana" the Duchess of Venomania explained, turning her head to see me, "when I was a child I played here on the swings. Look how old they are now... It makes me feel old."
"Please don't say that, ma'am! You are not so old." The woman looked at me with raised eyebrows," I didn't mean that... " I said hastily, feeling my cheeks burn, despite the cold autumn "I meant that you look very good for your age, you look so beautiful... I screwed up and spoke with too much ease; I'm so sorry, ma'am" I said, tilting my head, embarrassed.
"...Hehehehehe" the ragged giggle of my mistress made me raise my head, to see her bringing a hand to her mouth to hide her small laugh, although she was eluding her. "I love that about you, my young Green Apple: you always say things as they are and you are not afraid to do it" the Duchess said smiling and placing her hand on my hair, slightly ruffling it.
"Thank you, ma'am," I stuttered, sketching a bow. The woman looked back at the swings, this time with a sigh that denoted nostalgia... Then an idea occurred to me: "If you allow me, ma'am, I can suggest that you order to build swings in the castle."
The Duchess opened her eyes in surprise "Swings?"
"Yes, that way you could play with them and go back to be the girl that you were... Bu-but that still lives here" I said cheerfully, clapping my chest. "My mother always said that we all have a child inside our hearts, no matter how old and wrinkled we are... I did not mean you, of course!" I added quickly, blushing again.
"You know? I like the idea" Mrs. Kamui said, closing her eyes and smiling. "I'll entrust the carpenter to build me one in the garden... It will be perfect for Gakupo..." And while saying that, her expression became sad "I really don't know what to do with him, Nana. Everyone laughs at him, even the other Dukes and Counts when they come to visit us... How I wish he had at least one friend..."
"That's very sad, madam," I mused, nodding. "I wish I could help him."
"Sure..." the Duchess of Venomania murmured, looking at me. "Of course, you can, Nana. You can invite him to play on the swing that I will build... You can be his friend."
"I? But, but... " I stammered, bewildered, "but ma'am... I cannot be his friend..." Seeing the bewilderment on her face, I added, "I'm just a maid."
"So what?" the woman laughed, "You can be a servant, yes, but you are my most trusted person and you are kind. Who better than you?" She leaned down to crouch in front of me. "Take it as a favor for me, ok? Can you promise me? Will you always his friend and will you be with him?"
"I... I... I'll do it with all my will, ma'am," I said smiling. My mistress smile at me and stood up again. We left before it was done later, and as we passed through the entrance and climbed the stairs, I looked at the beautiful garden opposite, thinking how beautiful a swing would be there...
"Mrs. Kamui..." I sighed, opening my eyes, after having lost myself (again) in my world of memories. That woman would always occupy a special place in my heart. Since she took me as her servant until the day that she died of a smallpox outbreak... Yes, the same smallpox that years later would claim the lives ofalmost half the inhabitants of Asmodín, including Len's parents.
I let out another sigh, remembering the swing that Mrs. Kamui had built in the garden, among the orange trees and the arch of white flowers... Small and hidden, it looked very beautiful there. Fulfilling the wish of my mistress, I invited the young Gakupo hundreds of times to play with the swing... but I always got the same answer:
"How dare you, a maid, invite the heir of the Duchess to play?" I would make you punish "And always, after spitting that in my face, he retired to his room or to another side, crestfallen and sad.
...I looked up and watched the ceiling of the tower of the Clock Tower of Duke Gakupo's castle in the distance. It was the only thing he could see of the building. How would it be now? Would everything look the same or has it changed? All this I asked to myself when I contemplated the spiky roof of the tower...
A year had passed.
One year. A damned year since I was literally cast out of that place, that huge stone castle where I lived, worked and slept for almost twenty years; during which I spent the happiest and most horrible moments of my life...
"(...) Finally I can take revenge on all those who dared to make fun of me... They will pay for it when I take away what they love most... So, they will know what it feels like, they will tremble and suffer ..."
I shuddered at that phrase, so distant and at the same time so present in my memory. "Is it true what he said? Is it true?" Although deep down, I knew it. I knew it was true... How else will less than half of Asmodin's women have disappeared? Did the earth swallow them up or did the malignant Hamelin Piper come? (1) I gave a brief laugh of pure black humor... and seconds later I was disgusted with myself.
Should not I alert the townspeople to what was happening? Should not I do something?
I have to do it. Although it was possible that they won't believe me, I must do it. Frightened by the feeling of solitude in the haze that was lightly painted gold, I left the swing and headed to the main square.
¡Jesu, dulcis memoria,
dans vera cordis gaudia!:
sed super mel et omnia
ejus dulcis praesentia.
Nil canitur suavius,
nil auditur jucundius,
nil cogitatur dulcius,
¡quam Jesus Dei Filius!
I looked up, attracted by that choir, almost heavenly, that could be heard clearly across the market square, where moments before I was buying the few good carrots that were left; the voices came from the open door of the Church... It must have been something very big, I told myself, because more and more people came to see what was going on inside, so I myself approached there.
I had never seen the Church so crowded: All the banks were full, so there were some standing or sitting on the floor .. There did not seem to be room for one more soul. As I could, I moved among the people and sat on the windowsill. There he saw the parish priest waving a silver bell that at the same time expelled ash around him. The chorus on the side sang in unison, chanted by the rest of the crowd.
In front of the altar was a large oil painting of a young girl with short green hair and dressed in very elegant clothes, who looked at those present with a sweet smile and at the same time arrogant... It was the image of Miss Gumi Megpoid. The woman who had ridiculed Gakupo... and, to the extreme, to have provoked this nightmare. Flanked around it, there were several white and pink candles burning, giving a pleasant glow. The parish priest stopped shaking the bell, so the songs fell silent.
"Pray... My brothers and sisters, we are here to raise our prayers to our Lord and his merciful Mother, as long as they listen to our prayers... We pray for our sisters, friends, daughters and wives, who have been missing for almost a year... We pray for their soon return, to grant peace and the relief of their families, who wait for them, confident that the Lord haven't forgotten them.
At each word of the priest, I felt like an invisible cord clogged my throat more and more, preventing me from breathing... much less talking. I looked up as I heard the whispering prayers, sobs and lament of the shattered families... I noticed a little girl crying tears alive in her father's arms, whispering her mother's name... I felt terribly miserable. These people were suffering for their missing relatives, not knowing what had happened to them... Completely ignorant of what was happening right now. One year... My God, how could he have allowed this to last so long? And when would it end? My mind was catapulted into a little messy blond hair and blue eyes... Len, my little Len... A year has passed, and I had gone without being able to say goodbye to him or explain to him... Would it be that he's missing me? Would it be... that he's hating me now...?
So great was my grief that I almost didn't notice how the parish priest continued with the mass:
"Someone is here to give a few words of encouragement to the families of the missing women... Our powerful and generous lord, the Duke of Venomania."
…That name.
Before that sound, my sight rose abruptly from where moments before I was nailed to the floor, loss in my memories... For a moment, as long as unbearable, I wanted to believe that I had heard wrong... But no: my old master , Duke Gakupo himself, had emerged from the shadows and was walking towards the altar, with his head down and his hair thrown forward, partially covering his face...
...I couldn't believe it: it was him!
I gasped, as if the air in my lungs had turned to ice. I had seen that face almost exactly a year ago, when I was crossing the big double door of that castle, just before he was...
"We thank you, my good sir, for your coming," the parish priest said, bowing to him. The Duke raised a hand, hinting that he should stop.
"Don't thank him, Father... It was my duty to be here, both with my people, and with God." The Duke Gakupo replied, addressing the villagers with a solemn, loud and sonorous voice. "I want you to know that my heart is with all of you... and that I would give even my own wealth and title of Duke, if that would help you find your loved ones... I am sure, that they will return... someday. And they will do it safe and sound."
The Church literally erupted in shouts and cheers.
People stood up from the banks practically in unison to applaud. Everywhere there were exclamations of joy, as if they were standing before Jesus Christ himself. People said loudly: "Blessed be the Duke of Venomania!" "What a good and generous man!" "Long live Duke Gakupo!" while they tried to approach him and greet him. Relatives of the victims approached the purple-haired man to kiss his hands and give him blessings... I stood there against the window, breathing agitatedly, feeling my face burning.
I couldn't believe that the Duke Gakupo had dared to come to this place... Icouldn't believe that the Duke Gakupo had dared to speak to the desperate families of the missing women... I couldn't believe that people acclaimed him as if indeed he was a hero or a saint... When it was very sure that he held them captive, for his diabolical pleasure...
At that moment, I caught sight of the girl with the short green hair I had seen before... now hugging the Duke's leg, while he was stroking the hair of her head with a sinister slowness... Then to see a disturbing red flash from between his eyes hidden behind the fringe of his hair, looking her better. For a moment I was petrified at what had just happened almost in plain sight.
"My lord, I present my little daughter, Iku."
"It's a real pleasure to meet you, little one..." the Duke Gakupo replied with a disguised purr in his voice...
...There I couldn't take it anymore.
...
I don't know at what point my paralysis disappeared. I don't know when I got up... I don't know at what moment my throat let out a scream that reverberated, like a ghostly echo, through the vaults of the Church... I only know that that scream was still heard through the walls and roof of the building:
ENOUGH...! ENOUGH...! ENOUGH...!
Attendees jumped from where they were, making the laughter, blessings and hallelujahs they were dedicating to the Duke immediately mute. The silence spread like a circular wave as strongly as the sound of a trumpet. Hundreds of heads turned back... And thousands of eyes were fixed on me. For a moment, nothing happened, while they watched me with eyes full of surprise... Then, full of anger.
"Lady! How dare you raise your voice like that?! This is a sacred place!" The priest exclaimed furiously. Around him, people started to murmur and point at me... That would have intimidated me before... but I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't silence that anymore. I started to walk forward, while people moved away from me, determined to speak, to tell the truth, to say... things as they are. As Mrs. Kamui had always told me: "...I love that about you, my young Green Apple: you always say things as they are and you're not afraid to do it..."
"Yes, Father, this is a sacred place... And that man is definitely NOT!" I exclaimed bravely, pointing with a finger. People turned to the direction I pointed: It was neither more nor less than Duke Gakupo. I remained ecstatic for a few seconds, breathing agitatedly and entrusting myself to the Heavens...
Certainly, I expected God to hear me tell the truth and drop a ray of light on his Gakupo, to make it appear that I was telling the truth. During those same seconds, I imagined everything: The villagers would believe me and together they would surround Duke Gakupo and arrest him. Then everyone would go to the castle and when they opened the doors, the women would run away, happy to be free at last, until jumping into the arms of their rediscovered and grateful families... And maybe, maybe... among those hundreds of feminine faces, I would find the childish and happy face of my dear Len... And so, this nightmare would finally end...
...But that didn't happen.
People murmured more noisily than before, increasingly tense and wild, sounding like a menacing swarm of bees. I felt as if at some point, they would jump over me, like a pack of hungry wolves.
"What are you talking about, woman?" I heard someone from the crowd.
"She's crazy! Get her out of here!"
"I say that this man... this man is not who he says he is!" I continued speaking louder, trying not to lose myself in the fear, taking several steps forward. People were turning away from me, almost with horror... But I didn't look at them: my eyes were fixed on the Duke of Venomania, who, even though his eyes were covered... I was sure he was looking at me fixedly also..." The Duke of Venomania is lying! He says that his heart is with the families of the disappeared women... That is a lie! He only has hate and choler inside his heart!"
People shouted around me, completely upset: "How can you say that? Duke Gakupo is a good and generous person! You should be ashamed!"
"Shame on you to praise him!" I yelled louder than before, determined to let go of everything, I was going to reveal what he really was, why didn't they see that?! God, help me to make them understand...! I mentally prayed as I moved closer and closer to him, shoving the villagers away "He knows what has happened to the missing women! He... He invoked the demon to obtain them! I myself saw it with my own eyes...!"
...Then I felt a hand slapping violently against my cheek, stunning me.
"BLASPHEMY!" the priest shouted, who had been the one who had hit me. People literally pushed themselves to try to destroy me right there.
They didn't seem to have realized that we were inside the Church, inside a sacred place. They didn't seem to have realized that it was a fight of all against one... They didn't seem to have realized that they were lashing out with a poor old woman.
They threw themselves on me, preventing me from going back. Hundreds of hands threw themselves at my body, tearing the sleeves and ruffles of my dress, slamming my basket with the food I had bought with great effort, grabbing my hair and arms and shaking me violently, while they were vomiting the worst insults:
"She dirties the name of our benevolent Lord with slanders! Shut her up!"
"No, burn her! Hang her in the gallows! She's a witch!
They pushed me violently over the hall that led to the grand entrance. My hair was completely disheveled, and my clothes were in tatters. I tried to get up, but the pain of the blows and shakes that had made me was too much for me... Oh God, was this what I deserved for telling them the truth? What will they treat me like a scum? I felt then that a pair of hands grabbed me tightly by the arms and pulled me outside, like a rag doll, while my cries of pain and agony mixed with the screams of villagers' rage...
"PLEASE! I'm telling the truth! GOD KNOWS WHAT I'M SAYING...!"
"DON'T INSULT GOD, WHORE!" And a spit fell on my face.
...I felt exactly the same when Gakupo, a year before, had dragged me inside after hitting me. Throughout the journey, I heard people chanting:
"Pennitenziaguité! Apologize to him or you will regret it, liar! Pennitenziaguité!"
"Pennitenziaguité! (2)
They were screaming at me to regret... Regret of what? Of having told them (or rather I tried) to tell them the truth? No. I knew I had done well, even though it wasn't enough for anyone... I looked up during the humiliating tour, observing the image of the Virgin on the top of the altar. Her gaze was so sweet and compassionate that it only made me cry. "Somehow... God knows I'm telling the truth" I thought releasing several sobs, letting myself go, this time without fighting... Until they threw me into the mud of the entrance to the Church.
I got up slowly, splashing through the muddy, nauseating water, realizing I was surrounded. The other villagers, attracted by the scandal that I had unleashed, had approached the entrance. I could see in each of their faces anger, fear and discomfort. "She's a poor crazy woman" they must be thinking at this moment ... People kept silent, as if waiting for me to say something else... But no. I knew it was useless to try again to convince them that the Duke Gakupo was the cause of the disappearances... I only said:
"When the truth comes to light for the blind who refuse to see it, you will remember me... God knows what happened, and he witness how you all treated me..." I said as I pointed towards the cloudy and dark sky at that moment, between the tears that were pouring down between the dirt and the mud of my cheeks... "People are bad... All of us... and we do bad things to others, many times without knowing... And when we want to repent, it's too late... I'm not asking you to repent of what you have done…. I just hope that someone will stop that man... and finish with all this pain."
I stared at them, breathing with great difficult, waiting and begging with all my might for someone to believe me, even if it was just one... The people of Asmodín answered my prayer... laughing at me. I saw how their faces deformed into mocking grimaces, like horrible gargoyles, while continuing to point at me with their fingers: It was as if I were some kind of clown for them... That's what I was: A clown... A madwoman who just wanted to get attention.
Then I saw how the Duke of Venomania, who during all the ordeal that had fallen on me, hadn't said anything or moved a muscle, was making his way into the entrance of the Church, staring at me behind the curtain of hair. We were like this, face to face, he with his elegant clothes and shining with jewels; Me with my clothes torn and emaciated by fatigue and tears... Even so, I stood erect, defiant, determined not to be afraid, not to let him win... He just giggled, short, but cruel giggle.
"May God inspire you to repent, Nana Macne," Gakupo said loudly.
"You are not ANYONE to speak in God's name... Because God is not inside you" I replied, squinting.
A tomato crashed against my back. Then two more, this time on my cheek.
Silently, I turned and walked to the path that led to my home. At my step, some kept throwing tomatoes and other vegetables (luckily, they weren't rocks), while others continued to shout me insults and exhortations to repentance. ("There goes the demented one!" "Pennitenziaguite!" "Look, the crazy of Asmodín!" "She is a lying witch!" "Go to Hell, old harlot!" "Pennitenziaguite!" "Pennitenziaguite! ") All their echoes resonated in my ears. I almost didn't see where I was going, because the tears clouded my sight.
Only when I arrived at my home and bolted the door, I could finally collapse and cry.
I cried to exhaustion, almost drowning in tears. As that little girl had done in the Church (Who knew that she was already on her way to Duke Gakupo's castle, to be his vile prostitute) I was crying loudly, whispering to my mother, my old mistress, to anyone to come to help me, to practically to the dark nothing in my room... I felt that I was going insane, unable to continue resisting... I just wanted to go, go away...
...and never return.
…
Many things have happened since the terrible episode of the Church. Despite all my efforts and everything I tried to make people see who the real villain of this story... Now I was the bad guy in the story.
I couldn't go out into the street without people murmuring, laughing without even trying to hide it, or simply pointing his finger at me: "Look, there's the crazy Asmodín: she wanted to stain the name of our good Mr. Gakupo; They should lock her in one of those loony houses."
Why should I be locked in madhouse... if I was already stuck in the middle of one?
A part of me wanted to answer them, defend myself and try once more to make them see that I was telling the truth... But then I hid my face as best I could under the hood of my cloak and away from them: "They do not want to understand... ONLY they'll understand when it's too late for them" I would mutter to me... Without realizing (or maybe not caring) that people would hear me talking to myself.
With the people against me and taken by everyone as a crazy deranged or who knows... my last masters, the Kasane family, kicked me out of their house.
Scared because my savings would not last forever, every day I went to the town square in search of a job, even if it was a tiny one, in order to earn a miserable coin... Needless to say, my reputation prevented me from obtaining it. So, dead of shame, I picked up the few vegetables that were left, no matter how rotten they were...
With what I had been able to save in these four years of some slack with the Kasane, I bought a poor little house that was on the edge of the forest. It was a small, run-down house with no garden (and no swings); only with an old shed completely empty. Inside there was only one bed, a fireplace and some chairs. The afternoons passed with an almost absurd slowness, where I was left staring at the void or the wall (the truth didn't matter which), sitting on the edge of the bed in one of the seats, losing myself in my thoughts...
To save a little more, I had to go through the forest behind my little house (but I never went too far), stirring the frozen ground in search of mushrooms and fallen grain in the fall; it was the best I could get, because I was too sick and weak to be able to hunt an animal (and besides I didn't know how to do that: Len always hunted and I was the one who cook what he got), orlook for a fish in the river, where I only wash my old dressed and drink some water... Because unfortunately, this life between hermit and expelled was destroying the poor health I had left.
I was trapped in a maelstrom of fear and pain, so intense that it made me often lose track of time... and sometimes of reality: I could surprise Nana laughing loudly as the little girl who walked the green and flowered fields with her mother, or repeated the beautiful songs of praise to God that her mistress sang with a melodious and sweet voice, sitting in front of the huge fireplace in the living room... Or Nana letting out cries and sobs as she remembered each blow, insult and humiliation that she had received in the past, either by the same bad man with purple hair (bad man... bad man), or in his name.
The nights were undoubtedly the hardest: In the midst of the glacial and penetrating cold of the end of autumn, I snuggled up in the small bonfire that I managed to make, lying like a scared bird that between them and my few blankets, to warm me up. Scraps of memories, the same nightmare of limbo and the corridor where my mother was, and the terrible humiliation of the Church came (many times at the same time) to mortify me between moments of complete happiness and total terror... It was dark and I was very afraid, afraid of everything that surrounded me, of the uncertainty of what would become of me, of this same nightmare that, like memories, come to haunt me almost without rest, fear of the impotence of continuing to fight.
Believe me, my friend. If it weren't for what happened that sad autumn afternoon that I saw him... the rest of my nights I would still wishing to be dead.
...
"My ball! My ball!"
I heard a child shouting in the distance. I turned around the instant I saw a small blue taffeta ball fall into the box of potatoes. It was practically beside me, so it was just a matter of reaching out and taking it before it got dirty with the dirty water.
"I think you dropped this" I said kindly to a little boy who came running apparently from the other side of the square. His embroidered jacket was sweaty and he was breathing hard. Seeing his toy again, he composed an expression of relief as he approached me... But when he looked up (I think) to try to thank me for rescuing his toy, his eyes made up an expression of horror.
"Mommy! Mommy!" He began to scream, taking the ball almost with a swipe and running to an elegant woman with a pink umbrella. The mother caressed the silky dark hair of her child while she gave me a look of disgust and contempt.
"You must be more careful, Luki. Who knows what that crazy woman could have done to you... Better let's go." And grabbing him by the shoulders, they walked away.
Seeing them disappear, I let out a slight sigh. I was already beginning to stop caring what others said and thought of me. Grabbing the potatoes from the bottom of the box, I put them in the pockets of my cloak and prepared to hurry away, waiting for the clothes line to not have caught me...
...And after taking less than three steps, I slammed myself with a boy who was going in the opposite direction.
"Excuse me," he murmured. "I didn't notice where I was going..."
"It doesn't matter, boy," I said, rubbing my head with the shock and the surprise. I looked up to see him... And my eyes widened just like those of the little boy in the little ball, just moments before. I couldn't believe it…"...Len? Is that you?"
"How do you know my name?" the young man asked in a surprised tone.
God! With every second that passed, I was more and more convinced that it was him. Jesus Christ, it was him! But... he wasn't anymore the child I remembered either! Didn't I remember him as a small, sweet and shy little boy? Now he had stretched out and looked almost like a man... But then when I passed the joy of finding him again, I was filled with astonishment: His cheeks were sunken, as were his eyes, which no longer had that bright and innocent glow, but rather looked tired and sad. His skin almost looked grayish and his hair floated in the same way that he did under the cloak... Len was frightfully thin and emaciated.
And that only had a logical explanation: Gakupo.
And all this time I had believed (and begged) that Len had escaped from him... I had been wrong.
"Oh God! How your stay in that damn house has rocked you!" I exclaimed worried trying to touch his cheeks, although he backed away. "Oh Len! Why haven't you run away yet? Wasn't it enough to spend a single day with that jackal?" Len, scared, started to back away... maybe he didn't recognize me yet because of my cape (and my current appearance shouldn't be better than his…) I got closer to him, lowering my hood further... "Don't you recognize me? I'm Nana... Nana Macne... The old cook of Duke Gakupo."
For a few distressing seconds, Len looked at me with a total bewilderment in his face, while I prayed with all my strength that he could recognize me... until his eyes widened, with that shine that people have when they finally remember something. I must admit that his expression was a bit funny.
"It's you, Nana!" Len exclaimed, clutching my forearms affectionately: Now he was so tall that he can reach there. "Centuries have passed! Where did you go? Or rather... Why did you leave? The master said that you left because you were indisposed in health..."
"He lied" I interrupted him, angry: I knew it: I knew that Gakupo had told him lies about my disappearance... But now I could tell him. I could tell him the truth: "Yes, I'm indisposed... but of the soul. Years ago,... " I lowered my voice to a whisper, but because of fear itself... "I received a blow, from which I will never recover. You didn't see it, Len. Oh, God prevented you from seeing that!" I felt a little dizzy and dropped to a bench behind me, breathing deeply.
"I don't understand, Nana" Len said sitting next to me, more confused than before. "What happened? What did you see?"
Believe me, telling that to Len was so terrible, because whenever Ispoke, that scene was redrawn before my eyes, as horribly vivid as the one of that same night... And at the same time, it was so liberating. Finally, someone was listening to me and believing in my word... when I had come to believe that my word was completely worthless, because it was that of a madwoman:
"Oh my! That happened to me for being curious! It was when Master Gakupo returned to the house. He was sad and enraged at the same time: Apparently a lady named Gumi had made a fool of him in front of other people. He was really upset: He was talking to himself and wringing his hands (Although I didn't worry, I was already used to his eccentricities...) And one night... I heard strange noises in his room... I, who was suffering from insomnia, I dared to see through the door: Gakupo was in front of a mirror, kneeling in the center of a pentagram painting with pig blood and candles, invoking the Devil... and what I got to hear ... He was asking for the power to attract every woman who looked at him..."
At the end of my story, Len was downcast, his eyes lost and his thumb sliding over and over on the handle of his wicker basket full of eggplant on his legs. I could almost feel the swarm of thoughts he now had in his mind. "I'm sorry, I don't like to talk about this. Now I want to know... Why didn't you leave the house, Len?" I asked him, eager to know more about him, about everything that had happened in all this time... Len's gaze turned between sad and ashamed.
"Because I simply cannot... Before, what kept me from leaving that house, was the gratitude to Master Gakupo for giving me a job and a home, instead of staying in that damn orphanage... I've been serving him all these years, fulfilling the obligation of the servants to keep the secrets of their masters... " Len's voice sounded so broken, so different from his sharp and melodious tone of yesteryear... "But now... but now the master has taken as my concubine my own twin sister, Rin..."
His gaze faded into a shattered, pain-filled expression. "Oh God, have mercy!" I said covering my mouth horrified, understanding the magnitude of this nightmare that was destroying this town... I remembered the girl that Len always spoke to me, that he had sworn to protect her, even with his own life, like a true chevalier.
"...I confess that I have tried to eliminate the master of... various ways, and he all have survived blissfully. I don't know what else to do, Nana..."
I looked at him sadly, wishing with all my strength to help him... But what can a poor old woman do that besides... she was crazy? Even so, I wanted to comfort him, so I put a hand on his shoulder, trying to understand that there was still hope, even if it was small and almost unattainable... At that moment I looked up and observed the parish priest of the Church... Yes, the one who slapped me. I didn't want them to see me with Len, because they could harass him because of me... I got up slowly, turning my back on him.
"In this world there are three justices, Len: God's justice... the devil's ... and the own's justice. I would like to help you in making the lousy dog explode... I must go... Trust in God, Len... and he will help you."
I strode away, feeling my heart breaking into pieces by leaving him there alone. Four years (Four!) To see him again... Only to find out that he was suffering much MORE than me. I thought about that little girl... Rin, I think she's called that, trapped in that horrible house, among several (or hundreds) of other women, at the complete mercy of Duke Gakupo, forcing them to do who knows what horrible things to satisfy his disgusting pleasure…
It was a terrible nightmare. A nightmare difficult to wake up, to face... or even to try to escape from it. It was only fear and uncertainty, without knowing what was going to happen...
Gakupo have us all trapped in this terrible game, which was like playing swings on the very edge of limbo.
To be continued…
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Author´s Note:
(1) It refers to the Pied Piper of Hamelin, a German legend that tells how a flute player helped the city of Hamelin with its plague of mice. When the citizens didn't pay, he took revenge on them using his magic flute to attract the children of the village making all dissapared... Except for one lame child and one blind child.
(2)"Repent!" In latin. It is also part of the choir of the song "Witch Hunt" by Luka Megurine, with the choir of Gakupo Kamui Miku Hatsune and Rin and Len Kagamine.