To say he was furious was an understatement.

Freeza was beyond furious. He clenched his teeth in anger, his face a perpetual snarl as he spun around in his cocoon, surrounding by sickeningly bright and friendly fairies.

Of course the monkey didn't keep his promise, he thought bitterly. What else could I have expected from a saiyan? But mark my words, Son Goku. I may be dead but my revenge against you and the universe is inevitable.

One of the fairies flew up to his cocoon. "Aww! Why the down face?"

Freeza's eye twitched as he imagined twenty brutal ways of torture for his happy perpetrator. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Another fairy tutted. "Uh oh! Look's like someone's unhappy."

Freeza screamed from his pupa, the sound screeching and torturous. Once he had gotten that out of his system, his (superficial) heartbeat returned to normal. Instead of paying attention to the singing and dancing stuffed animals parading at the bottom of his tree, he occupied himself by forming revenge plans. All of them seemed good but there was always one complication... he was dead as a doorknob and would remain that way unless an outside party intervened. Which obviously wasn't going to happen since the entire universe hated him. Of course there were the small remainders of his crew that had survived when he and Sorbet hadn't. But what could they possibly do?

So Freeza indulged himself in dark thoughts of death and destruction, all the while being surrounded by a beautiful meadow inhabited by cute, fluffy animals and giggling fairies. No prison would hold him forever, not even death. He had all the time in the world; someday he would escape hell and return back to the living realm. And when that happened, no one was going to escape unscathed.

"Niifa!" her assistant Moblit* called from the hallway outside the lab. "Are you coming? It's been a long day at work and we're going to get some drinks!"

"Not tonight, guys," the Head Technician replied, brushing her hands over some schematics in a vain attempt to smooth out the wrinkles. "But don't let me stop you. Go on out and have fun."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." She sighed and rubbed her temples. "Kafara's a patient person but we all know that she's a megalomaniac with a shit ton of power at her hands. If I don't get this done soon then it'll be my head hanging up on her throne room."

Moblit went up to her, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He towered over her at six foot but Niifa didn't mind it. In some way, it was oddly endearing. Moblit wasn't the cutest face on Kafara's Fleet but he was truly a gentle giant at heart. "Don't worry about it too much, Niifa. You'll find a way. You always do." He ruffled her blonde hair, making her face glow with delight.

Niifa smoothed down her angelic curls, her ears perking. "Well... I guess I could always go for that drink. But it's on you, 'kay?" Who says flattery doesn't get you anywhere?

Moblit pumped his fist. "Yes! Attagirl, Niifa!" He directed his voice to the lab door. "Hey guys! Niifa's joining us after all!"

A tide of voices sounded.

"Wow, really?!"

"Nice going, Moblit!"

"She really needs to get out of the lab more. Can't be that healthy working in there all day."

"How do you do it Moblit?"

"Moblit, you legend!"

So the elite tech squad wandered down the winding corridors of Kafara's ship, not at all lost by the seemingly endless maze. They were docked on Planet Virkulian, a place where Kafara had some 'unfinished business' as she claimed. The gigantic ship, suspended in the air and roped to the surface of celestial body with klangite, nearly loomed over half of the planet, casting a dark shadow overhead city center.

"Requesting access," Niifa said to the computer as they stopped at the closed entrance.

"Recognized: Head Technician Niifa. Access granted," chirped the computer. "Have a nice night!" The doors opened for them, exposing them to the cool air outside. Thankfully, it wasn't raining. The last time it had rained, Niifa had been outside, unaware that the rain was dangerously acidic. By the time she had returned to the ship, she had had multiple chemical burns that had required a full hour in the regeneration tank to heal.

"So good," sighed Yvonne, the 'rookie' of the team, as they floated down to the ground. "Screw the project. We really need to get out more."

"Don't let Kafara let you say that," warned Benzert, his bushy unibrow moving downward in a frown. He lowered his voice. "She's got ears everywhere."

At that moment, one of them farted. They all burst out into laughter.

"Yikes! Hope Our Lady didn't hear that!" Yvonne joked.

"Gosh, who was that?" asked Niifa, pinching her pink nose. "Peeyeww!"

"My bad," Muto, an octopus-like creature said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head with one tentacle. His beak turned upward in a small smile. "I put too much soy sauce on my lidroach roast today."

"No shit!" exclaimed Moblit. "It smells like you dumped a whole bottle of it in your food."

Benzert watched on, his eyes twinkling with amusement. He was always one who preferred to stay silent, even when his friends burst into raucous laughter. The howling didn't stop even when they reached the local tavern, though the volume had significantly lowered.

Moblit suavely ordered drinks at the bar, leaving the barmaid gushing over his antics. She slipped them a free drink, winking at Moblit as he took the moonshine. Their night was just getting started when a creature not anything like the insectoid Virkulianins entered the inn. He was a purple humanoid with lighter patches of lavander and wore a dark trench coat. His hands seemed to be attached to his pockets.

"And then!" Yvonne snorted, sloshing her drink. Being young and a total lightweight, she was already smashed after one drink. "He walked in on his own parents doing the deed -" She cut herself off, looking around suspiciously. "What's up guys? Why aren't you laughing at my ridiculously witty storytelling?"

"I feel like something's about to happen," Muto said nervously. A trail of black ink leaked from his body, spreading across the floor.

"Eww, Muto," Niifa hissed, folding her legs upward to avoid the mess. "And as for you, Yvonne, look who just arrived. He's not from around here. That's why everyone's got their eyes on him."

Indeed, every eye in the room was focused on the newcomer, who looked as if he were bored. Niifa smacked her lips in anticipation. Muto was right. Something was about to go down and it wasn't going to be pretty.

Ignoring the attention, he shuffled forward toward the bar, where the barmaid looked at him skeptically, her many arms placed on her long torso.

"I'm not familiar with Planet Virkulian," said the stranger, and it took Niifa a moment to realize that he was talking to her.

"Not many people are," Niifa replied, keeping her guard up. There was something strange about him and she didn't like it. Benzert put a large, meaty hand on her small shoulder, silently warning her not to antagonize or interrogate him. "It's what most would consider a backwater planet," she continued. "Why are you here?"

"On business." He did not elaborate.

"Hmm." Niifa raised an eyebrow at him. "Good luck with that."

"May I help you?" asked the barmaid, talking to the purple humanoid. "Or are you just gonna sit there?"

Unsurprisingly, he ignored her. Instead, he had his attention focused on something sitting behind Niifa: Yvonne. The girl was busy getting smashed on multiple shots and remained oblivious to the attention she was receiving from him.

Muto tapped Yvonne on the shoulder with one of his tentacles. "Psst. Hey Yvvy, I think that guy wants to bed you. He's staring."

Yvonne drunkenly glanced up at her starer. "What do ya want?"

"Come outside with me," he said briskly. "I need to talk to you."

"Uhhh okay..."

Yvonne let him lead her outside. At the bar, her friends and squadmates looked at each other in worry. Quickly, they got up, Moblit tossing a cheque at the bartender for their drinks. The Virkulianin's patterned eyes lit up as she caught sight of the huge overpay.

Outside, thunder clouds were rumbling. It was going to rain soon. All the Virukulianin were hastily trying to get indoors to try and wait out the oncoming squall lest they be caught out in the deadly rain.

"We have to hurry," Niifa said, her voice taking on authority. "We shouldn't have let that bastard take her aside! If she gets raped or sexually assaulted by that freak I'll never forgive myself."

They saw the mysterious man emerge from an alley, looking as cool and monotonic as ever. He flew off somewhere but Niifa and her friends weren't worried about him right now. If the man had indeed done something to Yvonne, he would pay for it later. It wasn't like he'd be hard to find anyway with his unusual appearance.

"He came from here," mused Benzert, turning around the corner. His beard and face fell at the same time as he saw something. "Oh no." He rushed over to a heap on the ground.

"What the heck?" muttered Moblit, he, Niifa and Muto following Benzert's lead.

Niifa gasped as she Benzert picked up something - no, someone - from the pavement in his arms. Yvonne! "THAT BASTARD!" she screamed, running forward only to be held back by an equally stricken but more controlled Moblit. Muto had released at least a liter of ink from wherever, trembling on the spot. "MOBLIT! LET ME GO THIS INSTANT!"

"She's dead," Benzert said bleakly. He had closed her eyes upon finding her. "She's really gone."

Niifa's grief-induced howl reverberated across the city.

Kafara leaned forward in interest as she saw Hit appear in front of her. He must have used that remarkable ability of his to materialize so suddenly. "Is the deed done?" she demanded, clicking her nails on the arm of her hoverthrone.

"Yes," answered Hit, unfazed. "Now where's my payment?"

Kafara smirked. "Already added to your vault." She held out her hand and sauntered toward Hit. "Now for the second part of the deal."

Hit removed his hand from his pocket, revealing a small pint of his own blood. Kafara's eyes lit up with bloodlust as she eyed the corked vial. "Excellent." She took it from him, her slender fingers pinching the neck of the vial. "You've done well, Hit. You really have. Have you considered my offer of letting you join my empire?"

"No. Whatever you say, I'll still refuse. I am my own person, not a pawn."

"Really? Not even for the money?"

He didn't hesitate. "Not even for the money. My specialty is assassination. Do not make me repeat myself."

Kafara scowled at him, displeased by his bluntness. "Or what?"

She got no reply. Hit was already gone. She growled in frustration and contemplated smashing the vial before thinking better of it. She needed his blood after all. She uncorked the bottle and downed the contents in one fluid motion. "Delicious... How can such a bitter creature produce such sweetness?" When reminded of his rudeness, she glared at the floor, proceeding to pace around her throne room. "At least he got the job done," she muttered to herself. Kafara threw the vial into the air and shattered it with a well aimed chi blast. The pieces fell at her feet. "I have no use for spies. Tch. Yvonne... you could have been something great if only you had come clean and aligned yourself with me..." I wonder what her name really was... 'Yvonne' is not a saiyan name...

Someone knocked at the door. Kafara ignored them. They could wait. She paced even more furiously. "Monkey brat... Now who does that remind me of?" An image of Caulifla flashed through her mind. "Oh yes, her... She was a fun little thing while she lasted. Clever too, far more than Yvonne who had failed miserably at her espionage." I wonder where she is now? Living on Sadala with all the other apes still, I expect.

Finally, she decided to answer the door. She did not have many visitors - most were too scared to dare approach her first. It was something that Kafara found constant delight in.

An alien resembling an avian bowed as he saw her. "My Lady, Head Technician Niifa is reporting a murder. The casualty is one of us."

"Yes, yes," Kafara said dismissively, knowing full well what Niifa was talking about. After all, she had sent the greatest assassin in the universe to dispatch of the spying saiyan. "Tell the Head Technician that we will be investigating the matter and that I offer her my condolences."

The bird-creature bowed once more before retreating down the hall. He shrieked in surprise when Kafara suddenly appeared in front of him with no warning.

Kafara chuckled darkly. "Now, is that any way to greet your esteemed leader?"

"M-my Lady!" he stuttered. "H-how?"

Suddenly, Kafara was back at the doorway of her throne room and leaning against the frame of the door. "It's not something you need to know... I was simply... testing my abilities. You may go now."

With a startled noise, he scuttled away with his feather plumage between his talons.

Kafara closed the door and smiled up at the high ceiling of her quarters. "If I ever see you again, Hit, I really must thank you." She appeared at her throne, then somehow teleported to the corner of the room. "Time-stopping... an ability evolved from time-skipping... You really are a marvelous creature, Hit!"

Goku and Caulifla woke at the same time. Kale was already gone; they could feel her not too far away. She was probably fishing or something. Goku had not returned home the night before. Instead, he had stayed with Caulifla and they... had done things. When he got up, he expected a roll of guilt but, surprisingly, felt nothing.

Next to him, Caulifla was stretching, her back curving as she exercised her arms. "Have a good sleep?"

"Better than ever," Goku said, yawning. "I just feel like relaxing though... No training today."

"Huh?!" She stopped putting her clothes on. "What are you talking about? I thought we were going to be training for blue today."

Goku waved off her concerns. "Be patient, Cauli. We'll get to that. But today, we rest. I'll take you to meet the gang." He tapped his chin. "If I remember something, Bulma invited me over today. It's supposed to be a party." That means Chi Chi will be there... Oh well. Maybe she'll listen to what I have to say this time.

"A celebration for what?" asked Caulifla, tipping her head to one side.

"For surviving," Goku answered, sobering Caulifla.

"Right." Her voice held a nervous edge to it.

Poor Cauli... thought Goku. Not existing... that sounds like a terrible fate. You can't even die!

"We should get ready then," Caulifla said, still sounding slightly uncertain.

"Not yet." He nipped her ear, making her squeak in surprise. "First, some other things."

"Pfft, you horny bastard."

Goku smiled as he kissed her. Now there's the Cauli I know.

"No training?" parroted Cabba, looking up in surprise at Vegeta. "Is this about me being too weak, Master Vegeta? I can improve, I really can -"

"Shut up, brat," Vegeta growled. "The woman's having a party today so there will be no training. Under her orders, you and I are supposed to," he grimaced, "socialize and have fun."

Cabba was downcast. "Oh..."

"Don't give me that crap."

"Erk! S-sorry. Should I get something formal to wear?"

"No. The armor you're wearing is formal enough in saiyan culture."

"What about by earth standards?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Umm, right! No it doesn't."

Cabba quickly left Vegeta, the older saiyan having to freshen up due to being unwashed after a session of intense night training in the gravity chamber by himself.

The young saiyan wandered down the halls. If he didn't have the ability to sense chi, then he would have gotten lost on the first day. How did a normal human like Bulma find her way around this place? It was enormous!

Vegeta's wife had received Cabba well, not at all fazed by the presence of another alien in the household. He supposed it was a reasonable enough reaction - she was married to an extraterrestrial after all.

"Ah, Cabba!" Mrs Briefs greeted cheerfully, holding a tray of freshly baked cookies. "Just in time!" She shoved the tray in his face. "Go on dear, try one!"

"Ahh, okay," Cabba said, taking one. It smelled absolutely delicious. The cookie was gone in one bite. "Wow, these are so good!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, you're making me blush," giggled Mrs Briefs. "I must say, you're far more polite than my daughter's husband." She huffed in mock exasperation. "The man wolfs down Big Macs like tic tacs. But you, my dear boy, have class!"

Cabba mumbled his gratitude before slinking away, not wanting to hear Mrs Briefs say anymore bad things about Master Vegeta.

He found himself outside, where Bulma was setting up the decoration with a bunch of robots. She glanced over at Cabba and smiled. "Hi there! I'm guessing Vegeta was finally agreeable for once and cancelled training."

"You could say that," Cabba said. "But I can tell I'm in for some gruelling training tomorrow."

"Definitely!" Bulma eyed his outfit, frowning. "Don't tell me you're going to wear that to the party?"

"H-huh? What's wrong with this?" He looked down at his armor. "Vegeta said it was fine."

"Yeah, well, it isn't. I would take you on an emergency shopping trip but I don't have time right now. But I think I have something that might be your size." She climbed down the ladder she was perched on. "Let me show you..."

Once they had gotten Cabba dressed, he looked at himself in awe in the mirror. "Wow, Bulma! This is great!"

"See! You look so much better in that."

"I guess I do." He beamed at his reflection. "Thanks!"

"You're very welcome. At least one of you saiyans is polite."

When Kale had woken up to see Goku and Caulifla asleep naked in a single futon, she had instantly known something was up. At first, she fretted over Caulifla's previous debauchery coming back into play again but knew that it wasn't the case this time. So she had gone out for a walk. Fishing was an activity she had contemplated but she decided to forgo it in the end.

So why had they slept together? She continued to ponder on it until she found herself back at Grandpa Gohan's home. Hesitantly, she stepped inside, hoping she wouldn't see anything she didn't want to.

Thankfully, both of house's occupants were fully clothed and making breakfast from yesterday's leftovers, if one could call it that. It was a meal that could fill fifty people easily.

"Good morning," Caulifla said to Kale, Goku echoing her greeting as he fried fish. "Where were you?"

"Just went for a walk," Kale said quietly. "I needed to clear my head a bit..."

Caulifla leaned in closer to her, grinning. "Is it about Cabba?"

"W-what?"

"I'm not mad or anything. Cabba's a good guy. If you want to enter a relationship with him, then go for it."

"I don't know..."

"Ah, fine. But you'll tell him soon right?"

"I suppose." Anything to get Caulifla off her back about this!

"Breakfast's done," announced Goku. "Now you're going to eat your words, Cauli." He placed golden fried fish in front of her. "Domestic talent is useful."

Caulifla ate the fish in one bite. "Whatever. Don't get cocky, Old Man." ... This coming from the girl who's fucking him, she thought to herself. Judging from the smug, amused expression on Goku's face, it was safe to assume he was thinking the same thing.

Kale, noticing the looks they were passing each other, cleared her throat. It was quiet but loud enough to break them from their trance.

"Oh, right," Goku said, a bit sheepish. "It's time to eat!"

A/N: I swear, I feel like I'm writing longer and longer chapters as I go on. idk. We'll see.

*Yes his name is Moblit! The exact same name given to Hanji Zoe's assistant in Shingeki no Kyojin! That's just me being 'original'.

Please review! Thanks to all the people who have reviewed so far! When I first started writing I never thought it would get this much attention. The first chapter was literally just me word vomiting to relieve stress. I even put on some Chill radio and ordered room service (yes I was staying at a hotel).

Thanks especially to MLPSTEVENUNIVERSELPS who was first and 50th review. Her one review gave me the drive to continue the story.

Also, did anyone get the TFS reference? I'll be so proud if you did xD