Okay, so, before I ended it with a crappy Voiceover done by Jesse and promised bonus content. But because it soared through the roof with views and I couldn't keep up, I've decided to remove the voice over ending and end it properly later on (won't say where for those who come later and didn't see it. Don't wanna ruin the surprise.)
Also wanted to tell that after the last chapter of R&T, when I'm closer to being done with WP (Winter Peony, a Hanzo x OC fic for any of my readers who ain't seen it yet.) I will be posting a companion book in honor of the bonus content called 'Through Her Eyes'. I've already started writing on it, and I"m excited to get it to you all, but until R&T is properly finished I won't be uploading anything for it so I won't confuse anyone or ruin any surprises. Hope you all can forgive me for trying to cut the leg off the story, and will see it through to its proper end and possibly stick around for more!
"What's all that?" Rosa asked as Jesse followed her back to the room.
"Uh," Jesse laughed, trying to think of the appropriate phrasing. "My inheritance, I guess you could say…" She cocked a brow, and Jesse pointed to the bed, showing her what the bag held inside, slowly she sank onto the bed until she was sitting, and Jesse joined her. When she asked what had happened, he spent some time filling her in on what Santana had told her, minus the dream about his future daughter with her. When he was done, all Sarah could do was blink and stare at the wall. "Hon?"
"Something doesn't feel right." She mumbled, her brow furrowing slowly. She reached out for Jesse's hand, and he gripped it, surprised at how tightly she squeezed.
"I feel it too," Jesse told her, pulling her gently, so they laid on the bed together wrapped up in one another's arms. "Might just be the dust settling…we've had a pretty eventful last couple hours n all." Sarah's head bobbed in agreement, her head laying over Jesse's heart.
"That's true…but…" She laid for a few moments silently when a grumble from Jesse's stomach made her laugh, "Maybe we'll feel a little better once we get some grub."
"I don't feel much like cookin'." Jesse laughed, another growl much louder than the first roared from his stomach, making him groan. "Oh, didn't realize just how hungry I was! I could eat a whole cow on my own!"
"Take out it is then." Sarah laughed and stretched up, pecking Jesse's lips softly before getting to her feet. "I'm gonna shower, think about what you want, I'm down for whatever." She slid off the bed and walked to the bathroom door, stopping inside the frame to smile, "Or, if you want," Jesse lifted himself off the bed with a happy grin, "You could shower with me, and we could talk it over together." Jesse shot up out of bed, but as he started toward the door, he looked over his shoulder and thought better.
"Wait, I better go see what San wants ta eat," He walked over to the bathroom and gave her a long deep kiss. As he pulled away, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, swaying as they talked, "I know we were apart for a long time, and gotta lot to catch up on," he chuckled as she smiled up at him. "But we ain't got nothin' to tear us apart again, so some time to rest is prolly a good thing…ain't the stallion I used to be."
"That your way of saying you're getting old?" Sarah laughed as he mocked her with a sneer and kissed her cheek.
"I'll go see what San wants if you're still in when I come back I'll join ya." He reached down with his right hand and slapped her as she started to walk away, making her jump and spin around with a warning of 'hey!'. He winked and left the room, closing the door behind him, he looked out over the hotel silently for a moment without moving from in front of the door. Everything seemed dusty and run down, but he could see it being restored. Mentally as he walked over to the railing and leaned on it, he started making a checklist of things that would need to be done.
Def needs to be cleaned, that'll take a while. Fresh paint on tha outside, electric'll have to be turned back on to a lot'a'it…Need some workers, can start off with just me but won't be long and I'll be overrun…
He walked down the walkway, eyes flowing over everything, memories of how it used to look like a teen coming back and restoring the color.
Insides will need updatin' some…maybe new mattresses for the rooms, paint…
When he reached the end of the building, he leaned on the railing and looked out toward the field. The sun was setting now, the sky tinting pink and red, a soft breath of wind blew over the field and rustled the tall grass, wildflowers dancing before going still again.
We could do it.
Just a small voice, but there and fierce, Jesse felt his heart swell and threatened to burst with emotion. The voice repeated itself.
We could do it. We could fix this place up.
He looked over toward the old dining area, in his mind the light of twilight faded away but the soft glow of candlelight and the hum of music drifted up to him through the mumbles of conversation. The tables cleaned themselves and seats were occupied by ghosts, Jesse smiled as a young boy stood beside a table, leaning on it heavily as he spoke to a young woman.
We could have a life here.
Jesse closed his eyes and felt a strange feeling wash over him, a sense of root taking place. He thought he could make everything work, he needed it to work.
It will work.
Jesse smacked the rail with his hands, ready to set things into motion, but first, he needed to thank Santana again. Jesse walked back to the room and knocked gently on the door, he didn't want to frighten him.
"San?" Jesse called, pressing his ear to the door. "It's me, Jesse." He waited a few more moments, but no call came. No cursing, no sound of things falling. "Huh, must'a' been tired." Jesse gently turned the knob and peeked inside, worried that the older man would strike him with the bat. It wouldn't have been the first time.
Santana was still in his bed, tucked in the way Jesse had left him, Jesse smiled and stepped inside. Taking care to be quiet, Jesse shut the door and crossed the room before sitting beside Santana's bed in the chair from the desk.
"San?" Jesse asked, reaching over and taking the guitar from the wall. "Hey," Jesse strummed idly, "San?" The elderly man didn't move and something registered as wrong for Jesse's mind, but he couldn't place it. Then that voice whispered in his ear, a cold sound that sent shivers through him.
The sheets aren't moving.
Jesse jumped from the seat, "SAN!" He laid the guitar down on the desk and rushed to the bedside, taking Santana's hand in his, but it laid there, limp. "Santana!" Jesse shook his shoulder gently, his eyes stinging and his throat tightening to the point he couldn't breathe other than short, harsh bursts as he felt for a pulse on Santana's neck and felt nothing.
"No," Jesse begged, shaking his head, "No," Jesse sank to his knees, leaning on the bed and looking up into Santana's peaceful smile, "San…." Jesse felt a sob wrack him and tears welled up in his eyes. "Damn it all San…" He closed his eyes and felt the large tears roll down his cheeks, chilling him as he buried his face in his hands and sobbed into the bed. "You got the worst timin' ol man!" Jesse cried, reaching and feeling Santana's hand where Jesse had laid it, gripping it tightly as if it held the last line for Jesse's connection to him.
He wanted to beg him to come back, he wanted to ask why, if he knew that he was going to leave when he did. But Jesse couldn't find words, only sobs, and tears, hurt and endless questions. Then he found words, the only ones he felt mattered at that moment, that needed to be said.
"I love you, Santana." Jesse croaked, standing and pressing a kiss to the elder man's head, "You raised me for the first part ah my life that I care to remember…you took me in…you taught me right from wrong, and for too damn long I let you down…dunno if you know it or not, but I did…I'm done with tha' now…" Jesse pressed his head to Santana's and felt the tears fall free from his chin as he continued to cry, his voice hoarse from the strain of crying.
"I'm done lettin' you down, I'm be someone you can be proud ah…" He had to lock his legs to keep from falling back down as he leaned back and looked over the first man who had been a father to him, the eerie stillness and peace that came with release. "I'ma do as you asked me to. I'll fix the place up and the house…I won't bounty hunt no more, but I'll try and make up for all the bad I done in my life, got a lot I regret, wanna make up for it."
He kneeled back down beside the bed, feeling his energy being sapped away. "Might be a bit selfish ah me, but.. I hope you watch over me n Rosa n everybody…" He wrapped his head in his hands, feeling helpless and lost, like a child without their guide. "I just wasn't ready yet. Wasn't ready to let you go. Thought you'd be around so much longer…You kept tellin' me you were goin' and I never listened…I…"
"Jesse?" Sarah's voice was just a whisper, but it startled Jesse into looking up from the bed, red eyes wide to see her peeking in the door with a hand covering her mouth as she looked at the bed. "Is he?"
"He's gone." Jesse's voice croaked, a new wave of tears washing over him as his fresh wound opened again, the feeling of reality settling back in around him. Jesse lowered his face to the bed again, trying hard not to break down entirely until he felt Sarah embrace him, turning him away from the bed to pull him close. He came unhinged, sobbing hard and squeezing Sarah to him so hard he nearly missed her sniffles and sobs.
The sun was beginning to set over the tree line, Jesse looked at the freshly made grave and sighed heavily. Ami and her children had turned up, Genji and Hanzo managed to get away from Overwatch long enough to pay respects and as ever Sarah was by his side as they laid Santana to rest on a small corner of the hotel's field. Jesse had dressed nicely in dark denim jeans and a button up black shirt, Sarah was dressed in black dress pants and a soft pink shirt as she held his hand tightly.
Jesse had picked out the headstone, had it engraved with Santana's full name, birth and death date and an inscription that read 'Father, Grandfather, Friend, 'Play for me again my Son.'' There was an inset photo of Santana just before he had come down ill his last time, and at first, Jesse couldn't bear to look at it. Now, as the appropriate time was withering away for the service, Jesse felt he couldn't look away. To look elsewhere was to admit the truth, to begin the healing that came with time and life and duty.
"Tosh," Jesse said as Ami stroked Clover's hair gently, her other hand on her tallest sons head.
"Yessir?" Tosh asked, his nose a little sniffly from crying earlier.
"Do me favor boy?" Jesse asked, eyeing the photo on the tombstone.
"Yessir."
"Go to the hotel, San's room got the door open…bring me few things…take others if you gotta…" He took in a deep breath, "The foldin' chair by the door, the bottle a Weller in the safe, its unlocked, two glasses he k…kept…in there too…and the guitar if you don't mind son." Jesse didn't turn to look to see if he had gotten it all or if anyone was going with him, but he heard the sets of retreating footsteps, and Sarah's soft voice.
"Babe?"
"Hm?" Jesse blinked, his eyes leaving the photo to look at Sarah as she rubbed Jesse's shoulder, "Talk to me, please," She pleaded softly. Jesse had been making small talk for the most part, but she knew his heart wasn't in it. His mind and his heart numb from the shock of the loss.
"I'm alrigh'," Jesse pat her hand before kissing it gently, pulling her in for a loose hug. "When I'd be gone for a while…" He swallowed hard. "When I thought I migh' not come back and I had time…I'd play for him. You know…give 'im one last good memory 'ah me when he could remember?" Jesse tried to smile, but it seemed like a grimace. "Thought it'd be nice to…pour him one last drink and play him a song…fore I…."
"I think he'd like that." Sarah smiled gently up at him before standing tiptoe and kissing his cheek just above his beard softly. "We can stay if you want, or if you'd rather, we could go—you did know him best of all, and you were so close…"
"Naw," Jesse shook his head, looking back at the tombstone, "Stay, he loved singing 'long with the kids. If'n they want or can, they can join in…" He shook his head, "Should'a, would'a, could'a." He chuckled sadly and sighed, "If I'd known how San was gonna go…If I'd listened to what he was tellin' me? I'd played for him every time I laid eyes on him. No fuss, no arguing, no bickerin'…" Jesse turned his head away and kissed Rosa's head as he heard voices come closer. "I would'a done a lotta things differen' if I'd only known…His ghost gonna haunt me most ah all I think…"
"Here Uncle Jesse," Tosh said softly, holding out the guitar as Poe unfolded the chair and Pep held up the two glasses in one hand, and the drink in the other.
"Thank ya kids," Jesse smiled and took the guitar, grabbing the seat and going to sit beside the tombstone, waving Pep over and telling her how to pour a glass for each. When there was about forth of a drink in each, Jesse told her to put the bottle in the center of the tombstone, nestled in the dirt sitting up. Jesse sat both glasses on top of the headstones flat surface before adjusting the guitar in his lap, strumming before tuning until he was satisfied he thought of a song to play.
"Sometimes, it was hard to tell with you," Jesse said somewhat loudly, making sure he was heard over the tune he played, "If you were more Grandad or Dad…but it don't rightly matter what you were called I reckon…" He replaced his fingers and strummed again, "You were always family to me. You always had this…weird way ah knowin' things, Santana. Always."
He chuckled a little at the memory of 'the look' Jesse used to catch from him when he was caught in a lie. "You knew when I's lyin'…you knew when I needed help…you knew how to talk to me to get me ta listen….and beat some sense into me when I's to dumb to do so…" This made the small collection of people chuckle. "Ya'll have'ta' excuse me, ain't soundin' my best but…Santana always liked for me to play for him…" Jesse relaxed a little in the chair. "Wanna play for him again."
"What song you gonna play Uncle Jesse?" Pep asked as she sat down on the ground next to the headstone, her long black skirt tucked under her modestly. Tosh, Clover, Poe, and Ami all went and stood around her, some sitting and some standing. Sarah walked up behind Jesse and rubbed his shoulders as he thought silently for a bit before a song came to mind and he adjusted his fingers on the neck.
"I won't keep us long…it's gonna rain tonight." Jesse said softly, making the teenagers glance at one another as Ami and Sarah exchanged looks. "Best we all get inside 'fore it starts."
"How can you tell?" Poe asked as he slowly sank to the ground.
"Few ways…" Jesse smiled, "First off, listen." Jesse put his strumming hand to his ear, the sound of frogs in the distance made the kids sit up at attention, the sound had been drowned out by crying and shuffling before. "Smell it in the air," Jesse smiled as he caught Tosh and Pep taking deep breaths to test the theory, "Smell them wildflowers? That damp moisture?" Jesse gently nodded with his chin back toward the open field where they grew naturally. "Santana always told me that nature'll tell you when things are changin'…you just gotta look for the signs." He put his hands back on the guitar and began strumming slowly.
"You believe all that?" Clover asked with a smile, "Why?"
"If you don't get in the water you're never gonna learn to swim," Jesse looked down at his metal hand as it worked the neck, "He said a snake is just as scared of you as you are of him," He smiled as Pep and Poe huddled together, eyes wide as they searched the cut grass around them in fear. "He could tell by the moon when the fish would bite…Seems there was nothing that he didn't know…." Jesse looked up at Sarah as she gave his shoulders a squeeze and kissed his head softly. "And as a kid, I believed 'cause Grandpa told me so…" He strummed silently for a moment, Sarah walked around the grave to hug Ami as Jesse continued to play. "He talked Daddy into letting me have my first car…" He looked over to Genji and Hanzo who were standing a few steps away from the foot of the grave. They had been standing there silently, dressed in black suits with their heads bowed. Genji chuckled sadly, and Hanzo cocked a brow in confusion. "I thought I was really something 'til Becky Thompson broke my heart…" This made Tosh smile and lean against a nearby tree as Ami and Sarah shook their heads. "That first taste of love really did me in, getting over her slow…" Jesse's eyes flowed from kid to kid, taking in their face before he smiled at the picture of Santana, "And I knew someday I would 'cause Grandpa told me so…"
"He said life is made for you to live," Jesse looked back down at the guitar as he played, not trusting his eyes not to betray him and make him cry. Singing out as best he could, with the strength and love he felt in his heart for his lost loved one, to embody the feeling that Sanatana's memory held. "The best love is the love that you give. There'll be times when you want to hold on, but you gotta let go…" He felt his throat get tight and he winced, dropping his head lower, his voice straining. "And I live by those words 'cause Grandpa told me so…"
He couldn't trust himself to sing the next part without breaking down, yet try as he did, he couldn't stop the tears welling up in his eyes as his mind went back to finding him in his room. "I promised him I wouldn't cry when it was his time to leave," The first tear escaped as Jesse looked up and soon countless others followed, but he shook his head and kept singing. "That's the only promise I made him I couldn't keep…He smiled from his bed and said we'll meet again…Somewhere down the road…" Jesse rubbed his face as best he could on his shoulder as he played, wanting to finish the song out without stopping. Afraid he couldn't bear to finish if he stopped.
"And I believe 'cause Grandpa told me so…" He took in a breath and was surprised, but happy as the kids began singing along softly. Clover was first, then Tosh, Pep and Poe together, Maple, then Jubie.
When Clover started off, Ami reached out and touched her shoulder, starting to shake her head when Jesse shook his own head and nodded to Clover to continue, his heart pained but happy. He knew Santana would love to hear them too. He'd only known them a short while, but it was as if his life had blossomed like a flower, gaining new light and meaning with new family. "He said life is made for you to live…The best love is the love that you give…There'll be times when you want to hold on, but you gotta let go…And I live by those words 'cause Grandpa told me so,"
By the time the verse came around again, everyone with the exception of Hanzo was singing softly along or speaking the lines. A testament to Santana's memory. "He said life is made for you to live…The best love is the love that you give…There'll be times when you want to hold on but you gotta let go…And I live by those words 'cause Grandpa told me so…"
Long after the melody faded away into silence, people began leaving the gravesite. Hanzo and Genji first, after words to Jesse and hugs or handshakes had been given. They spoke for a while, off to themselves before the two brothers left. When Jesse returned to the group, Ami and her children each gave Jesse a long hug, a shared memory or thought before asking if there was anything they could do. Jesse only asked that they come back to visit soon, and write him every so often. Something he wished he'd done for Santana.
"Learnt the hard way," He said to Ami as Tosh, Poe and Pep packed the chair, glass and guitar back through the field to the hotel. "Family is the most important thing in everyone's life…even someone like mine…when I had none to start off with…I might not ah been adopted legally, but…I had a family…" He looked over the field as he spoke. "Lost my mother, my father, my uncle…only just now got my brother back…haven't spoke to my sister 'n years….now my grandad's…" He shook his head, pressing his dry lips together. "I'm done loosin' people." He looked up and smiled as tears glossed over Ami's brown eyes. She wiped them away quickly and tried to remain calm. "You n' your crew migh' as well be family too Ami. Niece's and Nephews…" He held out his arms and wrapped her up in a hug as she gave a huff in pretend anger. "I don't wanna loose ya'll too."
"Trust me cowboy," She pat his cheek as he let her go, Sarah wiping her face as tears ran down her cheeks. "You can't loose this crew." Ami pinched one of his cheeks. "We're going to head on back to the rooms, is there anything you two need?" Jesse shook his head and Sarah mirrored him.
"Nah, but," He took Sarah's hand, "Darlin' I wanna talk to you before we head on back, if that's alrigh'?" He watched as she nodded and said her goodbyes to Ami quickly. When Ami's and the girls' were nearly at the hotel Jesse walked back to the grave and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Thief?" Sarah asked as she came to stand beside him. "What did you wanna talk about?"
"I dunno what," Jesse started and then heard the tone in his voice and cleared his throat. He didn't want it to sound the way it did. "I'm not sure what you had planned…for you know…" He bobbed his head from side to side. "Later…I know we ain't really…talked much about…what comes next." She made a noise to let him know she was listening, her eyes lowered to her shoes. "But…" He turned to her and put his hands on her shoulders, making her look up at him. "Rosa I can't lose you again…not after all these years…" His eyes searched her green ones, pink and a little puffy from crying. "If it's selfish to ask then…" He laughed nervously, "Then feel free ta tell me but…I want ya to stay." He ran his hands down her arms and cupped her hands in his, pulling her closer. "I want ya to stay with me…here.." Jesse nodded up to the hotel. He could see the shock in her eyes, the way her mouth opened just slightly in a small sharp breath and he spoke more quickly, afraid she would give an answer before he was finished.
"Not here, here…but with me at the house." Jesse squeezed her hands gently, "It ain't a palace or nothin' and I won't sugar coat it, there's a lotta hard work ahead but…I plan on fixin' the hotel up…make it like when we were youngins and run it for a proper job…" He looked down at her hands as he rubbed them softly, "I'ma stop bounty huntin', like Santana asked…but…" He laughed a hard, sharp bark of nervousness. "I told Genji and Hanzo…I'd help out when they needed me, cause…well…I did a lotta wrongs and no amount a southern hospitality is gonna make up for it…"
"Thief," Sarah started to speak but panic caused Jesse to talk over her.
"I'll do my best to provide for ya, and we can make it a home, but…"
"Thief…"
"I guess what I'm tryin' to say is—"
"Jesse!" Sarah snapped, pulling him out of thought, his mouth clamping shut quickly with a clack of teeth. She smiled up at him pitifully before shaking her head slowly.
"Ah…" Jesse felt his heart stutter in his chest, and felt his knees weaken. "I ah…"
"Have to stop interrupting me when I'm not finished." Sarah smacked him lightly on the chest before pulling him down to her height and pressing a deep, thoughtful kiss to his lips. When she let him go, he blinked at her, lost. "I never planed on leaving Thief…" She took his metal hand in hers and smiled. "You know that kinda love that you can't quite explain?" She asked, referencing a conversation they had before, making him smile. "It's the kinda love you don't really need to have an explanation or a plan for…it just simply is?"
"Like it's always been there." Jesse nodded and took her other hand in his, leaning down and pressing his forehead to hers.
"And it'll never change."