Greetings Earthlings! So this chapter picks up again with Bonnie and Damon shortly after Stefan left them at her house. The fever is getting to Damon. Can he control his emotions?
Bonnie refused to believe her luck was this bad.
Out of all the people who could have found out about Damon's injury, people who can actually tolerate him, she had to be the one to shoulder the burden of discovery. And not only that, she has to keep it a secret or else, in Damon's own words, he'll eat her.
Now, of course Damon's threat means nothing to her, he can barely sit up straight, but, she agrees with him so she lets his idle threats fly this time.
This should stay between them. There's already too much piled on one plate with Elena going missing, Jeremy being in the wind, and Klaus' entire existence is just a whole shit show in itself. Adding Damon's impending death on top just feels like overhaul. Especially since the others most likely wouldn't be able to offer any kind of solution that would helpthe situation anyway.
Everything in Mystic Falls derives from magic in one way or another so, either way, this would be solely on her hands. But what else is new, right?
If she's being honest with herself, which she usually tries to be on most days, Damon deserves this. Everything from the agonizing pain to the haunting memories the fever is bound to dredge up, to his slow decline into nonexistence.
He's done enough damage to the world and to the people of this town, hell, for the things he's done to her alone, he deserves this a hundred times over.
One thing she's realized about Damon is that he's selfish. Down to his very core, Damon is always out for himself.
Even when he thinks he's doing a good deed, there is always a selfish reason behind it.
The only reason he went out and saved Tyler and Caroline in the first place is because he fed Elena his blood and he knew she'd hate him forever if she'd died and woken up a vampire. So, he saved them to stall Klaus' plan.
It had nothing to do with the fact that Caroline and Tyler are good and wouldn't have deserved to die like that.
He just didn't want to ruin his shot at possibly winning Elena over and stealing her from Stefan.
Selfish.
So yeah, he got what he deserved.
And even with all that said and at the risk of sounding like a complete and total hypocrite, she thinks Damon is a necessary evil. A wild card to balance things out. In a group full of do-gooders, they all need someone who isn't afraid to be the bad guy. And Damon most definitely takes pride in doing so. Relishes in it, even.
He does go overboard at times. Well, most of the time, but when it comes down to it and push comes to shove, Damon will get the job done, no matter what.
And if history is anything to go on, without Damon around to offset the pride and egos, it's either going to be Elena's need to make everybody happy or Stefan's fear of becoming a Ripper if he pushes himself too far that will get them all killed inside a year.
So she's going to make sure Damon does live. For her sake and for her towns sake.
Call it selfish. She deserves a little self-serving at this point.
She's curled up on the armchair next to the window in the living room paging through her 2nd grimoire trying to piece together anything that would help them reverse this.
Damon is stretched out on the sofa across from her, passed out again, finally.
She was this close to killing him herself so she wouldn't have to listen as he went back and forth between moaning and whining to telling her how she's wasting her time searching for a cure that doesn't exist.
Sadly, his theory has been proven right so far. She hasn't found anything remotely close to something describing the effects of a werewolf bite on a vampire or how to reverse it.
But she refuses to believe it's not out there.
When it comes to magic and witchcraft, the most absolute rule is that there must be a balance.
No immortal being is ever truly immortal, every spell has a reversal spell to match, every ailment has a cure.
There is no rule that says any of those things will be easy to find though, unfortunately.
From what Damon explained to her, he has another day, tops, before the venom takes him out so she figures if she stays calm, uses her brain, and Damon stays quiet, she can figure this out before then.
But leave it to Damon to always rain on her parade, even when he's unconscious. His picks that exact moment to start coughing violently from the other side of the room and her concentration is broken just like that.
Jesus, she's really tempted to drive him to the Boarding House and lock him in their cellar until she finds the cure.
"Blooood, Bonnie. I need blood."
He's still coughing between words and he's drenched in sweat. He pulled his overshirt off a long time ago so he's left in his black tank top and jeans, open at the waist because she wouldn't let him remove them completely.
No way was he about to be laying on her couch, sweaty and half naked. Just. No.
The white ace bandage she'd wrapped around his wound earlier is now stained with his blood and black ooze. She's gonna have to change it soon.
"Bonnie..."
His voice is all pitiful and whiney and she plans to never let him live this day down if he survives it.
"I hear you, you big baby. I'm going."
She slams the book in her lap shut and puts it on the side table next to her, stands and takes her time stretching before heading out of the room.
"I imagined a more pleasant bedside manner from you, Bon. I'm slightly disappointed."
She rolls her eyes as she walks past him. "What can I say, Damon? You bring out the Hyde to my Jekyll."
He scoffs but it turns into a violent coughing fit and she covers her mouth to hide her laugh as she makes her way to the kitchen.
Caroline always leaves a few spare blood bags at her house for emergencies so she grabs one from the small lunch box in the back of the refrigerator and pours it into a coffee mug
Caroline usually warms it in the microwave and she wonders if all vampires like it that way. She shrugs and puts the mug in the microwave on 30 seconds just to be safe.
She chews on her thumb nail while she waits and she thinks how screwed up her life has become that she's not even remotely phased by the fact that she's warming up human blood in her microwave for the sick vampire on her couch.
The ding of the microwave breaks her out of her thoughts. She grabs the mug and heads back to the living room.
Damon's passed out again and she wants to just let him sleep but thinks better of it. She'd rather not deal with a sick and hungry Damon Salvatore.
She inches toward him; her heartbeat accelerates and she feels a dull ache low in her gut. She always feels slightly off balance when she gets in too close a proximity to him.
It's like she's sneaking up on a lion.
His hair is dark and wet and violently tousled because he can't keep his hands out of it. The constant crease between his eyebrows has smoothed out and she can see his eyes moving rapidly under the delicate skin of his eyelids. His face is pale, looks smooth to the touch, almost like porcelain, save for his cheeks which are tinted bright red. His lips are parted slightly and she can hear his breath, low and even. She can feel the heat radiating off him and she as to fight down a wave of panic because a vampire definitely shouldn't be throwing off heatwaves.
"Damon?" She whispers and he flinches but doesn't wake.
"Hey, Damon…I got the blood you cried for" she says a bit louder.
He still doesn't move.
She sets the cup on the coffee table beside her and reaches for him, lightly tapping his shoulder.
"Damon."
His eyes shoot open, the brilliant blue shocks her and she gasps, frozen to the spot.
The hand of his uninjured arm shoots out so fast that she doesn't even track it. Doesn't even notice it until she feels it tightening almost to the point of pain around her wrist.
"Damon…Damon. You're hurting me, let go." She grits through her teeth.
His eyes are cold and burning into her own and she doesn't even think he hears her until his grip begins to loosen, but he makes sure she stays put.
His eyes soften as he scans her face.
"Katherine?"
Her stomach bottoms out and her heart follows closely behind. She thought she had a few more hours before the hallucinations were supposed to kick in.
And why did it have to be a Katherine memory? She's only heard the bad memories of Katherine. Did Damon even have good memories of her? He must have if he spent 150 years pining over her, right?
"No. Damon, not Katherine. It's Bonnie. You hearing me?"
He's staring at her, eyes still soft and cloudy and the fact that his thumb is now rubbing in slow circles on the inside of her wrist where he's still got his fingers tightly wrapped lets her know that, no, he most definitely is not hearing her.
She feels a tiny shiver tickle down her spine and tries to pull her arm free of his grasp.
His fingers tighten again, a small warning, and she freezes. He's basically on his deathbed but still so strong.
She watches as his eyes drop to her lips and he licks his own before he meets her eyes again. The walls inside her mind are falling and crumbling to dust. What is happening?
He lets out a low, pained growl and his face crumples.
"Katherine, please." He whispers. "Please tell me what I did wrong. Why am I not good enough for you? What does Stefan have that I do not? Please Katherine, will you not speak?"
He's searching her eyes, desperation and pain and icy flames shine in his own.
She can hear her heartbeat hammering in her ears and her whole body is trembling, mouth hanging open. She's honestly speechless. She feels like she's eves dropping or reading Damon's diary and she can't make it stop.
"I love you like I've never loved another." He continues. "And I swear, if you give me half the chance, I will spend my life making all of your wildest wishes my every command."
She's shaking her head slowly. Willing this whole thing to just stop, reverse, go away.
"Damon..." she tries but the sound that is released from her throat is a mere parody of what her voice used to be.
He tugs down on her wrist until she has no choice but to comply and drops down to a crouch and when they're face to face he leans forward and cups her cheek gently with the palm of his hand.
She tenses, strictly by force of habit because this is Damon. Her mind has been trained to brace for violence whenever he's around.
Which is why right now her brain is firing off every signal it has available, trying desperately to figure out how the hell to respond to this version of Damon.
Her head is starting to swim and she realizes she's not breathing. She exhales and the air fumbles out of her like bricks of a building being torn down.
He's handling her gently and delicately. Brushing his fingertips across the skin of her cheeks and then trailing down the side of her neck and up into the hair at the back of her head.
He's looking at her like she's all he sees, all he ever wants to see.
Now, in her mind she knows he's not seeing her right now. She knows this. He thinks he's talking to Katherine.
But apparently her body doesn't know these things because she's on fire.. Everywhere his fingers have touched is tingling like livewire. She can't seem to catch her breath and she has to bite her lip on a moan when he tightens his grip on the hair at the back of her neck to tilt her head, forcing her to meet his eyes once more.
In her defense, it has been way too long since she's been touched like this, seen like this, so the fact that she can't get her body to agree with her brain that this is all an illusion can't be held against her.
"You are so beautiful." He whispers. And she can't fight the shiver that shakes her from her head down to the tips of her toes.
She really needs to stop this before it goes too far. Well, it's already gone too far but she should stop it before actions can't be undone.
She grips the front of his shirt between shaky fingers and tugs on it a bit.
"Damon!"
And thank God her voice decided to make a comeback.
"Listen to me. You have to snap out of this now, okay? I'm not Katherine. I'm Bonnie."
His eyes are trained on her throat where his thumb is tracing a slow, agonizing line up and down her carotid artery and she's about to lose it.
She tightens her hold on his shirt and shakes.
"Damon..please." And her voice still sounds strong, but with a hint of desperation to follow.
His eyes finally snap back to hers and he's still holding on to her but his head is tilted and he's studying her closely like he's trying to remember where he knows her from.
She waits patiently while he puts the pieces together and she can see the clouds slowly clearing from his eyes like he's waking from a dream.
His eyes go wide and he finally releases her from his grip and she's able to stand and blessedly, thankfully put much needed space between them.
"Bonnie?"
She exhales heavily and nods. "Yes. Bonnie."
Jesus.
He drops his head back to the couch and shoves his fingers up into his hair, closing his eyes.
"You with me?" She asks quietly.
He licks his lips and his breath is coming out in shudders. "Yeah. That was just…"
When he opens his eyes to look at her, his gaze has gone distant again but she can tell he's just replaying the whole scene in his head again.
"That was too weird." He sits up then, and swings his legs off the couch and onto the floor. "I was so sure I was there." He looks up at Bonnie. "You were Katherine."
This thing is a lot stronger than she'd imagined. It's like he had been removed from all reality and it was almost like she wouldn't be able to bring him back. She was afraid to find out how the rest of the day would play out. She needs to find the cure. Fast.
She prays he doesn't drive them both insane before then.
"I know, Damon, but, that's what this thing does to you. It eats away at you physically and mentally. Dredging up your deepest darkest memories and bombarding you with them until you either want to kill or be killed."
She has to take a seat on the edge of the coffee table across from him. Her legs are jelly and her heart is still trying to jump out of her chest.
"I just need you to find a way to fight through this a little while longer, okay? I know there's a cure out there."
He's got that curious look on his face again and she feels that little flutter in her stomach grow into a sour burn.
"Your heart. It's wild right now." He says and his eyes drop to her chest, his Adams Apple bobs as he swallows, and she sees a flash of veins under his eyes before they disappear so quickly that she almost thinks she imagines them.
Hunger.
"Oh…here." She grabs the mug and holds it out for him. "It's probably cold by now but it's your fault for freaking out on me." She says on a nervous chuckle.
Their energy is all foreign and twisted now and she'd give anything to have some snarky back and forth banter right now,like old times.
He takes the cup from her hand an he puts it to his lips and drinks it down greedily before replacing the cup on the table and leaning back against the couch cushions.
"You gonna be okay for now?" She asks.
He licks a stray red drop from the corner of his lip and nods but stays quiet. He's staring at her again, eyes calculating.
"What is it?" And she's trying not to fidget. He's so intense. .
"Why are you even bothering?" He finally asks.
So he's going back to this again. "Damon…"
"No. Really." He cuts her off. "This is not a sarcasm thing. I'm not being a dick. I really want to know."
His eyes are sincere.
"I mean, come on, Bon. Clearly we haven't been the best of friends, right? So why are you trying so hard to save me? You're the only one who knows about this. Why not just leave me somewhere to rot and die?"
She's seriously considered that option over the past few hours and she's almost acted on it a handful of times but it just didn't feel right.
"Honestly. It's crossed my mind."
"Naturally." He smiles.
"But Elena is my best friend and Stefan is a good guy. It would kill them if you were gone. And I guess my conscience won't let me."
He turns her words over in his head quietly.
"Bonnie Bennett. The self sacrificing little lamb. So. You're doing this for them? That's all?"
"Well. For them and for the fact that you'd be getting off easy. You deserve a little more torture before I burn you to dust."
"There's the Bonnie, I know."
And just like that, things are almost normal between them.
"So, you find your miracle cure while I was out?"
She stands and returns to sit in her chair, grabbing her grimiore and hugging it to her chest.
"Not yet. But I've been thinking. Ric is the one who new about all this lycanthropy stuff in the first place. I think he's our best bet. I'm gonna head over and pilfer through some of his books."
"Well have at it, young optimist. I'll hang here in case Stefan shows up."
"Yeah there is no way I'm leaving you here alone. Plus, Stefan called why you were asleep. Sheriff Forbes found a lead on Jeremy. He and Caroline are headed that way now so we've got some time."
She stands and gathers up her notes and her keys. "Come on, Salvatore. Get dressed and meet me in the car.
He studies her quietly but complies.