Chapter Four

Riley's eyes fluttered open when she felt something tickle her side; the sensation moving up to her face, dragging over her cheek. For a moment, she wondered if it was her dog, but knew it certainly couldn't be. No, her dog slathered up the side of her face to wake her up before he jumped his hulking 160lb frame onto her to wake her up.

No, this was different.

The sensation of something hovering over her was different. It wasn't the friendly presence of her companion for years, but of a person. She found that to be more horrific than any of the monster breath that could wash over her, but of a presence she didn't know was friend or foe. Her fight or flight instincts kicked in within a nano-second of her state of being; between asleep and awake. The horrific feeling she'd thought she'd gotten over years before.

Her heart raced, blood roared in her ears, adrenaline rushed through her body so fast that her muscles spasmed, tensing from head to toe, priming each muscle. Ready to launch herself out of bed and either attack what was coming her way or run as fast as possible. Her fingers curled into the fabric of whatever was below her, aching her muscles with how hard she gripped, still trying to decide.

Within seconds, multiple thoughts raced through her mind; what was that? What was that sound? Was it dangerous? What's standing over me? What's touching me? Do I have enough time to run? Can I take it down?

Am I in danger?

It took another few seconds for her to realize, with a warm wave of relief, that she wasn't in any danger. Had she been, a kick to the ribs, a slicing crack on the side of the head, a wallop to her back wouldn't have taken too long. She would've been struck even seconds before she could make up her mind about what was going on.

She didn't have someone towering over her, waiting to smack her upside the head to wake her up. Didn't have someone waiting to wrap their hands around her neck, ready to scream in her face for any slight embarrassment or defiance she may or may not have shown within the last few hours. She didn't have anyone ready to lift their foot and stomp on her ribs and stomach barking orders at her to clean the house. She didn't have someone ready to dump her out of bed, yank her head back, and smack her so hard in the face that blood pooled from her nostrils to around her mouth and drip off her chin as she looked at him defiantly, silently asking for more so that her brothers and sister didn't suffer from it instead.

She wasn't in any danger…she wasn't still on the plane listening as Patrick snored loudly next to her and Noah and Sydney laughed quietly while drawing on his face, she wasn't in a random hotel room somewhere around the world trying to figure out what they could get in room service before Ronan noticed the large bill, she wasn't lying on the floor of the green room, stretching before going on stage

She was…lying on a couch?

Riley's eyebrows furrowed, trying to remember everything that'd happened the night before. It was late when she and her siblings arrived back in New York. Something they hadn't really noticed when getting off the plane. Traveling and going to airports was always fun—if there weren't too many delays or cancellations—but arriving in the newest city when it was dark was the best. The way the lights shone around the streets, the way the nightlife was amplified to make everything even more magical than anyone's imagination could ever conjure.

The way those that were still out at night, still partying and going to their next event were as excited about life as they were to be in a new city. There was always someone to talk to, always someone to find who could recommend them a good place to stop to eat or a sight to see. Always someone who would instantly become your best friend the second a complement of clothing or hairstyle was mentioned.

That was the best part.

Always the best part.

That was what they saw when they got back to New York. Times Square lit up like a Christmas tree, the crowds of people running from store to store, event to event, shouting happily to each other, stopping to take pictures. Greeting those they didn't even know with the enthusiasm that only those who'd known each other for years could muster. New York in the day was a tourist hot spot with people following tours and taking pictures all over the place. New York at night was an entirely different entity; a place where even the weirdest were normal, and there was always something going on. With all its diverse neighborhoods, cultures, and people, New York made sense for them to return to when they weren't in Australia.

And arriving back there the night before, Riley was reminded, again, why she liked New York so much. It reminded her of Sydney. A home away from home. The familiar feeling of a nightlife and excitement that'd have her up for hours in the night. And it had some of her best friends. The moment they landed, her and her siblings' phones blew up with texts and calls from friends and family stationed in New York. They first went to their grandparent's place.

Autumn and Hiroki Himada had lived in New York for much of their adult lives, having given birth to their three daughters—the Jacksons's mother—Renee, her twin sister Kristen, and their younger daughter, Selena, who all grew up in New York before going their separate ways. Renee ended up in Australia, Kristen in Canada, and Selena in Japan.

Due to their life in Australia and constant touring, the Jacksons didn't see their grandparents as much as they would like, though continued to keep them intertwined in their lives in any way possible. Long distance phone calls strictly in Japanese, sending over any food and sweets they received when arriving in Japan, and emailing as many pictures as they could couldn't duplicate their actually being in their presence as much as they'd like.

It was great to see their grandparents again, knowing there was a place in New York ready for them to visit and stay if things got to be too much (as was easy to do within the within the music industry and in the public eye). Their grandmother, an American from the Midwest, doted heavily on her grandchildren, filling them with as much food as she could while ensuring they got as much sleep as a touring schedule would let them. Hiroki, a Japanese man, was a bit quieter than his wife who exuded exuberance and excitement, though wasn't one to shy away from a laugh and a good time. He joined in with the card games they played while eating, getting as competitive and loud as the others as the night went on.

If they showed any lasting disappointment from having lost the ability to take in their grandchildren at the most tumultuous point of their lives, it didn't show. It never did. They continued to protect them in as many ways as they could. And Riley, as always, was disappointed when having to leave her grandparents to continue with their grueling schedule.

Then again, nothing was better than seeing best friends you hadn't seen in a long while. The family you'd never had. They were all used to it; being in bands themselves, knew that they weren't always going to be able to travel with each other, work with each other, open shows with each other, tour for days on end with no company but each other. But had grown so used to the constant presence in each other's lives that, as they grew older and their opportunities for their bands and themselves changed, their time together was simply shared through social media and other forms of technology where they kept in constant communication.

So much so that once they arrived in New York and got back to the house, a welcome home party was waiting for them complete with food, music, and friends that lasted all hours into the night. If there was anything Tom Fletcher, Danny Jones, Dougie Poynter, and Harry Judd were known for, other than their music, it was certainly that they knew how to have a good time. Parties were something the boys had been interested in going to when their fame was mounting, but their managers, Thomas 'Fletch' Fletcher and Jake Hardin were quick to keep them from going to.

"You need to focus on your music," they always said. "Not partying and events."

The Jacksons, on the other hand, had a completely different experience. Since their first foray into fame and celebrity with their band, they did appearances to events and parties time and time again, getting their name out there as much as possible. Or course there were some events they could go to, there were always regulations stuck upon them—they had to have someone from management with them if they were too young. Couldn't be alone with certain people, couldn't talk to others.

Had to be careful of those they associated themselves with—an ironic conversation where they were usually the subjects of the hesitation.

But what both bands—what the large group of friends—could easily agree upon was that nothing was better than having a night to themselves, to hang out and talk and play music and catch up and laugh. To do everything friends did and not have to worry about it being put in the magazines later. Long nights of debauchery that, at points, had ended up as fodder for fans and critics alike to tear to shreds.

The night Tom, Harry, Danny, and Dougie met the queen was one that was remembered fondly—now—though at the time was something Fletch found to be highly embarrassing. All the while Matt's continued drinking and drugs made his times out on the town tabloid fodder that dragged his name through the mud and questioned his sobriety—and life decisions—within seconds. Despite their reputation, the Jacksons hadn't had many moments of scandals falling into the hands of the public.

There were a few parties thrown that got out of control here or there, there were the odd times where their friends' trouble got their names dragged into the mud, and the very few times their antics while on tour managed to become more widespread than they'd thought. But it all managed to be downplayed and swept under the rug with bigger announcements; such as their abuse and tour news.

The time the band spent together negated all of that. It was when they could stop being their celebrity selves and could be their real selves. And so, for hours and hours they did nothing but laugh, eat, and catch up on everything they missed while gone. The Jacksons spoke about their shows, crazy fan stories, and what happened when they accidentally—it really was an accident—crashed a car while working on a music video and McFly told them about the songs they'd been working on and the demos they'd recorded.

When Riley had fallen asleep, she wasn't quite sure. One minute she was listening to Harry talk about a new diet and workout routine he'd found and the next, she was being consumed by the darkness of sleep. A surprisingly heavily sleep for someone who could shoot awake at the drop of a thumbtack to the floor.

Next things he knew, she rolled to her side and found Harry Judd standing over her, an oven mitt in hand. He wiggled it over her face, lightly running the tip over her nose. Riley laughed, relieved that she hadn't followed through with her initial thought to sucker punch him (just in case), and pushed the mitt away.

"I'm awake, Harry," she muttered, a smile forming.

"I don't know how you got to sleep in the first place," Harry replied. "I reckon all that noise would've woken the zombies."

"You don't know anything until you've sat next to Patrick's snoring for hours on end," Riley commented. She drew a hand across her face, making sure to wipe the sleep form her eyes. Then she frowned, realizing how much makeup she still had on her face. Probably made her look like a racoon. "Then again, you also wouldn't know how loud the rest of you lot snore."

"Clearly you weren't the one who was awake this whole time," Harry pointed out. He waved the mitten at her once more. "Everyone lying everywhere snoring their asses off."

Riley opened an eye, looking closely at him. "Yeah, I heard beer can do that to you." She ran a hand through her hair. "How long until breakfast is ready?"

"Few minutes. So, if you want get into the shower before Danny gets in there, I can hold it off a bit longer."

Riley sat up, stretching her arms. She vaguely remembered him talking to some random girl she hadn't met the night before. Not that it was too strange, as soon as a party was mentioned in New York, friends of friends of friends all managed to show up. That was when they had to be the most careful about the people around them.

Chances were, something was going to be put out in the news and all over social media the next day.

"I hope he knows what he's doing," Riley said, pushing herself off the couch. "But thank you for making breakfast." She rolled her eyes. "The only real food you lot'll get."

"You order a few too many pizzas and you're branded for life."

"I still feel sorry for your maid…" Riley lifted her hand and made a gun with her fingers, pointing it at Harry as she passed him heading for the stairs. "And for the fact that you even had a maid."

Harry shrugged. "Blame Fletch, he was the one who thought it was a good idea to put four teenagers into a house together."

"And he and Jake and Robert and Ronan all thought it was a good idea to have all the rest of us live together, too?" Riley shook her head. "What were these guys thinking?"

She and Harry laughed as Riley ran up the stairs to her room. She ran up the winding staircase to the top floor and entered the room she shared with her sister, surprised to find Sydney, and not Rhuben, inside. Let alone on her laptop.

"Hi!" Sydney greeted cheerfully as Riley went into the room. As if nothing was amiss.

"'Hey, Syd," Riley replied.

"Was the couch really that comfortable?"

"Better than the floor of your room," she replied, suddenly remembering where her sister had gone to. She and her siblings had gone back to their room—the largest room in the house—to call Ronan and let him know they'd gotten to the house okay after he'd gone to his own rented apartment. ("I'm not stupid enough to stay overnight there," he'd said when they'd mentioned he'd may as well stay with how late it was). "Why are you on my computer?" She asked, cuffing her baby brother on the back of the head. He barely ducked out of the way, keeping his eyes on the screen. "Or in my room, for that matter."

"Patrick's snoring too loud and I'm doing maintenance on my laptop that's taking forever and I have some things I need to finish," Sydney explained. He frowned, almost pouting when Riley flattened her hand against the lid of her laptop and closed it. He twisted around to watch her flop onto her bed, holding her phone overhead so she could read through her twitter timeline. Nothing too interesting. "And you said your computer was running kind of slow." A grin slowly spread on his face. "Why? Is there something on there you don't want me to see?"

"If there was, don't you think I'd be a little more worried about you being on it?"

"Ehh, maybe not." Sydney shrugged. "Everyone who has something to hide, if they're smart, don't make a big deal about it." He bobbed his head. "Those that act jumpy when they've got something to hide are the ones who can't handle it, yeah? It eats them alive. Psychologically, they can't handle it."

Riley lowered her phone from her face. "You're too smart for your own good, Little Man."

"Story of my life." Sydney grinned and stood up, hearing Harry call from downstairs that it was time for breakfast. "But compared to the rest of you lot, there's not much competition."

Riley reached behind her head and threw her pillow at her brother as he raced from the room. From downstairs, she heard numerous voices and dishes clattering together. More people in one house that most would ever dream of. But anyone else from a large family would understand why it was the best sound.

Silence was discomforting. Silence was horrifying. Silence—and the irony wasn't lost on her—was a scary sound.

So, no matter the amount of times the boys could get on her nerves, how she'd struggle to find time alone, how there were times when she wished she were home, the sounds simply reminded her that she was around her family.

And family, the people who protected her, she realized, was becoming a harder commodity to find to be genuine the longer she stayed in the public eye.

The hardest part was knowing if that family would still be your family the more time you spent apart, knowing there was a lot to catch up on.

Absence made the heart grow fonder, but it was worrying that, with all the things you may have experienced, that things would set you apart, and ultimately leave you behind.

How long do you think it's going to take before you realize that these guys aren't really your friends? Okay, we all know that you dated around for a while. It makes sense. People that work that closely together are bound to get feelings for each other at one point or another. But we've seen what happens when that falls apart.

Brad and Jennifer.

Brad and Angelina.

Ben Aflek and Jennifer Gardner.

Taylor Kinney and Lady Gaga

Those are the ones who had the biggest name recognition for their public breakups. And, I'm sure you know about those that are in those fake relationships just to promote something, those that are together because it's easy for them, those that are together because someone's gay or lesbian and they're trying to hide it, and there are those that appear so perfect on the outside but are rotten and putrid on the inside.

That's what I'm afraid you're getting yourself into.

These guys…well, I can't say I know them personally. But they don't look like they'd be with you in the long run. If they figured out everything you've gone through. And I mean everything. The things that you think no one in life could ever understand. They wouldn't understand.

They haven't gone through things as tough as you have. Their lives were perfect, compared to yours. Yes, their fathers may have left them. But you still went through a lot of pain. A lot of confusion. A lot of figuring out that the world and life isn't as bright as they try to make it seem.

Life is dark.

The world is dark.

You get that.

It's part of your band name. No matter how much you want to change your image—and you successfully do it every year—it's going to be a part of you. That darkness. That understanding of what life has to offer. So, it just makes me ask the question again…do you really know what these guys are like?

Do you know the things they're keeping from you?

Everyone has secrets.

I get that.

But these are secrets that will make them look different in your eyes. They'd betray you. These are secrets not well known to the public. Yes, there's the drinking and the drugs. That's all out in the open. (Honestly, I'm surprised you'd continue to hang with people like that, since you don't do any of that stuff. But you have said that you're a good judge of character, maybe I'm missing something). They couldn't keep something like that quiet for too long.

Things like that always have a way of coming out.

And, I'm afraid, the things that shouldn't come out will, if they're around them. The things that you're afraid of anyone knowing. The things you're afraid of them knowing. The things you'd rather take to your grave. You and your brothers and sister. Now, I'm not saying I know everything that you're trying to keep quiet, but there are ways people figure things out.

Everyone around you doesn't have your best interest at heart.

How do you think the illicit affairs, the drugs, the cheating…all those scandals of the biggest celebrites comes out? Because the wrong people are told, rumors are spread, and it comes out into the light. It's one of the few times that proves that the light doesn't always get its dues.

It's just desserts.

The light can be as damaging as the darkness.

Everything that needs to stay in the darkness should stay there.

Except for the important things. Except for the things that could destroy lives. Friendships. Relationships. Families.

Your secrets couldn't do that. Your secrets are the good secrets.

I just hope when you finally realize what these guys' secrets are, and how much they lied to you, that you'll understand why I'm so worried. I want to be able to tell this to you in person. And we'll get there. When we become friends. I can tell you all of this. I know you may not believe me. There's only so much that you'll be able to take without a grain of salt.

But I know how true it is.

I can prove it to you.

We just have to meet first. And that day is coming. I just have to wait for your next show, for your next appearance. As soon as it's announced, we can meet.

And I can explain to you everything you don't know.

A/N: So, if you haven't seen my tweet about it, I'm contemplating deleting this story as well as my other two McFly ones (if not permanent hiatus/discontinuation) since I don't feel entirely happy with what I've done so far. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy and enjoyed writing it, but, to me, it doesn't feel as good as it could be. Not to mention with McFly not doing much of anything, my motivation to write has waned.

But I hope you at least enjoyed this one.

Cheers,

-Riles