"Never been to a party before," Lionel commented as he looked around. "Seems pretty dull so far..."
"Yeah, a lot of Bruce's house parties are," Cherry whispered to him from behind her hand. "Lots of women wanna meet him to get him in bed and a lot of men are just jealous. Sometimes they think I'm his daughter from an old flame."
"I see..." Lionel noted, before his eyes widened. "Speaking of getting in bed... Looks like Bruce is being mobbed by those women." he stated, pointing out that Bruce was under the mistletoe and being advanced on by a swarm of hopeful women.
Cherry glanced over and rolled her eyes. "Oh, boy... I am not helping him this time."
"Now, ladies..." Bruce said, backing up from the girls who pursued after him. Just then, he was pulled back and kissed by a woman whose face was hidden, leaving a black lip mark on his cheek.
Bruce seemed to fall back into the swarm of women who coddled him like something had happened to him other than just a simple kiss. Eventually, some time had passed.
"Can we go now?" Cherry asked Bruce almost like she was desperate.
"Yeah, this party's boring!" Lionel added.
"All right, all right..." Bruce told them.
The girls soon came over.
"Oh, uh, Uncle Bruce, I think I've broken my spine," Cherry acted. "My spine. AAAAAOWWW!" she then yelled out in fake pain.
"Oh, Cherry, I think it's time I take you back home." Bruce said to her, taking a hold of her, putting her coat on which made the girls 'aww' that he had to go and take her home since she 'wasn't feeling well'.
"So sorry, ladies, but we'd best be going!" Lionel smirked, tipping his imaginary hat and pulling out a harmonica; he then began playing "Jingle Bells" as they headed out.
"Nice acting." Bruce said to Cherry.
"Clearly I'm better than you are." Cherry smirked.
"Spine?" Lionel asked, poofing himself into a parka and earmuffs. "I believe you could've picked something less...nightmarishly severe..."
"It was the first thing that came to mind." Cherry replied.
"May we give you a ride, Mr. Wayne?" A voice asked.
"No, thanks; I have my own car." Bruce smiled apologetically.
"Yeah, but thanks anyway!" Lionel added.
"Oh, but we insist!" Another voice replied.
"What would you boys do without me?" Cherry muttered to herself as she walked off, but Bruce seemed to be drawn back to the car.
"Whoa! What's going on?" Lionel wondered as Bruce went back towards the car.
Bruce grunted as he seemed to struggle before coming to the car with the two ladies inside of it who were revealed to be... Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn.
"Seasons greetings, Brucey," Ivy smirked. "Your two favorite party girls are out for some Christmas fun!"
Bruce struggled to go back. "Have...to get...Cherry...and...Lionel..." he grunted audibly.
"What's the hurry?" Harley grinned as she soon grabbed a hold of him and pulled him inside of the car before it drove off.
Lionel looked at the car as it drove off. "Oh, crud; we gotta do something!" he gulped.
"You're telling me, I got a headache," Cherry said as she kept walking off before looking around, suddenly feeling lost and scared since Bruce wasn't there with her which made her paranoid. "Bruce? BRUCE?!"
"C'mon. I've got an idea!" Lionel replied, taking her hand and following the car.
"Whoa!" Cherry yelped before she made herself follow him as they followed after the car.
Lionel then snapped his fingers and turned them both invisible and made them fly as they pursued the car.
"Don't tell me; Harley and Poison Ivy?" Cherry guessed.
"Yup!" Lionel nodded. "And I can only shudder when I imagine what sort of horrific torment they have in store for Bruce..."
"Probably make him go shopping with them." Cherry chuckled weakly as a pathetic joke.
The duo arrived where the car had stopped, and saw that it was outside a department store.
"You were right...it's worse than I could've imagined!" Lionel gasped.
"Whoa... I was kidding..." Cherry replied. "This is madness!"
Harley and Ivy were trying on tons of clothes, taking an UNBEARABLY LONG TIME, while Bruce had to carry their bags AND pay for their purchases.
"He's in more danger than we realized..." Lionel gasped. "We have to do something!
"What can we do?" Cherry replied, listening, though she looked at some things on display for the holidays. "Not even I'd do this to him when I was in my rebellious phase before Dickie grew up."
"Maybe WE can't do anything..." Lionel smirked. "But Bat-Mite and Lady Gothika CAN!"
"Hmm..." Cherry replied. "Well, I wanted a break away from school and home... Let's do this then."
"Alright!" Lionel smirked as he snapped his fingers, poofing them into their costumes, which now had winter-proofing additions to them. "I figure we could mess with them in disguise while they keep on shopping, and then finally show up properly and take them down!"
"Hmm... Probably..." Lady Gothika replied in thought. "Otherwise those shopping bills are gonna be up to Bruce's-"
"Just another reason to jail 'em," Lionel replied coolly. "So let's go!"
"C'mon." Cherry replied.
They soon moved out after Ivy and Harley to put a stop to this.
Eventually, they ended up at a place called Bergduff's. Lionel quickly disguised them both as store employees and teleported them both inside. Cherry peeked out when she was hiding around with Lionel. The girls soon came out of an elevator together, passing them.
"Step lively there, Brucey." Ivy smirked.
Bruce grunted as he stepped out, as the disguised Lionel and Cherry appeared, dressed as store employees.
"That's a lot of boxen." Cherry commented.
"Welcome to Bergduff's, and Merry Christmas, how can we help youse?" Lionel asked in a disguised voice.
"Just on my way out actually." Bruce grumbled as he didn't recognize them at first.
"I see, Mr. Wayne," Lionel replied. "And as for your two... Associates?" he glanced over to the both of them.
"I'd prefer nothing else!" Bruce grunted.
"Look! Pianos!" Harley pointed out of excitement.
"I've had... Just about enough of this...!" Bruce grunted under the strain of the bags.
"Alright! He's breakin' free!" Lionel grinned.
"I haven't seen him like that since I first found out about 'Aunt Selina'." Cherry whispered to Lionel.
"I think the stuff is wearin' off." Harley said to Ivy.
"We can't have that," Ivy replied, giving her some of her own lipstick. "Give him another shot."
"Uh-oh!" Lionel yelped. "Time to take action!"
Harley grinned as she got ready to kiss Bruce, much to his horror as he backed up against an out of order elevator.
"Yaaaugh!" Cherry yelled out and soon jumped onto Harley's back.
Harley grunted before glaring towards Cherry.
Lionel cackled as he rolled around on the floor. "Yeah, get her! Claw 'er eyes out!" he whooped.
"Get off of me!" Harley glared as she tried to get Cherry off before ramming up against the wall on her back to get Cherry off.
"Not unless you surrender..." Cherry said in a bit of a dazed tone from the beating before getting hit again. "OOF!"
Lionel saw this and growled angrily, like a pit bull.
"Is that all you got?" Cherry asked before getting hit again as she started to look a little beat up. "Izzat... All you... Got...?" she then fell off before wobbling slightly and nearly fell where Bruce had fell before she started to yell out.
"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Harley yelped. "We... We killed 'em!"
Lionel's eyes began turning red with rage and the clothes began spinning around him in a tornado of fury. Harley and Ivy yelled out once they looked over to see Lionel having one of his episodes.
"TIME TO WRECK! YOUR! HALLS!" Lionel boomed in a demonic voice, "NOW YOU SHALL KNOW THE POWERS OF THE KRAMPUS!"
"...Nah, I think I'll pass." Ivy said before running off with Harley.
Lionel began to cackle as the doors slammed shut. "OH, LEAVING SO SOON?! BUT THE PARTY'S ONLY JUST BEGINNING!" he cackled as red lightning flashed around his body.
Cherry and Bruce poked their heads out from the elevator and Bruce shushed Cherry while Harley and Ivy stopped at the doors.
"You are insane." Ivy said to Lionel.
"OOH, HELLO POT, MY NAME'S KETTLE!" Lionel cackled as he popped his head off his neck and began spinning it on his finger like a basketball. "THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH BEING NAUGHTY DURING THE HOLIDAYS?! THINK AGAIN, CUZ THIS IS HOW IT WAS BEFORE SANTA STARTED GIVING OUT COAL: HE HAD KRAMPUS TAKE THE BAD KIDS, AND BEAT THEIR BUTTS UNTIL THEY WERE SORE!"
Harley soon took out her mallet and swung it down to smash Lionel to shut him up.
But Lionel just seemed to grab the mallet and fling it back. "AH-AH-AH! NAUGHTY KIDS DON'T GET TO PLAY WITH TOYS THIS YEAR!" he grinned, conjuring a giant floating paddle.
"Ooh, are you gonna spank me?" Harley pinched his cheek with a smirk then.
"DO. NOT. TAUNT. ME." Lionel growled.
Harley giggled, unable to resist before she then lunged out for him with a growl. "Seasons Beatings!"
Bruce soon had Cherry go out for her own safety and assured her that he would be fine.
Lionel then shot his hands out, sending Harley flying back into Ivy. "AND NOW, FOR MY GRAND FINALE...I'LL TEAR THIS WHOLE DEPARTMENT STORE TO PIECES!" he cackled, as more electricity sparked around him and his tornado grew larger.
Harley and Ivy screamed as they rushed off for their own safety as it seemed like Lionel had gone off the deep end.
"Mind if I cut in?" A certain grave voice asked Lionel once he came out.
Lionel turned around. "Eh? Who's there?" he asked.
A figure soon came out from the shadows, revealing to be the Dark Knight himself: Batman, alive and well.
Lionel's rage subsided, and he floated back to the ground. "Aaaaaaaand scene!" he smirked.
"I was hoping to make my own dramatic entrance." Batman said to Lionel.
"I was merely playing it up to kill time." Lionel replied. "And where is LG?"
"I asked her to run into town to get some extra help," Batman replied. "A lot has changed since you two last came to Gotham."
"So I see..." Lionel nodded.
"Thank you for the help though." Batman replied.
"No problem," Lionel replied. "So whaddyou say we teach those two troublemakers some Christmas spirit?"
"You're going to change first, right?" Batman teased.
"Naturally." Lionel replied.
"Good," Batman smirked before looking over. "Lady Gothika should be here soon... If she cooperates properly this time."
"Let's hope so," Lionel replied as he changed into Bat-Mite. "Wouldn't be as fun without her!"
"But of course." Batman replied.
Harley and Ivy soon took the chance to sneak out only for Lady Gothika to open the doors on them, by accident or not.
"Uh, I couldn't find who you asked for." she then said to her godfather.
"Who were you looking for, anyway?" Bat-Mite asked.
"Apparently I'm supposed to find the one Batman asked for named Batgirl," Lady Gothika said before crossing her arms. "Are you seeing other daughter figures behind my back, Batsy?" she then teased.
"No, I'm sure you two will get along actually." Batman smiled to her.
"Alright." Bat-Mite smirked, looking down at the dizzy females who had been hit by the door.
"Oh... Did I do that?" Lady Gothika smiled sheepishly.
"Well, might as well let the cops take 'em away," Bat-Mite shrugged.
"This was too easy, I'm almost disappointed." Lady Gothika replied about how easy Harley and Ivy went down.
"Well, nothing could prepare them for getting slammed by a door," Bat-Mite replied.
"Hm," Lady Gothika shrugged as she soon went to tie the two girls up so that the police could get them when they would come here. "Merry Christmas, girls. Hope you can afford a tree behind bars."
Ivy soon reached under LG's skirt and pulled up her underpants.
"Yeek!" Lady Gothika yelped as that gave her a wedgie. "They're awake!"
"Why, you miserable little shmucks!" Bat-Mite growled. "I'll show YOU!" he channeled some electricity into his finger and zapped them both. "Wedgie THAT."
Harley and Ivy yelped to that.
"This outfit is embarrassing enough as it is..." Lady Gothika grumbled. "Stupid Alfred."
"I dunno..." Bat-Mite blushed. "I like it. Looks nice on you. But if you're looking to redesign it, I'd be happy to help make it."
"Probably someday..." Lady Gothika replied once she straightened herself out. "He made this outfit for me after the first time I ever came into Gotham City."
"Well, alright," Bat-Mite replied before turning to the two villainesses. "And maybe if you two are good, the big man's probably gonna bring you something nice next Christmas!"
"Yep!" Lady Gothika added. "Well, see ya!"
Harley and Ivy looked annoyed of course once they were disposed of.
"Well, here's your stupid tree..." Ivy growled. "Happy now?!"
Harley pouted before smiling innocently. "Yeah."
Then, an ornament bounced off her head. Harley kept her smile, but it was a bit dazed now.