I'm also including Thomas from now on. I must say you guys, I really like him. My fave character on the show is Donna and I think she could be really happy with the guy.
Please tell me what you think, of course, and thanks.
[Friday, 8.30 pm]
I still haven't chosen something for tomorrow night. Shit. I think I have a black one that I haven't wore in months. I'll have to check. She actually didn't feel like going, especially after spending these last few days with Thomas, who got her completely out of anything related to the firm and the whole amount of tension that built up in there recently. She felt like herself in here, with him.
The hit of the shower felt like a rebirth on her face. It's cold today.
The neighborhood is never silent, but her home is. Beautifully silent, just what she needed. Too much stress, too many external issues that nothing had to do with her. It's over now. Tonight's gonna be a good night. She was seeing Thomas tonight, she was going to his place. It hadn't been planned, she had just hang off the phone with him. She needed to see him, to feel great like she felt with him. As the skin of her scalp felt the hotness of the water flowing through her hair, she realized she hadn't thought of what to wear tonight, but tomorrow instead. She then saw that she felt no pressure when she was about to see Thomas; no overthinking on what to wear, what to eat, what to drink, as she had done before, when meeting other people. She felt like she didn't need to put on a show, or a mask, or prove him she was fearless. He already knew, he had already read her, and told her that he liked that of her. She was actually starting to think about him, and not on the immediate circumstances, not just about tonight's date. She couldn't help but picture herself what would they be like a few months from now on. Basically, she really liked him, and she didn't remember feeling the same way she felt in his company before. Except… forget about it. It's not viable, it's not probable, you're both so different. There are many people in this world that love and care for each other but there is a limit, from where they are able to give no more. There are many stories as such, I guess we're one of them.
She got out of the shower, and as she wrapped a towel around her body, she got back to think of what to wear tomorrow.
Her phone rang, a text. She walked out of the bathroom and checked on the screen:
Harvey: Tomorrow is cancelled. Guess we're not getting fancy drinks.
Fuck yes!, she thought.
Me: Shit. I really wanted to taste that champagne again. See you on Monday.
Thank you, God.
[Friday, 11.40 pm]
They were finishing the first bottle of the wine he had promised she would love. A french rosé; how about that. She had never heard of it in her entire life, but it was an absolute pleasure. They had been talking about all kinds of things; their childhoods, the upbringing they both had and their college stories. He had been married, once; everything ended up well, she was a good woman.
And then, the firm popped into the conversation. She told him about Jessica and how she basically immolated herself to save all of their asses and keep the firm standing, the many names that wall had, her stories with each of her colleagues.
-Tell me, Louis… -he started, while holding his glass and staring at an infinite point while searching for the right way of asking the question. Donna was already smiling. The man certainly aroused curiosity. -How is he actually? I mean, I can see he's really smart, and he knows what he does, but I have the slight impression that he carries a lot on his shoulders.
-You're not wrong. -she assured, before having a sip of that thing she was enjoying so much. -He does, and even more now.
-Really?
-Yes. He's gonna be a father in a few months, so…
-Oh, wow. I had no idea. -he reacted with his eyebrows up, a kind smile forming in his mouth immediately. -Now everything makes much more sense.
-And you? You never wanted them? -she asks.
-I… actually I have, since a long time and even today. -he affirms while he nods. -It's not something that I keep my everyday life searching for, but I would love to.
She smiles and just stays silent.
-Now you. -he says kindly.
-Me? Uh… -she shakes her head softly. -I never wanted to, and I honestly never thought I would make a good mother. I mean, why have them if you don't want them in the first place, right?
-Completely agree.
-Anyway… -she starts again. -What were you asking me about? Sorry.
-About Louis. Who seems to be hell of a character, and I don't even know the guy that much. -he smiles.
-You have no idea. -she laughs, and she places her glass on the table beside them.
-How did you get to COO?
-Well… after spending around 13 years being Harvey's secretary, I basically said 'I'm getting what I deserve in here, or I am fucking leaving' and he didn't have much of a choice.
-Really? Not everyone would be so fair about that.
-Yeah, I know. But he would rather lose a whole lot more things before not having me working with him, so…
-Why's that? -he asks. Shit, Donna, where are you going to?. She was starting to think that wine was as delicious as it was powerful. But she heard his tone perfectly; it was an innocent question, a complete ignorance asking for some perspective. You have to control the words you use. The poor had no idea.
-Because… we've been good friends for a long, long time and we're also partners in everything. We've gone through a lot, and we've always understood each other.
-Right… I know how that feels. he replies, and she could see he didn't notice anything suspicious. It was a harmless response. Donna mentally congratulated herself for not being too obvious. However, she couldn't get herself to continue the conversation, because she got trapped in her own mind thinking how things were going to be from now on. She definitely wanted her relationship with Thomas to go on and develop, and he would find out about she and Harvey's history sooner or later. Then she worries, because every relationship she tried to have in all these years usually ended up spoiled or tainted or grinded down because of her work. No, not because of work. Don't lie to yourself. It's not work, it's him.
She woke up from her fleeting trance when he placed his glass on the table.
-Let's open the other one, shall we? -she invites, and he replies with a firm nod. -You did like it.
-You weren't kidding. It's unbelievable. -she praises, while he stood up and walked to the kitchen.
She took her phone just to make an unconscious check, as many of us do when we have nothing else to do. She had a missed call from Harvey; It could be something about work, but if it was something urgent, he would call again, she thought. She chose to ignore it, it was clearly not something bad. Although, she had the feeling that this might be him wanting to make up for the drinks they wouldn't be having tomorrow night. She was sure he was probably going to invite her for drinks because obviously, they never missed an opportunity to drink.
The rest of the night went by. Another bottle was drank, a bit of laughs were let loose, and they finally got to sleep, at around two in the morning.
She left at around nine. After she got home, she got a text from Harvey. She was just about to change her clothes, when the phone rang shortly.
H: Good morning, can you talk?
What are you up to?
D: Yes, what is it?
H: What do you say we go out for drinks tonight? We can get that fancy somewhere else.
D: Sure. You tell me. I fucking knew it. I know you better than you know yourself, Specter.
[Saturday, 9 pm]
-About that… how are things going? -he asked in a tone that she had heard before, not many times. She knows where this is going already. He is resigned, but he is also digging. This was something he usually did when he wanted to know something and he didn't want to ask directly.
She nods a couple of times while her eyes are set on the small black napkin the bartender gave them. She thinks on what to say, everything is going fantastic as far as she is concerned. However, she had realized twenty minutes ago that right now, there was no other place she would rather be. The same thing she felt while being with Thomas the night before, that same feeling of belonging, of being home.
-Good. Really. -she says. That last word was meant for herself, not for him, actually. She had to remember herself how much Thomas intrigued her and how much interest he awoke in her. Because right now, she couldn't honestly remember.
-That's great. -he replies. And she thinks they might as well cut the crap in this precise instant.
-What is it? -she questions.
-What do you mean?
-We have been talking about all kinds of business for an hour, and suddenly you ask me that, a question whose answer I gave you a few days ago. Same question, same answer. And don't think I didn't notice the change in your voice and your face. You want to ask me something, and… -she breathed in deeply. She knew how much weight carried what she was going to say next. -It's time. C'mon, say it.
He nods, and his eyebrows raise slightly. His eyes are down on his glass. His fingers trace the borders. -Is it serious?
-What thing? -she knows what he means. But they're not teenagers and he should know by now that she hates his games.
-You and him. -he looks her in the eyes, for once. Maybe the rage or the jealousy or whatever she knows he's trying to bury are too strong for him to hide, and eyes never lie, as her grandmother said.
She stares at his Adam's apple. She thinks on the answer too much.
-I guess so.
-That's not an answer.
-It is for me, maybe it's you who wants a different answer.
He doesn't answer. She's right.
-You're right. -that's all he says. He drinks another sip, but his eyes never leave hers. She doesn't want to let go of his gaze too, just to prove how done she is with all of this. She feels like collapsing inside; her chest is so heavy. She needs air, she needs it now, or she won't hold up any longer.
-I need air. -she says, she stands and walks out. When the night air hits her, she feels like she just woke up from a dream she never realized she was having. She laid back against the wall beside the door, and breathed in deeply. She wished he wouldn't follow her; he hasn't yet. Maybe he knows he has no right to whatever he is about to do, or say, or try.
It's only been a minute, but it was the miraculous recovery she needed; she wasn't sure of what she felt, though, before going inside again. He was still sitting in his place; after all, he remained silent and just simply admitted she was right. This was definitely one of those days they were going to remember.
She got inside again, and walked slowly to her previous place. He sees her come back and doesn't say anything. She sits, and finishes the drink. The wine was good, I needed it.
-You can't keep doing this. -she needed to get it out of her chest.
He doesn't answer, again. He stares at her knees -for what she can observe- and nods, after two or three seconds.
-I know. -he says.
-Well then, can I trust that we won't go through this again, or what? Because I'm done.
-The last thing I would do is ruin something you care about on purpose. -he says, and now his eyes are staring right into hers.
She breathes again. -I know, but this keeps happening. -she can't believe they got to this point where they are talking about the things they have been so scared of for more than a decade and they don't even bother on disguising it anymore. They were talking about it as if they were talking about bread.
-Can I speak frankly? -he questions, and she thinks she sees his eyes getting moist.
-Please do. -she replies, and looks away, to the vodka bottles on the shelf.
-I don't know if I can do this any longer… I think it's time that we come clear, Donna. For both of us' sake. For our friendship, for our partnership, for the love we have for each other.
She nods. She agrees, but she hasn't fully processed what he says. She hopes he speaks first. -Me too. We should. Not here, though.
-No. -he says. At least they needed a place where they can yell at each other.