This one was really fun for me because we don't usually get to see or experience what Harvey is thinking, especially when it comes to his feelings, so this chapter comes mostly from Harvey's perspective, as difficult as it was to write, it was tons of fun to come up with! As always I'd love to hear what you think!
I'm going to try and get the bulk of this up before the show comes back, but we'll see how long it takes to actually write it out!
Ch 3 – Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms
Nobody's gonna come and save you
We pulled too many false alarms
.
.
Harvey can not believe he agreed to help Louis help Thomas fucking Kessler keep his company. If Donna thought their relationship was strained before, how was she going to take the news that Harvey was helping with her boyfriends case. Panic starts to rise in his chest as he lay in bed, unable to get up and go meet Louis to discuss the details of the impending take over. What if she thought he was doing this to sabotage Thomas? Or worse, what if she thought he was doing it as an excuse to get close to her after their falling out.
His phone beeps and he reaches for it from the bedside table. He rolls his eyes once he reads the alert that had popped up and tosses the phone to the other side of the bed before heading to the shower. It was a reminder to book his flight for the firm retreat in two weeks. He wondered if she was bringing him. She probably was, why wouldn't she. If he wasn't a name partner there was no way in hell he'd be going to this thing, but his name was plastered on that wall just outside of the elevator, so he was stuck supporting Louis's attempts at firm bonding. He supposes it won't be too bad, but then again it wouldn't be too bad if he was on speaking terms with Donna and he wasn't worried about her boyfriend tagging along. On second thought, it was going to be brutal.
He let's the cold water run over his body as he places his forehead against a cool tile, not wanting to open his eyes and admit defeat to this already god-awful day. He didn't know what he was going to say to her when he saw her at the office after their blowout, but now he really didn't know what to do. He'd drunkingly, but not so stupidly promised himself that he was going to show her how he felt about her, but what if she hated him for getting involved in Thomas's case? What if she hated him after he couldn't tell her how he truly felt about her, again.
She accused him of playing a game and the harshness of her words and cruelness of the accusation stung more than the ice cold water Harvey splashed in his face. After all these years how could she not know how he felt about her? He contemplates where things had gone wrong during their time at the firm, and it starts to click that maybe Donna really doesn't know how he feels, maybe she really believes he's suddenly speaking up because she's spoken for. God, what a mess their relationship had become. Between the misleading I love you's and the lingering glances they just couldn't catch a break.
He should have told her how he loved her when she asked him all those years ago, but he didn't really know how he loved her back then. He was young and immature, he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. He shouldn't have snapped at her when she kissed him on her office, when it was really himself he was angry with, for kissing her back, and wanting to kiss her again. And against last night, he had the chance to tell her and he blew it. They had once agreed said that if they couldn't tell each other the hard truths, then what were they doing. Harvey takes a deep breath and shuts the water off. Thomas Kessler or not, he was going to show her the way he felt about her, whether she'd listen to him or not. He may have to break down a few walls to get her to forgive him and rekindle their friendship, but he'd be damned if he didn't at least try.
He steps out of the shower and wraps himself in a towel, suddenly motivated to get this day over with. He grabs his phone and sends a message to his new secretary to book his plane ticket for the trip, then sends Louis a message letting him know he's available for the 9 o'clock meeting he requested.
An hour later Harvey strolls out of the elevator and into the lobby, coffee and bagel in hand. He passes Donna's office on the way to his own and notices her sitting at her desk typing away. He'd always admired her work ethic and his heart lurched with pride when he thinks about how far she had come to earn her position as one of the city's best COO's. She doesn't look up as he walks past, so he puts his head down until he reaches his office. He loved when she wore that blue dress. It hugged her in just the right places and always sent his mind back to the other time. Focus, Harvey, he reminds himself of the task on hand and grabs the files Louis left on his desk before making his way to conference room C.
He's taps lightly on her office door as he passes by again. The small falls from her face when she looks up and sees who's standing in the threshold of her office.
"What is it Harvey?" she asks coldly
"I just wanted to let you know that Louis asked me to help out on Thomas's case, but I can back out if you want"
"I know Thomas told me that they needed your help, after the party last night."
"Is that going to be a problem?" he asks
"Why would it be a problem?" she replies, turning back to the work on her desk she was flipping through before he interrupted.
Harvey cocks his head to the side and raises an eyebrow in response, "I just didn't know, given that things between us are….. complicated… lately"
"We're adults Harvey, I think we can manage to work together like adults" she remarks
"Okay, well in that case I have a meeting to get to" and he turns to head towards conference room C to meet Louis.
The meeting drags on and he's grateful for the coffee that's helping keep his eyes open. Louis goes on about their strategy and all the nitty gritty details of the case and Thomas' company. Harvey is just grateful Thomas isn't present, according to Louis he had to fly to his company's branch in Europe to tie up some loose ends in case the case went to trial. He understands why Louis asked for his help, though still slightly floored that Louis reached out at all, but the case seems manageable with the two of them working on it and he gathers that they'll have the matter resolved in a few weeks time. The meeting wraps up and Louis pauses before leaving the conference room to ask him a question.
"Harvey, did you see my email about booking your flight? Because two weeks will be here before we know it and we can't have a name partner not show up because he forgot to book his flight" Louis rambles
"It's been taken care of Louis" Harvey adds, passing Louis and heading down the hall back towards his office
"Great. Maybe while we're there you and I could go mudding?" Louis smiles a toothy grin
"Not a chance in hell" Harvey smiles with fake enthusiasm before shutting the door to his office and making his way to his desk.
The week nears an end and he still hasn't talked to her. Sure, they spoke a handful of times, but the conversations were strictly work related, hardly friendly, and he was starting to realize showing her how he feels was going to be a lot harder than he thought. He hasn't seen Thomas come by to pick her up this week and he knows from Louis that he was returning from his trip this upcoming weekend.
He packs up his things, putting a few folders and his laptop into his bag and gets ready to head home for the weekend. Instead of grabbing his coat he grabs two glasses and a bottle of scotch and heads for her office, not even bothering to check if she was still there, he knows she would be. It was time to break the ice, before he lost his mind. He couldn't stand not speaking to her, it physically hurt him when they fought.
She's sitting at her desk typing away when he knocks on the door and holds up the glasses with a shy smile.
"What's this?" she asks
"A peace offering?" he suggests, staying rooted in his spot in the doorway
She takes him in. Tie slightly too far to the left, collar slightly wrinkled, hair disheveled. He was a mess. The only time she'd ever seen him so off his game was when she went to go work for Louis. She's been upset since they fought the week prior, and Thomas was beginning to pick up on her distracted sadness. He'd asked her several times on the way home that night and had even clued in on the fact that her sudden mood change had something to do with the firm's name partner, questioning her about the relationship between her and Harvey for the first time ever on the phone the day before. She'd be lying to herself if she said she didn't miss him so without hesitation she invites him in.
"Come in" she smiles gently, moving to join him on the couch.
She sits on the opposite side of the couch and accepts the glass he offers her. In effort to keep things light she adds, "How are things with the case going?"
"Well actually, I think we may have found a way to allow Thomas to keep control of his company, and not have to go to trial"
"That's great Harvey, Louis must be thrilled"
"I imagine Thomas is too" he mumbles, "But you probably already knew that, the details came through this afternoon" he adds, flustered at his own reference to him.
"I didn't actually…"
"Donna look. About the other night, I just wanted to say…" he begins the apology he'd rehearsed in his head all week only to be interrupted by a knock on her office door. He turns around to see none other then Thomas Kessler, bouquet of flowers in hand. Perfect. Just perfect. He could not catch a break lately. Donna gets up and greats him with a kiss on the cheek and takes the flowers, bringing them to a vase on her desk.
"What are you doing here?" she smiles at Thomas
"My meeting ended early and I thought I'd surprise my girl" Thomas adds, flashing a million dollar smile at Donna as she rearranges the flowers. Harvey's stomach clenches at Thomas' referring to Donna as his girl. He had no right to be jealous, he knew that. He had his shot it and was in no way fair to her to decide he wanted this so many years after the fact. But he couldn't help himself. She was his other half and he was certain of it. The way his skin boiled as Thomas' hand lingered on her arm only reassured him.
"I wasn't interrupting something, was I?" Thomas adds, a hint of jealousy and warning in his tone
Thomas knew Harvey and Donna were close before he started dating her, and he'd heard the rumors about the name partner and COO being more than friends, but he trusted Donna and never asked her about her past relationship with Harvey. That is until this week. Her mood had been off since that party and he couldn't figure out why. He saw her head out onto the balcony before rejoining him and Louis at the bar, and he also saw Harvey leave the same balcony looking rather upset not long after she rejoined him. He hated to that guy, bringing up the past, but something was nagging at him telling him that with these two perhaps it wasn't the past he was bringing up. When he asked her if Harvey had anything to do with her sudden sadness and anger she said they'd had a small argument and she was just stressed at work, but the tension in this room and the two glasses of scotch told a different story. Thomas was starting to wonder if maybe their was more than what meets the eye when it came to how Harvey felt about Donna. His Donna.
"Not at all, I was just leaving actually" Harvey says, excusing himself and making his way towards the door
"We were just celebrating the exciting news. Looks like they have your case in the bag" Donna adds. She doesn't know why she feels like she needs to justify Harvey being in her office, but after Thomas's sudden acquisition of Harvey's responsibility for her uptight mood this week, she felt it was necessary.
"Looks like it" Thomas grins
"Hey babe, can you do me a favour and meet me at the car, I just want to talk to Harvey about a little case detail"
"Sure" she nods grabbing her coat and moving to pass Thomas and towards the door. As she walks past him he places a hand on her arm and stops her in her tracks, pressing his lips firmly against hers and then releasing her, returning his glare to Harvey.
Asshole, Harvey thinks. Parading Donna around him like she's some prize to be won. She deserved so much better then him. Donna bids him a goodnight as she passes and he turns to Thomas.
"What was it you wanted to ask?" Harvey prods, anxious to leave the office
"Oh nothing, I just wanted to make sure you understood that Donna is dating me"
"Okay?" Harvey stares back at Thomas, confused
"So, you can knock off whatever stunt you're trying to pull here. I've heard the rumors Specter, and I wanted to believe they were just that, rumors. But after watching the way you look at my girlfriend, I'm starting to think they're true. Do you think I don't see how you look at her? You'd have to be blind not to see it! Here's your warning, either back the hell off, or I'll make you back off" Thomas finishes and brushes past Harvey towards the elevator before Harvey has a chance to reply.
Next thing he knows his feet are carrying him down the hall towards the elevators.
"You know what asshole! She deserves a hell of a lot better than you!" he calls after Thomas
"What did you just say to me?" Thomas calls back
"You heard me" Harvey snips before being met with a sharp right hook to the eye that lands him on the face first on the floor. Thomas sets onto the elevator that has just arrived, leaving Harvey on the ground and calls out as the doors close, "Consider that your warning"
Harvey drags himself up and shakes his head, trying to regain his balance. He stumbles back to his office and grabs his stuff, ready to head home for the night. Instead of putting his coat on he plops down on the couch and pours himself a drink.
He begins to stir and wakes up to a small yelp.
"Jesus Harvey, you scared me half to death. What are you doing here?" Donna asks
"I must've fallen asleep" he recalls, pulling himself up and taking in the familiar surroundings of his office
"What are you doing here?" he asks
"Louis asked me to print out the trip itinerary for next week and put them on everyone's desks before Monday" she gestures to the stack of papers she's holding
"Oh, so you're being forced to go to that too?" he says, trying to act casual
"I am" she smiles back
"Oh my god Harvey! What happened to your eye?" she says noticing the black eye he's sporting
"Oh, it's from boxing, there was a little bit of an accident"
"Does it hurt? It looks new? You didn't have that yesterday?" she says sitting next to him on the couch and examining it
"I'm okay" he answers "I promise" he adds when the look she sends him tells him she isn't convinced
He can smell her perfume she's sitting so close and for a moment he wishes he could tuck the loose strand of hair behind her ear and run his fingers along her porcelain arms. He forces himself to focus.
"Do you, ugh, need a hand with those?" he asks, motioning to the stack of forms he's holding
"Actually yes, you can help me put the packages together. Meet me in the copy room in 10?"
"Sure"
He gets up and rubs the sleep from his eyes. He should have told her what happened with Thomas, but he doesn't want her to think he provoked Thomas or tried to ruin her shot at happiness, so he keeps his mouth shut. He slides his shoes on and heads to make a coffee before going to meet her. The office is quiet, since most employees did not come in on Saturday mornings. Maybe that was exactly what he needed to apologize to her, a quiet Saturday morning at the firm.