Ch 4 – I'm Your Man
I've been running through these promises to you
That I made and I could not keep
Ah, but a man never got a woman back
Not by begging on his knees
Or I'd crawl to you baby and I'd fall at your feet
And I'd howl at your beauty like a dog in heat
And I'd claw at your heart, and I'd tear at your sheet
I'd say please
I'm your man
She hears the door open as she smacks her hand against the side of the copier, willing it to work. A broken, uncooperative photocopier was the last thing she needed today. She was surprised to find Harvey asleep in his office this morning, but she supposes any company will serve as a welcome distraction. The unnecessary paper work was hardly enough to keep her mind occupied, but Louis was unable to come up with more work for her on such short notice. She was grateful he had been able to give her any work at all when she called and asked him late the night before. She was even more grateful that he didn't ask questions or press any further on why she suddenly wanted to come in and work all weekend. She wasn't ready to share the reason just yet; her mind hadn't fully processed it.
"Hey" he mumbles coming up behind her
"Who's winning?" he smirks, looking between her and the copier she's hitting
As if on cue, the copier begins to work, and she flashes him a victorious smile, "I'd say I won this round" she adds
"How can I help?"
"You can staple those" she points to the stack of papers next to her spot at the photocopier. He pauses for a moment before nodding and rounding the machine to stand beside her. He begins to staple the papers, their close proximity not going unnoticed be either of them. They work in silence for a while, the room being filled with noise from the machine as they work. The machine groans and spits out papers, and the stapler clicks. Donna clips groups of papers together and Harvey puts them into folders. It's nearly systematic. They don't need to speak to communicate, working through the motions rigorously as time drones on with mere clicks and crinkles of paper. His arm brushes against hers as he reaches for his next stack of papers and she blushes and looks away. This was ridiculous, she said it herself; they were adults, they might as well start acting like adults, he thinks.
She leaves her spot next to him and crosses the room to grab more folders when he finally finds the strength to break the silence.
"Donna" he begins, causing her to look up
"What are we doing?" he questions
'We're making copies" she quips back
"You know what I mean" he replies, managing to keep a straight face as he tilts his head in a way he reserves for her.
"I don't know what you want me to say Harvey…" she says as if she's already exhausted from the conversation they have yet to have.
"Then just listen" he says, drawing in a deep breath
"I'm sorry for the other night"
"You're sorry?!" she interjects, making it clear that a simply sorry was not going to fix this
"Let me finish"
She studies his face and relents, shrinking back against the wall with her arms folding across her chest as he continues.
"I didn't mean to let your relationship come between our friendship, and I'm sorry that I did. I know it's not fair and I have no right to say I want more now, when I should have said something the moment I knew I wanted it."
He pauses to study her face after his implied confession of wanting more with her. If she's picked up on what he said, her face shows no sign of it as she continues to stare at him wide-eyed, willing him to go on.
"I truly wanted you to be happy, want you to be happy" he corrects himself
"And if he makes you happy, then that's the only thing that matters. I need you in my life Donna. I've been lost without you, you're my best friend, and truth be told I have no idea how I'm going to handle an entire week of Louis' firm bonding without you"
His comment about Louis' retreat makes her smirk and he relaxes a bit. She knows he's glossed over the details of their argument, and that they haven't addressed the real reason they keep having this argument, but she missed him too, and today of all days, she needed a friend. She decides to pretend not to notice his vague statement about wanting more and put this past them. This was what they did, they pushed their feelings aside and glossed over the uncomfortable details in fear of unmasking the truth they contained.
"Truce?" she smiles at him shyly
"Truce" he grins back
"Good because I'm in desperate need of some lunch" she says
"Want me to call and order from that shitty Thai place you like so much?"
"I think you better!"
He's about to head back to his office when he hears her call his name
"Harvey? I'm sorry too you know. For …everything"
As vague as her apology is, they both know she had nothing to apologize for. There was no rule against her moving on with her life, so she geared her apology towards their screaming match and the way she reacted to his words out on that balcony. But the way she said everything loaded her statement and leaves him wondering what she meant by it.
"I know" he smiles before turning down the hall and heading to his office.
Donna puts the folders Harvey had prepared together in a neat pile and closes her eyes. This was not at all what she thought today would be like, but she was glad this was the way it was turning out. She'd made the right decision coming into the office, it was a perfect distraction from her situation.
"I would pay a million dollars to see you go mudding with Louis!" she jokes, pointing to the itinerary for the upcoming weeks trip.
"Ready to put your money where our mouth is?" he jokes
"Hmm on second thought, I like my money right where it is. Doesn't mean I wouldn't pay to see that"
"Over my dead body" Harvey remarks
The pair find themselves sprawled out on the floor of Harvey's office eating out Thai food out of cartons. The afternoon had slipped by rather quickly and they found themselves catching up on what they'd missed in the other's life over the past few weeks. Donna's father had found another potential investment project (that Harvey reluctantly agreed to look over) and Harvey was working on a new case for a high-profile baseball player, which he was rather excited about.
He couldn't help but notice how easily to conversation flowed between them, never running out of things to talk about and making one another laugh. God, he missed her laugh. He's grateful she doesn't bring up Thomas, but he can't help but wonder what he would think about them spending the afternoon together. Of course, it was an innocent lunch between two friends, Harvey wouldn't dare let himself make a move while she was seeing someone else, but Thomas didn't seem thrilled about Harvey spending time with Donna the other night. He knows better than to ask, but his gut tells him Thomas wouldn't approve of Donna's friendship with him and he finds his mind wandering to what would happen if Thomas ever gave Donna an ultimatum. He quickly pushes the thoughts aside, not wanting to imagine a world without her.
"Harvey?" Donna's voice snaps him back to reality, "You okay?"
"Sorry I guess I just got lost in thought" he admits
"About?" she teases
"How to get out of this trip" he lies, convincingly enough that he thinks she buys it. Of course she can read him better than anyone and knows there's something else on his mind, but she decides not to push him.
"It won't be that bad, besides you're stuck with me" she teases
"Poor me" he flirts back and immediately scolds himself for flirting with her. He promised himself he would show her how he felt about her without falling into one of their old habits, and flirting was something they'd always done. Screw it, he decides, he was going after what he wanted. And what he wanted was everything. With Donna.
He picks up one of the itinerary's from the pile they copied and skims down the list, nearly spitting out his egg roll as he reads "Firm Spa Day"
"Firm spa day?! This is a joke right? The last thing I need is to see Louis in a robe, or worse, a towel!" he exclaims which causes Donna to giggle at the disgusted look on his face.
He continues reading, skimming over the variety of firm bonding exercises and events Louis had planned out. Some seemed tolerable, there was a few staff dinners and workshops but he was already thinking of excuses to get out of some of the more ridiculous tasks like staff spa day and staff water aerobics.
"How are we supposed to fit all this stuff in four days?"
"Not much of a vacation" she chimes in
"I say we both conveniently come down with something on day 2 so we can spend the day doing nothing" he proposes
"Harvey Specter toying with the idea of an actual vacation, I never thought I'd see the day" she smirks
"One day wouldn't hurt. But you have to join me" he flirts
"I do?" she raises an eyebrow mockingly
"How will you enjoy a vacation if I'm there?" she adds
"Everything's better when you're there" he smiles, causing her to cheeks to redden and her to look away.
The sound of her phone startles them both as she scrambles to her feet to find it. He follows her lead and wanders over to his desk as she puts the phone back down and smiles over at him.
"I should get going" she shrugs
"You should, you probably have a date to get ready for" he smiles slightly managing to keep the statement light-hearted and genuine, trying his best not to grimace at his slight mention of Thomas. He falls silent after his comment, not really knowing what to say next. They managed to go the entire afternoon without Thomas coming up, why did he have to go and bring him up now.
Donna also falls silent at Harvey's comment, but quickly recovers and sends him a sweet smile.
"Goodnight Harvey"
And with that she sashays out of his office and down the hall.
He works for the rest of the evening and heads home once the sun goes down. Once home he loosens his tie and pours himself a glass of scotch before settling down in bed with his laptop. His phone blinks on the table where he placed it next to his bed and he flips it over to find to find two missed messages. The first one is from Louis, telling him the deal with Kessler's company went through. A wave of relief washes over him, knowing he won't have to interact with Thomas any more than necessary in the future. At first, he thought he knew what Donna saw in him, he was a well put together man who was easy on the eyes, but after getting to know the guy he was starting to wonder. From what he gathered Thomas Kessler was a jealous, over-possessive, manipulative asshole, but he supposes his blackened eye may cause him to have a biased opinion.
The second message is from Donna, thanking for him his help today and telling her she had a great time with him. He feels his pulse pick up as he opens her message and relaxes into a smile as he finishes reading. Maybe this retreat won't be as bad as he thought, now that he could spend it with her.
They were supposed to leave for Utah on Monday, which meant he had three days to get his shit together and figure out how to win her over. Today was a big step, and he was thrilled they'd manage to rekindle their friendship. For majority of the afternoon it seemed normal again. They were Harvey and Donna. Managing partner and COO. The flirty banter and the he said, she said dynamic they shared was one many couples strive for, yet it came easily to them. He would just have to use their "normal" relationship to show her how much she means to him, to show her what he finally knew had been true for years; to have everything was worth risking everything.
Meanwhile, when Donna finally makes it home she shuts the door behind her and sinks against it. What the hell was she going to do…
I'd love to hear what you guys think! Chapter 5 will kick start the firm retreat :)