Chapter Six: Dot
Nagisa awoke dazedly, a fine pink dust trembling warmly upon his shoulders and concealing the dot of his freckles. A fair light filtering in through the window caressed the air as little particles shivered through the room. The memory of firm arms graced his hips, and the whisper of lips brushed against his in sweet parting. His falling sheets exposed the curve of his collarbone as he rolled to one side in order to check the time on the clock at his bedside table. It was just barely past eight, and the moment was perfect to rise. He cast away his curtains and allowed the sun to leak in - the day promised to be the first beautiful one in a long while. Every ray of sunshine stroked starry dewdrops upon the grass and trees in front of his house. He sighed and leaned against the windowsill, basking in the memory of the night that had caused him to awake in a blush.
After the kiss, Rei refused to surrender Nagisa, let alone leave him there to await Hana on his own. He cited warmth as his reason, maintaining that it wouldn't do for his date to be cold, but they were both well aware that it was a flimsy lie at best. He allowed his hands to roam about the blond's hips experimentally while the smaller man explored the muscles of his arms through his fine coat. The gentle wind carried soft sweet-nothings upon it, murmurs that stopped only when they leaned in for another kiss. He would lean forward upon his toes and tentatively use his sumptuous lips to beg for something deeper: but Rei held out and kept them beautifully virtuous until at last, Nagisa abandoned the pursuit of running forward to simply savor the moment, the thick taste of wine and chocolate complimenting the mood.
Hana had been polite to honk blaringly as she pulled up to the curb, cutting the pair off from their intimate moments and whisked her friend away after a sorrowful, sweet kiss goodbye. The promise of return danced in the breeze. And so, Nagisa made his way home and collapsed in his bed, a chaste blush glowing from his sheets.
He pushed himself off of the sill and made his way to his floor, tossing this and that out of his way until he found his black and pink jogging shorts, printed V-neck shirt, and a light jacket from uni to wear for his morning jog. He felt he had the energy to go all the way to the coffee shop and back today without the aid of the city bus, but as he donned his clothes and stepped out the door, as per usual, he found himself starting off in the opposite direction. He bounded off to the left, away from his usual bus stop, and passed several single storey houses similar to his own. It never took him longer than five minutes to reach the two-storey area, mostly inhabited by middle-class families. After this, he passed a hedge that stood taller than himself, shielding a park from view. The entrance was at the end of the block. He stepped into the park, passing a few other runners on his way down the path and came to a creek, alongside which he jogged for about another five minutes before he approached a pedestrian bridge. He crossed it jauntily, and instead of turning this way or that, he ran straight forward to a brick driveway carved artfully through a manicured lawn. At the top of the slope stood a reserved brick building constructed traditionally with even lines of colorful flowers out front. A sign at the top of the drive read "St. Lucy's Community Hospital: In-Patient Clinic". As confidently as if he himself resided there, Nagisa strode up and danced his way into the front hall.
St. Lucy's was an immaculate and quaint building, both inside and out. Within the main hall was a fairly comfortable waiting area, dotted here and there with average chairs and an occasional couch, the scent of Purex slicing sharply as a scalpel through the room. The coffee tables held a multitude of medical magazines, all well-worn and out-dated by several months. Down either hall, were several examination rooms which remained consistent with the expected bed, sink, table, and mediocre art. Even from this level, the unsettling silence was interrupted intermittently only by the buzz of the lights and the echo of beeping machines down the clean, white halls.
He strolled away from the empty waiting area and leaned over the front desk at the nurse who'd taken over the receptionist job as well. He grinned at her, wiped a bit of sweat off his brow, and requested, "Could I get a visitor's pass, please?"
"Sure. Have a good visit," she replied, passing him a name tag with a room number assigned to it. The man waved at her as he turned down one of the halls to one of the doors leading out.
The facility was constructed in a typical horseshoe shape, hiding a pleasant courtyard in the back, away from any prying eyes. It featured bubbling fountains, along with a multitude of flowers, trees, and benches, creating a somewhat stereotypically peaceful area, meant for deep thoughts, rest, and relaxation.
He strolled down a long hall to the last room on the left. The faded fluorescent bulbs hummed from above. They reflected off of the sterile white-washed walls, leaving him with the feeling of being trapped in a suffocating world. And opening the door to that last room was no different.
Inside, the sunlight was weak, filtering through low linen curtains that were drawn shut. No lights were on. The room was cast in a dim, tired greyscale, the only colors coming from several months' worth of fashion magazines stacked neatly in a shelf, each one organized by its date and worn through at the corners. Beside the window was a hunched, crippled silhouette with a gentle wave of wispy, misty hair, glittering sunset pill bottles surrounding the figure as though it were a still statue.
"Daddy?" Nagisa called tenderly into the room. A frail hand inched down a metal wheel and pivoted its chair slowly to face the boy in the room, tugging with what little strength its soldiering might had left to give. When the man completed the revolution, he sagged back into the wheelchair and flung open both arms with abandon, grinning a toothless, wistful grin. The blond brightened like the sun after a shower and dashed in, launching himself into his father's arms. "Daddy, how are you? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever - also it's a totally nice day, so I'm taking you out for a walk around the courtyard." He chuckled heartily, wrapping the skin of his arms around his son's back as he slid off of the elderly man's lap.
"Easy does it," Colonel Kenichi Hazuki of the British Army croaked, "it's only been a week and a few days, hasn't it?" Nagisa smiled apologetically, leaning over his father's embrace while simultaneously reaching over to his bed for a plain, worn throw. When that failed to work, he wriggled away from the colonel to toss the blanket over his legs.
"It's a little nippy out," he explained, standing fully on his own. "Besides, I usually visit at least twice a week - I can't just, like, not show up!" The brunet man's eyes drifted away like a wispy cloud as he eyed his closed curtains while Nagisa began pushing him from behind.
"Yes, but you've been working hard - didn't you say there was something going on? You seemed down last time. Is work okay?" Carefully, the blond bumped his chair over the edge of the door and out into the chilly, beautiful morning.
"Yeah," he began, working his way toward the shallow brook. "I was kind of sick of being an assistant, but it's all good - I finally got promoted!" He puffed up somewhat pompously and his father twisted in his chair to pat his driving hands. "I'm a columnist now," he explained cheerfully. "I get to write the accessories column now - it's monthly! Also - the new issue is coming out next week - can you believe it? Now you actually have a reason to read all those magazines I bring you." The colonel murmured a laugh and replied mildly,
"I read them because you are proud of them, of your work, and so I am proud too. I read them all the time, but I haven't had the chance for a few days - Dr. Green said that she feels I'm strong enough to leave the room now, so I've been going upstairs to pass the time lately." Nagisa beamed at his father, a million shades of gold from his hair, the sun, and his heart glittering along his face.
"Daddy, that's so great! You're getting better! You're really improving!" The man chuckled at his son's relentless praise at his progress, waving it off with a vein-stroked hand. Out the corner of his eye, the boy caught it and in turn rolled his own pretty hazel-red ones. "Don't give me that," he scolded with exasperation. "You've done really good, I mean it." They neared the creek and parked right beside a bench. Long leaves were webbed with mildew, partially soaked in the grey stream, with dots of dust resting on the dry areas. The blond tucked his legs under him and leaned off the edge to look at his father. He grunted in reply and did not settle down in contentment until he took his sun-bleached blanket and spread it over the both of them.
"Your legs are all bare, you oughta be freezing in those shorts."
"I'm fine, Daddy," he soothed, "I just jogged for like, 15 minutes. I came straight from home." He gave a miserly huff and the father and son cast their gazes into the brook. A breeze tickled the surface, grasses bowing and bothering the surface, and sent soft brushes of ripples outward from the eddies. Half-drowned, wet flowers slouched at the shores, disturbed by the round rocks of the stream. The pair was silent awhile, both captivated by their thoughts. Nagisa intuitively felt that his father did not want to chat away, hiding away his worries under the guise of pleasantries as he'd often did when his boy was young. So while the sunny son focused on the rising day, his father reflected the days leading to his current twilight. Hesitantly, his lips twitched and the blond attentively perked toward the colonel.
"How's Kathy?" he murmured, the wind rocking the wavering words away into the west. The boy flinched and in his heart, an old scar stretched widely enough to embrace his father's mirrored one.
"Um, I guess she's all right. But, um - well, we haven't really talked much recently," he admitted cautiously. His father nodded sadly at the growing distance.
"How about Emi? And Maki and Rika too? Are they doing well?" He pursued the topic despite Nagisa's discomfort. "They must be very busy - it's been awhile since I've seen them. Are they working? You've spoken to them, right? They must be so successful." The blond's heart pulled itself thinly to both sides of his chest and drooped low like a wrinkly raindrop on a window pane.
"They're great, I heard," he lied whitely. "Emi's working a little ways from Essex - she's an officer now, but you know that. Maki, let's see, she's um... she's got a job with an architecture firm, and Rika... well, I'm not sure what she's been up to, it's been awhile, but she's doing something at a business firm. Travels a lot, too." In truth, he hadn't spoken to any of them in an incredibly long time - other than quick and awkward phone calls for birthdays, it had been over a year. He had the tendency to avoid that part of the family, for since their mother's marriage to Nathan Abbott, a horribly outspoken bigot-but-present family man that had won the hearts of all four women, he had not felt welcome. He had never come out to any of them, nor did he ever dress in a particularly feminine fashion when around, nor did he ever reveal his job beyond "writer for a magazine", yet somehow the man couldn't stand Nagisa's delicate demeanor. It may have been due to the photos of him as a child, dressed and painted by his sisters, or perhaps the fault of his caring, tender heart, but Nathan only ever saw fit to correct the blond boy's very existence on the planet. At first, when they made up the very photograph of bliss, he hadn't minded, but the longer they carried on as a family, the more his mother - followed by his sisters - began questioning why he was so effeminate. It was that condition of their atrophic, blood-beating hearts that broke his softly expanding and retracting one and since, he had given them a wide berth.
"They'll come see me soon," the colonel assured himself, "just you wait and see." But Nagisa couldn't shake the feeling that the forlorn man spoke in vain. When their eyes next met each other, a flickering hum of warmth shone in their dark, honey depths like a semblance of hope and they couldn't help but smile at each other. The boy leaned over to hug his father and, swiftly certain, replied,
"Yeah, I'm sure they'll come soon." Now with less-heavy hearts, the man laughed and patted his son's curly locks.
"Enough about me, now, and enough about work - tell me how you've really been," he insisted brightly. The blond straightened and enthusiastically proceeded,
"My friend, Hana - you know, I told her about you, she was a photographer that went to France - she's back now! It's totally great to have her around. We went out drinking the other night, too, which was lots of fun. She doesn't really work next to me and Gou, but whatever - her work kind of coincides with ours a lot, so it's okay." A fine plum shimmer flushed his cheeks and his father observantly perked up. "And, well," he muttered in response to his father's expectant look, "last night I went on this really great date with this guy. Also - um, he's really great, he's not like the others. I mean, I know it was only one date, but he's like, a lawyer, and he's got a really good sense of right and wrong, and I dunno - I just like him a lot so far." Ken nodded understandingly.
"Well, be careful - don't want my princess getting too hurt." Nagisa rolled his eyes.
"I'll be fine, Daddy - besides, shouldn't you stop calling me princess? I'm not like, seven anymore." But the colonel shook his head as indignantly as his son spoke.
"If I didn't fight for my princess, I wouldn't have gone at all," he insisted, great dignity steeling itself in his voice. The younger man didn't let on that it pleased him still, as it had when he was a child.
Nagisa left a few hours later, relatively light-hearted. He had successfully avoided the topic of home life yet again. His mother, Kathy, had met Nathan ten years prior and their relationship progressed much more quickly than anyone had anticipated. The twins Maki and Rika, at that point both seventeen, had fallen in love with the idea of father to protect them from big, bad boys - a man who'd defend their innocence - and took to calling him "Dad" in the span of six months. The eldest, Emi, already having graduated from secondary school, never felt quite that close, but affectionately referred to him as "Nate". Nagisa himself had been open at first, but after one too many years of being told to man up, he froze in a passively frigid state, avoiding anything to do with him like he would the plague.
These thoughts clouded his cleared day as he proceeded jogging down a miscellaneous path rather than retracing his steps home. His eyes slipped like a raindrop to his feet, his troubled thoughts simmering around like a mist in the morning. He fathomed his fogged, dreamy mind wouldn't have noticed anyone other than those in his thoughts even if they hit him head on.
Of course, he'd been wrong about that.
Headfirst, he hurled himself into a solid, lean figure's chest and bounced right off, tripping away with a hand on his head. A set of glasses clattered on the ground beside him and a phone curled off into the grass by the creek bed. Nagisa stumbled up to right himself and instantaneously spouted, "Bloody fuck - Jesus, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention -"
"No, no, it was entirely my fault, I shouldn't have been staring at my phone -" They looked up to ensure the other's well-being, and even through unfocused, dewy eyes they recognized one another on the spot, their dreams and thoughts having been decorated with one another since the cover of the night. The blond snatched up the red glasses from the asphalt.
"Rei!" he exclaimed vivaciously, honeyed smile matching the sun like pure beauty. The man picked up his phone and grinned happily at the smaller man.
"Nagisa," he acknowledged, earnestness filling his voice, "what brings you here? Or," he paused, examining his attire and proceeded, "well, I suppose you're out jogging, aren't you? That was obvious, but um... Yes, hello." The blond's laugh twinkled through the air.
"Yeah, I jog out here when I have the day off. I didn't expect - well, you said you were in track, so I guess it makes sense." The brunet perked up hopefully.
"I was actually about to text you," he admitted sheepishly. "I wanted to know when I could see you again - but I guess we just answered that one." He shifted awkwardly, appearing as though he couldn't quite figure out what to say next. Nagisa mercifully took over and stated, "Well, we're both here, anyways - mind if I tag along wherever you're headed? I was just kind of wandering." Relieved, Rei gave a vigorous nod to demonstrate his utmost agreement.
"Certainly - I just do laps around the pond, though. Nothing really extravagant." The two of them fell into an easy jog together, without quite realizing they'd done it, proceeding in the direction from which Nagisa came.
"That's no short run," he huffed in response, thinking out the route in his head. They were on the west side of the pond now, though many yards up from it, beside the creek that ran into it. He assumed they'd turn back around on the other side of the pedestrian bridge, passing the picnic and children's area on the way, before coming up on the east edge of the pond. It was almost a kilometer all around, intermittently dotted with fountains and water fowl, but including the length they'd have to go to reach the bridge again on the opposite side, the entire path would be nearly two and a half kilometers - and it sounded as if Rei ran around it more than once. "You must be pretty dedicated," he commented.
"You're familiar with the area, then?" the taller man responded, glancing down at his companion. "It's one of my favorite places."
"Mine too!" Nagisa agreed delightedly. "I really love that place where the hill kind of slopes into the pond - you know, that area right before the sidewalk starts? There's this really weird maple tree there that's shaped all funny with a bench just right under it and oh - I just remembered, around this time, it gets really pretty and red and orange, like fire, but it's like, not." The brunet grinned at his enthusiasm.
"Yeah, I know where that is, but my favorite place is the bridge - when I first moved here, I used to toss breadcrumbs at the birds. Kind of silly, but even now, I love thinking there." As he spoke, they arrived to its edge and the man slowed, coming to a full stop at the edge. Nagisa's brows furrowed slightly.
"Why? I mean, like really - throwing crumbs to thinking deeply is kind of a jump. What makes you like to think so much here?" he inquired curiously, peering over Rei's shoulder at the gently flowing water below. The taller man leaned over the railing fondly, regarding the smaller man gently.
"That's a good question. I suppose feeding the ducks always made me feel better - like I was helping something at least. But - well, it sounds stupid out loud, but I always felt like the water was mirroring my thoughts. It would help me fix them up to run straight and clean." The blond observed the bridge, attempting to see it in a new light. It was dusted with brown and yellow leaves from the surrounding trees and the ivory paint was beginning to chip and peel at the edges. The sprinting water below was streaked occasionally with mud. He wrinkled his eyebrows, picking through the image and trying to construct beauty in place of what he saw. Rei laughed sincerely at his concentration and commented, "It's fine if you don't really understand. It does tend to look run down in this kind of weather. Honestly, I like it best in summer - those willows over there," he remarked, pointing off to the side while Nagisa approached and relaxed beside him, "they're really a splendid, rich green around that time. And the water is cleaner with less leaves and rain. And it's just - it's nice." The blond glanced at the smooth arch of the bridge and details in the railings, picturing it with ease when his companion's sweet, low murmur described it. He leaned pleasantly against Rei's arm.
"I get it," he replied comprehensively. "Plus this old bridge is kind of like, Victorian-looking. It must be really beautiful." Without thinking, he chuckled and remarked, "You're surprisingly romantic, huh?" Simultaneously they pulled away from the edge and the taller man rolled his eyes.
"Hardly!" he exclaimed incredulously. "People always say I'm the most logical person they've met." They continued past the bridge and trotted toward the south end of the park, but stubbornly, Nagisa persisted, "I don't believe it!" Rei grinned easily and rolled his eyes. "I can't exactly call you logical, either," he laughed.
"Oh, really now?" The brunet's question humorously invited an explanation.
"Well, for example, you wouldn't really say 'I'm not romantic' to someone you've been flirting with," he pointed out, eyes trained on his beaded face. The working flush grew into an embarrassed blush and he muttered some sort of scolding to himself.
"Sorry," he backtracked abashedly. "I don't mean to sound uninterested or prudish. I really am." The blond made a funny face at the comment and he hustled to correct himself. "Interested. I really am interested. Not prudish." But the younger man's laugh bubbled softly as a brook in place of the stream they left behind and Rei flowed back into a wondrous ease.
After jogging past the children's park, the pond came into view, sparkling with the light of a high noon sun. Across the way, they could see couples, parents, children, and simple people out and about to enjoy what could easily be the last of the sunlight for the year. Birdsong hummed through the air, accompanied by the clash of joyously barking dogs throughout; it was the image of peace.
"Look, Rei!" Nagisa cried happily, pointing rapidly at an oddly squat and spread out tree halfway around. "That's the tree I was talking about!" He perked up and with senselessly renewed energy dashed all the way around the shore in eager anticipation of sharing something precious with the man at his side. In spite of his longer legs, Rei fell behind his companion's ceaseless strides and arrived panting at its roots as Nagisa scrambled against the trunk, seeking purchase in its nooks and crannies.
"Nagisa," the brunet exclaimed quizzically, "what on earth are you doing?"
"I'm climbing!" he explained, gesturing toward the tree for pointless emphasis. "I used to do this all the time when I got here for uni, but I haven't been for forever!" He grappled around the base, standing on his toes in an attempt to reach the hollow where the branches spread out to tickle the sky. It had been much easier with his roommate's assistance. "Come help me up," he requested offhandedly. Hesitantly, Rei asked, "You're sure we're allowed?"
"Yeah," he replied easily, still struggling up. He glanced back playfully. "But then again, I've also never been caught." Despite being entirely scandalized, the brunet came up behind him and blundered around with his hands a moment, uncertainly hovering near Nagisa's hips. He muttered to himself a few times, as though questioning how best to lift him, before decidedly settling on snatching him up at the waist and boosting him several inches off of the ground. The blond brushed his fingers against the older man's before reaching his hand up into the branches and hauling himself up a thick stick, inching over slightly to make room for the other. With a deep huff, Rei dragged his body to sit alongside the blond. Through the vibrant leaves, dusted in hues of toasted ambers and malleable golds, the turquoise sky shone hard like a gem. A breeze whispered to the trees, stirring the hot bronze fronds through the cold depth of the air.
"This is why I love it," he murmured, casting his gaze over the sidewalk. Under the metallic canopy, they were invisible, to be kept a sweet secret among the quietly dancing leaves. He swung a leg over and straddled the branch, beckoning the brunet closer until their foreheads tapped together, the champagne locks twining with the royal blue. In his ear, the little one hummed, "'Cause no one can see us."
Nagisa was the first to lean in, his softly pliable lips tugging at the edge of Rei's open mouth. He left a trail of butterfly touches, begging to be reciprocated and the older man hardly stood a chance - resistance was entirely futile. The following kisses were decorated with the softest notion of intimacy, hushed by the whisper of the wind through the leaves. They held each other comfortably, the strands of one another's hair brushing up against their cheeks, their little beads of sweat tickling their skin and mingling with the damp dribble of their lips. The blond whimpered silkily into the embrace when Rei stroked the hair away from his neck, leaving trails of dusty warmth wherever they graced. The touch was so compassionate; the two fit snugly against each other. They were sipping wetly at one another, neither one quite willing to enter the other, contenting themselves with the mild, warm vibrations from hums of pleasure. They let go simultaneously and, lips still grinding on one another's, Nagisa murmured, "Not romantic, huh?" Rei's chuckle brushed against the blond's mouth so beautifully and, hushed, he whispered back, "It's your fault, though." Yet even so, under the azure sky drifting though the gold leaves, they were both thrilled and delighted at this first intimation of affection.