Jumping Off a Cliff

by StarvingLunatic

Alex is going through the worst rut of her life and Kara shows up to help. Kara manages to make things better at first. When Alex's mind clears, she thinks she's done the worst thing imaginable and Kara has to convince her otherwise. It might be more difficult than the Girl of Steel expected. Omegaverse. G!P/futa warning.

2. The Plunge

I don't own these characters; DC does.

A/N: so, I decided to continue the story. I have two more chapters planned after this one, but I haven't started writing them yet. Reminder this is an A/B/O story.

Thanks to my two betas: Kylie and TBev.

Public Service Announcement: first, there's no Vasquez in this chapter. She's mentioned, but doesn't show up. Second, there's a lot more storyline here and a lot less sex than the first chapter. Third, I have no idea where this story would fit in the show's timeline, so let's just say it's after season 1, but before season 2 and Kara never found He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Please, enjoy.

2: The Plunge

A week had past since Alex's rut and she felt like the haze of desire had finally lifted from her entire form. Any other time, that would have been a blessing, but it allowed for something substantially heavier to settle on her already weighted shoulders. It gnawed at her, pushed her deeper into herself than ever before. There were precious moments she feared she could be lost in a world of darkness, buried in a void within her own soul, and then she would see the sun in the form of Kara's smile. Somehow, even that light could be devoured by the thing inside of her, the black hole threatening to destroy every bit of her as it reminded her how horrible she truly was and would always be.

"Alex, you okay?" The sound of Kara's voice jolted Alex out of her own head.

Alex flinched and blinked. "Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine." That sounded jumpy, even to her own ears. It did not help that Kara could hear her heartbeat, which refused to go at its usual rhythm no matter how much she tried to will it so.

Kara looked at her with a little pout, possibly disappointed in the obvious lie. "You wanna watch something else? You usually like catching up on Grey's Anatomy and pointing out everything inaccurate with it or if they did a good job with something."

Alex glanced at the television. Was that what they were watching? She was not sure she paid enough attention to anything since she came in. It had been that way for the past few days. Her thoughts consumed her, haunted her, surrounded and lay siege to her. Was she doing something wrong? Had she taken advantage of Kara? Kara could be confused about the way she felt about Alex.

Kara sighed and plucked at her Batman, of all things, t-shirt. They were both in pajamas, but Alex was not sure if she would spend the night. She had not been able to collect herself to do so in the past few days, even though Kara seemed to want her to do so. "Alex, do you not want to do this?"

"Watch Grey's Anatomy? This was my pick." At least Alex thought this was her pick. She liked the drama and medical procedure and it had just enough soap opera romance to keep Kara's attention.

Kara leveled a dull look at her. "No, not watch Grey's Anatomy. I mean, this." She motioned between them. "Us." Her voice cracked a little.

Alex blinked again and her stomach dropped into an abyss. Oh. Kara did not want to do this. So, she had taken advantage of Kara and Kara realized it now. Of course Kara realized it. Kara was beyond intelligent. Hell, she came from a race of super intelligent beings. Why would Kara want to be with her? This was wrong. Kara knew it was wrong.

"If you don't want this, Alex, that's fine. I'm happy to just be around you," Kara said with a strained smile that did not quite reach her beautiful blue eyes, which glistened a little.

Alex's mind whirled and she shook her head slightly. "I'm sorry, what? If I don't want this?" Was Kara trying to put this on her?

Kara chewed her bottom lip a little and looked so cute, but distressed. "It's just… You've been spacey, mentally and physically." She motioned to the amount of couch between them.

Alex was practically on the other end of the sofa. They had never had so much space between them when they were alone, except for recently. She had done that, not just now, but the past few days. She had sat down completely opposite Kara when they agreed to watch television. It was supposed to be sisters' night. Their first since before her rut and all she could think about was how she had taken advantage of Kara. And isn't it weird to have a sisters' night after what we did?

"Like I said, I'm happy to just be around you. I don't know if my mating secretions will stop, but it should be on pause for a little while at least," Kara continued on.

"Kara, what do you want? Do you want this?" Alex inquired, surprised her voice held out enough to ask the question. She swallowed, throat tight. An arctic chill ran through her body as she considered Kara's answer and Kara's thoughts. How would she be able to live with herself if Kara felt like she had taken advantage of Kara, especially knowing she was Kara's first? Seppuku might be my only answer eventually.

Blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears and Alex felt like the greatest asshole of all time. How dare she hurt sunshine personified? Her mother was right to lock her away in her own room when she presented. She should have left well enough alone.

"I want you to be okay with this. If you're not, I'm fine with just being around you. I was happy with how we were before. Sure, my body was a little crazy, but I'm sure we can do something about that. You're smart. You can fix me!" Kara looked a little too bright, her hope a little too forced.

Alex's brow furrowed at those words. "Fix you? There's nothing wrong with you! It's me. I'm the broken one. I took advantage of you." She had always been the broken one and now she had infected Kara with her loathsomeness. I hope you're proud of yourself. The words were spat in her own head.

Kara's face scrunched up and she shifted on the sofa, gripping the top of the couch. "You took advantage of me? Do you still think that?" Blonde waves sparkled as she shook her head. "Alex, I wanted to be with you. I've been…" She groaned as she glared at the ceiling for a long moment. "I've been sex-pollening you for years! I mean, I don't think you understand what that means and I don't know enough about human sex stuff to give you a proper equivalent. But, come on, mates." Kara motioned between them with one hand. "Kryptonian bond-mates and Earth mate-mates."

Alex gnawed on the corner of her bottom lip. "Are you sure this is what you want?" She could not imagine any world where someone like Kara wanted someone like her. Why would the sun want to be near a black hole?

Kara leaned forward, pressing her palms against the cushion between them. "Yes. I want to be with you. I want to date you. I want to be your mate. I don't know how else to put it. It just seems like you don't want that."

"No, I do!" Alex said much too quickly. She took a breath, but it did nothing to settle her. It was like butterflies lived in her stomach and chest now. Could Kara hear them fluttering about, choking her? "I do. I just want to make sure it's what you want. You're not doing this because of me and my rut or even because of the sex pollen."

"No! If anything, I started…" Kara groaned, hitting her head against the top of the sofa. "Do we have to call it pollen? I'm not a plant." She pouted, bottom lip poked out and everything.

Alex shrugged. "You go through photosynthesis and you're secreting a fine powder meant to cause fertilization. It's pollen. The only difference here is that you're a female pollinating."

Kara's mouth twisted up. "It's not pollen, even though that was a really good description of it. But, it tends to start because we're around a person who stimulates us in several different ways and the combination starts a chemical reaction inside of us. You've always been kind to me and you're just so amazing." She sighed and smiled.

Alex sat up a little taller without even thinking about it. Pride never failed to fill her whenever Kara complimented her. She wanted to be good for Kara, even if they were not in a romantic relationship. She wanted to make sure Kara was protected and loved and could live the best life she could on Earth.

"Okay, so I caused the pollen, not the pollen causing you to want me?" Alex asked.

"No, the pollen is supposed to communicate to you that I want you and tell you that you've started this change in me. Part of it, yes, is trying to entice you into being with me. But, if you didn't feel the same way, if I didn't cause something to stir in you, the pollen shouldn't even register to you," Kara reminded her.

Alex blew out a breath. That pollen would be the thing to drive her out of her mind. The pollen was not necessary. Alex was not sure when it happened, but she was so deep in love with Kara, she would not be surprised if she had hearts in her eyes whenever she looked at Kara. The pollen only made her hormones more impossible when her rut came into play.

Kara threw out her hands, mistaking Alex's silence for something else. "But, I'm not saying the pollen takes away your free will or anything!" Her shoulders slumped in defeat. "You don't want me, do you?"

Alex moved, hating the disappointed moue on Kara's face. She put her hand on Kara's bare knee, not too sure if this was a good hug moment. The simple contact did some many things for her, though. It halted the abyss swallowing her whole and let some light in. Kara looked at her with big, wet blue eyes.

"Of course I want you! I've wanted you for so long, but I don't want mess things up. I don't want to mess you up. I'm supposed to look out for you," Alex replied.

"You do look out for me. Why do you think if we do this you wouldn't be looking out for me? You're not taking advantage of me. I'm not the same scared, naive thirteen year old who landed on a strange planet. I know a few things, you know?" Kara smiled at her.

Alex tried to smile, but it would not come. Deep down, she knew Kara was right. But, it was hard to get over years of programing, years of convincing herself it was wrong to feel this way. Not to mention, the years of convincing herself this would never happen. And, the icing on the struggle-cake was her own demons, which would always claw at her soul.

Kara fiddled with her fingers. "You think I'm some naive kid still?"

"It's not that. You're right. You're right."

"So… We're a couple still? Like eventually gonna be mates?" Kara's smile beamed so brightly Alex felt the urge to look away, but knew that would not make things any better.

"Yes," Alex answered. That was what she wanted. She loved Kara with all her heart, but this still felt wrong for some reason. She had to do something about this or she would go out of her mind and hurt Kara in the process.

"Then… can we cuddle like we usually do?" Kara asked.

Alex sighed like this was so great burden, but opened her arms. Kara was in her grip before she even realized the blond moved. As soon as Kara settled against her, Alex felt part of her calm down, but her mind continued to whirl and another part of her buzzed with quivering, nervous energy. This felt so right, but so wrong at the same time. She did not know how to deal with it, but she needed to learn how.

"You want to stay the night?" Kara asked as the episode of Grey's Anatomy finished.

Alex's stomach dropped into her feet. She would love nothing more than to stay the night, but a dark dread clutched her entire body. It was one thing to have her rut clouding her mind as she slept next to Kara, it was another thing to do it with simple couple expectations between them.

"It's all right if you don't," Kara said, her voice soft. "I just want you to know whenever you're ready for it, my bed is open to you and it could just be for sleep. No rush for anything."

Alex could only nod. Kara could sense her reluctance, but she warned Kara going in that she needed time to adjust. It was nice of Kara to acknowledge and give her that time.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara sighed as Alex left her apartment for the night. It was odd to go from the two days they had nonstop sex to now barely touching. She understood Alex needed time to adjust and she refused to push, especially knowing Alex had almost died from the idea of them when she was a teenager. Still, it was hard for her, too.

With Alex acknowledging their bond, Kara was ready for it all, more than happy to give herself to Alex and then build a mate relationship. She had pined for Alex for years, after all. But, her love for Alex and her care and worry over Alex's wellbeing was more than enough for her to wait.

"I just hope I don't have to wait too long," Kara said as she went to clean up after them. There was not much to pick up, as Alex never left without clearing up anything around her. She was not sure if Alex did that from her DEO training or it was something she picked up in college. She was not like that as a teen. No, Alex was not messy, but she would not tidy up like she did now.

She shook the thoughts away. She would let Alex consume her if she let her mind wander and she was not in the mood for that. As she climbed into bed, she thought about what she might be able to do to help Alex get comfortable with the idea of them and for Alex to understand she wanted Alex in every way possible.

"What if I got her a present?" Kara rubbed her chin, already thinking about the things she could buy for Alex. None of them were romantic. "Is Alex even a romantic type?"

Going through her memories, Kara could not think of any time Alex showed an inkling of being romantic. Alex barely talked about being with anyone or in a relationship. But, what if Alex was not romantic because she not particularly attached to her partners? After all, Alex was affected by Kara. She had just fought it, fought them being mates because she thought it was wrong.

"We are not wrong," Kara said, grabbing her laptop with the hope of finding a gift. The first things she looked at were bracelets. She quickly clicked away from those. "No, no, no. It's way too soon to think about bonding bracelets. Alex can barely touch me right now."

She wanted to get Alex something to remind Alex how close they were, but also something that allowed Alex to relax about them a little. Jewelry would not cut it. For a moment, she played with the idea of buying Alex chemicals. No, that was not very romantic, but Alex would love it. And, it was from that thought that it hit her. She knew exactly what she wanted to give Alex.

With that in mind, she went to sleep with a smile on her face, distantly listening to Alex's heartbeat. It sounded as nervous as before. One day, she hoped she could rest of her head on Alex's chest and listen to a calm heartbeat and let it soothe her to sleep, like when they were teenagers or before they slept together.

The next day, Kara gathered the data she wanted, put it on a flash drive, and then rushed to Alex, all on her lunch break. It was hard to fight down her giddiness, feeling like she had the perfect present. Alex was staring down her microscope and jotting down notes without looking at her notepad. The sight made Kara's heart melt as it reminded her of teenage Alex. When they were younger, Alex would do her homework while listening to music, watching television, and reading a book. She was a master at dividing her attention.

"Hey, Alex," Kara said, in her Supergirl uniform.

Alex did not seem surprised by her presence, which did not shock Kara. In fact, it made Kara feel a little light inside. If Alex could sense her presence, it meant they were linked, they had a bond. It could live and grow as long as Alex allowed it to do so.

"Kara, what are you doing here?" Alex asked.

Kara smiled. "I have a gift for you and I was hoping we could grab lunch." Lunch was always a good thing to her and she would love to go on something like a date with Alex.

"Lunch?" Alex glanced over at the clock. "Oh, wow. I didn't realize it was so late."

"Yeah, so lunch?" Kara asked again with a grin and a bounce in her step.

Alex groaned and shook her head. "No, I'm on the brink of a breakthrough, Kara. Sorry."

Kara pouted before she realized it, but when she did realize it, she put on her best pout. Yes, she would be that girlfriend. She was already that sister.

"Aw, don't pout like that. I've really got a lot of work to do," Alex replied, looking away.

"But, I brought you a gift and I want to take you on a date," Kara said.

Alex went stiff at that and Kara could hear the spike in her heartbeat. Why did she have that reaction? Just because Kara used the word date? We have a really long way to go if the word "date" is too much for her.

"Kara, you didn't have to get me a gift," Alex said.

Kara smiled and reached for Alex, grabbing her hand. Alex pulled back, but only a little. There was no one in the lab and she left her fingertips in Kara's grip. It was a small thing, but it was enough for now.

"I wanted to get you something you'd like, so I got you this." Kara held up the flash drive.

Alex's brow furrowed. "What's this?"

"You'll see." Kara bounced on her heels again. She knew Alex would love it, as it was a detailed catalogue of Kryptonian biology. Yes, Alex was already an expert, but there were things on there she did not know, including Kryptonian mating secretions. "So, about lunch?" She bounced even more.

Alex sighed. "I really don't have time. I'm sorry."

"Is it because I called it a date?" Kara asked.

"No!" Alex replied way too quickly for that to be the truth. "I just have a lot of work to do here." She made it a point to look around the lab.

Kara nodded. Don't push. Give her time. "Okay. Um… can we get lunch sometime this week, though? It'll be fun. You can watch me eat all the sticky buns at Noonan's."

Alex chuckled. "Sounds like an average day for us, then."

Kara grinned. "That's what'll make it awesome." She needed Alex to understand and see their dates could be like their normal days. There was nothing to fear from them going on a date, nothing to fear from them being in a bonding relationship. They were practically already there!

Alex gave her a small smile. "Okay, but not today. I have to get this work done."

Kara accepted that, even though she could tell Alex was not being entirely truthful. The work could probably wait, but Alex used it as an excuse. Kara felt hope, though. Alex agreed to go out with her sometime soon and understood it to be a date. This could help Alex get more comfortable with the idea of them. She would take it.

-8-8-8-8-

A day after Kara visited Alex at work, Alex found herself out for lunch. She tapped her fingers against the table in the back of the cafe. This felt like a bad idea and the low murmuring from the scattered patrons did nothing to drown out the feeling. Besides, it was the only idea she had. Well, there was also the idea of talking to Clark, but she was not his biggest fan and she worried he might punch her into the sun if he even suspected she touched his cousin an unholy manner. She did not have long to fret over it as Lucy flopped into the seat in front of her.

"I want to say this is a surprise, but lunch as a thanks really isn't and this cafe is cute," Lucy said with a smile, leaning forward onto the polished black table.

Alex arched an eyebrow. "A thanks?"

"Yes, a thanks. I called Kara, after all." Lucy sat up straight, utterly proud of herself.

Alex frowned. Yes, she knew Lucy called Kara. What she did not know was the reasoning behind it. Had Lucy noticed her feelings for Kara? She felt like she had gotten quite good at hiding it. Kara never noticed. Her mother never said anything about it, even stopped giving her suspicious glances after a while. Everyone who had ever met them thought they were the closest of sisters. So, how did Lucy know?

Lucy studied her and rubbed her palms together briefly. "This is not a 'thank you' lunch. Fine, can we still get lunch?"

Alex waved the question off. She did not care if Lucy got everything on the menu as long as she answered some questions. "How do you even know?"

"That it's not a 'thank you' lunch? Your face is way too scrunched up by my suggestion of this being thanks for it to be thanks. You can't be looking for pointers from me. I mean, I'm not sure how aliens work, but I feel like Kara is not an omega," Lucy replied.

Alex blinked. It had never occurred to her that Kara might be an omega, but the concept made her twitch. She fought the urge to cross her legs and kept herself calm. Stop being gross. Now was not the time to get lost in silly fantasies and it had little to do with being in a public place and not wanting to get a boner in front of Lane. It was more to do with the idea that she still felt wrong for fantasizing about Kara. She was not supposed to think about Kara in anything beyond a PG manner.

Lucy tilted her head. "That's not what you're looking for either. I think we should order lunch and then we can talk."

Alex sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Yeah, let's do that." She would need something in her stomach to have this discussion. Beyond how Lucy knew to direct Kara toward her, Alex wanted advice. Lucy did not seem grossed out about her and Kara, so maybe she could help her deal with the idea of being a couple with Kara and help her understand why she did not have a problem with it. Lucy should have, in theory, been utterly disgusted by her.

Lucy waved the waiter over. They ordered drinks. Alex resisted the urge to get hard liquor, but some vodka in her strawberry lemonade was tempting. It just would not do well to drink in front of a higher ranking officer. They studied the menus as they waited for their drinks, but Alex could almost hear the wheels in Lucy's head turning. Alex found she would rather be under heavy fire than sitting across from Lucy all of a sudden.

"You know, I just remembered I have a—" Alex did not even get a chance to get it out and she barely moved from the seat.

Lucy pinned Alex with the hardest look she had ever seen. In fact, Lucy could give her mother lessons in how to glare at her. Alex could not move, could only sit there, practically at attention. Lucy chuckled a bit.

"I hope that's not why you and Vas get along," Lucy said.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"I give her that look and she freezes just like you did."

"Well, to be fair, that look is fucking terrifying." Alex would bet money that look got Vasquez going.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Considering the people and things I've seen you stare down, I can't believe you actually think that. Now, Danvers, you called me here for a reason. What's the problem? I figured everything would be good with you. Vas saw you actually smiling at work a few days ago."

That was undoubtedly before she came to her senses. She had been on a high from sleeping with Kara through her rut for a few days, but like all highs, eventually she came down. She crashed really. Crashed, burned, and created a crater, but she could not show that. She did not want to worry Kara, but obviously she had not been doing the best job at hiding her concern.

"Did you know?" Alex asked as calm and composed as she could manage. She was pleased that she sounded normal, unaffected. Too bad they both knew that was a lie.

"You need to be a little more specific. Did I know what?" Lucy replied with an arched eyebrow.

Alex took a breath. That was a good question. What did she want to know? "Did you know why my rut was so bad? Is that why you called Kara?" That seemed like a good start.

Lucy sat back in her chair and studied Alex for a second. "Do you mean did I know you had a thing for Kara or did I know Kara had a thing for you?"

Alex took a second, eyebrows curling up. "Um… that second one."

"That one was fairly easy. Even if I didn't have some working knowledge of…" Lucy glanced around. The cafe was not particularly busy, but she shook her head. "We'll call them puppies for now. Heaven knows they pout like puppies. Anyway, if I didn't have some knowledge of them, I wouldn't have been able to figure it out. She was the only one you were around and you were in a bad way and you kept admitting she was the only one you were around, denying you met someone who could've twisted you in knots like that."

Alex scowled. She was not too sure what she told Lucy during her rut. She was more concerned with trying not to go out of her mind.

"But, you know about puppies doing that thing?" Alex inquired. She had opened Kara's gift to her, but did not study much about the "sex pollen" thing. She was too nervous, so instead she enjoyed all of the other fascinating knowledge of Kryptonian biology that she did not know about. She would have to go back and study more, build on the research she had, and revamp her understanding of other things.

Lucy nodded and paused as their drinks were brought over. They ordered food. Alex was a little surprised when Lucy ordered fish and chips. Lucy smirked at her.

"It's a good thing you're not a spy. You wear your emotions right on your face. You think I don't eat fried foods or grease?" Lucy asked.

"Not with that figure," Alex replied, not bothering to correct Lucy about her emotions. When she wanted to, she was beyond hard to read. Stoic and aloof were her default settings.

Lucy laughed. "At least you're not all sexist about it. Alphas like to assume omegas don't eat and they're always on a diet or something."

Alex shook her head. "No. I'm just not sure when you would get time to workout, so I figured you must just eat well." Lucy being an assistant director at the DEO meant a lot of paperwork and arguing with Washington idiots. It did not lend much time to exercising, unless pacing counted.

"Most of the time, I do, but this seems like a conversation where I can treat myself. What about you? What healthy food are you about to eat? Beyond your working out, I know you have to eat healthy because you're a scientist."

Alex snorted. "I have to eat whatever I can. Food doesn't last for long around Kara. Whenever I go out, I treat myself because I don't have to share." She got a burger with the works and sweet potato fries. She would not be surprised if Kara suddenly appeared before her when the food showed up with a sweet smile, begging for fries.

"Oh, you almost had it. Sweet potato fries." Lucy shook her head as if she were disappointed.

"Kara inhales them, like potstickers. I haven't eaten more than one sweet potato fry in years. Years and I'm not speaking hyperbolically," Alex replied. And that was really the thing. She was not so hooked on sweet potato fries, but she would really like to be able to eat some without big blue eyes entreating her for the basket.

Lucy blew out a breath. "I can't even begin to imagine. Now, what were we talking about? Oh, the things that puppies do. I know about it because of Lois. She really needed to talk about it and Clark didn't exactly know what was going on at first."

Alex's brow furrowed. "What did she need to talk about?" And leave it to Clark to be useless in his girlfriend's time of need. Good thing he could save the world.

"Her heat. Now, you need to know, Lois and I aren't close like you and Kara where we have sister nights or talk all the time or things like that. We definitely don't talk about our sex lives. She likes to be the big sister and check in on if I'm in a relationship and we might even talk about dating, but never sex. When it started happening with Clark, her heats were crazy and she was really worried."

Alex could feel her face shift in realization. "Oh, she's an omega, too." That made sense to a degree, she supposed. She remembered how happy Kara was that their "parts matched." Kryptonians did not have the same variety as humans, so Clark, as a male Kryptonian would have a penis. Lois' personality always screamed alpha, but then again, so did Lucy's and Lucy had no problem letting people know she was an omega. Her mere existence fought against omega stereotypes.

"Yes, she's an omega, too. Funny enough, this never bothered our father, just like us being female never bothered him. You'd think a macho guy like him would care, but nope. Anyway, Lois' heats were crazy and she didn't understand why. She went to the doctor and everything, but the doctor said everything looked normal. She was a little scared and she wanted to know if I ever felt like that, like I was going to claw myself out of my skin during a heat," Lucy explained.

Alex knew that feeling all too well. So many of her ruts put her on the verge of tearing her flesh from her bone for some relief. The feeling was Kara, Kara calling out for her, Kara crying for her touch, and she had ignored it until last week.

"How did she figure out it was because of Clark?" Alex asked.

Lucy shook her head. "He figured it out. He was worried about her and thought it might be something to do with him and… being a puppy. Turns out it was him and being a puppy. She explained to me just so I didn't think there was something wrong with her, as I was trying to figure out why her heats were so strong all of a sudden. I also didn't want it to happen to me. A heat is already inconvenient without wondering if I'm going to throw myself out of window to make it stop."

Alex nodded. Most of her ruts were like that, even with suppressants. "So, you figured my rut was so bad because I was around a puppy?"

"Obviously. I'm surprised you didn't know since you are an expert on puppies."

Alex scratched her cheek. "Kara never told me about it and I've never really taken the time to study reproduction and such with the puppies." Would she ever stop being anxious about it?

"Too tempting?" Lucy's smirk was teasing, but still Alex shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Um… never mind." It was embarrassing for Lucy to know this much about her. They were not really friends. Why did I think this was a good idea? She moved, ready to stand and leave.

"Alex, wait." Lucy held up one hand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll take this seriously. I didn't know you were so sensitive about it, but I guess that explains why your rut was so bad in the first place. I would've thought you two would've gotten together a long time ago if you're both attracted to each other."

Alex sighed, sat back in her seat, and ran a hand through her hair. "It's not that simple."

Lucy's face scrunched up. "You mean it wasn't that simple."

"No. It isn't." She eyed the floor for a long moment. Life was never that simple, especially for her. There was always so much baggage. Why would Kara want to be with someone who has so many hang-ups?

Lucy frowned, causing a wrinkle to appear in the middle of her forehead. "You're still having issues? Why? I mean, you got the girl. This is usually the part where the hero rides off into the sunset or whatever."

"It's not that simple. I mean, we're sisters."

Lucy shook her head and her face remained slightly twisted. "Foster sisters. You're not related. Hell, Kara calls your mother by her first name."

Alex glanced around before leaning forward on her elbows. "You don't think it's weird?"

Lucy scoffed and brushed the question off. "I'm sure foster siblings fall for each other all the time. There's probably TV shows about it. Why would it be weird? It's no weirder than people who stay married to their high school sweethearts."

Alex squinted as she tried to figure how being foster siblings was anything like being high school sweethearts. As smart as she was, nothing came to mind. "I'm not following."

Lucy grabbed the salt and pepper shakers, as if she needed visuals for the explanation. "You and Kara met when you were teenagers, right?" She pushed the two shakers close together, but there was still a little space between them. "Your feelings probably started to develop then." She slowly pushed the two together until they touched. "And then before you knew it, you both fell in love. If she didn't live in the house with you, you definitely would've been high school crushes, maybe even high school sweethearts."

"But, we did grow up in the same house." One of the things that disturbed her the most was that she could develop these sorts of emotions for someone who lived in her house, someone she called "sister." Surely there was something wrong with her, even if she and Kara were not truly related.

Lucy shook her head. "No, you didn't." Before she got a chance to explain, the waiter returned with their food. She picked up a fry and nibbled while Alex seemed to sit in awe of her own food. "Alex, are you—?" She did not get a chance to finish the question.

Alex held up one finger. "Shh." She listened for the whizzing sound of Kara moving at super speed. She heard nothing. She was actually about to enjoy sweet potato french fries for the first time in who knew how long. She groaned as she bit into one.

"Is it really that good?" Lucy asked.

"Not really, but the satisfaction of being able to eat them is beyond anything." She preferred regular fries, but wanted to eat healthy, and she was certain Kara would appear before her if she had regular fries in front of her. Kara once showed up when she had a basket of steak cut fries with just the right seasonings while she was in another country. "Now, you were saying I didn't grow up in the same house as Kara, but I did."

Lucy actually blew a raspberry at that. "You didn't. I grew up in the same house as Lois. You were halfway grown up by the time Kara shows up. Again, with you two, it was like meeting in high school. It's not the same thing." She cut up bits of her fish.

"You just said Kara and I are closer than you and Lois."

"You are." Lucy shrugged, as if it was no big deal. "You're closer than a lot of siblings I know, but that doesn't mean anything. Lois and Clark are closer than some siblings I know. It just depends on what kind of couple you are and how you get along. Anyway, if you weren't foster sisters, again, you'd be each other's high school crushes. You make it seem like you probably would've gotten together if you weren't foster sisters."

Alex sighed and put ketchup and mayo on her burger. Again, she waited and listened. Kara did not show up. She might actually get to enjoy her meal without having to share. It was a rare moment indeed.

"Do you listen out for Kara at every meal?" Lucy asked with a craned eyebrow.

"Not every one. This one she might show up because she knows you and you know what she can do."

Lucy nodded. "And if she showed up, you'd just surrender your fries?"

"Of course." She had been trained to do it, even though she tended to do it to make Kara feel good or because she had no defense against Kara's pout.

Lucy clicked her tongue. "See, that's gross couple behavior, not sibling behavior. A proper older sibling either never surrenders food or at least makes the younger sibling work for it through insults, teasing, or tasks. Or you do it because your parents used to force you to get the younger kid to stop whining. The things you do for Kara always have a ring of girlfriend to it."

Alex's mouth twisted to the side. "I'm supposed to protect Kara in every way possible."

Lucy smiled. "I wish I had someone so devoted to me for so long."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She did not come here for abuse.

"It's a little funny to see and talk about. I mean, you don't even realize it at this point, do you? How did you even get to this point?" Lucy asked, her eyes full of wonder. Apparently, she was not teasing.

Taking a bite of her burger to stall at first, Alex moaned when the flavor danced on her tongue. It was so good and it was all hers. "I wasn't always like this with Kara. I mean, not with sharing the food and everything. When she first came, I was a little resentful. I felt like she was stealing my parents, my mother especially. And all I heard for a long time was how I needed to take care of Kara. It pissed me off for a hot minute."

"Selfish teenager mode." Lucy took a healthy bite of her fish and then shoved a couple of fries in her mouth to chase it down.

Alex nodded and let loose a long breath. "Yeah, but then I'd see her when she was sad and I couldn't help but hurt for her. I mean, I remember when my grandmother died and how hurt I was. She had lost an entire planet and the only family she had left, he left her with us. She didn't know us. Hell, she didn't even know this planet. It was all too easy to make her want to feel better."

A small smile lit up Lucy's face. "Plus, the puppy thing."

"Yes, there is the puppy factor, too. It was a little harder outside because I wanted to be a cool kid. It's hard to be a cool kid when you have the weird kid glued to your ass. For a while, I'd see or hear people making fun of her and I just let it happen, but each time, it twisted me up inside a little more, especially since I knew she could hear it. Like she knew they were being assholes to her and she knew I wasn't doing anything about it. I felt like an ass."

Lucy's smile grew. "You're a good person, Alex." She sounded a little surprised, but Alex decided to let it slide. They did not know each other too well and Lucy knew more about her badass side than anything else.

Alex waved that off. "I was a stupid teenager. One day, I just didn't like it anymore. I couldn't take it anymore. Kara was having a hard enough time as it was and she didn't have any friends beyond me and everyone was being mean to her. So, one day, this kid was bullying her…"

"You kicked him in the scrotum," Lucy guessed.

Alex chuckled. "Close. I wanted everyone to know I was really serious, so it was more of a punch."

Lucy tittered, eyes alight with amusement. "Nothing says leave my sister alone like a punch to the balls."

"I thought so."

"What got you to that point, though?"

Alex blew out a breath and ran her hand through her hair. "Beyond just not liking a bully, I heard every single day that I had to protect my sister."

"Who told you that?"

"My mother. Every moment she could, she told me I had to protect my sister. I had to watch out for my sister. I had to make sure my sister was okay." Alex's eyes drifted down to her burger and she ate some of it with the hope the sound of her chewing would drown out the sound of her mother in the back of her mind. She was such a disgrace for doing this. Kara was supposed to be her sister. You don't sleep with your sister.

Lucy scowled a little. "Those were the words she used every time she wanted you to look out for Kara?"

"Yes."

"Hmm… that's a little weird."

Alex shook her head. "I think my mother said it so much to make sure we never slipped in our stories. We had it hammered into our heads that we were sisters. She didn't want to take the chance we might give Kara away." Well, that was what she thought at first. After a while, she thought the constant reminder of being sisters was for something else and she refused to consider things beyond that most of the time.

Lucy tilted her head. "You're uncomfortable, aren't you?"

"What, right now?" Alex felt like she was pretty good considering she getting grilled by Lucy Lane.

"Well, yes, right now, but with Kara. You're so used to the sister role that was hammered into your head that you're uncomfortable now because that role changed."

Alex was silent for a moment. She was not sure if she was uncomfortable with the role changed. She was uncomfortable in general, but she always felt like that went with her own flaws. She never felt good enough and there were so many times she felt out of sorts just from existing.

"Is that what this is really about, Alex? Is that why you and Kara danced around each other instead of just going for it like your bodies were demanding?" Lucy asked.

"My hormones don't control me," Alex replied. She was always in control, not her rut, not her inner alpha, and definitely not her hormones.

Lucy pointed at her with her fork before using it to eat more of her meal. "No, they don't. You have excellent self-control, but isn't it also self-punishment to deny yourself someone you want, especially when that person wants you back?"

Alex frowned. "That person is my sister."

"Your foster sister and a… a puppy," Lucy replied.

"I didn't want to take advantage of her being a puppy. I still feel like I'm taking advantage of her being a puppy," Alex admitted.

Lucy scowled again and shook her head. "Okay, yes, she's a puppy, but not that much of a puppy. You can't try to protect her from life and you can't downplay her feelings, especially if she's doing that thing. Clark's head over heels for Lois and he said that's why his body reacted that way and made her body react that way. If she didn't feel as strongly for him, that thing wouldn't have affected her. Think about it, if they affected everyone, rather just the one person they really wanted, they'd have their offices following them around. Kara would have the whole damn staff at Noonan's following her around."

"But, it isn't fair. She was still new when she fell for me." She was Kara's first and Kara made it seem like she wanted her to be an only. Would Kara really accept that in the long run? Would anyone?

"Yeah, and she's not new now and still falling for you, just like you for her. She has feelings for you, Alex, real feelings that have nothing to with her being a puppy. She just shows them differently because she's a puppy. Do you have a problem with her being a puppy?"

Alex gave Lucy her own hard stare. "What? No! Of course not. That doesn't matter to me. What matters is that she's my sister and this was all new for her when she started doing that thing to me."

"Okay, again, she's not your sister. She's your foster sister and a puppy. Beyond that, has she dated before you?"

"Well, yeah." But, I was still her first. Part of her was horrified of this, but a much bigger part was proud and the memory of taking Kara's virginity made her twitch. Damn arrogant inner alpha.

"Then she's sampled the buffet and found out she still wants the first dish she had. Let it go. You're not protecting her by denying both of you. In fact, you might be killing yourself. I mean, I saw the amount of suppressants you took in that rut. I hate to think of what you've done on past ruts. This is what you both want. Why can't you just be happy?"

Alex sighed, gnawed her lip, and then decided to focus on her food for a moment, but even that tasted like ashes right now. Why could she not just be happy? Everything Lucy said was accurate. She and Kara were not actually sisters. Kara wanted her and had tried dating other people, but still wanted her. She wanted Kara. Beyond what her mother would think when she found out, this should be simple, but it was not.

"She wants to date," Alex found herself saying. In fact, she still owed Kara a lunch date and it should not feel as weird as it did. They had lunch probably hundreds of times together and nothing untoward happened. Why should this one be different? You know why.

Lucy gawked at her as if she was out of her mind. "Of course she wants to date. Kara looks at you like you hung the moon. Hell, you would hang the moon for her. Take the girl on a date, Alex. Spoil her like you do already. Spoil her the way you would if she was your girlfriend because she wants to be your girlfriend and more if things I didn't need to know from my sister are to be believed."

"Maybe I don't know how to be happy," Alex admitted in a mumble. Had she ever been happy? Not since her father died. She did not know how to grasp moments anymore, knowing how fleeting everything was.

Lucy's eyes softened. "Maybe you should try. Not just for yourself, but that little golden retriever puppy you've got."

Alex chuckled. "She is a little golden retriever!"

"That or a cocker spaniel. I think more of a retriever because Clark is definitely a black lab. But, my point is, you can both be happy. You would love to spoil her. You already do."

Alex smiled a little. She did like spoiling Kara for the most part. It started out as just a way to make Kara feel better after losing everything, but now it made her feel better. She liked being able to take care of Kara.

"You don't think it's a little creepy?" Alex asked.

Lucy sucked her teeth. "What? She's not your sister, Alex."

"Well, I mean, like what if she was? Would I still feel this way?"

Lucy snorted. "Probably not. If you grew up as sisters, Kara would be a pain in the ass baby sister and I say that as a pain in the ass baby sister. The things you think are adorable turn into screaming I'm sick of you every other day, especially like this thing with food. If you had to give Kara your food from when she was a toddler, you'd have ripped her hair out at this point. Plus, again, it's different because you two only met when you were teens. Knowing someone from when they're a baby gives you a lot more time to be annoyed with them. Last, Kara wouldn't be a puppy if you were actually sisters."

"Well, I don't love her because she's a puppy."

"No, you love her because she's adorable. This is just complicated because she's your foster sister, but I think that just speaks to how much you love her. You lived with her, put up with all of her little quirks and still thought she was adorable. Living with someone is a good way to drive you crazy, but it drove you closer. There's nothing wrong with that."

Alex sighed again, feeling like she had sighed her heart out recently. Logically, she understood there was nothing wrong with loving Kara, wanting Kara, but her stomach still felt funny about it. She could hear her mother at the back of her mind. She's your sister, Alex. She's your sister. Each time she heard that, even in her own head, she felt worse and worse about the situation.

"She's my sister," Alex muttered.

Lucy reached across the table, hand on Alex's. Alex gasped, not used to being touched by people unless she initiated the contact. Lucy clutched her hand.

"Alex, you have a chance at happiness right now. You have your mate standing before you. Don't let anything stand in the way of that. Yes, you have hang-ups about it. Everyone has hang-ups, but power through them and let yourself be happy. Beyond that, take that girl on a date. Have fun. It doesn't always have to be your cross to bear."

Alex massaged her temple with one hand. "I don't think I know how."

"Learn. None of us know how to be happy at first. It's just something you learn if you think it's something worth it. Kara's worth it, right?" Lucy's voice was so gentle. Alex had no defense against it.

"Of course." Kara was always worth everything.

"It's time you start opening up to her wants and needs, beyond the protector role you've given yourself. She's an adult and she knows what she wants. The thing that she does is just her body's way of reinforcing what she's already chosen and she's chosen you. The fact that you're affected by it just means you want her, too."

Again, that was very logical. "I guess I felt blindsided by that."

Lucy scoffed and pulled back. "Who wouldn't? It's a lot from what I understand. It has to be more for you guys because you're complicated in a way Lois and Clark never have been. But, your relationship is just as valid as theirs."

Alex nodded. "Thank you."

Lucy smirked and her eyes danced with mischief. "Thank me by letting me sit in on a sparring match between you and Vasquez."

Alex groaned. "You're still on this."

Lucy lit up. "Oh, I will never not be on this. I don't get enough chance to see her being all alpha-like. The very idea gives me shivers."

"Well, this is what happens when you're with an underling." From Alex's understanding, it was a little deeper than that, but she did not want to let Lucy know she knew. After all, she was very aware how embarrassing it could be for not-friends to know things even those closest to her did not know.

Rolling her eyes, Lucy scoffed. "Yeah, that's why. Anyway, you know that every relationship is different and they have obstacles to overcome. This is yours. Approach it with the same ferocity you do everything else that scares the shit out of everyone at the DEO."

Alex chuckled and sat up proud. "They are scared, aren't they?"

"Yes, which is why you have to do this. This is how you do everything. With that scary determination. I mean, you're a woman who stands up to angry puppies, fights them, and walks away."

Alex did not like to think about having faced down her fair share of aliens in the context Lucy put it because it led her to remembering one of those aliens was Kara's aunt. She had taken on Kara's family and then she had taken that from Kara. Yes, it was an accomplishment for a human to take on a Kryptonian and win, but it was another thing for a sister to take her foster sister's family from her.

"Hey, what happened? I thought this pep talk was going on good," Lucy said.

Alex shook her head. "It's fine. In fact, it's going so good, after this lunch, I'll call Kara to invite her out on a date."

"Yes, date the girl!" Lucy grinned. "Where are you going to take her?"

Alex sighed and rubbed her face. "I have no idea."

Lucy chuckled. "I have some ideas." Alex was glad one of them did. The thought of dating Kara, taking Kara on dates was beyond overwhelming.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara fidgeted in her seat while trying very hard to focus on her work. It was impossible. She was worried over Alex and Alex's mental state. She never knew Alex felt such anguish over her feelings until her rut passed. Kara was not too sure what the rut did to Alex, but she knew her mating secretions made it worse. What if Alex did not really want her, but could not help herself because of the rut? She was not entirely sure how her secretions could affect humans.

She was tempted to call Kal-El, but she was not sure if she wanted to talk to him about this issue. He was her younger cousin, after all, even if he was older than her now. There were still some things that were just a little weird, even for them. If they stayed on Krypton, he might have asked her questions about it, but even that would have been out of the ordinary as he would have had his father and her father to ask. She was not sure who else she could talk to about this, beyond the hologram of her mother anyway. That would be weird, but not as weird as talking-to Kal-El about this.

"Kiera," Miss Grant's voice traveled, reminding Kara she was at work and she needed to stop getting lost in her own head.

Kara did her job, but was lost in her head regardless. She did not want to take advantage of Alex or Alex's emotions toward her. She knew Alex would do anything to make her happy and she did not think accepting they were mates would be anything different. But, she feared Alex accepted not because she truly felt the same way, but because she wanted Kara to be happy.

So, the next free moment she had, Kara went to the DEO to question her mother's hologram. She paced in front of the hologram before she worked up the courage to even ask. It would be easier if the hologram did not look like her mother. Again, this was awkward. It would probably be easier if this was her actual mother. There was nothing to be embarrassed about for Kryptonians. Mating secretions were just a fact of life, but throwing in an earthling made it weird and talking to a hologram made it weirder because that was not her mother. The hologram was not alive, did not experience things Kryptonians did, could not speak to her on an emotional level.

"So, I'm trying to figure out if Kryptonian mating secretions can affect humans," Kara started.

"Kryptonian mating secretions should affect whoever the desired mate is. The Kryptonian body is made in such a way that it will learn the things to entice the desired mate regardless of species. The mating secretions are meant to get you noticed by your desired mate and get them to notice and acknowledge their affections for you."

Kara figured that was the case. "Can it take a long time to affect someone not Kryptonian?" Alex had resisted it for years, or so it seemed. Alex admitted that was not the case, but Kara could never be sure. Alex said a lot of things to make her feel better, after all.

"It is possible, but it should affect any desired mate the same. The body has specially made the hormone secretion tailored to the desired mate and have them notice your intentions and get them to notice their desire."

Kara nodded, even though her face twisted up in thought. "Yeah. What happens if I get my desired mate, but then lose her? Will I be able to get another mate?" Her body might have been satisfied, having a taste of Alex, and now she could work on trying to find someone else, someone who really wanted her rather than locking Alex to her if it was not what Alex wanted.

"What do you mean by lose? If you mate has died, it is possible to find another. Your body will not secrete forever, though. You would have to find your mate as the humans do."

That would not be so bad. She had found humans to date in the same way humans did. No, it was not satisfying, but maybe she could learn once she was able to get over Alex. "No, I don't mean dead." She did not even want to think about that with Alex. "Just like, my mate gave into the secretions and then left after or something."

"Your body will call to your mate until the secretions are used up."

Kara could already hear Alex referring to that as "menopause." She might keep that one to herself and hope it was not among the data she gave Alex as a gift. "How long would I have for that?" While she had been old enough to know about mating secretions, she had not been too interested in finding out about when the body stopped releasing the pheromones.

"At your current age, you should have at least twenty more years."

"Oh, Rao." Kara bit the corner of her bottom lip. That would not do. "Is there a way to turn it off?"

"I do not understand."

"You know, like, stop it?"

"No, except for death."

Kara winced. "Well, I don't want to die. I just don't want to hurt a person I love more than anything because of this."

"If you love this person and they love you, you have found your mate and the secretions have done their job. They should diminish on their own, but they will not go completely away until your body stops producing those hormones."

"Yeah, I know, but I'm worried the person only became my mate because of the secretions, you know?" She waved her cape around lazily with one hand, as if it would help.

"The secretions would not affect the person if they did not want to be your mate. This is how it works."

Kara groaned. "I know! I know!" She thought she knew, but Alex had a way of making her doubt everything she knew. By all accounts, Alex should be her mate. She knew she affected Alex, even when this first began and Alex fought it tooth and nail because she thought it was wrong, thought she was taking advantage of Kara. But, even after they got over that, Alex was distant and moody and apparently still thinking she took advantage of Kara. What if Kara took advantage of her? What of Alex did not want her, but found it impossible to resist the mating secretions? "What if the secretions are just too much to handle and that's why my mate wanted me? What if the effect has worn off?"

"It doesn't work like that."

"I know!" Kara rubbed her face and paced some more, keeping her cool enough not to stomp her foot and shake the building. She wished she had an actual person to talk this out with. I wish Mom was really here. "Wait, I could ask Lucy!" Lucy was the one who set the whole thing up and Lucy seemed to like her well enough, even though she had been enamored with James. "Thanks, Mom. Bye!" She was off, phone in hand.

"Kara, what's up?" Lucy greeted her with an almost unnoticeable pause in her voice, like she was suspicious.

"Remember when you called me to take care of Alex?"

"Of course I remember that. It happened last week, Kara."

Kara flew home. "Right, right, right. But, when you called me, it was because you knew, right?"

"I knew what?"

"You knew how we felt about each other."

Lucy laughed. "Oh, yeah. That was easy."

"Was it?" Kara had super powers and still could not tell after spending two days having sex with Alex. It was hard to figure out since they had also spent the last two days with Alex brooding and putting space between them in every way imaginable.

"Well, I know what you and your cousin do when you're around someone you love like that and I saw Alex's rut. It was the worst rut I've ever seen and she managed it like it wasn't the first time. A rut like that usually means you've run into your mate and your body is begging for that person. But, Alex openly admitted you were the only person she's been around. It had to be you. And, you were obviously doing that thing."

"Obvious to you, not Alex." Kara dropped onto her sofa, careful not to damage it.

Lucy clicked her tongue. "I knew the signs because Lois has called me in the past freaking out over it and then explained it to me, so I'd know she was all right. Alex didn't know it was a thing, so how would she know to look out for it? Why are you asking about this? Are you freaking out?"

Kara sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I just want to make sure I didn't pressure Alex into this."

"You didn't. Kara, she wants it. She wants you. She just needs time. You know what Alex needs, actually. So, just be there for her and little by little get her to open up to you."

Kara nodded, even though she was alone. Alex told her she needed time and she wanted to give it to her, but it was hard. "Are you sure I didn't force her?"

"No, you didn't. It'll be fine, Kara. You both need to just adjust to this new facet of your lives, but you'll be fine."

Kara blew out a breath and ran a hand through her hair. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. Just give her time and take some time yourself. You guys basically jumped into the pool at the deep end. It's okay. You just need time."

Kara's shoulders slumped. "You're good at this."

"I'm getting that feeling, yeah."

"I'm sorry if this is weird."

"It's not. I don't even think of you as the girl who tried to steal James from me anymore."

Kara yelped. "I didn't—" She sputtered, unable to get out a proper excuse.

"Calm down. You tried. It failed. But, I failed with him, too. It's over and we're all friends. Now, you give yourself time and you give Alex time. It'll be fine," Lucy all but promised.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Actually, no, mention something. Mention to Alex that she has a sparring session to schedule."

"Uh… Okay." Kara was not sure what that was about, but it seemed like a simple thing. They ended the call and Kara dropped her phone to the side as she fell over, curling into the sofa. Alex needed time. This was a huge change in their relationship… but not really. At least not to her. Alex was different, she knew that. So, yes, time.

How much time is this going to take, though? Alex was a tough nut, all the time. She could not remember a moment Alex did not make unnecessarily difficult in some manner. But, then again, she could not recall a time Alex did not make sure she was comfortable, make sure she felt wanted, and loved. In that instance, Alex was softie. So, yeah, maybe it would take time, but it would be worth it, especially if it gave Alex peace of mind. She was pulled from her thoughts as her phone buzzed. She fumbled with it when she saw who it was.

"Alex!" She squeaked.

"Hi, Kara. Did I catch you at a bad time?" Alex asked.

"No, no, no. I just came in. What's up?"

"I know I've been out of touch the last few days and I want to make it up to you."

Kara blinked and managed to keep a happy squeal in her throat. "Make it up to me? What's your plan?"

"Will you come over? Not right now, but in about an hour. Dress nice."

"You're not going to explain this, are you?"

"Nope." And Alex hung up.

Kara huffed, but she was curious what Alex was cooking. This could go one of two ways. It could be Alex finally deciding she could not deal with their relationship and was going to say so. Or Alex wanted to talk about their relationship to figure out what it was and how they could move forward. She hoped and suspected the latter since she was told to dress nice. Another excited squeal escaped her and she rushed to find something nice.

-8-8-8-8-

Date her, Alex said to herself over and over again to keep from flipping out and hyperventilating. She wanted this. She had wanted this for a long time and it was not a bad thing, regardless of what her mother made her think, regardless of what the world might think. She was not taking advantage of Kara. Kara was not her sister. Kara desired this as much as she did. So, she could not let her usual demons ruin things for her.

"You want this. It's not wrong. You want this. It's not wrong," Alex said, facing her bathroom mirror as she put on makeup. She wanted to look her best, wanted Kara to see she was trying, wanted Kara to understand she craved this now as she had during her rut, and long before.

The hot stone in her stomach made her want to reconsider. This was so wrong. Kara was her foster sister. No, no, no. She shook it away. They had a date. They would date. She would take Kara on dates.

"You might want to learn to cook then," Alex said to herself.

While she did things up and made her apartment nice for Kara, cooking was not her forte. She could make some things, but she wanted this to be perfect. So, she ordered out and set it up on the table. There were candles around the apartment and she went to light them after she was ready. She put on some soft jazz and waited. She did not have to wait long before there was a knock at the door. Taking a breath, she stepped to the door, grabbed the roses she had waiting, and opened the door.

Kara stood before her, looking beautiful, like someone otherworldly. An angel did not even cover it. A simple powder blue dress, highlighting her eyes, looked like the height of fashion. Everything about her was picture perfect and made Alex's heart skip a beat. Yeah, I'm all the way gone. We have to do this.

"Hey," Alex said, feeling lame before she even finished the short word, but also impressed she could speak with the sight of Kara before her.

"Hey," Kara said, her voice shy. She glanced away briefly and then gave Alex a small smile.

"Come in." Alex stepped to the side and swept her in with her free hand, trying her best not to feel awkward. It was hard and the more she tried the more awkward she felt. Her stomach flipped and she forced it to settle down. It would not help the evening if she threw up. "Oh, and these are for you." She held up the bouquet of roses, red and yellow.

"Oh, wow. They're lovely." Kara accepted the flowers and gave them a deep inhale. "They smell wonderful. I love them."

"I'm glad." It sounded trite, but she really was. She gave a nervous laugh. "I'm also a nervous. I've never done this before." She resisted the urge to wipe her palms on her dress.

Kara's brow furrowed. "Done what?"

"Set up a date." Alex motioned to her small dinette set, which was decked out with their meal and flickering candles. Shadows danced on the wall, beckoning them to their seats. Part of her way glad to have never done this before. It was nice to share this with Kara. Is this how Kara felt sharing herself with me? Alex felt like that was ridiculous thought. Giving up her virginity was nothing like never preparing a real date. Even though she knew Kryptonians had a different view on virginity than many human societies.

Kara smiled. "You're doing great so far. This looks really nice." She made her way to the table. "Um… can you put my flowers in some water for me?"

Alex nodded. "They came with a vase." She rushed to go get it and put the roses in the long, blue vase with some water. She hoped Kara appreciated the color scheme. She sat them on the counter next to the dinette set, so Kara could admire them if she felt like it.

"The vase is very pretty, too," Kara said, running a finger along the grooves of the swirling glass.

"Believe it or not, it's the Supergirl special at the flower shop I got this from. Wild, huh?"

Kara shrugged a little and scrunched her mouth up to the side in that cute way she always did. "So many places have Supergirl things. I feel like I should get a commission or this is copyright infringement or something."

"I think you'd have to copyright the House of El symbol first."

Kara pouted a little. "Can I do that? I feel like people would still put the symbol everywhere."

"Just use it to get free food like we both know you do."

Kara gasped, pretending to be offended. They sat. For a moment, Alex wondered if she should pull Kara's seat out, but Kara took care of that. Alex rubbed her palms together, wishing they would stop sweating. Kara smiled at her and Alex laughed like an idiot. Oh, god. This is going so wrong.

"Are you okay?" Kara asked, eyes glistening with concern.

Alex took a deep breath. "No, not really. Like I said, I'm nervous. We both know I don't really date. I've never actually had someone over for dinner except for you."

Kara smiled and now her eyes sparkled in the low light. She glowed like some ethereal being. "I don't mind that. This is really nice. The candles smell great and the food tastes good." To prove her point, she dug into her food, which was laid out on the plate in front of her. "This is so good. Is this from that restaurant over on fourth?"

"Yes. I wasn't sure if you liked them that much since you don't go there often, but I liked them."

"No, I love it, but they're so expensive and I already eat so much. This is a real treat." Kara took several forkfuls of diced chicken mixed with her rice and beans.

Alex smiled, too, and had some of her own food. They had done something like this a million times before, without the candles and fancy clothes, but this felt awkward. She did not understand why it felt like a first date between someone she did not know well. She knew Kara better than she knew herself.

"Is this weird to you?" Alex asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Well, it's weird you're in a dress," Kara remarked.

Alex chuckled and looked down at herself. She put on a dark blue cocktail dress. It was not standard for alphas to wear dresses, but it was not unheard of, especially for female alphas. She was definitely more comfortable in pants, but she was also more comfortable in her DEO clothes than anything else, so that did not say much. She was glad Kara appreciated the change.

"I wanted to wear something special for you," Alex said.

Kara beamed, shining so much brighter than the candles surrounding them. Her expression sparked a light in Alex's heart. She always liked to make Kara light up, but this was different. This was more than it had ever been.

"You look very nice. I'm glad you wanted to look special for me. This whole dinner thing is nice, too." Kara motioned around the table with her fork.

"So, you've said."

Kara laughed a little. "Okay, maybe I'm nervous, too. This is weird, but it's a good weird. It feels like a first date, but in a good way. I'm already looking forward to our next date."

Alex blinked. "So, you do want to date?" Yes, Kara had said as much, but it was still hard for her to believe. She did not understand why Kara would want her out of so many more worthwhile people.

"Of course I do. And I want to do the stuff we used to do, too. Well, a lot of the stuff we used to do could be considered dates, couldn't they?" Kara asked, finger rubbing her chin in thought for a moment.

"This is true."

"So, our sisters' night can become bonding night and it'll be the same format, but with a lot more cuddling and kissing, yeah?" Kara grinned.

Alex felt pride in her chest. Kara was beaming at the thought of kissing her. Maybe she had worried over nothing in thinking she took advantage of Kara. Maybe this dating thing could work. Maybe they could have a relationship outside of their sisterhood. It was not outrageous to think or yearn for. Now, say that about a thousand times, so you believe it.

"I think I'd like that," Alex replied and felt the tension drain out of her with that admission. Apparently, being honest with herself and Kara was the best way to feel better about them having a relationship. She would have to remember that.

"Oh, so is the next date my responsibility?" Kara asked, quite eager. It made Alex think of Lucy calling Kara a puppy. She could almost see Kara's tail wagging.

Alex took a sip of her wine. "If you want to. You're going to have work really hard to impress me." The alpha in her wanted to decline, but it was the modern world. Not to mention, Kara was not an alpha, omega, or even a beta. Gender roles did not apply to her.

Kara sat up straight. "I think I can handle it. After all, I handle Miss Grant everyday. You should be easy in comparison."

Alex chortled. "Compared to Miss Grant already? I must be so high maintenance."

Kara smiled, showing her teeth. "I say it with fondness, of course."

"I might have to watch you around Miss Grant. You might like that sort of thing. I don't go around sniffing people, but she definitely has the personality of an alpha."

It was this little bit of banter made their date easier, made their lives easier. Things became familiar again, light and comfortable. It was almost ordinary for them, including Alex having to surrender half her dinner because Kara was eyeing it like a pot of gold once she finished her food. Kara ate almost the whole strawberry cheesecake dessert, but she made sure Alex got a huge slice beforehand.

"It's so good," Kara moaned and groaned, as expected.

"Yes, it is." Alex shifted in her seat a little. One part of her was a little too enchanted with sounds coming from Kara over the dessert. She took a bite of her own cheesecake with the hopes of getting her mind off of those noises. She was more happy that Kara enjoyed it than she was to eat some of it, even though she knew Kara would love it.

Kara's eyes twinkled and she seemed more content than ever when they settled on the couch to watch a movie. This time there was no space between them, by Kara's choice. Kara snuggled against Alex and put Alex's arms around her. It was louder statement than any words. Kara wanted this, wanted them.

The knot in Alex's stomach eased quite a bit while another part of her was quite intrigued their sitting arrangement. Alex took a breath to keep her arousal down. She hoped Kara could not smell it. Look, I know the idea of sleeping with Kara is awesome and the fact that we've done it, so we know it's awesome doesn't mean we're ready for that, so calm the hell down. She had too much history and baggage to jump into bed with Kara.

"We should talk about this," Alex said. It had to be discussed, possibly several times for her. She needed time and effort to get over the idea that this was wrong, that she was taking advantage, and that they should not be doing this.

"I thought we just did. Aren't we dating?" Kara asked, looking into Alex's eyes with those damn puppy eyes.

"Yes, we've agreed to date. But, what does that entail?"

Kara's face scrunched up. "We're going on dates and still hanging out the way we do, but in a different context. We're romantically involved… right?"

"Yes, romantically involved." Alex agreed with that and from this moment on silently vowed to romance the hell out of Kara. It was not something Kara got to experience much and Alex wanted to give her that. She wanted to give Kara everything. She kissed the top of Kara's head.

Kara smiled and managed to snuggle in closer. "Good. I'm happy."

"Well, that's good, but we still need to talk."

"We agreed to take this slow, right? I want you to be comfortable with this, Alex. I want you to really understand how I love you and want to be with you and I'll take it however you're comfortable. I don't want to lose you ever, Alex." Kara nuzzled her.

"You never will." Well, not through choice anyway and they both understood that.

Kara wrapped her arms around Alex to the point where she was now practically lounging on Alex, movie forgotten. Alex put her arms around Kara's shoulders and delighted in holding her. Getting just a small whiff of Kara's natural scent settled Alex's nerves in a way that a hot soak would. It did not even get a reaction from her cock. It was just something soothing that let her entire being know all was right in the world. How could she think this was wrong? How could she think to let this go? She kissed the top of Kara's head again and Kara purred.

"I want this," Kara mumbled as Alex ran her fingers through Kara's hair.

Alex's heart jumped. "I want this, too." I want this so badly. I can't ruin it. I can't.

Before they could get any deeper than that, Kara fell asleep. Alex studied her face, beyond the usual angelic nature of Kara, Alex could usually see the weight of the world on Kara's face when she slept. This time, it was not present. Kara looked relaxed and calm, just like Alex felt. Alex felt pride in her chest again. She did that. She gave Kara peace, even if it was only for a moment and only in her sleep. No, I can't ruin this.

Eventually, she had to wake Kara. They could not sleep on the couch. "Hey, babe…" The word tumbled out of Alex's mouth before she realized it. She pressed on. "It's late. You should get home."

Kara pouted. "Home?" The single word was whined like no other word before it.

"You can take my bed then. You know where my pajamas are." They had shared a bed before, but Alex was not sure she had the constitution for it now that their relationship changed.

"Come with me." Kara poked her lip out and gave Alex a squeeze around her middle.

It should not be a big deal. Again, they had shared a bed countless times before. The night had gone too well for Alex to risk ruining it with an argument, so she nodded. Kara changed into the bathroom and went through her nightly routines before collapsing in Alex's bed. Alex took a moment to appreciate the sight and think about how she would love nothing more than to see it every night. Her heart swelled and she sighed. You need to get your shit together, then.

Moving to get her own nightly routines out of the way, Alex dared to think things might be all right. Her heart felt full and her body light. She might be able to do this. So, she got in bed, pressing herself against Kara's back. Before she even settled into the pillow, anxiety shot through her, conquering all good feelings she had. Her mind was bombarded with memories and terrors of every time she slept next to a person she had sex with. Her throat sizzled and her stomach twisted.

"I'll take the couch!" Alex was up before Kara could make a sound. She did not even take a pillow or blanket.

Flopping down on the couch, tears burned her eyes, but Alex would never dare to cry, especially over something she had done to herself. Her stomach did not feel any better and she would not be surprised if she was sick. It wouldn't be the first time a pretty blonde had to deal with your vomit. The memory made her gag and her food was very close to revisiting her. She closed her eyes, trying to will everything down and hoping to fall asleep, even though she knew that was not going to happen.

After a few seconds or minutes, Alex was not sure, a blanket was place over her. Kara knew she was not asleep. Kara could hear her heartbeat, knew the subtle changes in her breathing. Still, Kara said nothing and neither did Alex as Kara eased a pillow under her head and kissed the top of her head before going back to the bed. She could not help the sigh that escaped her. Part of her was comforted, but anxiety continued to gnaw at her.

In time, we'll be fine. I just need time. Alex gave Kara peace and Kara did the same for her. That meant more than something. It meant everything. So, she would stick with this and push through until she was perfectly content with their situation and relationship. You've pushed through tougher and much less pleasant things. You can do this.

-8-8-8-8-

Giddiness bubbled and boiled over in Kara in a way she never had before. It had been a little over a week since Alex put together their first real date and since then they had been on two more. They were plain dates, like going to lunch and walking through the park, but dates nonetheless. Tonight they would have "bonding night," the replacement to sisters' night. Now, it was her turn to set up for their date. Plus, it was the fourth date. She hoped that meant something, but she was prepared to take things slow. For now, she wanted to get ready for Alex.

Junk food was a must for sisters' night and Kara refused to change that as things became bonding night. She ordered extra everything to make sure Alex got some before she inhaled all of the food. So, there was Alex's favorite pizza, a pie all to herself, even if she would not eat the whole thing. She got a variety of wings, some cinnamon sticks, and a giant chocolate chip brownie with marshmallows on it. She had never had one before, but she was looking forward to it. Alex would bring the drinks, even though everything came with a two liter cola.

She also made sure to put a bunch of movies and shows Alex wanted to see in the Netflix cue. She wanted Alex to know she wanted to spoil Alex as much as Alex spoiled her. She also went out and got Alex a gift because Alex always had things for her at their dates. She felt like it was cause to celebrate that they made it through a week of dating without Alex freaking out… well, as much as she did before. Kara was aware Alex freaked out a little when she did not think anyone was looking. But, Alex was coping without violence or drinking, so that was a win.

Kara got one last chance to check herself out in the mirror before she could hear Alex at the door. Alex knocked instead of using her key. Kara thought it was silly, but if Alex needed to do that, then it was fine by her. But, she had to let Alex know it was not necessary.

"Hey, Alex," Kara grinned as she opened the door.

"Hey, babe," Alex said. She always made a face like the word tasted funny on her tongue, but she said it at every date and whenever she and Kara were alone. Kara knew it was to help her adjust to their relationship. She hoped she got a better pet name eventually, though.

Alex stepped in and they exchanged a brief kiss that left Kara tingling and wanting. There had been so many kisses since they started officially dating. Kara was certain she was addicted, but she could not bring herself to care.

"I brought that wine you like." Alex held up the bottle.

Kara purred. "Oh, you're too good to me!" While she could not get drunk off of wine, she could appreciate the taste.

"Yeah, but I'm drinking beer." Alex held up a six pack.

"Not all of it."

Alex shrugged, calling attention to the leather jacket she wore. Kara always had appreciation for Alex and her leather and her bike, but who did not? After being with Alex and now committing to a relationship, Kara could appreciate the leather jacket even more. She just wanted to curl up next to Alex while she had it on and kiss her forever… and maybe a little bit more.

Maybe Alex would be open to that now. Kara often caught a whiff of Alex enjoying their closeness more than she let on. Maybe she was ready to act on it since the week had gone so well. Sure, they had yet to even sleep in the same bed, but things could change quickly. After all, they were proof of that.

"Kara, you coming or what?" Alex asked.

Kara blinked herself out of her stupor. "Oh, yeah." She moved to sit with Alex on the sofa. "Oh, I got you something." She grabbed a giant box of Nerds candy, which she had put a bow on. She handed it to Alex.

Alex accepted with a smile. "Aw, you got my favorite candy for me and didn't even eat half the box?"

"Oh, hush!" Kara gave Alex a light shove. "You can eat them while we watch the movie."

"Oh, so the plan is for me to open them and get like the first three and then you finish off the box? Understood." Alex nodded.

"Hey, you can't be mean to me on bonding night. It makes bonding difficult." Kara poked out her lip.

Alex gave her a surprisingly easygoing grin. "It's making bonding really fun for me."

Kara pushed her lip out further and got a kiss for her trouble. "Well, if you give me a few more of those, I might reconsider eating your candy." Of course, they both knew the moment Alex opened that box, Kara would get a good portion of it. Alex laughed, but kissed her again anyway.

It was a pretty regular night. They ate and watched movies. Alex held Kara, but Kara wanted more than that. Cuddling was nice and all, but kissing was better. Alex obliged and soon the movie was forgotten in favor of kissing. During the makeup session, Alex ended up on her back with Kara on top of her. Alex's hands seemed like they were everywhere and Kara could not help herself, grinding down against Alex, feeling so much of Alex. Alex groaned and broke the kiss.

"Kara, I don't think…" Alex glanced away, too embarrassed to finish that sentence.

Kara put a hand to Alex's cheek with the hope Alex would look at her. She got what she desired. "Alex, we don't need to anything you're not comfortable with. I'm here forever. Take your time." While she might want to share a bed and more, she would wait for Alex to be okay with that for as long as it took, even if it was forever. She could sacrifice for Alex just as much as Alex did for her.

Alex's eyes searched her face. "Are you sure?"

She offered a small, encouraging smile. "Yes, I'm sure. I don't want you to be uncomfortable with anything we do. I know how much you always have on your mind and I don't want this to add to your troubles. I want you to be okay with us."

Alex nodded and caressed Kara's biceps. "What did I do to deserve you?"

Kara chuckled, even though the gentle attention made her want to melt into Alex. "I wish you knew how often I think that about you. Way too many times you've been the only reason I haven't gone insane."

Alex moved one hand to stroke Kara's cheek and Kara was not sure how she did not melt into Alex. Since she could not and did not do that, she did the next best thing and kissed Alex again. The feel of Alex's lips and tongue were more than enough to make her blood dance and have her body sing. Adding in Alex's tender touches and Kara was not sure how she did not explode. She tried to keep her hips under control, not wanting to chase Alex away, not wanting to hurt Alex. It was hard, though. She craved this closeness and more, felt starved for it.

"Wait, wait, wait," Alex said after who knew how long. She pulled away and sat up, hunched over and panting.

Kara gave Alex some space. She could guess what happened, even though Alex pulled away before she could feel the problem. Alex pressed her hands together and took controlled breaths.

"Remember, Alex, whenever you're ready. No pressure," Kara said. She was tempted to reach out and put her hand on Alex's shoulder, but she doubted that would help, even if it was just to give comfort.

Alex nodded. "I know. I know. Thanks. It's just…" She blew out a breath. "You on top of me… It's a lot."

Kara could not help sitting up proud. "Um… yeah. But, again, whenever you're ready. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Um… can we cuddle again?" Snuggling with Alex would always rank high on ways to past the time for Kara.

Alex nodded. "Give me a minute, though."

Kara had no problem with that and held off as Alex controlled her breath and drank a beer. When Alex was ready, Kara went back to her and curled against her. Alex wrapped her in a protective embrace and they continued to watch the movie. Eventually, there was more making out, but not the extent of before. As the night wound down, Kara tucked her head under Alex's chin.

"Do you think you could… Well, I'd like if you stay the night," Kara said and immediately heard the uptick on Alex's heartbeat.

"Kara," Alex replied.

"Just to sleep. I love having you against me. I feel… I dunno, at peace or something." Those words might have been the right ones because Alex's heartbeat calmed.

"I'll try, Kara. It's just… it's different sleeping next to you now. Before, you were off-limits and unattainable, so…" Alex shrugged. "I dunno. I was able to deal with it. Now, there's so much with me that you don't even know about."

"Okay, well, first, I eventually want to know everything about you, so I hope one day you're comfortable with sharing. Second, can you just remember it's me? We've done this a thousand times and I don't expect anything from you. I just want us to sleep."

Alex nodded. "I'll try."

Kara could not help hoping, even though this did not go the way she wanted last time. Still, try and try again would be her motto with Alex until they were some place they both could enjoy. So, she laid down in her bed and Alex followed. Instead of spooning, she tucked herself in close to Alex, a way she used to do when she first came to the planet and they started getting close. Alex wrapped her arms around Kara, just like she used to do and little by little Kara could hear and feel her relax.

"Whenever you get anxious, Alex, can you just remember I'm me?" Kara asked softly, not wanting to destroy the moment.

Alex rubbed her back. "I'll do my best. No matter what, don't forget I care about you. I'm nervous and anxious, yes. But, for a lot of reasons and everything boils down to me wanting to do right by you. I want things to go right with us and I want to be the mate you deserve."

Kara's breath hitched at the word "mate." It was that one word that let Kara know things would be all right. Alex saw a future with them, saw them being mates and Alex knew what that word meant to Kara. It was not just being a couple, not just being married, but being two halves of a whole, completely each other, being willing to pick the other up when necessary, and everything in between. Alex wanted that with her.

-8-8-8-8-

It had been over a month since Alex was in rut, crippled over her desire for Kara and even though she had months before her next rut, she wanted to be with Kara before that time. They had been dating comfortably for three weeks. She felt like this was still rushing things, but want settled just under her skin whenever she was with Kara. Yes, there was the shame of the want, but the carving itched a little more each day, clawing away at the shame. So, there she was with Lucy again, at lunch.

"Are you going to make this a habit?" Lucy asked with a teasing smile as they sat in a corner of the same cafe as they had before.

"You're the only person who knows," Alex replied. She was not happy to have to ask for help, but she was so out of her depth.

"Knowledge is such a burden." Lucy rolled her eyes, but grinned, drumming on the table with eager fingers. "What's going on? I figured you two must be okay if you're not trying to take out any agents in the gym."

Alex snorted and a sneer tugged at her top lip. "You know I only do that during my rut."

"You also do it when training rookies or when someone likes to act like they're big and bad."

Alex folded her arms across her chest. "It let's trainees know this isn't a joke and it's not safe to have an ego the size of all outdoors. That's how people get killed."

Lucy tittered a bit. "I love how you have that all sorted out, but not this thing with Kara. How can I help you? What's going on?"

Alex took a deep breath. "Well, we haven't… since my rut. I want to before my next rut. I don't want our only times being intimate to be those times."

"So, you want advice on how to romance the moment?"

Alex sighed. "I guess. I don't want it to seem sudden. Kara's been so patient with me and I'm still a little hung up on this, but not like before. I understand it's okay and I really think she's the one for me." She noticed the look on Lucy's face. "If you call me adorable, I will shoot you."

Lucy held her hands up. "You said it, not me."

"Your eyes said it and they're still saying it. I will shoot you. Assistant director be damned."

"No need." Lucy took a breath and shrugged. "Look, let the moment happen. Don't stress over it, especially considering we all know the more you stress over it, the worse it'll get. And, Kara will notice if you're forcing anything."

Alex chewed the corner of her bottom lip for a moment. "That's true."

"Take your time, like she said. I think if you let things go naturally, you won't have to wait until your next rut."

Alex nodded and was certain that was true. Maybe she just needed someone to say it. She and Kara had already had sleepovers. There were make-outs and cuddles. It would probably happen on its own before her next rut. She just wanted to have a time with Kara when she was in control over herself. She wanted to be completely over her anxiety and wanted to conquer all of the horrible memories hanging over her every time she went a little too far with Kara.

"Will you be okay?" Lucy asked.

"Why?"

"Because you look like you might throw up."

Alex's stomach turned at that. There were times when that happened, too. She would be cuddled in the bed with Kara and her stomach would not settle, her throat would burn with bile, and her heart beat so erratically that Kara asked her about it. She would wait until she could at least sleep next to Kara without having a small panic attack that could only be soothed with gentle words from Kara reminding her who Kara was.

So, she felt like in order to get over that now that she acknowledged it was to get used to it. There would have to be more sleepovers. She sighed.

"Thanks for the help," Alex said to Lucy.

"Then stop looking like I kidnapped you in order to get that thanks," Lucy replied.

Alex laughed. "I'm just not used to getting help like this."

"It's all right. Everyone needs it every now and then."

Alex was not sure about that, but she did not know much about being in a relationship. She was also learning she did not know much about friendships in her adult life, as she and Lucy began speaking on other matters as they had lunch. They almost sounded like friends to her. Were they friends? Maybe they could be friends. She would see how that would play out.

-8-8-8-8-

After a date to the movies, Alex and Kara ended up at Alex's apartment because it was closer. They did their usual nighttime things and then crawled into bed. Despite sharing a bed often enough, they still had not figured out how they would sleep. Alex refused to be the little spoon. Kara liked to toss and turn, more for the hell of it than anything else. So, every time they laid down together they tried something new.

"You could always lie on me. I won't mind," Kara said, staring at the ceiling.

"No, that's not going to happen." While Alex liked to think she was beyond her alpha instincts, an alpha did not use her partner as a mattress. The alpha was the mattress. The badass was the mattress and while Kara might be Supergirl, Alex still felt she was the badass between the two of them.

"Why not? I'm comfortable." Kara had the nerve to put her chin up, like she was proud of this complete and utter lie.

"You're a furnace you mean." Holding Kara at night was an act of weighing costs to benefits. The cost was being burning hot throughout the night with the benefits being enjoying the feel of Kara in her arms. The benefits outweighed the cost in that instance, but it did not make her any less hot.

Kara scoffed. "I just have really good circulation. What if I was the little spoon?"

"Are you going to stay still to be the little spoon?"

"I can try."

They shuffled in the bed and moved into position with Kara as the little spoon and Alex as the big spoon. She draped her arm over Kara, who put her hand over Alex's. This was surprisingly comfortable, on par with Kara facing her while they laid in bed. She could feel Kara's movements as she breathed in and out. She nuzzled Kara's neck as Kara's fingers traced the lines on her knuckles.

"This is the calmest you've been when we're in this situation," Kara said.

"This is really comfortable," Alex replied, caressing Kara's stomach. And, for someone who could stop bullets, Kara was so soft to the touch. Yes, she ran hot, but it did not stop Alex's hands from wandering her stomach and arms. The thoughts that haunted her were overpowered by the feel of Kara, the promise of Kara, and the reality of Kara.

Kara purred. "That's really nice." She pushed back against Alex and Alex groaned.

Alex kissed Kara's neck. Kara turned and then they were kissing, slowly and leisurely, as they did countless times now. Kara's lips never failed to entice, bringing up feelings Alex never thought could exist. It was like having insight to the inner workings of the universe, traveling through space at leisure, and becoming enlightened by the simple act of touching Kara's mouth. And the gentle caress of Kara's tongue was like being graced with everything she could ever want or need. How had she lived without these kisses? How had she fought against these kisses? Why had she fought against any of this? Never again.

"I'm surprised guys haven't written epic poetry dedicated to your kisses," Alex said.

Kara snickered. "I could say the same about you. Can we kiss forever?"

"I dunno. I need to breathe every now and then."

"Breathing isn't really important." And to prove her point, Kara went in for more kisses, testing how long Alex could go before she needed to breathe normally. Alex was up for the challenge, delighting in each movement of Kara's mouth.

After a while, Kara took Alex's hand from her stomach and pushed it up a little higher, giving her permission if she wanted it. Alex found herself bold enough to go for it and before either of them realized it, Alex was softly kneading Kara's breast. The weight in her hand, the soft flesh tempting her nerve-endings blocked out any thoughts other than touching more of Kara, making Kara feel good. Kara broke their kiss.

"Are we…?" Kara asked in a low, but very eager voice. Her eyes sparkled, but searched Alex's face.

"We can if you want," Alex replied. Her half-hard-on would definitely appreciate it.

"Okay, one second!" Kara popped up before Alex could say anything.

"What are you doing?" Alex asked.

"Gotta get something." Kara went into her pants' pocket and grabbed something.

Alex could guess what Kara was getting. While Kara grabbed the kryptonite bracelet, Alex checked if she had condoms. It had been a long time since she had been with anyone. There were condoms in her nightstand. She hoped they had not expired. While she suspected she had as much chance of impregnating Kara as she did a tree, she did not voice that. Besides, if she had not gotten Kara pregnant during her rut, she doubted she would now, which was a little bit of a blow to the alpha inside of her she liked to ignore. But, yeah, I might want to start researching that. Maybe Kara wants kids and maybe I'd like to give them to her one day.

"You okay?" Kara asked as she crawled back into bed.

"Yeah, fine." Alex took a deep breath and settled back into her pillow. "Come back."

Kara moved back into position and they spooning again, like they were about to go to sleep. Alex almost thought they might do that, but then she felt Kara's fingers caressing her hand. The gentle, almost innocent movement was more than Alex needed. Her lips found Kara's neck again, drawing a loud moan from her this time. Kara arched against her, ass against Alex, grinding on her aroused cock, as Alex's hand eased under Kara's shirt.

Kara let out another moan as Alex filled her hand with Kara's plump breast. Kara turned and Alex wasted no time kissing her wildly, deeply. Maybe when she had the time, she would pen epic poems about Kara and her kisses. She would add praise to Kara's breasts while she was at it. They were the perfect size and she would not mind having them in her hands at all times, unless she got to put them in her mouth.

"Alex," Kara breathed against her mouth.

"I got you," Alex replied, hips pumping against Kara. She could hardly control her body now. She wanted to explore and discovery every bit of Kara. She wanted to learn all of the secrets of Kara's body. "I want to make you feel things you didn't even know you could."

Kara moaned again. "Yes, please."

Alex cupped Kara's breast and pinched her nipple. Kara cried out, arched into her touch, and pressed against her. Alex could hardly breathe, hardly cared to breath. She only wanted to feel, feel every inch of Kara and make Kara feel every inch of her. Kara seemed to want the same, scrambling out of her shirt to the point it got caught in her hair. Alex would have laughed, but she did not have time as Kara was kissing her again and grabbing at her shirt. Alex pulled away.

"Calm down. We have all night," Alex said. She wanted to take her time and enjoy everything.

Kara pouted. "I know. I know. Sorry. Kisses?"

How could Alex refuse that face? She could not refuse Kara's pout before they were a couple. She would never be able to resist it now. It did not matter. She would never want to refuse or resist giving Kara kisses, so she obliged. As they kissed, Kara tugged at Alex's pajama shirt again, but Alex pulled away.

"I've got this," Alex said. She wanted to be the one to undress herself.

Kara grinned, looking very much like a pleased puppy. "Yes, please."

Every time she said that, it sent a shiver down Alex's spine and the shiver turned into a twitch when it reached below her waist. Beyond her rut, Alex was not sure she had ever been so hard in all of her life. She doubted she had ever leaked so much either, her dick practically drooling at this point. She lifted her shirt over her head and heard Kara's breath hitch while she was blinded by the fabric. The reaction made her proud and puffed up.

"Can I?" Kara asked, but her hands were moving already.

Alex nodded. Kara's fingers traces simple parts of her at first, her arms, her collarbones, and then eased her way down to Alex's breasts. It was curious touching, not quite sexual, but Alex grew harder from it. Her skin burned and craved Kara. She leaned in for another kiss and needed to feel more of Kara. Kara greeted her with enthusiasm.

Alex's hands busied themselves with stroking Kara's chest from her collarbones to her navel. She wanted to become intimately familiar with the expanse of Kara's flesh. She wanted to know Kara in the same manner she knew her work, thoroughly and expertly. Her hands grazed a bit of clothing she felt needed to go.

"Pants. Take off your pants," Alex said.

"Yes, yes, yes." Kara moved to do just that.

Alex took a moment to appreciate Kara's naked and raw beauty. What had she done to deserve this angel? Why had this angel picked her to be with? Kara might have seen the questions in her eyes because she reached out and caressed Alex's cheek.

"I used to imagine what my bond-mate would be like when I was little. I never imagined anyone nearly as great as you," Kara said.

Alex sniffled. "You think I'm great?" Kara praised her quite often, but it was hard to get through so much other things in the swamp of Alex's emotions.

"So great." Kara grinned.

Alex puffed up on the inside again and felt any remaining negative emotions ebb away. Kara wanted her. Kara thought they were all right. Kara, Supergirl, Last Daughter of Krypton thought she was good enough, thought they were good together, to bond, to mate. Alex grabbed Kara to her for a heated kiss, pressing Kara down into the mattress.

Kara wrapped her arms around Alex, like she never wanted to let her go, like she trusted her with everything. Alex felt like she was bathed in warm light, drenched in warm water, wrapped in a cocoon of Kara and this was just where she should be. She pressed against Kara, never breaking the kiss, and loving the feel of Kara's skin against her own. Kara's hands roamed her back, caressed her nerves, and whispered promises of safety. She pulled away and Kara whimpered.

Alex worried the sound of a whimper would break the spell. She was afraid of Kara sounding or doing anything like an omega would bring ruin to this all, bring back a flood of memories and emotions she would not be able to ignore and unable to cope with, but her mind did not even register it. Kara was now her entire universe and the universe was following her lead. Her inner alpha seemed quite pleased with the bit of control she had. There were no flashbacks or pauses. She was comfortable.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you. I just need…" She needed to get out of her damn shorts, which had to have an impressive wet spot by now. As she sat up to get rid of them, Kara moved with her, kissing her neck, her shoulders, and every other bit she could reach. Each kiss left a tattoo of love imprinted on her soul.

Alex got rid of her pajama shorts along with her boxer-briefs. Relief rushed her as she was freed from her confining underwear and she went back to Kara, kissing her lips, her neck, and down. Kara eased back to the pillow, hands never leaving Alex. The imprint of Kara's fingers grounded her, leaving her in disbelief that there was ever a time she could not do this. And when she tasted Kara, felt her pulse beating under her lips, hearing Kara moan her name, she could not understand why there was ever a time she could not do this.

"You taste so good," Alex whispered as she dragged her lips and the tip of her tongue along Kara's collarbone. It felt like a simple taste could sustain her forever.

Kara's eyes fluttered shut, like she surrendered herself to Alex. The very idea sent jolts down Alex's spine and right to her already throbbing dick. She could feel herself dripping onto the mattress, but she could not bring herself to care. More of Kara's skin called to her.

Drifting, she made her way to Kara's beautiful breasts. She lapped at a pebbled nipple while her thumb played with the other. Kara whined and arched into her touch. Kara's breath hitched.

"You're…" Kara could not even get it out.

"I know, but this is about you. I want to take care of you," Alex replied. Pleasing Kara kept her demons at bay and she was more than happy to have her mind focus completely on adoring Kara.

"But… more?" It was a question, like Kara did not understand there could be more.

"Whatever you want." Alex suckled a little harder as her free hand caressed Kara's inner thigh. Kara's legs fell open without any prompting. Seeking Kara's pleasure, Alex fingers found her clit and stroked it with tender devotion in rhythm with the suck of her lips.

"Oh, Rao!" Kara quivered beneath her.

Alex's inner alpha flared up, driving her to lips and tongue to play with Kara's pink peaks. The soft sounds coming from Kara filled Alex in so many spaces and made her crave more. Tasting Kara was amazing, so she decided to drink her in. Kissing her way down Kara's torso, she gave special attention just below Kara's navel. She could smell Kara's arousal now and inhaled deeply, letting it colonize her. She hoped to return the favor as she went for the prize, taking Kara's clit between her lips.

"Oh, Alex." Kara's hands clutched her skull and it was a good thing she was had on that kryptonite bracelet or she certainly would have squashed Alex's skull like a grape. And Alex would not have given a good damn.

Alex took long, broad strokes along Kara, lapping up every bit of her essence that she could. Kara purred with each lick and the sound made Alex never want to leave. She felt Kara move against her mouth and open herself up to more. Alex wanted nothing more than to give Kara all she ever wanted.

"Yes, yes, yes," Kara panted, scratching Alex's head as she held on for dear life.

Alex sucked and licked and when she felt Kara come in her mouth, she was certain she would explode. Kara sighed and relaxed against the pillows as Alex moved to her knees. She twitched something fierce as Kara watched her with hooded eyes as she slipped on the condom with more determination than she thought possible. She leaned down and positioned herself, but did not move. She locked eyes with Kara, who nodded as she wrapped her arms around Alex's neck.

"I love you," Kara whispered.

"I love you, too." Alex felt tears prick her eyes, like she was overwhelmed. It did not matter. She was right where she wanted to be.

Reaching between them, Alex grabbed herself and nudged Kara's clit. Kara moaned and moved with her. Alex had to release a breath she did not know she was holding as Kara rubbed against her.

"Kara, I need you to hold still for a moment," Alex begged. If Kara kept moving against her, she would not even make it inside.

Kara groaned. "But, it's so hard."

Yes, it is. Alex managed to keep from saying that as she eased into Kara, earning a long moan from her. Alex moaned as well. It was not the same as being with Kara during her rut with nothing between them, but it was still glorious. In fact, she saw stars. It was a minor miracle she did not blow upon entry.

"Fuck, Kara," Alex groaned, hips pumping of their own accord.

"Yes, please. Oh, please, yes," Kara panted in her ear, clutched her shoulders, and moved with her.

Alex leaned down, needing a kiss as she rocked her hips. The alpha part of her, and a maybe a little bit of regular her, wanted to pound into Kara, but she held off. A bigger part of her wanted to be able to savor this moment until the end of time, wanted to be gentle with Kara when the rest of the world, no universe was so rough with her. So, she kept the kiss light and her strokes slow, but deep.

"I wanna be so good for you," Alex whispered. She wanted to be there for Kara in every way possible.

Kara wrapped herself around Alex, arms and legs, clutched Alex to her. "You are. You are. My bond-mate."

Mate. Alex's inner alpha relaxed at the thought rather than roared at it. It sealed cracks inside of her and settled her soul in place for the first time in a long time. She was able to keep her calm pace, focus on Kara's pleasure. Every bit of Kara sent a ripple of ecstasy through her with each leisure stroke. Soon, every nerve in her body begged her to finish.

Each of the little sounds Kara made as she pulsed and gripped Alex made it that much harder to keep from climaxing. It did not help that Alex's body felt like it was about to explode whenever Kara dug her nails into Alex's shoulders. As she felt all the pressure build, she went in for another kiss, hoping it would help her focus. Instead, her dick jumped as Kara's tongue caressed her own and she came with a loud groan. Fuck.

Kara whimpered as Alex collapsed on her, but Kara refused to let her go. Kara peppered her skin with sweet kisses as she caught her breath. You do realize you're pretty worthless as an alpha, right? Your mate didn't even come from that. Alex was not about to let her inner alpha ruin this for her.

"Give me a second and I'll finish you with my mouth," Alex said. A delight for both of them. She had learned throughout her adult life that there was more than one way to give an orgasm. And the thought of worshipping Kara with her tongue once more was enough to make her cock twitch.

Kara moaned a little. "No, no, no. Don't move. I really like your weight on me and just feeling you inside of me is more than enough. Besides, this isn't it for tonight, is it?" she asked with a little bit of her brattiness.

Alex laughed. "No, definitely not. I'm sorry it took this long." She nuzzled Kara's neck to drive home the apology. Rubbing her nose in Kara's neck, she felt like the scent of their lovemaking could make her float away. Kara smelled of her. Kara was hers and one day she would leave her mark on this very neck.

"I'm not. I want you to be comfortable. I'm willing to do anything for you, bond-mate." Kara leaned down enough to kiss her, a soft press of lips.

"I like the sound of that." Alex would do everything in her power to be a good mate for Kara, to Kara. She was not ashamed of this, of them. This felt right. It was not just because of her rut. It was not just hormones. She loved Kara, as a mate, and would care for her as a mate forever and always.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Kara tries to learn more about human sex.

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