The fact that no nightmares woke Rene that night led Starbuck to believe that the hard cry and a day off duty had done Rene some good. She was reluctant to leave their quarters the next day, suddenly concerned that she had skipped out on a duty, an offense under Dante punishable by a flogging. Starbuck made sure he had the time to take her to the Commander, to help explain, and let her know there would be no punishment. She didn't seem to relax until Adama spoke the words, and also reassured her that no record had been made of the events of the day before.
Rene was quiet in the days that followed. She performed her duties, went to the briefings and trainings, followed orders and even took her turn taking care of family obligations. But she didn't say much. Even in their quarters she was quiet, that is until they were under the covers. She spoke volumes then in the conversations the two of them were best at. He followed her lead and he was careful in his actions. He moved slow and deliberately because, well, Starbuck had done a bit of reading of his own all about abuse and the effects. He started with the literature he could find on battle stress and fatigue. Every warrior he knew fit the profiles for those severely affected. No one could fly a viper in combat or have survived the loss of the Colonies and not have experienced one or two of the symptoms described. But it was Rene's words, "Then a lot of Captains need to be on report. That's not going to help anyone feel a part of the fleet to reprimand half the officers," that had Starbuck shifting his focus to what he could find on torture and sexual abuse.
Half the officers? Was it hyperbole, or was it worse than that? Rene had a habit of diminishing the harshness of what happened on Dilmun, shrugging it off as if it could be worse, or that others had received the same, which in her eyes made the abuse no big deal. The words began to haunt his sleep. Plus what he was reading about how to deal with the victims of sexual abuse had Starbuck up late wondering. Did Rene still have to spend her days taking orders from those who had taken advantage of her? If you counted Gage in that category, then the answer was yes. But how many others were there she had to report to?
The days that followed seemed to go back to the routine that the Galactica and especially Starbuck was trying to establish, a calm balance between work and play, a peaceful existence without murder and mayhem. Yeah, it was a lot to ask for he supposed with the Cylons still out there, but so far there was no sign of them. After all, they were looking for the Fleet in another part of the galaxy. Things were still chaotic with the shuffling of troops to the other ships and needing to find housing for pilots with families, but that was an easy confusion to manage.
The guttersnipes were settling in without too many issues. The Commander had started up trainings to fill in the gaps for those who had been rescued from Caprica and given a hasty training. It had an interesting less than desired effect. It put the rats together most of the day, away from others of the fleet. They were already a group that had bonded in the disaster of the colonies. Now they were even more closely wedded together as they all were trying to find their footing in this new fleet and command structure. Starbuck had voiced his concerns about maybe this was a configuration of troops that could create problems later. It would be hard to separate out these wing mates in future rotations.
Well, hades if he wanted to be honest, it would be hard to separate Rene from Jake. Starbuck didn't want to say it out loud and he fought hard to keep the green eyed monster in its cage. But Jake and Rene, along with all the other gutter snipes spent all their days together in training, and then most of their nights studying to pass the exams. While they were regularly rotated for their duties with more experienced warriors from the Galactica, Starbuck was not part of that rotation now that he was the senior officer of Blue squadron and Apollo had command of the Zakar. A promotion would probably be coming soon, and while he looked forward to the increase in his pay, he was not looking forward to the extra duties. It would be less flight time, more boring desk duty and days that would be routine. But then again, maybe that's what they all needed, some boredom and routine.
The routine he had tried to create for the Zakar pilots was comforting and he watched each member of the family slide into it using it to calm themselves, to give them hope. The details and duties established some order in their chaotic lives. Starbuck hoped it would speed up the process of gaining their trust. No, the fleet wasn't the paradise any of them had been hoping for, not even him, but Starbuck knew it was exponentially better than what had been their lives for the past three yahrens. He sometimes wondered why they weren't celebrating their rescue by the fleet, for that's what it surely was. Instead the first few cycles the Dilmun Warriors seemed to be holding their breath as if waiting for a sentence to be laid down for some transgression. He had asked about it one night, just he and Rene in their quarters. She had reminded him that Dante had seemed like a god those first few sectons. Starbuck had pulled her into his arms and promised her this time would be different. She let him whisper sweet nothings to her, but she was eerily tense and silent while he did.
Being assigned quarters as a family had helped as the pilots watched their other companions shifted throughout the new expanded fleet. The Dilmun warriors didn't seem to understand that they had some input in the decisions as to where they could go, what duties they could fulfil. Starbuck had to point that out to them, going so far as to pulling out the rules and regulations and running a quick study session of how the service worked. It was chilling to find that most knew the regulations, but also knew they had not applied in the past. Even the former colonials in their family, such as Crius, didn't seem to fathom that they could have a say in their assignments.
It is what prompted Starbuck to schedule his first meeting with the Commander in his official capacity once assigned and apparently forgotten by everyone but himself that he was the liaison between the Dilmun Warriors and the fleet.
In the Commander's office, Starbuck had outlined some of the problems. The first was that none of the Dilmun warriors would probably ever feel comfortable being alone in any quarters with a commanding officer ranking above Lieutenant. Disciplinary hearings would need to be witnessed by those above and more importantly, below the chain of command in order to earn their trust of the system and its workings. It was the first time he actually thought he might be smarter than the Commander as Adama had failed to understand why that might be necessary. The Commander was so decent, he couldn't seem to grasp the level of abuse these pilots had suffered and the effects it would have on their psyche over the long term. Starbuck found himself pulling up psychology books and educating the Commander of the fleet. It was a sobering experience to say the least, for all the fleet he supposed as many of the articles on trauma and stress seemed to explain why Lt. Cree still had nightmares, and Lt. Giles fled any conversation that might seem serious in any way. It explained why Boomer had declined any opportunity at training cadets, or would literally volunteer for the worst assignments rather than be in a room with pilots in whom he could not fully trust their abilities.
And then there was Apollo. Starbuck had to point out to his friend's own father that since Serina's death, the man hadn't been the same. He and Sheba were close, but no mention of sealing had ever come up between the two. In fact, when things seemed to be moving in that direction, both pilots would find a way to make themselves so busy with duty they didn't have time to even think about each other. It was a classic reaction to loss, and it seemed ironic even to Starbuck that he was the one who had to spell it out for the Commander.
It was bordering on the ridiculous that Starbuck, the epitome of the man unable to commit, could explain the failings in his friends' relationships. Maybe that is what had the Commander and the others paying attention. Here he was, the holder of the gold clusters for avoidance and distraction, finally committing to something. Starbuck was actually taking care of all the Warriors from Dilmun, not just the pretty young gal he took a fancy to. Was it because he'd finally found someone more broken than himself that he could help?
Yeah, he had to admit that his relationship with Rene had everyone a little unnerved, maybe even himself if he took the time to admit it. The age difference was an easy point for everyone to criticize, but that had been easy for him to shrug off. Everyone had always called him immature. The fact that the two of them were nearly inseparable had his friends more than a little concerned, but Starbuck understood. If not for him, and the needs of the kids, he knew Rene wouldn't be here. She'd had plans that did not involve the fleet. This had been a compromise, a sacrifice for others. Starbuck represented the whole fleet to her, and he owed it to her to try to make it worth it. He wasn't done being her hero, so he took the role seriously. He knew he couldn't explain it to others, but frack she needed him and he needed her. With all that had happened in their pasts, he was prepared for there to be problems between them eventually, but so far, it had been easy. They had settled into a predictable routine, finding comfort within each other. He didn't give a frack if no one understood it. She understood him, and he was trying to understand her.
She had become his shadow, and when he had a patrol that kept him away, she waited for him. It worried him that she couldn't sleep if he wasn't there, but even when he was, the nightmares still came. He wasn't sure what the solution was other than to let her fall back into old habits and old friends. He knew the friends were necessary; they were family, and now were his family too. But the old habits had to go. First and foremost, the substance abuse had to stop for the safety of the baby and herself. He had expected a bit more of a fight on that, but she'd quit the stims cold or at least he thought she had. She wouldn't admit to the withdrawal problems. She had her moments that she twitched, and he noticed her cravings. She sucked down a lot of java, but that was a healthier alternative so he let it go.
What had been harder to give up was the ambrosia and he knew it flowed through the Council chambers a little too freely, but one addiction at time. He knew Rene had a drink or two when he wasn't looking. Dr. Salik assured him it shouldn't do too much damage, but also wasn't a good idea as the pregnancy progressed. So Starbuck tried to cut down on how much he drank himself, hoping it would help. He tried to help with the withdrawal symptoms by keeping Rene distracted, and all the pilots focused on healthy behaviors. The gym got a lot of use, and he'd booked the triad courts on a permanent basis.
The pilots had thrown themselves into their duty and while the Galactica Warriors considered it a good sign and a great step towards acclimation, Starbuck knew it was anything but a good omen. It was avoidance of the worst kind. If they were too busy with duty and details, they could avoid dealing with the past. If they worked themselves to death, they wouldn't have to deal with those who were already dead.
He and Gage had thought that the fewer hours that were required by their duties in fleet compared to under Dante's command would be welcomed by the Dilmun troops. Instead, it had produced some interesting complications. Several groups of pilots had launched into projects of their own creation, such as trying to turn the larger corridors of Officer's row into a hydroponics farm. Many pilots had volunteered for the foundry ship in their off hours as well as to the details capturing asteroids for resources. In some ways, the Zakar pilots were busier than they had ever been on Dilmun. Starbuck wasn't quite sure how to solve that problem, if indeed it was a problem, as much of their projects and duties were necessary. He simply hoped in time they would get tired and be smart enough to ask for the leave they would need. For now, well maybe some avoidance could allow them all to deal with the damage done in small doses. From his readings, he knew recovery would not be a fun process. They all had an emptiness they needed to fill. Who was he to suggest they not find their own way? He had Rene, she had him. The others had a right to find what worked for them.
The family had grown with the addition of some of the others from Dilmun like Maia, and some from the Galactica such as Giles who had taken an instant shine to Maia. Boomer had wanted to be there for his cousin. Following Boomer was Dietra. Starbuck suspected Apollo might have joined the family for a few more meals than he had if not for his assignment as Colonel of the Zakar. It was a promotion long overdue, but it meant a shift in wing mates. Starbuck requested Crius even though he knew it was a pairing that should be denied due to their strange family configuration. It was an error he was not willing to point out to command, not yet anyway. Maybe when Rene was flying again he'd point out that family shouldn't fly together, too many to lose together, too many emotions involved. For now, he and Crius seemed to manage well together. Boomer took on Nik, Max worked well with Jolly, and Jake found himself with Giles.
Nik and Dara plus Crius and Lizbet had their sealings approved by the Command and had taken up some of the other suites for the council of twelve members aboard the Battlestar. Their kids overflowed in the corridors, the three of Nik and Dara's, the three for Crius and Lizbet, Jonas's two, Rene's two, and then those who had been saved from Caprica, ranging in age from 8 to 14, the girls taking up another council member's room, the boys a Captain's quarters. Jonas had joined Jake and Max creating a kind of Zakar bunkroom of quarters that had once been Apollo's. Boomer had requested to join them, and it had opened up a good discussion about how quarters were being used on the Battlestar. New bunkrooms were needed, quarters for the married officers as well. Things were getting crowded. It was time to restructure and reorganize.
Starbuck had found his own project to throw himself into, pouring over the schematics for the Battlestar, using fresh eyes to carve out space and accommodations for a fleet that was growing in numbers. As the sectons began to roll by, many of the female warriors from Dilmun had become pregnant, including Maia. Starbuck didn't have the heart to tell Giles it probably wasn't his, mainly because Starbuck didn't want to face the fact that Rene's child might not be his. Starbuck was trying to come around to the family's way of thinking. The kids were all his, especially the one Rene was carrying. Maybe later he'd ask to see the ancestry report, once the child was here, if the eyes came out too dark or the hair not as blond as it should be.
If he was honest with himself, it wasn't Dante he was worried about being the father. He tried not to think too hard about it. He knew he had no right to ever be jealous, not after his womanizing ways, but maybe that was why he knew it could be a possibility. Rene and Jake were a little too friendly. Everyone had admitted that before the fleet arrived, the two fracked often. And why shouldn't they? They were sealed after all. Something he'd been meaning to ask Rene to solve so they could be sealed, but so far, she had not brought it up, and he wondered if she ever would. It's not like she and Jake had asked Command to acknowledge the sealing like the others had, but they hadn't asked for it to be dissolved either. Many had voiced their thoughts as to whether Rene's child was his, or…
The thought had crossed his mind again one afternoon in the duty office as he and Boomer were looking over the diagrams for the officer's quarters and recreation halls, looking for ways to carve out more spaces for people to gather other than the officers club. Everyone had agreed, they still needed some spaces to remain kid free for everyone's sanity, but kids needed room to play and grow. He and Boomer had been distracted by Jake and Giles returning from a patrol. Rene had also been in the duty office, going over the shuttle schedules, refining supply runs to minimize fuel usage. She had greeted Giles, but she and Jake barely shared a look. Instead of quelling the jealous demons inside Starbuck's head, it had them screaming. He knew from what everyone had told him it was not normal behavior for these two. Before his presence, Jake and Rene had been like a binary star system, circling each other.
Boomer interrupted Starbuck's thoughts. "So you see it too?"
"Yeah, but it's not like I want to encourage them to talk to each other. Yeah, the silence is a bit unnerving, but they'll get over it."
Boomer cast his friend a suspicious look. "So you don't see it?"
"See what, Boomer, they don't talk to each other. They inhabit the same spaces, but don't say a word to each other. It's not exactly normal. I don't think they've held a conversation in the last four sectons since the funeral."
Boomer cocked his head, then lowered it conspiratorially. "Starbuck, are you blind? The two have been talking nonstop."
"Yeah, in what they don't say I suppose."
Boomer cut him off. "You're not watching in the right places."
"What are you talking about, Boomer? I'm watching."
Boomer shook his head. "They're talking. They're using hand signals, code. I can read some of it, standard hand signs from the combat manual, but some I can't. They've developed their own system, and they keep talking about Caprica."
Starbuck's head came up, looking to Rene at her desk. Sure enough, her hands were forming figures, letters and words in the sign language from trainings. He shot a look over to Jake to see him answer, his hands moving just as fast before he paused and looked over to where Starbuck and Boomer sat.
"Holy frack, how did I miss that?" Starbuck couldn't help but to hear the little green monster inside him whisper. He spoke the words to Boomer. "How long has this been going on?" He watched Jake move across the room, go to stand by Giles but his fingers were tapping out a code on the wall. Starbuck caught part of it, "get out of it. Not fun. Find me. We'll have fun."
Boomer caught the code too. "I think since they came on board. I didn't notice it until a few sectons ago. I thought you knew, because they used to stop around you, and now they don't."
"And what have they been talking about?"
Boomer recognized the jealousy simmering in Starbuck's eyes. "Hold up there, Buddy. Most of it is just normal stuff, not much about you, not usually. They talk about the family a lot, but lately, they talk about Caprica."
"What about Caprica?" Starbuck wondered if he should pull Rene from flight status, but then what he knew of what she once could do, a shuttle alone couldn't do it. Besides, she wouldn't, would she? Why there if she could go anywhere?
"That part I can't quite catch. They have those conversations on the sly. I just thought you knew. They've been talking, a lot."
"Well I do now," he said, looking to Rene. She smiled at him, and he tried to smile back, but her fingers were tapping the desk, a code easy to read now that he was looking for it. "It will have to wait. Starbuck's watching."
He let it go for a secton, watching, decoding, learning their system. Boomer had been right; most of their conversations were innocuous. Details about the kids, what was going on in their day, how things were going. They asked each other constantly if they were okay, how they were dealing with it. Rene spoke of wanting to walk on a planet, Jake discussed hiking and swimming. They'd discussed one time sneaking into the water tanks of the Galactica for a swim, and Starbuck wanted to be jealous, but mere centons later, Rene was suggesting it to everyone at dinner. It wasn't a rendezvous for ex-lovers, but an outing for everyone. Sure enough one evening, they all had snuck in to the fresh water tanks and taken a dip, letting the kids splash and play in what would soon be the drinking water of the Battlestar.
Other conversations were harder to decipher, and Boomer was right, they talked about Caprica often. Most seemed to be talk of the past, places they had known, but they all had a theme to them, where they might find supplies or necessities for the black market. When they would talk of meeting places and times, Starbuck had made a point of distracting the two of them, and sure enough, the silent conversation would stop. He found ways to keep Rene from those covert dates and times, but that just increased the conversations. For his own sanity, he had to put a stop to it, but how? Based on how often Jake asked Rene how she was doing, offering to take her turns at family obligations and kid management so she could be with Starbuck, he didn't really want to call them out on it per say. He didn't want them to stop talking, he just wanted them to stop keeping it secret.
As luck would have it, he had to deal with it in the officer's club as some of the adults were enjoying a drink without all the kids underfoot after the nightly ritual of putting them all down to bed. As others bantered about their day, their duties, the patrols and the fleet, Starbuck was silently watching Rene and Jake. While the two friends seemed to join in the banter, their secret conversation was about ambrosia. In fact, Jake was rubbing it in that he could have some and Rene could not. She had replied mentioning the bottle of Proteus ambrosia she had shared with Starbuck.
Starbuck hadn't meant to join their conversation, but it was the memory of that fine ambrosia that had him responding verbally before he realized what he had done.
"It was over 500 yahrens old. I don't think we will ever find ambrosia like that again." Even he was shocked at his spoken words. Rene and Jake froze. The guilty look on their faces made Starbuck want to laugh. Instead he swirled the liquid in his glass, sighed and guessed now was as good time as any to broach the subject.
"Yeah, so I've been listening in on you two for a while. Thought it was a bit rude of me, but also a bit rude of you two, don't you think?" He cut Rene off as he assumed she was about to utter an apology, "Don't. Just thought you should know. It's okay, just…" he shrugged. "I'm not so jealous you two can't have a conversation in front me, you know that, right?"
It was Jake that replied, "That so? Mind if we have one now? Alone in your quarters?"
"Jake," Rene cautioned. "Don't goad him."
"Why the frack not? He's a big damn Colonial Hero, he can take it." Jake tossed back his ambrosia and strode from the OC. Starbuck took notice that Rene didn't move to follow him.
"You can go talk to him if you want, don't let me stop you," Starbuck said, taking a sip from his own glass.
"Wow, thanks for your permission. And what if I don't want to talk to him, is that okay too?"
Starbuck looked to her unsure where the anger was coming from. "Hey, it's you two that are having conversations on the sly. What did I do wrong?"
A spark of anger flared in her eyes. "Nothing, of course. What could you do wrong, oh Triad Champion and Warrior of the Centaur?"
She got up from her chair to leave and Starbuck reached out to grab her arm, confused as to what was going on. "I think you owe me an explanation."
She glared down at him and snarled, "Get your hand off me!" He held tight for a moment. It was the scrape of chairs and the standing up of several warriors that had him suddenly letting go, showing both hands in the air. "Just a misunderstanding," he said to the crowd now watching them. Starbuck was displeased to note not all of those coming to Rene's rescue were Warriors from the Zakar. Crius was closest to Rene, and he looked to her waiting for her reply.
"Stand down. Just a misunderstanding," she said to her friend then looked down to Starbuck, the anger still evident in her eyes. "I'm going to bed. Stay, enjoy your drink," before she walked out. Starbuck noticed that Crius motioned to his wife, and Lizbet followed Rene out of the OC. Starbuck started to get up too, but Crius called his name.
"Starbuck, wingmate, buddy, we need to talk." Crius waited until the two gals had left before he began. "A bit of advice, you need to learn how to fight different. See me and Lizzie, well I get as far as yelling and she fracking hits me, then curls up in a ball crying. Pretty much ends any chance of me being right. Ya can't touch them when you're fighting."
Max joined them at the table in the chair Rene had vacated. "You have to remember, we got flogged, they got fracked and flogged. They don't fight well, not with us anyway."
"I forgot for a micron," Starbuck offered in way of explanation. "It's her and Jake that are having private conversations. I don't know what the frack I did wrong."
"Yeah, you probably don't," Crius offered. "You just can't get between those two, that's all. They've known each other a long time and," Crius shrugged. "Yo Max, quick question, you knew her with Keenan, right?"
"Yeah, he was a buddy of mine."
"They ever fight? 'Cause I can't remember them ever fighting."
"Now that I think about it, no. I just thought they had nothing to fight about," Max added.
"Naw, every couple fights, just the nature of the thing. She fight with you yet, Starbuck?"
"Sort of. Yeah, I guess, I mean, I didn't know this was a fight. I guess, come to think of it, she pretty much either blazes forward with what she wants to do and ignores me or we get along."
"Uh huh," Crius analysed the situation like he was the troubleshooting technician. "That's not normal. Ya know that ain't, right? So she doesn't engage you, just flies by the enemy so to speak.
"Yeah, actually I would call what happened there progress," Jonas said taking another chair. "She didn't stab you."
Starbuck shot a look to Crius, but the man didn't ease his mind. "Yeah, you might want to sleep with the kids tonight."
"Anyone willing to tell me what I did wrong...before I grabbed her?" Starbuck asked, only half sarcastically.
"Well," Crius said noticing his glass was empty. "Buy me a round and I'll clue you in." Starbuck waved over a barmaid, and made sure they both had a round. Starbuck wasn't encouraged when everyone else suddenly got up from the table as if on cue.
"Uh…where you guys going?" Starbuck called to their retreating backs.
"They know the story and are not real pleased I'm going to tell you, so let them cut and run. The rats stick together, Starbuck. You and me, well, we won't ever totally be one of them. Just face that now. Hades, I learned that when Rene set this whole damn thing in motion and didn't include me."
"I'm not one of them, that's it, that's what I did wrong? Because last I checked, I haven't made that an issue."
"Oh, haven't you? Learned their code and joined in uninvited, didn't you?" Crius held up a hand to forestall Starbuck's justification. "Look, you don't need to worry about Rene and Jake. Maybe once, a long time ago, and yeah, sometimes they try again, but what goes on between them, I wouldn't call it viable. He picks up the pieces, he puts them back together, and he sends her on her way. She may think she and he could make it fly, but they are a viper missing more than an engine. Their wings are crippled. It hasn't been the same since the Zakar. There is just too many sectars of guilt between the two of them."
Starbuck was about to ask Crius to cut the felgercarb, but then the man did and Starbuck was back to wishing they were talking nonsense again. "One of Dante's men took a liking to Rene, probably just for a quick frack, I don't know, wasn't there for that. What I was there for is the fight Jake put up to stop it. For the record, Jake won because the rats know a few tricks. They don't fight fair. And the Commander, he wasn't pleased."
"Uh huh…we don't call him the commander, we call him the bastard, we agreed to that," Starbuck interjected, not sure he was liking the direction this story was going.
"Yeah, well, the guy put Jake and Rene on report. I don't think Dante would have known about Rene if it weren't for that. She is damn good at laying low when need be. Can blend into the walls I swear. But there she was in the commander's, I mean the bastard's office. He had Jake there too. He let the guy who wanted Rene beat the crap out of Jake. Made Rene beg for the guy to take her so he wouldn't kill Jake. Made Jake watch as he took Rene."
Starbuck felt his stomach turn. He reached for his drink hoping the liquid found there could numb some of what he was feeling. But Crius wasn't done and there wasn't enough ambrosia in the fleet for this conversation.
"Then the bastard had his turn, and, well neither of them will tell anyone how many after that. I just know they both were there for a few days and left that office bleeding and broken. Both are shouldering more guilt than anyone should. Rene thinks she should have just given in the first time. Jake thinks he should have killed the guy. And they talk about anything but that day. They felt responsible for each other before, but after that, you don't get between the two of them. They can't stand to be together, but they can't stand to be apart. You take on Rene, you take on Jake. You and he need to find a way to work this out or you might as well…." Crius didn't finish his sentence.
Starbuck looked into his glass for a moment before downing it.
"Didn't mean to spoil your evening, but you deserved to know."
Starbuck nodded, but didn't think the words ''thanks" fit the occasion. Starbuck wanted to ask who it was, the man who put them on report, but he was afraid the man might have made it to the fleet and then, well Starbuck would be looking at another tribunal for murder. He stuffed down the anger, and focused on the problem he could fix.
"So what do you suggest I do? Let the two of them keep at it? That's not helpful for either of them, nor for Rene and me. No, we have to do things differently, because the old way of doing things wasn't working for any of you."
"Yeah," Crius drawled out in a country boy twang, "We get that. Might be why we like having you around. We're working on different." Crius shrugged. "I guess spend some time with Jake. He needs a few friends since Ari. Not sure what his angle is with Cassie. We think he's got a bit of a crush on you actually."
That had Starbuck sitting back in shock. "Come again? He down right loathes me. Barely talks to me unless he has to."
"Yeah, you don't get the rats do you? Thought you would since you're a bit like them. Don't let anyone too close, so, you push them away before they can leave you. His parents were alive when he hit the orphanage system, Starbuck. The system took him away from his parents. Too much trouble, too many crimes, too many drugs. Easier and supposedly better for him to toss him in the system, let them deal with him. He's got one hades of a story to tell, but, I'll let him tell it. Maybe you should ask. See, I'm thinking you and Jake have a lot in common besides Rene." Crius nodded, before tossing a bit more of intel Starbuck's way. "Jake knows Rene's story too. Like I said, he puts her back together when she breaks. He knows how to get around the mine fields. He doesn't do it just to get her in bed either."
The comment was an intentional jab, and Starbuck wanted to be angry about it, but he was too stunned by the whole conversation to react. He just took the hit because he knew that considering his own past and stories to tell, it wasn't too far from the mark.
And at least Crius had the courtesy to apologize. "Sorry, cheap shot. Old habits die hard." He looked down and then Crius downed his drink. "Night, buddy," Crius drawled as he got up and patted Starbuck on the shoulder.
Starbuck stayed in the OC until closing time, not drinking, just thinking. He could have used Apollo's insight right about now, and would have hunted down Boomer at least, but Boomer had a late patrol. So Starbuck waited until closing time, and then debated sleeping in the council chambers or with the kids like Crius suggested, but he hadn't slept alone since they had rescued Rene and her people from Dilmun. No, he took a deep breath and faced their quarters.
He found Rene asleep but she wasn't alone. She had Kalea and Kiff in the bed with her. The boy, like his mother, was prone to nightmares. It was not the first time Starbuck had slept with Rene and her children. Starbuck stripped down to his boxers and climbed in to the bed, trying not to disturb the three of them, who seemed to be sleeping peacefully for now.
He had to admit, the more he learned about their time with the sadist of a Commander, the more he respected the Zakar pilots. It had been an insane situation, and they had survived so much. It was hard to mesh the story he'd been told with the peaceful young woman sharing his bed. He didn't want the visions that entered his head of her naked and men taking advantage of her. But he knew if he had had to be in Jake's position, watching with nothing he could do, it would kill him. He suspected that tonight, he'd be the one having nightmares.