James, Sirius, and Peter found Lily in the common room that night.

"Lily!" James called.

Lily looked up from her book with a disgruntled look.

"Can we talk for a moment?" he asked.

Lily groaned. "This better be important, Potter."

"It is!"

She set her book down on the common room table and walked over to James, Sirius, and Peter. "What?"

"So, we had a conversation with Minnie today," Sirius started, "which, by the way was totally hypothetical."

"So it never happened?" Lily asked, rolling her eyes.

"It happened, but we're calling it hypothetical. It's off record, as Muggles put it," James told her.

"We told her about our plan with the books," Peter said, lowering his voice, "and she hypothetically told us to talk with you. About a new plan."

Lily was silent. "Let me think about it. I'll have something in the morning," she finally said.

"Okay," James said.

At breakfast the next morning, Lily came up to James, Peter, and Sirius.

"I have an idea," she said.

"What is is?" James asked.

"When she lectures- what if we didn't listen? What if instead we…." Lily stopped talking.

"What?"

"What if we caused trouble? If she can't control us, she can't teach us," she finished.

"Lily Evans, did you just suggest we cause trouble?" Sirius asked in disbelief.

Lily sighed. "Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"There's still hope!" James said happily.

"Sod off, Potter."

"I'll go let Hufflepuff know," Peter said, then ran off to the Hufflepuff table.

"See you in class," James called as Lily stalked away.

Umbridge was waiting at the front of the room, ready to start her lesson.

"Too bad Remus isn't here," James muttered as they took their seats.

"Where is Remus?" Peter asked.

"He said he had stuff to do, remember?" James reminded him. Then, he, Peter, and Sirius split up, taking seats as far away from each other as possible.

A few minutes later, the class had taken their seats. Umbridge began the lecture when-

"Oh no! I forgot to do my homework, Sirius! What should I do?" James shouted across the room.

"I don't know!" Sirius yelled back.

"Come on mate! You have to help me!"

"I can't! I forgot to do mine too! You see, I was mourning the eggs Peter stole from me at breakfast! They would have tasted so good, but alas! They are gone!"

"Peter, why did you steal Sirius's eggs? If you hadn't stolen his eggs, he would have his homework done and he could have helped me!" James cried, now looking to Peter.

"Boys," Umbridge started, but got no further.

"I-I-I did it because Lily dared me to!" Peter squeaked. "It was her fault."

James turned to Lily. "Evans, how could you? You knew that if you had Peter steal Sirius's eggs, then I wouldn't do my homework! You know that I love you, but I cannot forgive you for this terrible deed!"

At this point, most of the class was hiding grins or clutching their stomachs' as they laughed.

Lily didn't move.

James glared at her.

She rolled her eyes then added in. "Listen, Potter, I don't want your forgiveness! I want you to fail, be expelled, and then I can finally get some peace! You and your gang- minus Remus, and sometimes Peter- are always up to something! It always lands you in detention and loses Gryffindor points! I'm sick of it! Also, these speeches about your love for me? Forget it! The relationship you and I have is like the relationship of Sirius and McGonagall: It doesn't exist!"

"How dare you!" Sirius screeched. "My heart is breaking!" He promptly fell out of his desk and onto the floor, shaking with suppressed laughter.

"Mr. Black!" Umbridge yelled.

"You killed him!" James roared. "You're going to pay for that! Sirius! Sirius can you hear me?"

"Tell Remus goodbye for me!" Sirius shouted, then stopped moving.

"Mr. Black!" Umbridge yelled again.

No one heard her. They were too busy laughing.

"Detentions for all of you! Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew, Ms. Evans! Tonight, 5:00!"

"I'm going to get you, Evans!" James was still going on. He strode towards Lily and made to punch her.

He didn't have the chance.

"Immobulus!"

James was rooted to the spot.

The class went silent at once.

"Mr. Potter," Umbridge sneered, "You're coming with me. Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew, and Ms. Evans are too."

"You've killed him! He isn't breathing, Professor! I can't see him breathing! James, come back! Don't die on me!" Sirius had stopped playing dead. He rushed over to where James and Umbridge stood, vaulting over desks to get there.

"He's simply immobilized," Umbridge told him.

"He's dead!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically.

"No, he's not," Umbridge snapped, then waved her wand. James stumbled forward.

"James! Thank god you're alright!"

James ignored Sirius. "You bloody bast-"

Umbridge silenced him. "Come with me."

Umbridge led them to McGonagall's office. She rapped her fist sharply on the door.

McGonagall opened it.

"Minnie!" Sirius whispered. "Minnie, you need to leave! She tried to kill James! She'll kill you, too!"

McGonagall stared at him.

"Minerva, we need to talk," Umbridge interrupted.

McGonagall back up, allowing Umbridge into her office.

"No! No, Minnie, no! It's a trap!"

"Mr. Black, I think you forget that I've been teaching here for many years," McGonagall reminded him. With that, she closed the door.