It had been three sectars since the expansion of the fleet and the jump away from the battle of Dilmun. The fleet was settling into their new normal and things were looking up for everyone. The Copper Squadron had passed their second training with flying colors and only had a few more to go. Starbuck had been able to convince Apollo to request Captain Pallus to help him on the Zakar, and the Rats seemed to breathe a lot easier without the Captain running the trainings.

More importantly, he and Rene had actually begun talking a bit about the future and what it might bring. They had both found a way to fit into their schedules a bit more time for fun with the kids, but more importantly time for themselves. Starbuck had talked with the Commander about helping out with that, suggested maybe it was time he had one of his famous dinners. Adama knew exactly why Starbuck might make such a request. Adama agreed but not before putting his arm around the Lieutenant and asking quietly, "Are you sure son?"

He was sure. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but life was too short, ended too quick and too soon. He didn't want to waste any more time wondering if it was the right thing or the wrong thing. Tomorrow would hold those answers, he was more worried about living today. Adama smiled at him and while he might not have actually been Starbuck's father it was nice to pretend he was for that moment. Adama arranged a dinner and sent out the invitations.

It was supposed to be a fun evening and a celebration of the new ships added to the fleet. The current sector had provided many supplies, and the various hydroponic projects had yielded their first foods. Starbuck had been looking forward to showing members of his new family what his life was like with his old family. More importantly he wanted to bring up with Rene a date for the sealing and toast the decision with his friends, as well as to ask Adama to officiate. Rene was looking stunning in a dress she had borrowed, one that covered a bit more skin than the last dress he had seen her in. It was pretty green that brought out her eyes. She looked perfect for a sealing announcement celebration. He found he wasn't the least bit nervous like everyone said he should be. He had hoped Rene would share his enthusiasm.

Instead, he was dealing with a tense Rene who barely spoke to him and seemed to be arguing with her friends. It was obvious that Crius was uncomfortable in the room as he constantly tugged at the fastenings for his cape while his wife Lizbet glared at him. Starbuck tried to ignore the hand signals Jake was flashing at Rene. It had been more than a few sectons since the two had moved their conversations to the public realm, speaking out loud versus sly hand signals on the side, but this dinner with Adama had them back to the bad habit. Maybe it was the room packed with "Galacticans" as Rene and the family were calling them. Maybe it was just the pressure of the officers filling the room, but this was not turning into the fun evening Starbuck had planned.

Adama had moved in several tables to accommodate the crowd, Bojay and Athena, Apollo and Sheba, Boomer and Dietra, plus Cassiopeia, as well as Siress Tinia. With Crius and Lizbet, Gage, plus Max as well; it was no small affair. Rene had maneuvered her and Starbuck farther down the table than he normally would have been, and wanted to be closer to Adama for his announcement. But he didn't complain about it since he was still seated beside Apollo so they could catch up. The talk of the overhaul on the Zakar held his interest, plus he was curious about how the different crews were getting along, especially with the transfers Starbuck had recommended. He hoped the shift in officers had resolved some ongoing issues left over from Dante's influence.

Starbuck wasn't sure how much longer he'd let the sly hand sign conversation go on, but he did notice that Rene was doing her best to ignore Jake, waving him off. Starbuck didn't appreciate the distraction as he had wanted to hear Apollo's story and maybe after suggest the sealing date. But Jake seemed insistent, knocking on the table to get Rene's attention. Jake signed fast, an abbreviated form of their code. All Starbuck caught was the sign for injury. That got his full attention.

Rene waved her hand, their sign for nothing, brushing Jake off again, and turned back to Starbuck, giving him a smile as an apology. "Injury?" Starbuck whispered.

Rene just shook her head at him as she rolled her eyes. "It's nothing."

Jake knocked on the table again, calling her name, but she ignored him, trying to keep her attention on Starbuck and the conversation he was having with Apollo. Her eyes narrowed as Jake's cloth napkin hit her in the side of her face and bounced back on to the table.

"Jake! What the fra…" Rene restrained the curse, suddenly conscious that she was sitting at Adama's table.

"Where did you get the cut?" Jake asked unaffected by the angry glare from both Rene and Starbuck.

"Working, alright? Would you knock it off?" She turned her attention back to Starbuck and Apollo, but Jake was determined to get an answer. Without warning, he chucked his glass at Rene, liquid flying. She batted it aside before it could hit her. The glass bounced down the table toward the commander, interrupting the conversations around the room.

"Dammit, Jake!" Rene shouted. "Could you at least try to not act like an animal!"

Jake ignored the insult as he spoke loudly and slowly. "Where did you get the cut?!"

"Working, I don't know. Let it go."

"And the other one? Where did that one come from?"

"Jake, it's no big deal." Rene blushed, realizing that the table's full attention was on their conversation.

"No big deal? Really, how many? Let's ask your boyfriend there how many cuts you have, huh?"

"And let's ask your girlfriend how many drinks you've had tonight?" Rene countered.

"Rene, how many? A few, or more like a dozen?" Jake shouted, ignoring her attempt to change the focus of the conversation. He quickly reached across the table, snatched at her hand, shoving the sleeve of her dress down, revealing several cuts to her right arm. He snarled, "Frack this Felgercarb! We don't hurt ourselves! That's the deal! I need you to be okay!"

Rene's voice rose in pitch and volume as she yanked her arm away. "I know, I know I KNOW! You don't think I know!" She took a breath, and closed her eyes shutting out those around the table before focusing back on Jake in a calmer voice. "I know. Look, you can drink and smoke and …." She didn't fill in the blank for those in the room, "to deal with all this, but I am watched every centon. I'm the only one sober at this table alright, so cut me some slack."

She winced at Starbuck's "Rene?" but he was cut off by both Jake and Rene barking in unison, "Stay out of it!" It stunned him into an embarrassed silence.

"Cut you some slack so you can cut yourself? What, I'm just supposed to let you slice yourself up, is that it, while you sit there and fake you are okay so you can impress the Colonials?" Jake raised his arm to shrug off Cassiopeia's touch to remind him of the packed room. "I don't fracking care who's listening!" he hissed at her before turning back to Rene. "We don't hurt ourselves! That's the deal we made."

"I've got to deal with it some way and I can't get drunk like all of you every night. This, this I can control so I can feel it and…and keep it together and not feel it. It's not hurting you so what the frack do you care?"

"Don't you dare! You know why I'm putting up with this felgercarb with the Colonials, for the kids, for you, because I fracking care! And this isn't all you are doing. How many pain pills you sucking down?"

"Half as many as you, buddy. If you weren't all on something, I wouldn't be able to find anything."

Crius tried to interject into what was gearing up to be a nasty reveal of all their bad habits in front of people who might do something about them. "We all are trying to deal with it. We all miss Ari."

Rene cut off whatever else he was going to say. "I don't. I'm glad he's dead. One less person I have to take care of."

The gasp from Lizbet should have been a warning, but Rene kept going, shifting her focus back to Jake. "Yeah, I cut myself, a few slices here and there so I don't cut their throats. I mean what's the point? It's just a matter of time before we all go. The cylons find us again and…Fracking hate this ship. Nowhere to go, no room, and one good hit to the hull and the kids will be gasping like piscons trapped in a barrel. Nothing we can do about it. Maybe it would be easier if I just finished them all off now? So, I cut myself instead, alright? Keeps the walls from closing in. The only one I'm hurting is myself so what the frack do you care?"

The confession chilled the room, but only for a micron as Jake launched himself across the table. Plates and glasses went flying as he tried to cross the divide with his intent to grab Rene, his right hand clenched in a fist. Crius and Cassiopeia hauled him back as Rene shoved away from the table, more dishes tumbling as she pushed the table into those across from her.

Jake began shouting as he fought off the arms trying to shove him into his chair. "Shut the frack up! Don't you fracking dare! We don't hurt each other, we don't hurt ourselves. We had a fracking deal!"

Rene answered in a voice just as loud, but surprisingly more controlled. "I didn't mean it. I didn't. Came out wrong. Not what I meant. I wouldn't. You know that. I wouldn't."

Jake growled as Crius shoved him back from the table. Jake held up his hands to those trying to haul him down as he took a deep breath and shook them off as calmly as he could. He took a breath, looked towards the commander at the head of the table, lowering his voice, before turning back to Rene.

"You better not. I'll cut you myself."

Without a word to his date or anyone else at the table, he pushed the chair back, toppling it, and stalked from the room, with Rene calling out to his retreating back, "I didn't mean it."

Cassiopeia politely thanked the Commander in a low voice before she followed after Jake. The room was still silent, and Starbuck tried to think of something to say to break the tension, took a breath and before he could speak, Rene's voice halted him.

"Sorry. I apologize." She got up to leave also, but Starbuck reached out a hand, lightly touching her. He saw her effort to choke back a bark. "Don't. You were looking forward to this. You should enjoy the meal. Sorry I ruined it."

She headed for the door so quickly Starbuck couldn't get up to halt her, calling to her retreating back, "Rene?"

It was Colonel Gage's voice that stopped her.

"Lieutenant, we need to talk."

Rene spun, focusing her anger. "This doesn't concern you! You made that clear."

Gage's voice softened as he used her name. "Rene, you're allowed to mourn. You're allowed to cry."

Her head snapped up in a sarcastic shock. "Oh wow, thanks, Colonel. Do I need to fill out a form for that emotion, or will you log the request? What other emotions am I allowed to have, sir? Do I need to requisition those too?"

"Rene," his tone turned to one of warning.

The grinding of her teeth was an audible sound before she spoke again. "Tell me again how this is better? Detail it out for me, would you? Because this isn't better than what I had planned. Had you just let me go with my plan I wouldn't be breathing this smelly air. I swear there is something wrong with your recyclers!"

She turned back to the door, but Gage stopped her again. "Lieutenant, where are you going?"

She slammed her fist into the wall beside the door as the panel opened. "Nowhere. I'm going nowhere."

The room was quiet and Starbuck mumbled that he should probably go after her but Crius threw out his country boy drawl, "Naw, not yet."

Commander Adama took command of the situation, asking Starbuck, "If you could wait. I'm sure she is just going to speak with her friend. I have some questions for you."

"Sir, I don't think this is about…well Starbuck can't really answer much, I mean," Lizbet spoke up quietly, nervous to be adding her voice to a room full of officers, "well sir, see, um, that was long overdue."

Crius jumped in to her rescue. "Oh yeah, really overdue. I think that's a record. I don't think those two have ever gotten along this long, ya know? Whooeee, we're just lucky they didn't break some plates.

"What do you mean?" Starbuck asked.

Crius looked to Lizbet. "You've known them longer, you tell the story better."

Lizbet turned to the table to explain, "They're that couple, you know. If they're not fracking, they're fighting. And they're not fracking, so. I mean, they fight all the time."

Gage filled in, "It's why I called them the Gutter Snipes. Jake and Rene snipe at each other constantly, little insults and jabs. They fight over nearly everything. Fist fights sometimes even. Had to break up more than a few even on duty."

"Yeah, I think this is the longest they've gone without fighting, longer than after Kenan and when Dante…" Crius didn't finish his thought.

"They've always been like that. Even before on Caprica, they'd pick on each other and argue about everything." Lizbet filled in the background for the group at the table. "We all went to school together. Even when they were a couple, they were that couple who fought all the time. You could almost time the evening by the fight. The only time they didn't bicker was when they were playing."

"Playing?" Starbuck asked, a little concerned at the word.

"We had a band. Played clubs around Caprica City. I'm on keyboard, Nik on drums, Jake and Rene have guitars. Ari played bass."

Crius cut in. "They're actually pretty good. Not my kind of music, a little loud and don't expect a love ballad, but not bad."

"Oh," Starbuck found himself realizing once again he knew very little about the woman he wanted to wed.

"Anyway, they fight all the time. Always have. Some people think it's because they've known each other for so long, but I think," Lizbet shrugged, "they're just that couple, you know. Day one they fought. It's like forepl…." Lizbet halted the crude comment, blushed before she went on, "It's just how they are. I mean, the rest of us got used to it and if they're not fighting, well, then you know something is wrong. I mean even their cutesy names for each other are insults, like stupid and stinky or…well you get the idea."

"Yeah, I guess," Starbuck answered not liking the explanation. He and Rene were a couple, not her and Jake. "And they've not been fighting." Starbuck pieced together the problem.

"They've not been doing anything," Lizbet reassured him. "Since Ari, they called a truce of sorts. They do that sometimes, stop fighting when things aren't okay. I mean, she's trying, and he's trying. We're all trying."

Adama chose to enter the conversation. As Commander, many comments had worried him. "Is what Rene indicated about the alcohol consumption true? How much and what exactly is being consumed in those chambers?"

Starbuck answered, tossing Crius in the line of fire. "I thought it was none, so you'll have to ask Crius."

Crius tugged at the collar of his uniform before he answered. "Not that much. I mean, just having what fun we're allowed, you know. Duties are done, no details missed. Just enough for fun. Nothing illegal"

"So what has Rene been doing for fun?" Gage interjected

It was Lizbet that answered. "You mean other than doing Starbuck?"

"Hey!" Starbuck defended himself, not enjoying the chuckles from Apollo and Boomer.

Gage just shot a harsh look to Lizbet before looking to Starbuck for an answer.

"That's what tonight was supposed to be about," Starbuck shrugged, but Gage shook his head no.

"No, I mean fun. These are kids in their 20s. These dinners are not fun for them." Gage turned to the Commander, "I apologize, sir, but I have threatened to bust them to cadets if they do not attend these events. They are young and this is not their version of relaxation." He turned back to Crius and Lizbet. "Anything?"

Lizbet shrugged, and Crius shook his head before answering, "We've all been busy and we live on officer row, so yeah, we've kept it pretty low key. A few card games, mostly playing with the kids."

"Please tell me you have not left her alone with the children," Apollo asked.

It was Lizbet that replied, "No, we've all been taking turns. I don't think anyone has been alone with them. If she's not around Starbuck, well, she's sleeping."

Gage straightened in alarm. "Sleeping? Nothing else?"

Lizbet shook her head. "On duty, with Starbuck or, in her bunk."

Gage turned to Starbuck. "Where's her weapon?"

"What? Usually on her, like most pilots. Tonight, in our…her quarters."

Gage shook his head no. "She hasn't worn her weapon in over a secton."

That rocked Starbuck back in his seat. He hadn't noticed, just assumed it was on her, and suddenly embarrassed he didn't honestly know. It was Lizbet's whisper to Crius that drew all their attention. "I told you. You should have told him."

"Told me what?" Starbuck narrowed his eyes at his new wing mate.

Crius sighed. "I took care of it. You don't need to worry about it."

"Yeah," Starbuck drawled out imitating Crius's country boy twang, "about that. Why don't you tell me why you have her weapon and let me decide for myself if I should worry about it."

Lizbet uttered again, "I told you."

Crius nodded to his wife. "Alright, I hear ya. I found Rene mid sleep cycle in the council room. I was looking for some food and, well, she was staring down the barrel of her weapon."

"WHAT! When?" Starbuck cried in alarm.

Lizbet spoke to him. "Starbuck, you sleep hard. It's not your fault."

"You found her debating shooting herself and you didn't think it was important to tell me?" Starbuck turned back to Gage and the Commander. "Now can I go find her?"

Crius interjected, "She told me she wouldn't do it. First thing she said."

"Oh, well great. Just great. But you took her weapon anyways, because I mean, you just trust her, right?"

"Well, yeah, I mean…I don't think she would, but yeah, I took her weapon. So, it's fine."

"OH yeah, this is just great. I sleep hard. I also have a weapon, and it's fine!" Starbuck's voice rose as he considered the worst case scenario. He let out a deep breath before continuing. "So, she's pretending to enjoy going to dinners with us, and faking that she's fitting in. How many other things is she just doing because we want her to do them?" His own words hit him like a blast of cold water, causing him to stop talking.

It was Gage that replied when the silence became uncomfortable. "She's a gutter snipe, her life was complicated before the destruction. I'm not totally sure she even knows how to have a real relationship."

Starbuck didn't miss a beat in flinging back his own criticism. "She uses you Gage. Uses your guilt over Dante and, well, everything between you two so she can get what she wants out of you."

Lizbet abruptly got up. "Wow, and now you geniuses figured out why we don't like to come to these things."

Crius reached for her. "Honey, where you going? What? Oh, thanks guys. There goes my evening too." He followed his wife from the room, calling to her to wait up.

Adama waited until the couple were out of the room before he addressed Starbuck and Gage. "That will be enough out of you two. It is not productive for solving our problems. The question remains, what has Rene been up to. She spends most of her time with you, Starbuck. How are things going?"

"They were fine before the trainings started up. I told you they needed a break, but you tossed them right into classes and," he sighed, "I think I kind of freaked her out at the triad tourney on the Rising Star. Don't think she figured on the IFB and all the attention that got her. We spend a lot of time together with Lizbet and Crius and then there's the OC, but then I was on report and…" He shrugged, not wanting to detail out all the problems she was having at night.

Gage interrupted. "Yeah, that's not like her though. On Dilmun, she was a pretty solitary creature."

Apollo nodded. "When she was with us, she often roamed, quite far actually, often hiking many clicks from our home. She was a very aloof creature."

"She's not a creature!" Starbuck spat. "She's a woman and maybe had anybody asked her, she would have wanted some company. I think…I think that's why things are different. I ask her. I don't make her do anything she doesn't want to do. I ask and I listen. Which brings up a good point actually. Did anyone ask the Rats if they wanted to stay in the service?"

"I don't like that term," Adama scolded before shifting to the question, "I don't understand, Starbuck."

"Yeah, no one does, I bet. See, they didn't go to the Academy."

"We already know that," Apollo added.

"Nooo, you don't know. What I mean is they didn't want to be military when they were on Caprica. They were rescued, drafted, and now they're here and no one bothered to ask them if they wanted to stay in the military. Everyone just assumed since they were trained as pilots, they wanted to stay pilots. And then, no offense, Commander, you tossed them into trainings to be pilots. But no one really asked them if that's what they wanted."

"Are you saying they don't wish to remain in the Colonial Service?" Adama sat back, realizing he may have made many more mistakes than this one by simply following Dante's command decisions regarding his troops.

"Some of them don't. Lizbet I'm sure wants out. And Jake probably does too. Or at least he'd rather be a Med Tech, which is why he's been hanging around Cassie. Rene, well, she won't really answer me when I ask. Just says she's good at it, when she can fly that is. She's not liking shuttles, that much I know. But you see, I asked."

"You make a good point, Starbuck. We have just made some command decisions for them, and perhaps in the past, too many of those decisions were not in their best interest." Adama gave Colonel Gage a fatherly look. Gage looked away.

"It was what was best for our fleet, to make them pilots. They had an aptitude. Is that not what the Academy does? Places warriors in the jobs that fit their abilities?"

"He has a point." Apollo added, "Even had the destruction not occurred, they may have joined the service or been forced in due to a plea bargain for a crime."

"Maybe, but you see, that's still a choice. You can choose the prison colony or Colonial service. They didn't even get that choice. See, believe it or not, I chose the service. Applied, took the tests, ran the laps. All my choice," Starbuck replied. "Yeah, kind of steered that way by the foster system, but, still my choice. I could have been a used hover mobile salesman had I wanted to. I had an aptitude for that as well. That's all I'm saying. They didn't choose this life. There's a lot Rene's dealing with she didn't choose. Being pregnant for one," Starbuck turned back to the commander. "I didn't think to ask about birth control because our Life Center sees that the gals have what they need. I assumed and I should have asked."

"Thank you for that admission," Adama nodded to Starbuck. "And you make a valid point. Our assuming could have some unforeseen consequences. Perhaps we should begin asking some questions, and listen to the answers. For example, Rene's complaints about the quality of our air actually yielded a problem. I found out that the filters in many compartments have not been changed out in yahrens. It seems the squadron barracks went through several of them, especially blue squadron."

Boomer laughed, "We couldn't take the cigar smoke permeating the place. I heard there hasn't been a problem with that since Starbuck's departure."

"I can't help it if you guys don't have any appreciation for the finer things in life." Starbuck shot back.

Adama smiled. "Rene and the Copper squadron are utilizing quarters that Sire Uri once inhabited. I have no doubt that they may have an unpleasant odor."

Apollo choked on the drink he had just reached for. "Father, did you just make a joke?"

"You know, son, you've had a stick up your spine since I promoted you. You should do something about that."

"I'm going to find Rene now." Starbuck began heading for the door, then stopped and turned to her friends. "Where will she go?"

"Gym," Max and Gage answered, and Starbuck cursed that he didn't know that, but they did.

"Starbuck," Adama stopped him as the door opened. "If you could take your weapons to my office, just to be on the safe side, and I want her in the Life Station before morning. Some medications might be in order right now. I think we will overlook any methods you need to use to get her there."

Starbuck quirked an eyebrow at him, wanted to utter a quip like "Are you doubting my powers of persuasion?" But instead he just nodded. He had hoped to solve some of the problems before command got involved, but he suddenly realized this might be out of his hands.

He found her in the gym near the triad courts, the one most pilots used. She was on a treadmill, a click into a run and not looking like she was going to stop anytime soon, music pods in her ears. Starbuck pondered what to do, and decided based on Rene's laser focus, he had the time to hit the locker room and strip himself down for a run. He was pleased to find she hadn't left, and he took the treadmill beside her, cuing up his own run. It took at least a quarter click before she noticed him there with a glance, and then disregarded him. They ran in tandem for at least three clicks before Starbuck realized that this run had gone beyond good mental therapy, to one of a punishing pace. Her stride hadn't slowed, and now she was pushing hard, head down. He let her go another full click before he slowed down his run, and reached over to lower the pace on her machine. She looked up to him annoyed, and reached to push the pace back up. Starbuck just reached over and pushed the buttons down again. She did a quarter click of warm down before she abruptly jumped off and started to head for the locker room. Starbuck reached for her arm, holding her lightly, saying her name softly even though he knew she may not be able to hear her over the blaring music in her ears.

He was rewarded with her pulling the earbuds out. "Look, I'm sorry. I fracked up the night okay. I didn't mean it, any of it."

He just nodded. "I know. I'm the king of saying what I didn't mean. Doesn't mean we can't still have a good evening. Will you do me a favor, just one, alright?"

She closed her eyes and sighed. He rubbed his hand on her arm to get her attention. "It won't hurt, I promise."

She sighed and nodded. "I owe you that much. Okay, what do you want?"

He smiled the one he saved for her, not his megavolton smile, the one she called his sunny day smile. "Clean up and I have somewhere I want us to go, please." He purred the please the way she liked and was happy to see her shiver.

She sighed and nodded. "Ten centons, meet you in the corridor."

She was a little late, but she looked in a better mood, or at least was trying to be. He figured she was merely complying to salvage the date she had ruined. He didn't want to use guilt to get her where he wanted. He had not tried that even once since the brig on Dilmun. He knew too well the things she did out of obligation, and had vowed he wouldn't become something she felt she had to do.

He took the risk and dove into dangerous territory. He leaned in to kiss her and felt her melt a bit more. He took her hand. "I know just the right place. You're going to love it." He took her to the simulators. That had always worked for Starbuck when he was truly annoyed or upset. Nothing quite like blasting Cylons to pieces, even if they were pretend. She didn't question his choice of locations, just took the seat beside him and the two ran formations and mock battles for more than a centaur. He let her take the lead mostly because he wasn't going to let her take the lead once they left this room. He wanted her feeling some control for now, before he took some of that control away.

He waited for her to decide they were done, that it was time they headed back to the family and get some sleep. They were powering down the simulators when he asked, "One more favor, not for me, for everyone else, alright?"

He saw her hesitate, close her eyes before she answered with a low soft sigh.

"I need to take you the Life Center." He reached out a hand to hold her fast as she backed away. "I know you're fine. I do. But the Commander ordered it. The things you said can't just be ignored, Rene."

She winced and he saw the walls raise, the doors slam as she mumbled, "I didn't mean it."

"I know. But Jake sometimes knows more than I do. He said something about painkillers and I've been missing a few. And I know about the drinks you sneak when I'm not looking, and I haven't made a fuss, have I? I'm just glad it's not the stims, alright? So maybe…since you're self-medicating," her head shot up and she glared at him, but he didn't let it deter him, "that some prescribed medications might help some. At least get it right." He tightened his grip on her with one hand, but reached out gently to stroke her face with the other. "I know this isn't what you wanted. I'm sorry."

He knew the words were a cheap trick. It's why he chose them. Any time he apologized, Rene turned it around on herself, felt worse than he did for the apology. She shouldered the blame, and he shoved some more on her shoulders hoping the weight would get her to ask for help. "It's not your fault," she said quietly.

"I know. But it doesn't change that Ari's dead and you are stuck here on the Galactica." He felt bad for the direct hit as she physically winced at his words. He felt worse for what he needed to say next, but he kept going. "I know you being pregnant is my fault. It screwed up a lot of plans you had. I know you wanted to get rid of it…" She began to object, but he kept going, "and you didn't. You had to give up a lot to keep the baby and I don't mean just drinking." He didn't want to voice all the other things or people she had probably given up for him.

"I know you don't want to do this. But for me, for the baby, would you please go with me to the Life Center? Let us help?"

He waited for her answer, but he didn't let go. If she didn't agree, well he planned to haul her over his shoulder kicking and fighting. She looked to him before she nodded, must have seen his determination. She didn't speak, just waved a hand down the corridor towards the Life Center sarcastically and let him take the lead. Fine, he thought. If she needs it to look like he dragged her there, so be it.

Starbuck was grateful once there that Salik had already received a call from the Commander. He asked only a few questions, which was probably for the best as Rene didn't look like she was going to answer anything in depth, just responding in a quiet yes and no to anything he asked. He put the medication into Starbuck's hand, with a warning that while Rene may look calm and cooperative, to not let it fool him. Salik pulled Starbuck aside and gave him hypo of a strong sedative to take with him.

"She's not sleeping," was all Salik would say before going back and speaking to Rene. "I expect to see you tomorrow. You're off the duty roster. Flight status for shuttles pulled. Don't need you taking down a shuttle full of people."

It earned them the longest sentence she'd ever said in the Life Center. "I wouldn't do that."

Salik's gruff voice answered. "Good. See that you don't. Get some sleep."

She didn't fight Starbuck on the way to their quarters. She let him undo the ties to her dress and help her get ready for bed. Once there, he undressed and pulled her into his arms. She reached for him to initiate what they'd been doing a lot in this bed, but he kept the kiss short and sweet before he quietly told her she needed some sleep.

"It was supposed to be a fun night. I ruined it," she mumbled turning away sadly. He pulled her to him spooning her and nuzzled her neck. He whispered gently into her ear, "There will be other nights, I promise," before he pressed the hypo against her neck. She gave a slight "oh," of betrayal before she relaxed in his arms. There were no nightmares that night and he knew he probably should have asked for help with that issue sooner. He'd never been good at asking for help: another thing they had in common.