Rene had sat there at the table for several centons after Starbuck had stormed out. It was realizing that both Jake and Boomer were watching her that made her finally break the silence.
"Okay, so, that didn't go so well." She reached for the ring box Starbuck had left on the table.
Jake chuckled. "Well he didn't kill you, so I would call that progress."
"Give him time to cool off," Boomer added. "He will come to his senses and see what we need to do."
Rene nodded and sighed before getting to her feet to go find Starbuck.
"You sure that's a good idea?" Jake asked, but Rene knew he was also asking if she still needed his help.
"Yeah. He will stew and blow this really out of proportion if I don't." She looked to Boomer for confirmation.
"He'll yell, he'll hit the walls, but he won't hit you," Boomer said, but Jake looked skeptical.
She decided she'd have to go with her gut on this one, and it was telling her she probably deserved a good hit or two. She could take it.
She knew where to find him. Maybe in the past she would have looked in the Officer's club, but that was before he had joined the family. Now his time was spent in the council chambers playing dad to all the kids. But he'd be too angry to deal with the kids now. No, she knew where to find him. Despite all the time they spent together, he still managed to make time for Triad.
She headed for the courts to find Starbuck already suited up and practicing hard. She found a seat in the dark gallery where she could see him, but he couldn't see her, not yet anyway. He had some anger to blow off, and she didn't blame him.
She hadn't meant to lie to him. Hades, she hadn't meant to keep jumping back to Caprica. She had planned to go the once, just one trip for the dress and the ring. She had felt so much guilt over Starbuck trying to afford a dress and a sealing of their dreams, that she had tried to find a dress on her own in the fleet, but dresses were a rare commodity. Starbuck had turned it into his own personal mission. He had wanted to please her so much and lords help her, she couldn't deal with it. She knew he was trying to be romantic and sweet, but it unnerved her.
Doctor Dixon said she was just reacting due to her past and the abuse and she didn't want to admit that, not yet. So, she tried to make him happy in return and let him be romantic and sweet. She had hoped to make things easier on him because she knew she hadn't been all that he had hoped for when they first met. Maybe because the fleet wasn't all she had hoped for and she found herself longing for what was supposed to be the plan, escaping to a planet and starting over, not floating in space like piscons in a barrel. Things had not been easy between her and Starbuck like they should be. He deserved better than her, deserved more than a sewer rat.
Added to the equation were all the other girlfriends Starbuck had and their constant evaluation of her and him, the advice from everyone on how this was supposed to be. She knew how many eyes were watching and waiting for this sealing, most hoping it would never happen. It would be the event of the yahren and she wanted Starbuck to have the day that he wanted.
One jump, that's all it was supposed to be. One romantic gesture and she knew just where to go, the shopping center near the outskirts of Caprica she had visited when she lived with Commander Adama's family in a quiet suburb that surely would hold no interest for the Cylon empire with its quiet streets and green spaces in between homes. The center had high priced clothing and jewelry stores and she would get nothing but the best for Starbuck. Maybe she'd even find some aged ambrosia and fumarellos for him. The sealing would be a day to remember, mostly because half the fleet never thought it would happen for THE Starbuck. The pressure was a bit much, but she could do this, she could make it more than he had hoped for.
One trip, that's all it should have been. It had gone just as she had hoped. The anomaly opened, and she slid through easily to wind up in empty skies right above the quiet neighborhood, the shopping center easy to spot. Her prayers were answered and she wondered once again if the Lords were trying to make up to her for Ari. Well she'd take it.
She gave herself thirty centons and knew that was an impossibly short amount of time to get in the center and get what she needed and get out. The funny part is she didn't even need that long. The dress shop was near where she landed and as luck would have it, sealing dresses were apparently not high on the list of resources needed for the Cylon empire, or the survival of the human race.
The store had hundreds of dresses in the back room, all encased in plastic and nearly perfect despite the three yahrens of destruction and neglect. It was a bit overwhelming at first how the worlds could be destroyed in a just a few days, but these dresses were still here, a reminder of all the sealings that wouldn't occur, the families that wouldn't be created. It was pointless and pathetic.
She almost just turned and walked away, but then there it was, a dress she never would have ever afforded in her old life. It was covered in crystals and silky flowers, and in the box was the veil as well. It was even the right size. She grabbed it and realized that it might not even fit in the viper. The dress was voluminous and it would be awkward enough just carrying it to the fighter craft. Talk about a target too, with the ivory and lace and crystals winking in the sun. She hadn't thought this through. That's what took the longest, debating if she should take it and see if it would fit, and if it didn't she could just ditch it there. Only she suddenly found she couldn't bear to ditch it. It was perfect.
She decided then, she'd have to make another trip with a shuttle and a viper. She knew Jake would be up for it, especially once he knew the profit they could make. She left the dress and headed for the jewelry store. Her next item would fit in her viper. Things there weren't as pristine as the dress shop. Displays had been smashed and most were empty. Rene wasn't too worried as she knew the best rings were often stored below the counters in locked cabinets. She pulled her laser and aimed at one the locks.
It was the discharge of her laser that suddenly had her worried. Everything had been silent before that, but as soon as she blasted open the locked case, she suddenly heard footsteps running. Hastily she had slid under the display case, her heart pounding and cursing herself for being so damn stupid. If someone took her viper or shot it up, she was stuck here forever. Starbuck would kill her. The only thing that kept her from sprinting straight for her viper was the fact that it had been footsteps, not the clomping and drone of a Cylon. It was human, or was it? "Just an animal of some kind," she reasoned to herself. She listened and the steps receded and were gone. She poked her head around the counter.
That's when she saw it there amongst the broken glass and debris from the store. A blue stone winked at her. She dug it out of the dirt and grime. It was perfect. She blew on it and polished it with her sleeve. She went to put it in her pocket, but decided instead to get a box for it. Starbuck deserved to know it was new and not some dead man's ring, a hand me down of some kind. No one had worn this ring. It was meant only for him. It was the best she could do for romance.
It had taken her longer than thirty centons, mostly because she decided since she was there and risking her life, she should probably get something more than just a ring. She grabbed some other jewelry and shoved it in her pockets, earrings, necklaces, pendants, chains, enough gifts to last a lifetime for the family. She debated heading for the toy store three doors down. It killed her to do it, but she knew she'd have to make another trip, so she high tailed it to her viper, which she found right where she left it. Maybe had she not been in such a hurry she may have noticed the foot prints that weren't hers. But she wouldn't notice those until the next trip.
Afraid she'd be found out and that would be the end of it, she didn't wait long for the next trip. Getting a viper off the Shiva had been the problem. Gage had allowed the first knowing she was itching to fly and well, he still felt guilty about forcing her into the therapy sessions. She had to beg for the second, had to tell him what she was really going for, and he insisted on joining her. It was Gage who had noticed the fresh foot prints, and it was Gage who found the message in the dirt, a simple "Hello?" It had been easier with some back up, and yet, felt even riskier as Gage reminded her that two individuals were as bad as one. Should one watch the viper and shuttle, while the other explored? That left both warriors exposed. Now it was not just her life she was endangering; it was also Gage's. The fleet needed Gage. Rene, well they could miss her. Might even be best for Starbuck, let him out of the impulsive relationship and let him find someone more worthy of being with the Warrior of the Centaur.
Gage had decided they should stay together, and the trip was short. It was just the dress and it was decided that they would grab as many toys as they could for the orphans of the fleet to turn this into a bit more of a humanitarian trip and not just a selfish desire of a silly girl. She begged if they could head to the level upstairs where the music store was. A couple of new guitars, a keyboard, at least an electronic drum kit. She had to blackmail him for that side trip as it meant going back in when they had already loaded up. She pulled out her capstone card, the one she'd only used once before, "You didn't stop Dante. You owe me."
She only used it because she thought she wouldn't be coming back. It was selfish and impulsive, completely reckless. She was still wondering why Gage had even agreed to go to Caprica for such a frivolous reason, but she supposed he had needed to see the destruction for himself. Maybe he was hoping to rescue his wife and child, although they both knew they were gone. That was clear by the black craters that had once been officer housing near the academy.
That was going to be it, a snatch and grab shopping spree, but the message in the dirt that they discovered coming back to their vehicles, a simple, "Hello again…who are you?" let both of them know, this was not the last trip they would be making. They had their weapons drawn the whole time they were on the ground, but the message had them immediately covering each other's back as they circled around the viper, and then checked on the shuttle. They debated in silent hand signals if they should call out loud a simple "Who's there?" Gage overruled her. He was right, they had stayed too long, left the vehicles exposed, and they were risking their lives just being there, let alone the attention they would get when they fired up and launched.
Gage seemed to wake up at that moment and realize how risky this was. He was a Colonel after all, necessary personnel. Rene tried to tell him to go, let her look, no one cared if anything happened to her. Gage overruled her again. They were launching now, and they would talk later if they were ever coming back.
Gage had insisted on their return that she head straight to the Life Center, and she had a hard time explaining to Salik why she needed to be checked. She played the nervous mom, talked about being afraid of all the stress and its effect on the baby, hoping that would help explain her elevated heart rate. Gage insisted on seeing the doctor's report himself before he would even consider approving more flights.
Sitting in the gallery watching Starbuck vent his anger, she knew she probably should have told him then. Endangering her own life wasn't what had Starbuck so steamed. It was that her first instinct had been to tell Jake. That was what had Starbuck flinging a triad ball and his own body against walls, Jake and her in collusion to deceive and distract anyone who might notice their absences. All Rene could do was sit in the dark of the gallery, hugging her knees to her chest, as she waited and tried to think of a way to somehow make this better.
She could not alter her decision to tell Jake first. She wasn't even sure if she could help Starbuck to understand. It had been a selfish decision. Jake was the only choice because the two of them had known each other on Caprica. They had a history that would link them forever through time. She couldn't change that, not even for Starbuck. If anyone was going back to Caprica to rescue anyone with her, it would be Jake.
It didn't mean that she wanted to end things with Starbuck or to go back to her and Jake being a couple or any of the jealous thoughts she knew Starbuck was having. It just meant, if she had to die or be stuck alone on Caprica, she didn't want it to be with Starbuck. In a weird way, it was because she did love him. She wanted him to live a good life and to be safe. Plus, he was really good with the kids, and she could tell, he needed the kids just as much as they need Starbuck. The way he brought his light, that magical something that he seemed to embody, to their lives, they needed him more than anyone. She wanted the best for the kids and for Starbuck, a happy life, so she had risked Jake. She and Jake had survived Caprica, they were expendable in the circle of the Dilmun community. They could survive Caprica again, if need be. Even she knew that sounded like a metron of mong, but it was the only excuse she had.
Well that, and telling Jake was easier. With Starbuck, she would have had a fight on her hands, did have a fight on her hands, and he would most definitely have said no to future trips. With Jake, she didn't really have to explain or justify anything. She just gave him the guitar, one he had already searched high and low for and had offered more cubits to pay for it than he would ever own in his life. It just didn't exist in the fleet, and she was the only one who knew that. Looking back on it, knowing what she knew now, the survivors of Caprica must have had a good laugh around their fire at the sight of Colonial Warriors coming back to Caprica, and what for? Guitars. She had four of them slung around her on that last trip, as well as amps, and a backpack full of disassembled synthesizers and an honest to goodness drum kit. She went all that way for musical instruments.
It had been worth the risk to her life, to the baby and to Gage just for the look on Jake's face when she walked in that evening, and placed the guitar on the table before him. He had stammered, teared up, began to ask the where and the how, but as he saw that it had never been strung, brand new, he knew. With just a look to her, he knew and there needed no explanation and there was no fight.
She was right that she could count on him to cover for her. He crafted the lie so fast it made even her head spin, all about some dealer on the Rising Star, a back storage room of the luxury liner, no one had any interest in musical instruments, but he had wanted a fortune. He joked about the Dilmun payroll, that she must have kept back more than she had admitted. The lie worked, Starbuck was none the wiser. He was too distracted with being jealous. She had given Jake a gift, and Jake tweaked that insecurity to its highest level. It threw Starbuck off their trail, well, sort of.
Jake was more than willing to make more trips. The trouble was getting a viper as she never intended to go back in a shuttle again, that was far too risky. She'd finally found someone on the Shiva flight deck crew who was already dealing in black market goods. Promised them more than a few things, and handed over a rather nice ring she'd taken her first trip. They had planned their trips around when Starbuck had patrols, that way he was none the wiser that she wasn't on the Galactica. All her free time was spent with Starbuck, or trying to set up another run to Caprica.
It was Boomer that had caught on. He had confronted her and Jake as they were about to head off, only he didn't know what they were really doing. He thought they were fracking around. That had stung a lot, but she took the hit, knew she probably deserved it. He then threatened to tell Starbuck she was fracking around with Jake. That she couldn't take, so they had told Boomer.
She had overestimated Starbuck's friend, thought he was a straight-laced Gold Clusters Warrior of the Centaur. Turned out, he had a bit of a dark side to him, that and a very curious mind. He had to know for himself what had happened to Caprica, and he was in on the trips. He was the one who had been able to finally make contact with the survivors. That Warrior of the Centaur side finally showed itself. He put a halt to the shopping sprees, threatened to tell Starbuck and Adama himself if she didn't. By then they had learned there were over thirty people in the group on Caprica, men, women, and children. This wasn't for fun anymore. The nightmares she had been having weren't her own tortured memories from the destruction. They were the life these people lived every day. The Cylons were still there, and time was running out.