They hiked the hills as the sun waned in the oily sky. Apollo, Starbuck and Max took turns carrying Boomer, who alternated from consciousness to unconsciousness depending on how rough the terrain became. Starbuck noticed the next time he carried his friend that the man was becoming much warmer. He hoped that the coolness of the evening and the soaking that Boomer had taken would keep a real fever down. Avery was right, their friend was slowing them down and they needed to find some cover and tend to his injuries again. Starbuck didn't need to keep an eye on Rene, Jake was doing that for him by talking with her and getting her to keep up when necessary. She insisted on taking the pack back from Starbuck and Apollo, saying she could handle it, but as they started climbing the second ridge, a nearly vertical trail without switchbacks, she didn't object when Starbuck came and took it from her. Avery had set a grueling pace and Starbuck's legs burned from the mostly uphill climb. He was looking forward to there being only one more ridge and then a chance to regroup. He was going to insist they stop for the night, regardless of Avery's men. He wasn't going to be able to last much longer.

When they crested the second ridge they had a fairly good view of the city behind them, but it was what was before them that had Starbuck groaning. It was quite a distance to the next ridge, and several smaller ones that needed to be traversed before even making it to the third ridge. Starbuck would have liked to catch up to ask Avery "what the frack," but Max was sweating heavily carrying Boomer and it was Starbuck's turn. He was beginning to reconsider his opinion that their best bet was with Avery and his people. The survivors were leading them farther away from the city and from any hope of escape from Caprica. They did seem to have eluded the centurions in the rough terrain and the raiders had been focused on the shopping complex, now just a smoldering heap of rubble in the distance, so that was something. He just hoped they had medical supplies, some food, dry clothes and a warm bed at the end of this hike.

When he took his friend from Max, there was no doubt that Boomer needed them to stop for the night. He was way too warm for as cool as the evening had become, and he was drifting in out of sleep, or at least Starbuck hoped it was sleep and not unconsciousness. He got Boomer talking a little, but the effort of it seemed to sap his buddy, so Starbuck just kept up a steady stream of conversation talking about the latest improvements to the Galactica they could make and how some storage places could be put to better uses. He knew he had gotten lucky with the downhill portion as his turn to carry his friend, so he tried to go a bit farther than he had before. It was when he began to stumble that Apollo took over, putting words to Starbuck's thoughts, "We need to stop soon."

"He said it was just over the third ridge. If it's not right over that ridge, I mean, like, right there, we're stopping and we can have that debate again about who is losing body parts. I'd really prefer some decent cover. It looks like rain is coming." As if to punctuate Starbuck's words, the sky lit up with a streak of white, followed by the rumble of far off thunder.

"I agree. And if they have medical supplies, it will be worth it."

"And if they don't?" Starbuck asked.

"They had time to raid shopping malls and outdoor gear stores, I'm going to assume they hit some Life Centers as well. If not, we can. You might want to check on the others."

Max had fallen back with Jake and Rene. They all looked tired, but Rene was the one who had her head down. She kept trudging on even when they took their breaks to shift Boomer from person to person. Starbuck knew that was a sure sign of exhaustion and Rene was being smart in a way. Even she knew if she stopped, she may not keep going.

Starbuck waited for her and Jake to catch up, patted Jake on the shoulder giving him an encouragement to catch up to Apollo that he would walk with Rene for a while. Rene didn't seem to notice at first, she was so focused on just putting one foot in front of the other.

"You doing okay?" Starbuck asked as she popped up her head, surprised to find him there. She nodded but didn't speak. He didn't doubt she was exhausted. She had taken a swim on top of running a maze and now hiking up hill, all while soaking wet and pregnant. He debated about letting her stay in her silence. She was still moving and keeping a decent pace, but he knew from his Academy days that a little distraction sometimes made the hike much easier.

"Can I ask a couple of questions?" She shrugged at him, but he took it as consent. He also took it as a sign that he'd been right. She needed a bit of a mental push to keep going. He was too tired himself to think up anything witty to say, and she looked too tired to appreciate any flirting, so that left just conversation. Since they were here, walking the hills above Caprica city, he thought it might be time to learn a little bit about her time on Caprica and the end or their world.

"So was it like that in the sewers the night of the destruction?"

"Like what?" She sounded distant and he debated making her stop for more water and food, but stopping now might mean stopping for good. No, it was best to keep her moving and get her talking some, focused on something other than how far they had left to go.

"The sewers after the destruction, was it like that, what we just did, being chased in the dark?"

She shook her head slightly and drew herself up a bit. "No, much worse. Back there, that was…that was nothing. I mean, this time I had an illuminator and a pack on my back with plenty of food and water. I also knew my way. You have no idea how much better that felt just knowing that if we got stuck, we had enough to get by. The night of the destruction, well it was night and much darker down there. We had nothing. No illuminator, no food. We didn't even have jackets on. And the sewers were full of water and, well…stuff, plus people, alive and dead. The ground wouldn't stay still. The tunnels jumped with each salvo. It was just...it was pure chaos for starters." She stopped talking and faltered a bit in her steps as her focus seemed to go even more distant than it had been before, but he knew that look. It meant she was remembering, reliving it, and he considered switching topics and trying to dredge up something funny to say.

But then she turned to him with eyes that were deep and clear before she turned to face the trail in front of them and her steps grew stronger as she kept going. "It was very loud those first days. You could hear all this screaming and explosions and, I swear half the people we ran into in the tunnels didn't even know how they got down there. When we got farther into town, which is not what we wanted to do but we got all turned around, there were kids that were just jammed into storm drains. I guess their parents put them there as some sort of cover. That's where we found Lara and her brother. Had to pull her all the way through and she was screaming for her parents and…."

She stopped talking and abruptly stopped walking. He gave her arm a gentle nudge with his shoulder to get her back moving. "You saw her parents?"

"Yeah. Saw them die. Saw a lot of people die, especially that first night."

She grew silent again, her gaze shifting to the sky above. He debated again changing the topic, but despite everyone telling him "You'll have to ask Rene, she remembers," to most of his questions about their time on Caprica and on the Zakar, she had told him very little. He'd gotten small snapshots of moments when he was with her when she woke from a dream, but he'd probably heard more from Jake when they tried out the scraps still. Still Starbuck had learned little, as Jake's memories had been disjointed and out of order. Plus this might be a safer topic than berating her again for having come back when she should have stayed with the Galactica.

"You said you were at the Academy when the attack happened?"

"Yeah, we sometimes snuck in to see Ari and go swimming. They spend a lot of energy keeping the recruits in, but not keeping people out so it was usually pretty easy."

"Yeah, but you could sneak out if you timed it right. I snuck out a lot. Never thought to head to the pool though." He thought back on some of the places he'd found for his dalliances with whomever he was dating at the time, the hangar, the librarium after hours. He'd never considered the swimming pool.

"No one was using it and, well, that night no security was really walking the perimeter or anything. We had just gotten in when the raider came over and started firing." She grew silent as she thought back to the luck they had that night. If they had gone back to the academy like Ari had wanted, they'd have all died.

"Jake said the sewers were your idea. Sounds like it was the right one, considering."

"Yeah well, I blame the foster system for that one. They just always stressed that if anything happened we should go down. I mean, kind of was the answer to everything. Being abused by your foster parents, drop down. Cylon attack, drop down, No food, look down. Not sure what the director really meant, but works for me. So we went down and it worked, only we went in the wrong direction. Headed into the city and didn't realize until it was too late and then, we got all turned around." She paused as she looked at him, then pulled the water bottle from the side pocket of his pack and drank nearly half before handing it to him. As he drank she said softly, "I know I haven't told you much, pretty boy. It's just hard to explain to someone who wasn't there. But yeah, I think now you get it. The first days were chaotic and confusing. They blur together and it was hard to tell when day and night ended down there. But the worst was when things got quiet. It's like you could hear the world dying one person at a time until you were all that was left. We had no clue what to do or where to go, and looking back I made so many mistakes."

"You did something right. You're still here."

"Yeah, still stuck here on Caprica. Sorry. I didn't mean to get you stuck too." She paused again, looking back at the terrain they had already covered and the city in the distance. "I should have just brought a shuttle on my own and taken care of this. I have been so stupid."

"No, that would have been stupid. Remember, this was Boomer's idea too." Starbuck didn't add that he was pretty sure Boomer was regretting that idea about now. He didn't want to get into that now. Later after they stopped and regrouped, he'd begin the discussion of how to get her out of here, but for now they just needed to keep going. "You were down there a while, weren't you? You didn't have any supplies?"

"Yeah, we think three sectons, but it's hard to tell. No, no supplies. We climbed out a few times, but that was after nearly a secton. We had a lot of kids with us. They were starving by the time we crawled out. The first few days were the worst. The noise was deafening and tunnels collapsed. We waited until it got quiet and then we started following the water down. We thought if we got to the bay we could get a boat or something and the Cylons don't like the water so we thought…anyway we climbed out near a store, found some food. Had we been able to carry enough we might have lasted longer. Following the water down was the wrong way to go. They bombed the harbor and…" She paused again as they finally started to climb what he hoped was the third and final ridge. He wondered if she would begin talking again as they were both out of breath. She slowed her pace as she continued. "The water came at us, filling the tunnels. It swept us back into the city. It just seemed no matter what we did, we just wound up back at the city center."

"So what was the plan? Did you know about the evacuation and the ships joining up with the Galactica?" He had heard Serina's story of that night, the rush of people to the spaceports and loading docks, the ships trying to break atmosphere and being taken down by the raiders. By all estimates only one in ten of the ships that launched even made it to orbit. Of those, even fewer found the Galactica.

She answered softly. "No. And even if we did, they wouldn't have let the guys come. Women and children probably and we wouldn't have left them behind. We didn't have a plan, just get out of the city and survive. It was a moment by moment kind of panic I guess. I honestly couldn't tell you what we thought we were doing. I mean looking back, there were some opportunities we totally missed. There were things we could have done and…"

They were halfway up the ridge and the climb had become dramatically steeper. She paused to catch her breath. "If I ever get three wishes, one will be to do those days over again. Knowing what I know now I could have saved so many more kids. I mean, why didn't they teach us how to survive Cylon attacks? They happened often enough you would think they would talk about where to go and what to do. No offense, but all they did was tell us that our illustrious fleet was protecting us, but you weren't there that day. You never came."

The words stung, maybe because they held some truth to them, maybe because they were uttered by the woman who was now his wife. "We were a little busy at the time, you know being slaughtered in the skies and all."

Her head spun at the acidity of his words. "That's not what I meant. I know that. I just…I just wish we knew how to fight for ourselves. Some basic training. I mean if Dante can teach us street kids who hated school how to fly, couldn't our school system have done a bit better? That's all I'm saying. I wish I could have fought back. We would have."

"Would you have? Why didn't you try to become Warriors? Ari did, so why not you?" The spark of anger she flashed him showed she still had a bit of energy left. But he didn't want her to flare and burn out before they reached their objective. "You're a damn fine pilot. You have an aptitude. Surely they tested you in school and suggested the academy."

"Yeah," she answered, but focused on the ground in front of her for a few more steps before saying more. "I just didn't see the point then, figured I'd never make it into the academy, let alone graduate. Lack of confidence, I guess, or blame it on authority issues." She shrugged that habitual guttersnipe shrug.

"Yeah, I had those same issues too, but I made it. You could have."

She snorted. "You lacked confidence? Right!"

"I could say the same about you. You thought you could just fly here to Caprica and save everyone in a half a centaur mission."

She shrugged again, and he could see how weary she was just making that gesture. "Yeah, I've changed a bit since the destruction. I even learned to say 'sir'."

He quirked an eyebrow at her as he teased, "Oh, is that what you call that sarcastic slur that crosses your lips, respect for authority? I'd hate to hear how you said it before."

"Yeah, about that," she drawled in Crius's fake twang. They walked in silence as the light faded, needing to save their energy for navigating the ground in front of them in the dim light. Rene stumbled on a loose rock and he reached out to catch her. His hold upon her arm seemed to bridge some of the distance between them. "You know why I had to come back, don't you? I couldn't leave you here."

"But you have kids to think about, my kid to think about. You should have stayed behind or…or…"

"Could be that you feel as unworthy as us guttersnipes," she said quietly. "You're not, you know."

He sighed and decided to let it drop. It was pointless now. They were here, trudging up the hills of Caprica in the dark. They had made it this far. "We can talk about it tomorrow when we are getting the frack out of her. Let's keep going, slow and steady."

They were both silent for a few moments focusing on their steps before she asked softly, "Do you remember the attack on your home when you were a kid?"

Starbuck had not figured out after all these yahrens whether it was a blessing or curse that he couldn't remember that fateful night. Sometimes he got fragments of it, but that's all they were and he wasn't sure if they were really his memories or things he had read about that night, or just what others had told him should be his memories. "No, not really. I was pretty young. I kind of remember being in the thorn forest with other kids, but," he did his own shrugging. "I remember the uniforms of the Warriors that came to find us. I remember a little bit of afterwards being in the orphanage those first few days, but of that night, not really."

"You don't dream about it?"

He thought back to the dreams, the few that had woken him sweating in fear every once in a while, usually after a particularly stressful time in his life, or when he'd not been able to get much sleep. His dreams were vague and formless, just the fear of the approaching enemy, that terrifying drone, the sound of a pulse laser cutting off the wail of another child. From what he was finding out about Rene and her flashbacks to the past, he thought maybe he was fortunate in his lack of recall. "Sometimes, but what I mostly remember is my mother. Not her face, just…" he thought back to the last time he'd had the dream, "her voice, her smell, I don't know, just a sensation that she wants me to be safe. That she wanted me to live."

"That doesn't sound like a nightmare."

"Wake up sweating from them, but…yeah, not all that bad I guess." If anything, what bothered him most was what he couldn't remember, as if wakefulness cruelly pulled him away from memories that eluded him. Whether pleasant or not, it was still his past. Instead of memories, all he had was the pounding of his heart, his panic and the overwhelming feeling of loss.

There was another streak of lightning, and they both jumped at the sharp crack of thunder, far closer than before.

"It starts raining, we are finding shelter. I don't care what Avery says," Starbuck grumbled. "Not exactly what I had in mind for our honeymoon."

"Who are you more worried about, me or Boomer, because I can handle it."

He felt his shoulders tighten as she guessed where his true concerns lay. "Are you going to be mad at me for wanting my wife and future child to be safe? If so, then you're going to need some anger management courses because I'm not going to stop."

He thought he heard a chuckle from her. "I'll sign myself up tomorrow. But seriously, Dante trained us. I can keep going. Quitting is not an option in my training. You don't wash out of Dante's Academy."

He thought back to his Academy days. Not everyone made it to graduation. Apollo had told him once that they actually planned that close to twenty percent of recruits would quit before they finished the first term, after that another ten percent the next term, and another ten percent before they would reach graduation. If you did the math, it meant you lost close to half the recruits before the end. He'd seen a few just quit the first few sectons, choosing to wash themselves out rather than face the humiliation of being forced out. Quitting was always an option as his instructors reminded him almost daily. It was always the encouragement on a long run or hike, shouted at you when you wanted nothing more than to just lay down and take a long nap, "You can always quit. You can walk away and just be another man. Only the best of the best make it." In a way, it was effective. You could just quit, but you made this choice so you might as well keep going. It was your decision, your own bit of control over a tough situation.

For Starbuck, he knew it wasn't really a choice. Without the service and the friends and adopted family he made there, he had nothing. In some ways, the idea of walking away from his best friend was inconceivable. Apollo got him through the academy, just as Jolly had gotten him through the foster system, and Boomer got him through his first assignment to a Commander who was less than thrilled to be receiving a reckless and impulsive pilot with a disciplinary record nearly as long as his accomplishments.

But still, it was an option. You could quit officer's training and go back to civilian life or just become a grunt. No matter how awful that seemed, it was still there as a second choice. What choice had there been for Rene when the run was too long and too hard. Knowing what he did of Dante, he suspected every run was too long, every training too hard. His imagination kicked in and the vision of a recruit being shoved out an airlock played out in his head.

"Did some washout?" he asked, knowing that his imaginings were sometimes worse than the truth. Sometimes they were accurate, but she had spoken little of Dante and according to her doctors, that was the real problem in her head, what that bastard had done. "Not everyone makes it, I know that. What did he do?"

He expected the hesitation before her answer. He knew she often cleaned up her stories, packaged up her facts, sanitized the truth so it was only halfway there for him. Not this time. She must have been too tired to take that kind of effort with her story.

"He shot you in the head. He gave you the choice, get up or he was going to make it really hurt but just for a micron. Dante told you the truth. He didn't have the resources to carry you or feed you. He didn't waste time on people who weren't worth it. Then he would harangue us for why we even bothered to survive the destruction, that we should have just given the Cylons what they wanted like all the other military leaders. We should have sacrificed ourselves that night and been done with it so the real winners could keep fighting without us in the way. Once he finally let us have blasters, had to earn them, then he'd have you shoot yourself. Reminded us often we didn't need his help to quit. So yeah, quitting is not an option. I keep going until…"

She didn't finish the sentence but her pace increased and he could hear her breathing hard in the gloom that was descending. He thought for a moment before he broke the silence.

"You don't have to live like that anymore. There are more of us. We have the resources. We can carry each other. Isn't that part of being sealed?"

"You're already carrying Boomer. And yeah, don't think I don't know what you are doing here. Thanks. You know that's why I love you right? You carry everyone."

Her words lightened his load. He felt like he could hike another ridge if he had to. He'd better not have to.

In the darkness, and in the exhaustion that made it hard to come up with a lie, he decided to ask a few more questions. "Is that what was going on when Crius found you with your blaster? Were you going to quit? Because you do know that would have killed me too."

Her steps faltered and he reached out again to steady her. She stopped walking, and he urged, "Come on, keep going. You don't have to answer the question."

He heard the heavy sight before she started moving again. "It's not what you think. I wasn't going to do it I just…just needed to remind myself of the other option, quit or figure it out. It's not an option, I know. The voices were really loud and I didn't know what to do. I still don't really know who I can trust with all this."

"You can trust me."

"I know that now. The voices just got too loud and I didn't know what to do. I figured it out, well sort of." She sighed heavily, but it led into a deep wracking cough that had her stopping so she could draw enough air.

"You okay?" he asked once her coughing stopped.

"Yeah. Just, that water wasn't right. I'll be fine."

In the darkness, a bird hooted, and they both jumped at the sudden sound. It was their first evidence that maybe there was still life on Caprica, that is until they realized it was one of the survivors calling to another. The noise suddenly made Starbuck notice the conspicuous absence of the sounds of insects or anything that might indicate a night on his home world. It was deadly silent.

He looked up to see the top of the ridge was much closer. They would be upon it in just a few hundred metrons. "One step at a time. We're almost there."

"There'd better be some medical supplies at the end of this hike, and I'm fracking hungry. I could sleep for a few cycles and…" She grew quiet as the steep trail took her concentration.

They walked in silence as they crested the ridge. It was even higher than the others and gave them a panoramic view of Caprica City, but also some of the other towns nearby. The towns were dark, except for at the industrial areas where signs of production shone in the dark. Cylons didn't need to sleep and darkness was no impediment to their efficiency. He counted the raiders in the sky still circling over the shopping mall burning below the hills. Their vipers were toast. Feeling like his guts had been scooped out by the sight, he turned away to look down the ridge, searching for the burned out landram that might signal the end to this pleasant little hike. It was there near the bottom of a gully. He shivered in his damp clothes as the temperature began to drop.