Remus was back in classes the next day. Classes passed almost uneventfully, if not for discussion of the fireworks.
"Filch wasn't happy," Marlene noted.
"Not much compared to what they did to Umbridge," her friend Alice commented.
"Well, they'd better not blame us, I was in the Great Hall," a Slytherin first year said.
"Umbridge was livid when Filch came to her for help."
"Three galleons that the Prewett Twins did it."
"You're on."
"What did you guys do while I was out?" Remus asked them.
"Just some fireworks, nothing big," James said.
"Nicked them from Filch's office, plus a package of dungbombs," Sirius said happily.
"You broke into Filch's office?" Remus asked.
"Yeah."
"Is it true that he has shackles in there?"
"Keeps 'em well oiled," James said.
"Well, anyway, we need to do another something to Umbridge," interrupted Peter.
"Like what?" Remus inquired.
"I don't know, but we should do something big on April Fools Day," he said eagerly.
"Yes! Peter, that's a great idea!" Sirius exclaimed.
"April Fools Day! Brilliant!" James crowed.
"The teachers are going to hate us," Remus said.
"Oh, not us," Sirius said, grinning maniacally. "They wouldn't hate the blessed angels Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, James Potter, and, heaven forbid, Sirius Black. However, they might hate those devilish Marauders."
"Heaven forbid they think you're an angel," Remus muttered.
"What do you mean?" Sirius asked innocently. "You're not suggesting that I, Sirius Orion Black, would be anything but heavenly?"
"You're no angel, Sirius, we all know that," Remus said, rolling his eyes.
"I say we go for Dumbledore," said James. "Go big or go home."
"We should do something to the Great Hall," said Peter.
"Forget the Great Hall, we should do something to the corridors," said James.
"I have an idea," Remus said slowly.
They began to plan the April Fools Day Plot, a little at a time. This didn't mean that they were above causing mischief in the meantime.
Especially on Valentines Day.
Defense Against the Dark Arts was the ideal time for James to carry out his plan. It not only would fulfill its original purpose, but it would keep people from listening to Umbridge, which was a bonus.
The class took their seats as usual, the chatter dying out quickly as Umbridge entered the classroom.
"Today," Umbridge began, "we- yes, Mr. Potter?"
James was raising his hand.
"I have an announcement to make," James said.
"What are you doing?" Remus whispered. He had no knowledge of James' plan, nor did the others.
James stood and began to speak. "Ms. Lily Evans," he started.
Lily groaned and put her head in her hands.
"Since sometime during first year, I have loved you deeply and dearly with all my heart."
"Save it, Potter," she said, words muffled by her hands.
"My love for you hasn't diminished. Well, except for when you had Peter steal Sirius' eggs. Anyway, now that I have proclaimed my undying, irrevocable love for you, I ask you, Lily, will you go out with me?"
Slowly, Lily lifted her head.
Sirius nodded encouragingly from behind James, then said, "I've heard he's an excellent snogger."
"Sod off, Black!" she snarled.
Sirius shrugged.
"And, Potter? The answer is no," she added sweetly.
Umbridge blinked once, then said, "Now, Mr. Potter, if you will sit down and let us get on with the lesson, we'll discuss the details of your detention- Mr. Black, stop laughing!"
Sirius was roaring with laughter, joined by a few others, though none laughed as her as him.
"Mr. Black!"
He was shaking so hard he toppled out of the desk, which caused more fits of giggles.
"Mr. Black! Detention!"
"Nice one, James," Sirius gasped as he tried to catch his breath, then burst into another fit of laughter.
Umbridge whipped out her wand and cast a silencing charm on Sirius. The room became very quiet.
"Professor, you can't just do that, it's not allowed-" Remus started.
"You'll be joining Mr. Black and Mr. Potter in detention for telling me how to run this class," Umbridge said. "The spell will wear off when the lesson finishes. He's fine."
Remus persisted. "Professor, using spells on students to obtain control isn't permitted. It says so on page twenty of-"
"Fifty points from Gryffindor," Umbridge said. "If you keep talking, it will be more."
Remus quieted.
"And on with the lesson," Umbridge crooned.
"She's not allowed to do that," Remus fumed angrily.
"Well, it's certainly not stopping her," Sirius said, shrugging, then turned his attention to James. "Tough luck with Evans. Maybe you'll do better next time, mate."
"She'll come around," James said confidently.
"Tell me when that happens, she looked pretty sure."
"Where'd you get that bit about James being a good snogger?" Peter asked.
"Oh, I made it up," Sirius said, waving it off.
"So James isn't a good snogger?"
"I dunno, why don't you judge that."
"No," James said forcefully.
Sirius smirked. "You sure-"
"We haven't started planning Dumbledore's prank," Remus cut in. "We should get that done."
"Alright. What should we do?" James said.
"What if we did something with his beard?" Sirius suggested.
"Like what?"
"We could dye it, braid it, chop it off-"
"We're not chopping off his beard," Remus said.
"Why not?"
"That's too far. We could braid it, though, like you said," Remus said, sitting down at the Gryffindor table.
"Oh, good, they have potatoes today," Peter said. He spooned some onto his plate and grabbed the gravy dish.
"A food fight!" James exclaimed. "We can do that, and enchant the food to stick, like, for and hour or something, and we could start a food fight!"
Sirius grinned and nodded. "And in the chaos, we can do something-"
"Let me guess," Remus said. "Stupid?"
"Precisely," Sirius said.
"We could still eat the food, right?" Peter asked.
"Yeah, what's the point of a food fight if you can't eat anything?" Sirius said distractedly, "And I want to pie Snivellus in the face, that has to happen."
"Isn't that a little, I dunno, targeted?" Remus asked.
"Well, yeah, but we're already targeting Dumbledore and Umbridge," James said.
"Is this for April Fools, or another time?" Peter asked.
James and Sirius grinned at each other.
"Tonight," they said.
"Tonight?" Peter yelped. "They have those special noodles with the chicken and cheese tonight!"
"Actually, forget about the pie, let's target Snivellus with that stuff, he hates cheese," Sirius said.
"How does someone hate cheese?" Peter asked, aghast.
"No idea," James said.
"Anyway, back to the food fight," Sirius said. "Dumbledore loves muggle candy, we should throw some of that at him."
"Sure, but I want to sample some first, I haven't tried any," James said.
"If you're going to do this, at least wait until dinner's over," Remus said, interrupting them.
"Oh, sure," Sirius said, smirking. "We'll wait."