"There's no way that Remus is going to let us go through with this," James panted, collapsing on his bed.

Little late for that, we've already started, Sirius noted.

Yeah, but this is only one step, Peter wrote, and we haven't finished it, so he could stop us from finishing it.

"Good point," James said.

Why do we have to do these stupid mandrake leaves? scribbled Sirius. They taste terrible and I can't talk!

"Yeah. That's problematic," agreed James.

You could try talking, Peter wrote.

Then I'd waste the leaf and have to start over, Sirius scrawled under Peter's note.

James was the only one that spit his out.

Sirius considered this for a moment.

If talking was an option, then talk he would.

"I'm talking," he announced.

"You want to spit mandrake leaf at people?" James asked.

"I'm going to keep it in, not spit on people, and talk," Sirius said. "If anyone can do it, Sirius Black can."

"If anyone can do it, it's James Potter," James argued.

"And James Potter failed," Sirius said. "I'm definitely going to do it.

"Exactly! If I can't do it, you can't either!"

"I'm doing it right now," Sirius pointed out.

James gave a huff.

"Thanks, mate," Sirius said. "Peter, why don't you have a go? This was your idea, after all."

It wasn't my idea to become anim-

Sirius grabbed his quill before he could finish.

"Hey!" Peter complained.

"Don't write it down. What if someone finds it?" Sirius scolded. He scratched out the word, covering it in more ink.

"You're wasting my ink! We could just burn this!" Peter said.

"Brilliant. I'll throw this in the fire and then tell Remus we've decided to end our vow of silence. Except for maybe James," Sirius said.

James glared more intensely at him.

"I'm feeling the love, James. Feeling the love."

With that, Sirius went to throw the parchment in the fire.

"Why did James have a mandrake leaf in his mouth?" Remus asked when Sirius got down.

"Oh, I dunno," Sirius said, "and, by the way, we're ending our vow of silence. Well, James might not be, but Peter and I are."

"You're talking again," Remus noted.

"Yeah," Sirius said.

"Is there something in your mouth?"

"What? No."

"You're up to something," Remus said.

"Like what?"

"Like… something with mandrake leaves."

Sirius did not reply, instead inching towards the fire.

"Why isn't James breaking the vow of silence?"

"Oh." Sirius was getting closer. "He wants to give you more silence so that you have time to work."

"Okay…." Remus looked unsure of this answer, but accepted it anyway.

"Well," Sirius said, successfully making it to the fire, "Is Evans really after Snivellus?"

"No," Remus said, then added, "but don't tell James."

"I won't- we should prank him, tell him they were snogging, that would be hilarious to watch."

"Yeah, maybe for April Fools…."

"Brilliant. We'll figure that out later," Sirius said. He tossed the paper into the fire. Fortunately, Remus didn't notice.

"Alright. Also- we need something for Umbridge," Remus said. "It's been too long since we've pranked her. Or Slytherin House. Hogwarts is overdue for excitement."

"Yeah. I had this idea for Mrs. Norris, actually," Sirius said, getting excited. "What if we tried to dye her a different color?"

"Filch would skin us alive," Remus said, shrugging. "But Mrs. Norris is always sneaking around and getting us in trouble, and anyway, we haven't gotten her yet."

"Any ideas for Umbridge?"

"I heard that the Care of Magical Creatures class is going to be breeding Ashwinders soon," Remus said casually.

Sirius grinned evilly. "Yes."

"Umbridge could use a pet besides those kittens, don't you think?"

"For sure."

"You realize those are illegal to trade," James said. He had joined them from upstairs, hand over his mouth. Peter stood behind him.

"We wouldn't be trading them," Remus pointed out. "If we bred them, we wouldn't break any laws."

"This is diabolical," Peter commented. "It'll get us in loads of trouble-"

"Like I said before, Peter," Sirius said, "The angels Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Sirius Black never get into trouble."

"Except for when we pranked Umbridge's office," Remus began, "and the flamingo feathers in the Slytherin Common Room. And then there was the time when Sirius and James tried to joust with the armour in the halls. And when-"

"The Marauders did that," Sirius said dismissively.

"We are the Marauders, Mr. Angel," Remus said, giving him a pointed look.

"Okay, well, we're also angels."

"You're not an angel, Sirius, honestly-"

"Well, neither are you!" Sirius said definitely. "You're a public menace!"

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked innocently.

"You want to put an Ashwinder in Umbridge's office," James said.

"That's pretty menacing," Peter agreed.

"Whoever said it was only one Ashwinder?"

"Public menace," Sirius muttered.

Remus shook his head, though he was grinning.

The Marauders spent a good hour in the library looking for information on Ashwinders.

"Classified XXX," Sirius read.

"If Umbridge was scared of that snake, she's going to be terrified of these," James said.

"Terrified?" Sirius snorted. "I think that's an understatement."

"What are you guys up to?" It was Lily.

"Nothing," Peter said.

"You're talking again," Lily noticed.

"Yeah," Sirius said.

"Well, it was nice while it lasted," she sighed. "Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone had notes on Astronomy from the other night. I slept through it."

"Lily Evans, sleep through a class?" Sirius asked in false disbelief.

"Sod off, Black," Lily told him.

"Well, mate, I suppose we're rubbing off on her," James said, "Took a while, actually. You lasted longer than I thought you would, Evans."

"You can sod off, too, Potter."

"I've got my notes in my bag," Remus said. "I left it by that one chair."

"Thanks."

"Don't miss the next one!" Sirius called as she left.

They were promptly thrown out of the library by Madame Prince.

"You couldn't be quiet, could you?" Remus muttered. "I didn't get to finish the chapter."

"Well," Sirius reasoned, "when you've been quiet all day, talking is quite tempting."