Chapter 8
Out of all the rough, late nights Mary has ever had in her life, she would have to place tonight as one of the top 3, no doubt about it.
"Aghh," Mary moans. Mary and Itsuki had been quite busy for the past few (four? five?) hours. Her back is aching from holding such an agonizing position for so long. She swears she can feel the beginning of a pressure ulcer forming between her shoulder blades where it connects with the couch behind her. Her uniform is all disheveled and she just knows without looking that her hair is in disarray. It's confirmed when she feels only one of her ribbons brushing against her shoulder as she turns her head to the side. And ouch, her hand is definitely cramping up.
They were busy. Being studious, of course.
The coffee table in front of her is littered with textbooks and paper supplies, but she barely sees it. Her eyelids are drooping so low that the words written on her homework are reduced to blurry little squiggles. After leaving the dining hall, the girls had set up camp in Itsuki's dorm where they chatted for hours (which mostly consisted of Itsuki gossiping about other first years) before actually studying. It was hard for Mary to stay focused when the other girl kept getting distracted by literally anything and everything in her room. Even worse, Itsuki's father had sent her more of those delectable mont-blancs from Seifudo. The dangerous amount of sugar they guzzled down is probably one of the reasons why she's crashing right now.
Mary had already fallen asleep dozens of times while working through her class exercises. But each time she would close her eyes, she would fall into the same nightmare.
All she could see was black. Were her eyes still closed? No. Over there. There, though far away, she could see where the calm, pitch black seawater met with a glowing, golden horizon. The two colors against each other made her frown in confusion. That wasn't right. But it felt right. Natural, almost. She relented. This was the norm. Mary allowed the soothing waters wash over her skin like she was being healed. It felt nice. Her soul was mending.
It didn't last. Nothing in Mary's life seemed to last.
The calm sea water began to ripple. Slow lapping waves turned into large, thrashing swells of black crests. Mary felt herself being swallowed by the sea. The same water that was supposed to heal her had turned in an instant, devouring her at her most vulnerable. She didn't fight it. You should have known, she thinks. This is your fault. You shouldn't have gone in the water.
The more breaths she takes in, the deeper she drowns in the chaos. And she's gasping for air now. She's gasping. She can't see the golden horizon anymore. All that's left of the glow is a piercing red blaze in its place. Violent waves throw her back and forth like she's not even there. She doesn't exist. She should feel betrayed. But this is the norm. She relents and the black waves swallow her whole.
Mary would fall into the same nightmare each time. And each time she would wake with sweat painted across her brow and her heart pounding so hard she couldn't hear herself think.
She pinches the skin on the back of her hand trying in vain to wake herself up, but all that does is leave a bright red mark in its place. Mary stares at the red mark through her tired eyes wondering if she should succumb to her exhaustion. It's not like she had more schoolwork to do. And maybe the next time she falls asleep the nightmare would go away.
Probably not. All she knows is that she doesn't want to experience the nightmare in her own room where her bed was still stripped bare.
She doesn't want to be alone.
Across the elegantly decorated dorm room, Itsuki is slumped over her writing desk still in her uniform. She would bet all of her savings that her homework was still unfinished, just as it was earlier when Itsuki had decided to take a "quick nap".
She slowly pushes herself up from her place at the marble coffee table, palms landing on the piles of magazines Itsuki had been thumbing through during hour three of their study session. Mary intends to check for herself just how much work the girl had done. Although, when she takes a step towards the girl, she loses balance and crashes into the heavy wooden frame of the oversized bed.
"Fuck," Mary curses, breathing through the pain in her deadened limbs. That was enough to wake her up. She didn't realize her legs had fallen asleep before she did. Once she deems herself safe enough to walk, she begins the short trek to the ornate writing desk.
Well, a long trek now because of Mary's numb, tingling legs.
As she walks closer to the desk, albeit at an embarrassingly slow pace, she takes in the sight of the girl sleeping on her folded arms.
She's cute, in that quirky-cute sort of way. Her shoulders are slender and her waist is trim. She is shorter than Mary. The coloring of her hair reminds her of the sweets that she used to find in her grandfather's jacket pockets. The short, caramel blonde layers fall in an organized chaos of tresses that frame her face gracefully. She realizes that she's never seen her without her headband and she always, always has her nails manicured.
Mary decides that Itsuki is sweet. Everything about her seems sweet.
But Mary? Mary is far from sweet.
If Itsuki never approached Mary about being her tutor, she doubts she would ever associate herself with the girl.
Itsuki comes from an exceptionally wealthy family and her dorm room was more than enough proof of that. Compared to Mary's simplistic room, Itsuki's room screamed "money". The size of the room was at least four times bigger than her own, the coffee table itself probably cost more than all the furniture in Mary's room combined, and her bed was large enough to sleep at least three people. Three Jun Kiwatari-sized people, that is.
Mary cringes. That would be a weird sight to see.
"Itsuki-san," Mary whisper-shouts when she reaches the desk. Nudging the girl's shoulder, she tries again, "Itsuki-san wake up."
"Hrmph," the girl grumbles in reply. It takes a few moments, but Itsuki finally stirs, blearily squinting through her sleep-addled eyes.
"You ok with me crashing here tonight?" she asks, trying to keep her tone nonchalant. Mary doesn't want her asking any questions.
"'Course. The bed is big enough." She's met with silence.
Itsuki sneaks a peek up at Mary. Even through her blurry eyes she can tell Mary is unamused, "Or.. there's the couch? I'm pretty sure it's comfy enough."
It's clearly the better answer because Mary replies with, "Thanks, Itsuki-san."
"No problem. I guess I should get ready for bed. Do you want to borrow some sleep clothes?"
"Well, I'm not about to sleep in my uniform," Mary half-heartedly quips. The other girl lazily walks into her walk-in closet and emerges with a small stack of clothes. She furrows her brow at that. We wear uniforms, why the hell does she need a walk-in closet?
"I'm too sleepy to deal with your attitude," Itsuki sighs handing her a bundle of pajamas. Oh god, I said that out loud? At least Mary has the decency to blush at her own expense.
With her own clothes, Itsuki heads into her en suite bathroom (of course) while Mary leaves for the bathroom in the hallway.
Reflexively, she turns to the right before realizing she's in a different wing than her own room. But once Mary turns around to walk in the correct direction, she sees a door being closed hastily a few doors away. She struggles to see who the other student might be, but in the low lighting, she only sees a flash of the black cuff of a uniform and a glint of light before the hallway is still again.
Weird, she didn't expect anyone to be awake at this hour. From what she could tell from the layout of Itsuki's room, this wing was occupied by the more affluent students at Hyakkaou. That would mean she knew for certain that most of the student council would be on this floor. Interesting.
The next two days pass by much like the last. Except this time around, Mary is exhausted.
She doesn't regret sleeping on Itsuki's couch, twice, but it feels like she barely slept. Each bout of the nightmare was more intense than the last. So much, that by the time she finally wakes up both days, she was exhausted by the ordeal of experiencing it over and over again.
Her classes drift by in disjointed blurs. The pages of her notebook remain blank. She doesn't even remember eating breakfast or any meal, for that matter.
"You're going to have to play better than that, Nakamura," Itsuki chides. Her glossy nails tap against the cards in her hand menacingly.
It seems as though the unsettling noise has achieved its intended effect. The sleek-haired boy sitting across from Itsuki looks stressed. His opponent has cornered him late in the game, but there is still a chance for him to gain the upper hand. From her spot behind Itsuki's shoulder, Mary watches as Nakamura's eye twitches at the taunt. Nope, he's not going to figure it out.
Throughout the majority of the game, Shota Nakamura was non-stop with trash talk. Now that the two were approaching the conclusion of the game? Radio silence.
Mary had specifically selected this very game with Shota to test Itsuki's resilience. She needed to know if the girl could persevere through constant jeers and break through an opponent's arrogance.
Shota draws from the deck choosing to risk the odds than to play with the cards already on the table. It's almost imperceptible, but Mary has a trained eye. His fingers were definitely shaking as he brought the card back to his hand.
Itsuki doesn't flinch, but she has an inkling that she had seen the shaking too. Mary's watching Nakamura silently scramble for a winning move when suddenly, she feels it.
Mary doesn't understand it, truthfully. She has begun to notice this inane pull that pulses from the center of her being that has her gravitating towards... her. Yumeko. It's driving her crazy.
There's this heaviness that lays on her shoulders when she knows Yumeko has entered the room. The muscles in her neck tense up-an instinct in her body begging her to look. To watch the girl stride through the threshold with her long, flowing hair. It happened in every single one of her classes yesterday and today, and it's happening now.
She has to fight so hard not to give in, but the urge is so strong. And she's exhausted right now. It has gotten to the point where she's becoming self-conscious that the effort is beginning to show.
Self-conscious. Mary has never been one to describe herself as self-conscious. But here she is.
It has been three days since they last were together and she hasn't heard from Yumeko since. There was that incident in the dining hall the other day, but that's the full extent of it. There's a part of her that's glad that they haven't interacted yet. Mary is scared that if they make eye contact, she will see the crimson sky she now recognizes in her nightmares.
Her brain is urging her to turn around and face her, to face the person who caused these nightmares to take hold of her mind, but her body is keeping her desires at bay. She's eternally thankful. Mary knows it's for the best if she wants to protect herself.
Yet, she can still feel the girl lingering on the edge of her periphery. She's barely visible from where Mary is standing, but her body just knows that she's there. From all those long, consecutive nights spent together, Mary could recognize her movements anywhere and everywhere.
Mary decides that she should be angry at Yumeko. She never asked for any of this to happen. She never asked the girl to make late visits to her room on a regular basis. She never asked her to insert herself so deeply into Mary's routine that she now has to fill her nights with useless studying to the point of exhaustion. She never asked for...
Ugh. It's...complicated.
But Mary is not stupid. Never once has she entertained the idea that there was... more. She made sure to implement those rules with the sole intention of creating a clear line of where Yumeko should stand when it came to their relationship. In fact, the line was so clear that there was no "relationship". Yumeko was her kitten and she was her master. Their arrangement was one of pure attraction.
That was the one thing that Mary would admit. There was no denying that there was a pull between them that was just too glaring to ignore.
Once Yumeko had offered her the chance to yield even an ounce of power over her, she had seized the opportunity as soon as it was in her grasp.
First as a house pet, then later, as her house pet.
They had such great times together. They had tried so many things that she could only dream about before. She would fantasize about the trysts they'd have together long before they would actually take place, and the results were always better than she could ever imagine.
Mary had always gone to bed beyond satisfied with delicious aches in her muscles that could only be contributed to her behaved little house pet. Of course, the same went for Yumeko. Many a time she had seen Yumeko "acting strangely" in class after a night together. Suzui would be fussing over her asking her things like, "why are you walking like that?" While Mary, with the biggest smirk plastered on her face, would know exactly why she was walking like that.
Mary took the risk with Yumeko because she felt safe. She knew the rules would keep her safe.
But that one night when Yumeko had broken so many of her rules, she had crossed the line that Mary had tried so hard to define.
In a single night (that never should have turned into a morning), Yumeko had destroyed the protection that Mary had worked so hard to build around her heart.
She had thought that Yumeko breaking her rules was her way of resisting against the roles they had settled into. She thought that… maybe, things could be different from how they were. There was a split second that crucial morning when Mary had let these thoughts dance around in her head. It was when Yumeko was still asleep, peaceful in that early morning glow.
I wish this could be everyday, Mary's mind had let slip.
The thought was so fleeting, it just barely took root...but she thought it just the same. She wished it could be everyday.
Then, when Yumeko woke up and drew her hand so softly across Mary's hair and along her face, the wish of everyday grew stronger. In that moment, Mary's heart had not felt so full since ...Tsuzura. She had not felt a connection so solid since Tsuzura.
But then Yumeko was whispering regrets and dressing herself in black and red armor, so Mary had no choice but to do the same. She's been dressed in her own armor since that morning fighting a battle within herself.
Now she knows that she was right to implement those rules. Look where breaking them had gotten her. Because of it, she was now mulling over feelings she has over a girl that was only supposed to be her house pet.
Feelings, she scoffs. Feelings are just a nuisance.
"Mary-san."
Feelings do absolutely nothing, but cause people pain in the end.
"Mary-san."
Feelings only send people you love far awa-
"DAMN IT!" Shota roars, throwing the cards across the table. His rage is palpable as he shoves his seat backwards and stomps toward the exit without another word.
Itsuki shoots her a smug look while leaning across the mess of cards on the table to gather the money Shota had wagered on the game: around ten million yen.
Meanwhile, Mary is genuinely in awe of how long she had been out of it. How long had they been playing? How long had she just been standing there like an idiot?!
She is quite literally shaken out of her musings when Itsuki's beaming face takes up her line of vision and hands latch onto her shoulders. "Mary-san, did you SEE that?! Ten million yen!"
It's like she's having an out of body experience. Distantly, she can see Itsuki shaking her body back and forth like a rag doll, but her eyes are blank from the sudden disruption of her thoughts. Her mouth is slack, dizzy from all the commotion.
"I-yaahh-saw-i-" Mary tries to squeak out, "ye-aa-s-"
Her feeble attempt at speaking is interrupted by Itsuki rambling at ten thousand words a minute, "Marysanohmygoditwasawesomewhatanidiotamirightlikehecouldhavewonatonepointbuthisheadwassofaruphisas-"
Mary swears she's slowly building up a phobia of this girl.
Yet, amidst all the vigorous shaking and rambling, she can feel that soul-suspending pull again. Except, this time? It's getting stronger. The small, fine hair on the back of her neck is standing up and she can feel the tension between her shoulders build like a rubberband stretched to its limits. The muscles in her neck begin to strain despite Itsuki's man-handling of her body and Mary is on edge. She wants to run.
She wants to run because she can feel Yumeko closing the distance between them and it's making Mary panic.
Just before she can feel that imaginary rubberband snap, she breaks out of Itsuki's arms ignoring the look of complete shock she gives her, and sprints to the nearest exit.