The boys were leaving breakfast when they heard Umbridge and McGonagall arguing.
"-and Lupin. All the evidence points to them!" Umbridge said with a forced air of calm. "Minerva, you know it's them."
"Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew are in their second year! How would they have known how to summon nifflers from thin air?" McGonagall asked, nostrils flaring. "This is ridiculous, Dolores."
"It is ridiculous," Umbridge said, "that you don't have the wit to piece it together."
The Marauders looked at each other for a split second before Sirius took matters into his own hands.
He shouted at Umbridge, "If you think that you can insult Minnie like that, you can kiss my-"
"Mr. Black!" McGonagall cut him off, though the corners of her mouth almost twitched up.
Umbridge turned to him. "Are you serious?" she asked, deadly quiet.
"I am Sirius. Thanks for noticing," Sirius said, smirking. "Now are you going to kiss it or not?"
The corridor grew silent.
Umbridge stood still as stone.
The silence was broken when Marlene muttered with a grin, "Order of Merlin, first class."
"Detention, Mr. Black, Ms. Micinnion," Umbridge hissed angrily. "After dinner."
"Mr. Black, my office," McGonagall said, showing no emotion.
"Of course, Minnie," Sirius said.
With that, Sirius and McGonagall disappeared around the corner.
"Well, there's one thing we know for sure," Remus said. "He's getting biscuits."
"Another thing we know," James added, "He's not kidding about his relationship with Minnie. Sassing a teacher and making Minnie smile don't usually go together."
Remus and Peter went to class while James went to McGonagall's office to wait for Sirius.
In McGonagall's office, Sirius was munching on a biscuit.
"Mr. Black," McGonagall said, "Please limit yourself to only two or three biscuits."
"Are you sure, Minnie? It looks like you need them used up," Sirius said cheerfully.
"I'm sure, Mr. Black. No more than three biscuits."
"Alright," Sirius said, though not as excited as before.
"Well, we need to talk about your behavior. Asking Umbridge to kiss your… back end… is not appropriate for school," McGonagall said sternly, then gave a half smile, something rare. "But that sass was a good touch. Hypothetically, of course. And, hypothetically, I am very proud."
Sirius stared at McGonagall in silence as he registered what he had just heard.
She was proud. Minnie was proud of him. And she was smiling.
"Thanks, Minnie! Hypothetically," Sirius beamed.
"However, as you did talk like that to a teacher, you will need to go detention. I'm sorry, but I can't get you out of that," McGonagall finished flatly.
"That's okay, Minnie. Hypothetically, I have an idea."
"Good, Mr. Black. Now you need to get to class."
"See you in Transfiguration, Minnie!"
McGonagall opened the office door and let Sirius out.
"Was she smiling?" James asked in shock.
"Yeah, our relationship is better than ever," Sirius said happily. "I reckon I'll be able to propose at the end of the year!"
James stared at him. "Remus is right, you are delusional."
At lunch, James spit out his mandrake leaf, this time into Peter's soup.
Unfortunately, Remus saw it.
"You're still doing those leaves?" he asked. "Honestly, why are you eating mandrake leaves?"
"Er, no reason," James said, going red.
"No reason? Really?"
"Yeah. It's a dare," Sirius said quickly.
"From who?" Remus inquired.
"Peter," James and Sirius said at the same time.
"What did I do?" Peter asked.
"The dare," James said.
Peter still hadn't caught on. "What dare?"
"The dare," Sirius said, "the one with the mandrake leaves."
"Wha- oh, that dare. Yeah," Peter said slowly.
"What was the dare?" Remus asked.
"It was to keep a mandrake leaf in our mouth for the longest time. Me against James," said Sirius.
"Okay…."
"It's a very intense dare," added James.
"So since James spit his leaf out, shouldn't Sirius win?"
"Sirius, I challenge you to a rematch."
"Apparently not, as James thinks he can beat me. I'll just destroy him again," said Sirius.
"No, you can't win forever," James told him.
"We'll see about that," Sirius said smugly.
At dinner, the "dare" was still going. James had gotten a new mandrake leaf and Sirius was smirking.
"Did you really dare them?" Remus asked Peter.
"What? Yeah," Peter said.
Remus got a glimpse of something green in Peter's mouth. "Then why are you eating one, too?"
"Oh, I, uh, it's lettuce," Peter said lamely.
"Lettuce?"
"Yeah, lettuce is really healthy and stuff, so-"
Before Peter could finish, Dumbledore stood.
The hall quieted instantly.
"Yesterday, as I'm sure most of you realized, was April first, or April Fools Day," Dumbledore began. "A good number of pranks took place, including, but not limited to, the nifflers in Professor Umbridge's room, the problems with the staircases, and multiple fireworks and dungbombs that were set off."
"We didn't do dungbombs," Peter whispered.
"We're not the only ones at Hogwarts, I'm sure there were other pranks, we were just the most elaborate," Sirius whispered back.
"A number of these pranks were dubbed 'courtesy of the Marauders,'" Dumbledore continued.
A ripple went through the hall as people made assumptions and complained about their sore anatomy from Operation Moving Staircase.
James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter concealed their grins.
"Professor Umbridge has requested that I make an announcement and ask the group known as the Marauders to disband," Dumbledore said duly. "Or not use magical creatures in any future pranks."
Umbridge stood. "Hem, hem," she said, clearing her throat, "I wish that the Marauders disband completely. The staircases were undoubtedly their work, as were the tea cups that were left in my office. It took almost a week for me to be able to speak again. The Marauders are dangerous, and have no regard for the safety of their fellow students or themselves."
"What if they're not a student?" someone shouted. "What if Filch is behind it?"
"Filch is a squib, idiot," a Slytherin yelled back.
"I am sure," Dumbledore interrupted calmly, "that no teacher is behind this mischief. The Marauders, plural."
"What if it's multiple teachers?" a Ravenclaw asked.
"I do not know, but I ask, whoever the Marauders are, that they please comply with Professor Umbridge's wishes and-"
"Disband!" Umbridge said, giving a pointed look at the boys.
"Rethink their actions," Dumbledore finished. "Now, I know that you're all hungry, so please, eat, then return to your dormitories."
The food appeared on the platters before them, and dinner was served.
"We aren't disbanding, and we're still doing the ashwinders," Sirius decided.
"Agreed," James, Remus, and Peter said.
"I think that we need to make that clear," Sirius said.
"How? Standing up in front of the school and yelling, 'we're the Marauders and we won't stop pranking you,'" James said.
"Exactly," Sirius said, and began to stand.
"No!" Peter hissed, "We'll get caught!"
"I have an idea," Remus said. "After your detention with Umbridge, in the dorm."
"Alright," Sirius said. "Speaking of that, I should get to detention. See you guys later."
After the detention, Sirius rushed back to the dormitory.
"I nicked this from her office," he said, showing James, Remus, and Peter the blood quill.
"Give that to Dumbledore, that'll be proof to get her fired," James said.
"Or Minnie," Peter said.
"How many quills does she have?" Remus asked.
"I dunno, but at least ten," Sirius said. "I've used at ten different designs or styles when I've been in detention."
"Why? Do you have a plan?" Peter asked.
"Just some thoughts," Remus shrugged, "Anyway, we've decided that we aren't disbanding and still doing the ashwinders, so we can't agree to Umbridge's or Dumbledore's terms. We need to let them know that, right? So, I think we should write a note or something and owl it to Dumbledore."
"An anonymous note?" Peter checked.
"Yeah, signed by the Marauders, not our names."
"Okay," James said.
"I think we should just yell this out in the Great Hall," Sirius said.
"No," Peter said flatly.
"Fine," Sirius grumbled.
It didn't take very long to pen the note, which read:
Professor Dumbledore,
We heard your request that we disband or discontinue using magical creatures in our pranks. Unfortunately, we cannot disband, nor are we going to stop using magical creatures.
For now, we promise that the creatures we use will not be classified above XXX. No creatures have been harmed during any prank that we have planned and carried out.
The reason we cannot disband is simple; We have a common goal. If you notice a pattern between our pranks, you'll figure out why.
- The Marauders
"James, grab the cloak, we need to send this," Remus said, folding the parchment.
"Why the cloak, can't we just walk there?" Peter asked.
"Curfew," Remus said.
"Good point," Sirius decided.
"I've got the cloak," James said, holding up a silvery fabric.
"Alright, Owlery. You use a school owl, that'll cover our tracks," Remus said.
"You aren't coming?" James asked.
"No, I'll… clean up the ink and quill and stuff," Remus said.
"Okay," Sirius said. "So, just James, Peter, and I will go."
Under the cloak, James, Sirius, and Peter snuck to the Owlery. Fortunately, they didn't see anyone. That made their trip faster.
"We'll be back really fast, haven't seen Mrs. Norris or anything," Peter noted.
It seemed that the trip would take no more than fifteen minutes.
Then James and Sirius needed to decide which owl to employ.
"Let's do the snowy owl up there," James suggested.
"No, that'll be easy to track. What about that barn one?" Sirius said.
"Oh, look at that one up there, he's cute…."
Peter sighed. Knowing James and Sirius, this would take awhile.
Meanwhile, Remus had cleaned up the ink and was trying to figure out why his friends were eating mandrake leaves.
"It's a dare Sirius and James would do, but Peter? I doubt it. And why would he say he was eating lettuce?"
It was a well known fact that Peter hated lettuce. He must have been desperate if he decided to say he was eating lettuce.
They were up to something, and the fact that Remus didn't know what was frustrating.
It was also slightly worrisome, for many reasons.
"There's got to be an explanation," he muttered. Remus knelt to look under Sirius' bed.
Dirty socks, some parchment, and hidden beneath the clutter, a leather-bound book.
Remus curiously picked up the book, reading the title.
The Complete Animagus Transformation.