Sitting in the cockpit helped. It always worked, ever since Crius had sat him in his first cockpit, the man's country twang enhancing his words, "Now you're in control. You get to hit 'em back."

The cylons had been the least of his concerns those first sectons on the Zakar, but in the cockpit, he was alone, no one else to contend with but himself. Out there in the stars, there was no one he had to fight with, just him, the master of the controls and the instruments. Yeah, usually there was a raider or two to take out, but even that was a minor concern. In the cockpit he got to make all the decisions, even if he lived or died. In the cockpit of that sleek new craft, he held more than his fate in his own hands. Two questions: stay or go? It didn't need to be complicated.

In the cockpit, the decisions were simple. Altitude, speed, pitch, roll, yaw, turbos, thrusters. These things he could control and it helped to silence the fear gnawing at him. He let it flow through him as he followed the meditation mantra Gage had taught them, "Fear is the mind killer." He remembered back to how he and the others from Caprica had annoyed most of the Zakar pilots, academy graduates who must have been as young, fidgety and nervous as the Rats at some point in their lives, but the officers had several yahrens to learn how to deal with it. It was Gage that had to take over the trainings at some point, sending the rescued recruits on runs around the corridors to burn off their energy, then having them sit and clear their minds so they could control the ticks and twitches. Rene had tried to explain to the officers that they were kids used to roaming wide open spaces, alleys and streets, fields and forests, but no one really listened to her then. He'd not quite understood his own tendency to roam until she put it into words. He realized then why most of the guys he knew on Caprica could walk for miles, often did for no reason. He thought it was just because when you were underage, there wasn't much to do. Now that he was older, he still roamed. He'd covered all the corridors of the Galactica and at least twenty-two of the fleet's ships, more if you counted the Zakar and Shiva. Just two hundred and four to go. But Rene had understood, still did.

"We walk to think and to deal and to get as far as we can from the chaos," she had lamented to the Colonel. "You can't shove us in a box and not expect us to explode."

And yet the small cockpit, sometimes a tighter fit than a box, is where he felt free. He sat in that sleek ship pretending that he was learning how to fly it, but the new controls were digital and blank without the engines on. He sat there trying to decide if going back was worth it or if they should just stay here. He still didn't have an answer when the old man gently tapped him on the shoulder, telling him to get out and go get some real sleep.

He'd headed back up that long corridor to the man's home, counting the boxes of supplies. It was enough for those stranded from the Galactica for at least a few yahrens, but it wasn't enough for all those kids and not even close to a secton or two for Avery and his men. If they wanted to survive they either had to go back or kick out Avery. He was pretty sure that he could get Starbuck to convince the others to get rid of the men, but the kids?

He took a deep breath before he opened the door to Peryton's home. He gave the room a quick scan, noting the cloudy skies outside the window just barely visible through the wire mesh the old man had installed as a shield. The weather threatened more rain and he was grateful to be inside and dry. Rene and Starbuck were sound asleep on the couch and Apollo still slept in his chair, so he settled back down on the floor beside Rene and Starbuck in case they woke. The warmth of the fire finally cleared the way for sleep to find him. That and the knowledge that this wouldn't be such a bad place to stay if they had to. A bit boring, but then again, excitement was overrated.

He was jolted from a dream by the sound of Rene's screaming. It had been a good dream, one where he and Rene were camping in the days before the destruction, the rain drumming on the canvas. Instinctually he reached out, expecting to find Rene there beside him. His hand searched for her, finding only emptiness until his hand bashed into something solid that knocked him from sleep. He was disoriented, wondering for a moment if they were in Dante's home as the Commanders was one of the few on Dilmun with a proper structure of rock and steel. Rene's cries had stopped, but that didn't mean there wasn't danger. He struggled to sit up and Starbuck's voice guided him to the present as the man softly spoke to Rene.

"It's okay, shh, I'm not the enemy. Easy there, deep breaths. Come on, Pretty Lady, focus, deep breath in. That's it. Hold it, now blow it out."

Jake found himself following Starbuck's commands, taking his own breath, holding it as Starbuck counted slowly to four, letting it out. Rene's soft whimper was his own as Starbuck cautiously reached out to touch her, his voice calm and soothing as he told her that it was okay. "We're safe here. You're safe. I'm here. The enemy is gone. Take another breath."

Starbuck had Rene sit up and put her head down as he rubbed her back, speaking encouragingly the whole time. Jake took his own shuddering breath as he watched Starbuck accomplish easily what he never could. She had always had night terrors and had woken more than a dozen times taking a swing at him. He couldn't complain, he'd done the same with her at least a hundred times. They accepted that the dreams happened, but once awake, it often took a long while before either of them really were able to calm down. He had always thought it was because they had lived the same horror and their nightmares were woven of the same fabric. He and Rene had found themselves in a repeating pattern of sorrow and pain.

But he knew Starbuck's story. The narrative was so close to their own, a pattern with only a few variations. Added to it, now he had experienced the same torture with the Cylons, but he could calm Rene down like Jake never could. Despite all the man had been through, he still offered hope as if it weren't a lie.

"It's over. You made it. You survived and we are warm and safe." Starbuck's words were hypnotic. Jake closed his eyes and let the words slip through the gaps in his armor, the warmth of them radiating in his chest. "You saved the kids, and you stared the enemy down. You did what you had to and you survived. You're okay. We all made it."

Jake let the warmth touch his heart. Starbuck didn't diminish what they had been through. No, he did the opposite. He acknowledged that their experiences made them stronger, mightier, more able to go forward. Jake felt the tendrils of warmth explode in his chest. He gasped at the sensation and tried to tamp it down in the instinctual need to hide anything worth having so it wasn't taken away.

"Jake?" He cracked open an eye at his name, looking to Starbuck who had called out to him concerned. "You okay?"

He nodded before answering, not trusting his voice. "Yeah. We need some food and some water. I'll get it." He had to move away from the moment before he let it seduce him into believing. He was almost to his feet when he froze at Rene's soft words, her hand touching him.

"Where the hades are we?" She wasn't asking Starbuck, she was asking him and he held on to that small bit of need like a buoy in the typhoon that was trying to drown him. He gave her his full focus, taking note of the confusion still clouding her vision, but she at least looked far more alert than she had since before they had parted on the ridgetop above the Cylon encampment.

"It's okay," he answered her. "All that matters is that we're safe. Like he said, we made it. They can't get us here. We need to eat, and there's food. Good food. I think there might even be stuff to make waffles."

He tried to suppress the smile as her eyes lit up. For them it was a code, more potent and powerful than any hand sign. The days that were good began with waffles. There had been six of them that they counted as perfect days, ones they would talk about as if legendary and they all began with waffles. Maybe this could be number seven. The hope was there as Starbuck looked to him.

"That would be great. It's been forever since I had a waffle, Lords, I think before the destruction."

Jake was spared the full force of Starbuck's grin as Boomer handed a bottle of water to him. Starbuck cracked it open and made sure that Rene drank first. The distraction broke the spell that Rene's gaze had upon him. He got to his feet, taking his own bottle of water from Boomer's hand, downing it before he reached for the biomonitor on the table and waved it over Rene. He tried to hide the wincing as he read the results, but Starbuck and Boomer shared a grim look before Starbuck slid his encouraging smile back into place.

"Some food in us would be wonderful before we take that flight home."

He nodded to Starbuck understanding that the man knew everything he needed to.

"If he doesn't have a waffle maker, well then it will be pancakes." Jake set the biomonitor on the table, where Boomer picked it up and winced himself at the results. Jake scanned the room, finding that Apollo had left his perch in his chair by the window. He wondered briefly where the Colonel had gone, and noted that Max wasn't there either. He looked to Boomer for answers, and the man read the question before he could ask it.

"They are helping Peryton with a few tasks before we can go. I had just come up to check on getting us all some dinner."

"I will get something going," Jake answered knowing that Boomer would join him in the food prep area. He waited until Boomer was going through cupboards too before he whispered to him, "we need to talk."

"She's not getting better," Boomer stated thinking that was what Jake needed to tell him, but he shook his head at the warrior turned family.

"Worse, she doesn't have the device. We are going to make a new one. And Starbuck's not getting better either. Please tell me there was enough fuel for them to launch."

Boomer pulled the needed appliance from a cabinet, a much-abused waffle iron. "We think so. We are just working on the solar panels now."

"Solar panels? That ship has batteries that need charging?" Jake opened the chiller to find real eggs and wondered briefly where the geezer was hiding the fowl. A fresh fowl dinner could go a long way to making them all feel better.

"Needs the power and the rain has corroded some of the wires. And about Peryton, he's staying."

As he found the rest of the ingredients in the places he would have stored them, including syrup, he cursed at Boomer. "Frack me! And you're going to let him?"

He thought he knew the warrior, but he had to wonder about all their interactions. He quickly decided that he'd be sharing his idea on how to resolve the problem with Starbuck. It was just the right situation to harness Sire Gold Clusters righteous indignation problem. Plus, he might be able to talk the geezer into it without having to follow Jake's idea of shooting the guy and loading him onto the shuttle on a stretcher.

"He's an adult. He can make his own decisions. I'm just grateful for the help he's given us."

Jake tried not to glare at the man, plus it was hard to glare when you found breakfast meat in a fully stocked chiller. He settled for a different approach.

"Uh huh, so when does this adult status kick in? I don't recall getting to make many choices." Jake found the rest of the supplies and began to mix them together in the bowl he found. Boomer didn't answer him as he got out the skillet to start frying up meat and eggs. The steady tylium flame on the stove was encouraging and he began to wonder if the man had more supplies stashed away than he let on. He was distracted from that line of thinking as Starbuck helped Rene to her feet and the two disappeared down to the turbowash.

Jake was working on the first waffle when Starbuck reappeared, guiding Rene to a seat at the table before he headed into the food prep area.

"So brief me, Boomer," Starbuck asked as he began opening cupboards and pulling down the makings for fresh java, slamming cupboards more forcefully than he needed to. "Who is this guy and why is he so well stocked when Avery's men are hiding out in caves?"

"Designer of vipers, and apparently a friend of the Commander," Boomer answered tending to the eggs, pointing to a cupboard for Starbuck to pull down some plates. Starbuck slammed that cupboard as well. "You want to take it easy there?" Boomer said. "You wake up on the wrong side of the couch? This not good enough accommodations for you? You want to go back to that bed and breakfast with the cave décor? You prefer rocks for a pillow? There's bacon for Sagan's sake."

The hairs on Jake's neck raised and he looked up to find Starbuck staring at him with the most serious expression he had ever seen on the warrior's face. The joker and optimist were gone. If Jake didn't know any better he would say that was fear tinging the warrior's eyes.

"I've got borelian laser bolls slamming into the side of my head. I feel like I swallowed a few dozen Scorpia dueling blades and she's asking me how we got here and where Ari is. You want to tell me what the biomonitor said?"

Jake sighed looking away. "Food will help."

"Really? That's all it's going to take? Don't lie to me. I can't take it right now."

"Well it isn't going to hurt. Time will help too."

"A medical facility on the Galactica will help. How are we going to get there, Jake? We don't have time."

Boomer spoke up before Jake could find the words to reassure the warrior. "Do you have the device? Jake says Rene doesn't have it."

"What? No, Frack," Starbuck turned away, cursing softly as he pulled down a mug, nearly breaking it as he slammed it down on the counter.

Jake made sure not to burn the waffle, pulling it out before he took the step towards Starbuck. He placed a hand on his back as Starbuck was still staring at the Java maker. "We can make another one."

Starbuck didn't look up as he took a few measured breaths. "And if her brain is scrambled, what use is the device going to do us?"

"You're going with her. If you get lost, then…"

Starbuck snapped at him, "Then we're both dead from whatever we sucked down in that pond! At least here…" Starbuck looked to Rene who had moved from the table and was looking at something on the old man's bookshelves. Starbuck took a breath before he said quietly, "at least here we die in comfort."

Jake didn't mean to laugh but the sarcastic chuckle snuck up on him. Starbuck narrowed his eyes at him but Jake spoke before Starbuck could, "And miss out on the medals and accolades? Not your style."

Starbuck turned away, focusing back on the java machine, but Jake held his position, as awkward as it was for him to be touching what at times seemed his opponent. "Look, she's talking. It took sectons for Nik to do that, and at least a few cycles for myself. And as for the device, I helped make it. I fly into that rift and all she does is make a wish. She can still do that. We know the coordinates, that's half the formula." He found his hand rubbing Starbuck's back as he mimicked what he might do for Kiff or Kalea if they were upset.

Starbuck didn't respond, just stared at the Java as it trickled into the container. Jake didn't know what to do so he moved away back to doing what he could, making some food. He had four waffles made before Starbuck handed him a java speaking softly, "I'm not telling her what happened to Ari. No one should have to go through that twice."

Jake nodded knowing full well that was the carrot he was going to dangle in front of Rene if her brain was really a pile of felgercarb. It might still get them back to the Zakar and the fleet, or worst case scenario back to Dilmun where he knew there was untainted food and some medical supplies. "We can get back. She's sick, so are you, but you're not going to die here."

Starbuck nodded back, grabbing a waffle as he mumbled, "Where's Apollo? You got Rene?"

Jake just nodded at him and Boomer took the pan off the stove and grabbed some bacon and a waffle, handing some of the meat to Starbuck as he said he'd show him the way. Jake couldn't help to breathe a sigh of relief as the two Colonials left the room leaving him alone with Rene. He loaded up a couple of plates and headed for the table. He nearly dropped them as the sound system came on with a familiar song by the Fabulon Four, "Back in the Tauron". Rene looked over her shoulder at him smiling.

"He has the blue album."

"That's worth some money. Think we should take it with us." Jake set the plates down and went back for the java using it to lure Rene over. "You need to eat."

She nodded coming over to take a seat, but only reaching for the java. "Some p..p..party huh? I don't re…re…remember."

"Yeah some party. Eat, please." The pleading made Rene look at him, her face shifting from pleasure to confusion.

"Who are these g…guys?"

Jake was beginning to understand why Starbuck had to flee the room and for a brief moment wondered if he should fix the problem or just enjoy the fact that Rene still thought she might be his, but he knew that was wrong on so many levels. He settled on an easy version of the truth.

"They're the good guys. Now eat." She complied and he did the same as he read the biomonitor trying to analyze what he could do based on the readings. The bacterium was barely being held in check with the medications he was using. Starbuck was right; they were running out of time as he was running out of medications that would work. Soon the illness would win.

"Rene, do you remember the device? We need to make a new one."

She jolted in her seat, her face a mask of pain, so sudden and intense Jake almost cried out for her as he leapt from his seat to get to her. It passed quickly and she gripped the table breathing hard.

"Baby?" He wrapped his arm around her wishing there was more he could do.

"Yeah…uh…yeah…I…I left it by the c…c..creek. Oh frack…I…yeah..yeah….We have to get out of here!"