Alice In the Nuthouse

by All My Friends Are Heathens

Alice Liddel has been sent to a "hospital" to be helped to overcome delusions that have afflicted her for years but that she claims are memories of factual events. She doesn't realize until later that she's actually in an asylum, and no one believes her because they think she's crazy. This leaves Alice distraught until she meets some other patients and finds out she's not alone.

12. Jane II

Jane

I impatiently drum my ragged fingernails against my desk, watching the chipped, crooked ends click against the wood as I wait for Alice to come in. I've been biting my nails more and more recently, oftentimes without percieving it. A bad habit from my childhood that I'd thought I'd overcome years ago, but that had recently resurfaced, presumably as a result of stress. After a few minutes in a daze, lost in thought as I watch my fingers continuously moving - seemingly of their own volition, as I am currently unable to focus or will myself to move otherwise- I finally notice that I've been gnawing on my lower lip as well. I stop myself, freezing altogether so that my fingers finally stop tapping on the desk, and I am sitting in silence.

Compulsive chewing - Common expression of anxiety and a natural outlet for inborn aggression. Some may argue that-

"Stop it." I tell myself, jumping slightly. I hadn't meant to say it out loud. But the need to suppress the old school notes that keep rushing into my mind is overwhelmingly potent. I know that I've not quite been myself lately, but every unusual behavior of mine does not require dissection, diagnosis. These are old habits, not psychoses.

I tell myself this every day, more and more.

I hesitantly reach into my bag and pull out my compact mirror, deciding to look myself over. I've purposefully been avoiding my reflection as of late. I didn't even look at myself before leaving the house this morning. I stare into my own eyes and realize with much despair that I don't recognize them, nor any part of the haggard face looking back at me. Pale and gaunt, deep-set eyes surrounded by purple shadows of the hours of sleep that had evaded me for weeks. Hair limp and unbrushed, running loose around my shoulders. I blink in confusion, unable to remember the last time I'd pulled my hair up into its signature style. Nothing too special or intricate; a loose bun, quick to throw my hair up into at any point. Simple. But now, to my foggy mind, out of my mental grasp.

It would be obvious to anyone who crossed my path that I haven't been sleeping. How could I possibly, with everything that's been going on? The time to get Alice out of this place is running out, and I have no one to help me on that venture. My father never replied to my letter asking for his support, or any other message I've sent to him since then. And Helena and her henchmen have been acting more and more beastly as of late. I've been insulted and blatantly harrassed, but only in private, with no witnesses, and no one believes me when I try to bring attention to it. I am constantly undermined by fellow doctors in front of the patients; talked down to, belittled, criticized. They keep turning my words around and getting me confused, taking advantage of my sleepless & muddled mind to make me seem stupid...or simply looney. I hear them whisper things about me, when they must know that I'm within earshot.

I think they're conspiring against me.

I also know that those thoughts don't help my case. I can't afford to let them see me slip up. But I can't help feeling alone now, more than ever. I gave up on trying to explain things to Belle when she told me that Merida thinks I need a break from this place, because obviously this job has taken a toll on me. The only person I can confide in is Tiana, the cook. I know I can trust her because she's a diligent, no-nonsense kind of woman. Here to work, not to make friends, but always a listening ear for anyone who comes along with a heavy heart. She's sturdy and reliable, a calming presence in these troubling times.

I suppose I'll just have to stop by my father's flat tonight, to see why he hasn't replied to my letters. I figure it must be a complication with delivery, as I've sent numerous letters now. Daddy's never put off responding to me before. He's always been attentive and helpful to me. He wouldn't just ignore me, especially over something this important. Yes, it must be an issue with the post office...

Unless someone else has been interfering...

I shake my head. This is what they want. Me doubting myself, becoming paranoid. Though I can't shake the feeling that Helena is to blame for all this, I won't allow myself to be scared away. Try as they might to drive me out of here, it won't work. I will stay strong.

"Who's this, looking back at me?" I whisper to myself, cracking a smile. "I'm sure I've never seen her before in my life." I answer myself and laugh. Then, I stow the compact away, sighing. I search through my bag for a ribbon. I don't have a hairbrush with me, but I'll make do. I run my fingers through the lack-lustre strands and then slowly pile the hair around the crown of my head. I take my time securing the bundle of hair with the blue silk ribbon, then pull the compact back out to look myself over again. I still look like a ghost of myself, but more like a version of me that people would recognize. "There she is..." I mumble, closing the compact and putting it away again.

There's a knock at the door.

"Come in." My voice sounds like a meek chirp.

The door creaks open and Alice steps inside, more brave and purposeful than she's been in a number of weeks. She almost looks relieved to see me. Belle is behind her, smiling at me as though she still considers me a good friend, which I suppose is true. Belle doesn't give up on people easily.

Right now Belle's brunette brows are popping up in surprise. "Your hair's up!"

I laugh timidly and nod. "Yes, I just kind of...tossed it up. It's not much."

"It looks nice." Belle assures me. She glances around the office. "Is there no one else here?" She seems confused.

I can't help frowning at the strange question. "No. Why?" Has there ever been another person in my office? Honestly.

Belle seems perplexed for a moment. Alice is looking between the two of us, seeming strangely impatient for Belle's departure.

"We just thought we heard you talking to someone. Just before we knocked." Belle explains.

"Oh, no. I was just thinking aloud." I respond as casually as I can manage. I know how it makes me sound, but it's the truth.

Belle nods, as though it's not an unusual answer at all (which, given the way her father is, might be exactly how she considers it), and says, "Oh, alright then. Just send Alice back to my office when you two are done. She's making excellent progress in her lessons, I'm sure you'll be happy to note."

I smile genuinely, for the first time in awhile. "That's wonderful."

Belle smiles back at me, then at Alice before turning to leave. Alice watches her go, waits for the door to shut before moving to seat herself in front of my desk with a sense of urgency I've never seen in her before.

"I really am glad to hear that your tutoring is going well, Alice." I say to her with as much exuberance as I can muster, trying to get a direct response from her. Maybe it's just a vain attempt to regain her trust, and the closeness we once shared.

"We don't have time to discuss that." Alice replies bluntly, the most serious I've ever seen her.

"Excuse me?" I can't help being confused, and a bit startled.

"Jane, I believe you to be in grave danger." She leans forward, gripping the edge of the desk with pale fingers.

"What? " I am suddenly afraid that she may have seriously regressed, or is acting out in some way to get my attention. Whatever the case, she's potentially sabotaging any chance she has of escaping this place. I need to stop this before it escalates. "Alice, that's-"

"I know how it sounds, but you must listen. You owe me that much."

"Owe you?"

"Jane, Helena is planning something against you. Something awful. And another life may be in danger, not just yours. It would be best for everyone if you just left the hospital, now, before it's too late!"

Whatever delusion she's created for herself, it's a powerful one. She actually seems afraid that something is going to happen. I can feel the thoughts that have been worrying me recently coming back in a rush, but I have to keep a level head.

"Alice, dear, that's absurd. What exactly do you think is going on? Let's talk this through, together."

"There's no time for that!" She cries, jumping up from her seat, slamming her dainty palms on the top of the desk. I rear back, shocked, while she continues. "Jane, you must go, and tell the authorities that there is something wrong here and they must investigate! Tell them to inspect Helena's office and they'll see! Peter and I can tell them exactly where to look!"

"I'm sorry, what? How do you-?" I cut myself off as the horrifying realization dawns on me. "No... You didn't. Alice, please tell me that you and Peter didn't go sneaking around in Ms. Hornsby's office."

Tears have sprung up in her eyes now. She knows that's she's upset me, but she has no way of understanding the weight of this terrible mistake she's made.

"Jane..."

"Tell me you didn't!"

"I had to! I had to after I saw the way the upstairs patients are treated!" The tears are falling now, beyond her control. She fretfully wrings her hands.

A hand flies up to cover my mouth, which has fallen open supposedly to gasp, but no sound can escape me for a moment. I never thought I could be so afraid and not be able to scream.

"It's abuse, Jane!" She goes on, trying to convince me to be on her side. "You've seen it, haven't you? It's terrible! I needed to know how Helena could justify keeping them like that! But then there was another file, hidden away-"

"Alice Liddel, you ingrate!" I practically roar, rising from my own seat. Alice stumbles back until her back hits an old cabinet by the door, cowers before me. We are equally astounded by the volume of my words, but the sheer rage that fuels them is what's truly frightful. Even in my anger, a part of me knows that my reaction is a bit unreasonable, and certainly unprofessional. But the uglier part of me that's been coming to the surface so much lately just doesn't care.

"It doesn't matter what you found in there, Alice! How could you?!"

"Jane, please!" She sobs.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?! And you've gone and dragged Peter into it, as well!"

"No! He just wanted to help!"

"Help what?! Alice, I just- I can't believe, after everything- Ugh!" I'm not used to being inarticulate, but this anger has become a hindrance. It's unendingly frustrating.

"It's already started..." Alice whimpers. She gets a little braver and straightens up, tries to speak evenly over her quivering chin. "Whatever's coming, they've been planning for awhile. That's why you haven't been acting like yourself lately, because they've already done something to you!"

I force myself to take a deep breath, closing my eyes. When I open them again, my expression must be something truly fearful to behold, because Alice has almost shrunk into herself. When I speak, my voice is unexpectedly low, and deadly calm. "You foolish girl. I won't entertain these fantasies of yours any more. Maybe once you and your little friend have dealt with the consequences of your actions, you'll truly understand what an awful blunder this was." I start moving toward the door, but she jumps in my way.

"No, Jane! You cannot go to Helena! I need to make you understand-"

"What you don't understand is that she's my superior, Alice! I must make her aware of all patients' deviations. She has a right to know when the rules of her hospital have been broken, and when nosy children have the gall to trespass in her office and rifle through her files!"

"Jane, just listen-"

I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh deeply. "You've no idea the impossible position you've put me in..."

"I'm just trying to warn you-"

"After how I've tried to convince Helena that you don't belong here, that you should be released. I've worked so hard for you, Alice. And this is how you repay me? Blatant disregard for the rules, no thought of the consequences, coming to me with these conspiracies... Helena and I may disagree a lot, but to insinuate that she would try to sabotage me in some way..." I shake my head, trying to reel in the errant thoughts of how I'd suspected something similar before. But it was ridiculous. This was a safe space, there was no hidden agenda here. This was my career, and the well-being of both Alice and myself at stake! I cannot allow the girl to go on in this manner, or there will be no hope in her recovery. We both just need to bide our time a little longer..."This is humiliating! You'll be lucky to ever be able to leave this place after this!"

"If you go to Helena right now, neither of us will ever be leaving!"

"Enough of this nonsense." I push past her and out the door. She's right on my tail for a few paces down the hall, howling at me to stop and listen, but I refuse to lose my nerve. I spot Merida down the hall, who was alerted by the girl's wails and is already heading our way. I tilt my head over my shoulder, my eyes locked on the redhead's. Merida follows my indication and swoops in behind me, grabbing Alice by the arms.

"No!" Alice cries, struggling to keep following me down the hall. "Jane, wait! They're going to do something horrible!"

"Easy there, lass..." Merida tries in her most soothing tone.

"Take her to her room. Lock the door." I bark at Merida without turning around.

Alice continues to fight and scream and cry as Merida practically drags her away. Though her voice, distressed and tiny, tears at my heart, my resolve strengthens as it fades further and further away. I turn the corner and finally take a pause, standing with my hands on my hips and breathing deeply to steady myself. Finally, I can't hear her any more, and I can think.

I can continue on this path to Helena Hornsby's office, inform her immediately of this unfortunate turn of events, and dive straight into the hellish future that awaits me, Alice...and now Peter, as well, I realize. How regrettable.

I turn toward the door leading toward the foyer and realize that I'm chewing on my lower lip again. I press my lips firmly together in an effort to stop it.

I'm in no state to face Helena right now. I ought to go somewhere to gather my thoughts, prepare myself for what is bound to be a very unpleasant meeting, and whatever events may follow. Maybe chat with Tiana about how to approach the subject in a way that gives me more control over the conversation's outcome. If I can convince Helena to allow me to carry out the punishments, there can still be a possibility of Alice and Peter coming out of this relatively undamaged. But I can't trust myself to not let my emotions get in the way, and chances are slim enough as it is, given Helena's temper...

I know I ought to go to Belle, but she's as personally invested in Alice as I am. Tiana's input could do me better, as she can remain impartial. Aside from occasionally being assigned to help in the kitchen, Alice has had very little interaction with Tiana. Besides, given the tenuous state of mine and Belle's friendship, I'm unsure that she and I will be able to work together on this.

I make my way to the dining hall, which is currently empty, and slip into the kitchen. Tiana is chopping potatoes while two of the patients who regularly assist her- Naveen and Kenai- are cleaning up from a morning of meal prepping. Rourke and Gaston are guarding the doors, both watching me like hawks. I do my best to ignore them.

"Tiana? May I speak with you, privately?" I ask in a tone that I hope is nonchalant.

She smiles at me so warmly that I almost feel at ease, and nods as she reaches up one forearm to wipe the sweat from her chin. "Of course, Ms. Porter. We just finished up." She turns to the two young men. "Good job today, boys. As always." She then nods at each of the security guards. "Why don't you both escort the boys to the courtyard for some free time, before they gotta go back to their rooms? I think they deserve it."

I can tell that both Rourke and Gaston are hesitant. Neither of them like being told what to do by a woman who isn't Helena, much less by a woman as dark-skinned as Tiana. I know it's taking every ounce of Rourke's self-control for him not to respond disrespectfully. Gaston is more easily won over because, despite her strong personality, Tiana does have quite a lovely face. And there's something in her tone and expression that does not invite argument, no matter how superior these men may feel they are to her. She's garnered much respect from coworkers and patients alike over the years. Despite their pride, both men know it would be unwise to be on her bad side.

Gaston leads Naveen and Kenai out. Rourke follows the three of them, but not before giving me a long, intense look. I watch them go, dread knotting up my stomach.

"How can I help, hon?" Tiana asks me once we are alone, not stopping her work.

I sigh and walk over to lean against the counter, across from her work space. I cross my arms. "I'm afraid some of the younger patients have been misbehaving..."

Tiana shrugs. "Kids act out under normal circumstances. Can't blame 'em for it in this environment."

"It's more than that."

Tiana raises her eyebrows, still focused on her cutting board. "Oh?"

"I'm afraid that they've seriously crossed a line. And that the disciplinary action that will follow will be...quite harsh."

Tiana finally pauses mid-chop and looks up at me, the tip of her knife resting against the wooden board, the handle firmly in her grasp. "What exactly did these kids do?"

I try to find the best way to put it, but there's no softening the blow. "They snuck around the second floor and let themselves into Helena's office after dark."

Tiana stares at me for a moment, then whistles, shaking her head. "My, my..."

"It was a very hefty mistake."

"Very hefty." Tiana agrees, obviously disapproving. Then, a touch of anger ignites her tone. "Was it Aurora? 'Cuz I have told that girl again and again-"

"It wasn't Aurora."

She catches the tightness of my jaw, the clear conflict in my eyes. Her expression softens.

"Alice?"

I nod.

She sighs. "But...not alone?"

"Peter helped."

Tiana scoffs. "That boy... Always right when I think he's turning out alright..." She gives me a measured look. "You know Hornsby'll just about skin the both of 'em."

"I'm hoping that I'll be able to prevent that. Do you have any ideas for navigating the conversation in a way that might turn it in my favor?"

Tiana thinks for a moment, already shaking her head. "I dunno, Jane... Alice has had you and Helena at odds since she first arrived. If it were just the girl gettin' up to no good, that'd be one thing. But now she's actin' a bad influence and dragging other patients into her drama. This'll crucify any viable argument you have against Helena's methods."

I groan, running my hands over my face. "I know... I know."

"I gotta be honest, I don't really see a way that this turns out well... What were those two even thinkin' ?"

I sigh and push my fingers into my hair. My loosely-tied bun comes undone and my hair tumbles down to my shoulders, but I can't be bothered to fix it up again. "I don't know, they were just playing detective... I suppose they thought they were doing something heroic."

"How's that?"

"Alice alluded to somehow helping the patients upstairs. But..."

"Oh, poor baby... Maybe she really is delusional." Tiana interjects, ever the cynic. Then she realizes that my statement was unfinished. "But?"

I bite my lip, contemplating whether or not I should continue. "But...there's something else. Something about me."

"About you? "

"Yes, it's..." I laugh uneasily. "It's silly, um... Probably just something she thought up to try and manipulate me. I think Alice will do anything to get my attention at this point."

"What'd she say to you?"

I roll my eyes and stare up at the ceiling, unwilling to meet Tiana's careful, probing gaze. "She claims that they saw something in Helena's office that was...intended to... I don't know, be used against me in some way."

"Maybe she's caught on to how you've been feeling alienated here lately? And she's taking advantage of it. The kid's a little out there, but she's not dumb."

I scoff. "I suppose we have Belle to thank for that." I catch Tiana's pointed look and catch myself. "You're right, no diverting. I apologize."

"It's alright. I know you're frustrated. But you've gotta reel that in before you go see Helena."

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. Tiana has started chopping again. "There's no way to win this, is there?"

Tiana is quiet for a moment, thinking it over. I wait patiently for her response, as I am in no rush to move onto the next chapter of Alice's treatment.

"I'm not sure. I do think there's a difficult road ahead... But I also think that, whether Alice realizes it or not, anyone else can see that you're on her side in this. This recent behavior of hers, all the dishonesty and plotting...it's not right. Regardless of the method, it's gotta be corrected. Right?"

I nod mutely.

Tiana continues, "That's your job here, Jane. Maybe Alice will realize one day that you're doing her a service, because in spite of her personal failure or lack of good judgment, you still believe in her enough to want to continue treating her. You only came to speak to me because you're so concerned with protecting these kids from Hornsby. Whatever she decides to do with them is on her. All you can do from here on out is keep doing your job well, and keep looking out for that girl. I know that you've only ever acted in the girl's best interest. And I trust that you'll continue to do what's right. But only if you're sure it's the best course of action."

I chuckle. "You have more faith in me than I do."

Tiana smirks. "Listen, I gotta go into town and grab some ingredients for the soup tonight. Come find me after everything's done with. We'll talk if you need to."

"You may be my only friend after this... Belle's going to be heartbroken. And Merida will always blame me..."

"But Alice will learn from her mistake."

"Yes, I hope so."

"Good luck, Jane. I'll see you in a bit." Tiana is walking toward the dining hall with a list in hand, probably heading to her room to get her jacket and purse.

"Thank you, Tiana." I call after her. I watch the door shut behind her, and hesitate to leave just yet, closing my eyes and melting temporarily into the blissful silence, alone in the kitchen.

The peace is soon shattered when a large set of loafers stumbles in from the courtyard. That door slams shut, and the lock clicks into place before my eyes are even opened. I turn to see Clayton gazing at me with heavy-lidded eyes, a sickening smirk sprawled across his reddened face. He moves from his lazy lean against the locked door and trudges sluggishly toward me. It's obvious that he's intoxicated, and I can clearly tell what it is he's come for.

"Clayton, what exactly do you think you're doing? This is highly unprofessional..." I show my disgust plainly and start backing up toward the door to the dining room, my only way out. "You... You smell like a distillery!"

"I was just making my rounds..." He drawled clumsily as he continued to advance on me. "When I passed by Rourke and Gaston, and they told me that you were waiting for me here."

"I'm sorry?" I demand, still backing away. I start to reach behind me to find the doorknob. I don't want to take my eyes off him for a second.

"They told me that you informed them that you've considered my past offers, and that I should find you if I'm looking to have a bit of fun." His eyes are roaming over me now, hungry and greedy for every curve I'm compiled of.

"Ugh, as if I would ever, at work or any where else! I never took you for an idiot before, even when you've been drinking." I cry, indignant. His feelings hardly seem hurt. He's moving more purposefully toward me now, faster. I turn and try to get to the door, but he grabs me by the shoulder and pulls me back. I duck under his arm and get behind him. He turns unsteadily toward me again, and I start to back up toward the counter. He's now blocking my way out. I avoid glancing toward the door to the courtyard. The lock on it is old and rusted and much too heavy for me to even budge it. I'd be more likely to snap the damn thing than make it out of here, it gets stuck so easily...

"Shall we take this up to your office, my dear?" He asks me, teetering on unsure feet. I'm mildly surprised that he's still so articulate. "Quite kinky... I never would have expected that from you, my dear."

"Clayton, use your head. This is clearly another one of their jokes. Another cruel jab at my reputation here. You must know that I wouldn't be interested in any such...activity!" I'm edging around the counter to the other side, where I know Tiana keeps all the kitchen tools. I briefly consider grabbing a knife, but think better of it. I don't need to seriously hurt him, just keep him at bay long enough to get through the door and get help. I glance around for something to throw, as he's now coming around the counter as well. I keep stalling, continually backing up. I know that the ovens and stove top are behind me now. And hanging directly above them are all the pots and pans.

"Clayton, please think about this, just for a moment!" I plead. I don't want to have to hurt him, but I'm terrified at this point. His ability to walk isn't completely impaired, and he's talking just fine. This must mean that he's sober enough to realize what he's doing. He's watching me so closely, he must know I don't want this, that Rourke and Gaston have led him astray. But he doesn't care, I've realized, much to my horror. He knows what he wants- what he's wanted for so long- and he's going to take it, one way or another.

"Come now, dear Jane. Don't be a tease..." He throws out a hand to grab at me. I can't help shrieking as I leap back, narrowly avoiding his grasp. He laughs at me.

I grit my teeth. "I've had enough of this! All these antics at my expense by you and your friends. I won't be treated this way any more!"

He pouts at me. "Oh, poor little Jane..." The pout cracks into a feral grin. "I know how to put you at ease..."

"No! You stay away from me!"

He glares at me, all pretense of playfulness gone now. "I'm tired of you always rebuking and avoiding me... Am I really so unappealing to you? I'll make you realize-"

I turn and grab a frying pan from behind me before he has a chance to finish. I can hardly hear his angered shout over the sound of my own heart pounding. I whip my arm back behind me, frying pan in hand, without turning my head to look at him. There's a solid cracking noise, and the pan shakes in my grip, the sound of reverberating metal ringing through the air and slowly fading away. I turn to see Clayton stumbling back and buckling over, sagging to his knees while pressing one palm over a bleeding temple. I hardly have the time to register the crimson trickling over his eye and down to his chin before I turn and bolt toward the door.

Then, there's another loud clang, seemingly from within my own head, and everything goes black.

Helena

I wasn't expecting such tenacity from this wisp of a girl. I thought we'd broken her down enough to execute this without much of a fight. Of course, I hadn't expected Clayton to enter the situation while inebriated... Idiot.

Things have certainly not been going according to plan... No matter. I shall overcome and carry on in spite of this little hiccup. Unfortunately, now I have a loose end to tie up...

"Good Lord..."

I turn to see Clayton unsteadily rising to his feet, groaning and heaving like an animal. He has to lean on the countertop to remain upright. It was a fairly impressive blow to the head.

"I am so terribly sorry, Ms. Hornsby... I simply don't know what came over her!" He begins to bluster at me.

"I believe the issue was more a matter of what came on to her, Mr. Clayton." I remark calmly, starting to walk toward him. I still have the frying pan in my hand. The same one Jane hit him with, the same one he saw me use to knock her unconscious. While one eye is squeezed shut to avoid the blood from his head wound, the other is wide open, constantly flickering between my face and the pan.

After a few glances at my expression, he figures that any attempts to flat-out lie would be useless. So he settles on trying to charm me instead. Predictable.

He does his best to grin at me. "Oh, I assure you, this is not what it looks like. Please, allow me to explain-"

"No need."

I'm already in striking distance, and he's been too focused on the pan to be prepared for what comes next. I throw up my free hand, releasing the tiny blade I keep concealed in my sleeve. It lashes out on the end of a thin, silver chain and pushes through the soft skin of his throat with ease, planting itself deep into the flesh. He gasps, stunned by the inescapable pain that had come almost too fast for his eye to catch. There's no blood yet. Then, with one quick tug of my arm, the chain rakes the blade to the side, dragging metal through muscle and carving a line across Clayton's neck in an instant. The blood bubbles forth from the gash and streaks down his body with a sudden force. He involuntarily tilts his head back, glassy eyes searching the ceiling for an escape as the blood funnels out of him excessively, spurting at times as though from a fountain, pooling on the ground around him. On the dark wooden floor, it seems to turn black. Then, his last breath escapes him and he topples over, a lifeless shell of a once strong, prideful man.

It's all I can do not to laugh at foolish men like this.

"Typical." I sigh. The chain slithers up into my sleeve once more, taking the blade with it. I look around until I see the knife block. After a moment's consideration, I find the one knife with a blade small enough to be believable. Then I quickly swipe it through the pool of blood surrounding Clayton, and place it in the sleeping Jane's hand, carefully pressing her fingers over the handle.

I step back until I'm leaning against the counter, brandish the frying pan like a shield, and scream and wail until a small team of security comes rushing in to see what's happened. It's Rourke, Gaston, Helga, Shang and Flynn who burst in to find me standing in the midst of a murder.

"What the hell happened?!" Flynn demanded, immediately kneeling down to check Jane's pulse while Shang and Helga go to inspect Clayton's body, and Gaston and Rourke rush to either side of me. I continue to scream, forcing tears down my face, appearing hysterical. Rourke gently hushes me- which I despise, but must allow to pass- and places his hands on my shoulders while Gaston starts to untangle my fingers from the handle of the frying pan.

"Sh-she did it!" I shriek, pointing at Jane. "I came in when I heard a commotion, and watched as she hit Clayton over the head with that." I nod at the pan that Gaston is now holding.

"What? " Flynn scoffs.

"Jane did this?" Shang asked, obviously in disbelief.

"Both of you shut it!" Rourke barked. Then, to me, more gently, "Then what happened?"

"Then she threw the thing at me and went for the knife! I couldn't stop her in time... Couldn't stop her before she cut his throat! I had to do something, so grabbed that frying pan and hit her as hard as I could. I had to!"

"We understand, Helena. It's alright now."

"No, it's not!" I wail. "She killed him! Murdured him, and it may as well be my fault! She's gone mad!"

I collapse against Rourke as though my knees have given out, and he is suddenly hard-pressed to keep my on my feet as I continue to blubber. They're all staring at me as though I've lost my mind. After all, how could Jane Porter do something like this? But my performance must be convincing enough, because Rourke orders Flynn and Shang to lock Jane up somewhere while he and Gaston take care of Clayton's corpse.

"Here, I'll take her." Helga mutters, and Rourke practically pushes me into her arms. I continue to snivel into Helga's shoulder while Rourke shouts after Shang, "Put her in Cinderella's room for now!"

"Oh, that's right. I almost forgot about that." Helga sighs.

"What an awful, wretched day!" I gasp. "Two lives lost, and another one good as gone! It can't get any worse!"

"Hey." Helga says, firmly, holding me back at arms' length and looking me in the eye. "Cinderella wouldn't want you to think like that. We should all just be grateful that you're alright. Who knows what Jane might have done if you hadn't stepped in?"

"I suppose you're right..." I sniff, tears still falling steadily. This is one part of these games I always loved. "But it's still just...so awful."

"I know, Helena. I know." Helga pulls me in for another hug, though it's clearly awkward for her. She's not used to comforting people. "It's hard to believe. But we'll get through this." In finality, she Pat's my back and says, "You were very brave today."

I can't help but laugh, but easily disguise the sound as another sob.

Jane

I don't know what time is is when I wake up... I don't really know much of anything when I wake up. And the pain in my head is so tremendous that I can't will myself to open my eyes right away. I lay still for awhile, letting my memories wash over me. The incident with Clayton in the kitchen comes back in quick bursts, pieces of the attack flying at me while the details fade in and out. What was the resolution to the whole situation? I assume my escape was cut short by Clayton sneaking up behind me, hitting me with that damn frying pan. Or perhaps he threw the thing at my head. I was the fool who dropped it within his reach before running.

Whatever the case, it doesn't appear that he got what he wanted. Someone must have come to my rescue before he could. I must be waking up in one of the doctors' offices. Yes, I'm laying on a sofa, practically smothered by heavy blankets.

I slowly open my eyes now, and all I see is white. Blinding white light overhead, white ceiling, white walls... Too sterile for one of the offices. An examination room? I look down at myself and see that I'm robed in white, but the image is blurred. I can barely move.

"Well, well..."

I turn my head toward the voice, which I easily recognize. Dr. Jafar, one of our senior physicians. Kind of a nasty character, but I suppose I can't hold it against him if he's been overseeing my recovery. I still can't get my eyes to focus, but his tall, dark form can be made out standing nearby.

"Glad you could rejoin us, Ms. Porter."

"Jafar? What happened?" I ask, my voice a hoarse whisper.

He chuckles. A deep, foreboding sound. "Helena gave you quite a bump, didn't she?"

"Helena?" I try to sit up, but can't. Too many blankets. My head spins.

"You really don't remember, do you?" A quiet tsk. "Poor thing..."

I try to lift my arms to remove some of the blankets, but they're stuck, crossed over my abdomen. I struggle for a moment, realizing that my hands are bound behind my back. I'm tangled up in fabric, unable to right myself.

"What's going on?" I groan, trying to turn over. But I'm resigned to remain on my back because thick strands of rope are holding me down. I begin to panic, breathing heavily. "What's happening?!" I look around again, and spot what seems to be a window behind Jafar. He steps out of the way, and through the window I see a few people gaping at me, but I don't recognize them. My vision is still dancing. I turn my head- a little too suddenly- and look down at myself again. All white, even the ropes holding me down. "This is unnecessary, Jafar. I'm quite alright. You can let me go now."

After a pause, I realize that he's making no move to do so. I turn toward him again. My vision is finally starting to focus. I can see him shaking his head.

"Jafar?" I whimper, reality starting to come crashing down around me. Through the window- door, actually- I can see Shang, watching me with pity... Flynn, staring on in exhaustion... Gaston and Helga, both glaring at me like I'm the devil incarnate... And Merida, watching in baffled disbelief and obvious pain. "Please, let me go..." I begin to plead, struggling more fiercely to free myself. "Please, there's been a mistake..." I look over myself again, and see clearly for the first time: a straight jacket. "Please, let me go! I don't belong here!"

"That's what they all say, my dear." Jafar says, uncaring.

"I didn't do anything!" I cry. "I don't belong in here, I've done nothing wrong!" I feel tears stinging my eyes, mostly out of shame due to my colleagues watching all of this. "Let me go!" I continue to wail, but he just stares at me. "Help me!"

"Oh, Jane..."

I scream when I turn to see Helena standing in the opposite corner of the room, looking so forlorn. She starts to come toward me, strapped down to this table like a test subject.

"It makes me so sad to see you this way." She sighs. She's been crying. Why?

"Please, make him let me go, Ms. Hornsby. Please." I gasp in between sobs.

"You know I can't do that, Jane." She responds, as though it's the most painful thing for her to say.

I gape up at her. "W-what? I don't understand..." I try again to pull myself out of the straight jacket, though I know it's futile to do so. "Why are you doing this to me?!"

"In spite of everything, I've decided- out of the kindness of my heart", she places one lithe hand over the center of her chest, "to allow you to seek treatment here. With us, the people who care about you."

"What...?"

"I've assured the police that you will pay the consequences of your actions, and also promised your father that you will be healed."

"What?! " I start up violently, and Jafar starts tinkering with something behind my head. "Where is my father? Let me talk to him! There's been a misunderstanding!"

"Oh, poor Jane. You really are too far gone..." Helena starts to lean in toward me.

"No!"

"You must understand, dear. We're only trying to help you..." Her lips hover next to my ear, and she practically hisses, "But you must answer for Clayton's murder."

"No!" I scream, unable to contain my terror, and the primal rage that consumes me as I realize what she's done to me. Alice was right all along. And so was I. "I didn't do it! I didn't kill him!" I turn away from Helena, begging for anyone standing outside the door to listen to me. Helga and Gaston stare numbly back at me, unbothered by my torment. Shang hangs his head, pressing a palm over his face. Flynn simply turns away and starts to leave. But Merida has a hand pressed against the glass, gazing back at me through her own tears. "It wasn't me! Merida, please help!"

"She can't help you, dear. Only we can." Jafar muttered. I can see the light dancing off of a thick metal syringe out of the corner of my eye.

"No, stop! Get away from me! I'm not insane!" I can't turn away from Merida, who also can't will herself to tear her eyes away from mine. "Merida, please believe me! Don't let them do this! I'm not insane, I'm not!"

"Enough of this." Helena snaps. She pulls a gag out from behind her.

"No!" I try to pull myself away from her, but it's impossible. I look back at Merida, who's hiding her face behind her hands, shoulders shaking violently while Shang tries to comfort her. The other guards have left. Even Tarzan is watching in awed horror from his room across the hall. "Merida, help! No-"

My screams are muffled when Helena forces the gag over my mouth and pulls it taut. I continue to shout and struggle while she ties it tight enough to hinder any movement of my jaw. More tears stream down my face from the pain. Then, I see Jafar guiding the syringe toward my throat and buck harder under the restraints, desperate for an escape. I search again for Merida, for any comfort. But now she and Shang are gone, as well.

The needle sinks slowly into my neck, and I let out one last painful scream, barely recognizable as a sound a human might make. Jafar plunges the sedative into my blood stream, then mercilessly wrenches the needle out of my skin, making me cry out again in shock. I sink against the table, broken and utterly defeated, muzzled like a dog, my face soaked with tears.

"You were lucky we had room for you, child." Helena says, grinning down at me. My vision starts to blur, everything's going black again. I can't fight any more. "Too bad about Cinderella, though... I'm afraid the poor thing clawed her eyes out early this morning. So sad... Oh, well... At least it means we get to keep you, right?" She laughs, a harsh, grating cackle. Now Jafar is standing next to her, but I can only focus on her face as I slip away. She smiles again, and in my foggy mind I imagine she has elongated fangs instead of teeth, and bright yellow eyes with slitted pupils. What kind of sedative is this?

"Sweet dreams, pet..." She whispers to me.

Against my will, I'm pulled into the abyss, secretly hoping that I never wake again.