30th Bite

The sun going down was the only way Bonnie knew she was living another day. She knew the seasons wouldn't change, the leaves won't turn a golden brown, and that there won't be any rainy afternoons, snowy days, or summer nights watching the fireworks. While most people had a favorite season, Bonnie loved them all.

Damon is always telling her to sleep but it was only at night that she allowed herself to just be. Even as someone who was full of hope, Bonnie had to cry sometimes, she had to wallow in her own misery and let it burn up when the sun raised.

On the couch, she curled up in a tiny ball. She wouldn't cry tonight but her eyes were low and her bottom lip was sucked into her mouth.

When Damon returned, he brought a cup of tea with him. "Here," he said in a casual tone.

Bonnie looked up and was surprised by the offering but said nothing as she took the cup from his hand. She blew over the hot tea and Damon sat next to her, sipping on his own cup of tea he secretly splashed some alcohol in.

They sat quietly together for a long time before Damon decided it was time to speak. A chatty Bonnie was pain in the ass but a totally silent one scared him.

"Bonnie," Damon said with no response. "Bon?" He tried again, looking at her and still nothing. Damon slid closer to her and rested his arm around on the back of the couch. "Come on, Bonnie; look at how dangerously close I am to cuddling you. Aren't you disgusted?"

When she still said nothing, Damon reached for her. With a gentle hand, he touched her face, from her widow's peak, down past her ears, and along her chin. She raised her face at the pace of his touch and looked in his eyes.

"If you're finally going to fall asleep, you should do it in bed."

"I'm not…"

"Then what?" Damon's hand never dropped from her face, her cheek rested in his palm.

"I just want to go home."

"Me too."

"I miss my friends," she went on.

"I had very little but I get it," he smiled.

"I miss Jeremy."

"You could definitely do better but I'm sure he had his charms," Damon said honestly.

Bonnie smacked Damon's hand away at that comment.

"Jeremy was sweet and always trying to do his best. He was always looking out for me."

"How nice, was that before or after he cheated on you?" Damon asked in a snarky tone.

"Damon, stop." Bonnie took a sip of her tea. "What a normal thing to be upset over in a relationship, cheating."

"Anna was a ghost."

"Jeremy who was just Elena's little brother, or an addict slash drug dealer, I couldn't love that Jeremey. I had to see him as the man he wanted to be and proved he was. As for Anna, well, we broke up over it then. I know that Jeremy loved me but her? She just left a space in his heart that was too big for me to fill. Once he could see her and touch her, it must have been painful trying not to."

"I don't care!" Damon snapped. "He should have been grateful to have someone like you."

"And he is! I already spent my time being mad at him, Damon. I let it go and I got to love him again. I loved what we had and when we get out of here I'm going back to that."

Damon was irritated beyond belief at this point. He didn't like Bonnie talking about that idiot so lovingly. She deserved so much more than what Jeremy could ever offer her. Everything—she should be given the world—the moon and the sun.

There was suddenly a pain his Damon's chest.

"Damon?"

"What if he's moved on?" Damon asked, knowing he only intended to break the tie Bonnie had to Jeremy. "Ever thought about that? How long have you been dead now?"

Suddenly, there was a tear in Bonnie's eye. She wiped it away quickly. "Then he should be allowed that. You're right, I did die, and I shouldn't expect him to wait for me to return. I could love Jeremy without being his girlfriend especially after what I put him through, telling him that I was dying over the phone. I never gave him that closure so I have to worry about how he decides to cope with that. But if he's happy, then I could be happy for him."

Damon's jaw locked up. His love didn't work the way Bonnie's did. He was selfish and reckless and couldn't imagine something so insane has being happy for someone else's happiness. He definitely didn't for Stefan when he was with Elena. Damon spent years being jealous and guilty and then one day Elena was his and he had friends who liked him despite being a murderer. What was that? What do you call living a life that you didn't earn out of kindness and Bonnie's special brand of decency?

"Still don't like him but I guess you have a point." Damon said lamely.

"What? Damon admitting defeat? I really must be in another dimension!" For the first time since sundown, Bonnie smiled and Damon's heart had admitted defeat as well. Bonnie was special and if this was the end, the end with Bonnie is more than he could ever dream of. He would have gotten to know her, he would have seen that shamelessly dazzling smile, he would have seen her for everything she was worth and to his surprise, and she was worth infinitely more than he had in exchange.

Damon frowned.

"Thank you, for the tea." She placed the empty cup on the table. It was ok now to finally sleep. Tomorrow she'll try her hand at her magic again. Maybe tomorrow will be the day it finally happens. "Aren't you tired?" She asked in a sweet voice. Damon looked up at her, even in the dark Damon wondered if she could see the damage she'd done. His walls were falling apart and it was terrifying.

"I'm not tired." He said evenly.

"Really? You're usually pushing me into my bed by now," Bonnie said with a short laugh. "Come on, let's go. If you stay up, you're going to wake up grumpier than usual and you're gonna blame me for it."

Damon let Bonnie pull him from the couch and then push him up the stairs. Bonnie was grumbling about needing sleep and Damon being too heavy the entire time. She finally let up when she brought Damon to his bedroom door.

"Good night Damon," Bonnie sung has she walked away but Damon caught her arm before she got too far. She looked him in the eye, "What?"

"I'm hungry." Damon mumbled as put his arms around her. Bonnie is small, he had to hunch over just to get her in his arms, but it was worth putting his back out.

"I'm not a midnight snack Damon."

Damon smiled. His lips brushed against her neck. "Really? Looks like it to me," he snickered.

"Idiot," she murmured as she clutched Damon's shirt in front of her. Damon, unsatisfied, takes Bonnie's hands and put them around his middle. Then he bit her, drawing only a small amount of blood from her veins.

Delicious.

I got this chapter out on the 12th, which wasn't planned but Im happy that its out on the day Ian's episode debuts. Got some wheels turning this chapter. I have some ideas for other bamon stories that'll come out soon, so look out for that, it'll be one shots though, multi chapter is hard lol

comments please!