It had been a strange end to the evening for Starbuck, even stranger to watch skittish Rene agree to be alone in a room with the Commander. He wanted to think it was progress, but he suspected that it was much worse. The holes in her memory from a Cylon stripping of her memories made her forget who she was. The Rene he knew would not have gone willingly into a room alone with anyone higher than a lieutenant.
Apollo had tried to ease his worry, bringing up again the suggestion that it was time that the Copper Squadron, or at least Starbuck and Rene, moved over to the Zakar. While he was all for it and Crius was in too, he didn't think their wives would like the idea.
"Ask her. What can it hurt to ask her," Apollo kept intoning, but the angry glare from not just Jake, but Nik and Jason reminded him that Apollo had a lot to learn about women.
"You ask her," he finally replied hoping that his wife would shoot Apollo like he was afraid she would him if he asked. He didn't like Apollo's insistence that he would ask just as soon as Adama was done speaking with her. It took Starbuck begging, "No, not tonight. Hasn't this dinner been weird enough?" for Apollo to drop the subject. But once Adama returned, minus Rene, Apollo insisted on coming with him and Jake back to their quarters to make sure everything was alright. Starbuck didn't mind his buddy joining them, but the last thing he wanted to talk about was the Zakar and the Rat's past. He wanted to stick with talks of the future and put his own recent traumas far behind them.
"It's going to be okay, you'll see. Better than okay. She and I have bonded and I wouldn't ask if I didn't think she'd love the idea." Apollo's optimism was delusional.
"Are you sure the Cylons didn't get to you too? You seem to have forgotten who we are dealing with." Apollo did nod at that statement and agreed to wait for a better time to ask when he saw the real concern in Starbuck's face.
Surprisingly, they found that Rene was doing better than okay when they got to the quarters. She didn't seem as upset about Gaia's visit, but she wouldn't share what she and the commander had discussed or impart whatever magical words Adama had uttered to convince Rene that everything was going to be better. Like father, like son, Starbuck guessed and he hoped that maybe having Apollo around might lighten the mood in his quarters, and since Rene's best friend wasn't going to be leaving any time soon, why couldn't he have his best friend too? It seemed it would be a continuation of their recovery in the Life Center when Boomer eventually knocked and he and Max joined them as well, blankets in hand. Starbuck wanted to protest. They were fine or Salik wouldn't have let them leave his care and even Jake was being extremely overprotective, but it seemed a fitting end to the botched mission, certainly better than their sleepovers at Salik's place. It might help Rene to feel safe and rest easier.
Starbuck couldn't deny he slept better with the sounds of his friends around him. Jake had the courtesy to take the floor by the bed rather than curling up next to Rene. Boomer and Max fought over the sofa, but Nik's arrival settled the debate as he entered the room, draped his lanky body over every cushion and promptly started snoring.
"So you were right that first night I met you, you do sleep in the male bunkroom," Starbuck quipped with Rene, enjoying the warm smile she shared with him.
"Yeah, I've seen it all and heard it all," she said, indicating Nik's snoring. "Get him to roll over and it's not as bad."
"Make sure you roll over too," Max teased.
The giggle that came from Rene radiated warmth and Starbuck felt his chest loosen. The deep breath he took was the sweetest since he first set foot on Caprica. He drifted off quickly not realizing how tense and tired he had been.
The next morning everyone dispersed to begin the process of reporting for duty and getting back to business as usual in a fleet on the run. Apollo stated more than once that he had to get back to commanding the Zakar, but lingered, offering to take the last turbo wash and to do the dishes from their breakfast. Starbuck wondered if he was waiting for an opportunity to ask them to move to the Zakar, but it never came up and he began to think that maybe Apollo wasn't so anxious to be in command. "Who wants to be in charge? It just means more work and more responsibility," Starbuck had always claimed. Perhaps his friend had found the words to be truth?
Everyone had some place they had to be except Rene, and Starbuck deliberated if he should have her come with him today. It's not like he was going to be flying, just hanging around the duty office helping get some paperwork done until he was cleared to fly in a cycle or two. Nik offered to keep her company as his way of avoiding whatever training or patrol he had. Any other time Starbuck would have called him out for it, but not today. He'd make sure Nik was excused from whatever it was he wanted to avoid as long as he kept Rene from doing too much.
He left the two in the Council chambers assisting Jason and Cain in getting the kids off to school. Crius said he would him as soon as he took the babies to the child care center. Apollo walked him to the duty office and hung around for a while until the summons came from the bridge for Starbuck to report to the Commander's office.
"Well, it was fun while it lasted," Starbuck said as he clapped his friend on the back, "but duty calls. Don't make me have to arrange anymore covert and dangerous missions just to see you again."
"Consider my proposal and we can have daily dinners," Apollo replied heading off. It was tempting and if it weren't for Rene, he would have said yes right then, instead of having to give Apollo a hesitant "We'll see," for an answer.
As he walked to the Commander's office, he plotted different ways he could convince Rene to relocate to the Zakar. It really was a great idea, but if he played his cards right, it could be just the two of them, no crazy ex boyfriends or old buddies she hung out with on the streets. The kids of course would join them, and Jason might need the change when Cain left for training in a secton or two. Maybe Crius and Lizbet would come along and that would make Rene not think this was an attempt to break up the Rats. Or Boomer and Max, or even Nik and Dara, but he knew even in her diminished mental faculties from a cylon scan she would see right through to his real objective, Rene spending a little less time with Jake. That wasn't what Apollo's proposal was really about, but it could be a nice added bonus. The Zakar wasn't that far away, in the same fleet after all. In fact, if he looked out a viewport, it was right there. Now if he could only convince Rene of something even he didn't quite believe.
He chimed the door and entered the Commander's office and stumbled in surprise. Seated were two individuals he never in his wildest dreams thought would occupy such a small space, at least not willingly.
"So the Cylons did frak with my head," he mumbled staring at the pretty IFB reporter who had interviewed him for the "Warrior of the Centaur" segment and Rene, both smiling at him like they were the felixes and he was the wild yellow avian.
"Starbuck, we have a proposal for you," Adama handed him a drink and gestured to his own chair behind the desk. Starbuck quirked an eyebrow at his Commander, tempted to take the man up on the offer. No one sat in the commander's chair and if he were to take the seat, he would most definitely be putting his feet up on that desk. He reluctantly declined, but he did take the proffered drink, hoping it would help him clear his head. Expecting fruit juice or weak vino as usual, Starbuck gasped at the unexpected potency and the fine quality of the aged liquor in the glass.
Once he stopped coughing, he choked out, "Let's cut the felgercarb sir, what do you want?" It took everything he had to put the end to this charade and set the drink down. The stuff was damn good. No one answered him at first and he looked to his wife wondering just what kind of dirt the IFB had to convince her to be at this meeting. "It's all lies." He instinctively tossed out in defense.
"Now Starbuck," the commander began, "we just want to discuss an idea we all had, something that could be mutually beneficial not only to you and the IFB, but for everyone in the fleet."
Starbuck groaned. "No. NO! We said no, we are already sealed and I don't care what lies they have fabricated, you can't force us to be interviewed or…or whatever. Right, Rene?"
He intended to offer her support and the rescue she probably needed, but instead she threw him under the landram. "I think you should hear her out, handsome."
"Handsome?" It seemed that the battlestar had just flipped over and they were living in a galaxy where Rene and Adama were aligned with the IFB against him. "So they got to you did they. I'm serious, you don't have to do anything they tell you to do. This isn't the Zakar and they can't make you." He took a step towards her, reaching for her hand, but she didn't take his. She put another glass in his hand instead.
"Have a drink, Starbuck," she said.
It hit him then and he realized they must have found a way to get her to agree. He looked down at the amber liquid a fine aged ambrosia. Someone had found her stash.
He shook his head trying not to curse, but he took the drink. It was even better than the one the commander had handed him. Before he could speak and remind her that he had tried to warn her, Adama took command.
"In the wake of the recent setbacks on our journey, the IFB and those of us in command have been discussing ways to improve morale in the fleet. The triad tournaments have been a wonderful diversion for our people, but it has been pointed out that maybe they appeal to only some of our population. Another segment of our civilians crave other forms of entertainment."
"Other forms of entertainment?" he asked, beginning to not like the way this meeting was headed. He downed his drink and held out his empty glass for a refill. Glug glug. Music to his ears, magic to his palate, salve to his psycho-rhythms.
"Romance," the IFB reporter purred as she got to her feet. "Love at first sight, two warriors swept away on a wave of passion in the midst of tragedy, star-crossed lovers brought together, a forbidden romance and, of course, for propriety's sake, leading to a sealing, one unlike anyone has ever seen before in a military fleet. A union of two worlds, brought together to forge a new life. Can't you see it, Lieutenant?" She was making sweeping gestures with her hands as she spoke.
"Uh huh. I think I need another drink, in fact, just leave the bottle," Starbuck answered, reaching for the glass he had set down on the Commander's desk. "So you guys started drinking early today, is that it?"
"Now Starbuck," the Commander scolded but he stepped towards him, putting on his fatherly guise as he set the bottle down in front of him. "You know full well the conflicts we have had in merging Dante's people with our own. I believe you have fist hand…I mean first hand experience dealing with those problems. This could be an important symbol of our reconciliation."
"Oh, I see, black mail. That escalated quickly." He poured himself another drink wishing his good friend, Apollo of the Indignant Righteousness, was there.
"Yes it did, as I'm told." The commander's friendly smile turned to steel for a moment just to let Starbuck know this wasn't a game.
"Okay," he sighed before pouring himself yet another drink from the bottle on the commander's desk. "So what are we talking about here, because Rene and I are already sealed if you remember."
"But I don't." Rene's voice disarmed the sarcastic comments that Starbuck was prepared to launch. He didn't know what to say as she continued. "I…I don't even remember meeting you…and I know they say it will come back…I'm sure it will…but I don't…don't r…remember the sealing. I just know I have a dress I nev…never g…got to w…wear."
He hung his head, picking up the bottle and taking a swig out of it directly. She had him because right now he couldn't deny her anything she wanted. But he knew this was not her idea. He tried to think for a moment, and was surprised everyone in the room gave him the time to collect his thoughts. It was so unlike the IFB. He set down the bottle and took the steps towards Rene, reaching for her hand. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."
She nodded. "I know. But I do still have the dress, and it does fit…for now. It's not for me, or you. Our friends deserve a party and…" She paused taking a deep breath. "And so do you. You didn't even get a bachelor party or…"
"I don't care about that!" He tried not to shout, but Rene squeezed his hand.
"But I do. You deserve a real honeymoon, not cylon torture. It was my fault and…"
"I'm not agreeing to this if you keep that up!" It was the only bargaining chit he had, and he used it.
"Okay…okay…a party. You and all our friends deserve a party and I can smile for the IFB to get it done. That's all I have to do. Wear a dress that makes me look pretty, smile and be in love, which I am, so there, problem solved. Besides, what are we going to do with all that alcohol? I guess I could drink it all…"
"No. No you can't." As her stutter had magically vanished, Starbuck wanted to be angry, but Rene had a point and at the moment she sounded so much like the girl he had met one night in the blue squadron bunk room over a bottle of ambrosia. "Okay, but only on one condition." She nodded and he went on. "It is the way WE want it, not how anybody tells us it has to be. This is still about us, well, us and our family, agreed?"
She smiled at him. "Yes."
He nodded once, looking at her skeptically. "You don't get to win every fight. Next one is mine."
She nodded again and the pretty woman from the IFB interrupted beaming.
"Oh good, I knew we could all agree! Now I was thinking…"
"One centaur," he cut her off.
"Pardon?" she said still smiling.
"One centaur. That's all you get for filming, the ceremony and whatever else, just one centaur."
"Oh, we can't do a celebrity sealing justice in under six centaurs. In exchange the IFB will of course pick up the bill for the food and the flowers, oh we must have flowers and suites on the Rising Star and, of course, the honeymoon."
"Six?" he and Rene both said. Rene shook her head no and the Commander spoke before Starbuck could.
"Two centaurs should be more than enough time. After all, it is a short ceremony and the couple will want some privacy."
"Four and we could film it during the dinner hour" the woman said quickly. "It will be like the whole fleet is sitting down to a family feast and you know how eating a meal brings us all together. Won't that be nice?"
Starbuck saw the cunning behind the woman's insipid smile. She read the hesitation in Starbuck's eyes.
"A honeymoon could be arranged, three whole days spent enjoying all the luxuries the Rising Star has to offer. All meals included."
"Throw in cubits for the chancery for both of us and we will agree to two centaurs." Starbuck upped the ante.
"Of course, but we must have five centaurs to fill the spot of the triad game that will have to be cancelled." She implored the Commander. "We know how your pilots love the triad games."
Rene's voice joined the negotiations. "We want rooms for the whole family for the night before, and the Astral Lounge reserved for the bachelor party, then we might consider three centaurs."
"Rene," Starbuck started to say again that he really didn't care if he had a send off, but the reporter cut in before she could lose the gain.
"Of course and one round of drinks on the IFB and we might be able to make do with four centaurs. Yes, I think four might be just right."
Starbuck shook his head, feeling like he had been outplayed from the moment he had walked into the room. "So you all had this set up before you called me, didn't you?"
"M…maybe," Rene whispered to him as Adama wrapped his arms around Starbuck's shoulders.
"It seemed like a good way to reward you for your previous conflict resolution attempts, and since you seem to be off the patrol schedule for a while, you have the time, don't you think? How soon can you have this arranged?" Adama asked the woman before Starbuck could object.
"Oh we will need at least two sectons to really do it justice, the flowers and the invitations and…"
"You will have a secton," Adama said, ending the conversation.
"Oh Commander, you must be joking. This is a sealing we are talking about, not a military parade. There is so much more that goes into it than people marching down an aisle. You want to make the happy couple look good, don't you?"
Starbuck recoiled at the insult. "I look good!"
"A secton is all you have. I must insist as that gives the happy couple time to enjoy the honeymoon you are providing and then my decorated warriors need to get back to work protecting the fleet. Everyone knows how important their duties are to the survival of the Colonial people." Adama removed his arm from Starbuck and took the reporter by the hand leading her to the door. "Now that we have reached an agreement, I will let you get to your arrangements."
"Oh yes, I'll have to set up the venue and the suites and oh, Lt. Rene, we will need to discuss the menu and the…" Adama politely yet firmly guided the woman to the door with the instructions that she should contact him to set up times for the meetings, but tomorrow at the earliest. While the Commander worked at getting the reporter to leave, Starbuck held tight to Rene's hand, ducking his head a little to make sure he was meeting her eyes.
"You don't have to do this."
She took a deep breath before sighing. "I would rather go back and face the cylons, but yeah, I know and I…" she hesitated.
"Hey, I'm serious," he said softly. "We can face the charges on the black market goods and I really don't care about a send off."
She nodded and tried to look away. He reached to brush the hair from her eyes and lift her chin up. "I mean it, sweetheart. You may not remember our sealing, but I do. We could reenact that if that's all you want, the memory."
"No…I…I remember. It's just…our friends really do deserve a party. This isn't about us."
He nodded. Imagine having a sealing that really wasn't about the bride or groom. He'd been played. She'd slid a capstone up her sleeve, a whole deck of them, and he couldn't even find it in himself to be mad about it. "Yeah, they do. Guess I can make the sacrifice if you can. Means I'll have to wear the dress uniform, but at least I'll get to see you in a dress. Tell me that it's skimpy and I might say yes."
She smiled at him and he couldn't resist kissing her right there in the Commander's office.
The Commander cleared his throat, interrupting what was becoming something more than just a simple kiss.
"I think under the circumstances, you are dismissed from duties until after you have fulfilled your obligation to the new department of fleet morale and welfare. I will be appointing Athena as head of the new division and she will be arranging most of the details. Seems her own sealing to Bojay has given her some experience in how to stage an event and meld strong and opposing forces together. You can report to her when you …" Adama paused and began again. "Thank you. Both of you. I know this is not what you wanted, but you have been an inspiration as you have become integral members of the Galactica and the Copper Squadron. If we have learned nothing else from Commander Dante and his fleet, we have learned we must work together if we are to do more than just survive. I know this won't erase all of the damage done, but I think it will be an important symbol of what we could achieve in the future. Thank you."
Starbuck felt his throat close up at the unexpected gratitude. "Yeah, well, we haven't done anything yet."
"Oh yes you have son. You have done so much for the fleet and for this old man. Now get out of here before you two change your minds."
Starbuck figured he was probably right, they should get out of there before they realized just how deep in the mong they were. The IFB was planning his sealing. He'd never live this down. He picked up the rest of the bottle, meeting Adama's steely gaze with a slightly alcoholic glaze. "This should keep me focussed."
"Hmm."
Rene started to let go of his hand once they were out in the corridor, seeming to be ready to send him on his way back to the duty office, but he pulled her close, not caring who might come around the corner of the corridor. He pulled her into his embrace, longing to feel her lips and her body again. She didn't resist, melting into his arms and holding on tight as he kissed her until he couldn't breathe. He came up panting. "I don't have to be anywhere."
She laughed. "Okay, our quarters aren't far." She peeled herself away, starting to head for their rooms, but he pulled her back.
"No, I think we should go somewhere else." She gave him a quizzical look and he didn't want to recognize that maybe she didn't remember. He led her down the corridors, up the lift and then up the ladder, opening the hatch to the sanctuary. His suspicions were confirmed as she looked around the sealed dome, something close to confusion in her eyes.
Instead of asking if she remembered, he chose to ask if she was okay.
"Yeah…it just…" Her words faltered.
"Cree described it like an itch or a stinging when he felt like he should remember something."
She nodded looking up to him as he climbed up to the chair at the console. "There's supposed to be stars. I remember..." Her words trailed off as she concentrated, but he pressed the button and quickly climbed down to wrap his arms around her.
"Don't try so hard. That's why I wanted to come here. In this room, we don't have to try so hard." The dome opened up like a flower and the stars flooded in as well as a view filled with military might and weaponry drifting off the Galactic's starboard.
"Oh…" she started to gasp, but he didn't let her speak as he found another use for her lips. He went slow, as slowly as he could not wanting to hurt her, but he found himself gritting back a yelp as her hands ran across bruises and welts. He tried not to think about how he got them, what those machines had done to him. As he kissed her and tried to keep his touch gentle and slow, he tried to forget the sounds of her screams and the awful moment when they stopped.
His breath caught as she reached for his pants. It was her turn to ask if he was okay. Suddenly it was too quiet in the dome, and he wanted to hear her scream. He shook his head violently trying to toss out the thought. He didn't want her screams of terror. He just wanted to not remember.
"Just…just say something. Anything."
She shook her head, "I d…don't know what you w…want me to s…say. And…" She shrugged in his arms, but he knew she was indicating the stutter that came and went. It grew less each day, but it was a harsh reminder of what she had been through. He had no right to complain about what had happened to him, and she had tried to keep them from walking into that base. It had been his idea. No, he didn't deserve cylon torture for a poor decision, but she had taken the worst of the treatment and had they stayed longer, she wouldn't be here now.
"You could walk through a preflight check, or rattle off how to degrease viper parts for all I care right now. I just need to hear your voice. Just talk to me."
"Okay. Okay…I…" She shook her head, "I'm sorry they got you. I wish they hadn't. I should have…"
"The IFB? I should have just given them an interview. Maybe they will leave us alone after this and we could get a good party out of it."
She shook her head no, "The cy…cylons. It was my fault. It should have b..been.."
It wasn't what he wanted to hear. It was worse than the silence and he captured her lips with his hoping that her touch would chase away the memory of Caprica. He felt her tense and he knew he was confusing the hades out of her, out of himself, but he just needed to know that it was over, that they were both okay now. She pulled away and gave him a long look, the question clear, but he swore if she asked if he was okay, he was going to break something.
"Can we just forget about life for a while? Just you and me, and the stars, nothing else." He tossed out an old line and squeezed her arms as he tried to pull her closer. She didn't protest and he put his all into the kiss. He let her take the lead as he tried to shove out all the thoughts roiling in his brain trying to distract him. She had never been one to go slow and it had been a long time for him. It wasn't his best performance, nor a record for endurance, but Rene didn't seem to be complaining when it was done.
Afterwards, as they lay together under the stars, she was quiet. He was so tempted to try to explain, but wasn't sure where to begin. It just felt good to touch her and to feel safe with her in his arms. Her body had changed from what he remembered, and he found himself running his hands over her stomach, enjoying the feel of it and the proof there would be a future for them.
"Are you sure the dress will still fit?" He was serious, but she slapped at him like he was teasing.
"Yes. And just for that comment, no girls at your send off."
"What? The kids shouldn't be there…oh…" He truly hadn't registered what she meant forgetting that at civilian sealing send offs it was traditional to have women performing in lewd and lovely ways. The Colonial Service had frowned upon that kind of entertainment at warrior's send offs, but sometimes they did take the parties somewhere other than the OC, somewhere civilian and private. "I'm not sure Apollo would know to schedule that kind of entertainment."
"Uh huh," Rene replied skeptically. "I've heard the stories, Starbuck. A chancery on Piscera and sucking drinks out of navels?"
"So that's what you choose to remember? See, you're definitely acting like a wife already," he teased and she playfully slapped him again.
"Seriously, Apollo follows your lead. He thinks he has everyone fooled, but he's as bad as you are. I think Boomer should plan the party, don't you?"
"Yes dear," he said like a scolded husband.
"That's better," she said reaching for his hand and moving it to her chest. His fingers roamed and found the fading scar from where they had operated on her heart. He traced it lightly.
"You're okay? I didn't do any damage did I? The doc had said we should…"
She didn't let him finish. "Oh my lords, no! By the way, don't ever mention him again when we are like this. Way to kill the mood, Bucko." She didn't let him speak as she turned and kissed him, letting him know she was teasing. He let her tease him some more, feeling the tension leave his body and the grin on his face not feeling forced. This was just what he needed. He was home and safe. Of course it didn't hurt either that at his back was a beautiful view, made more lovely by the couple of heavily armed battle cruisers and his blaster was within reach. He felt safer than he had in a while. Now if the engines didn't sound so much like a centurion's drone, he could completely forget those few centaurs with the ILs.