The Patronus

A/N: It's just a story to get me back into things, having not written a word for months.

"Expecto Patronum..." murmured the boy to the large black cloak that exuded fear, terror and coldness beyond measure. His wand was held limply in his shaking hands as he valiantly attempted to point it at the figure. "Expecto Patronum!" he cried again.

It was all to no avail. The object of his fears overwhelmed him again, overcoming his feeble attempts at self-defence. It sucked the happiness right out of the air, making each positive and negative emotion, seem like a living thing, fighting for dominance and for stamping its presence. At that moment, it seemed like fear had stabbed happiness through its heart.

As the black-haired boy collapsed, his teacher, and unbeknownst to the boy, someone who was truly family, attacked the practice dummy, for that was what the Boggart-Dementor essentially was, and put it away for later use.

Remus Lupin rifled through his drawers, cursing himself for his paranoia regarding the chocolate stash he had stored. He moved it around twice a day at least. At the moment, it was direly needed. While the Boggart couldn't suck souls, it was nevertheless able to truly replicate all the other effects of Dementor exposure. As such, causing severe panic and heart trouble was one of them. No better remedy than a bar of chocolate to calm a person existed.

Finally he found a large enough chocolate bar. He conjured a cup and a small pipe, before melting the confection into the former. He first revived the boy, though he remained largely out of it. Conjuring a large cushion under the boy's head, Remus eased the chocolate down the boy's throat.

It was a bit before Harry could sit up.

Knowing full well what sort of answer another boy with the same face would have given him, and expecting much the same, Remus asked with obvious concern, "Are you alright?"

As expected, he got the answer, "I'm fine." Only, he got it with a dismissive scowl and a slight 'tch' sound. There had to be more than the green eyes that he inherited after all. Lily never liked to be seen as weak.

"It's remarkable how much you are like them," Remus idly commented, immediately regretting it.

"Like my parents?" the teenager asked with real interest, though it was tinged by tiredness and some broodiness. It scared Remus, the sheer amount he saw of two of the best friends he ever had in their son.

"Yes." He decided not to elaborate. The Ministry had taken away his chance to be with him, this child who was the only family he really had left. And now that he had finally met him, he never knew what to say, or what not to. "Can you tell me what the matter is? I mean, beside the fact that the spell is too difficult for your level, and as such something that I should never have asked you to think of?"

"I am trying sir. Please, let me learn it!" the boy protested in alarm.

"I am not going to stop teaching you Harry. But I must know what mistakes you think you are making to be able to do so better. I cannot share the thoughts you have at the moment you try the charm, after all."

Harry looked away with a frown. This man seemed almost concerned. "I am not good enough perhaps," he answered with a self-deprecating shrug.

"That's not true, and we both know it." Remus saw the traitor in that answer, always shying away from facing the truth when down. "Perhaps your memory isn't good enough?"

"Perhaps," the boy answered uncomfortably.

Remus frowned. He had tried being supportive and understanding yet firm, and it made the boy uncomfortable. There was nothing to be gained yet till he couldn't face whatever demon obstructed him from fighting the Dementors. He wasn't going to give up on him either. He had seen and observed enough to know that an unmotivated lout who rested on his laurels this boy wasn't.

"We will try again next week," he dismissed the boy, handing a bar of chocolate. He needed to know more before he could help Harry.

Hermione watched her best friend return from the Patronus lessons more and more morose. They were still on the outs after the Firebolt fiasco, and he hadn't even tried to hear her side. Ron was just...Ron. Still though, Harry was her best and first friend, in spite of his failings. So this row with him hurt. And the sight of his face and dimmed eyes made her feel worse still for reasons she didn't know. Not that anyone feels happy if their best friend is unhappy, but for Hermione, it was more. It felt as if she was partaking of the sadness.

"Are...are you alright?" she asked him timidly, startling him slightly.

"I'm fine," he answered mechanically.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, challenging the assertion with habitual ease. He just smiled wanly and shook his head. She gave him an unimpressed look and decided to pester him when he was again unguarded. Sometimes, he was just too stubborn.

He looked at her for a moment as if he was figuring her out. A few days ago, he would have been annoyed at her interference, but while he was no longer angry, he could see Hermione as she truly was, someone who cared for him truly. He felt ashamed. He didn't know what to say. All his life, he had apologised to people who he hated, if only to be assured of some living space and not being starved. How did one go about apologising to someone who only genuinely looked out for you, and who was right? It really isn't human nature to apologise and always want to mean it.

But this was Hermione. She always accepted him as he was. He decided to try. But first, he decided to think from her side as well. Had he not done what the Dursleys always did, never considering his side before meting out punishments for anything?

"Hermione?" he called out just as timidly.

"Yes?"

"I am sorry."

She looked up from her book. He was looking at her determined way, but it was obvious that he was working up the courage to say whatever he intended to. "What?"

"I am sorry for not listening to you about the Firebolt, and not hearing you out. You always look out for me. I am sorry, really," he added, more than a hint of a plea colouring his voice.

Her best friend was not wordy, but he was more than just a nice person all the same. She gave him a small smile, which then blossomed into a happy face as she hugged him. She especially liked the way he relaxed with his arms around her.

"Apology accepted Harry." She then gave him a stern look. "Don't make this a habit."

"I won't. I have resolved to hear everyone out before losing my temper. It might even save time and energy."

"Well, I am proud that you are learning something from it," she praised. "I can accept things this way this time." And this was also the unguarded moment. "So what happened in those Patronus sessions?"

"You are like a dog with a bone aren't you?" he asked playfully. She growled a bit and laughed. Then he sobered up. "They aren't going so well."

"Why?"

"I can't seem to get a hang of the spell, and Lupin ensures that I don't push too hard...but I need to get it."

"We'll see about it. I'll ask him about joining you."

"NO!" he responded vehemently.

She looked crestfallen as he refused.

"You already have so much to cope with. Having all electives is not normal. Even you have a breaking point."

"Oh." She considered it for a bit. "Well, that is no problem. I was having doubts about Divination anyway. I can leave it, freeing my time up."

"Hermione, please don't lose out on your education on my account. I am not..."

"I am not doing it on your account. I have been thinking about it for some time now. And besides, I doubt Divination will be useful if I ever have to face a Dementor. A Patronus will be, though."

Harry had no answer to that logic. "Are you sure?"

"I am."

He gave her a small, but very happy smile.

Hermione, Remus decided was a godsend. She encouraged Harry as much or more than he could. She was a quick student and was already getting some mist, even as Harry struggled.

"Come on Harry!" she would demand. "You can do better! A Dementor is nothing! Get it!"

Unfortunately, it had no effect whatsoever. Remus could see that Harry was somehow disappointing her, and that she could see something that he could not. He also marvelled at the fact that when angry, she looked remarkably like a teenaged Minerva.

"Why are you intent on wasting yours and Professor Lupin's time, Harry, if you refuse to fight?" she scolded. "What's the point?"

"I am!" he countered defensively. "I am just not doing well! Not all of us can be perfect like you and get it in the first try!"

Hermione knew him too well. "Liar," she branded him. "You may be trying, but I can see when you choose to stop fighting..."

Harry glared at her angrily. Then he got to his feet and fled. It was something more in character for her – not him. It also proved to her that she was right. She sighed.

"Care to tell me what is going on?" Remus asked carefully.

"Have you seen him cast? He tries well before the Dementor actually overwhelms him, and then he doesn't try at all, but rather seems to welcome it. He doesn't even try to back away."

"Isn't he fighting it?"

"In a way," she cryptically replied. "It's just not the Dementor he is fighting."

"Is there a good reason why the beast is here?" snarled Severus, as soon as he entered Dumbledore's office.

Remus ignored the jibe. "Thank you for coming Severus. As it happens, I asked for you to be called here."

"And what is it about? Has someone found out about your...ah...ailment?"

"As gleeful as that may make you, no, that is not the case. If you could abstain from your supposedly cutting wit, I will be able to come to the point, get my work done and be absent from your...presence."

"Please, gentlemen," Dumbledore wearily interrupted. "Be gentlemen."

"You expect too much Dumbledore," Remus simply replied. "Anyway, I am here because I have a request for you both. I need to help Harry and for that, I need help from you."

"Why would I?"

"You will, because you are clinging to something that while rightfully your own, is also something he has a right to have as well. Just as I do," Remus explained.

"No. I won't. That is all I have left."

"He doesn't even have that."

"It serves him right then."

Severus couldn't help but cringe at the look of disgust the beast levelled at him.

"And here I hoped that you wouldn't disappoint that one person," Remus remarked. "You really are just a Death Eater."

"Are you sure you want to go there werewolf?"

"Well, at least I wasn't willing like you were, was I?"

"Severus, Remus, please. I implore you to put your differences aside for this one time. And Remus, remember the Ministry edict."

"It doesn't mean anything to me anymore. He means more to me than anything else, and unlike some people, I am perhaps very selfish in the sense that I want the best for him."

"Well, I hold them both responsible for that absence."

"As I said, disgusting," Remus spat. He turned to Dumbledore with a glower. "Are you going to say no?"

"No. I won't. I have something more that I can do to help. You and Severus weren't the only people who could claim to care."

The withering glare that Dumbledore cast at Snape was summarily ignored.

"I said it's nothing Hermione," Harry bit out for the twelfth time as they strode towards Remus' classroom for their next session. He was trying to get away from her. She might mean well, but he didn't want to tell anyone what he saw.

"I have infinite patience. What do you see?"

Trying his best to keep calm and remind himself that Hermione only wanted to help, he replied, "It's my mum and dad okay? I just hear them dying."

"I surmised as much," said a voice behind them. It was Remus, who had come to fetch them. "You don't have happy memories much, do you?"

"Being a prisoner of the Dursleys doesn't lend itself to happy memories."

Remus had no reply for that. He cleared his throat. "Well, since you have no happy memories with them, Professor Dumbledore has agreed to my request to share the memories of their friends and colleagues and teachers."

"That's brilliant!" Harry answered gratefully.

"For that reason, I want you to come to my office. We are using a device called a pensieve. I will explain it better there. We will mix it up a bit."

And they did. It was better at first, but by the time they were midway through the session, it was back to square one with him.

"He is lying," declared Hermione. "It is not about the memory. It is all about the memory he is being shown."

"Even now?" asked a frustrated Remus.

"Especially now," she answered. When he sat down, she approached him with Remus in tow and sat down beside him. "Harry?"

"I'm getting better!" he declared in half-hearted elation.

"You were," Remus agreed. "But the Dementors still overwhelm you."

"I will get it. I am not giving up."

"It would be better if you gave up chasing the wrong thing," Hermione remarked.

"What do you mean?" he shot back, a bit startled by her comment.

"They don't really do that, do they?" she asked shrewdly.

"They don't do what?"

"Overwhelm you," she replied. "They don't overwhelm you. You let them, so that you can hear more."

"Don't be absurd. Why would I do that?"

"You know it."

Remus looked as perplexed by whatever insight Hermione had in the matter as Harry was trying to portray and was failing miserably. He instead looked ashamed and mutinous.

Hermione just hugged her best friend again, persisting even when he tried to stave her off. He gave up, eventually. She ran a hand up and down his back as she soothed, "You can't save them Harry. It's just a memory now. You can't try and save your parents."

It kind of ran away from what I was expecting it to be, but that is it. TAUNBW