Chapter 11: The Truth Hurts
Liv was in the shower enjoying the feeling of the water dripping down her body. She had been up for a few hours; while Happy still slept soundly. She smiled as she rinsed the soap off her body, she was beginning to feel more like herself especially after the previous night's revelation. She knew she would always bear the scars of her kidnapping but she would also be strong for it in the long run. Liv was surprised that she actually realized this so quickly; unfortunately for some it took far too long and they suffered deeply because of it. By no means though was she in one complete piece, she knew she would have to relive everything all over again when she told Natalie. She didn't know how soon she would be ready or actually be able to tell Nat about what happened to her. She longed for some sort of familiarity in her life.
Liv finished showering; she wrapped her body in a towel and walked into the hallway where Happy was walking out of his bedroom. He stretched as he walked out completely nude. Liv admired his body, it was covered in a different array of tattoos the most predominate being a snake that took up most of his chest and curled around his navel. He was muscular and she had the urge to go up and run her hands over his chest and down his abdomen. Liv's eyes trailed down his body to a neatly trimmed patch of hair which surrounded his sizeable member. She felt the familiar yearning between her legs as she thought about how Happy had made her feel the night before. Her eyes traveled back up to Happy's face, he was rubbing his bald head and looking back at her.
"Like what you see?" He smirked at he walked past her in the hall and smacked Liv lightly on the ass. She smiled back at Happy; she was thankful that things seemed to be lighter between them then they had been before. She made her way to the room where she was staying and pulled the clothing out of the bag. She dressed in a pair of dark boot cut jeans and a black lower cut t-shirt. She had been outside earlier in the morning, watching the sunrise; it was going to be a warm day. The room she was staying in had a mirror where she was able to put on some make up and do her hair. She decided to leave it down, it flowed in waves down over her shoulders and stopped right at the top of her breasts. She wanted her flat iron in a bad way. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw some of the bruises were turning a shade of yellow. Liv felt vain as she stared at herself, she missed her somewhat flawless ivory complexion; this girl that looked back at her was not what she wanted to see. She sucked it up and walked out of the room, towards the kitchen; she was hungry.
Happy's phone rang loudly as he got dressed, he looked at the caller id; it wasn't a number that he recognized.
"Hello?" He answered.
"Um…" The female voice on the other side of the line sounded slightly confused. He instantly knew the call was meant for Olivia. Olivia, the only woman he had allowed into his house and his bed. He smiled at the thought of the night's events. She had changed from a frail, terrified soul to a sex goddess. He was actually surprised to find he was felt a small amount of disappointed when she wasn't in bed next to him when he woke up. "Is Liv there?" The tentative voice called Happy out of his thoughts and back to reality. Happy had to think about it for a second he had never heard Olivia tell them to call her Liv.
"Yeah, hold on." He pulled the phone away from his face. "Olivia?" He called out, he didn't know where she was in the house. She popped her head around the corner of the kitchen, he held the phone out to her, "for you."
Liv knew it had to be Natalie as she took the phone from Happy who lightly grazed her hand as she took the phone from him. "Thanks." Liv smiled and walked towards the backdoor, where she sat on the top step before answering the phone. "Hey Nat." She smiled into the phone.
"So who was that?" Natalie immediately questioned. She could imagine the look on Nat's face, curiosity burning in her eyes. She had seen it many times in her life. It was the same look she got when Liv had told her about her first night out with Juice.
"His name is Happy." Liv said quietly into the phone, she didn't want to give away too much to her friend.
"What sort of name is that?" Nat giggled. Liv certainly knew how to pick men with weird names.
"Stop." Liv with said with some annoyance in her voice. "He was gracious enough to let me stay with him and he…" Liv trailed off thinking about how he gave her more than just her freedom. She smiled to herself, keeping that secret between her and Happy.
"Okay I get it." Natalie knew it wouldn't be good to argue with her. She was just trying to make like of the situation. Liv had changed, her voice no longer exuded joy, there was sadness to it and she sounded strained. "I just wanted to hear your voice." Natalie was near tears.
"I miss you, Nat." Liv confessed. "I have so much I want to tell you. I am going to see if it would be possible to let you come down for a visit soon. I need you." She wanted nothing more than to confide in someone, she knew if she could tell someone about what happened it would help her get over it. She didn't feel close enough to any of the club to do that.
"I would like that. I have a weekend off next week." Nat said quietly into the phone. She wanted to see that Liv was in one piece and was being treated well by these people. She wondered how Liv ended up in such a mess. It must have been because of Juice and his gang he had been a part of. Liv was so naive when it came to things like that but Natalie knew better, Juice had been in a gang.
"You don't know how much it would mean to me if you were able to visit. I'll talk to Jax today and find out if it is okay. Natalie, I want you to know that I am not keeping you at a distant because they are telling me to. I'm doing it on my own accord, I want to keep you safe." Liv kept her words honest. She wanted nothing more than to keep Natalie safe and from harm. "If you are able to come down you can't tell anyone. Not even Big Jim." Olivia missed the big man who she loved like her own father. It almost made her laugh because now that she knew who her biological father was Jim was nothing like him. Tig was, well he seemed marginally off. But at least she was HER slightly off father.
"I wouldn't say a word." Natalie smiled into the phone at the thought of seeing Liv. "You sound better than you did yesterday."
"Oh?" Liv smiled thinking about the liberating experience she had with Happy. Plus she had not just listened to Juice's voicemail several times in a row. "Well I am feeling a little like myself again. It will be a while before I am able to say I feel completely like myself again." Liv heard the door open, she looked up to see Happy peering down at her. "Nat, I have to go. I will talk to you soon okay?"
"Alright. I love you, Livi."
"I love you, Nati. Bye." She clicked the phone closed. Smiling at the thought of possibly seeing her best friend.
After many arguments for and against, Jax finally gave in and decided it would be okay for Natalie to visit Olivia. He didn't really want to give in but Happy and Tig were both giant advocates for the girl. He wondered if Happy's feelings towards her were more than lead on. Either way he guessed Olivia had grown on all of them some. Jackson's deciding moment was when Abel came to him and told him he loved Olivia because she was just like him. Jax couldn't understand what his son was talking about but then Abel told him that it was because she had two mommies just like him and they died like his second mommy. It made him wonder if Olivia would help Abel through his struggle to understand what happened to Tara. After that moment he felt closer to her and was more willing to allow her friend a visit.
Liv was drumming her fingers on the table at Redwoody. She was impatiently waiting the arrival of Natalie. Jax and Happy wouldn't let her to go with them to pick up Natalie from the airport. So she had to call Nat and tell her who to look for at the airport. They told Liv they were concerned about anyone following them. It wasn't something she would put past August and Moses. She had been kept under the watchful eye of SAMCRO for two weeks and there hadn't been a threat to her life or their club. Liv was happy to see she was finally starting to look like herself, there were only a few bruises that remained on her face and those were a light yellow color and she was able to cover them with makeup.
"Lyla give me something to do before I go nuts." Liv stood up and walked over to Lyla who was watching play back of one of the movies she had just filmed. Seeing the nakedness of the porn stars were nothing to Liv anymore since she was being shipped back and forth between Redwoody, Jax house and Happy's house. If she was at Redwoody she saw a lot of naked bodies both men and women. She always had someone watching her, no matter who it was; she never felt as safe as she did when she was with Happy. She smiled at the thought of Happy. They had become closer as the weeks had passed, it might have been the fact that the sex that they had was fabulous. He made her body feel ways that they had never felt before, not even with Juice. When no one was around she still called his cell phone just to listen to his voice and the nights she wasn't with Happy she would silently cry herself to sleep. Happy was a good distraction from the pain she felt deep within her soul. She wondered if Happy could fill that void or if he would be willing to.
"Liv, I'm sorry I don't have anything." Lyla said as they heard bikes pull up, she had really appreciated everything Liv had helped her with. She had taken to doing the accounts for Redwoody and she helped manage the stars, anything they needed Liv helped them get it or vice versa if there was anything Lyla needed from them, Liv got it for her; she was the go between. It helped Lyla out extraordinarily because it gave her more time to edit her films as well as start developing more. She didn't know what she would do when Liv went home. She had been her life saver.
Liv got along well with all of the stars but there were a few she hit it off with more than others. Lyla wondered if there would be a budding romance with Jacob and Liv, they had become close. She knew Jake was straight so there was that but then again she saw the way Happy watched over Liv. She thought that one time when he thought no one was paying attention he kissed her on the tip of the nose. It seemed a little intimate for Happy, from what she understood he was a fuck and go sort of guy. Either way she wanted Liv to be in a good place because she deserved it. Lyla knew how she felt when it came to losing the one you love. She had lost Opie and still yearned for him, that pain doesn't go away easily.
Liv ran out to parking lot, which was actually an alleyway. Natalie was getting off the back of Jax's bike. She took off her helmet and handed back to him. "Nat!" Liv ran towards her.
Happy was now the unhappy host of another house guest. How did he keep getting himself into that situation? Granted he wasn't complaining about Liv staying at his place. She would cook for him and make sure things were clean and the girl knew how to suck his dick just the way he liked it. It had been a while since he had to go to a croweater for satisfaction. He also felt something more towards Liv than he had before, he didn't know his feelings were something that he should pay attention to or not, so he pushed them into the back of his mind. He didn't really want to be attached to anyone, it made him vulnerable, he didn't like that feeling. Happy didn't know what it was about Liv that made him feel so indifferent but he realized it was more than just sex. He watched her run to Natalie and embrace her tightly.
"Liv!" Natalie squeezed Olivia tightly against her. It had been almost a month since she had seen her. She felt bad because she was so upset with her after she received the text from Juice saying they were going out of town. Nat didn't want Liv to get married without her around, especially since they had planned their weddings since they were little girls. But then she thought about what happened with Matt and the wedding that Liv had planned that didn't succeed and wondered if that was way she hadn't told her. But the text and Natalie's hopes for Liv's happy future were just a scam, a misdirection. Natalie stepped back from the embrace and looked at Liv. Her face was slightly thinner than she remembered and it had the remnants of bruises. She touched Liv's face where a bruise was turning a yellow color. "God, Liv." Nat frowned. "What happened to you?"
Liv stepped back looking at Natalie whose large brown eyes exuded concern and pain. "I'll tell you when we are alone." She wanted nothing more than to get her dirty little secret out off of her chest. Not that Natalie would understand what she was going through but she knew it would help. Her nightmares were not as bad as they had been the first few nights in Charming and she was pleased with that fact. Liv glanced back at Happy who was watching her and gave him a small smile. He was the reason why, he would hold her at night and she when she would wake up from a bad dream; he would be there to take away the memories. He would give her back her body. Liv bit her lip thinking about his hands on her, hands that knew their ways around her body and brought her world to life with mind shattering orgasms.
Natalie nodded as she interlinked her hand within Liv's. They made their way into Redwoody. "Do you want a drink?" She asked Natalie.
"Sure a beer would be great." Natalie replied as she took a seat at one of the tables.
"Hap? Jax?" Liv asked the two men who had followed them in.
"No thanks, we have church in a few." Jax said with a smile.
"Alright," Liv smiled as she gazed over at Happy. When they were in public, it was almost an unwritten rule that they didn't show how were starting to have feeling for each other, if that is what they were doing. They often exchanged glances and once Happy kissed her on the nose when he thought no one was looking. It made Liv blush, which of course he thought sexy. He loved it when her cheeks would flush a dark pink color. It made her wonder if there was something more between them than what was going on between the sheets.
With the guys in church and Lyla in her editing room Liv turned with her beer to Natalie to tell her the story about what happened to her. "I suppose I should start from the beginning…Juice was excommunicated from this club. All I know is that he crossed Jax and that is all; he had his secrets that he wouldn't even share with me. " Liv paused as she took a drink of her beer. Natalie nodded before Olivia took a deep breath and continued. "The last thing I remember from that night before I woke up was leaving Juice's house." Liv gave a half smile as she thought about her last night with Juice, she should have stayed with him like he asked but she decided it would be best if she went home. She wondered if things would have turned out differently for them, if she would have taken him up on his offer. "I woke up in a room that was lit by a hanging light, at first I though was dreaming and having some weird detective dream…I wish I would have been dreaming. But it wasn't, there was a man standing in front of me he had a knife in his hand and a cruel smile on his face. He enjoyed himself while he cut deeply into my flesh. That went on for days and he always cut into the same spots. Those scars will be with me for life." Liv touched herself as she thought about the angry red scars under her breasts. "After a few days they moved me into a room with a member of this club. We were only together a few hours but Bobby gave me hope. He gave me something I didn't have, a friend. Bobby was murdered in front of me. That is when I found out they killed Juice when he tried to save me. Their existences were just erased from this earth like they didn't matter. But they mattered…Juice mattered to me, even if he didn't matter to anyone else." Liv whispered as tears built up in her eyes thinking about the man she loved with the depth of her soul and the big man who had given her his friendship and hope.
"Liv, you don't need to continue…" Natalie had tears falling freely from her eyes. She knew how painful it must be for Liv to tell her these things. She was angry for her, she was feeling all of her pain.
"No, I do, I have to go on." Liv shook her head, she needed to confide in Natalie. "Nat, that wasn't even the worst of it…two men who were in charge of getting me back to my room…" Liv felt the men on her again. She wanted Happy as she stifled a sob, "they took turns raping me for days…several times a day. The men who had me in captivity are men who are enemies of this club, of Juice and my dad. That is why I was taken."
"What?" Natalie managed to squeak out of her. She moved herself next to Liv and embraced her. "Do they know what they did to you because of them?" Olivia shook her head no, how could she share such a shameful moment with them. She was ashamed. Natalie stood up in a fit of rage and stormed towards the place where the men were having their meeting, pulling Liv with her. She was blind with rage. "You're telling them what happened to you because of them or I will." How could Liv not tell them? How could she have allowed them to just get away with this? She barged into the room where seven angry and confused faces glared at her and Liv.
How dare she enter their Church without an invitation? "What the hell?" Jax growled as he stared down Natalie. Liv averted her eyes that were filled with tears.
"Olivia, tell them or I will." Natalie was stern like a mother. Happy wanted to go over and put the girl in her place for giving Liv an ultimatum.
Liv looked at Natalie with tears pouring down her face, "Please don't make me do this." She said in an almost inaudible whisper.
"Do it, or I will…what happened is their fault; they need to know what happened to you because of them!" Natalie replied not backing down. She was cursing the day that the man named Juan Carlos walked into the diner. She partially blamed herself because of what happened too. If she hadn't have asked Olivia to switch shifts then she wouldn't have met Juice, gotten kidnapped and raped.
Liv felt like a trapped animal; she was to the point of panic and she wanted nothing more than to run from the room but Natalie had a hold of her hand. Her heart was going to pound out of her chest. She found a spot on the table and stared at it, she couldn't bring herself to look at any of the men, especially Happy.
"It's okay angel." Tig encouraged Liv seeing the distress she was in.
Liv swallowed hard, this is not how she wanted to tell them. This is not how she wanted to tell him. She glanced up and stared at Happy, who she could see was visibly breathing harder. He didn't take his eyes off of hers. "I…" she started. How does someone tell their darkest secret, their most shameful moment? She pulled her eyes away from Happy knowing she didn't want to see his reaction. Liv squeezed Natalie's hand tightly, which she returned. Liv closed her eyes and revealed to the whole club what happened. "Before you came to save me…things so much worse happened to me than torture, I would have rather have the flesh cut from my body than what happened."
Happy watched Liv who had opened her eyes and was looking at a spot on the floor. He knew what she was going to say before she even said it. He could see her shame, it oozed from her. She couldn't look at him, he tensed up, clenching his fists and jaw tightly. "I was raped…several times a day for days by the same two men." Liv looked up at the men who sat in front of her. She wanted nothing more than for Happy to take her into his arms but he didn't. He sat there for a moment trying to comprehend why she wouldn't have told him before he stood up so forcefully his chair went flying backwards to the floor and stormed out of the room. She had betrayed his trust.
"Fuck, baby girl." Tig walked up to Liv and took her into his arms. She wanted to push him away and go after Happy. But she didn't. She sobbed into her father's chest. What had they done to her? "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you." He had tried hard to separate Olivia from this and he couldn't protect her. His heart broke for his daughter.
Liv pulled away from Tig, "It's not your fault, Daddy." Tig stared back at her with disbelief she had said the one thing he yearned to hear…daddy. Liv hadn't even realized she had said it, it was almost instinctual. She let Tig hold her for a little while longer as she tried to calm herself down. Unfortunately it wasn't the person she wanted to hold her while sobs racked her body, it almost made it worse seeing Happy's reaction. Natalie leaned in and embraced her as well. Liv's reaction made her instantly feel regret in her decision to push the truth from her lips. It was in the room at Redwoody that Liv's secret was revealed to SAMCRO and it was there she had realized she had feelings for Happy. He was the only one who could take away the pain of Juice, he made her feel again but he was the first one to turn his back on her as she revealed her painful secret. Liv realized that the truth doesn't set one free sometimes it can only cause pain.
A/N: Thanks everyone for your support. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think…I LOVE hearing from you all. I should have another chapter out tomorrow…if things go well, otherwise it should follow in a few days. I have to say that I love how protective/motherly Natalie feels towards Liv. Thanks for reading and again enjoy!