Chapter 11: Just Look at Me
The sky was gray and threatening rain as Liv walked out of Redwoody with Natalie and Rat. He was now in charge of getting them back to Happy's place. Happy had called Jax and arranged it. Rat was to stay with them until he got home, whenever that was. Liv would have been lying if she said she wasn't upset over his reaction to what she told them. She had just been forced to reveal an extremely painful secret and he stormed away. That isn't what you do if you care and it felt like he didn't care. Liv decided to suck it up and see what the evening brought, she wanted to enjoy her time with Natalie. She looked over at Natalie who had seemed to hit it off with Tig, she had thought he was funny. Liv interlinked her arm into Natalie's arm and felt contented to have some normalcy.
"Rat?" Liv turned to him as they climbed into the van.
He looked over at her, "Yeah?" He was slightly annoyed that he got stuck on watch but he did what he did for his club.
"Would you mind stopping so we can pick up a few things at the store?" Liv gave him a small smile. He, along with the rest of the club, looked at her differently now. She was the same girl she had been hours earlier, but they looked at her with concern like she would break any moment. "Don't look at me like that," she said to him.
"Like what?" Rat was shocked that she had said that to him. He tried to make his face blank; he wasn't very good at it.
"Like I am fragile. Yeah, everything happened to me, it sucks. I'm working on getting over it and you looking at me like that doesn't help." Her voice was tense, trying to send a deeper message.
"Sorry," Rat muttered, "I'll take you to the store. I am sure they won't be happy about it."
"Thanks Rat." She knew he would pay for it later if the club found out he didn't bring Liv and Natalie straight to Happy's house. It was a short time later the van pulled to a halt in front of the small grocery store in Charming. "You want anything?" Liv asked. Natalie had brought her purse, which held Liv credit card in it. She was happy, she had left hers at home when she went to Juice's house that night.
"Nah, I'm good." He watched as they walked into the store, knowing he should have probably followed them inside, but he didn't like the way the people of Charming looked at him. They were beginning to being to think that the members of SAMCRO were more of a nuisance, then they were for the better good of town.
The girls bought several bottles of wine, ice cream and a couple pizzas. Liv thought it would be nice to share with Rat because lord knows now long he would have to be with her and Natalie. It was time for them to settle into Happy's place for the night or the weekend for that matter. It was strange walking into Happy's house without him being there. It was almost awkward for Liv, like she was invading his privacy.
"Well, this is my home away from home." Liv turned and lifted her arm out doing a Vanna White pose. Natalie chuckled as she removed her shoes at the door, that was the Liv she knew and loved…maybe revealing her secret wasn't as bad as she thought. Liv looked over at Rat who started towards the bathroom. "Rat, shoes or Happy will kill you." He walked back over to the door and kicked off his shoes before returning to his original route.
The evening went by and Happy didn't return. Liv had a nagging feeling in the back of her head as she climbed into bed next to Natalie. "Nat, are you asleep?"
"Mmm." Natalie sighed, she had always been the one who could fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow no matter what was going on around her. Liv would sit up for hours and let her mind wander. Maybe that is why they had been such a good match as friends, they were opposites. Liv was—for the most part—reserved and tended to keep how she felt to herself, where Nat was outgoing and spoke her mind freely…too freely.
"I'm glad you're here Nat. I've missed you." Liv placed her head on the pillow and faced her friend.
Natalie's eyes popped open sensing her bubble had been invaded. She was immediately greeted by Liv's face inches from hers. "God you're close. Get away from me," Natalie jokingly pushed away from her but Liv invaded her space even more. The girls both sat there and giggled for a good ten minutes. It felt good to laugh, it felt normal. Things so easily fell into place for Olivia and Natalie, things had always been that way between them. Light and carefree, that was probably why their friendship had lasted the trial of time. Their bond had been tested by time and they still held fast.
It wasn't too long before sleep over took both of them and yet another bad dream wrenched Olivia from her sleep. She looked over at Natalie who was still sound asleep next to her. It must not have been as bad as some of the prior nightmares she's experienced. After tossing a bit she needed to get out of bed. The TV was on in the living room which meant Rat was still there. Liv found him asleep on the couch, so she grabbed the blanket off of the chair and covered him up. There was no use in him being cold when he woke up. She walked into the kitchen, what a mess, she thought. Good thing Happy wasn't around; he would not have been…well happy.
Liv cleaned the kitchen trying to be as quiet as possible, she didn't want to wake anyone, being alone with her thoughts is what she wanted. She realized she had fallen into a pattern with Happy: nightmare, sex, sleep, in any order, but when she had a nightmare he was there to take away the memories and create new ones. Liv smiled to herself as she finished wiping down the counter. As much as she missed Juice, Happy had made his way into her heart. She didn't know if was just the fact that he had opened her mind to so many new things or if it was the kindness he had showed her from the first moment he walked into to the room where she was locked up. She gathered the garbage bag up and headed outside with it as Happy pulled into the drive way. Her stomach did flips as he pulled up, she didn't know what to expect from him.
"Why are you out here?" Happy was blunt. He was hoping that Liv would have been asleep when he got home. He should have known better, she had sporadic sleeping patterns. He just wanted to avoid everything with her right now. He felt betrayed when he had to hear with the rest of his brothers about what happened to her. She should have trusted him enough to tell him, she should have felt like she could have come to him with that. He couldn't understand why she hadn't; now he was just angry with her. And there she was standing there in her pajamas in his driveway, he had the urge to turn around and go back to Diosa.
"I had a nightmare," Liv replied quietly as she tried to gauge how Happy as going to react.
"So you thought wandering around outside in your pajamas would be a logical thing to do?" He barked at her. "Stay in the fucking house!"
Happy's words hurt, as he had never spoke to her so harshly. Liv's eyes started to fill with tears, so she turned quickly from him so he couldn't see the pain he had caused her. "I was trying to keep you place clean," She replied quietly as she made her way back towards the house. It was clear enough to her that she wasn't going to get anywhere with him tonight. She needed to step back and look at this just as a living situation and not something that could blossom into more.
Happy couldn't see past his anger, he couldn't see that he had hurt the one person who he was slowly letting in. All he could see was what Olivia had done wrong and not that he was pushing her away. "Get up, asshole." He kicked the couch as he walked into the living room. "I've already got too many guests, you are not staying on my couch," He snarled at Rat who sat up quickly. How could he have not heard Liv walk out of the house? Marks could have walked into his house and done what he wanted with Rat on watch. Happy decided he would not have him keep an eye on Olivia again. Why had he taken it up as his responsibility to watch over that damn girl when it should have been Tig making sure she was okay; she was after all his daughter? He would take care of that in the morning.
The sound of laughter woke Happy up, he glanced over at the clock. Noon. He jumped out of bed quickly and got dressed. Grabbing his cell, he realized he had missed three calls, all from Jax. It wasn't like him to oversleep or not hear his phone when it rang. His mood was still fowl as he marched out into the kitchen to find Olivia, Natalie and Tig sitting at his table.
"What's up brother?" Tig smirked at him.
Liv's smile quickly left her face when she saw Happy. He looked just as irritated as he was the night before, which of course annoyed her. It wasn't like he was the one who had been raped and tortured. "I made coffee, it's still hot," Liv said, sounding more bitter than usual unintentionally. As pissed off as she was at him for his reaction to everything, she still cared.
"Why the hell didn't you wake me up?" Happy grumbled, it wasn't to any one directly, as if they were are responsible for Happy oversleeping when he'd been out all night.
"That's why I am here," Tig said, and he had too much pep in his voice for Happy's liking "I had decided that one cup of coffee with these two lovely ladies wouldn't be a big deal before waking you up since you got in after 3 in the morning."
How had Tig known when he got it? He realized Liv must have told him. Happy looked at her as he poured his coffee. She had her hair up in a wild ponytail, sporting a blue fitted V-neck shirt and cropped jeans. She looked tired and tense; there was no sign of the laughter or smiles that she had enjoyed with Tig and Natalie. "Yeah, sleep or no sleep we need to get to Redwoody."
"What do you think, Nats…you want to ride with this old man?" Tig asked Natalie. Please say no, Liv thought to herself…
"Sure." Natalie was thrilled at the thought of being on a motorcycle. She had always been intrigued by them and the ride with Jax made her want to ride them more. If she had paid enough attention she would have seen the look of discontentment on Liv's face and realized that she did not want to ride with Happy, but she didn't, as she was too self-involved to pay attention. She loved Liv's dad because he made her laugh unlike her own father who was strict and had no sense of humor.
Liv sighed deeply, and her ride to Redwoody was sealed. She finished her coffee; she had to pass Happy to put her cup in the dishwasher. He smelt so familiar to her, cologne and leather. She couldn't help but feel conflicted as she passed. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him but at the same time she wanted to punch him in the gut for how he was treating her. In the end she decided to do nothing. She didn't have it in her to be rejected or yelled at by Happy.
"Alright ladies are you ready to go?" Tig asked. He smiled over at Liv who looked anxious. He knew it was because of the way Happy reacted to her news. Tig wanted to take him aside and tell him off but he restrained, Happy was already in one hell of a mood and he didn't want to push it further.
"Yes!" Natalie was excited to get on the back of another Harley as she followed Tig towards the door.
Liv and Happy's ride to the club house was silent, neither of them said anything to the other. Liv barely touched Happy, she only held onto him when they rounded the sharp corner that lead them to the alley way of the warehouses. Liv watched as Natalie and her dad walked into the building. She wanted nothing more than to clear the air between her and Happy.
"Hap?" Liv turned around and stopped him in his tracks. She searched his face, for the man who made her weak in the knees. He wasn't there, all that she saw was a man with rage burning deeply in his eyes.
"I don't have time for this," Happy stated coldly as he started to walk past her. The reality of it was he didn't want to get into it with her. He was fine being upset with her, it helped him push her away. It gave him a reason not to care.
Liv grabbed his arm, "When will be a good time for you, Happy?" She felt undeniably close to tears again. She hated that he could bring her to tears so quickly. She hated that he made her feel so fragile. Happy whipped around towards her pinning her to the wall of the building. Liv could feel hear heart beating hard against her chest. Happy actually scared her, she didn't know what he was going to do next.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was full of fury.
"How could I tell you?" Liv questioned both of them. "Happy, how do you tell someone about the lowest, most difficult time in your life? You don't."
"You didn't seem to have a problem telling Natalie." Her name rolled off his tongue with venom.
Liv pushed Happy away from her, was this what it was about? He was jealous of Natalie? "Of course I told her! She has been my best friend since I was five years old! She is the only person I wanted to tell," Liv spit back at him as she pushed past him but then stopped and turned back to him. "The one thing I wanted yesterday was for you to hold me in your arms and tell me it was going to be okay." She paused for a moment, letting the words sink in, "but you didn't. I am already dealing with too much…I can't deal with you being an asshole to me." Liv couldn't believe that Happy was treating her so poorly. She didn't deserve that, she deserved the way Juice treated her. The thought of Juice, made the pain of his loss wash over her again. He would never be Juice, why was she allowing him to take his place? Her goal that evening was to find somewhere else to stay, she couldn't be around Happy anymore; it just hurt too much.
With those words still hanging in the air, Happy watched as Liv stormed off through the doorway. It hit him like a brick wall, she cared for him. He hadn't seen that coming, how could he allow Liv to care for him? The only person he had let close to him was his mother and she was now dancing in Heaven, if there was such a thing. From that point forward he was going to keep Liv at arm's length and now allow anything to happen between them. He was resolved to not allow her in anymore; not allow himself to feel anything toward the girl than him being her escort and roommate for time being.
A/N: Huge shout out and thanks to my Beta: AgentZyiana…you have made this chapter so much better with your expertise! Much thanks!
As always to those who take the time to read, thanks you so very much! I hope that you have enjoyed this chapter…not super life changing but not every chapter will be. I am currently working on Chapter 12 and will have it out to you soon! Cheers and Enjoy!